rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

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http://i.imgur.com/7siqm.jpg

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 10:48 (nine years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/qeSY7.png

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 10:50 (nine years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/BWQ2l.jpg

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 10:51 (nine years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/z6zhx.jpg

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 10:51 (nine years ago) link

gonna be an important thread for future historians i feel

me so fat (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Friday, 15 June 2012 11:20 (nine years ago) link

feel like you could shop the open end of that p'zolo onto goatse and no one would notice

me so fat (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Friday, 15 June 2012 11:21 (nine years ago) link

wow the p'zolo is huge. truly something to behold.

lamborghini persie (J0rdan S.), Friday, 15 June 2012 12:25 (nine years ago) link

it's kind of maddening. i mean if pizza hut and these other places would just take all the $$ they are presumably putting into r&d or whatever it's called in the fast food/chain restaurant world and instead put it towards quality ingredients with the aim of making simple (if greazy) good ol' fashioned pizza, then their products would be edible, something like they last were decades ago. the drive for novelty has become increasingly silly to the point where, when i opened this thread i momentarily thought these were just some jokey ideas that dayo or another person had photoshopped. the p'zolo things just look nightmarish. are they using half-starved drug-addled homeless ppl for their test-marketing subjects or what?

dell (del), Friday, 15 June 2012 13:26 (nine years ago) link

even mcdonald's has more dignity

dell (del), Friday, 15 June 2012 13:28 (nine years ago) link

A COOL COLLISION OF SALTY SWEAT

blossom smulch (schlump), Friday, 15 June 2012 13:36 (nine years ago) link

just bought a bacon sundae fyi

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 16:55 (nine years ago) link

did it come with a decorative piece of bacon sticking out?

she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Friday, 15 June 2012 16:57 (nine years ago) link

this is obvious but this is a direct correlation to the emphasis on drawing hits on websites instead of reporting news/doing actual journalism - these food products (see also the pizza with hot dogs in the crust) get the restaurants press coverage, draw in consumers who just want to try the products so they can say they tried them - it's all about boosting numbers

congratulations (n/a), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:02 (nine years ago) link

edible memes

congratulations (n/a), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:04 (nine years ago) link

consume the thing that consumes you

congratulations (n/a), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:04 (nine years ago) link

did it come with a decorative piece of bacon sticking out?

they
give you one big slice and then a bunch of bits

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:07 (nine years ago) link

wow, that bacon thing is real?!

game of crones (La Lechera), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:08 (nine years ago) link

how times have changed

game of crones (La Lechera), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:08 (nine years ago) link

I could see the bk burger artist asking his manager on how many slices of bacon to put in the sundae

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:11 (nine years ago) link

holding out for a vegan version with tofutti or soy delicious and some of those imitation bacon bits

dell (del), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:34 (nine years ago) link

this is obvious but this is a direct correlation to the emphasis on drawing hits on websites instead of reporting news/doing actual journalism - these food products (see also the pizza with hot dogs in the crust) get the restaurants press coverage, draw in consumers who just want to try the products so they can say they tried them - it's all about boosting numbers

yeah i reckon that's so but it still seems absurdly short-sighted. but whatever. capitalism in the nineties. or whatever decade this is

dell (del), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:35 (nine years ago) link

cant believe the bacon sundae is real

Michael B Higgins (Michael B), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:48 (nine years ago) link

idk ppl have been putting bacon in desserts for a while now, not that crazy that a big fast food restaurant would jump on that

lamborghini persie (J0rdan S.), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:49 (nine years ago) link

yeah my best bro's fiancee sprinkles bacon in coffee.

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:51 (nine years ago) link

full english breakfast smoothie

blossom smulch (schlump), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:55 (nine years ago) link

Thick, Hardwood

George Peppard Steak (snoball), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:59 (nine years ago) link

^ porn names

contenderizer, Friday, 15 June 2012 18:37 (nine years ago) link

and yeah, BK bacon sundae is not super surprising to me. makes sense: further mainstreaming of "yum bacon" meme, sweet + salty has been a food trend for a while. not a bad idea, though i don't trust burger king to do right by it.

contenderizer, Friday, 15 June 2012 18:43 (nine years ago) link

I've had bacon + ice cream or bacon + chocolate on a few occasions and it's never really been a very successful combination. It's basically just a sweet thing with a few chewy out-of-place bits of bacon floating around.

