Real England

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where is it and what does it look like

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:12 (seven years ago) Permalink

Raymond Williams says somewhere that most people who live in it live in quite small towns, but there is next to no significant literature about same.

Of course he was writing before Midsomer Murders aired.

http://i1.trekearth.com/photos/64476/dscf1947scrsfr.jpg

^^^wiltshire apparently (i'm not sure i know where wiltshire actually is) < /the lex >

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:16 (seven years ago) Permalink

i don't know how the demographics break down now but i wd say that a significant majority at least want to live in quite small towns. also i suspect quite small towns are increasingly really dissipated cities.

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:19 (seven years ago) Permalink

Anyone bothered with Paul Kingsnorth's book on this very subject?

Lars and the Lulu Girl (NickB), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:21 (seven years ago) Permalink

but y'knaa this whole problematic word "Real" - is this intended sarcastically, like is this thread about "what are the sort of people who use the phrase 'Real England' talking about?" or are we positing a defining core of Englishness that has history and still survives however tenuous?

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:21 (seven years ago) Permalink

i think it would be facetious to pretend the issue can be approached entirely unfacetiously

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:22 (seven years ago) Permalink

i was not aware of paul kingsnorth but now i see he has written a book called real england colon something else, i would guess it isn't the only book/treatise/pamphlet with similar title

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:23 (seven years ago) Permalink

work filter has thoughtfully blocked access to my first google search result, some blog with the delightfully making-me-want-to-stab-the-author subtitle "The Battle Against the Bland". i assure you guys if there is a Real England it is not battling against The Bland and that is an excellent virtue in itself.

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:24 (seven years ago) Permalink

oh right, that is the subtitle of Kingsnorth's book. okay then i will probably never read it since i infer from the book's post-colonage that the guy is a big douche.

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:24 (seven years ago) Permalink

the usual English attention to the wrong details

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:25 (seven years ago) Permalink

and some sadness for stuff passing that has not passed or was not what he claims it was before it passed

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:26 (seven years ago) Permalink

is john terry 'real england' dyou suppose

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:27 (seven years ago) Permalink

i infer from the book's post-colonage that the guy is a big douche.

― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:24 (1 minute ago)

h but f, nv, h but f

basically i was looking at the squad list for peterbrough town and noticed ryan tunnicliffe and lee frecklington and thought maybe those names were shibboleths that uttered in a certain way might usher you into the innermost real england

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:27 (seven years ago) Permalink

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01185/arts-graphics-2008_1185572a.jpg

the city hobgoblin as a good place to start! (of course he said british not english, right, re the wrong detail)

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:35 (seven years ago) Permalink

"... heir to an immense fortune, gifted by nature with a mind susceptible of noble cultivation, and a body endowed with admirable physical powers with the wretched drunkard who died in a gaol at the age of thirty-eight, a worn-out debauchee and drivelling sot... " <-- i am this very second ensconced in the village that surnamed this regency rake, tho he mainly lived on the other side of shrewsbury

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:41 (seven years ago) Permalink

nigel farage isn't real btw, he speaks for only his own constituency, which is seldom more than symbolic

is there a real england that is incapable of any sort of assimilation into colonned literature? a planar england that resists signification or commodification by interlopers from other englands

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:43 (seven years ago) Permalink

south dublin iirc

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:44 (seven years ago) Permalink

leatherhead is a promotory over a large and brackish inland sea that is never spoken of

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:45 (seven years ago) Permalink

beneath the leylines, the true underground

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:46 (seven years ago) Permalink

"Winter, 1981: the headless, skinned bodies of two bears are found by the River Lea."

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:51 (seven years ago) Permalink

real england is all mates and and blood sausage and big bottomed birds reading thew newsie-wewsies

max, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:57 (seven years ago) Permalink

nah it's hedgerows and birds and complete lack of public services

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:08 (seven years ago) Permalink

Oh it's all about the public services nowadays; a bus to take you into town so you can spend all night trawling the happy hour bars, a streetcleaner to mop up your vomit from the pavement, a policeman to give you a place to spend the night. No-one needed public services when an evening's entertainment consisted of watching the sun set over a russet autumnal hedgerow, lulled into a reverie by the carefree birdsong.

ceci n'est pas un nom d'affichage (ledge), Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:17 (seven years ago) Permalink

http://www.photohistory-sussex.co.uk/UckFrisbyPiltdown03.jpg

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:19 (seven years ago) Permalink

"Searching for the Putdown Man"

ceci n'est pas un nom d'affichage (ledge), Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:21 (seven years ago) Permalink

is there a real england that is incapable of any sort of assimilation into colonned literature? a planar england that resists signification or commodification by interlopers from other englands

Interesting question which I wish I could answer.

