Real England

The Bill Oddie thing was that early humour website called b3ta (was it?) and they had a clip of Madonna's Erotica with the words "Bill Oddie, Bill Oddie, rub your hands all over my body" instead of "Erotic, Erotic (same)". There was something to do with Alf Garnet and Independent Woman, as well but it's not coming back to me.

Oh I remembered it as I hit submit. It was

Shoes on my feet
Alf Garnet
Clothes I'm wearing
Alf Garnet
Rock I'm rocking
Alf Garnet
etc.

"early humour"

As opposed to the modern day's highly evolved online humour.

Ogmios School of Zen Motoring is my favourite thing for a long time. Thanks for that link.

wish every driver was ogmios

I find it very moving.

I try to maintain a suitable state of zen while hoping for a new video.

Still laughing at 'Battle Of Britain Memorial Sausage'.

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/800/cpsprodpb/131DF/production/_114330387_capture.jpg

A row broke out in an online public meeting when a councillor turned up wearing a large pair of sunglasses. Independent Stephen Aylen said he was sporting the distinctive eyewear to stop screen glare during Thursday's Southend Borough Council meeting.

Mayor John Lamb said although councillors logged on from home, wearing sunglasses was like drinking or smoking, and was disrespectful.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-54122362

There's new Ogmios!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lo3tSswZV7Q

Saving that for a bad day

There are so many quotable lines "lives to inhale the gas from a NOS balloon another day", "they think they're invincible just because they're from the future"

Ogmios is so great. I could watch that 24/7.

My local Morrison’s is selling actual sacks of wet eggs. This is the most wretched and cursed item I have ever witnessed pic.twitter.com/bghKxOUxXu

— Strumpet (Sexy Trumpet) (@TrumpetSexy) September 16, 2020

something doesn't add up, there's way more than 5 eggs in those bags

They look like those white eggs you see in American movies from my phone

xp thread suggests that they’re leftovers because they couldn’t split them up into the five packs before expiry, so they’re selling the sacks to get rid

Are you sure they aren't boiled eggs (as disgusting an idea that it is) , because they look too white.

Oh yes they are omg!

They are boiled eggs yeah, normally packaged differently as part of a packed lunch. Tbh you could make a batch of egg mayo with them, maybe cater a small gathering oops

Lol why I did I think there would shelled eggs in a bag? I don't rule anything out these days! Christ imagine the smell when you open it.

Relevant

https://youtu.be/9pRxJXlePmY

I only fuck with freshly boiled balls of corruption. That shit is for degen pub landlords to put in their pickle jar and unfit for human consumption.

I love an egg but sports science bros have put me off a bit

If you were to chop them up into a rice stir fry or a curry you probably couldn't tell the difference between them and fresh ones. But it would be the knowing that would make me feel queasy.

Nah they'd be lovely, put hairs on your chest

12 egg heart attack might finish you tho

Either that or a constipated/egg bound stroke the next day whilst straining on the lavatory!

You eat that whole bag you're not passing solids for a week, pro tip for if music festivals ever come back

Lool!

Those egg bags are being described as Real England here and elsewhere but they are pretty much the most NYC corner store things I’ve ever seen. The only difference is in New York they’d have them at the till for impulse purchase, not on a shelf.

in a large glass jar.

Do you have to buy the whole jar or can you just get one scooped out and plonked in a packet of crisps?

To be fair, and this might be a false memory, it’s so log ago, but I do remember hearing someone order “two chip butties, a pickled egg and a can of Fanta” in a chip shop at the bottom of greystones road once.

my local chippy has a jar of pickled eggs, but they are just for show!

such peacocks!

pretentious bastards!

tbh the proprietor is a former British army master chef who used to be Prince Andrew's personal cook, but he doesn't like to talk about it as much as when he opened the shop now. He does special meal deals for kids called "Alfies" which makes me lol for god knows what reason, but when you hear someone calling the order: "and two Alfies as well please Paul" in a broad Yorkshire accent it makes me giddy and want to lol!

Not one mention of the eggs looking like they are on a normal shelf and not in a fridge

I assumed it was a refrigerated shelf, wtf!

It's a hard pass from me. pic.twitter.com/tNU1xDFop7

— Sir Edward (@sir_dward) September 17, 2020

Lol well played

I think it is good ugly-shaming Brendan because it forces him as a bullshit-persona rugged-individualist libertarian into an awkward corner where he doesn't know to respond without his whole universe unwinding. But there is too much of it going about on social media right now imo. Loads of good and terrible people aren't classically handsome or might be struggling with their weight, or have a bent broken big nose or receding hairlines (it me!). Indiscriminate appearance shaming from lefty twitter seems to be on the rise and i don't think it is healthy imo.

I'm mainly sensitive to this because I used to get stopped for police line-ups that consisted of 30+ year old blokes when I was 19!

My husband has just walked the 226-mile Thames Path from source to mouth. And what’s at the end? This. pic.twitter.com/iwaspNTXEz

— isolatie katie (@pipterino) September 20, 2020

Durham University has withdrawn a student’s place after an investigation into “utterly abhorrent” comments on social media.

It launched the inquiry after it came to light that wealthy prospective freshers supposedly planned to hold a competition to have sex with the poorest student they could find. Other comments discussed drugs and concerns about being accused of rape. One wrote that he would “sleep with a different bird every night just for a bed”.

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2020/sep/23/durham-university-withdraws-freshers-place-over-abhorrent-online-posts

Nonce ant

https://c.yell.com/t_galleryFit,f_auto/465da2f3-1c25-4a15-8fb4-53cdb9c64bb5_image_jpeg.jpg

was listening to Mobeen Azhar's Hometown doc on 5live earlier and my ears pricked up when Mr Sparkles was mentioned. If ever there will be heritage tourism in Dewsbury this legendary heroin traffickers' carwash is almost as iconic as the police station building where both Peter Sutcliffe and Craig Meehan were arrested! He used to also have a laundering shop round the corner from my house called Mountain Stores, locally known as the "inconvenience store" because all it had for sale was ciggies, a few stacks of mars bars and cans of warm carling black label.

it’s a good doc. there’s an iPlayer version as well.