Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

I’m 48 and I still can’t describe the kind of haircut I like other than “uh, shorter please?”

My dentist loves to chat while his fingers are in my mouth and his assistant is vacuuming up the excess saliva.

i say "surprise me"

tbh that’s not something I would say to my dentist

My barber used to tell me stories about his time in prison. He still wears his Latin Kings beads though he's pretty much out of the gang. I miss that dude, but I spent most of the pandemic shaving my head once a month and now I've decided to grow it long (just in time for the hot weather, ha ha) so I haven't touched it since November.

I get a little put out with how specific they want you to be in describing your haircut. I'm fairly bald, so it's not like I have tons of options, but for some reason saying I just want it all shorter is too vague.

yeah i get caught up w this too. i wish my hairdresser just kept a logbook of my last cut & i could say - do that

but i only go like once a year so i have to kind of reinvent the wheel describing the same cut i have been getting forever

I just say "Dana Scully circa 1998" every time, and it's never failed me.

hmm i guess “nineties butch lesbian” is my goto

I’m a little confused by how confused some of you seem by getting a haircut.

In fact it sort of makes me irrationally embarrassed for all of you.

"When he wasn’t ranting on a public platform, Enoch Powell was a man of few words. Asked by Stephen, the notoriously gabby House of Commons barber, how he’d like to have his hair cut, the ice-cold Tory replied: “In silence.”"
― Let them eat Pfifferlinge an Schneckensauce (Tom D.), Thursday, 19 September 2019 14:15 (two years ago) bookmarkflaglink

... oops didn't mean to put all of that in quotes.

re haircuts.
Surely you can keep a log of what has worked for you before. Take a selfie or get a friend to. That and possibly add in any new developments you are interested in. Put it somewhere you can access from your phone or send to your phone. & show the hairdresser when you seen them. If something like that is going to influence your hairdresser which isn't necessarily guaranteed

Haircuts and dentists are stressful and vulnerable situations if you're severely short-sighted and have to take your glasses off. Encounters with both are usually a reminder of how much I need to see the other person in order to properly 'hear' what they are saying.

yeah i have the same thing! once i take my glasses off my brain goes to sleep because i can't see 6 inches in front of me. i am also very bad at decisions and hate them so the first minute of "what are we doing" is agonizing. just do something i don't care let me get out of here.

Slightly layered on top with a fade from a 1 on the sides, this lingo isn’t that hard to pick up, I also wear glasses?!? I legit have no idea what is embarrassing or difficult about this process, and nothing anyone is saying makes any sense— if you want to know how ti have your hair cut, the next time you go in, ask them what they’re doing. It doesn’t take long, and from my experience, many actually like showing you or telling you how they’re doing what they’re doing.

Tbh a lot of this seems to be about class anxiety and asking someone to do something “elemental” for you. But that’s their job, and as others have mentioned, it’s not like remuneration is poor for a lot of barbershops or salons.

(taps the sign)

“irrational” is part of the thread title. it’s not supposed to make sense

well i'm glad it's so easy for you. it's almost like not everyone on the irrationally embarrassed thread has difficulty with the same things.

if you have all day i can tell you about all the other basic tasks i have difficulty with

I also don’t like staring at my ugly mug in the mirror for a half hour. It’s like a conference call where I can’t hide the self portrait.

I legit have no idea what is embarrassing or difficult about this process, and nothing anyone is saying makes any sense

congratulations?

irrationally embarrassed by any well done haircut. taught myself to do it good enough to maintain a baseline scruffiness.

table's got some points. figuring out what "layered" and "tapered" means. knowing the difference between a 1/2" blade and a 1/4" blade.

Though I did go in last time and asked the guy what his shortest blade was going to be. When he answered "With a Two!", that kinda threw me.

I mean, I guess that I totally understand why people get irrationally embarrassed, but the remedy for this embarrassment is pretty easy to implement imho.

Pinterest is helpful for haircut examples to show your person.

The local community centre ran a hairdressing course that gave some info. Showed how to use a set of electric clippers and do basic fades and things. Not sure if UK would be similar. Kind of handy thing to have if you have the spare time.

I hate haircuts bc of the human interaction. Once there is a reliable haircut self-service robot, I will absolutely use it (just as I use self-checkout at stores even if it means waiting longer).

I don’t like going to the same person every time, and I also don’t like going to different ones each time. Two different kinds of uncomfortable.

Someone told me her salon offered (optional) no-talking services!! If that were available in my area, that would be a good stopgap until they perfect the robots.

I get my hair cut every month. I go to a shop owned and operated by a brother and sister. The brother cuts my hair. He's fast, good and entertaining. Plus, he is awesomely good at washing hair. I look at it almost as a spa treatment.

