local businesses with horribly formed "names"

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"dog barfs" (mobile dog hydrobaths service)
"rug rage" (floor covering specialists)
"final pest solutions" (pest control)
"ashmore exhaust no muff too tuff" (car wholesaling and motor vehicle parts manufacturing)

also there is a florist which has "GIVE HER ONE TONIGHT" in huge letters on the side of the building
and a plumber's van with "I'LL FIND YOUR WET SPOT" painted on it

estela, Thursday, 29 March 2012 03:23 (seven years ago) link

from my hometown:
"24 Hour Custom Slaughter"

Did you drop some flug in my cup? (Abbbottt), Thursday, 29 March 2012 03:25 (seven years ago) link

there used to be a shabby mexican restaurant called 'la cucaracha' but it is gone now
and an old motel called 'casablanca' that was painted pink

estela, Thursday, 29 March 2012 03:26 (seven years ago) link

what is custom slaughter?

estela, Thursday, 29 March 2012 03:27 (seven years ago) link

It was a place that would come cut up your livestock.

Did you drop some flug in my cup? (Abbbottt), Thursday, 29 March 2012 03:28 (seven years ago) link

"La Cucaracha" reminds me of the Boise restaurant "The El Gringo," which advertised itself as "home of the six foot burrito."

Did you drop some flug in my cup? (Abbbottt), Thursday, 29 March 2012 03:29 (seven years ago) link

The Framing Dragon

mick signals, Thursday, 29 March 2012 03:31 (seven years ago) link

someone should set up a worldwide chain of creative advice bureaus for people who think things sound catchy.

estela, Thursday, 29 March 2012 03:48 (seven years ago) link

Cutting Remarks - a hairdresser, presumably one who gives you insult-worthy haircuts

Nails That Are Noticeable

Not only dermatologists hate her (James Morrison), Thursday, 29 March 2012 03:55 (seven years ago) link

there is a gas station near our house, located on cutting blvd, called CUTTING GAS.

just1n3, Thursday, 29 March 2012 04:04 (seven years ago) link

In Bremerton, Washington there is (was) a dog grooming place called Doggy Style

neutral sequence for flute (blank), Thursday, 29 March 2012 04:07 (seven years ago) link

I guess that's pretty well formed, just in somewhat poor taste

neutral sequence for flute (blank), Thursday, 29 March 2012 04:08 (seven years ago) link

In my town some bright bulb chose to open an asian fusion cuisine restaurant, naming it: fuAsian. <-- no joke.

Aimless, Thursday, 29 March 2012 04:15 (seven years ago) link

The Framing Dragon

please tell me this is run by framers of Chinese descent

┗|∵|┓ (sic), Thursday, 29 March 2012 05:06 (seven years ago) link

fuAsian is just plain hopeless.

estela, Thursday, 29 March 2012 10:09 (seven years ago) link

There is a shop specialising in Indian confectionary here in Glasgow called "Decent Sweets". Ironically their sweets are actually delicious.

brain (krakow), Thursday, 29 March 2012 10:13 (seven years ago) link

i admire their modesty.

estela, Thursday, 29 March 2012 10:19 (seven years ago) link

Absolutely! It always makes me smile. In Glasgow "Nae Bad Sweets" would have been even better though.

brain (krakow), Thursday, 29 March 2012 10:22 (seven years ago) link

The drive-thru bottle shop at the Dick Whittington tavern down the road is called DICK LIQUOR

zooey bechamel (Trayce), Thursday, 29 March 2012 10:25 (seven years ago) link

JIZZ FASHION

jabba hands, Thursday, 29 March 2012 10:27 (seven years ago) link

there's also Lick Her Store on oxford st in sydney

jabba hands, Thursday, 29 March 2012 10:29 (seven years ago) link

There was also a Big Duck n Fish company store in Malvern - it made big plates/ceramics.

zooey bechamel (Trayce), Thursday, 29 March 2012 10:32 (seven years ago) link

electricsound posted this the other day on another thread:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2328/2444755092_9296a89496.jpg

estela, Thursday, 29 March 2012 10:33 (seven years ago) link

There was a pub here that they did a horrible job of updating and unfortunately they renamed it Fubar

