Welcome to Vegemite Grrl's Home for the Absent-Minded, where you can tell tales of putting milk in the pantry/driving to the store and then forgetting what you went there to buy/looking for your glasses for 20 minutes before you realize you're wearing them/etcetera without fear of reprisals*. *Polite and or incredulous laughing and headshaking are par for the course and to be expected.
I hope I'm not the only one who fills this full of tales. Oh I have so many. Here's today's:
I have a cool hoonjadoonja that I plug my iphone/ipod into so that it will play through the car stereo. It's awesome....Except for when I put my phone/pod in my pocket without unplugging it and go to get out of the car. That's when I feel a sharp tug and a) my phone flies out of my pocket onto the ground still plugged in, or b) the rest of the device that plugs into the console rips out and I notice a cord coming out of my pocket and go "OHH RIGHT".
Welcome, one and all.
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 7 June 2012 01:22 (eight years ago) link
Recently my wife emailed me at work a digital photo of our utility drawer. Where I had replaced the scissors I had used to cut open a cheese package. And where I also placed the cheese.
― Soccer mom, hopeless and lost, in utter despair (Dan Peterson), Thursday, 7 June 2012 01:30 (eight years ago) link
<3 welcome. You are among friend/s, Dan.
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 7 June 2012 01:32 (eight years ago) link
Today I let a no knead bread rise for 10 hours too long, then when I dumped it out on the workspace to salvage, discovered I had used twice as much water as called for. The white, pasty, wet gloop spilled all over everything.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 7 June 2012 02:33 (eight years ago) link
Goes to supermarket to get one specific item I'm out of (toilet paper, margarine, water, coffee, stuff you need every day), returns with a car filled with everything on the shopping list, except that one thing I needed. But I did cross it off the list in the store. Why do I even make lists?
― StanM, Thursday, 7 June 2012 03:10 (eight years ago) link
oh god I do that so much
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 7 June 2012 03:13 (eight years ago) link
― buzza, Thursday, 7 June 2012 03:14 (eight years ago) link
Today I was in the kitchen holding the baby and trying to rinse a dish. Next thing I know I am in the bedroom and could hear water running because for some weird reason I forgot to turn of the kitchen faucet.
― *tera, Thursday, 7 June 2012 03:16 (eight years ago) link
I shall try to spare this thread my continuing adventures in never being able to remember if I locked the front door, but I'm sure I'll have many other things to bring here :(
yesterday I forgot to check there was nothing sitting on top of the fishtank (which is too close to the wall to look behind and too heavy and full of fish to move) before opening it, and had to sheepishly ask if the birthday card I rescued just in time was the only thing that had been there, or if I had lost anything useful
― instant coffee happening between us (a passing spacecadet), Thursday, 7 June 2012 10:13 (eight years ago) link
i do this all the time but last week outdid myself when i left the house to get a couple of essentials and somehow completely forget to go to the shop at all. i think i literally just wandered around for a bit listening to nicki minaj and got distracted by a market with nice food.
― kanye kardashian (lex pretend), Thursday, 7 June 2012 10:22 (eight years ago) link
This one time after making a cup of tea I put the kettle in the fridge, and had to re-arrange quite a lot of stuff in there to make it fit.
― I wish to incorporate disco into my small business (chap), Thursday, 7 June 2012 10:31 (eight years ago) link
Three times a day I wander around my classroom for four or five minutes trying to locate something I've set down--my clipboard, student work, my coffee, a red pen, etc. Yesterday I left the coffee cup in the supply cupboard. As I look for these things, usually muttering to myself, five students will come up to me in the interim with a question about something; "Hang on," I'll say tersely, as I wave them away before continuing my search.
― clemenza, Thursday, 7 June 2012 12:08 (eight years ago) link
I once somehow misplaced a pen in my pocket. Yes, in my pocket. I totally couldn't find it, so grabbed another pen and put it in there. Then at the end of the day, I found two pens in my pocket.
― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 7 June 2012 14:02 (eight years ago) link
I've got one pen in my pocketAnd the other one...correction--two pens in my pocket.