"Holy crap," I mutter, as he gently taps my area (silby), Friday, 15 June 2012 18:47 (nine years ago) link

I saw the P'zolo commercial on TV last night and startled my wife by yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BULLSHIT" at the television

Victory Chainsaw! (DJP), Friday, 15 June 2012 18:49 (nine years ago) link

What in the fuck is the purpose of the apostrophe in the P'zone/P'zolo, other than to irritate me? Is there something wrong with "Pizzolo" (the word)? It's not like they're saving any syllables, really,

Race Against Rockism (Myonga Vön Bontee), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:00 (nine years ago) link

A made up word can be trademarked.

George Peppard Steak (snoball), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:05 (nine years ago) link

p'zolo live once thats the motto ni**a zolo

johnny crunch, Friday, 15 June 2012 21:08 (nine years ago) link

is "pizzone" a word?

Victory Chainsaw! (DJP), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:09 (nine years ago) link

hahaha "The P'Zolo: Better than a Hot Pocket!"

Victory Chainsaw! (DJP), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:14 (nine years ago) link

poo zoos only live once

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:15 (nine years ago) link

I have never heard of a poo zoo coming back from the dead so there is that

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:15 (nine years ago) link

poo zoo was the first p z combo I thought of, I should've went with the second: pussy zipper

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:16 (nine years ago) link

"coprophiliac zoophile" - two words you never want to see together.

George Peppard Steak (snoball), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:16 (nine years ago) link

pinata zoroaster

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:16 (nine years ago) link

Pazuzuzolo

a dense custard of infinity (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:19 (nine years ago) link

I guess the name was chosen because "p'zolo!" is the sound someone makes when they bite into one and spit it out because it's too hot.

George Peppard Steak (snoball), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:23 (nine years ago) link

If there was a Klingon Pizza Hut, what would they call these?

George Peppard Steak (snoball), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:23 (nine years ago) link

pizza vuvuzelas think abt it

johnny crunch, Friday, 15 June 2012 21:26 (nine years ago) link

so who is gonna be the first one of us to actually eat a p'zolo?

me so fat (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:56 (nine years ago) link

i mean we all know it's gonna be me but i just figured i'd give someone else the opportunity to step up to the plate this time

me so fat (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:57 (nine years ago) link

I have them pretty rarely now, having regarded them as the pinnacle of quisine when I was a kid, but I like the saltiness of the cheese in a double cheeseburger, though the quarter pounders are often dry and disappointing. If I have one now it's usually in the company of my daughter, on a road trip, and it's a fun experience for that reason. Though back when I was still able to work in offices, I'd often grab a sausage McMuffin on a Friday, which was very much a treat.

Change Display Name: (stevie), Tuesday, 29 December 2020 13:51 (eight months ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/potatoes-are-returning-the-first-in-taco-bells-vegetarian-plans-to-make-this-year-better-than-last-301208212.html

After a brief hiatus from menus due to Taco Bell's menu simplification efforts last year, Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes and the Spicy Potato Soft Taco will be back starting March 11. Taco Bell is also teaming up with Beyond Meat to create an innovative new plant-based protein that will be tested in the next year. Taco Bell chose to team up with Beyond Meat as a category leader with a proven track record of attracting younger customers with its irresistibly delicious plant-based offerings. Although Taco Bell has long been a destination for vegetarians, this will be the brand's first foray into plant-based meat in the U.S.

"The return of our beloved potatoes is just the first step in showing our fans the strong continued commitment to vegetarian we are making this year," said Liz Matthews, Taco Bell's Global Chief Food Innovation Officer. "We have long been a leader in the vegetarian space, but this year, we have more meatless options in store that vegetarians, veggie-curious and even meat-eaters will love."

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Thursday, 14 January 2021 17:53 (eight months ago) link

I've always been curious to try a vegetable one day.

jmm, Thursday, 14 January 2021 17:55 (eight months ago) link

"creating an innovative new plant-based protein" sounds weirdly ominous

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Thursday, 14 January 2021 17:56 (eight months ago) link

plant-based is so 2020

the future is fungus

sound of scampo talk to me (El Tomboto), Thursday, 14 January 2021 19:35 (eight months ago) link

taco “beef” mostly plant based already hohoho

brimstead, Thursday, 14 January 2021 20:55 (eight months ago) link

Taco Bell “beef”

brimstead, Thursday, 14 January 2021 20:55 (eight months ago) link

Vegetarian isn't just a trend for Taco Bell. The brand has had meatless menu items like the bean burrito for many years

lol

All cars are bad (Euler), Thursday, 14 January 2021 21:48 (eight months ago) link

Was vegetarian for many years and TB was absolutely the best of the big fast food chains because you can sub beans on everything, which tastes better than the beef anyway

, Thursday, 14 January 2021 23:43 (eight months ago) link

I wonder how much of the vegetarian market they actually have already captured, long term?

