Throw on Your Best Cardigan and Celebrate Fall 2011 with the Gays of ILX

Contrary to popular belief, they're a major pain and don't go away with a simple one-time application of shampoo.

Oh my dear lord, I think he carpenter might be a HOT MESS. Clue 1: He called me at 1:50 a.m. But you know, sometimes you get a late night craving, and it's been a long, long, long time since I've received a booty call.

Clue 2: I just had a long phone call with him in which he told me way more than I needed to know at this stage. E.g.: He took recently dated/parented a 20 year old, gave him money, got ripped off. Also, about his mid-20s suicide attempt. (I don't know if it's just me, but it seems like guys I hook up w/ feel OK about telling of their suicide attempts. This has happened at least 3x before, with even very "together" strait-laced "normal" guys. It's either that my big, pleading eyes make them want to open up, or being around me makes them consider giving suicide another chance.)

#3. Not really a sign of Hot Mess, but holy shit, he's from the South Side and OMG hearing him talk is like playing this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msSB5ev41Sk

Actually, if he were not Messy otherwise, that would be kinda hot.

I realized while I was on the phone with him that the reason I haven't been on either end of a booty call since around 2003 is that most people I know just about never use the phone for personal/fun. Stevie and I discussed talking to each other on the phone and while I'm not averse to the idea at all, it just seemed almost like the idea of sending each other letters in the mail. Again, not that I'm against the idea, but it just didn't make any sense for a second.

Cmon don't fucking ask me if I'm gay right in front of my pops. I mean, he knows the deal and all but wtf have some common sense. And be goddamn satisfied with the answer "kinda", cause that's all you're going to get, no matter the situation.

man

Everybody still gay?

Had drinks w/ Stevie last night, I think we both are. Still.

i slept with a ton of women while this thread was down, but that's all over now so

i just bought a lipstick called rose glimmer

Oh. I missed Rev's post, pre-Event. Yikes!

Oy, while ILX was down, I got a reminder of why it's hard to remain friends with exes, even the ones that dumped you and not vice versa.

(Was going to make that post gay-specific, but I'm pretty sure that's true across the board.)

Well, why?

"even the ones that dumped you" ?

I mean, if I was the one who did the dumping, there would be no possibility for recidivism. But because I was the one dumped, now I have to be the one to say "No, you were right the first time."

hi y'all

Was struck recently to do an ILM poll of Prokofiev Piano Concerto #2 vs. #3. But I realized it would just be more efficient to ask you which you prefer, Corey.

aww

really the only Prokofiev I've heard that's hooked me so far are the 1st and 3rd symphonies, L'Enfant prodigue and Pas d'acier. I had a bad reaction to one of the PCs (No. 1 I think) so I haven't investigated the others yet. Recommend any recordings?

Oh yeah, I think you told me you had a reaction to one of the concertos. I think the second and third are something like the pinnacle of 20th c. music for me right now, but ymmv if Prok hasn't done much for you yet.

2: Horacio Gutierrez is the standard bearer, but I really like the time Anna Vinnitskaya takes with the first movement.
3: I prefer Argerich's later recording with Charles Dutoit (1998) to the earlier, more famed one with Claudio Abbado. Again, Gutierrez is pretty fantastic, too. Some swear by Graffman, but I think his range isn't quite flamboyant enough.

Recordings of the 3rd outnumber the 2nd by about 8-1.

So this thing is no longer a going concern and I don't get it. He seemed so into me when we were together, but barely interested when we were not. I pretty much had to pester him to get back together, even as he kept saying he wanted to see me. I think he's just a flake and I've given up on him. Communication death and we didn't even smang. Smh.

sorry, Rev.

Fuck, I've had something similar like that happen to me once and it's so confusing and frustrating. Hugs, bruv.

I pretty much had to pester him to get back together, even as he kept saying he wanted to see me.

SO fucking frustrating.

