slaves, tell me about 50 Shades of Grey

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As far as I understand it, it's a BDSM Twilight fan-fic that got purchased by Stephanie Meyer's publisher, dickered w/ to remove copyright infringements and stand slightly more alone, and became an extra-big bestseller.

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 12:48 (ten years ago) link

how did it get so popular? many of the folks I work with are reading it any talking about weiner-slavery in the lunch room and how to use ben wa balls, and how they're into submission. a: that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine and b: who is this targeted to and c: does it have a celebrity endorsement or marketing push i don't understand and d: i've heard it compared to both steig larsson and stephanie meyers and that makes me certain i will Not Go There

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 12:51 (ten years ago) link

my mother in law was really excited to read this until I said, "I hope you enjoy vampire porn"; now she is not so excited

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 12:53 (ten years ago) link

I leafed through a copy of it last night at the bookstore, and it looked pretty dull until I came to a list of SUPPLIES and RULES that included some variation of "nitrile gloves and "no defectation" and thought nope, not for me, not for little remy bean

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 12:57 (ten years ago) link

from wiki:

The plot traces the relationship between recent college graduate Anastasia Steele and manipulative billionaire Christian Grey. Steele is required by Grey to sign a contract allowing him complete control over her life. As she gets to know him, she learns that his sexual tastes involve bondage, domination and sadism, and that childhood abuse left him a deeply damaged individual. In order to be his partner she agrees to experiment with BDSM, but struggles to reconcile who she is (a virgin who has never previously had a boyfriend) with whom Christian wants her to be: his submissive, to-do-with-as-he-pleases partner in his "Red Room of Pain."

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:08 (ten years ago) link

lmao at 'weiner-slavery'

Hungry4Ass, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:09 (ten years ago) link

As far as I understand it, it's a BDSM Twilight fan-fic that got purchased by Stephanie Meyer's publisher, dickered w/ to remove copyright infringements and stand slightly more alone, and became an extra-big bestseller.

Exactly. It's really weird to me that this author isn't in any sort of legal trouble for borrowing so heavily from another work. I know a few public librarians, and they've all been shocked and disgusted at the popularity of this book because it's poorly written (apparently there's a lot of typos?) and basically fanfic.

Remy, I'm a little shocked that your co-workers are talking about this stuff at lunch!

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:10 (ten years ago) link

So it's like The Story of O for deeply stupid people?

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:11 (ten years ago) link

the hollywood pitch wd probably be Story of O crossed with Atlas Shrugged

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:13 (ten years ago) link

The Story of O, The Oprah Magazine

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:13 (ten years ago) link

Stedman, we hardly knew ye.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:16 (ten years ago) link

the most offensive line in the whole wiki is the phrase childhood abuse left him a deeply damaged individual

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:39 (ten years ago) link

white, male, straight, & economic privilege left him a deeply damaged individual

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:41 (ten years ago) link

I flipped to one scene in an airport bookstore out of idle curiosity and iirc it was a graphic description of him forcibly putting his wang into her pooper*

*ftr that may not have been what it actually was but now that I've typed that, I'm not deleting it

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:42 (ten years ago) link

He put the wang in the pooper and drank it all up.

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:43 (ten years ago) link

(sorry)

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:43 (ten years ago) link

no you aren't!

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:44 (ten years ago) link

This tumblr is funny, it has some choice quotes from the books.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:52 (ten years ago) link

Remy, I'm a little shocked that your co-workers are talking about this stuff at lunch!

Yeah, dude! Don't y'all have an HR department or somethin'?

Quiet Desperation, LLC (Deric W. Haircare), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:57 (ten years ago) link

The most egregious thing about this book's existence is that you know a slew of hack "writers" are gonna try to piggyback on the same idea (either via a million new S&M books or via writing barely-veiled fanfic of popular books and figuring out a way to successfully self-promote), a la the glut of post-Sense And Sensibility And Zombies trash.

Quiet Desperation, LLC (Deric W. Haircare), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 13:59 (ten years ago) link

meanwhile Jacqueline Carey is sitting at home going, "seriously, fuck all of you"

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:01 (ten years ago) link

i wonder who she's sitting on these days?

