rolling new food laboratory inventions for american chain restaurants thread

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http://i.imgur.com/7siqm.jpg

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 10:48 (seven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/qeSY7.png

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 10:50 (seven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/BWQ2l.jpg

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 10:51 (seven years ago) link

http://i.imgur.com/z6zhx.jpg

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 10:51 (seven years ago) link

gonna be an important thread for future historians i feel

me so fat (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Friday, 15 June 2012 11:20 (seven years ago) link

feel like you could shop the open end of that p'zolo onto goatse and no one would notice

me so fat (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Friday, 15 June 2012 11:21 (seven years ago) link

wow the p'zolo is huge. truly something to behold.

lamborghini persie (J0rdan S.), Friday, 15 June 2012 12:25 (seven years ago) link

it's kind of maddening. i mean if pizza hut and these other places would just take all the $$ they are presumably putting into r&d or whatever it's called in the fast food/chain restaurant world and instead put it towards quality ingredients with the aim of making simple (if greazy) good ol' fashioned pizza, then their products would be edible, something like they last were decades ago. the drive for novelty has become increasingly silly to the point where, when i opened this thread i momentarily thought these were just some jokey ideas that dayo or another person had photoshopped. the p'zolo things just look nightmarish. are they using half-starved drug-addled homeless ppl for their test-marketing subjects or what?

dell (del), Friday, 15 June 2012 13:26 (seven years ago) link

even mcdonald's has more dignity

dell (del), Friday, 15 June 2012 13:28 (seven years ago) link

A COOL COLLISION OF SALTY SWEAT

blossom smulch (schlump), Friday, 15 June 2012 13:36 (seven years ago) link

just bought a bacon sundae fyi

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 16:55 (seven years ago) link

did it come with a decorative piece of bacon sticking out?

she started dancing to that (Finefinemusic), Friday, 15 June 2012 16:57 (seven years ago) link

this is obvious but this is a direct correlation to the emphasis on drawing hits on websites instead of reporting news/doing actual journalism - these food products (see also the pizza with hot dogs in the crust) get the restaurants press coverage, draw in consumers who just want to try the products so they can say they tried them - it's all about boosting numbers

congratulations (n/a), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:02 (seven years ago) link

edible memes

congratulations (n/a), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:04 (seven years ago) link

consume the thing that consumes you

congratulations (n/a), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:04 (seven years ago) link

did it come with a decorative piece of bacon sticking out?

they
give you one big slice and then a bunch of bits

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:07 (seven years ago) link

wow, that bacon thing is real?!

game of crones (La Lechera), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:08 (seven years ago) link

how times have changed

game of crones (La Lechera), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:08 (seven years ago) link

I could see the bk burger artist asking his manager on how many slices of bacon to put in the sundae

un® (dayo), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:11 (seven years ago) link

holding out for a vegan version with tofutti or soy delicious and some of those imitation bacon bits

dell (del), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:34 (seven years ago) link

this is obvious but this is a direct correlation to the emphasis on drawing hits on websites instead of reporting news/doing actual journalism - these food products (see also the pizza with hot dogs in the crust) get the restaurants press coverage, draw in consumers who just want to try the products so they can say they tried them - it's all about boosting numbers

yeah i reckon that's so but it still seems absurdly short-sighted. but whatever. capitalism in the nineties. or whatever decade this is

dell (del), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:35 (seven years ago) link

cant believe the bacon sundae is real

Michael B Higgins (Michael B), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:48 (seven years ago) link

idk ppl have been putting bacon in desserts for a while now, not that crazy that a big fast food restaurant would jump on that

lamborghini persie (J0rdan S.), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:49 (seven years ago) link

yeah my best bro's fiancee sprinkles bacon in coffee.

a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:51 (seven years ago) link

full english breakfast smoothie

blossom smulch (schlump), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:55 (seven years ago) link

Thick, Hardwood

George Peppard Steak (snoball), Friday, 15 June 2012 17:59 (seven years ago) link

^ porn names

contenderizer, Friday, 15 June 2012 18:37 (seven years ago) link

and yeah, BK bacon sundae is not super surprising to me. makes sense: further mainstreaming of "yum bacon" meme, sweet + salty has been a food trend for a while. not a bad idea, though i don't trust burger king to do right by it.

contenderizer, Friday, 15 June 2012 18:43 (seven years ago) link

I've had bacon + ice cream or bacon + chocolate on a few occasions and it's never really been a very successful combination. It's basically just a sweet thing with a few chewy out-of-place bits of bacon floating around.

