Innocuous things that make you irrationally embarrassed

RE: Tour de Cuts

We are now offering a $20 cash bonus to anyone in Finance who will take advantage of the free haircut offer. Particularly those who sit on the 4th floor's North suite.

fuck being told to get a haircut in such a passive aggressive way
that would make me want a free haircut even less than i did before

I would take the convenient bang trim tbh

I'd bring in my dog.

haircuts in general make me IE - having to tell the barber what I want, giving my opinion on it once it's finished. once a month for the past 35 years and i still don't really know what to say. i don't even like having it done in places where I'm visible from the street; in the office is almost too much to bear.

omg it's only turkish hairdressers round here, i've been to two different ones and despite only wanting a #3 all over and saying 'make it quick i'm on my lunch break' i've been subjected to the full hot towel treatment, head massage, multiple products needlessly rubbed into my barely there anymore hair; once i mistakenly asked for a shave too and for some reason this meant i also got to have my face covered in clay before being swaddled and then ignored for five minutes. absolutely mortifying, never again.

haircuts in general make me IE - having to tell the barber what I want, giving my opinion on it once it's finished. once a month for the past 35 years and i still don't really know what to say. i don't even like having it done in places where I'm visible from the streetp

this is why my hair is horribly unkempt right now, don't even wanna have to talk to a barber, don't wanna be rude just don't have it in me

just been in Aldi and the staff were in super cheery friendly mood and i'm in my head like "that's great, everybody's enjoying themselves, please don't talk to me please don't talk to me"

haircuts make me IE.

most barbershops (serving white clientele) make me RA.

just back from lunchtime haircut (my own pate obv not requiring much attn bar clearing scrub) and it was grand rly

i like the physical bit of it tbf

I usually let my hair grow long, like shoulder-length, then buzz it to about a quarter inch. its such a weird physical sensation stepping outside for the first time afterwards

haircuts in general make me IE - having to tell the barber what I want, giving my opinion on it once it's finished. once a month for the past 35 years and i still don't really know what to say. i don't even like having it done in places where I'm visible from the street; in the office is almost too much to bear.

― fetter, Thursday, September 19, 2019 2:35 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

Never had a clue either, and it was trial and error but I finally found a woman who understands "short but not too short" exactly the way I mean it.

Then again I only have to go once every 6 months or so. My fresh short do will evolve into an ok longer-ish do over the course of six months.

The most IE feeling of all time is definitely that moment when the haircut is finished and you have to look in the mirror and the give your judgment as the haircutter smiles at you in the mirror

It’s like “get meeeee outta here!” yeeeeek

When he wasn’t ranting on a public platform, Enoch Powell was a man of few words. Asked by Stephen, the notoriously gabby House of Commons barber, how he’d like to have his hair cut, the ice-cold Tory replied: “In silence.”

haircuts are definitely embarrassing. the worst was the couple of times i went to this hipster revival barbershop with heavily bearded dudes with slicked-back hair talking about game of thrones while they cut your hair in a room covered in vintage cigarette ads and motorcycle paraphernalia.

Incidentally I had a haircut just last week, and again noticed how awful and IE I find it to look into a barbershop mirror. It's like they're completely different and way more warped (or way closer to the 'truth' :-/) than other mirrors. You'd expect those mirror to be 'nicer' to look in, but the contrary applies. ymmv

truth bomb

really nothing worse at the end of a haircut than giving the barber a little wink-wink while unbutting your pants before realizing it's not *that* kind of barbershop

.. what?

you heard me

for a second I was wondering why your barber gave you pants in addition to the cape

Large groups of adults playing ukuleles in unison

Being given tasters by enthusiastic barstaff, shopkeepers etc. It's to do with having to give an opinion again, I suppose. Can anyone really tell how much they will enjoy a pint of beer by trying a thimbleful of it first? I can't.

Being sold anything can be vaguely embarrassing if you let it

xxp Ukuleles have become inherently embarrassing and are only acceptable when played by Labi Siffre or actual Hawaiians

Not just hold on a minute there...

http://photos.geni.com/p13/b6/05/e9/74/53444839fb6b4fb9/tiny-tim_original.jpg

oh yeah TT goes without saying

and Magnetic Fields are good for a grandfather clause

It's not the ukes, it's the people that sing in an affected, breathy, pseudo-30s jazz club voice while playing them

^this

Would like to hear some uke in Dirty South rap

Careful what you ask for!

uke aren't handle the truth

O ye who wish to exonerate ukuleles, look no further than the 'Deep Water' -> 'Machine Gun' sequence on Portishead's Third.

haircuts are definitely embarrassing. the worst was the couple of times i went to this hipster revival barbershop with heavily bearded dudes with slicked-back hair talking about game of thrones while they cut your hair in a room covered in vintage cigarette ads and motorcycle paraphernalia.

