Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

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Being given tasters by enthusiastic barstaff, shopkeepers etc. It's to do with having to give an opinion again, I suppose. Can anyone really tell how much they will enjoy a pint of beer by trying a thimbleful of it first? I can't.

fetter, Friday, 20 September 2019 14:11 (one year ago) link

Being sold anything can be vaguely embarrassing if you let it

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 20 September 2019 14:16 (one year ago) link

xxp Ukuleles have become inherently embarrassing and are only acceptable when played by Labi Siffre or actual Hawaiians

frame casual (dog latin), Friday, 20 September 2019 14:23 (one year ago) link

oh yeah TT goes without saying

frame casual (dog latin), Friday, 20 September 2019 15:20 (one year ago) link

and Magnetic Fields are good for a grandfather clause

The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 20 September 2019 15:31 (one year ago) link

It's not the ukes, it's the people that sing in an affected, breathy, pseudo-30s jazz club voice while playing them

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Friday, 20 September 2019 17:40 (one year ago) link

^this

Our Borad Could Be Your Trife (James Redd and the Blecchs), Friday, 20 September 2019 17:55 (one year ago) link

Would like to hear some uke in Dirty South rap

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Friday, 20 September 2019 17:58 (one year ago) link

Careful what you ask for!

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 20 September 2019 18:01 (one year ago) link

uke aren't handle the truth

Fox Pithole Britain (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 September 2019 18:03 (one year ago) link

O ye who wish to exonerate ukuleles, look no further than the 'Deep Water' -> 'Machine Gun' sequence on Portishead's Third.

pomenitul, Friday, 20 September 2019 18:06 (one year ago) link

haircuts are definitely embarrassing. the worst was the couple of times i went to this hipster revival barbershop with heavily bearded dudes with slicked-back hair talking about game of thrones while they cut your hair in a room covered in vintage cigarette ads and motorcycle paraphernalia.

― na (NA), Thursday, September 19, 2019 7:21 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

was this some Floyd's Barbershop type joint?

omar little, Friday, 20 September 2019 18:07 (one year ago) link

Taste of peepee on his lips

When I am afraid, I put my toast in you (Neanderthal), Friday, 20 September 2019 18:25 (one year ago) link

haircuts are definitely embarrassing. the worst was the couple of times i went to this hipster revival barbershop with heavily bearded dudes with slicked-back hair talking about game of thrones while they cut your hair in a room covered in vintage cigarette ads and motorcycle paraphernalia.

― na (NA), Thursday, September 19, 2019 7:21 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

was this some Floyd's Barbershop type joint?

― omar little, Friday, September 20, 2019 1:07 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

irving park barbershop (which i think has moved across the street since i went there), but basically yeah

na (NA), Friday, 20 September 2019 18:31 (one year ago) link

I was all, what the hell are they talking about? Looked it up and fuckall, someone had to go and ruin the Andy Griffith Show for me.

pplains, Saturday, 21 September 2019 00:07 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

When a podcaster or radio host (or even a cheap documentary presenter) starts reading a quote and switches their tone from "informative but casual and friendly" to "dramatic movie scene voice" - it really makes me wince whenever I hear it and I hope they can please all stop doing it immediately, even Dan Carlin's horrible "QUOTE... ...ENDQUOTE" is better.

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 6 October 2019 20:16 (one year ago) link

Q&As.

Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Monday, 7 October 2019 08:44 (one year ago) link

"The most IE feeling of all time is definitely that moment when the haircut is finished and you have to look in the mirror and the give your judgment as the haircutter smiles at you in the mirror ― Sally Jessy (Karl Malone), Thursday, 19 September 2019 15:09 (two weeks ago)"

This happened to me, this very morning, so I can relate. Part of me wants to say something witty such as "not bad" or "you've done this before" or "you shaved a bit too much off the top hahaha!", or "does the girl come with the car?" but although hairdressers are probably more attuned to hip meme-style humour on account of being young and fashionable I suspect that I'm not as funny as I think I am. Why do I feel the need to get laughs? Fear, fear and weakness.

