Real England

Damn son.

inventive excuse for murdering somebody

why go into all that when you're going to off yourself anyway though?

well now i'm gonna be haunted by that now too, fucking hell

it's like the start of a junji ito story

or an emo ji story

😀🌱😟🌿😠🤔✍️📫🕰🌿🌱🌿😡✍️📫📆🌿🌱🌿🌱🌱🌿😱👹☠️

You can spray, or inject, herbicides into its stem, but this takes six months so you'll have to be patient. And rich, too - this can cost £1,500 for just a small patch of the weed
It has really a wide-ranging root system, which can extend up to 3m in depth and 7m in all directions. These can pose a serious threat to construction works and have devastating consequences to building foundations and drains.
If you are found to be failing to stop the spread of the plant, you can be issued with an Antisocial Behaviour Order - yes, an ASBO. Under these orders, you could be fined up to £2,500.

Japanese Knotweed doesn't fuck about!

true but that said i'm p sure there is not one documented case of it actually wrecking a foundation

When people are charging £1500 to kill a small patch of weed, it is probably a handy myth. If I'd have got obsessed with it I would have just dug like fuck with a pickax + shovel until every last root was gone. I don't really buy this guy's suicide note and explanation for murder.

jesus that's some awful story, it's the perfume bottle detail that gives it a proper Real England tragic flavour.

inventive excuse for murdering somebody

yeah, that story is now officially in my soul for good, jesus christ

omg estela ffs lol

When people are charging £1500 to kill a small patch of weed, it is probably a handy myth. If I'd have got obsessed with it I would have just dug like fuck with a pickax + shovel until every last root was gone. I don't really buy this guy's suicide note and explanation for murder.

― calzino, Sunday, October 8, 2017 11:10 PM (twenty-six minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I choose to believe the note because of the unbearably sad notion of the ever-growing weed as metaphor for it growing over his brain, smothering his him. Last drop 'Falling down' style.

Also, lol Estela.

"Jane and I were a very private couple, we chose to have no real friends, just enjoying each other.
"But the despair has got so bad that I have killed her, as I did not want her to be alone without income when I killed myself."

Sigh, one of these fucking guys

such a thoughtful chap

killing your wife because of your impending japanese-knotweed-related suicide: insecure or thoughtful?

he saved her the bother of having to make a decision about it

he sat with the body for two days? must've smelled like a chanel house in there

nice

https://d26dzxoao6i3hh.cloudfront.net/items/1v3p362Q2T2d06400b3M/realengland.jpg

Liver so sage

(love the photo)

pressed veal is the archeological find here imo

from cooks.com:

PRESSED VEAL

2 lbs. veal
1 lb. pork (fresh lean)

or

3 lbs veal
2 lbs pork

Do not chop. Put on to boil and cover with water; boil until only 1 cup of liquid remains.

Pull apart with a fork and pack into a small bread tin. Season with salt and pepper and onion juice, if desired.

Cover with oil paper and press with a flat iron.

This is a very old recipe passed down from Minnesota relatives.

Submitted by: Emma Walsh

i sometimes make a terrine which is a fancier version of this but i never use veal as nowhere sells it any longer

Waitrose sells veal.

What is 'onion juice'? I can make an educated guess, but suspect I'll be wrong.

if you put an onion or five through a blender and then press the resulting paste through a fine sieve then i suspect that is what we are after

one for the troo headz there

Their bodies were discovered at their £170,000 home

fuck you, the Telegraph

quite. still laughing at Tracer Hand's emoji story here.

the ritual declaration of the house price reminds me a bit of medieval deathbot's ritual declaration of the weapon price

A stranger, killed in 1363 by Henry Gibel, who did strike him in the body with a knife. The knife was worth one penny.

— Medieval Death Bot (@DeathMedieval) June 23, 2015

that valuation might be a little optimistic what with the knotweed and the murder-suicide

imagine the indignity of getting killed by a very heavy sheaf of wheat back then.

Did we ever have

Find The Bastard Who Shat Down My Chimney!

http://www.infiniteunknown.net/2015/02/28/find-the-bastard-who-shat-down-my-chimney/

oops sorry for bad formatting

@Joey7Barton Hi Joey. My names Shaun Williamson. I used to play Barry Evans in Eastenders. Can I send you a private message please?

— Shaun Williamson (@ShaunWilliamson) October 18, 2017

lol

Expect to see him in the next Morrissey video.

Haha

Williamson looking for a good betting quote

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2017/oct/21/collapsing-wakefield-city-academies-trust-asset-stripped-schools-millions-say-furious-parents

real England baby, get used to it

I got v little sympathy, every middle class parent in the country is dealing with the devil when it comes to secondary schools

i'm wondering more how you raise 200K with bake sales...?

still, the naked criminality is breathtaking imo

I am going to abandon my plan to become a drug dealer and try and get into this academy school board of directors hustle. Far more lucrative, and probably almost zero chance of a prison sentence.

That article seems like it’s barely scratching the surface. No suggestion of fraud?!? Then where did the money go?

Extremely real sounding hostage situation at bowling alley on Bermuda retail park Nuneaton happening now

Bermuda Park leisure complex, rather

Sounds like toxic masculinity at play rather than terrorism.

Asked if the gunman was known to staff at the bowling alley, he said: “We believe from what my manageress tells me that he is an ex-husband or a boyfriend of a member of staff. That is what I know. I can’t confirm that for definite.”

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/oct/22/hostage-situation-reported-bermuda-park-nuneaton-retail-park-police-ongoing-situation

I'm p comfortable calling most terrorism a subset of toxic masculinity tbh