Real England

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

where is it and what does it look like

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:12 (eight years ago) link

Raymond Williams says somewhere that most people who live in it live in quite small towns, but there is next to no significant literature about same.

Of course he was writing before Midsomer Murders aired.

http://i1.trekearth.com/photos/64476/dscf1947scrsfr.jpg

^^^wiltshire apparently (i'm not sure i know where wiltshire actually is) < /the lex >

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:16 (eight years ago) link

i don't know how the demographics break down now but i wd say that a significant majority at least want to live in quite small towns. also i suspect quite small towns are increasingly really dissipated cities.

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:19 (eight years ago) link

Anyone bothered with Paul Kingsnorth's book on this very subject?

Lars and the Lulu Girl (NickB), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:21 (eight years ago) link

but y'knaa this whole problematic word "Real" - is this intended sarcastically, like is this thread about "what are the sort of people who use the phrase 'Real England' talking about?" or are we positing a defining core of Englishness that has history and still survives however tenuous?

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:21 (eight years ago) link

i think it would be facetious to pretend the issue can be approached entirely unfacetiously

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:22 (eight years ago) link

i was not aware of paul kingsnorth but now i see he has written a book called real england colon something else, i would guess it isn't the only book/treatise/pamphlet with similar title

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:23 (eight years ago) link

work filter has thoughtfully blocked access to my first google search result, some blog with the delightfully making-me-want-to-stab-the-author subtitle "The Battle Against the Bland". i assure you guys if there is a Real England it is not battling against The Bland and that is an excellent virtue in itself.

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:24 (eight years ago) link

oh right, that is the subtitle of Kingsnorth's book. okay then i will probably never read it since i infer from the book's post-colonage that the guy is a big douche.

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:24 (eight years ago) link

the usual English attention to the wrong details

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:25 (eight years ago) link

and some sadness for stuff passing that has not passed or was not what he claims it was before it passed

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:26 (eight years ago) link

is john terry 'real england' dyou suppose

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:27 (eight years ago) link

i infer from the book's post-colonage that the guy is a big douche.

― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:24 (1 minute ago)

h but f, nv, h but f

basically i was looking at the squad list for peterbrough town and noticed ryan tunnicliffe and lee frecklington and thought maybe those names were shibboleths that uttered in a certain way might usher you into the innermost real england

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:27 (eight years ago) link

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01185/arts-graphics-2008_1185572a.jpg

the city hobgoblin as a good place to start! (of course he said british not english, right, re the wrong detail)

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:35 (eight years ago) link

"... heir to an immense fortune, gifted by nature with a mind susceptible of noble cultivation, and a body endowed with admirable physical powers with the wretched drunkard who died in a gaol at the age of thirty-eight, a worn-out debauchee and drivelling sot... " <-- i am this very second ensconced in the village that surnamed this regency rake, tho he mainly lived on the other side of shrewsbury

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:41 (eight years ago) link

nigel farage isn't real btw, he speaks for only his own constituency, which is seldom more than symbolic

is there a real england that is incapable of any sort of assimilation into colonned literature? a planar england that resists signification or commodification by interlopers from other englands

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:43 (eight years ago) link

south dublin iirc

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:44 (eight years ago) link

leatherhead is a promotory over a large and brackish inland sea that is never spoken of

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:45 (eight years ago) link

beneath the leylines, the true underground

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:46 (eight years ago) link

"Winter, 1981: the headless, skinned bodies of two bears are found by the River Lea."

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:51 (eight years ago) link

real england is all mates and and blood sausage and big bottomed birds reading thew newsie-wewsies

max, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:57 (eight years ago) link

nah it's hedgerows and birds and complete lack of public services

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:08 (eight years ago) link

Oh it's all about the public services nowadays; a bus to take you into town so you can spend all night trawling the happy hour bars, a streetcleaner to mop up your vomit from the pavement, a policeman to give you a place to spend the night. No-one needed public services when an evening's entertainment consisted of watching the sun set over a russet autumnal hedgerow, lulled into a reverie by the carefree birdsong.

ceci n'est pas un nom d'affichage (ledge), Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:17 (eight years ago) link

http://www.photohistory-sussex.co.uk/UckFrisbyPiltdown03.jpg

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:19 (eight years ago) link

"Searching for the Putdown Man"

ceci n'est pas un nom d'affichage (ledge), Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:21 (eight years ago) link

is there a real england that is incapable of any sort of assimilation into colonned literature? a planar england that resists signification or commodification by interlopers from other englands

Interesting question which I wish I could answer.