And resentment. As the years go by I empathise with Richard Nixon even more. The reason I had a haircut is because at 18:40 tonight I'm stepping on a flight to Hong Kong - I booked it months ago - and what could go wrong? If I say "not bad" I'm worried that the hairdresser will think I'm being sarcastic. If I say "you've done this before" they might also think I'm being sarcastic, when in fact I genuinely like the haircut, or at least I'm not actively displeased. I have a number four all over. It's binary, it's either short or not, it doesn't have a qualitative aspect.

If I say "you've shaved a bit too much off the top there" then yes it's a joke - I have a bald patch, ho ho - but they might think it's a genuine complaint, in which case they're probably going to say "that's because you have a bald patch", with "you prick" added at the end in a quiet voice.

To make things worse I didn't have any cash on me. I've emptied my wallet in anticipation of going to Hong Kong. I have an Octopus card but that's no use on this side of the world, so I had to nip around the corner to get some money out of the cashpoint. A long time ago that would have been embarrassing beyond belief but at my age all the nerve endings close to my skin have been ground away so I feel nothing.

Going to the hairdresser isn't really irrationally embarrassing though. Everybody is embarrassed. The entire process is designed to be awkward. Where I go you can't tell if it's full or not until you walk in - so I walk in, scan the bench, and then awkwardly turn around and walk out if it's too full, with all the people looking at me as if to say "is this place not good enough for you, you Tory? Are we beneath you?".

Also, when I'm sitting in the chair, with the towel over my body, does the hairdresser think I'm masturbating? I'm not, but at least one person in Wiltshire must get a sexual thrill from masturbating covertly whilst having a haircut. It's a rare opportunity to have a total stranger massage your head in an innocent setting. As a consequence I make a show of flicking the bits of hair onto the floor. So that it's obvious that my hands are doing something else. That's why.

Ashley Pomeroy, Monday, 7 October 2019 10:29 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

Reading a book in public that has just won a prize.

It’s completely dumb and I can only see it as based on some unpleasant attitudes. And yet..

Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 20:12 (one year ago) link

what book?

Seany's too Dyche to mention (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 20:15 (one year ago) link

Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead

Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Tuesday, 22 October 2019 21:11 (one year ago) link

You might get some really smug looks from Tokarczuk diehards.

A related embarrasment: being caught reading a book that has the movie adaptation image as the front cover instead of the original innocuous cover.

Sam Weller, Wednesday, 23 October 2019 14:36 (one year ago) link

eheh good one !

AlXTC from Paris, Wednesday, 23 October 2019 15:05 (one year ago) link

"Yes and no, " says the colleague, beginning his 5-minute explanation of why yes AND no

at home in the alternate future, (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 17:54 (one year ago) link

it's not the saying of it that causes the awkward feeling, it's the reaction among me and other colleagues. i am conditioned to subtly emote a quiet "heh" or slightly audible movement of breath at the "yes and no" intro

at home in the alternate future, (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 17:55 (one year ago) link

When you're on a bus and the driver crawls forward three quarters of the way through an intersection but is stopped by traffic in front, blocking a pedestrian crossing and not being able to move anywhere, so as a passenger you feel embarrassed and guilty and sorry even though it has nothing to do with you

vanjie wail (qiqing), Tuesday, 5 November 2019 22:49 (one year ago) link

Minutes silence

kraudive, Monday, 11 November 2019 11:02 (one year ago) link

ordering the first round

June Pointer’s Valentine’s Day Secret Admirer Note Author (calstars), Monday, 11 November 2019 12:58 (one year ago) link

I got caught in a minutes silence while on my way to a departure gate at Heathrow once, only the Brits were taking any notice of it so I tried to look foreign while actually observing the silence cos I wasn't feeling talkative anyway. The whole thing was an embarrassment for the entire airport tbh, esp since it was probably honouring the war dead who'd perished while bombing some of the passengers' ancestors.

Cornelius Fondue (Matt #2), Monday, 11 November 2019 13:07 (one year ago) link

Minute (or more) silences in open plan offices or indeed major public spaces are excruciating and ridiculous.

nashwan, Monday, 11 November 2019 14:29 (one year ago) link

Waiting to use the only hand dryer in a public toilet when I've finished washing my hands

lefal junglist platton (wtev), Friday, 15 November 2019 15:22 (one year ago) link

And...drying your hands while someone waits.

Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Friday, 15 November 2019 18:18 (one year ago) link

Minute (or more) silences in open plan offices or indeed major public spaces are excruciating and ridiculous.

