local businesses with horribly formed "names"

"dog barfs" (mobile dog hydrobaths service)
"rug rage" (floor covering specialists)
"final pest solutions" (pest control)
"ashmore exhaust no muff too tuff" (car wholesaling and motor vehicle parts manufacturing)

also there is a florist which has "GIVE HER ONE TONIGHT" in huge letters on the side of the building
and a plumber's van with "I'LL FIND YOUR WET SPOT" painted on it

from my hometown:
"24 Hour Custom Slaughter"

there used to be a shabby mexican restaurant called 'la cucaracha' but it is gone now
and an old motel called 'casablanca' that was painted pink

what is custom slaughter?

It was a place that would come cut up your livestock.

"La Cucaracha" reminds me of the Boise restaurant "The El Gringo," which advertised itself as "home of the six foot burrito."

The Framing Dragon

someone should set up a worldwide chain of creative advice bureaus for people who think things sound catchy.

Cutting Remarks - a hairdresser, presumably one who gives you insult-worthy haircuts

Nails That Are Noticeable

there is a gas station near our house, located on cutting blvd, called CUTTING GAS.

In Bremerton, Washington there is (was) a dog grooming place called Doggy Style

I guess that's pretty well formed, just in somewhat poor taste

In my town some bright bulb chose to open an asian fusion cuisine restaurant, naming it: fuAsian. <-- no joke.

The Framing Dragon

please tell me this is run by framers of Chinese descent

fuAsian is just plain hopeless.

There is a shop specialising in Indian confectionary here in Glasgow called "Decent Sweets". Ironically their sweets are actually delicious.

i admire their modesty.

Absolutely! It always makes me smile. In Glasgow "Nae Bad Sweets" would have been even better though.

http://cdn.randomfunnypicture.com/pictures/1771bad-restaurant-name-15.jpg

The drive-thru bottle shop at the Dick Whittington tavern down the road is called DICK LIQUOR

JIZZ FASHION

there's also Lick Her Store on oxford st in sydney

There was also a Big Duck n Fish company store in Malvern - it made big plates/ceramics.

electricsound posted this the other day on another thread:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2328/2444755092_9296a89496.jpg

There was a pub here that they did a horrible job of updating and unfortunately they renamed it Fubar

Hahahahah estela :D

This is my favorite named shop ever though some might think it horrible (THEY WOULD BE WRONG). In London by Waterloo station:

http://www.london-se1.co.uk/restaurants/images/040129_fishcotheque.jpg

The Jazz Butcher agrees...

http://flashback.co.uk/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/l/f/lfb20934.jpg

http://www.hifi-writer.com/blog/graphics/sneeds.jpg

i just had a pang that maybe this thread should be deindexed because some of these businesses are quite small and probably run by perfectly fine hardworking people who might end up glum when they google their businesses hoping to find good reviews from the public. so if a mod reads this can you please do that?

meanwhile, "the groper and his misses" is a terrible name for a fish and chip shop.

OMG Taco

they have a "WTF Menu" where the "WTF" stands for "Wow, That's Fresh"

i-cream (an ice cream shop)

I've always thought that a little more thought should've been put into the name of Raper RV. Yes, I understand that it's your last name, but still.

'Fishcoteque' always makes me smile when I cycle past, there's that taxidermy place around Angel called 'Get Stuffed'

There's a builder's van I see in Exeter occasionally which has the legend "For a big erection, call 01392 [etc]". sadly I think the 'company' name is just his name appended with 'builder'.

There used to be a kebab shop in Leeds called Kebabylon, iirc.

In Northern Finland there is a swamp area whose name is "Äteritsiputeritsipuolilautatsijänkä"; it comes from the Sami language spoken by the indigenous people of the area. In the neighbouring town, someone thought it would be a funny idea to name a bar (which has since closed) after the swamp:

http://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiedosto:Ateritsiputeritsipuolilautatsibaari.jpg

According to Wikipedia, they didn't answer with the phone with the full name of the bar, just "Äteritsi bar".

Sorry, the pic didn't work in the previous post:

http://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiedosto:Ateritsiputeritsipuolilautatsibaari.jpg

Eh, looks like Wikipedia doesn't support hotlinking anymore.

Hopefully this one works:

http://www.veikkovasama.net/blogikuvat/baarin_nimi.jpg

in stokey
http://noisydecentgraphics.typepad.com/design/images/2008/01/31/dsc00125.jpg

haha

http://images.travelpod.com/users/emmab/italy.1206088380.big_tits_restaurantx_tampere.jpg

Here's another Finnish restaurant, though I guess it's more "painfully honest" than "horribly formed".

it comes from the Sami language spoken by the indigenous people of the area

I've always thought that a little more thought should've been put into the name of Raper RV.

I spent two years living in Missouri as a kid, was inundated with Tom Raper RV commercials ALL THE TIME.

there is one of those quasi-apple store reseller places near me named St0rmfr0nt which bugs the shit out of me. Would you open a store without googling the name to see if, oh I dunno, if might have some bad connotations first?

Maybe they only sell white Power Macs?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxoD_1I6S_A

this is about a shop on the other side of town although the company seems to be based in Shropshire and has a number of outlets in the UK

Lol at sellfridges. Crackle box - fishcoteque always made me smile too.