I just went to the dentist last week and I really like it bc it’s good maintenance and I like my dentist and his staff. I think the differences are: A) way less chatting and B)
the work is not a strictly subjective esthetic endeavor, the result of which, at best, is simply fine and inoffensive , but is sometimes pretty unsatisfactory. But I don’t complain about bc I don’t want to be there another second, so I go home and try to fix it up myself.

I want to get my hair cut every 4 weeks so I don’t look raggedy, but I usually go every 6-8 weeks bc I hate it so.

I have an iPhone notes log of every haircut going back to June 2011, with details about each. But it doesn’t help anybody.

I don’t know how to get an image on here anymore but here’s a taste

HAIRCUTS
3-3/4 guard on sides (1-3/4 on hairline) 1.25" in front top, 1" on back top

1/28/22 - Slades - Zoran

12/19/21 Elmer at Slades

10/??/21 somebody at Originals

[2020-2021 many buzz cuts at home]

2/5/20 Nicole at Originals

10/29/19 David

8/23/19 David 2” on top, fade up

5/21/19 David at Philip Di Ciminna Barber Shop buzz and fade at sides, 1.5” on top — left side close. $32

I always decline the free hot lather neck shave and scalp massage bc I want the fuck OUT OF THERE

In fact it sort of makes me irrationally embarrassed for all of you.

― we need outrage! we need dicks!! (the table is the table), Sunday, May 22, 2022 4:19 AM (twelve hours ago)

lol, go read some of your thousands of unread emails, T! <3

No

You all who have rules and put emails into separate folders and such are weird, what a complete waste of time

Dude, it's my form of yoga, ok. Putting emails in folders is meditative.

I have folders going back to 1995, feel free to judge me

One of the very few benefits of male pattern baldness is just going “2 guard around the whole head” at whatever place has a red and white pole

irrationally embarrassed for u, Whiney, that you can't just DIY ... it isn't like you are asking for a BLENDED HAIRCUT

irrationally embarrassed that you think $25 to ensure that the back of my head and my mustache/beard are even is somehow gonna make or break me

u coulda bought a lot of Garbage Pail Kids packs w/ that

irrationally embarrassed that you think $25 to ensure that the back of my head and my mustache/beard are even is somehow gonna make or break me

― Whiney G. Weingarten, Sunday, May 22, 2022 11:11 PM (two days ago)

nah, but you could buy more experimental bangers on bandcamp with that $$$

Finally decided on a salon here picked from looking at every single one on the internet, and...you can't call a phone number at the salon, the stylists are independent and you have to call their PERSONAL PHONE NUMBERS. Ugh anxiety/procrastination city.

Circumvented by Insta dm-ing one and texting the other.

ugh. i have to outright script what i'm going to say in those circumstances, so I would have done the same thing.

irrationally embarrassed that you think $25 to ensure that the back of my head and my mustache/beard are even is somehow gonna make or break me

To second WGW, if I can't even get a good look at the back of my head when I'm sitting in a chair in front of a full length mirror while holding a smaller mirror in front of me, how in the world would I be able to buzz the back of my head myself?

with #2 all over you can't go far wrong. it is kind of annoying to have to do it myself but i prefer it to going to a hairdressers, for all the reasons listed above plus being offered a coffee which you foolishly accept so then the guy goes off and takes five minutes to make it, leaving you wondering if you're going to get out of there before your lunch break is over, then he comes back with the coffee but you can't actually drink it because, y'know, you're having your hair cut, so then you have to gulp it in one when your haircut is finished even though it's somehow still boiling hot and because it's a turkish coffee you accidentally drink and too much and get hot bitter coffee grounds in your mouth.

though it's always intriguing to see what tricks the local turkish barbers will pull out even for the cheapest haircut. last time - the time of the coffee incident - it was flicking a burning taper at my ears.

irrationally embarrassed that you think $25 to ensure that the back of my head and my mustache/beard are even is somehow gonna make or break me

To second WGW, if I can't even get a good look at the back of my head when I'm sitting in a chair in front of a full length mirror while holding a smaller mirror in front of me, how in the world would I be able to buzz the back of my head myself?

― pplains, Tuesday, May 24, 2022 3:38 PM (eight minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

trust your other senses

i'm sticking with doing it myself, no guard and as short as the clippers will go, because it feels good. HOWEVER i've decided i'm paying for a regular beard trim because reasons. it's sort of a compromise i guess.

given how unsteady my anxiety-hand is and how I've accidentally given myself a half-mustache due to that, I am not letting myself touch any hair besides my mustache and beard which I will still fuck up