― clemenza, Thursday, 7 June 2012 14:12 (eight years ago) link
This one made me giggle like mad.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Thursday, 7 June 2012 14:28 (eight years ago) link
That's like me putting a coffee pod in the machine and hitting "brew" and not realizing I hadn't put a cup under the spout. Did that in full view of my manager once.
― how did I get here? why am I in the whiskey aisle? this is all so (Laurel), Thursday, 7 June 2012 14:30 (eight years ago) link
I caught myself one morning about to pour milk in the water-tank of the espresso maker. O_o
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 7 June 2012 14:57 (eight years ago) link
i love these. esp the cheese one.
― rayuela, Thursday, 7 June 2012 15:00 (eight years ago) link
Mr Veg has this one particular look he gives me when these things happen. It's like a cross between abject concern for my mental health and sheer unbridled amusement at my ridiculousness.
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 7 June 2012 16:50 (eight years ago) link
Had to get up early today for work, closed (usually always open) bedroom door so wife could sleep in. After breakfast, remembered something I had to get from wardrobe, ran full-tilt into bedroom door in the dark, bent glasses/nose/knee. Now knee hurts in the cold, and I have become an old man.
― seven league bootie (James Morrison), Thursday, 7 June 2012 23:45 (eight years ago) link
not to mention woke up your wife rather abruptly, I would imagine
― epistantophus, Friday, 8 June 2012 01:01 (eight years ago) link
oh James owwww
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 June 2012 01:20 (eight years ago) link
turned out she was awake all along
― seven league bootie (James Morrison), Friday, 8 June 2012 02:21 (eight years ago) link
The best friends an absent-minded person will ever have are habits so deeply rutted, so acidly etched upon the brain cells as to be automatic, and utterly and mechanically reliable. For example, I trained myself never to close a car door unless the keys to the car are enclosed in my fist. I verify this over and over, habitually. Even when I am not the driver.
― Aimless, Friday, 8 June 2012 03:14 (eight years ago) link
i can't even count the amount of times that i've frantically scrambled around the house searching for my keys before realizing they're in my back pocket
― J0rdan S., Friday, 8 June 2012 03:16 (eight years ago) link
Yep aims I do that too, I developed a "look back at the seat I just got up from" habit when exiting trains/cafe seats/etc to ensure i dont leave behind bags or umbrellas. I put my keys in a spot, same spot, no matter what when I come home.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Friday, 8 June 2012 03:18 (eight years ago) link
That would be a better approach than my current 'keep everything in your pockets at all times, thus carrying 2kg of crap on your hips at all times' method
― seven league bootie (James Morrison), Friday, 8 June 2012 05:30 (eight years ago) link
haha omg, im a fucking space cadet: after riding to work one day i took the subway home carrying my bicycle helmet, walked in the door and saw the empty spot on the wall where my bike usually goes and shouted "holy shit! where's my bike??". I set up for a performance that i completely forgot i was performing in. and i have (more than once) walked about 5 blocks from the house before i realized i was supposed to be checking the mail. fucking hippie parents man. they ruined me.
― ⦧(^_^)⦦ ♫ \(' )/ ♪ \(' o ')/ ♬ ⦧( ')⦦ ♪ ⦧(- ̺-)⦦ (dsvoris), Friday, 8 June 2012 05:36 (eight years ago) link
dude...I so feel you on this.
I carpool with Mr Veg & usually have the car, but every now and then he'll drop me at work and take the car. Inevitably on those days I will grab my keys at lunchtime, walk all the way out to the parking lot where I usually park my car and then go 'where the fuck is my ca----oh wait I don't have the car today'.
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 June 2012 05:39 (eight years ago) link
My housemate forgot to go to one of his best mate's wedding. I think thats pretty stellar.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Friday, 8 June 2012 05:39 (eight years ago) link
I lose stuff all the time - when it comes around the time for hat and scarf, I will always go through 1-2 of both before they settle in 'on the inventory' and I know to check for them on getting up from wherever I've been. And then when it is no longer time for hat and scarf, there's a few weeks of occasional panic that I've left them somewhere, fading into more existential dread that I've left something somewhere, but what?