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:04 (ten years ago) link

Don Cheeseley and Brionie Grainchurch are gonna get it seventy ways from Sunday in Larry Cotter and the Chamber of Inserts.

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:04 (ten years ago) link

double lol

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:05 (ten years ago) link

I read this great thing from Erica Jong about it:
here is the link


“Argh,” she says, losing her virginity. This from a virginal contemporary college student, whose hymen is penetrated? The penetrator is one of the “Masters of the Universe” and he dresses in grey. And is named Christopher Grey, has gray eyes, wears gray ties, gray suits and speaks in clichés from badly-written romance novels (which are actually improving).

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:06 (ten years ago) link

maybe she's a pirate?

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:08 (ten years ago) link

“Argh,” she says, losing her virginity.

this is hilarious

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:08 (ten years ago) link

I am interested in ebb and flow of the nation's interest in lite porny novels, though. It really seems to erupt at the strangest times.

Fear of Flying was a long time ago (that was definitely not a romance novel)

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:08 (ten years ago) link

I love that she says "argh" like she's Cathy.

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:08 (ten years ago) link

"Ack!" she says, losing her virginity as she crams chocolates into her mouth.

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:10 (ten years ago) link

dying here

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:14 (ten years ago) link

That's the kind of sound you make when you lose your keys down a storm drain, maybe, but not your virginity.

Love Max Ophüls of us all (Michael White), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:14 (ten years ago) link

bleurgh!

judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:14 (ten years ago) link

Man, that would be some serious perversion, making your little virginal slave say, "Ack", when you're devirginizing her.

Love Max Ophüls of us all (Michael White), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:16 (ten years ago) link

ACK! My hymen!

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:16 (ten years ago) link

"Kloont!" she said, losing her virginity.

-- Don Martin's 50 Shades of Grey

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:16 (ten years ago) link

what is the approved onomatopoeia utterance for losing one's virginity?

"Oomf?" "Guh?" "Owwie owwie owwie?" "Fuck you, you actual fucking clown." < blink > "POP!" < / blink>

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:19 (ten years ago) link

Heavens! My virginity ;-)

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:20 (ten years ago) link

Dr. Seuss's The 500 Shades of Bartholomew Greyins

i love the large auns pictures! (Phil D.), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:20 (ten years ago) link

Anyway, Erica Jong was mostly pissed about the gravy train/Hollywood adaptation aspect of the brouhaha around this book.

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:21 (ten years ago) link

And its failure to be a proper "book of one hand"

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:21 (ten years ago) link

A very cynical part of me says this is a calculated 'make' book in the way of Twilight, Julie and Julia, that David Benioff book about Soviet cannibals, the Dragon Tattoo, Hunger Games, Wimpy Kid, etc.

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:25 (ten years ago) link

... this a book for pooping? or does that phrase mean something else?

that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:25 (ten years ago) link

Think again.

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:26 (ten years ago) link

Everybody Arghs

Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:32 (ten years ago) link

'make' = deliberately manufactured as a hit i.e. printed in huge runs on cheap paper and distributed in major lots w/ blitz/word-of-mouth advertising/in spite of reviews/tons. best comparison is, like, a blockbuster movie's PR campagin.

remy bean, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:37 (ten years ago) link

airport books?

game of crones (La Lechera), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:40 (ten years ago) link

Isn't there already enough anal probing going on with airport security?

Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 14:42 (ten years ago) link

and the sequels will tank

I dunno. (amateurist), Monday, 16 February 2015 18:38 (seven years ago) link

get ready for a lot of overwrought mainstream sex dramas; if someone isn't rebootying last tango, postman always rings twice and body heat right now, it's because the rights are tied up
c what i did there

the plight of y0landa (forksclovetofu), Monday, 16 February 2015 18:42 (seven years ago) link

actually if this leads to more "adult" (or even adult) romantic dramas, then i'm all for it

I dunno. (amateurist), Monday, 16 February 2015 18:46 (seven years ago) link

A friend who works in a theatre just informed me that someone left a whip behind at one screening (though this reeks more of "ironic" viewing than anything).