And also a habit I've worked hard to break myself of.

i am strongly considering supporting the classical radio station xxp

sorry rev - unfortunately that experience is all-too-common, as i've found

so common

I've done it to people person myself.

And, yes, support your local classical stations.

i'm also thinking about getting some photos taken of myself. for like a zine.

.... yeahh.

what kiiiiind of zine?

an apple computer zine

So this thing is no longer a going concern and I don't get it. He seemed so into me when we were together, but barely interested when we were not. I pretty much had to pester him to get back together, even as he kept saying he wanted to see me. I think he's just a flake and I've given up on him.

This sucks, Rev, and I'm sorry. I'm very sympathetic because I've been the dick who's done this to a couple of guys (not recently though). The motives are mysterious. In my case I liked the guys but the attraction wasn't powerful enough to stave off boredom. At the same time I was too cowardly to formally end it.

Yeah, Rev, sorry about that. I've been on both ends, glad I've cleared up some of those issues (at least on my end).

The past couple of days, I've been following this whole brouhaha over the article in Fab magazine about racism on Grindr/A4A/CL/etc., and I'm wondering if anyone else has been following it. A good summary is here: http://gay.fleshbot.com/5851036/which-of-these-horny-hunks-do-you-prefer-is-that-okay and a classic thread of trolling racist morons is here http://www.queerty.com/discriminating-against-race-on-grindr-doesnt-make-you-a-racist-20111018/ .

Tbh, the whole 'no blacks, no asians' (or whatever) thing is one of the reasons why I don't really use online hook-up sites any longer. The racism simply makes the whole experience even more icky, imho.

But the whole discussion has made me think about my own issues regarding attraction and body type, race, etc. I've always been pretty 'welcome aboard' to all races in real life, and have hooked up and dated dudes of quite a few different ethnic makeups. But I have to admit— there have been times where I've openly stated my disinterest in hooking up with 'bigger' guys, and I've started to interrogate that preference as being somewhat...ridiculous. For while I don't necessarily fantasize (ie jerk off to) about bigger men, IRL I have no problem interacting with bigger guys sexually or otherwise. This could just be a usual sort of disconnect between the inner fantasy life and the outer lived experience, but it makes me wonder whether a lot of the racism found on hook-up sites or apps is the fantasy life being projected upon the actual lived experience.

Like, I guess most people are too stupid to interrogate the way their fantasy life plays out and limits their lived experience?

Most people are stupid, so it shouldn't be surprising, but it still makes me sad, for some reason.

i think it is pretty clear that it is not racist to prefer certain races and body types. it is just a sexual preference.

nobody should apologize for who they are attracted to. granted online hookups can be douches, and there's a certain way to say things.

mmmmmm uh oh, see here's where we disagree.

i think zachary sire is kinda OTM tho that 1) yeah, there's a difference between "i'm not sexually attracted to (x) race/body type/hair color/whatever" vs. "i am actively discriminating against person of (x) race/etc in a real-world situation where they will be put into a disadvantaged social/economic/class position" - the bedroom isn't the boardroom (well, most of the time) - but to bear in mind that just because you're not attracted to that type doesn't mean that other people aren't or that they're lesser human beings because they hold no erotic potential for you, and also 2) the "no asians/fatties/etc." sign functions as a handy advertisement that that person is a boor who isn't worth my grindr dollars anyway

there's also arguably some icky racial...things involved in eg a white guy being like "i want a big black daddy to fuck me" too, i think

i just don't think there's anything subjective about the statement that it is ok to like whatever body types you like. i refuse to call myself a racist bc i do not want to have sex with certain races. that is ridiculous and intellectually unsound.

if you like asian dudes because you think they are beautiful, that's not racist.

if you like asian dudes because you think they are all passive and submissive, that's completely racist.

i mean ... i know for a fact that a good amount of people are not attracted to me. i'm lebanese, and i'm hairy, and that's not everybody's bag (teddy iirc you sometimes don't love a hairy dude). and i'm like, fine with it. other fish in the sea.