Ned Trifle X, Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:29 (eight years ago) link

I don't know if I would like that England even.

Ned Trifle X, Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:29 (eight years ago) link

is there a culture that can't be commodified? and i have to be v. v. careful not to paint my cultures, or the cultures i've drifted along the fringes of, as the only real England. the problem is that the word is usually only spoken out loud by a certain kind of cultural capitalist, whose vision of it is just as tangential as mine. bullshit about fair play and honest toil and love of the land that i'd counter with a nation of sneak thiefs, factionalists and urban wastrels. the contestedness is always part of the Reality of the nation, any nation really.

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:39 (eight years ago) link

for every sleepy Sunday C of E-attending agnostic Tory there's an apocalypse-welcoming hair-splitting anabaptist

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:41 (eight years ago) link

Everywhere north of Enfield is basically a wasteland isn't it? Brrrr... Nothing there. Just a man collecting lumps of mud and putting them into a cloth bag.

Glo-Vember (dog latin), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:42 (eight years ago) link

yeah but the determination of that which is essential need not be a question of mere majorities

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:43 (eight years ago) link

everybody shd read The Uses of Literacy to see how you can constructively get this wrong in a way that doesn't just mourn real heritage centres. obv Williams and E.P. Thompson and Stuart Hall too

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:43 (eight years ago) link

the determination of that which is essential need not be a question of mere majorities

quite so, how about the British Isles then as a dumping ground/refugee camp/Wild West for Europe and parts south-east, over millenia, fuelling endless negotiation and conflict over territory, and that is the quicksand underneath Real England that we think of as bedrock?

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:46 (eight years ago) link

look mate there's no need to get fucking personal, alright

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:49 (eight years ago) link

btw if i was gonna put forward one Real England it wd be old photographs of works sports teams or outings or other ceremonial jollies

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:49 (eight years ago) link

it would be the commie permawheezing mustachioed drunk one in tinker tailor, tho no doubt they'd have you b'leev it's smiley or haydon

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:52 (eight years ago) link

wait haydon was the commie?

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:54 (eight years ago) link

SPOILERS

nah think he was the aesthete on a protest against the yanks more than anything else, wasn't the dude ciaran hinds played proper lefty in stated methods tho

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:56 (eight years ago) link

the sparking point of Real England is where the plummy port-swilling foxhunter runs up against the chippy millenarian work-dodger and we drink each others' health and promise ourselves deep down that one day our kind will crush theirs

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:57 (eight years ago) link

the phoenicians sailed up round to albion to trade tin for spice before the romans had even got out of bed, and if they weren't trading with aboriginal pre-celt and pre-pict inhabitants, then it was certainly aboriginal+1: an island of proto-druid shopkeepers since time immaterial

stonehenge is actually a kind of cashpoint machine

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:58 (eight years ago) link

xp

oh, Roy Bland. yeah Bland is the angry Puritan I've been talking about, defending his country so's his people can crush the effete Squire class one day

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:59 (eight years ago) link

but mark, who's to say the aborigines hadn't hopped off the boat from Boulogne just ahead of the celts themselves and so on and so forth??

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:00 (eight years ago) link

irish close to turks dna-wise iirc

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:03 (eight years ago) link

i think that's exactly what mark is saying, tbf

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:04 (eight years ago) link

Of all the Tribe of Tegumai
Who cut that figure, none remain
On Merrow Down the cuckoos cry
The silence and the sun remain

xp he's called smiley, he has to be of outlander extraction

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:13 (eight years ago) link

^ I wasn't at that FAP

R. Stornoway (Tom D.), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:34 (eight years ago) link

clun forest all-mercian jug band champions, tractor runs on wattle and daub

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:34 (eight years ago) link

never get away with haircuts like that up in the Danelaw

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:36 (eight years ago) link

real canada

The Pingularity (ledge), Tuesday, 1 October 2019 11:09 (one month ago) link

Line of geese spotted waddling down university's road https://t.co/pMHZYFSJqI pic.twitter.com/vIDPsxzAKA