Ned Trifle X, Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:29 (seven years ago) Permalink

I don't know if I would like that England even.

Ned Trifle X, Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:29 (seven years ago) Permalink

is there a culture that can't be commodified? and i have to be v. v. careful not to paint my cultures, or the cultures i've drifted along the fringes of, as the only real England. the problem is that the word is usually only spoken out loud by a certain kind of cultural capitalist, whose vision of it is just as tangential as mine. bullshit about fair play and honest toil and love of the land that i'd counter with a nation of sneak thiefs, factionalists and urban wastrels. the contestedness is always part of the Reality of the nation, any nation really.

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:39 (seven years ago) Permalink

for every sleepy Sunday C of E-attending agnostic Tory there's an apocalypse-welcoming hair-splitting anabaptist

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:41 (seven years ago) Permalink

Everywhere north of Enfield is basically a wasteland isn't it? Brrrr... Nothing there. Just a man collecting lumps of mud and putting them into a cloth bag.

Glo-Vember (dog latin), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:42 (seven years ago) Permalink

yeah but the determination of that which is essential need not be a question of mere majorities

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:43 (seven years ago) Permalink

everybody shd read The Uses of Literacy to see how you can constructively get this wrong in a way that doesn't just mourn real heritage centres. obv Williams and E.P. Thompson and Stuart Hall too

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:43 (seven years ago) Permalink

the determination of that which is essential need not be a question of mere majorities

quite so, how about the British Isles then as a dumping ground/refugee camp/Wild West for Europe and parts south-east, over millenia, fuelling endless negotiation and conflict over territory, and that is the quicksand underneath Real England that we think of as bedrock?

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:46 (seven years ago) Permalink

look mate there's no need to get fucking personal, alright

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:49 (seven years ago) Permalink

btw if i was gonna put forward one Real England it wd be old photographs of works sports teams or outings or other ceremonial jollies

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:49 (seven years ago) Permalink

it would be the commie permawheezing mustachioed drunk one in tinker tailor, tho no doubt they'd have you b'leev it's smiley or haydon

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:52 (seven years ago) Permalink

wait haydon was the commie?

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:54 (seven years ago) Permalink

SPOILERS

nah think he was the aesthete on a protest against the yanks more than anything else, wasn't the dude ciaran hinds played proper lefty in stated methods tho

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:56 (seven years ago) Permalink

the sparking point of Real England is where the plummy port-swilling foxhunter runs up against the chippy millenarian work-dodger and we drink each others' health and promise ourselves deep down that one day our kind will crush theirs

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:57 (seven years ago) Permalink

the phoenicians sailed up round to albion to trade tin for spice before the romans had even got out of bed, and if they weren't trading with aboriginal pre-celt and pre-pict inhabitants, then it was certainly aboriginal+1: an island of proto-druid shopkeepers since time immaterial

stonehenge is actually a kind of cashpoint machine

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:58 (seven years ago) Permalink

xp

oh, Roy Bland. yeah Bland is the angry Puritan I've been talking about, defending his country so's his people can crush the effete Squire class one day

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:59 (seven years ago) Permalink

but mark, who's to say the aborigines hadn't hopped off the boat from Boulogne just ahead of the celts themselves and so on and so forth??

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:00 (seven years ago) Permalink

irish close to turks dna-wise iirc

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:03 (seven years ago) Permalink

i think that's exactly what mark is saying, tbf

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:04 (seven years ago) Permalink

Of all the Tribe of Tegumai
Who cut that figure, none remain
On Merrow Down the cuckoos cry
The silence and the sun remain

xp he's called smiley, he has to be of outlander extraction

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:13 (seven years ago) Permalink

^ I wasn't at that FAP

R. Stornoway (Tom D.), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:34 (seven years ago) Permalink

clun forest all-mercian jug band champions, tractor runs on wattle and daub

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:34 (seven years ago) Permalink

never get away with haircuts like that up in the Danelaw

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:36 (seven years ago) Permalink

xp Peter is from Peacehaven but they met at school in Newhaven and practised there when they started, I think that's close enough