Doctor Casino, Friday, 15 January 2021 01:54 (eight months ago) link

"Taco Bell Vegetarian" is a lifestyle choice

the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Friday, 15 January 2021 20:14 (eight months ago) link

All the broke punk kids in [your town here] have always subsisted on bean burritos.

scampopo (suzy), Friday, 15 January 2021 20:30 (eight months ago) link

i mean i'm not gonna lie, upward of 80% of my intake was taco-bell-based for a year or three
i just dunno how much permadamage that did

the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Friday, 15 January 2021 20:55 (eight months ago) link

the future is fungus

you're saying plant-based is spore substitute, eh?

Respectfully Yours, (Aimless), Friday, 15 January 2021 21:03 (eight months ago) link

Quorn is just okay, tho-- I am not a vegetarian currently, but having been a vegan for a few years and worked in a natural foods grocery for a while, the idea of fungus based food is really good...it's just that it isn't being done particularly well at present, partly because so many of the products are centered around making something 'like meat.' Veggie products should quit that imitation meat strategy and just make things that taste good...

The return of our beloved potatoes (the table is the table), Friday, 15 January 2021 22:31 (eight months ago) link

As a confirmed lifelong Pizza Hut hater who is also a sucker for a good American chain restaurant food laboratory invention, I have to say the new Detroit-style is....not bad.

Selfie Stick Stickly (bernard snowy), Friday, 29 January 2021 21:39 (seven months ago) link

i keep getting ads for the digiorno pizza with a croissant crust and goddamn if don't want to try it

na (NA), Friday, 29 January 2021 21:41 (seven months ago) link

we tried it, it was not much to write home about tbh. :( like it just seemed like a regular crust but maybe more buttery. if there's a great version of it, it might be much more sensitive to oven temperature/cook time than the trusty basic frozen pizza crust. anyway it was not worth the price bump over digiorno's basic offering.

Doctor Casino, Saturday, 30 January 2021 02:33 (seven months ago) link

I used to eat a ton of Quorn when I was a vegetarian. I tried it again recently and it was much worse than I remembered.

reggae mike love (polyphonic), Saturday, 30 January 2021 02:40 (seven months ago) link

Yeah, most of the veggie or fungus based 'alternative meat' products are only 'good' to vegetarians because they've either never had the real thing or have forgotten what the real thing tastes like.

And I say that as someone who eats vegetarian about 70% of my meals.

The return of our beloved potatoes (the table is the table), Saturday, 30 January 2021 13:14 (seven months ago) link

Pepperidge Farm used to have a croissant crust pizza that I was absolutely crazy about. Wonder if I will still love it. Gonna have to investigate the Digiorno version.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 31 January 2021 19:19 (seven months ago) link

Didn't know Pepperidge Farm made ethnic food

Shaidar Logoff (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 00:10 (seven months ago) link

Poppage Farm make a fish and chocolate pizza

Dusty Benelux (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 2 February 2021 00:28 (seven months ago) link

remember when subway was trying to sell those flatbread pizza things? god those looked sad.

brimstead, Tuesday, 2 February 2021 02:00 (seven months ago) link

everyone had a panini or flatbread

panera, which I receive email messages from (judge me), has created a new food abomination every two weeks in the interest of business this past year

mh, Thursday, 4 February 2021 02:51 (seven months ago) link

two weeks pass...

You fought with my father in the Chicken Sandwich Wars?!

honkin' on bobo, honkin' with my feet ten feet off of beale (Doctor Casino), Monday, 22 February 2021 17:33 (six months ago) link

kudos

That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 17:43 (six months ago) link

Chicken is growing faster than beef, making it more attractive to fast-food chains.

the phrasing of this sentence makes it sound like something has gone horribly awry

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Monday, 22 February 2021 21:25 (six months ago) link

New Taco Bell Concept Coming to Minnesota

https://i.imgur.com/aRS6tHq.jpg

Above the vehicles is the Taco Bell kitchen, and orders would be seemingly dropped down to waiting drivers via a dumbwaiter system...

I mean, won't be the first time I've had to make a deposit after pulling through Taco Bell...

pplains, Tuesday, 2 March 2021 02:29 (six months ago) link

15" Chip Inn Meat Box with Curry Sauce pic.twitter.com/WD0o4ETJPK

— Rate My Takeaway (@RateMyTakeaway) February 28, 2021

G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 3 March 2021 20:45 (six months ago) link

Would eat. But I hope not all at once.

nickn, Wednesday, 3 March 2021 21:19 (six months ago) link

is that gyro meat?