"Holy crap," I mutter, as he gently taps my area (silby), Friday, 15 June 2012 18:47 (seven years ago) link

I saw the P'zolo commercial on TV last night and startled my wife by yelling "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT BULLSHIT" at the television

Victory Chainsaw! (DJP), Friday, 15 June 2012 18:49 (seven years ago) link

What in the fuck is the purpose of the apostrophe in the P'zone/P'zolo, other than to irritate me? Is there something wrong with "Pizzolo" (the word)? It's not like they're saving any syllables, really,

Race Against Rockism (Myonga Vön Bontee), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:00 (seven years ago) link

A made up word can be trademarked.

George Peppard Steak (snoball), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:05 (seven years ago) link

p'zolo live once thats the motto ni**a zolo

johnny crunch, Friday, 15 June 2012 21:08 (seven years ago) link

is "pizzone" a word?

Victory Chainsaw! (DJP), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:09 (seven years ago) link

hahaha "The P'Zolo: Better than a Hot Pocket!"

Victory Chainsaw! (DJP), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:14 (seven years ago) link

poo zoos only live once

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:15 (seven years ago) link

I have never heard of a poo zoo coming back from the dead so there is that

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:15 (seven years ago) link

poo zoo was the first p z combo I thought of, I should've went with the second: pussy zipper

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:16 (seven years ago) link

"coprophiliac zoophile" - two words you never want to see together.

George Peppard Steak (snoball), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:16 (seven years ago) link

pinata zoroaster

puff puff post (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:16 (seven years ago) link

Pazuzuzolo

a dense custard of infinity (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:19 (seven years ago) link

I guess the name was chosen because "p'zolo!" is the sound someone makes when they bite into one and spit it out because it's too hot.

George Peppard Steak (snoball), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:23 (seven years ago) link

If there was a Klingon Pizza Hut, what would they call these?

George Peppard Steak (snoball), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:23 (seven years ago) link

pizza vuvuzelas think abt it

johnny crunch, Friday, 15 June 2012 21:26 (seven years ago) link

so who is gonna be the first one of us to actually eat a p'zolo?

me so fat (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:56 (seven years ago) link

i mean we all know it's gonna be me but i just figured i'd give someone else the opportunity to step up to the plate this time

me so fat (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Friday, 15 June 2012 21:57 (seven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PjxRUEA0Tdo
angry about an unfair world and hobbled by clinical depression? have you considered suckling at the teat of a massive international corporation?

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 2 May 2019 16:26 (two months ago) link

Who pissed in your Piss Meal?

jmm, Thursday, 2 May 2019 16:27 (two months ago) link

shit that sounds like an onion rings article

|Restore| |Restart| |Quit| (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 2 May 2019 17:33 (two months ago) link

- "Great presentation. However, do you think it's a good idea to associate the word 'piss' with one of our food products?"

- "We don't use the word 'piss,' Roger. We use the word 'pissed.'"

* 1,000-year staredown commences*

pplains, Thursday, 2 May 2019 18:28 (two months ago) link

the salty meal: it’s sodiyummy!

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 2 May 2019 19:03 (two months ago) link

pissburger penetrating multiple ilx threads, brilliant marketing

d'ILM for Murder (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 2 May 2019 19:04 (two months ago) link

77 Meal imminent

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Thursday, 2 May 2019 19:34 (two months ago) link

Nice thing about a pull tab aluminum can as the anti-snobbism vehicle, compared to a screw-top bottle or box wine, is that you can't reseal it. It's 12 fl. oz. down the hatch every time.

A is for (Aimless), Friday, 10 May 2019 23:18 (two months ago) link

three weeks pass...

🚨IHOP/IHOb is launching a burger with the pancake in the middle https://t.co/5bIfv4oCs4 🚨 pic.twitter.com/MkeHXvTLBq

— Kate Taylor (@Kate_H_Taylor) June 3, 2019

Simon H., Tuesday, 4 June 2019 18:12 (one month ago) link

would eat of shame

jmm, Tuesday, 4 June 2019 18:27 (one month ago) link

no reason not to use the pancakes as a bun tbqh, what a missed opportunity

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Tuesday, 4 June 2019 18:42 (one month ago) link

yeah, that is a senseless crime

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 4 June 2019 18:56 (one month ago) link

I'm certain that was tested rigorously in the lab

I imagine there were some structural issues

Number None, Tuesday, 4 June 2019 19:21 (one month ago) link

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/business/article-canadian-entrepreneur-behind-garfieldeats-wants-to-disrupt-fast-food/

“I haven’t seen anything quite like this, but I like what he’s doing,” said Robert Carter, an industry adviser for the food-service sector with The NPD Group. The “entergagement” strategy, Mr. Carter said, could help GarfieldEATS avoid the sluggish 1-to-2-per-cent annual growth of the traditional restaurant industry in Canada, and play in the much more competitive digital-delivery marketplace, which he said has more than 20-per-cent annual growth. “The battle is: How do you get consumers more engaged?” Mr. Carter said. “This is pretty playful.”

entergagement

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Thursday, 6 June 2019 18:29 (one month ago) link

Wait, this is going to be about the cat?