― na (NA), Thursday, September 19, 2019 7:21 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

was this some Floyd's Barbershop type joint?

Taste of peepee on his lips

haircuts are definitely embarrassing. the worst was the couple of times i went to this hipster revival barbershop with heavily bearded dudes with slicked-back hair talking about game of thrones while they cut your hair in a room covered in vintage cigarette ads and motorcycle paraphernalia.

― na (NA), Thursday, September 19, 2019 7:21 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

was this some Floyd's Barbershop type joint?

― omar little, Friday, September 20, 2019 1:07 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

irving park barbershop (which i think has moved across the street since i went there), but basically yeah

I was all, what the hell are they talking about? Looked it up and fuckall, someone had to go and ruin the Andy Griffith Show for me.

When a podcaster or radio host (or even a cheap documentary presenter) starts reading a quote and switches their tone from "informative but casual and friendly" to "dramatic movie scene voice" - it really makes me wince whenever I hear it and I hope they can please all stop doing it immediately, even Dan Carlin's horrible "QUOTE... ...ENDQUOTE" is better.

Q&As.

"The most IE feeling of all time is definitely that moment when the haircut is finished and you have to look in the mirror and the give your judgment as the haircutter smiles at you in the mirror ― Sally Jessy (Karl Malone), Thursday, 19 September 2019 15:09 (two weeks ago)"

This happened to me, this very morning, so I can relate. Part of me wants to say something witty such as "not bad" or "you've done this before" or "you shaved a bit too much off the top hahaha!", or "does the girl come with the car?" but although hairdressers are probably more attuned to hip meme-style humour on account of being young and fashionable I suspect that I'm not as funny as I think I am. Why do I feel the need to get laughs? Fear, fear and weakness.

And resentment. As the years go by I empathise with Richard Nixon even more. The reason I had a haircut is because at 18:40 tonight I'm stepping on a flight to Hong Kong - I booked it months ago - and what could go wrong? If I say "not bad" I'm worried that the hairdresser will think I'm being sarcastic. If I say "you've done this before" they might also think I'm being sarcastic, when in fact I genuinely like the haircut, or at least I'm not actively displeased. I have a number four all over. It's binary, it's either short or not, it doesn't have a qualitative aspect.

If I say "you've shaved a bit too much off the top there" then yes it's a joke - I have a bald patch, ho ho - but they might think it's a genuine complaint, in which case they're probably going to say "that's because you have a bald patch", with "you prick" added at the end in a quiet voice.

To make things worse I didn't have any cash on me. I've emptied my wallet in anticipation of going to Hong Kong. I have an Octopus card but that's no use on this side of the world, so I had to nip around the corner to get some money out of the cashpoint. A long time ago that would have been embarrassing beyond belief but at my age all the nerve endings close to my skin have been ground away so I feel nothing.

Going to the hairdresser isn't really irrationally embarrassing though. Everybody is embarrassed. The entire process is designed to be awkward. Where I go you can't tell if it's full or not until you walk in - so I walk in, scan the bench, and then awkwardly turn around and walk out if it's too full, with all the people looking at me as if to say "is this place not good enough for you, you Tory? Are we beneath you?".

Also, when I'm sitting in the chair, with the towel over my body, does the hairdresser think I'm masturbating? I'm not, but at least one person in Wiltshire must get a sexual thrill from masturbating covertly whilst having a haircut. It's a rare opportunity to have a total stranger massage your head in an innocent setting. As a consequence I make a show of flicking the bits of hair onto the floor. So that it's obvious that my hands are doing something else. That's why.

Reading a book in public that has just won a prize.

It’s completely dumb and I can only see it as based on some unpleasant attitudes. And yet..

what book?

Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead

You might get some really smug looks from Tokarczuk diehards.

A related embarrasment: being caught reading a book that has the movie adaptation image as the front cover instead of the original innocuous cover.

eheh good one !

"Yes and no, " says the colleague, beginning his 5-minute explanation of why yes AND no

it's not the saying of it that causes the awkward feeling, it's the reaction among me and other colleagues. i am conditioned to subtly emote a quiet "heh" or slightly audible movement of breath at the "yes and no" intro