i also think this issue is decidedly not exclusive to grindr

or whichever your preferred digital meat market is

But I think that what I'm getting at is the idea (that Mattilda speaks to, I believe) that one can say 'Asians aren't my type,' WITHOUT EVER HAVING BEEN WITH AN ASIAN. it's discriminatory because it's based on an idea of what constitutes 'Asian,' not any sort of experience outside of the inner sexual fantasy.

also surm you don't really have any idea as to what i like or dislike. i'm pretty damn open.

i like to think that the word 'preference' implies that you're not 100% aligned to your type, eg my preference is for dark-haired guys but i'm not at all shutting out the possibility of dating or at least making out with cute blond guys. i do think a willingness to engage with people outside your boner comfort zone is a good thing.

"boner comfort zone" = I got hard.

i do think a willingness to engage with people outside your boner comfort zone is a good thing.

but that was my favorite word in that sentence :(

also surm you don't really have any idea as to what i like or dislike. i'm pretty damn open.

― Sophomore subs are the new Smith lesbians. (the table is the table), Thursday, October 20, 2011 6:46 PM (11 minutes ago) Bookmark

actually, i do have some idea, because we've all been posting on a gay thread where we talk about what we like and don't like when it comes to men.

and i wasn't saying you are not open, i just remember a casual comment you once made about enjoying a smooth body, and not always getting off on a very hairy body type. that's it. no need to front.

also, i don't need to be with a certain body typs to know that i am not attracted to it. just like i don't have to be with a woman to know it doesn't get me off.

i don't buy those last two sentences, surm. wouldn't buy them from you, or anybody else.

bottom line for me is that i reserve the right to like whoever the fuck i like, no apologies. you might be right in saying that if i tried something i didn't like, i might find an experience enjoyable. but for the most part, i know what gets me hard.

I'm not conscious of currently having any racial prefs -- all men are generally useless or disappointing, but if they're breathing and want me that's usually good enough -- but some Irish dude who I wasted entirely too much time w/ last Saturday night aked me at the W'burg bar if I thought the men there were attractive.

"About a third of em," I estimated.

His followup was "Do you like black guys?"

I made him repeat that, waited a beat, and sang "Black boys are de-li-cious!" from Hair.

all men are generally useless or disappointing

<3

and donna i didn't mean to avert your question before . . . . i don't know what kind of zine, the kind that has semi-naked pictures of men in it?

"No Asians" is a huge turn-off for me, and it is WAY more common on Grindr, et al. than IRL. The extreme douchebag outliers eliminated, how many people who are mostly attracted to whites and Latinos would ever say to an Asian person who said hello to them at a bar, "Sorry, I'm not into Asians"?

I also don't care for no fats, no femmes, HWP (heigh-weight proportional), and of course the term "clean." When people use the word "clean" in reference to HIV/STDs, I want to sit them down for some a few hours of Clockwork Orange time w/ Diamanda Galas performing This is the Law of the Plague.

there's also arguably some icky racial...things involved in eg a white guy being like "i want a big black daddy to fuck me" too, i think

― vitameatawalloginavegamin (donna rouge), Thursday, October 20, 2011 1:36 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yeah, i've seen some porn blogs that are mostly white dudes or two (or whatever) white dudes but interspersed are photos of white twinks getting fucked or "abused" or w/e by big black or hispanic guys and there's something really gross and offensive about that type of fetishization imo

yea jess there is definitely a way to say things - and a lot of the time, why even say it at all

or all of the time for that matter.

i think the 'no asians' thing is the most ubiquitous, and thus the most egregious, and also the one i am most sensitive to, seeing as how i'm dating someone who is half-Chinese. after two or three dates, we were in bed and i asked, "what is your ethnic heritage?" and he turned around and said, "thanks for asking that way and not assuming anything," and then went onto explain that people peg him as Asian or Latino all the time without even thinking about it. (the only time he plays into it is for self-preservation— he can't wear red or blue in his neighborhood, because if he does, Nortenos or Surenos fuck with him).

