Real England

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where is it and what does it look like

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:12 (seven years ago) Permalink

Raymond Williams says somewhere that most people who live in it live in quite small towns, but there is next to no significant literature about same.

Of course he was writing before Midsomer Murders aired.

http://i1.trekearth.com/photos/64476/dscf1947scrsfr.jpg

^^^wiltshire apparently (i'm not sure i know where wiltshire actually is) < /the lex >

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:16 (seven years ago) Permalink

i don't know how the demographics break down now but i wd say that a significant majority at least want to live in quite small towns. also i suspect quite small towns are increasingly really dissipated cities.

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:19 (seven years ago) Permalink

Anyone bothered with Paul Kingsnorth's book on this very subject?

Lars and the Lulu Girl (NickB), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:21 (seven years ago) Permalink

but y'knaa this whole problematic word "Real" - is this intended sarcastically, like is this thread about "what are the sort of people who use the phrase 'Real England' talking about?" or are we positing a defining core of Englishness that has history and still survives however tenuous?

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:21 (seven years ago) Permalink

i think it would be facetious to pretend the issue can be approached entirely unfacetiously

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:22 (seven years ago) Permalink

i was not aware of paul kingsnorth but now i see he has written a book called real england colon something else, i would guess it isn't the only book/treatise/pamphlet with similar title

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:23 (seven years ago) Permalink

work filter has thoughtfully blocked access to my first google search result, some blog with the delightfully making-me-want-to-stab-the-author subtitle "The Battle Against the Bland". i assure you guys if there is a Real England it is not battling against The Bland and that is an excellent virtue in itself.

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:24 (seven years ago) Permalink

oh right, that is the subtitle of Kingsnorth's book. okay then i will probably never read it since i infer from the book's post-colonage that the guy is a big douche.

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:24 (seven years ago) Permalink

the usual English attention to the wrong details

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:25 (seven years ago) Permalink

and some sadness for stuff passing that has not passed or was not what he claims it was before it passed

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:26 (seven years ago) Permalink

is john terry 'real england' dyou suppose

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:27 (seven years ago) Permalink

i infer from the book's post-colonage that the guy is a big douche.

― Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:24 (1 minute ago)

h but f, nv, h but f

basically i was looking at the squad list for peterbrough town and noticed ryan tunnicliffe and lee frecklington and thought maybe those names were shibboleths that uttered in a certain way might usher you into the innermost real england

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:27 (seven years ago) Permalink

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01185/arts-graphics-2008_1185572a.jpg

the city hobgoblin as a good place to start! (of course he said british not english, right, re the wrong detail)

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:35 (seven years ago) Permalink

"... heir to an immense fortune, gifted by nature with a mind susceptible of noble cultivation, and a body endowed with admirable physical powers with the wretched drunkard who died in a gaol at the age of thirty-eight, a worn-out debauchee and drivelling sot... " <-- i am this very second ensconced in the village that surnamed this regency rake, tho he mainly lived on the other side of shrewsbury

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:41 (seven years ago) Permalink

nigel farage isn't real btw, he speaks for only his own constituency, which is seldom more than symbolic

is there a real england that is incapable of any sort of assimilation into colonned literature? a planar england that resists signification or commodification by interlopers from other englands

Nigel Farage is a fucking hero (nakhchivan), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:43 (seven years ago) Permalink

south dublin iirc

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:44 (seven years ago) Permalink

leatherhead is a promotory over a large and brackish inland sea that is never spoken of

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:45 (seven years ago) Permalink

beneath the leylines, the true underground

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:46 (seven years ago) Permalink

"Winter, 1981: the headless, skinned bodies of two bears are found by the River Lea."

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:51 (seven years ago) Permalink

real england is all mates and and blood sausage and big bottomed birds reading thew newsie-wewsies

max, Thursday, 3 November 2011 13:57 (seven years ago) Permalink

nah it's hedgerows and birds and complete lack of public services

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:08 (seven years ago) Permalink

Oh it's all about the public services nowadays; a bus to take you into town so you can spend all night trawling the happy hour bars, a streetcleaner to mop up your vomit from the pavement, a policeman to give you a place to spend the night. No-one needed public services when an evening's entertainment consisted of watching the sun set over a russet autumnal hedgerow, lulled into a reverie by the carefree birdsong.

ceci n'est pas un nom d'affichage (ledge), Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:17 (seven years ago) Permalink

http://www.photohistory-sussex.co.uk/UckFrisbyPiltdown03.jpg

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:19 (seven years ago) Permalink

"Searching for the Putdown Man"

ceci n'est pas un nom d'affichage (ledge), Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:21 (seven years ago) Permalink

is there a real england that is incapable of any sort of assimilation into colonned literature? a planar england that resists signification or commodification by interlopers from other englands

Interesting question which I wish I could answer.