I thought it was some rebranding of these depressing places to get soused at in the mall:

https://i.imgur.com/aJbBlzS.png

pplains, Thursday, 6 June 2019 19:30 (one month ago) link

They're like a Farrell's... without the fun!

pplains, Thursday, 6 June 2019 19:30 (one month ago) link

When I was younger, I used to do taste tests for Ruby Tuesday. You would basically get a free lunch (testing the food), then get a $50 gift card to boot. Sadly, I never got to taste any truly innovative food laboratory inventions though.

justfanoe (Greg Fanoe), Thursday, 6 June 2019 20:10 (one month ago) link

I did get to taste test a horrendously bad shrimp scampi that still today stands as the single oiliest thing I've ever eaten.

justfanoe (Greg Fanoe), Thursday, 6 June 2019 20:11 (one month ago) link

somedays, man, i sure do miss BurgerBusiness

Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Friday, 7 June 2019 02:38 (one month ago) link

I kind of miss the days I worked at the Olive Garden in high school. I learned a lot about life. I should've poisoned P4t Robertson when I had multiple chances.

Yerac, Friday, 7 June 2019 02:46 (one month ago) link

Yes

i believe that (s)he is sincere (forksclovetofu), Friday, 7 June 2019 02:50 (one month ago) link

Oops. (NYC Burger King has been passing off beef as Impossible Whoppers)

https://thetakeout.com/nyc-burger-king-beef-burgers-impossible-whoppers-1835324674?fbclid=IwAR3cO1ZgCLKi01MLrDk4hiUp-BLVj5UeYkvXmNldrnFOWhE01gaD4wHGEJ0

nickn, Friday, 7 June 2019 23:23 (one month ago) link

https://www.businesswire.com/news/home/20190610005219/en/KRISPY-KREME%C2%AE-Opening-Times-Square-Flagship-2020

Krispy Kreme announced today that it will open the first-of-its-kind flagship in Times Square, delighting New Yorkers and tourists alike with the most awesome doughnut experience imaginable. Opening in early 2020, the shop will serve more guests annually than any other Krispy Kreme location in the world.

Within the shop’s 4,500-square-foot retail space, Krispy Kreme will bring its iconic doughnut theater experience to life on the world stage. From the mixing of raw ingredients to the iconic glaze waterfall, Krispy Kreme Times Square Flagship will showcase the end-to-end doughnut making process, creating a wondrously delightful customer experience that is surpassed only by the first bite of Krispy Kreme’s melt-in-your-mouth Original Glazed® Doughnuts just minutes later. And guests can take that first bite while sitting in the world’s largest Krispy Kreme doughnut box with stadium-style seating, offering the perfect view of the doughnut theater across the shop.

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Monday, 10 June 2019 16:26 (one month ago) link

"iconic doughnut theater experience"

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 10 June 2019 16:44 (one month ago) link

if the family donut stores from California could expand across the US not a Krispy Kreme would be left standing

blood, loud screaming and nudity (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 11 June 2019 12:22 (one month ago) link

Our latest doughnut place is Hurts Doughnut, out of Missouri:

https://i.imgur.com/AFZI9PS.jpg

More stoner "Let's add Froot Loops to Nestle Quik" cuisine. I'm certain they'll be selling Doritos-powdered doughnuts by 2020.

pplains, Tuesday, 11 June 2019 13:20 (one month ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/ZTx41q8.jpg

pplains, Tuesday, 11 June 2019 13:21 (one month ago) link

They've got some good branding though: https://www.wannahurts.com/donuts

pplains, Tuesday, 11 June 2019 13:21 (one month ago) link

xxp are family donut stores in CA somehow different from those elsewhere in the country?