― Andrew Farrell, Friday, 8 June 2012 05:47 (eight years ago) link
my worst, most horrifying absent-minded moment was when I was immigrating to the States. I took a flight that had 24 hour layover in Japan, so that necessitated going through customs etc. So as I'm preparing to re-embark on my journey after the layover, I've gone through the security check where they've x-rayed my carry on luggage etc etc and I'm now standing in line at customs, holding my passport and boarding pass waiting to get my passport stamped.
As I'm standing in line I see a Japanese airport guard walking along the length of the room, holding up a black satchel. He's not saying anything, just displaying it, walking back and forth along the lenght of the room. He walks by again and this time I notice the bag and think, huh that's a similar bag to mine. I look down, and realize that I AM NOT WEARING MY CARRYON BAG IE BLACK SATCHEL HOLY FUCK THAT'S MINE and I bolt after the guard to meekly reclaim my important possessions. ie wallet money, phone, everything I own.
I still get a wave of nausea thinking about that.
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 June 2012 05:49 (eight years ago) link
Needless to say I'm ridiculously ocd about my belongings when I travel now
― Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 8 June 2012 05:50 (eight years ago) link
on sunday I spent fully 15 minutes looking for the keys that were in my back pocket
― that's not kewell (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 8 June 2012 06:45 (eight years ago) link
oh and the thing where I'll be looking for 'er indoors in a shopping centre/street and repeatedly not see her standing right in front of me (this happens weekly)
― that's not kewell (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 8 June 2012 06:47 (eight years ago) link
your bag story is terrifying btw, the worst possible thing to lose at the worst possible time
― that's not kewell (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 8 June 2012 06:49 (eight years ago) link
oh and yesterday I put a bottle of olive oil in a calico bag and realised 10 minutes later that I hadn't put the lid back on
― that's not kewell (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 8 June 2012 06:52 (eight years ago) link
i don't know why but my most advanced displays of absent-mindedness involved bathtubs. I once switched on the tap to start myself a bath. While waiting for the tub to fill up I started doing other things and then decided I needed to do my grocery shopping. which took me about a half hour. I came back to a well-flooded apartment and some very angry neighbors. Another time, same thing, tub filling up and I start watching a movie. After a while I realised that the sound of water flowing that I was hearing did not come from the movie but from my bathroom where luckily the tub had only just a bit overflowed. And for some absent-mindedness that did not involve tubs, there's the day I went outside my flat to throw away the garbage. The door to my flat shut behind me. I then noticed I didn't have my keys. So I start knocking on the door hoping my flatmate hears me. Then after 10mns I remember that he's not home. So I go knock at our neighbor's place to see if I can hang out with him until my flatmate returns. Neighbor wasn't there so I spent 1 hour waiting outside my apartment only to see my flatmate return and open the door without a key. That's when I remembered that unless you used your key, the door isn't locked.
― Jibe, Friday, 8 June 2012 07:44 (eight years ago) link
oh god your airport story VG
once when i was coming back from atlanta, i went through customs as normal, including taking my laptop out of my hand luggage for the scanner as is standard. got out the other end, got my stuff together, took the little train thing from customs to the terminals, settled down in the lounge and decided i had time to go on the internet and OMG WHERE IS LAPTOP. i'd just walked off from customs without it!!!! luckily i had enough time to take the train back, endure the mocking laughter of the officials as i reclaimed it etc.
yesterday i popped out to the shops, halfway down road realised i'd forgotten my wallet, duh. nothing new here. got home, decided to change my coat as well cuz it wasn't as cold as i thought it would be, left house again, got to the shop and realised i had STILL FORGOTTEN MY WALLET. goddddddddddd
― kanye kardashian (lex pretend), Friday, 8 June 2012 08:03 (eight years ago) link
the whereabouts of my keys are also a permanent mystery to me - even though i actually HAVE a designated place i always put the fucking things all the time in order to prevent scenarios like, eg, having to cancel social engagements because i can't find my keys anywhere (this happens on a regular basis).