Ned Trifle X, Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:29 (seven years ago) Permalink

I don't know if I would like that England even.

Ned Trifle X, Thursday, 3 November 2011 14:29 (seven years ago) Permalink

is there a culture that can't be commodified? and i have to be v. v. careful not to paint my cultures, or the cultures i've drifted along the fringes of, as the only real England. the problem is that the word is usually only spoken out loud by a certain kind of cultural capitalist, whose vision of it is just as tangential as mine. bullshit about fair play and honest toil and love of the land that i'd counter with a nation of sneak thiefs, factionalists and urban wastrels. the contestedness is always part of the Reality of the nation, any nation really.

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:39 (seven years ago) Permalink

for every sleepy Sunday C of E-attending agnostic Tory there's an apocalypse-welcoming hair-splitting anabaptist

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:41 (seven years ago) Permalink

Everywhere north of Enfield is basically a wasteland isn't it? Brrrr... Nothing there. Just a man collecting lumps of mud and putting them into a cloth bag.

Glo-Vember (dog latin), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:42 (seven years ago) Permalink

yeah but the determination of that which is essential need not be a question of mere majorities

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:43 (seven years ago) Permalink

everybody shd read The Uses of Literacy to see how you can constructively get this wrong in a way that doesn't just mourn real heritage centres. obv Williams and E.P. Thompson and Stuart Hall too

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:43 (seven years ago) Permalink

the determination of that which is essential need not be a question of mere majorities

quite so, how about the British Isles then as a dumping ground/refugee camp/Wild West for Europe and parts south-east, over millenia, fuelling endless negotiation and conflict over territory, and that is the quicksand underneath Real England that we think of as bedrock?

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:46 (seven years ago) Permalink

look mate there's no need to get fucking personal, alright

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:49 (seven years ago) Permalink

btw if i was gonna put forward one Real England it wd be old photographs of works sports teams or outings or other ceremonial jollies

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:49 (seven years ago) Permalink

it would be the commie permawheezing mustachioed drunk one in tinker tailor, tho no doubt they'd have you b'leev it's smiley or haydon

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:52 (seven years ago) Permalink

wait haydon was the commie?

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:54 (seven years ago) Permalink

SPOILERS

nah think he was the aesthete on a protest against the yanks more than anything else, wasn't the dude ciaran hinds played proper lefty in stated methods tho

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:56 (seven years ago) Permalink

the sparking point of Real England is where the plummy port-swilling foxhunter runs up against the chippy millenarian work-dodger and we drink each others' health and promise ourselves deep down that one day our kind will crush theirs

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:57 (seven years ago) Permalink

the phoenicians sailed up round to albion to trade tin for spice before the romans had even got out of bed, and if they weren't trading with aboriginal pre-celt and pre-pict inhabitants, then it was certainly aboriginal+1: an island of proto-druid shopkeepers since time immaterial

stonehenge is actually a kind of cashpoint machine

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:58 (seven years ago) Permalink

xp

oh, Roy Bland. yeah Bland is the angry Puritan I've been talking about, defending his country so's his people can crush the effete Squire class one day

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 15:59 (seven years ago) Permalink

but mark, who's to say the aborigines hadn't hopped off the boat from Boulogne just ahead of the celts themselves and so on and so forth??

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:00 (seven years ago) Permalink

irish close to turks dna-wise iirc

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:03 (seven years ago) Permalink

i think that's exactly what mark is saying, tbf

blind pele (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:04 (seven years ago) Permalink

Of all the Tribe of Tegumai
Who cut that figure, none remain
On Merrow Down the cuckoos cry
The silence and the sun remain

xp he's called smiley, he has to be of outlander extraction

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:13 (seven years ago) Permalink

^ I wasn't at that FAP

R. Stornoway (Tom D.), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:34 (seven years ago) Permalink

clun forest all-mercian jug band champions, tractor runs on wattle and daub

mark s, Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:34 (seven years ago) Permalink

never get away with haircuts like that up in the Danelaw

Agyness Dei (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 November 2011 16:36 (seven years ago) Permalink

NHS staff have been sent a warning letter about 63-year-old Christopher Dearlove by its Counter Fraud Service, telling them to ring 999 immediately if they see the man, who also goes by the names Gary Wainwright, Gary Lampard, Gary Ryan and Gary Fowler.

