Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

(taps the sign)

“irrational” is part of the thread title. it’s not supposed to make sense

well i'm glad it's so easy for you. it's almost like not everyone on the irrationally embarrassed thread has difficulty with the same things.

if you have all day i can tell you about all the other basic tasks i have difficulty with

I also don’t like staring at my ugly mug in the mirror for a half hour. It’s like a conference call where I can’t hide the self portrait.

I legit have no idea what is embarrassing or difficult about this process, and nothing anyone is saying makes any sense

congratulations?

irrationally embarrassed by any well done haircut. taught myself to do it good enough to maintain a baseline scruffiness.

table's got some points. figuring out what "layered" and "tapered" means. knowing the difference between a 1/2" blade and a 1/4" blade.

Though I did go in last time and asked the guy what his shortest blade was going to be. When he answered "With a Two!", that kinda threw me.

I mean, I guess that I totally understand why people get irrationally embarrassed, but the remedy for this embarrassment is pretty easy to implement imho.

Pinterest is helpful for haircut examples to show your person.

The local community centre ran a hairdressing course that gave some info. Showed how to use a set of electric clippers and do basic fades and things. Not sure if UK would be similar. Kind of handy thing to have if you have the spare time.

I hate haircuts bc of the human interaction. Once there is a reliable haircut self-service robot, I will absolutely use it (just as I use self-checkout at stores even if it means waiting longer).

I don’t like going to the same person every time, and I also don’t like going to different ones each time. Two different kinds of uncomfortable.

Someone told me her salon offered (optional) no-talking services!! If that were available in my area, that would be a good stopgap until they perfect the robots.

I get my hair cut every month. I go to a shop owned and operated by a brother and sister. The brother cuts my hair. He's fast, good and entertaining. Plus, he is awesomely good at washing hair. I look at it almost as a spa treatment.

I just went to the dentist last week and I really like it bc it’s good maintenance and I like my dentist and his staff. I think the differences are: A) way less chatting and B)
the work is not a strictly subjective esthetic endeavor, the result of which, at best, is simply fine and inoffensive , but is sometimes pretty unsatisfactory. But I don’t complain about bc I don’t want to be there another second, so I go home and try to fix it up myself.

I want to get my hair cut every 4 weeks so I don’t look raggedy, but I usually go every 6-8 weeks bc I hate it so.

I have an iPhone notes log of every haircut going back to June 2011, with details about each. But it doesn’t help anybody.

I don’t know how to get an image on here anymore but here’s a taste

HAIRCUTS
3-3/4 guard on sides (1-3/4 on hairline) 1.25" in front top, 1" on back top

1/28/22 - Slades - Zoran

12/19/21 Elmer at Slades

10/??/21 somebody at Originals

[2020-2021 many buzz cuts at home]

2/5/20 Nicole at Originals

10/29/19 David

8/23/19 David 2” on top, fade up

5/21/19 David at Philip Di Ciminna Barber Shop buzz and fade at sides, 1.5” on top — left side close. $32

I always decline the free hot lather neck shave and scalp massage bc I want the fuck OUT OF THERE

In fact it sort of makes me irrationally embarrassed for all of you.

― we need outrage! we need dicks!! (the table is the table), Sunday, May 22, 2022 4:19 AM (twelve hours ago)

lol, go read some of your thousands of unread emails, T! <3

No

You all who have rules and put emails into separate folders and such are weird, what a complete waste of time

Dude, it's my form of yoga, ok. Putting emails in folders is meditative.

I have folders going back to 1995, feel free to judge me

One of the very few benefits of male pattern baldness is just going “2 guard around the whole head” at whatever place has a red and white pole

irrationally embarrassed for u, Whiney, that you can't just DIY ... it isn't like you are asking for a BLENDED HAIRCUT

irrationally embarrassed that you think $25 to ensure that the back of my head and my mustache/beard are even is somehow gonna make or break me

u coulda bought a lot of Garbage Pail Kids packs w/ that

irrationally embarrassed that you think $25 to ensure that the back of my head and my mustache/beard are even is somehow gonna make or break me

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Sunday, May 22, 2022 11:11 PM (two days ago)

nah, but you could buy more experimental bangers on bandcamp with that $$$

Finally decided on a salon here picked from looking at every single one on the internet, and...you can't call a phone number at the salon, the stylists are independent and you have to call their PERSONAL PHONE NUMBERS. Ugh anxiety/procrastination city.