That shit right there is precedented. (cryptosicko), Monday, 16 February 2015 19:20 (seven years ago) link

my sister works at a movie theater, and last night she told me they found a condom on the floor during cleanup. i was like "ew, those 50 shades fans are sick" and she said "no, it was in the theater for the Spongebob movie."

bonkers candle ancestors (reddening), Monday, 16 February 2015 20:06 (seven years ago) link

Universal’s second highest opening weekend of all time, just behind “Fast & Furious 6″ ($160.3 million).

"Fast & Furious 6" starring Jenna Jameson et al

bit of a singles monster (Eazy), Monday, 16 February 2015 20:10 (seven years ago) link

xpost

wouldn't this have been more appropriate?
http://www.todaysponge.com/images/press-sponge.jpg

Free Me's Electric Trumpet (Moodles), Monday, 16 February 2015 20:15 (seven years ago) link

A friend who works in a theatre just informed me that someone left a whip behind at one screening (though this reeks more of "ironic" viewing than anything).

So people are going to this like they would to see the Chippendales strippers or go to a lol naughty sextoy sales night? #sadhousewives

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Monday, 16 February 2015 22:35 (seven years ago) link

a whip or whippits?

mh, Monday, 16 February 2015 22:45 (seven years ago) link

the Phish crossover market

It's strange to me too. But we're talking about praxis, man. (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 16 February 2015 22:54 (seven years ago) link

Universal’s second highest opening weekend of all time, just behind “Fast & Furious 6″

lol @ medium of film

A MOOC, what's a MOOC? (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 17 February 2015 11:17 (seven years ago) link

can't lie, I'll be buying tickets for the seventh chapter in the F&F franchise

mh, Tuesday, 17 February 2015 14:21 (seven years ago) link

excited about the revival of the EROTIC THRILLER genre

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 17 February 2015 17:12 (seven years ago) link

This lacks thrills though right?

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 17 February 2015 17:28 (seven years ago) link

its just an EROTIC

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 17 February 2015 17:37 (seven years ago) link

I'm sure people find it thrilling in exactly the same way Wild Orchid was thrilling

Οὖτις, Tuesday, 17 February 2015 17:39 (seven years ago) link

I remember my parents going to see Wild Orchid. A year or so later, when it hit cable, I snuck downstairs late at night to watch some of it and was pretty much like "so, this is what adults find hot?!"

That shit right there is precedented. (cryptosicko), Tuesday, 17 February 2015 17:57 (seven years ago) link

Thanks to winning a VCR circa 84/85 at a fundraiser raffle, my father treated the entire family to some uncomfortable family movie nights with movies like Body Heat and 9 1/2 Weeks. My takeaway was that my dad is super shameless and a total hero.

"Go pet your dog" is the name of my dog (DJP), Tuesday, 17 February 2015 18:17 (seven years ago) link

Way to go dad

Minaj moron (Re-Make/Re-Model), Tuesday, 17 February 2015 18:23 (seven years ago) link

So, basically, this movie is book one, and there will doubtless be three eventually.

Mark G, Tuesday, 17 February 2015 19:29 (seven years ago) link

Ok, I have now read more of this thread.

Basically, Stevie D's review is otm.

Mark G, Tuesday, 17 February 2015 19:33 (seven years ago) link

they're going to break the third book out in to three separate movies though

gr8080, Wednesday, 18 February 2015 12:27 (seven years ago) link

The desolation of SM

sʌxihɔːl (Ward Fowler), Wednesday, 18 February 2015 13:03 (seven years ago) link

applause

oochie wally (clean version) (sic), Wednesday, 18 February 2015 13:04 (seven years ago) link

50 Shades of Armond: http://www.nationalreview.com/article/413741/50-shades-dull-armond-white

Enterprises such as 50 Shades of Grey and Gone Girl, designed to exploit modern moral confusion, also mean to rationalize political disorientation. Anastasia and Grey’s sadomasochistic love/hate symbolizes contemporary bewilderment regarding capitalist politics. Rich, empowered men like Grey are shown to lead and seduce us, while a new consumerist myth (replacing rugged individualism) suggests that our naïve affection — the opposite of buyer’s remorse — can redeem them, just as Bill Clinton has been redeemed and sanctioned by the mainstream media.

