Trans/Genderqueer/Agender/Questioning Thread

I'd just explain that said niece gets to be the person they want to be, and even if your daughter can't understand why the niece wants to be male, you accept that it's just fine and you think she should, too. Then act like it is a perfectly acceptable change. She'll follow your lead, if a bit confusedly, and grasp it better later on.

Yeah! You could build on the truism "People get to be called whatever they want to be called" maybe, like, "You know how your friend's name is Gertrude but she likes to use her middle name, so we call her Amelia? This is kind of like that--[niece] asked us to call them [nephew] for now because it feels better that way. Everyone gets to decide their name and other things about them for themselves."

Another threshold crossed today: Cleveland PRIDE activities start tonight and go all weekend, so I decided to present in my workplace for the very first time as my preferred gender. I've been getting more comfortable but still a little nervous today, especially when I had to get on a small elevator with five men this morning.

https://i.redditmedia.com/D_AnrasnVjl54iDiFn_D2bkSGNlcAO92HgsgQoNhKiQ.jpg?w=418&s=9d204b1dbb6d90597dd29fb4fabe5b23

you look great eliza!

Thanks, Brad! <3

Yay and kudos...you!

(Still not sure if you prefer 'Liz' or 'Eliza'. It took a work buddy a couple of years to tell me he preferred being called 'Rob' to 'Bob' so now I'm like overly-zealous with double-triple-checking before I start slinging around diminutives like I know what's up.)

I'll be going by Liz, but wanted to avoid it in my username so as not to trod on the memory of the late ILX poster.

wow, Liz, that's great

liz you look fabulous i dig your whole style so much

You look absolutely great Liz!

have fun at cle pride! i'll be in colorado in a pride march w/ some close friends whose daughter is trans

oh whoops sorry liz, sometimes i rely too heavily on addressing ppl by their usernames

No harm no foul :)

Liz your hair is EXACTLY the hair I want; can I show your pic to my hairdresser? You look fab, congrats on the big day at work!

Please do! It's an inexpensive wig my wife picked out until my own hair grows out enough to style properly. It does wonders, way better than the old long wig that pulled my face down so much.

magnifique! That hairstyle suits you.

eliza! guapa! five men in an elevator is scary no matter what -- keep your head held high and feeling great <3

My partner was registering on a site for a conference coming up and he was showing me that they had a dropdown about preferred pronouns. He was so confused, so we had a nice moment where he learned something new.

liz this is great, you're genuinely an inspiration

wow, big step! Hope it all went well at work. you look awesome.

Hey, this is a great thread.

As part of my recent employment changes, I was mandated to attend the Meeting of the Minds conference over in Santa Ana yesterday. The majority of lectures offered were mental health focused, but I attended one titled Clinical Care 101: Working With Transgender & Gender Nonbinary Clients, which was presented by Kristie Overstreet. It was a very informative talk for me, because I went in thinking I knew quite a lot about the subject, but found out how truly undereducated I am. She was extremely knowledgeable and must have said at least ten times during her presentation, "But we don't really have time to get into that here," which was equally frustrating and interesting. She would throw out these terms and abbreviations that I had never heard before, only to move on very quickly without much, or any, exposition. Needless to say, it was quite a good experience and has really given me a lot to think about and consider.

Anyway, sorry to come in and blurt out unrelated stuff, but I thought it was a happy coincidence that this topic has seen a lot of action lately.

And yes, Liz: truly inspiring. Very well done.

in what way is it inspiring?

i guess this is not the thread where you can question the question, though.

someone took courageous steps to change their life for the better. it's inspiring to anyone who has something in their life they would like to change, or to take control of. and who doesn't? and for most people nothing as huge or difficult.

seems obvious enough to me that imo your question asks more about the asker

yeah, what roberto said tbh

I'm a cisdude who's hesitant to let anyone know or see the real him just because he's a little left-of-center. Watching Liz so fearlessly (relatively speaking, I'm sure there's been lots of fear involved) jump into herself under such vastly different circumstances has been awe-inspiring.

self-realization is always inspiring to me! in general, getting to that place mentally is hard, and confronting.

but to tackle these big questions about your identity and to bring about your own, well, rebirth I guess?...that takes true determination & to me is the definition of courage.

it should always be celebrated imo.

Even though this has been answered thoroughly and completely, I will give my own personal answer anyway. Which is: the contemporary world is one where a lot of people are trained not to be honest with themselves, for fear of being ostracized once their identity matches their expression. A lot of people are forced into self-doubt and, in extreme cases, self-hate because of who they feel they are in their hearts and who they are trained they are "supposed" to be. That's a huge hurdle to overcome and it takes a lot of not easily accomplished traits to do so: honesty, courage, determination, etc.

And obviously, the type of self-realization that Liz has gone through is an inspiration because it's a very large scale change. If she can do it, despite all of those heavy challenges, I find it inspiring.

urg can i delete my post? austin you said it perfectly imo

i'd like to withdraw my very drunken posts, sorry. all the best to you, Eliza x

i dunno what it is that makes me such a rude drunk. not being a drunk would be a good start but it's not easy. all the best again and apologies.

HEAVEN PEGASUS @HEAVENPEGASUS. Why did the nonbinary prospector move West in 1849? Because there was gold in them/their hills.

it looks like this has been deleted, which is too bad because it's a pretty good joke tbh

My god

omg I’m getting caught up to this and I’m legit tearing, Liz I cannot even imagine the thrill and liberation you are feeling!!! How was Pride??

I feel UK ILX needs to hash out the terf wars properly tbh, too much is being unsaid

which thread?

xp this is probably not the best thread for it though, given that it's mostly folks posting about their own personal stuff rather than the wider political implications of 'trans' becoming a recognised/accepted category

soref otm

if he hadn't posted in this thread, I wouldn't know about the "wars" -- is it on UK politics thread?

FFS, people already have to live with hatred being spewed at them every day, why would you purposefully bring extra shit here? "As a person who has no real stake in this but wants to have a fight, I'm inviting people who want to curtail your human rights onto your thread, k everyone?"

oh, i saw it as the opposite, emil.y -- for people who can, er, properly school the terfs to come to the other thread and do so.

I'm only aware of one thread that exemplified why imago's idea is a terrible one.

and generally, I doubt anyone has actually ever changed their viewpoint as a result of reading an ILX thread?

i do not want to involuntarily encounter the uk ilx terf wars or whatever

if there are terfs on this website they can gtfo imo

xps. guardian thread iirc, this is definitely the wrong thread for that discussion.

there are and they can imo

if there are terfs on this website they can gtfo imo

― princess of hell (BradNelson), Tuesday, November 6, 2018 10:03 AM (one minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

fuck off terfs

oh, i saw it as the opposite, emil.y -- for people who can, er, properly school the terfs to come to the other thread and do so.

― sarahell

OK, yeah, that would be less of a ridiculously terrible idea, though I still feel like it's a bit presumptuous for imago to roll up like that (this may be my tiredness making me super-irascible, though).

I only saw one dodge post of "bothsiderism" on that other thread, I'll pop back in and keep an eye on it though, b/c TERFs can very much all fuck right off.

I doubt anyone has actually ever changed their viewpoint as a result of reading an ILX thread?

i have, but i think it was a food poll

I am the person being referred to. I’m not a terf but I did go through a phase of going down some weird rabbit holes on Twitter esp. when drinking. I apologise for that and wish all of you the very best.