― kanye kardashian (lex pretend), Friday, 8 June 2012 08:04 (eight years ago) link
My daughter, who's now 22, still remembers the trauma of us heading out to something important when she was about 7 and we were seriously delayed by my inability to locate my keys.
To this day, whenever I'm looking for something, she suggests 'the vegetable rack'
― Fine Toothcomb (sonofstan), Friday, 8 June 2012 08:30 (eight years ago) link
oh man just remembered one from when i was a kid (around 8-9). I had football practice with my brother. once it was over, i walk back to school talking with a friend (that's a 15minute walk). when i arrive at school you're supposed to register upon arrival so i give me and my brother's name. the guy looks at me strangely and i don't understand why. then he asks me where my brother, whom i'm registering, is. he was by the football field patiently waiting for me to take him to school.
― Jibe, Friday, 8 June 2012 08:35 (eight years ago) link
I left my passport by the sink in the airport toilets once. Got back to the gate where the plane was about to leave and realised and ran back to the toilets in a panic not even knowing if I'd had it when I went there. Luckily it was still there and the plane hadn't gone yet. If someone had nicked it, or even helpfully handed it in at some kind of central desk far away from my gate...
(I have hated airports since the time I missed my plane because the queue for the security scan was going really slowly, and there are no clocks or flight announcements in the security area so I didn't know my flight was being called, and anyway there were no staff around to ask to be let through faster. You don't get a refund for that, the staff just look at you like you're a moron and then you have to go and pay for a new flight. I still feel it was not quite my fault, but uh, I could have been checking the time more instead of just standing where I was told and assuming that since I hadn't heard my name on the completely silent tannoy it was all fine)
― instant coffee happening between us (a passing spacecadet), Friday, 8 June 2012 09:03 (eight years ago) link
xps I can't have a leather wallet like a grownup, I need one of those canvas skater type ones cos leather wallets don't have anything to attach one's keys onto and whenever they get seperated I lock myself out of places at basically the first opportunity
― geezargh butlargh (DJ Mencap), Friday, 8 June 2012 09:06 (eight years ago) link
I have actually done the thing that you're really not supposed to be able to do any more - due to poor ticket checking on the part of the steward, got on the wrong plane and only realised when there was fortunately someone already in 'my' seat.
― Andrew Farrell, Friday, 8 June 2012 09:26 (eight years ago) link
I've just this evening missed a flight to my parents place because I completely blanked on the concept that I was travelling to the airport in peak hour traffic, and didnt factor that in to my timing :( Fuckin.
I feel like a complete dickhead. Luckily they allowed me to move to the first thing tomorrow morming flight for only a small extra fee.
― Pureed Moods (Trayce), Friday, 8 June 2012 10:35 (eight years ago) link
Ive never missed a plane in my life, I'm always meticilously early to airports, so I am really mad at myself.
far out :(
― that's not kewell (Autumn Almanac), Friday, 8 June 2012 11:02 (eight years ago) link
Put an electric kettle on the hob over christmas. Haven't had a hob kettle for about 5 years.
― owenf, Friday, 8 June 2012 11:24 (eight years ago) link
has anyone else ever...forgotten to put their shoes on when leaving the house?
couple of years ago i was actually on the tube, one stop away from my house, when i realised i was still wearing my slippers. never felt so self-conscious as when i had to go back and shuffle home to put my shoes on :(
― kanye kardashian (lex pretend), Friday, 8 June 2012 13:09 (eight years ago) link
Yesterday I prepped our drip filter for morning coffee same as alwaysBut instead of normal human behaviour I dumped half of the fresh coffee grounds into the empty water reservoir instead of the filter basketAnd spent a good while afterwards getting the grounds out of the reservoir Weee
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 2 July 2020 16:32 (seven months ago) link
Obviously, you had Hello, Larry on your mind.
― clemenza, Thursday, 2 July 2020 17:10 (seven months ago) link
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 2 July 2020 17:55 (seven months ago) link
Cooking, just took a swig of olive oil thinking it was my beer.
― chap, Wednesday, 5 August 2020 17:48 (six months ago) link
And yes, it was Tina Fey. Crazy that you all guessed that.