Valéry Giscard d'Staind (NickB), Thursday, 29 March 2012 10:35 (seven years ago) link

Hahahahah estela :D

zooey bechamel (Trayce), Thursday, 29 March 2012 11:01 (seven years ago) link

This is my favorite named shop ever though some might think it horrible (THEY WOULD BE WRONG). In London by Waterloo station:

http://www.london-se1.co.uk/restaurants/images/040129_fishcotheque.jpg

wolf kabob (ENBB), Thursday, 29 March 2012 11:06 (seven years ago) link

i just had a pang that maybe this thread should be deindexed because some of these businesses are quite small and probably run by perfectly fine hardworking people who might end up glum when they google their businesses hoping to find good reviews from the public. so if a mod reads this can you please do that?

meanwhile, "the groper and his misses" is a terrible name for a fish and chip shop.

estela, Thursday, 29 March 2012 11:36 (seven years ago) link

OMG Taco

they have a "WTF Menu" where the "WTF" stands for "Wow, That's Fresh"

Oat Drink (crüt), Thursday, 29 March 2012 11:45 (seven years ago) link

i-cream (an ice cream shop)

tanuki, Thursday, 29 March 2012 11:51 (seven years ago) link

I've always thought that a little more thought should've been put into the name of Raper RV. Yes, I understand that it's your last name, but still.

Calvin Coolranch (Deric W. Haircare), Thursday, 29 March 2012 11:56 (seven years ago) link

'Fishcoteque' always makes me smile when I cycle past, there's that taxidermy place around Angel called 'Get Stuffed'

pagan diskow (Crackle Box), Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:06 (seven years ago) link

There's a builder's van I see in Exeter occasionally which has the legend "For a big erection, call 01392 [etc]". sadly I think the 'company' name is just his name appended with 'builder'.

There used to be a kebab shop in Leeds called Kebabylon, iirc.

Sick Mouthy (Scik Mouthy), Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:06 (seven years ago) link

In Northern Finland there is a swamp area whose name is "Äteritsiputeritsipuolilautatsijänkä"; it comes from the Sami language spoken by the indigenous people of the area. In the neighbouring town, someone thought it would be a funny idea to name a bar (which has since closed) after the swamp:

http://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiedosto:Ateritsiputeritsipuolilautatsibaari.jpg

According to Wikipedia, they didn't answer with the phone with the full name of the bar, just "Äteritsi bar".

Tuomas, Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:15 (seven years ago) link

Sorry, the pic didn't work in the previous post:

http://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiedosto:Ateritsiputeritsipuolilautatsibaari.jpg

Tuomas, Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:16 (seven years ago) link

Eh, looks like Wikipedia doesn't support hotlinking anymore.

Tuomas, Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:16 (seven years ago) link

Hopefully this one works:

http://www.veikkovasama.net/blogikuvat/baarin_nimi.jpg

Tuomas, Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:17 (seven years ago) link

haha

estela, Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:20 (seven years ago) link

http://images.travelpod.com/users/emmab/italy.1206088380.big_tits_restaurantx_tampere.jpg

Here's another Finnish restaurant, though I guess it's more "painfully honest" than "horribly formed".

Tuomas, Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:22 (seven years ago) link

it comes from the Sami language spoken by the indigenous people of the area

Rosie 47 (ken c), Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:24 (seven years ago) link

I've always thought that a little more thought should've been put into the name of Raper RV.

I spent two years living in Missouri as a kid, was inundated with Tom Raper RV commercials ALL THE TIME.

jpattzlovevampz 2 hours ago (Phil D.), Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:24 (seven years ago) link

there is one of those quasi-apple store reseller places near me named St0rmfr0nt which bugs the shit out of me. Would you open a store without googling the name to see if, oh I dunno, if might have some bad connotations first?

Thoughts? You must have loads. (a hoy hoy), Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:30 (seven years ago) link

Maybe they only sell white Power Macs?

Valéry Giscard d'Staind (NickB), Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:32 (seven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxoD_1I6S_A

this is about a shop on the other side of town although the company seems to be based in Shropshire and has a number of outlets in the UK

Cantera: Vulgar Display Of Puyol (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:33 (seven years ago) link

Lol at sellfridges. Crackle box - fishcoteque always made me smile too.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:37 (seven years ago) link

There's a textiles shop in town called 'Basket of Threads'. Before that, it was 'The Sewing Machine Box'. Ouch.