I think I signed him once on FM '07.

calzino, Sunday, 7 April 2019 19:18 (one month ago) Permalink

Here's the teamsheet for tonight's game and we are absolutely furious because Sydenham have fielded their players to spell out "SRFC ARE SHIT". We know this for a fact because Dane Francis, a striker, is wearing number 3. Hope the league committee throw the book at them for this. pic.twitter.com/SU5uszGbiQ

— Streatham Rovers FC (@StreathamRovers) April 9, 2019

Elitist cheese photos (aldo), Wednesday, 10 April 2019 10:42 (one month ago) Permalink

some real bobson dugnutt-level names in there

sexual consent... on the blockchain (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 10 April 2019 10:46 (one month ago) Permalink

Sweet. Neil Lennon should consider that for the next Old Firm game.

Do you like 70s hard rock with a guitar hero? (Tom D.), Wednesday, 10 April 2019 11:16 (one month ago) Permalink

Streatham Rovers are a joy.

ShariVari, Wednesday, 10 April 2019 11:41 (one month ago) Permalink

lol ESPN published and quickly deleted a story about this

Terry Major-Ball Will Tell You (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 10 April 2019 11:42 (one month ago) Permalink

This would be the first time it had been funny in twenty years. pic.twitter.com/76ZFdEFN8r

— Trevor Bastard CEO & Co-Founder Grannymugger Media (@GRANNYMUGGER) April 10, 2019

calzino, Wednesday, 10 April 2019 14:23 (one month ago) Permalink

'Real England' = comedy twitter account?

emil.y, Wednesday, 10 April 2019 18:02 (one month ago) Permalink

smdh @ Kye Cheeseman left on the bench again

alt right? all trite more like (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 10 April 2019 18:14 (one month ago) Permalink

So what's all this about then? Archery practice mishap seems unlikely, given that it happened shortly after midnight.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/apr/19/man-74-shot-with-crossbow-outside-his-home-in-wales

Zeuhl Idol (Matt #2), Friday, 19 April 2019 18:50 (one month ago) Permalink

I thought it was only legal to kill a Welshman with an arrow after midnight within the city walls of Chester.

brain (krakow), Friday, 19 April 2019 19:21 (one month ago) Permalink

Middlesbrough Council fills potholes after penis graffiti protest https://t.co/1b2slxb284

— BBC North East and Cumbria (@BBCNEandCumbria) April 26, 2019

Dan Worsley, Friday, 26 April 2019 21:58 (one month ago) Permalink

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D5ySpLYWwAEEm0k.jpg

mark s, Sunday, 5 May 2019 13:07 (three weeks ago) Permalink

:D :D :D

call me cismale (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 5 May 2019 14:13 (three weeks ago) Permalink

I wish I had a clip of the two royalist loons on Australian radio this morning recorded outside the royal baby birth. Sounding like python pepperpots and talking about their brown ethnic baby balloons. SMDH

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Monday, 6 May 2019 20:52 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Same loons Ed?

Fucking hell. pic.twitter.com/82BkoaWErF

— Andy (@alreadytaken74) May 6, 2019

piscesx, Monday, 6 May 2019 21:12 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Jeeeeeesus H fucking Christ. Bit of League Of Gentlemen in the mix too, are we sure it’s not Mark Gatiss in shit drag?

suzy, Monday, 6 May 2019 21:34 (two weeks ago) Permalink

... people you thought were dead... Kendo Nagasaki, I mean... obviously... ?

Ned Caligari (Tom D.), Wednesday, 8 May 2019 14:33 (two weeks ago) Permalink

good job Big Daddy unmasked him back in the day or the foreign office might have been fixing to deport him!

calzino, Wednesday, 8 May 2019 14:36 (two weeks ago) Permalink

My tube driver casually watching porn whilst leaving the tannoy system on… pic.twitter.com/ALWahilGEJ

— Paul Brunton (@MrPaulBrunton) May 10, 2019

Dan Worsley, Saturday, 11 May 2019 08:38 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Crosspost with Transport in London is shit thread.

Dan Worsley, Saturday, 11 May 2019 08:42 (two weeks ago) Permalink

'trains and tunnels' gag in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

just another country (snoball), Saturday, 11 May 2019 08:46 (two weeks ago) Permalink

if his bosses manage to id him he might be facing a period of onanployment.

calzino, Saturday, 11 May 2019 08:51 (two weeks ago) Permalink

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/grown-men-in-tears-model-16169868

"Can you imagine your life's work wrecked? One guy spent 25 years on his work and it's wrecked, it's just horrendous.