Circumvented by Insta dm-ing one and texting the other.

ugh. i have to outright script what i'm going to say in those circumstances, so I would have done the same thing.

irrationally embarrassed that you think $25 to ensure that the back of my head and my mustache/beard are even is somehow gonna make or break me

To second WGW, if I can't even get a good look at the back of my head when I'm sitting in a chair in front of a full length mirror while holding a smaller mirror in front of me, how in the world would I be able to buzz the back of my head myself?

with #2 all over you can't go far wrong. it is kind of annoying to have to do it myself but i prefer it to going to a hairdressers, for all the reasons listed above plus being offered a coffee which you foolishly accept so then the guy goes off and takes five minutes to make it, leaving you wondering if you're going to get out of there before your lunch break is over, then he comes back with the coffee but you can't actually drink it because, y'know, you're having your hair cut, so then you have to gulp it in one when your haircut is finished even though it's somehow still boiling hot and because it's a turkish coffee you accidentally drink and too much and get hot bitter coffee grounds in your mouth.

though it's always intriguing to see what tricks the local turkish barbers will pull out even for the cheapest haircut. last time - the time of the coffee incident - it was flicking a burning taper at my ears.

irrationally embarrassed that you think $25 to ensure that the back of my head and my mustache/beard are even is somehow gonna make or break me

To second WGW, if I can't even get a good look at the back of my head when I'm sitting in a chair in front of a full length mirror while holding a smaller mirror in front of me, how in the world would I be able to buzz the back of my head myself?

― pplains, Tuesday, May 24, 2022 3:38 PM (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

trust your other senses

i'm sticking with doing it myself, no guard and as short as the clippers will go, because it feels good. HOWEVER i've decided i'm paying for a regular beard trim because reasons. it's sort of a compromise i guess.

given how unsteady my anxiety-hand is and how I've accidentally given myself a half-mustache due to that, I am not letting myself touch any hair besides my mustache and beard which I will still fuck up

trust your other senses

That deaf, dumb, and blind boy . . sure gives a mean haircut.

clippers, one setting, one movement, i guess if you have a shoulder injury it might be difficult?

also i wouldn't put it past a deaf dumb or blind person to potentially give an excellent haircut

finding out I share any interests with friends or family

trust your other senses

― the cat needs to start paying for its own cbd (map), Tuesday, May 24, 2022 8:52 AM (one hour ago)

otm! senses like ... touch! ... did I miss a patch at the back of my neck?

and sound haha. if clippers go bzz a little higher than they are shaving hair. go till the sound stops.

^^^ otm

with #2 all over you can't go far wrong.

Social awkwardness of the haircut is exacerbated by the WAIT, in old-school babrbers that don't take bookings. It's Saturday morning, I've got a powerful hangover and there are four guys in front of me. I've read the Mirror and last month's FHM, I should get up and leave, but no, that would be wasting the emotional commitment I've already made to be sitting there in the first place.

God, I used to hate going to the hairdressers. I had a stammer that was much more pronounced when I was a kid and the hairdressers was the perfect arena to intensify it: small talk, social anxieties with strangers, earnest young women, the strong sense of being isolated and observed. My issue was always 'W's and I could sit there for minutes at a time, blushing furiously, with a 'where/why' question stuck like a pebble in the antechamber of my mouth. I have a clear memory of being about 14, sitting in the chair with the little cloth cape around my neck, the hairdresser, a whirl of skin and perfume right there right there and my mum pressing a pound into my hand saying loudly 'give this to the lady'. The burning hole of shame is as fresh and livid as if it was yesterday.

So yeah, I grew my hair after that and got it cut professionally maybe twice? I skinned it in my mid-30s and now it's once a week, clippers with the guard off. I use a mirror for the front and my hands and ears to check the back.

whew chinaski that sounds awful. i have my complaints about barbers but didn't realize the extent to which they make so many people uncomfortable.

i went back to the "new guy" i found and he's perfect, the place is perfect. online appointments. music playing overhead is not great but not loud and ignorable. no small talk. he did a fantastic job on my beard trim / shave and used like 5 different products that smelled like cement but in a good way. when he did talk it was about what he was doing and he was very accurate in his questions / descriptions. pricey but worth it, somewhat reasonable for just the trim. why i'm posting this here i have no idea.

i guess i've gotten into the shave part and the hot towel and mini spa treatment, it's nice.

Oh, I love getting a barbershop shave. It is like a mini spa treatment. They always do a much better job than I ever do, and it feels damn good.

I got a haircut yesterday. I paid way too much and the haircut was not what I asked for but the conversation was really good.

i follow a lot of outdoors / national park / hiking / biking kinds of orgs on social media, and lately there is a push to make people aware that they should be packing out their feces in wag bags. which is great. but i'm a little embarrassed about how everyone loves poop humor online now, "funny" use of the poop emoji etc. i like poop humor!! part of the fun though is that it has to still be generally considered juvenile and inappropriate. and now it's like the internet has made it feel not like that and just another witty marketing campaign. another example of the internet ruining everything i guess.

POOP EMOJI was in the NYT crossword today

sorry

ah! bummer lol