— BBC East Midlands (@bbcemt) October 2, 2019

mark s, Wednesday, 2 October 2019 16:52 (one month ago) link

That's Notts campus - there are *always* shitloads of geese there. Looks to me like they're heading to the English department under the clocktower... HONK.

emil.y, Wednesday, 2 October 2019 17:12 (one month ago) link

People want Ansers

imago, Wednesday, 2 October 2019 17:17 (one month ago) link

10/10

honk hunk blue (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 October 2019 07:19 (one month ago) link

Guildford time!!!😎 pic.twitter.com/YEK8N1225b

— Luís Figo (@LuisFigo) October 5, 2019

xyzzzz__, Monday, 7 October 2019 14:04 (one month ago) link

Just a normal day in Guildford, someone walking up the High Street in a spacesuit, that's all.

just another country (snoball), Monday, 7 October 2019 15:26 (one month ago) link

omg

imago, Monday, 7 October 2019 15:28 (one month ago) link

Police have kettled a giant octopus on Whitehall and are marching it back to Trafalgar Square. pic.twitter.com/FX89oG8y53

— Liam O'Hare (@Liam_O_Hare) October 9, 2019

living in the heart of the beat (Matt #2), Wednesday, 9 October 2019 14:35 (one month ago) link

Watchmen: The Alternative Ending

living in the heart of the beat (Matt #2), Wednesday, 9 October 2019 14:36 (one month ago) link

why doesn't it just climb up the walls and over them?

Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 9 October 2019 14:36 (one month ago) link

a many-tentacled monster made almost entirely of suckers and an octopus

to regain his mental focus, he played video-game golf (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 9 October 2019 14:40 (one month ago) link

two weeks pass...

Lust. Passion. Tits... and the ultimate betrayal.
A tragic love story in four parts. pic.twitter.com/JuRslq7hPM

— Poppy® Watch (@giantpoppywatch) October 23, 2019

Lock thread.

Srinivasaraghavan VONCataraghavan (ShariVari), Thursday, 24 October 2019 11:31 (four weeks ago) link

dying

Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 24 October 2019 11:53 (four weeks ago) link

i just :O

Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 October 2019 12:06 (four weeks ago) link

Hahahaha

pomenitul, Thursday, 24 October 2019 12:07 (four weeks ago) link

absolutely incredible

@giantpoppywatch's pinned tweet is also fantastic

ME REMEMBER FALLEN! pic.twitter.com/5bipVfUe99

— Poppy® Watch (@giantpoppywatch) November 7, 2016

genre: post-britpop (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 24 October 2019 12:38 (four weeks ago) link

this is what happens when you spend your life avoiding The One Show like tv herpes

Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 24 October 2019 12:39 (four weeks ago) link

ahahahaha

kinder, Thursday, 24 October 2019 13:27 (four weeks ago) link

For many years there have been events held in our local area on Hallowe’en. We have participated each October, handing out sweets and other goodies to children when they knock at the door.

However, my children are now too old to go trick or treating and I don't feel like we should have to spend our money to pay for others.

I got into a heated argument with my neighbour about this, they say I am in the wrong as my children benefited for many years. Should I relent and take part in the festivities?

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/money/consumer-affairs/moral-money-kids-have-left-home-can-stop-wasting-cash-halloween/

Xia Nu del Vague (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 30 October 2019 11:10 (three weeks ago) link

Man 'tried to have sex with a pile of leaves' in a hotel car park https://t.co/YLTjF9oGEV

— Manchester News MEN (@MENnewsdesk) October 31, 2019

Portsmouth Bubblejet, Thursday, 31 October 2019 13:56 (three weeks ago) link

"Michael Golsorkhi was seen 'thrusting' with his trousers around his ankles in full view of families eating at a Beefeater pub in Stockport."

chefskiss.jpg

Le Bateau Ivre, Thursday, 31 October 2019 13:59 (three weeks ago) link

Getting his beef eaten

lefal junglist platton (wtev), Thursday, 31 October 2019 20:46 (three weeks ago) link