Don A Henley And Get Over It (C. Grisso/McCain), Friday, 20 February 2015 22:26 (seven years ago) link

I think he is getting at something but not getting all the way there

walid foster dulles (man alive), Friday, 20 February 2015 22:38 (seven years ago) link

armond white is quoting X and giving a big-up Eddie Murphy's Vampire In Brooklyn for the National Review

da croupier, Friday, 20 February 2015 22:40 (seven years ago) link

So Jamie Dornan has quit the franchise?

I am using your worlds, Tuesday, 24 February 2015 22:38 (seven years ago) link

three covers with pictures of...bridges? and a clip art of atlas carrying the comfort inn logo.

brosario nawson (m bison), Wednesday, 25 February 2015 03:07 (seven years ago) link

have I posted yet with the idea that knowing who her parents are, this is probably like the fifteenth most screwy enterprise Dakota Johnson has been a part of. we just don't know.

mh, Wednesday, 25 February 2015 03:09 (seven years ago) link

Her mother lived with a pet lion in their house, who the hell knows.

I checked Snoops , and it is for real (Trayce), Wednesday, 25 February 2015 03:50 (seven years ago) link

Funny name for a lion.

Mark G, Wednesday, 25 February 2015 07:46 (seven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

and then this happened. shocked that he didn't get one donation

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1839613945/fifty-shades-of-poop

Hammer Smashed Bagels, Tuesday, 24 March 2015 21:19 (seven years ago) link

shocked that you're the one telling ilx about a bad poop joke

gr8080, Tuesday, 24 March 2015 22:17 (seven years ago) link

can't lie, I flagged the poop joke post

mh, Wednesday, 25 March 2015 00:47 (seven years ago) link

sam taylor-johnson is out:

I forged close and lasting relationships with the cast, producers and crew and most especially, with Dakota and Jamie. While I will not be returning to direct the sequels, I wish nothing but success to whosoever takes on the exciting challenges of films two and three.

'exciting challenges'

bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 26 March 2015 15:14 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

http://blog.eljamesauthor.com/?p=1173

should have been called 50 Grades of Steele obviously

aaaaablnnn (abanana), Thursday, 4 June 2015 01:55 (seven years ago) link

this might be my favorite ile thread title. always makes me chuckle

da croupier, Thursday, 4 June 2015 02:08 (seven years ago) link

yet ANOTHER way 50 shades is ripping off twilight, stephenie meyer notoriously rewrote twilight from edward's perspective and then canned it after a rough draft leaked to the internet. legend had it that robert pattinson traded his copy for drugs, but that's probably apocryphal.

the jackal-snouted problem man (reddening), Thursday, 4 June 2015 06:44 (seven years ago) link

five months pass...

do you get it, the tie is an erect penis

i made a scope for my laser musket out of some (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 19 November 2015 20:40 (six years ago) link

two months pass...

they've been showing this on hbo... this movie is hilarious, constant lols

• (sleepingbag), Friday, 22 January 2016 02:38 (six years ago) link

three years pass...

butt room

master of nuggets (Neanderthal), Thursday, 12 December 2019 22:27 (two years ago) link

two years pass...

lmao she actually wrote the three Fifty Shades books again, from Christian's perspective? Jesus GOD, that's like the "Megahertz" episode of Weird Science (tv version).

also managed to get an actual non-50 shades book published: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mister

Doop Snogg (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 22 June 2022 15:11 (one week ago) link

Jezebel reviewed it, lmao

https://jezebel.com/e-l-jamess-the-mister-fucks-a-duck-1834456299

Doop Snogg (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 22 June 2022 15:14 (one week ago) link

She has a new one about a Jewish mobster from Brooklyn who's addicted to sunglasses:

Fifty Shades Freed

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 22 June 2022 16:43 (one week ago) link


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