also the HWP thing is so dumb it makes me ill. distribution of weight is SO much about individual body type that it should have no bearing in these sorts of matters.

i met a half japanese boy one time who was like, v v hot. just to spin this on its head for a minute -- i was looking through japanese vogue? and a LOT of the boys in there were either white or japanese men who looked very white

fashion mags in making everyone a white person shocker

altho usually they try and make white ppl look asian, so maybe they are on to something new

I also don't care for no fats, no femmes

At what point do age limits enter the picture, and is that different? This made-to-order stuff, all of it, just closes ppl off from a specific individual who might deviate from their little cafeteria boundaries. "OMG, I thought my age limit was 35, and this 44yo gave me the fuck of my life," etc.

i have this book of plastic surgery and in it, it has a lot of examples of people of asian descent getting surgery on their eyes to look whiter

can u imag?

does the "no asians" thing include the indian and pakistani dudes? filipinos? i find that super weird.

cf. also bollywood

"i'm only into dudes whose first names are also the names of cities"

should i have pizza right now y/n

(i already had sweet potato fries)

what sort of pizza?

"vegetable"

We had our 'health fair' at work today, and my weight and bad cholesterol just keeps going up. SO, PIZZA!

ook not touchin it. thanks!

ha

i'm having "breathe deep" tea instead

At what point do age limits enter the picture, and is that different?

I forgot about that one. Also annoying at times, though maybe a different in some way? I am not going to think too poorly of a 19 year old who sets a boundary of 26 or a 55 year old who sets a lower one of 40. But for every instance of what I consider reasonable expressions of preference, there are tons of ageist jerks, even ones for whom their own age is too old.

i want to hook up with a 40 yr old really soon

Gimme four years, surm.

it's a date!!

yay! I'm that chick indeed.

i think i'm going thru my summer late this year. i feel very ... antsy ! ! ! !

hmmmm, I feel lazy rather than antsy during summer.

hey so I thought I'd share -- I've been out to my mom for a few years but my sexuality & my boyfriend have been pretty much forbidden topics of conversation around her super-conservative catholic husband and my younger bros. i went along with it for a time, mostly out of fear & uncertainty about what his reaction would be & whether he would prohibit me from having a relationship with my mom & brothers, since he's a sanctimonious controlling prick

but I've been in therapy for a little while and finally mustered the self respect & courage to directly address the situation, saying what a burden secrecy is & how hurtful it is for me to have to keep the man I love a secret for their convenience. this was all in an email I wrote last weekend, and I've talked to my mom once since. she was upset and anxious about what this means going forward, but it's necessary for me and the only way to demonstrate my respect & commitment to my relationship with D.

the situation is evolving & idk where I'll end up with my mom & her husband & their kids, but it's a step -- one that I feel really good about taking

helllllllllll yeah!

that sounds like a great first step! proud of you :)

Way to go, elmo!

Good job!

yah, rad, elmo!!!!

also, just felt my first earthquake in Cali, though i've definitely been here for more than a few. twas tiny. just felt like a truck hit my house or something.

maybe it was elmo's courage pulsating thru

4.8 on the self-actualization scale!

lol

it was a 3.9, epicenter pretty much right under the Berkeley campus.

GOD HATES ACADEMIA

anyone have any opinions on portland, or?

WHITE PEOPLE

i think i think it's ok. less provincial than salt lake but not exactly a big city. bf really likes it too.

xp yeah seriously :\

that's my one complaint, no diversity. might even be worse than salt lake?

it's a nice place, actually. but any place that's 74% white people just gives me the heebie-jeebies a bit, i grew up in philadelphia.

i had fun last weekend though. people danced, at a club, to house music. there was even a black person there.

about the same, tbf.

Oh, I meant to mention to Eric and T, I took my first climbing lesson! It was incredible! And really challenging. I hadn't done a lick of weight or resistance exercise since I moved in July, and no running for over a month, so it wiped me the fuck out. I've been back at the gym, and I can't wait to have a little more endurance in my forearms next time.