Beefeats, shoots, in leaves

just another country (snoball), Thursday, 31 October 2019 20:50 (three weeks ago) link

lmao

non-euclidean lenin (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 31 October 2019 20:56 (three weeks ago) link

Or "shoots in leaves."

nickn, Thursday, 31 October 2019 21:38 (three weeks ago) link

A wonderful way to honour those who died protecting us from fascism. 👏 9/10 pic.twitter.com/mNbEZshC65

— Poppy® Watch (@giantpoppywatch) November 8, 2019

Heavy Messages (jed_), Friday, 8 November 2019 14:13 (two weeks ago) link

beautiful

conrad, Friday, 8 November 2019 15:49 (two weeks ago) link

3 LIONS REMEMBER

Captain ACAB (Neil S), Friday, 8 November 2019 15:53 (two weeks ago) link

yeah i feel like i probably wouldn't wander into the Three Lions by choice anyway

Joe Kulak 😎 (Noodle Vague), Friday, 8 November 2019 16:40 (two weeks ago) link

I'd only go in there with my "al-Baghdadi Jihad Legend" T shirt on

calzino, Friday, 8 November 2019 16:48 (two weeks ago) link

Nice work there from pub landlord Sean Donnelly.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-manchester-50346218

A noisy neighbour who blasted out dance anthem Born Slippy on a loop has been warned he could face jail if he fails to keep the noise down.

Clyde Taylor, 54, ignored official warnings to stop playing the Underworld track in the early hours.

Hi-fi equipment, speakers and an electric guitar were seized from his home in Eccles after repeated breaches of a noise abatement notice.

gyac, Friday, 8 November 2019 22:11 (two weeks ago) link

Nice work there from pub landlord Sean Donnelly.

LOL

'Skills' Wallace (Tom D.), Friday, 8 November 2019 23:07 (two weeks ago) link

The weather is particularly bad in South London.. pic.twitter.com/98ThG1Oz1Z

— Football on BT Sport (@btsportfootball) November 8, 2019

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 8 November 2019 23:38 (two weeks ago) link

Is this bloke the final level Poppy Boss? pic.twitter.com/kofLiXk7QE

— #ProudDaddy Mooms (@Danny_McMoomins) November 9, 2019

calzino, Saturday, 9 November 2019 11:32 (one week ago) link

he'll be sorry when he has to feed it a dentist

deems of internment (darraghmac), Saturday, 9 November 2019 11:36 (one week ago) link

i used to live in bedminster and the nearest pub had a sign in the door written in biro that said "locals only after 8pm". i wonder if any non-locals went in before 8pm.

𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Saturday, 9 November 2019 14:12 (one week ago) link

I once went into a pub with a "customer notice Travellers will not be served here". When I asked the surly landlord if there was a payphone on the premises. He said its just around the corner but your not using it if you are from that bail hostel.

calzino, Saturday, 9 November 2019 14:19 (one week ago) link

Beautiful tribute to our fallen soldiers 😢 pic.twitter.com/gpbZNPpMH5

— Mascots Minute Silence (@MascotSilence) November 9, 2019

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Saturday, 9 November 2019 20:43 (one week ago) link

Map issued to polish aircrew during WW2 to help them pronounce British town names. Thank you one and all. pic.twitter.com/4hxPkC3cFd

— tom newton (@tom_newton1234) November 10, 2019

mark s, Monday, 11 November 2019 18:21 (one week ago) link

omg

imago, Monday, 11 November 2019 18:26 (one week ago) link

that is the best

imago, Monday, 11 November 2019 18:26 (one week ago) link

Note the lack of R's

'Skills' Wallace (Tom D.), Monday, 11 November 2019 18:28 (one week ago) link

I'm Byleryky Dycky and I'm doing very well.

nickn, Monday, 11 November 2019 18:29 (one week ago) link

it's been disputed that it's a WWII map, it's in a book of Soviet-era maps and is said to be in case of a Soviet invasion of Britain

Colonel Poo, Monday, 11 November 2019 19:00 (one week ago) link

It is for Polish speakers though.

'Skills' Wallace (Tom D.), Monday, 11 November 2019 19:08 (one week ago) link

Saufend-on-Sji <<< going with the local pronunciation I see...

just another country (snoball), Monday, 11 November 2019 20:53 (one week ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.