― nashwan, Monday, November 11, 2019 6:29 AM (four days ago) bookmarkflaglink

had a daft bastard of an ops manager once who, despite the fact that we were in a huge open plan office and the fact that no one was talking for once was extremely noticeable, tried to make a phone call to elsewhere in the office during the silence, then vocally bemoaned the colleague for not picking up. then ventured some sort of small talk to the group of us who were seated nearby, then was like "yous are awfy quiet". all this while people were giving him looks.

this didn't make me embarrassed mind you, thought it was fucking hilarious and was trying not to laugh

-_- (jim in vancouver), Friday, 15 November 2019 18:23 (one year ago) link

I mean, in these situations it does become like a very tense game of sleeping lions

YOU CALL THIS JOURNALSIM? (dog latin), Friday, 15 November 2019 18:25 (one year ago) link

two weeks pass...

When a taxi shows up and you're standing outside your apartment building but it's not for you and the person that ordered it isn't ready and waiting

vanjie wail (qiqing), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 05:37 (eleven months ago) link

i find getting taxis irrationally embarrassing altogether and only ever catch them at the behest of other people or if I've a serious amount of luggage and need to get somewhere quickly

YOU CALL THIS JOURNALSIM? (dog latin), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 14:27 (eleven months ago) link

How about trying to get into what you think is your Lyft/Uber car but it's just someone's regular car

Josefa, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 14:35 (eleven months ago) link

^^^ that’s legitimately rationally embarrassing

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 14:46 (eleven months ago) link

^^^ I have done this. Ironically the guy *was* an uber driver, but was not actually working then, just waiting to pick his wife up.

I was not his wife.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 15:01 (eleven months ago) link

The new black cabs in London have a clearer rooftop sign that in bright sunny weather can look on when it isn't (as the orange LEDs reflect sunlight better than previous design) so a few months back I asked a driver in traffic if he could take me somewhere only for it to be pointed out there was indeed already a passenger in the back. I can just about tell the difference now.

nashwan, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 15:04 (eleven months ago) link

How about trying to get into what you think is your Lyft/Uber car but it's just someone's regular car

A co-worker of mine did this in Dallas a few years ago.

We were all, "Chris, our driver is over here." He hopped out, saw what was up, and said to the civilian driver "I swear it was because you both have blue Toyota Camrys!"

And then, turning an awkward situation into something even more cringey, "...not because both of you are black!"

pplains, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 15:39 (eleven months ago) link

i was waiting to meet someone in the detroit airport rideshare pickup area a few months ago and it was just chaos -- riders getting into the wrong cars, drivers blocking traffic to bellow peoples' names, etc. i was embarrassed for our culture

mookieproof, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 15:39 (eleven months ago) link

there are just too many Toyota Camrys on the road, how am I supposed to know which is which

Josefa, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 15:44 (eleven months ago) link

when my rail ticket fails to work the turnstyle barrier at height of rush hour

In space, pizza sends out for YOU (Ste), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 15:45 (eleven months ago) link

er, turn STILE

In space, pizza sends out for YOU (Ste), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 15:46 (eleven months ago) link

When I try to use my public transit card to access my work premises

calstars, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 15:47 (eleven months ago) link

Is there a Rideshare pickup that truly works well? I haven't had issues at airports, but arenas/stadiums, experienced exactly what you described. Nobody able to find each other, thirty minute queues, pedestrians milling about aimlessly trying to find their driver, drivers giving up.

Took me 30 mins to find my driver after a friendly soccer match at Hard Rock Stadium. And after seeing Iron Maiden, had two drivers cancel on me, and as I started to get anxious about not getting back to my hotel, the third actually showed up (saw his license plate number matched). Put my hand on the door, and yet he sped away without letting me get in.

Drunkenly wrote an email to Uber saying OMG FUCK THIS MOTHERFUCKING DRIVER and finally got a driver to show up on 4th try

Jordan Pickford LOLverdrive (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 15:48 (eleven months ago) link

I always check the license plate against what Uber says it is as I'm afraid of accidentally car-jacking an innocent motorist

Jordan Pickford LOLverdrive (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 15:48 (eleven months ago) link

Double posting.

Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 18:47 (eleven months ago) link


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