The funniest joke in the world proved by science

Also: did nobody alert them to the existence of "My wife went on holiday to Poole"?

haha

Two cowboys walk into a roadhouse in Texas to wash the trail dust from
their throats. They stand at the bar, drinking a beer and talking about current
cattle prices.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to
cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the cowboys looks at her and says "Kin ya swaller?"

The woman shakes her head, No.

"Kin ya breathe?"

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head. The cowboy walks over to
the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her panties, and runs
his tongue all over her butt cheeks in a circular motion.

The woman is so shocked, that she has a violent spasm and the
obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the
cowboy walks slowly back to the bar and takes a drink from his beer.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there
"Hind Lick manoeuver" but I ain't never seen nobody do it".

I find this funny.

they laugh at jokes about monkeys=they are monkeys obv.

The thing is I really like that joke's uselessness, the monkey baby one is just boring.

'Sex no worse for the heart than walking upstairs'

hahaha

But this is a sign of a lack of a sense of humour, surely? If you have a sense of humour you can tell whether something is funny or not....

"My cat just died".

Klaus: "Hahahahahahaha!"

A Turtle is walking down an alley in New York when he is mugged by a gang of snails. A detective comes to investigate and asks the turtle what happened. The turtle looks confused and replies "I don't know, it all happened so fast".

"But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life."'

This is an excellent joke.

-- The most frequently submitted joke, at 300 times, was: "What's brown and sticky? A stick."

Researchers said no one ever found it funny.

I've always heard the punchline to that one as, "I FUCKING WISH YOU WOULD DIE, BITCH!"

[I didn't laugh at the Welsh one but think it is a nice joke and shows the Welsh in a good light]

Researchers said no one ever found it funny.

What?! It's hilarious!

Funny enough, but why in the hell are the characters weasels? Would the joke suffer any if they were, say, badgers? Or people?

I knew someone would say that one...

Top joke in Germany

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That's not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: “That's it.”

from http://www.laughlab.co.uk/topByCountry.html

What's the difference between a baby and a brick?
You can't eat a brick.

Absolutely Fabulous
The Vicar Of Dibley
Yes, Minister
The one about the retirement home, can't remember the name
Coupling
Father Ted
Monty Python
Fawlty Towers
Red Dwarf
Cracker
Inspector Morse
Monarch of the Glen
Trading Spaces
Ground Force
Coronation Street
Upstairs, Downstairs
Blake's 7
Doctor Who
Top Of The Pops
Whose Line Is It, Anyway?
Are You Being Served?
Keeping Up Appearances
The news
Waking The Dead
Eastenders
*insert name of British show here*

An inspired answer. Dan's list is of course incredibly accurate in general vis-a-vis Seinfeld, which was designed to make most of America wish to find Manhattan dwellers and abuse them.

Baldrick : Don't worry mister B, I have a cunning plan to solve the problem.

Blackadder : Yes Baldrick, let us not forget that you tried to solve the problem of your mother's low ceiling by cutting off her head.

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and one full of babies?

You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork!

A: He looks like he's six when his hair is wet.

Waiting for God? *smashes walking stick into feeding sparrows*

You didn't mention Black Books or the first three series of Drop the Dead Donkey, so I'm going to cry and everyone else is going to point and laugh at me for watching DTDD. Sniffle.