Scary Move 4 (dog latin), Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:38 (seven years ago) link

really grim chip shop called "fish plaice", looking at the pun on the shopfront is like seeing the ghost of a child in a dying old man's angry gnarled face.

I'm going to allow this! (LocalGarda), Thursday, 29 March 2012 12:50 (seven years ago) link

Though it does remind me of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoACQCJWx10

Stoop Crone (Trayce), Tuesday, 13 November 2018 05:46 (nine months ago) link

In Renfrew, near the Renfrew Ferry.

https://lds.localdataimages.com/large/2358/23588780.jpg

ROCK MUSIC (Tom D.), Tuesday, 13 November 2018 10:21 (nine months ago) link

oh that's good

kinder, Tuesday, 13 November 2018 10:30 (nine months ago) link

one month passes...

THE GREATFULL BREAD SANDWICH SHOP. Warwick, RI

ian, Tuesday, 18 December 2018 02:38 (eight months ago) link

two months pass...

wow

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 18 February 2019 20:20 (six months ago) link

Not Very Shoes

steven, soda jerk (sic), Monday, 18 February 2019 20:33 (six months ago) link

'Going To The Dogs' Dog Grooming

https://goo.gl/maps/KK1Fv7SEeWu

Yes, it has 'dog' in the name. But doesn't the saying imply that the shop is getting shitter? Also incorrect if just taken literally, if anything the dogs should be going there.

S-, Thursday, 21 February 2019 02:30 (five months ago) link

Maybe the dogs do the grooming?

pplains, Thursday, 21 February 2019 02:32 (five months ago) link

we have a new furniture place around here called Cost Plus Furniture. i don't like it. you'll pay for it...and then some more? it will cost you.

andrew m., Thursday, 21 February 2019 15:10 (five months ago) link

I cycle past this coach every day, their name isn't even a pun, it's an abomination.

http://www.milkentravel.com/images/headerlogo.jpg

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 21 February 2019 15:13 (five months ago) link

Pick me up a pint of semi-skimmed and a week in the Algarve, please.

brain (krakow), Thursday, 21 February 2019 15:31 (five months ago) link

food cart in my town called "STFU & NOM" - yeah, I'll pass

sold out in presale (sleeve), Thursday, 21 February 2019 16:18 (five months ago) link

It's bad enough that one of our biggest national restaurant chains is called "EAT."

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 21 February 2019 16:22 (five months ago) link

Well, ok then. It doesn't have a bad pun or double entendre. I just hate it.

https://i.imgur.com/OtlyBkX.png

I hate "names" that are URLs. I hate the imperative phrasing of it. I hate the personal "my" aspect.

I don't even like the catfish wearing a hat with a hook on it.

pplains, Thursday, 21 February 2019 16:37 (five months ago) link

Pacha Soap - Dirty Hippy

https://cdn-cosmos.bluesoft.com.br/products/813723011334

nickn, Wednesday, 27 February 2019 21:48 (five months ago) link

Which of these is more offensive to ILXors in terms of name formation?

https://www.mywineguy.com.au/
https://www.yourgrocer.com.au/

S-, Monday, 4 March 2019 05:40 (five months ago) link

I'm not crazy about either of them, since their both assigning "ownership" to the consumer.

But mywineguy is gets extra demerits for bad grammar and intent since it isn't as clear whose "wine guy" were talking about here. Is it me, when I type "my wine guy" into the browser? Or is the owner of the URL?

Or is it Mary Wells?

pplains, Monday, 4 March 2019 15:32 (five months ago) link

OMG, "since they're both assigning..."

I hate grammar threads!

pplains, Monday, 4 March 2019 15:33 (five months ago) link

one month passes...