d'ILM for Murder (Hadrian VIII), Tuesday, 11 June 2019 13:22 (one month ago) link

i can't really answer that because all of the other places i've lived have been donut monocultures (Dunkin or Krispy). in California they tend to be run by immigrant families (often Cambodian, there are articles about the phenomenon if you search for Ted Ngoy + donuts) and their menus, while all more or less the same, are generally far more diverse and tasty than corporate places.

blood, loud screaming and nudity (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 11 June 2019 14:45 (one month ago) link

Interesting. The prevalence of Cambodian shops may be unique to CA but certainly in the mid-Atlantic and New England there are tons of great small donut shops amid the ubiquitous Dunkin'

d'ILM for Murder (Hadrian VIII), Tuesday, 11 June 2019 14:57 (one month ago) link

xp to the hot-dog crust pizza

https://i.imgur.com/YYLZa.gif

S-, Wednesday, 12 June 2019 02:32 (one month ago) link

Barbecue beef: New McDonald's burger available in the U.K. draws criticism from some who say it's not a real "Kansas City Stack." https://t.co/WcaYPAFCrR

— AP Central U.S. (@APCentralRegion) June 20, 2019

o no

j., Thursday, 20 June 2019 02:16 (one month ago) link

i am shocked, SHOCKED

Like A Turrican (stevie), Thursday, 20 June 2019 09:01 (one month ago) link

Special announcement: I am finger lickin’ thrilled to bring the KFC Cheetos Sandwich to KFC locations nationwide on July 1. pic.twitter.com/ENL0F8aKDC

— KFC (@kfc) June 20, 2019

despondently sipping tomato soup (Sanpaku), Thursday, 20 June 2019 21:54 (one month ago) link

president xi, please fire at will

dear lord

johnny crunch, Thursday, 20 June 2019 21:57 (one month ago) link

can I get that with funyuns

L'assie (Euler), Thursday, 20 June 2019 22:17 (one month ago) link

Someday. It's also a PepsiCo/Yum! Brands/Frito-Lay brand.

despondently sipping tomato soup (Sanpaku), Thursday, 20 June 2019 22:25 (one month ago) link

Not chain restaurant oriented, but Laura Shapiro's book Something From The Oven may be interesting to thread-readers - a history of the development and especially the marketing and adoption of postwar frozen/powdered/otherwise "convenience" foods.

Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 20 June 2019 22:29 (one month ago) link

RUSSIA’S SEXIEST POKER STAR ELECTROCUTED BY HAIRDRYER (bizarro gazzara) at 10:56 20 Jun 19
president xi, please fire at will
You really should see what they serve in KFC in china

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 20 June 2019 22:31 (one month ago) link

Mmm, soggy Cheetos.

jmm, Thursday, 20 June 2019 22:34 (one month ago) link

I may never visit a KFC again (here or China), but something like the Dragon Twister (fried chicken strips, cucumbers, scallions, and duck sauce in a pancake/crepe) seems to elevate the central ingredient, whereas adding Cheetos reduces the chicken and even bun to the level of fried extruded corn starch.

despondently sipping tomato soup (Sanpaku), Thursday, 20 June 2019 22:46 (one month ago) link

just don't eat chinese kfc's egg tarts - digestively murderous and a truly sad imitation of the real thing

Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 20 June 2019 22:56 (one month ago) link

"finger lickin' thrilled"

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Thursday, 20 June 2019 23:03 (one month ago) link

xp Their egg tarts are bad, but it's fascinating how this pastry has somehow gone from Portugal -> Macau -> dimsum -> KFC -> Korean bakeries -> now one of the most ubiquitous foods in China

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 20 June 2019 23:04 (one month ago) link

Not chain restaurant oriented, but Laura Shapiro's book Something From The Oven may be interesting to thread-readers - a history of the development and especially the marketing and adoption of postwar frozen/powdered/otherwise "convenience" foods.

thanks Dr C, will investigate!

Like A Turrican (stevie), Friday, 21 June 2019 09:45 (one month ago) link

it ends up going in some other directions (history of julia child etc.) as it's really a history probing what average american woman were really cooking in the postwar decades, and what it meant to them, etc. i had to skim since i was there for specific reasons but it all looked really interesting!

Good morning, how are you, I'm (Doctor Casino), Friday, 21 June 2019 13:34 (one month ago) link

two weeks pass...

xpost x'swhatever. I had another french taco last night. It was a special called Sun Cheese or something and had 4 cheeses and I selected a poulet pane and the harissa. The fries didn't bother me so much in this one. My partner got fish and chips. Both amazing. I think it's better than burgers and regular burritos.

Yerac, Sunday, 7 July 2019 18:54 (two weeks ago) link


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