G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 3 March 2021 21:44 (six months ago) link

There is no question that I would eat some of that

it's like edging for your mind (the table is the table), Thursday, 4 March 2021 17:57 (six months ago) link

prob the wrong thread but i don't know where we put this stuff but here
https://www.deseret.com/entertainment/2021/3/2/22309367/reeses-all-peanut-butter-cup-no-chocolate

G.A.G.S. (Gophers Against Getting Stuffed) (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 4 March 2021 18:17 (six months ago) link

Hey! You put your peanut butter inside my ... peanut butter!

pplains, Thursday, 4 March 2021 19:03 (six months ago) link

Vegan, plz

Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Thursday, 4 March 2021 19:13 (six months ago) link

three months pass...

I tried Taco Bell for the first time a couple of months ago, and... How have any of you made a second visit?

Peter Greenaway's Fleetwood Mac (S-), Tuesday, 15 June 2021 13:46 (three months ago) link

I tried it for the first time at a young relative's birthday party a few years ago. I went back once more and tried the other menu item, the hard shell. That's enough.

wasdnuos (abanana), Tuesday, 15 June 2021 14:37 (three months ago) link

yes, it's fucking awful

《Myst1kOblivi0n》 (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 15 June 2021 18:22 (three months ago) link

my brother-in-law really likes it for some reason. he's quite a good cook and a bit of a foody. i find it perplexing

《Myst1kOblivi0n》 (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 15 June 2021 18:23 (three months ago) link

The only acceptable time to eat Taco Bell is when one is very drunk. In 2015, when we were winter caretakers at the hobo museum, some friends had abandoned an old Volvo wagon on the property, and my partner got it working just enough to tool around in the small nearby town, but it was....scary.

Anyway, he was incredibly drunk, we were both incredibly drunk, and everyone on the property was incredibly drunk because we'd been partying for most of the day. But there was a 24-hr Taco Bell at the end of the .75 mile dirt road that led to the property. So he drove it through the drive-thru and purchased $50 worth of bean and cheese burritos and a few other things. In the meantime, one of the local cops pulled up behind us...

And that was the last evening that the Volvo drove! Taco Bell killed it.

heyy nineteen, that's john belushi (the table is the table), Tuesday, 15 June 2021 18:47 (three months ago) link

Taco bell is great all the time actually, a national treasure

, Tuesday, 15 June 2021 19:49 (three months ago) link

there was a period of about six years between age 16 and 21 where I ate taco bell multiple times a week but i'm pretty sure it's been a few decades since i last partook.

When I was in high school it was not uncommon for groups of my friends to drive 100 miles just to go to the nearest taco bell.

It's not objectively good but I still have a soft spot for it and would still absolutely choose it over the usual suite of US fast food options.

joygoat, Saturday, 19 June 2021 15:07 (three months ago) link

taco bell is drunk food only for me, ie midnight/2am tail end of all-day drinking epic slopfest. it soaks up the booze well. or has, the handful of times i have been in that situation

i cannot eat it sober. it’s gross.

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 19 June 2021 16:31 (three months ago) link

have we discussed the current offerings at TGI Friday's? the front of their "Under the Big Top" themed menu is promoting such things as:

Famous Whiskey-Glazed Skewer: three sliders and six wings, on a stick

Whiskey-Glazed Donut Burger: cheeseburger with onions, bacon and pickles, "served on sweet, soft glazed donuts"

Flaming Donut Chicken Sandwich: same concept but with fried chicken in hot sauce plus jalapeños and Ranch. keeping the bacon too.

and the piece de resistance:

the Ooey Gooey Mozz Stick Melter: "Our famous Mozzarella Sticks, marinara & melted blend of 3 cheeses between two artisan slices of buttery bread. Skewered with two Mozzarella sticks."

you read that right: it's a three-cheese grilled cheese, plus it has mozzarella sticks inside it, and two more mozzarella sticks jammed on the top with a skewer. quarantine must have been tough on the food laboratory technicians.

Bobo Honk, real name, no gimmicks (Doctor Casino), Sunday, 20 June 2021 01:51 (three months ago) link

That last one is less food lab and more thing a very high cook came up with for a shift meal

Clara Lemlich stan account (silby), Sunday, 20 June 2021 02:12 (three months ago) link

those all sound pretty good

brimstead, Sunday, 20 June 2021 02:40 (three months ago) link


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