Colonel Poo, Wednesday, 20 February 2019 20:54 (one month ago) Permalink

posted elsewhere, belongs here, found while rereading "the lore and language of schoolchildren by iona and peter opie":

for 200 yrs (until the 1950s) 25 July was called GROTTO DAY and londoners ate oysters and the children built little shrines with the shells and asked passersby "penny for the grotto"

mark s, Monday, 25 February 2019 13:30 (three weeks ago) Permalink

it was then taken over by the Macmillan government and became the National Grotto

See me in mi heels an' tinge (Noodle Vague), Monday, 25 February 2019 13:31 (three weeks ago) Permalink

hahaha what??

xpost

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 25 February 2019 13:32 (three weeks ago) Permalink

it reads like the kind of entry you put in a dictionary so you know when yr work is being plagiarised

mark s, Monday, 25 February 2019 13:34 (three weeks ago) Permalink

more info here:
https://lostcookbook.wordpress.com/2013/08/04/oyster-day/

mitcham the last to give up their grottos

goats eat grandma (NickB), Monday, 25 February 2019 13:52 (three weeks ago) Permalink

https://www.reelstreets.com/wp-content/uploads/Films/black_panther/blapa017.jpg
was watching the real england (banned at the time) true crime classic The Black Panther the other night and that Dudley Zoo that was mentioned on the politics thread t'other day showed up in it.

calzino, Monday, 25 February 2019 15:50 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Was it worth while watching that? This really makes me go want to see it.

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 25 February 2019 16:05 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Definitely worth watching, some really clunky acting but its a classic. The camera just loves that terrible architecture and town planning of 70's Kidderminster that you almost expect Ian Nairn to walk into shot!

calzino, Monday, 25 February 2019 16:11 (three weeks ago) Permalink

It's a great film - Donald Sumpter is tremendous in it.

Elitist cheese photos (aldo), Monday, 25 February 2019 19:21 (three weeks ago) Permalink

yes when I said clunky acting i didn't mean his fine performance.

calzino, Monday, 25 February 2019 19:23 (three weeks ago) Permalink

it's almost got a comic dimension to it - his deadly serious fastidious planning, the bottle of ammonia taped to his torch etc.. but when it comes to the job he's an absolutely hopeless bungling idiot time after time!

calzino, Monday, 25 February 2019 19:27 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Found it on the t0rrents, thanks guys!

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 25 February 2019 21:23 (three weeks ago) Permalink

from life magazine, 1957 (obit of linguist and polymath c.k.ogden):
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D0Se2y7WsAAakTa.png

mark s, Tuesday, 26 February 2019 10:58 (three weeks ago) Permalink

LET 👏 ME 👏 DRINK 👏 THE 👏 MUMMY’S 👏 UNDERWEAR 👏 JUICE 👏

he protec, he attac, but most importantly, he dmac (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 26 February 2019 11:45 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Peak Englishness has been reached.

pic.twitter.com/tdM4VUN1wM

— Gary Lee Wadsworth (@Donny_Jpeg) March 2, 2019

Portsmouth Bubblejet, Saturday, 2 March 2019 14:25 (three weeks ago) Permalink

WATCH THIS! Wayne Hussey in conversation with John Robb 'Wayne talks about the Mission and going to school with JK Rowling and how she may have based the Harry Potter character on him...! ' https://t.co/5Y1Pl7Xx1g https://t.co/5Y1Pl7Xx1g @mission_archive

— membranes (@membranes1) March 8, 2019

mark s, Friday, 8 March 2019 13:16 (two weeks ago) Permalink

lol! but also tempered with memories of "there's two ppl I thought were complete dish cloths in my teenage years".

calzino, Friday, 8 March 2019 13:20 (two weeks ago) Permalink

dish cloth is rhyming slang for goth?

kolarov spring (NickB), Friday, 8 March 2019 13:51 (two weeks ago) Permalink

what's rhyming slang for grebo?

kolarov spring (NickB), Friday, 8 March 2019 13:51 (two weeks ago) Permalink

it's also a variation of blood-clarts! Remember the time Fields of Neph got busted for possessing self-raising flour?

calzino, Friday, 8 March 2019 13:56 (two weeks ago) Permalink

the mcdougalls homepride men of darkwave

kolarov spring (NickB), Friday, 8 March 2019 14:12 (two weeks ago) Permalink

https://i.imgur.com/wmPLVCz.jpg?1

lefal junglist platton (wtev), Sunday, 10 March 2019 10:11 (two weeks ago) Permalink

x-posts to marks - love 'the lore and language of children'.

Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Monday, 11 March 2019 20:57 (one week ago) Permalink

looooool that’s the UK for ya pic.twitter.com/JCnWdTMJ0v

— scarface (@scarz99) March 12, 2019

Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Wednesday, 13 March 2019 15:04 (one week ago) Permalink

Enraged man bashed seagull to death in front of kids after it knocked chips out of his hands https://t.co/h2DOjF9qwi

— Raw Story (@RawStory) March 13, 2019

guy was Welsh but it happened in England so allowed on this thread I think

the word dog doesn't bark (anagram), Wednesday, 13 March 2019 17:01 (one week ago) Permalink

then he bites seagull's head off and throws it spinning into the sky as it segues into a spaceship..

calzino, Wednesday, 13 March 2019 17:10 (one week ago) Permalink

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D1oYj0WXgAAhcnI.jpg

mark s, Thursday, 14 March 2019 16:02 (one week ago) Permalink

kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiss

kiss me dadly (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 14 March 2019 16:03 (one week ago) Permalink

what's the update on these irrepressible josh merchants?

calzino, Thursday, 14 March 2019 16:16 (one week ago) Permalink

They appeared in several episodes of the 2018 season of Benidorm, playing a pair of financial fraud investigation officers tailing transvestite hotel employee Les (Tim Healy).

kiss me dadly (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 14 March 2019 16:18 (one week ago) Permalink

https://i.imgur.com/c0HPLDU.png

mark s, Thursday, 14 March 2019 16:23 (one week ago) Permalink

same tbh

kiss me dadly (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 14 March 2019 16:25 (one week ago) Permalink

Hale and Pace continued their charity work with a 1992 stint as spokespersons for the National Egg Awareness Campaign.

great days, long gone now of course

kiss me dadly (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 14 March 2019 16:39 (one week ago) Permalink

eggs are cancelled

mark s, Thursday, 14 March 2019 16:51 (one week ago) Permalink

imagine spending a million quid to raise awareness of... eggs

not even the klf had that kind of vision

kiss me dadly (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 14 March 2019 16:53 (one week ago) Permalink

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CtSstpkWYAQWAp2.jpg

calzino, Thursday, 14 March 2019 16:59 (one week ago) Permalink

yeah i dunno if sausagemakers should be encouraging consumers to think about the origins of their food tbh

kiss me dadly (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 14 March 2019 17:00 (one week ago) Permalink

sausages are the unborn children of SHAI HULUD

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/8c/a0/89/8ca08961a22deacba690a262b79a88a6.jpg

mark s, Thursday, 14 March 2019 17:05 (one week ago) Permalink

(this picture oddly like the last one i posted)

mark s, Thursday, 14 March 2019 17:05 (one week ago) Permalink

one of my partners 40's/50's era great uncles was a maverick pisshead who ran an unsuccessful butchers business in Dewsbury and was an anti-egg crusader who went into rants about "balls of corruption" when customers asked: where are the eggs? But apparently it was letting customers run up huge tabs and forgetting about it after he'd had a skinful was what run his business to the ground!

calzino, Thursday, 14 March 2019 17:14 (one week ago) Permalink

"balls of corruption" feels like the edgy slogan world egg day needs in our dark-yearning times tbh

mark s, Thursday, 14 March 2019 17:17 (one week ago) Permalink

Rejected Temptations song title.

nickn, Thursday, 14 March 2019 17:32 (one week ago) Permalink

Unexploded WW2 bomb at Chris Grayling's 'no-deal Brexit lorry park' airport - peak Britain reached

— Ross Kempsell (@rosskempsell) March 14, 2019

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 14 March 2019 21:12 (one week ago) Permalink

The most perfect thing to ever happen in Leicester @bt_uk pic.twitter.com/QlSvwITMKh

— Clippy from Tekken (@weikiemon) March 15, 2019

nashwan, Saturday, 16 March 2019 21:59 (one week ago) Permalink

Chip shop curry sauce flavoured Cheddar cheese is a thing apparently. https://www.hotukdeals.com/deals/chip-shop-curry-cheddar-cheese-home-bargains-1-3202350

Dan Worsley, Saturday, 23 March 2019 16:02 (yesterday) Permalink


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