― pplains, Wednesday, 5 August 2020 17:54 (six months ago) link
Took a long walk earlier and just noticed that my fly is open, Doh
― calstars, Saturday, 8 August 2020 18:20 (six months ago) link
I didn't have to fumble around for even a second for the name of Hello, Larry, it was right there. Root causes: this why I sometimes putter around for 10 minutes looking for my car keys.
i will spare you all, for now, my rant about how the narrative about "hello larry" is revisionist and false. i get really passionate for no reason i can ascertain about 1970s television.
― Kate (rushomancy), Saturday, 8 August 2020 19:03 (six months ago) link
Measured out a cup of milk this morning then poured it straight down the sink.
― koogs, Sunday, 9 August 2020 17:03 (six months ago) link
Did the old “put my cold lunch on my desk, put my schoolbooks in the microwave” maneuver
― Chuck_Tatum, Friday, 20 November 2020 20:10 (three months ago) link
Before I started blowing leaves to the curb last weekend, I moved the Honda from the driveway to the street. I don't drive it much anymore, so not much that I've even removed its chunky fob from my key ring. So after I parked it, I dropped the key into my left breast pocket.
Came inside, ate a sandwich, and then went back out, spending the next hour or so herding leaves. Finished up, put the rake and blower back in the garage, hung up my jacket and then realized that the key was no longer in the pocket. Or the other pocket. Or in my pants pockets. Or in the Honda itself.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. It's not a huge yard, but it's bigger than a haystack. Started thinking about where I would've bent over, and sure enough, in this one section where there had been some thorny vines I had pulled up, there was half of the plastic piece to the fob. The key (and battery and other half) were still missing.
I dug around through the soil, the thorny vines, thinking that surely a metal key would stick out more than a black plastic fob. And if I had blown it down the driveway, surely I would've heard the sound of metal skidding down concrete, even with the blower at full blast. I notice other little non-organic debris, wouldn't I have spotted MY KEY?
It didn't make sense, but that defense couldn't stand up to the actual piece of plastic I kept taking out and looking at. The very scuffed up piece of plastic, that had been inside my pocket no more than two hours ago with the rest of its assembly. Something wasn't adding up, and looking at the four-foot high pile of leaves that stretched from my driveway to the neighbor's line, I was going to take a break,
Went inside, took my shoes off, went into the kitchen, instinctively opened the junk drawer to throw the fob into and there was my actual Honda key. I must've put it there for good keeping when I ate my sandwich.
Not sure where this other fob came from. If someone out there on Nextdoor has lost part of the key to their Red Herring, drop me a DM.
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 12:19 (two months ago) link
― early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 14:45 (two months ago) link
Maybe the junk drawer key was a spare that you put there long ago, and the current key is still among the leaves.
― nickn, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 17:51 (two months ago) link
When the absent-minded reach conclusions that satisfy them, best let it be
― calstars, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 17:54 (two months ago) link
I totally expected to look in my hand at that moment to find the broken fob had disappeared.
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:18 (two months ago) link
I did look in the mirror to see I had aged 25 years, but that happens every morning now LOL.
― pplains, Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:19 (two months ago) link
I was talking to Mr Veg last week & forgot ***mid-conversation*** what we were talking about. O_O
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 20:27 (two months ago) link
Ugh I do that a lot, especially lately. Menopause is a bitch!
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 21:22 (two months ago) link
Texted my wife, turned off the computer, put my jacket on and walked toward the lobby on my way home.
Get a weird feeling and ask the receptionist what time is it? "It's 3:08."
Like most, I usually don't leave until five.
So here's the weird parts to all that:
• I think my Android phone has done something funny. It said something about updating the time zones and then said it was only 3 pm after restarting. Out of frustration, I manually set it to five.• I walk across the office and see that sales is still here. Sales is never here after five on Fridays. Think nothing of it.• Check my computer and see that it's on Pacific Time too for some reason. Think that our office's whole IP address must've got messed up somehow, but eh, I'll mention it on Monday.
Serious as a heart attack on all of those. I wasn't trying to be cute.
