mayo: the devil's condiment

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for the purposes of this thread, aioli = mayo

Poll Results

OptionVotes
mayo is nice stfu 65
mayo comes from hell 31
mayo is okay unless it sits in the sun and gets crispy and translucent at the edges 22


cherry (soda), Sunday, 23 September 2012 13:20 (eight years ago) link

From Hell.

EZ Snappin, Sunday, 23 September 2012 13:21 (eight years ago) link

as a teenager, i washed dishes at a sandwich joint. the smell of hot mayo turning instantly rancid when it hit the dunk sink made me afeared for life. and ranch dressing was worse.

cherry (soda), Sunday, 23 September 2012 13:21 (eight years ago) link

Mayo is nice. Aioli nicer.

Know how Roo feel (LocalGarda), Sunday, 23 September 2012 13:23 (eight years ago) link

voted for hell but every once in a blue moon i will countenance a mayo, in the right context... usually when you cant taste it

Hungry4Ass, Sunday, 23 September 2012 13:31 (eight years ago) link

i sometimes eat slices of tomato with just mayo and a bit of pepper

clouds, Sunday, 23 September 2012 13:32 (eight years ago) link

salad cream, doy

kinder, Sunday, 23 September 2012 13:40 (eight years ago) link

I made homemade mayo once and it was p good

barthes simpson, Sunday, 23 September 2012 13:45 (eight years ago) link

I think it's weird how, after you scoop out a dollop of mayo from a jar, the remaining mayo stays taut and unconforming in a post-apocalytic world, waiting for the hell breeze to blow that will cleanse the mayo landscape and rend everything flat and clean again, but that hellbreeze will never sweep the mayoplains, in a jar of mayo

barthes simpson, Sunday, 23 September 2012 13:47 (eight years ago) link

Nothing at all wrong with mayo, people with food issues go find a shrink to pat your hand and say "there there, did the bad emulsion scare you"

Just kidding but nah, mayo is a good thing.

The Jesus and Mary Lizard (WmC), Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:15 (eight years ago) link

the only place I could ever really tolerate mayo was in a tuna salad, and I don't eat tuna any more so fuck mayonnaise forever and ever

Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:16 (eight years ago) link

and its ivy-league cousin aioli can take its refined airs and shove them up its greasy ass

Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:17 (eight years ago) link

for the purposes of this thread, aioli = mayo

gtfo

┐(´ー`)┌ (sic), Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:21 (eight years ago) link

voted for "mayo is okay" -- if it's on a sandwich already i won't turn my nose up at it but if i'm fixing my own i'll probably opt for mustard or something.

some dude, Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:23 (eight years ago) link

I can get that. like if I survived a nuclear strike and there was just mayonnaise for my sandwich ok. but as long as civilization still exists, why not make use of mustard, the spread of kings

Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:24 (eight years ago) link

Mustard is indeed the grand piano of the condiments

whiter than... this? (Ówen P.), Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:30 (eight years ago) link

sriracha mayo y'all

clouds, Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:32 (eight years ago) link

Mayo as a dip for vlaames frites is unspeakably unstoppably good, get that shit away from me it is delicious
Homemade mayo with hard boiled eggs and gherkins is classic beyond belief, come over some time and I will show you

whiter than... this? (Ówen P.), Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:33 (eight years ago) link

you people are nuts

horseshoe, Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:38 (eight years ago) link

mayo is delicious

horseshoe, Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:38 (eight years ago) link

the only place I could ever really tolerate mayo was in a tuna salad, and I don't eat tuna any more so fuck mayonnaise forever and ever

― Inconceivable (to the entire world) (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Sunday, September 23, 2012 10:16 AM (27 minutes ago) Bookmark

potato salad man (light mayo obv)

Hungry4Ass, Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:44 (eight years ago) link

Homemade mayo with hard boiled eggs and gherkins is classic beyond belief, come over some time and I will show you

http://www.meh.ro/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/meh.ro5416.jpg

kinder, Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:46 (eight years ago) link

gross

cherry (soda), Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:51 (eight years ago) link

i only hate three foods: mayo, overcooked green beans, and ranch dressing. but of the three, mayo is the only one that offends me.

cherry (soda), Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:51 (eight years ago) link

hot mayo turning instantly rancid

ok let's be fair to hot mayo, isn't it just curdling?

the late great, Sunday, 23 September 2012 14:54 (eight years ago) link

I put mayo on a corned beef (or was it pastrami?) sandwich last weekend. So wrong, but I don't care.

tokyo rosemary, Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:00 (eight years ago) link

you know how if you sell a sugar-&-water-enriched fruit juice you legally have to market it as a juice-drink, to avoid confusion & admit what it is you're selling, i feel like mayonnaise should legally have to be sold as Old Hot Eggs, w/the only room for mixing up the description being in suffixes, eg Helmann's Old Hot Eggs In A Jar

let's get the banned back together (schlump), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:04 (eight years ago) link

vlasic "dead cucumber packed in salt water"

the late great, Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:05 (eight years ago) link

Poor nam pla would be marketed as "innards of small fish allowed to rot before some process of titration and reduction"

cherry (soda), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:07 (eight years ago) link

mayo is delicious

― horseshoe, Sunday, September 23, 2012 10:38 AM (41 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yep. I love it.