"We will never have the time to build the sort of layouts again, that's where the anger comes from."

calzino, Sunday, 19 May 2019 22:43 (one week ago) Permalink

It's the blue peter garden all over again

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 19 May 2019 22:44 (one week ago) Permalink

lol, exactly my first thought!

calzino, Sunday, 19 May 2019 22:45 (one week ago) Permalink

they should send Simon Groom to track down the culprits and make them restore everything to its original condition

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Sunday, 19 May 2019 22:46 (one week ago) Permalink

4 youths arrested and in custody in Grantham. This might be the paradigm shift the death penalty lobby have been waiting for!

calzino, Sunday, 19 May 2019 22:50 (one week ago) Permalink

this morning my colleagues all want to leave eurovision

ogmor, Monday, 20 May 2019 08:04 (six days ago) Permalink

We"re shite so that sounds like a good idea tbh.

Ned Caligari (Tom D.), Monday, 20 May 2019 08:33 (six days ago) Permalink

Man being escorted by 4 police officers out of the Dept lounge at Gatwick this morning at 8 o'clock for being too drunk to fly, pointing at each cop in turn " I could fight you, you ,you and you. But I don' t want to. But I could....but I could". Repeats this entire sentence 3 times while his ( I presume) girlfriend trails behind him saying "shut up and keep walking".

oscar bravo, Tuesday, 21 May 2019 09:40 (five days ago) Permalink

Was my sister just saying

Lol joek obviously it wasn't me

Bash Street Kids: Endgame (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 15:48 (five days ago) Permalink

I hope they found another pilot.

nickn, Tuesday, 21 May 2019 16:54 (five days ago) Permalink

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/D7O0qRWWwAAgLaN.jpg:large

here be dragons.. well more like here be a total knobhead!

calzino, Thursday, 23 May 2019 06:54 (three days ago) Permalink

isn't that a Flemish lion?

StanM, Thursday, 23 May 2019 07:46 (three days ago) Permalink

(still a knobhead probably)

StanM, Thursday, 23 May 2019 07:49 (three days ago) Permalink

calzino OTM!

A variant of the flag is also used by the Flemish Movement. This variant, without red claws, is often used as well. It is known as the strijdvlag ("battle flag"). It is not an official symbol. It was, however, used by the flemish fighting alongside Nazi and SS troops, and is as such also known as the collaboration flag. It is today used by right movements.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 23 May 2019 07:50 (three days ago) Permalink

Seriously, should be sending this to Prevent. One of his friends was a dangerous nutcase as well. He's doing time for slashing someone's throat in Asda.

calzino, Thursday, 23 May 2019 08:07 (three days ago) Permalink

getting exsanguinated in asda is powerfully real england

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 23 May 2019 08:38 (three days ago) Permalink

lol yeah, it happened about 2 am as well and the victim was a friend who'd gone in there with him on copious amounts of crystal meth or coke I'd presume.

calzino, Thursday, 23 May 2019 08:43 (three days ago) Permalink

You fuckin what? pic.twitter.com/CZYaBilqfE

— Riley (@SRiley95) May 24, 2019

||||||||, Friday, 24 May 2019 13:07 (two days ago) Permalink

shutupandtakemymoney.jpg

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 24 May 2019 13:09 (two days ago) Permalink

If someone does a computer game based on Diana death tunnel, then Chris Morris should sue them for copyright breach.

calzino, Friday, 24 May 2019 13:14 (two days ago) Permalink

paging chris morris' lawyers

The attraction is part of a new park celebrating US magazine the National Enquirer and opens tomorrow in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, reports The Mirror .

Creator Robin Turner said: “It’s a 3D computer model, and you’re looking down on what looks just like Paris, but it’s three-dimensional.

“It’s projected, and you see the buildings and everything in a 3D presentation.

“And it shows the pathway as she left the Ritz hotel, and the paparazzi chasing her, and the bang-flash that we think blinded the driver and how it happened.”

Turner told website Daily Beast : “There’s no blood. There’s none of that. You see the car crash through computer animation.”

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 24 May 2019 13:16 (two days ago) Permalink

not sure why devon live is reporting on news from pigeon forge, tennessee, but i guess real england is a state of mind

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Friday, 24 May 2019 13:18 (two days ago) Permalink


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