I mean, I guess I really wanted to go home a few hours ago?
― pplains, Friday, 11 December 2020 22:50 (two months ago) link
Got some fancy noise canceling headphones and put on some vaporwave bullshitGo to the kitchen and wash my coffee cup and filter, put it to the side for laterGo back to the living room, sit on the couchFew minutes later I notice my kid yelling at me and waving his arms to get my attention “Dad! The waters still on!”
― calstars, Friday, 11 December 2020 23:54 (two months ago) link
(ignore the subtext of this which is that neither me or mr veg can stand to be wrong ... our conversations oftendevolve into did not/did too)Pulled up Chris Cornell’s cover of “Patience” to play for Mr Veg last night & was like “Hey check this out!” Mr Veg: you’ve heard this. I showed it to you sometime this summerMe: I have never heard thisMr Veg: sure you have! Me: (getting annoyed)Nooooo. i havent heard it thats why i’m playing it for you😬Him: you probably forgot, you have definitely heard it Me: GODDAMMIT I SAID I HADNT HEARD IT DONT YOU THINK I WOULD REMEMBER IF I HAD 🤬matter is droppedsomehow comes up again today at lunchtime.devolves in a similar fashion I mime choking Mr Veg bc I am convinced he’s gaslighting meHe’s like, dude i remember we watched it on the tv together. See, I even sent it to you & pulls up a text message he sent to me “hey check this out! + Cornell video link”sent July 29 of this year O_O... i stand corrected am now VERY concerned at the state of my memory loss :(
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 12 December 2020 00:58 (two months ago) link
Just take it slow, and I bet it'll work itself out fine.
― pplains, Saturday, 12 December 2020 03:35 (two months ago) link
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 12 December 2020 03:36 (two months ago) link
ah we've had that conversation a lot!I used to have the better memory, now I just shrug and at least recognise that I've probably forgotten more than I'll ever know.
― kinder, Saturday, 12 December 2020 14:18 (two months ago) link
actually my 'new' thing is there are certain people/celebs I can never remember if they're actually dead or not. I know there's a thread. But I really couldn't tell you if, say, Patricia Routledge was alive or no. (I just looked it up; she is).
― kinder, Saturday, 12 December 2020 14:19 (two months ago) link
yeahy hate that, keep finding people on the relevbant threads saying this perosn just died and me thinking id heard it several years ago.~}May just be significant birthdays .Or is it me slipping between uinverses
― Stevolende, Saturday, 12 December 2020 14:29 (two months ago) link
About an hour into the work day, I realize that my keys were not in my back pocket. Oh crap, did I lock them in the car?
Yup. Also, the car was still RUNNING.
One amused cop later, I've got my keys back.
― Hideous Lump, Saturday, 12 December 2020 14:57 (two months ago) link
we are all slipping through universes
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 12 December 2020 17:01 (two months ago) link
Recently went into the kitchen to make some tea. We have this old vintage Nally Ware set I got off my grandparents and I use the green one for teabags and the smallest one for sugar:
Went to put sugar in my tea and found a pile of teabags in there. Which Barney had stuffed in, on top of the sugar already in the bloody canister.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 14 December 2020 02:14 (two months ago) link
often when I'm cooking I keep earnestly opening the fridge door with a solid plan to get something I need and then drift off somewhere and wonder why I'm stood in front of open fridge.
― calzino, Monday, 14 December 2020 02:25 (two months ago) link
sensory overload and doing too much at once, probably, rather than brain damage. I rather hopefully tell myself!
― calzino, Monday, 14 December 2020 02:34 (two months ago) link
^ Same here except I tack on anxiety about keeping the fridge door open at the right angle on its hinge so that it doesn’t automatically start to close and hit my arm while I’m trying to get at the sour cream
― calstars, Monday, 14 December 2020 03:15 (two months ago) link
It wasn't the first time I cracked an egg and emptied its contents directly into the trash, and I'm certain that it won't be the last.