Fries dipped in good mayo are one of the greatest things on Earth.

(✿◠‿◠) (ENBB), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:21 (eight years ago) link

I quite like mayo in a shop-bought sandwich or some kind of mayo-based drizzle or aioli with a meal out, but I never feel the need to buy a jar, let alone make my own. Which is good because the other half hates mayo and I would have to hear a lot of disgusted proclamations if he found any in our fridge.

I guess I'm voting "nice" but before I moved in with such an ardent mayo-hater I'd probably have gone for "okay in small doses".

still small voice of clam (a passing spacecadet), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:22 (eight years ago) link

it's just that america tend to abuse it

but yea i'm a fan of a good sandwich

surm, Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:24 (eight years ago) link

Mayo is excellent.

a great poke for Jet Set Willy (snoball), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:25 (eight years ago) link

Mayo on a poultry sandwich is good.

Mayo-based "salads" are horrifying unless they are tuna salad or the salad has a shit-ton of curry powder in it

Mayo-based potato salad is like eating Rainbow Brite's stale vomit

Mayo on a hamburger is like eating a cow sneeze

cake-like Lady Gaga (DJP), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:32 (eight years ago) link

I don't eat meat anymore but mayo on a bacon cheeseburger is delicious.

(✿◠‿◠) (ENBB), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:33 (eight years ago) link

So is potato salad (as long as there's not too much mayo). You're crazy.

(✿◠‿◠) (ENBB), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:34 (eight years ago) link

fresh turkey sam wit mayonnaise is ace++++ / turkey club

surm, Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:34 (eight years ago) link

I would have to respectfully disagree, that sounds about as appetizing a 2 girls 1 cup burger

cake-like Lady Gaga (DJP), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:35 (eight years ago) link

Xp to ENBB

cake-like Lady Gaga (DJP), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:35 (eight years ago) link

3 parts mayo to one yellow burger mustard and one ketchup, plus paprika, cayenne, and crushed garlic, plus finely diced gherkins, is the burger relish of the gods.

Mayo with hot smoked paprika, sea salt, crushed garlic, sundried tomato paste, and Spanish sherry vinegar is an amazing, quick, cheat bravas for some potatas.

Hot chips dipped in mayo is amazing.

A big blob of mayo on the side of a bowl of chilli is amazing.

Bacon sandwich with rocket and mayo is amazing.

Aioli is always amazing.

Hated mayo as a kid but love I now. Have to whip it to a smooth consistency, though.

Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:42 (eight years ago) link

Why the fuck would you put mayo in chili

cake-like Lady Gaga (DJP), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:45 (eight years ago) link

Why the fuck would you put mayo in chili

barthes simpson, Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:46 (eight years ago) link

sour cream is for chili guys

surm, Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:46 (eight years ago) link

I made some homemade mayo recently but it turned out too lemony to be a versatile sandwich condiment. Made a batch of tuna salad with it though and it was perfect, no surprise there.

xp gotta say, mayo in chili sounds horrifying.

The Jesus and Mary Lizard (WmC), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:46 (eight years ago) link

You don't put it IN chilli, you have it on the side, as a condiment, because its fucking lush, dude. That creaminess, with the spiciness of a chilli, om nom nom. First did it cos we'd run out of sour cream. Never gone back.

Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:47 (eight years ago) link

"You know what is really great, is a bowl of chicken noodle soup with a dollop of mayo floating in the middle"

cake-like Lady Gaga (DJP), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:48 (eight years ago) link

mayo in chili is gross

I made some homemade mayo recently but it turned out too lemony to be a versatile sandwich condim

^^ u made aioli w/ egg

the late great, Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:48 (eight years ago) link

i had chicken soup with avocado in it last night

hey chick-fil-a you should put avocado on that sandwich

the late great, Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:49 (eight years ago) link

I don't hate mayo, but I can't think of too many situations where I'd prefer it to mustard.

controversial cabaret roommate (Nicole), Sunday, 23 September 2012 15:49 (eight years ago) link