This sport/camping/outdoor chain of stores we have in Belgium and France is just called A.S. Adventure (their former name was "American Stockhouse," hence the A.S.)
but I can't read their website https://www.asadventure.com/en/stores.html as anything other than A Sad Venture :(

StanM, Saturday, 20 April 2019 08:18 (three months ago) link

lol

breastcrawl, Saturday, 20 April 2019 08:26 (three months ago) link

Haha

Got your butt drank (Neanderthal), Saturday, 20 April 2019 12:34 (three months ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/Per64KA.jpg

assadventures

pplains, Saturday, 20 April 2019 13:55 (three months ago) link

a sad assad, even

StanM, Saturday, 20 April 2019 14:25 (three months ago) link

When I lived in Albuquerque there was a store called Purse-anality. I could never figure out why they went with an 'a' instead of an 'o'.

geoffreyess, Saturday, 20 April 2019 15:18 (three months ago) link

Southend-on-Sea, vaping shop.

https://www.puffdade.com/shop/img/st/9.jpg

Do you like 70s hard rock with a guitar hero? (Tom D.), Sunday, 21 April 2019 16:01 (three months ago) link

brilliant

visiting, Sunday, 21 April 2019 16:24 (three months ago) link

four weeks pass...

Holy Crêpe

mick signals, Monday, 20 May 2019 21:15 (two months ago) link

Would go from 'horribly' to 'brilliantly' formed if that's next door to or across the road from a place of worship.

brain (krakow), Monday, 20 May 2019 21:20 (two months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Sorry, but just to err on the side of caution my children will not be crossing the threshold of Your Child is Mine Preschool, thankuverymuch.

Morrie Antoilette (Old Lunch), Thursday, 13 June 2019 14:01 (two months ago) link

ahahahaha

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 13 June 2019 14:51 (two months ago) link

Apparently, at one time, it was a lingerie shop.

https://i.imgur.com/fGeMf4g.png

Now it's just creepy as hell.

pplains, Saturday, 15 June 2019 02:25 (two months ago) link

Spotted in Bordeaux

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CAOGKeCUkAA632h.png

vanjie wail (qiqing), Sunday, 16 June 2019 10:15 (two months ago) link

Terrible, but it works slightly better with a thick French accent since the 'd' and 's' of 'bâtards' are both silent.

pomenitul, Sunday, 16 June 2019 10:24 (two months ago) link

'Greyed A Greyhounds'

...You didn't need to do that. That didn't need to happen.

Top Number One Most Of Smart (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 25 June 2019 13:51 (one month ago) link

There's an optometrist here called AccessorEyes.

nickn, Tuesday, 25 June 2019 16:53 (one month ago) link

two weeks pass...

Dog grooming shop called 'Going To The Dogs'. As it's a shop and not a mobile service are they just saying their shop is run-down and shit?

S-, Saturday, 13 July 2019 12:54 (one month ago) link

four weeks pass...

not a horrible name, but a marquee. Local Animal Hospital has a marquee that says

"WATCH ME SNIP
WATCH ME SPAY SPAY"

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Saturday, 10 August 2019 17:56 (one week ago) link

no

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 10 August 2019 18:28 (one week ago) link

felt so ripped off. there were no gold in them trenches

i'd rather zing like a man, than FP like a coward (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 13 August 2019 02:18 (five days ago) link

If your poo is gold, you need to get the fuck out of Lollapalooza or whatever and see a doctor ASAP.

Allergic to Calvin (I M Losted), Tuesday, 13 August 2019 02:21 (five days ago) link

I recently discovered that there’s a gift shop in NJ called Flowers in the Attic.

tokyo rosemary, Tuesday, 13 August 2019 03:36 (five days ago) link

This is probably less a horribly-formed 'name' than it is an inexplicable-yet-amazing combination of name + business purview but

Life For Christ Karate Ministries

Amply Drizzled with Pure Luxury (Old Lunch), Friday, 16 August 2019 14:32 (two days ago) link

I see all sorts of religion out there on the dojo.

pplains, Friday, 16 August 2019 18:09 (two days ago) link

Granted, it runs a little more Eastern than whatever this is:

https://i.imgur.com/z3x890E.jpg

pplains, Friday, 16 August 2019 18:10 (two days ago) link

i'm always driving when i pass this place so no photos but here is their website

http://ubadautodetail.com/

i kind of like the name but i'm not usually in the market for auto detailing. in fact i don't actually know what "auto detailing" entails.

Abigail, Wife of Preserved Fish (rushomancy), Friday, 16 August 2019 23:27 (two days ago) link


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