There's a textiles shop in town called 'Basket of Threads'. Before that, it was 'The Sewing Machine Box'. Ouch.

really grim chip shop called "fish plaice", looking at the pun on the shopfront is like seeing the ghost of a child in a dying old man's angry gnarled face.

the one by ASU was the original i think. always packed with college students.

tighten up, hippies!

Don't worry, already called the police

https://i.ibb.co/9r6Ps15/IMG-20210522-120931.jpg

Not businesses, but food products i've seen in stores lately:

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51rN8OBMwNL._SX300_SY300_QL70_FMwebp_.jpg

https://www.aisleofshame.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/whiskey-cheddar-cheese-e1575911227843.jpg
https://sureketo.com/images/caulipower-italian-sausage-vegetable-cauliflower-pizza.jpg

Near where I live:

https://www.fyple.biz/imagecustom/190418/The%20Bust%20Stop.jpg9f14ff49-2a8a-464f-84b6-386b831edc7a-big.jpg

Not a local business and not (I don't think) a deliberate pun, but

https://soyface.illinois.edu/

What is SoyFACE?
SoyFACE (Soybean Free Air Concentration Enrichment) is an innovative facility for growing crops under production field conditions in an atmosphere that has higher levels of carbon dioxide and ozone, higher temperature and altered soil water availability. SoyFACE was designed to discover the effects of atmospheric change on the agronomy and productivity of Midwestern crops as well as to find solutions that will lead to crops better adapted to this future.

https://i.ibb.co/wRGnK9z/20220702-194013.jpg

I've learned that "'Abba' signifies the close, intimate relationship of a father and his child, as well as the childlike trust that a young child puts in his 'daddy',” but this pamphlet struck me as funny when I first saw it (and didn't know).

https://store.davarkg.com/en/wp-content/uploads/CS-Abba-is-my-God-01-E.jpg

(It's a Christian thing at a local church.)

It's just the Hebrew word for father...still weird.

Yeah, but the font references the band, right? So maybe there is some kind of "wink, wink" going on. It is apparently a Japanese-American Christian church.

Dees Mutts Dog Grooming

Raze that place to the ground

http://www.deezbuttsbbq.com/
trigger warning if you click through

not local and not their name, but...

https://www.instagram.com/volkswagenitalia/

wow. took me a second

https://i.imgur.com/ebWzPxb.jpg

https://stinkypantsfishing.com/

https://fastly.4sqi.net/img/general/width960/7440763_Q0_BFqge5948eANrVJwioPvy2pQLcW1wew1Q1xW1uKI.jpg

The 14 Most Punny Pho Restaurant Names in Pho-king History

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/feb/04/refuse-firm-lord-of-the-bins-ordered-to-change-its-name-by-tolkien-franchise

Horribly formed to the point of legal altercation.

I noticed this place when I was in Hastings last year:

https://sites.create-cdn.net/siteimages/72/8/1/728172/19/8/9/19894031/540x690.jpeg?1648211459

They should really move a few doors up the street (however many 30 numbers is).

I passed by one of my favorites the other day: the salon-barbershop SHEAR PANDEMONIUM

It took me fully 5 minutes of rumination after driving past this store to figure out what they were going for: a store called SCRAPENDIPITY

All I could see was “scrape” and I was totally stumped for a bit.

I was waiting at a bus stop in the summer, opposite a shop called KATASTROPHIES. They sold what looked like shit trophies for Sunday league football teams. Admirable project, dreadful name.

Yeah, they should have called it Cat Ass Trophies and had every trophy be in the shape of a cat's bumhole.

wait, kata is short for katarina and a fairly common name both in sweden and across the slavic countries. kata's trophies would be an excellently formed name!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPU0TAwxKM8

(i will never miss the chance to post kate nv videos)

Lmao emil.y

Lol emil.y. And by the look of the shop, Kata's Trophies was *way* beyond them as a construction.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FprdoLZWcAIkUbc?format=jpg&name=medium

There's a brewery called Dynasty Brewing.

Their social media handle, however, is @brewdynasty.

I cannot stop reading it as "brew de nasty."

Your branding > theirs

I’m in Florida right now and just saw a portable toilet from a company named Knight Jon Boy

Wok This Way

San Antonio Tx

how is business name formed?

Saw this a couple of weeks ago. Not horribly formed so much as weirdly formed. A) doesn't need an adjective ii) why THAT adjective?

https://i.imgur.com/z8gM4MD.jpg

KJ was not available for comment.

there is a car-towing company named Tow Jam

KJ's Roomy Footwear: Blisteringly Low Prices!

“She is the founder of healthy cooking and recipe website Sunee, the co-founder of creative production agency House of Groms and co-host of podcast The Healthcode alongside her husband Tilse.”

I mean, roomy footwear is a good thing, as long as it's not too roomy.

I am told that there was an old woman who totally like LIVED in a shoe. I hope it was roomy.

It was pretty cramped until she beat her kids and sent them to bed.

Roomy *is* good, I guess, but there are a few things you want straight before *roomy* is a consideration.

can’t think of the best place for it, but this youtube video for a local punk record and clothing shop made me absolutely lose my fucking mind laughing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMMAO8uH5wk

reminded me that I still need a vinyl copy of My War which is inexplicably expensive in the UK, damn you Ginnnnnnnn!

Talk about horribly formed!

https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/comments/11yyvfs/

(It doesn't help much to know the sign is in French)