(in kewpie)

brimstead, Thursday, 17 September 2020 17:13 (one week ago) link

I have never heard of duke’s or kewpie mayonnaise

don't think apple cider vinegar or rice vinegar (if it's not seasoned rice vinegar) are that sweet. "natural flavors" seems like it covers a lot of territory in terms of sweetness

I like seasoned rice vinegar for sprinkling over sushi rice while it steams the moment after it is cooked, otherwise don't use it

Dan S, Thursday, 17 September 2020 23:29 (one week ago) link

Good fries dipped in good mayo are good. The French are 100% otm on this.

hey, trust the fungus! (pomenitul), Thursday, 17 September 2020 23:31 (one week ago) link

Hellman's vegan mayo is legit.

Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Thursday, 17 September 2020 23:59 (one week ago) link

I like Hellman's, but prefer Duke's why because it's more mayonnaisey

naked and sexually active alien (rip van wanko), Friday, 18 September 2020 00:15 (six days ago) link

I tolerate Kewpie now, especially on Okonomiyaki and hard-boiled eggs.

rb (soda), Friday, 18 September 2020 02:03 (six days ago) link

I am half-convinced you are all making up this Kewpie shit

it sounds like the name of a mayonnaise with a vaguely racist Youtube gaming channel

shout-out to his family (DJP), Friday, 18 September 2020 13:50 (six days ago) link

it's Japanese

好 now 烧烤 (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 18 September 2020 13:52 (six days ago) link

Ah, this thread again.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 18 September 2020 13:55 (six days ago) link

I do feel like hating mayo is the new bacon/pizza/whatever

I mean I hardly ever eat mayo but it's... fine?

British people: is there something working-class about salad cream or am I crazy?

maybe? I know mayonnaise seemed kind of fancy when I was a kid, maybe because of the French name. and we did used to use salad cream instead.

CP Radio Gorgeous (Colonel Poo), Friday, 18 September 2020 13:57 (six days ago) link

I do feel like hating mayo is the new bacon/pizza/whatever

ie hipster whites are now performatively talking about it?

shout-out to his family (DJP), Friday, 18 September 2020 14:08 (six days ago) link

thinly veiled metaphor iirc

naked and sexually active alien (rip van wanko), Friday, 18 September 2020 14:10 (six days ago) link

Kewpie is 100% racist, and I resisted buying it for that reason. But then again I am a Quaker and I eat the dumbass oats for breakfast every day, so I’ve got no leg to stand on.

rb (soda), Friday, 18 September 2020 14:25 (six days ago) link

Thinking a lot about becoming one of those guys who keeps a lil' squeeze bottle of homemade mayo in the fridge.

Simon H., Friday, 18 September 2020 15:53 (six days ago) link

Simon's got a squeeze bottle, blender doesn't sleep at night.

nickn, Friday, 18 September 2020 16:32 (six days ago) link

mayo is not “fine”!!!

brimstead, Friday, 18 September 2020 16:38 (six days ago) link

Slathered mayo on BLTs last night. Delicious.

James Gandolfini the Grey (PBKR), Friday, 18 September 2020 16:41 (six days ago) link

m on (bl)t's

shout-out to his family (DJP), Friday, 18 September 2020 16:42 (six days ago) link

someone must have made that joke before

shout-out to his family (DJP), Friday, 18 September 2020 16:42 (six days ago) link

\m/

naked and sexually active alien (rip van wanko), Friday, 18 September 2020 16:43 (six days ago) link

okay lol

shout-out to his family (DJP), Friday, 18 September 2020 16:45 (six days ago) link

people seem to think it’s akin to not liking pizza crust or something but it’s honestly a physiological reclusive response

brimstead, Friday, 18 September 2020 16:46 (six days ago) link

I'm gonna say the devil horns emoticon also doubles as the "throw mayo in the trash can" emoticon

shout-out to his family (DJP), Friday, 18 September 2020 16:46 (six days ago) link

repulsive not inclusive

brimstead, Friday, 18 September 2020 16:46 (six days ago) link

I’m sorry can somebody explain to me how kewpie is racist

sound of scampo talk to me (El Tomboto), Friday, 18 September 2020 16:51 (six days ago) link

They're thinking of pewdiepie.

Simon H., Friday, 18 September 2020 16:52 (six days ago) link

djp’s waste management service always befuddled by the amount of of mayonnaise and okra when they visit his house

sound of scampo talk to me (El Tomboto), Friday, 18 September 2020 16:53 (six days ago) link

& why it’s all on fire

sound of scampo talk to me (El Tomboto), Friday, 18 September 2020 16:54 (six days ago) link

It's not like I haven't explained the situation countless times

shout-out to his family (DJP), Friday, 18 September 2020 16:56 (six days ago) link

It's because you're cooking up a batch of your famous Blackened Okra Mayo, obviously.