― You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Monday, 14 December 2020 03:24 (two months ago) link
Absolute favorite thread <3
― epistantophus, Monday, 14 December 2020 13:33 (two months ago) link
Certain seems a bit strong for this thread xp
― groovypanda, Monday, 14 December 2020 14:15 (two months ago) link
Making scrambled eggs, put some pepper in the eggs
[Five seconds pass]
Ew, there's a weird dark peppery thing in my eggs, better take it out
― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 23 December 2020 12:33 (two months ago) link
Disrobing for a showerTurning the water onPutting on clean socks
― calstars, Tuesday, 12 January 2021 00:18 (one month ago) link
― nickn, Tuesday, 12 January 2021 00:23 (one month ago) link
All too often, as soon as I get into the shower, my brain says "Are you still wearing your glasses?"
So far, my brain has been wrong, which I'm clinging to as proof that I'm not senile yet.
― Hideous Lump, Tuesday, 12 January 2021 04:15 (one month ago) link
Don't you wear your glasses in the shower? Maybe it depends on how shortsighted you are?I find it helps to be able to see.
― Stevolende, Tuesday, 12 January 2021 07:58 (one month ago) link
I'm very shortsighted and I don't, don't really need to see much. Also helps me ignore how filthy the shower is.
― nickn, Tuesday, 12 January 2021 17:28 (one month ago) link
Go to the kitchen to make coffeeNotice the coffee jar is almost empty Refill the coffee jar from master coffee stashPut away refilled coffee jarNotice there is no coffee in the coffeemaker
― calstars, Wednesday, 3 February 2021 20:47 (three weeks ago) link
As I think I said before about something I posted here, this may be more for a general-stupidity thread; it's a fine line.
I moved into my house a little over a year ago. For the first few months, the dryer worked fine. The last few, though, it seemed to increasingly take forever--up to an hour to dry one load. Tried different settings, nothing worked. I was ready to buy a new one. Tonight, though, I noticed for the first time where the lint catcher is. I used to empty that vigilantly with my old dryer, but this one is a little less conspicuous, and it's the kind of thing I don't think of on my own. The lint was so backed up, I thought at first it was some kind of filter. Took me 15 minutes with a screwdriver to get it all out. I assume that was the problem.
― clemenza, Monday, 8 February 2021 02:02 (two weeks ago) link
In an AirBnB in Tokyo I wondered why the washing machine took a long time to drain, noticed it had a lint trap, which when opened contained what looked like a felt brick. It worked rather better after removing that.
― assert (MatthewK), Monday, 8 February 2021 02:31 (two weeks ago) link
Just cut the drying cycle from 60 to 20 minutes. It's another Festivus miracle.
― clemenza, Monday, 8 February 2021 02:58 (two weeks ago) link
My sister just pointed out something I was thinking too: I'm damn lucky I didn't set the whole house on fire.
― clemenza, Monday, 8 February 2021 03:14 (two weeks ago) link
IN the past few months we have lost 3 coffee glasses, a good knife, and the bottle of white vinegar.
The knife turned up hidden in thr bottom of the slot for scissors in the knifeblock.
The vinegar had been put under the sink among all the cleaning products.
The coffee glasses have *disappeared*.
Barney thinks hes done all this and now worries he threw the cups in the bin lol.
― Stoop Crone (Trayce), Monday, 8 February 2021 03:40 (two weeks ago) link
been there :/
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 8 February 2021 03:41 (two weeks ago) link
For those of you thinking “hm, yes, I must empty my dryer lint trap more often” I offer you these words of wisdom: change your furnace filter.
― Guys don’t @ me because I tazed my own balls alright? (hardcore dilettante), Monday, 8 February 2021 05:08 (two weeks ago) link
― terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 8 February 2021 06:03 (two weeks ago) link
Good thing it's early and I'm fully awake...I just ordered something on AbeBooks and noticed I'd accidentally put a collection of John Updike's Rabbit books in my cart a few weeks ago. I sometimes look at the most expensive version of whatever I'm looking for on there just for fantasyland kicks; this happened to be more than $3,000. Caught it immediately, of course; if I'd been ordering at two in the morning, who knows.
― clemenza, Monday, 22 February 2021 00:38 (four days ago) link