Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

I have to say I'm kind of happy these exist when I'm trying to figure out how to play something.

Well yeah.

I wish they'd flip the mirror mode, so they appeared left-handed (if they're IRL right-handed.)

I've probably had more fun playing along with Paul McCartney than anyone else, not so much just because he's an above-average bassist, but because I can follow along with him like I'm looking into a mirror.

I don't really get embarrassed by music instructional videos or even necessarily playing, there's just something specifically about those same dude/chick playing all the instruments overdubbed that gets me, like you're watching an adult compete in a school talent show or something. I mean I can't really talk shit about it because I post bullshit clips of me noodling on guitar to instagram and they're probably even more embarrassing.

It's not 100%-cringe free, that's for sure.

Worst ones are when the same person wears different shirts for each instrument.

"signature model" musical instruments. I paid a premium to play a guitar that was custom-designed for someone else.

look man if it's good enough for dimebag darrell it's good enough for you

Author bios written in the third person by the author themselves

If you're ever asked to write a bio in third-person, just say "XXX is a writer who lives in blahblah. In his spare time, he enjoys tennis." Don't even think about using the term "brain-crush".

Even if you don't play tennis.

― pplains, Thursday, June 14, 2012 8:59 AM

they make us do that for theatre bios. I hate them. i usually write something self-deprecating and then thank a random celebrity

"Neanderthal has acted in 21 plays at the ~theater~ and has been a performer in central Florida for over 20 years. In his spare time, he enjoys tennis."

There. Just add to the numbers and you don't have to worry about it anymore.

also said I was ranked #1 globally, I think I went a bridge too far.

Well yeah. I've never even seen you at Wimbledon.

Yes. Plain fact bios in the third person are fine, but "quirky" ones make me wanna die from embarrassment

Wasn’t it Tim Rice who never changed his, in the more contemporary programme for Evita, whereas ALW updated and lengthened his?

when the local weather service says "on tap," as in "another cold night on tap." it's such a silly metaphor!

the heat’s gonna tap out on Wednesday

people going "LET'S GOOOOO" in social media comments. you're posting online, it isn't a fucking action movie.

i feel like it's time to call this thread what it deserves to be called -- thread for cringe

mid- and post-credits scenes

LL otm

saying "let's gooooo" in the fashion implied here is a terrible thing that's happened to the english language

kamala harris

I don't really get embarrassed by music instructional videos

There is only one music instructional video that I need in my life and it is this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_8iD5xS1hI

lol lol lol lol / lol lol lol lol lol / lol lol lol lol

I actually was seriously thinking about this, like, is he gonna suggest you subdivide into three measures - 4, 5, 4 or 4, 4, 5 or ... years back I was in this experimental rock orchestra piece where the composer (who was self-taught) had a movement in 11/4 and it didn't really work out the way he intended. It was actually hilarious tbh ... because musicians in different sections cleverly suggested that we subdivide into 3, 4, and 4 ... but then couldn't agree whether it should be 3, 4, 4 or 4, 3, 4 ... based on how their section's part was written.

Yeah, realistically, if given a piece like that I won't be counting, I will just be memorizing the tune and playing something that goes with it.

Back when I played jazz, people would give me advice about how to count a five or seven or thirteen or whatever and I'd nod sagely, say "yeah, got it." When the music started I would just do some amorphous brushing until the pulse became clear, then suss out some kind of ostinato that worked.

My college band played "Take Five" for years and I confess I never once counted to five. I'd just be singing "doo doot-doot-doodly-doodly doo doo" silently in my head the whole time.

yeah, I think that's the smart way to go with those jazz gigs tbh ... I got nerdy enough about it to be able to count to five if needed, but musically, it would often sound stronger and tighter if I broke 5 out into 3 and 2. ... unless the piece was something where it would go from 6/8 to 5/8 ... but that was really just 1-and-2-and-3-and so ...

I bow to your superior nerdery, sarahell.

Nowadays I am mostly on mandolin; everything's a multiple of four. When I try to break it down and explain it to someone, it just gets mushy. It is mostly a matter of finding the pulse, then putting accents where they make sense. If you're counting, you're probably lost.

I'm so cringey I got hospitalised for it. I was put on the awk ward

the phrase "you got this!" / "i got this!" makes me want to commit seppuku

agree

i see my embarrassment at this language use as entirely rational tbh ... the people whose use of it tends to make me cringe have "personas" that seem fake in other ways, like they are afraid to be authentic and use words and phrases that are what they are actually thinking

https://i.imgur.com/A73jWyA.gif

ads that mention The Big Game because they’re not licensed to use the term Super Bowl

agred, also "superb owl" was funny exactly once, like 8 years ago, and repeating it does not help

wasn't even funny once

my dad always calls it the Stupor Bowl and i laugh every time

Superduper Bowl needs to make a comeback

"The commercials are the best part!"

They should put the Puppy Bowl on network television!

the phrase "you got this!" / "i got this!" makes me want to commit seppuku

― Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Tuesday, 18 January 2022 02:43 (two weeks ago) link

agree

― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 18 January 2022 03:21 (two weeks ago) link

If you do, I will be there mouthing *you got this* as you do it

lol

"first world problems"

getting a haircut, especially at a new place:
* having to somehow explain in words what haircut you want "buh shorter on the sides and longer on the top?"
* being a captive audience for small talk with a stranger
* acting really impressed and appreciative when they show you the haircut, especially when they give you the little mirror that you have to figure out how to aim correctly to see the back of your own head "yeah that looks great! thanks! that looks good! uh huh ... looks good"

oh and then obviously having just gotten a haircut for the next few days. just call me mr. haircut i guess. "somebody got a haircut!"

lately, any time I open my stupid mouth and show any enthusiasm

<3 neanderthal, be kind to yourself!! <3

NA OTM.

"So what kind of work do you do?" or "Where do you work?" I mean, I do suppose I already know those answers about the guy who's asking, but still.

tbh this is part of the reason I have cut my own hair for the past 30 years ... though I think if I had to go get my hair cut by someone at a shop, I feel like I would want the same treatment as at the dentist ... give me something to knock me out temporarily, then wake me up when it's over.

I always feel awkward getting my hair cut, and am mostly silent during the experience unless I’m chatted with. Part of it is not being apt at small talk, but I also figure it this way: the hairdresser probably has to gab with clients all day, whether they want to or not, since a perception of friendliness affects their tip. So maybe they’d appreciate a break where they can just focus on doing their job, rather than have a fifth variation of “got any plans this weekend". (A friend of mine was a waiter for years and would always tell me how she hated having to laugh at dumb jokes, flirts etc just to earn a tip.)

na otm, I will say that having a barber that can naturally draw me into a conversation without the fake, forced small talk made me feel way less self-conscious and awkward during the cut

the hairdresser probably has to gab with clients all day, whether they want to or not, since a perception of friendliness affects their tip. So maybe they’d appreciate a break where they can just focus on doing their job, rather than have a fifth variation of “got any plans this weekend".

otm