Simon H., Friday, 18 September 2020 16:57 (six days ago) link

overboiled okra served with fry sauce yummmmm

Give me a Chad Smith-type feel (map), Friday, 18 September 2020 17:45 (six days ago) link

Update: Kewpie not racist, and not a Japanefied version of the golliwog stereotype. My wife is horrified/delighted I believed her.

rb (soda), Friday, 18 September 2020 18:50 (six days ago) link

To be clear: she didn’t spell any of that out. I took a tiny piece of information and mentally ran with it.

rb (soda), Friday, 18 September 2020 18:52 (six days ago) link

reading this gushing article about kewpie (ugh, gushing mayonnaise)

https://www.thrillist.com/eat/nation/what-is-kewpie-mayo-japanese-mayonnaise

* the vinegar in China was much sweeter and less acidic, so it makes sense that Japan would have similar vinegar and use it in mayo

* American kewpie is MSG-free, so should be deposited in the rubbish with every other food product which has had its MSG removed. Not sure if I have tried American or Japanese kewpie.

好 now 烧烤 (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 18 September 2020 19:06 (six days ago) link

yeah I can get both American made kewpie - at the regular supermarket - and Japanese kewpie at asian grocers and the latter is definitely superior.

I've yet to try polish mayo, is it good?

rascal clobber (jim in vancouver), Friday, 18 September 2020 19:30 (six days ago) link

the kewpie ingredient list I posted upthread (which listed MSG) was from me reading the label on the bottle I got from Amazon US

A True White Kid that can Jump (Granny Dainger), Friday, 18 September 2020 19:32 (six days ago) link

Update: Kewpie not racist, and not a Japanefied version of the golliwog stereotype. My wife is horrified/delighted I believed her.

― rb (soda), Friday, September 18, 2020 11:50 AM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

To be clear: she didn’t spell any of that out. I took a tiny piece of information and mentally ran with it.

― rb (soda)

I looked at the wiki too and first saw "German" and "early 20th Century" and prepared to cringe, but was pleasantly surprised.

nickn, Friday, 18 September 2020 20:30 (six days ago) link

Winiary Majonez is THE ONE if you’re after Polish mayo, which is good because it is seasoned with Polish mustard.

santa clause four (suzy), Friday, 18 September 2020 22:00 (six days ago) link

creampie mayonaise?

Neanderthal, Saturday, 19 September 2020 00:39 (five days ago) link

Use-a pesto instead-a

calstars, Saturday, 19 September 2020 00:43 (five days ago) link

Neanderthal bringing back butthole salad to these dark times

shout-out to his family (DJP), Saturday, 19 September 2020 01:50 (five days ago) link

just made a batch of gochujang mayo....feeling very powerful right now

(to make: follow a standard homemade mayo recipe but use seasoned rice vinegar + add a heaping tablespoon or so of gochujang)

Simon H., Saturday, 19 September 2020 16:13 (five days ago) link

I bought some gochujang for the first time recently to make kimchi fried rice, I like it!

Dan S, Wednesday, 23 September 2020 22:39 (yesterday) link

the key to mayonnaise in general is to whisk or blend the oil in very slowly, so that the egg and other ingredients and oil can emulsify

I've made sriracha mayonnaise before but gochujang has more complex flavors and as an ingredient sounds even better

Dan S, Wednesday, 23 September 2020 23:42 (yesterday) link

it's extremely good, I will make it again with maybe 1.5x as much gochujang and a little more lemon to counter the sweetness of the rice vinegar

Simon H., Wednesday, 23 September 2020 23:44 (yesterday) link

fwiw non-seasoned rice vinegar is not at all as sweet

Dan S, Wednesday, 23 September 2020 23:51 (yesterday) link

it was all I had handy, and tbh it's a tasty addition, just a touch overpowering

Simon H., Wednesday, 23 September 2020 23:54 (yesterday) link

This thread is exactly 8 years old today. Like the mayo in my fridge!

Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 23 September 2020 23:55 (yesterday) link

getting off topic but my goddaughter at 10 reveled in the fact that some of the food items in my pantry were older than her

Dan S, Thursday, 24 September 2020 00:15 (one hour ago) link

I find gochujang a bit tricky to work with in general because it tends to be a bit stiff and sticky

Mario Meatwagon (Moodles), Thursday, 24 September 2020 01:57 (seven minutes ago) link


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