It felt weird and unnatural the first time I let go of the wall at about 20 feet up. My brain deadlocked with itself trying to force me to let go or hang on. My forearms broke the impasse.

bravo, elmo <3

I lifted my (old tube) TV tonight.

Very friendly Eagle crowd in Portland. Saw a nice gal-on-guy flogging there.

I saw that you'd started from a FB post, J3ss3. I thought I'd liked it, but I dunno with the new FB layout. Things slip by me so easily.

I love watching newbie climbers get past that first "let go" moment. I also like watching them totally worn out from the first few climbs. I forget what it felt like to feel like total jelly and not to even be able to land on my feet. I sometimes miss that feeling.

Eric, the Gotham nominations are out, so, detrius.

Thought NRQ would do the honors this year.

Plus, what fresh hell is it that NYFCC moved their year-enders by three weeks?

2 weeks, I think. Very prez-race circuslike.

Has nrqy mayne even posted lately?

Not sure, I haven't trolled many of the movie threads in the last few months.

After I became OK with letting go, I tried the auto-belay and it got freaky all over again.

I was reeling with giddiness when I posted about it on FB, but it really is something to literally let go and trust someone to keep you from plummeting.

I wasn't thinking when I chose the location with the outdoor wall for lessons going from mid-October through November. They'll probably postpone Sunday's lesson since this weekend's going to be a continuation of yesterday's Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald conditions :-/ Hopefully we can switch locations if Indian summer doesn't come back.

I want to go out for a drink b/c I'm wide awake and stir crazy, but it's 12:21 on a Friday night, so it's going to be not-low-key everywhere within a reasonable distance of my home. Even the little lesbos bar will be fully right now. Hmmrmrrm.

There have been so many fucking idiot bros screaming down on the street tonight. There are always a few revelers, but tonight they're being idiots. Three drunk dummies are hollering at cars and mooning cabs....

Some friends who drove here from NY bought me a paper grocery bag full of fireworks in Indiana, which I have had for months. I'm always so tempted to throw firecrackers out the window at jerks. They would never be able to tell where they came from, but I can't further disturb the peace that way.

Anyway, I guess I'm off to the lolManhandler. Ta.

i have been sitting around with my cat and boyfriend. we watched an episode of 90210, then threw on some sex and the city. 5th season. we also made brownie sundays and took a nap.

That was lots of fun. That bar is a rare holdover from he late-70s/early-80s Chicago gay scene, and as such it's sleazy, but friendly also and quiet in some senses. I'm pretty sure it's the only bar left in Chicago that plays porn in the main room. Its "back room" is a courtyard w/ a tin roof. One of the old-timers told me that they added the roof in the 90s when straight DeP@u1 students started moving into adjacent buildings and complained of the plein air debauchery.

oh, I been dere

sounds good

it's saturday and i'm at work

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y153/struggin/photo-1.jpg

^view out the window

damn

life is fucking rad, y'all.

tabes, were u around that shit at Occupy Oakland?

also jesse, i think an indoor wall is most certainly necessary for chicago. christ, it's necessary for here.

i bouldered today. it's getting to the point where i'm giving people beta and it's working. didn't have the best day myself— got thrown off of this v6 way too many times— but a good round of core exercises and 45-minute sauna session later and i feel fantastic.

*the shit*? which shit. i've been around for a lot of stuff, missed it today because i was helping my friend move things and/or having sex.

I read about some nasty police aggression that happened on Thursday or Friday

Went to the gay cowboy bar on their one disco night. Got a number.

Ugh. I need a sex life I'm going insane.

xp did you get a hand-drawn portrait of Grace Jones as well?

I can't believe I missed the discush on ageism. I have quite a bit to say about that topic

I am wearing my best cardigan right now.

That is all.

pic?

Age is such a weird thing in that people get freaked out about it so easily, and I'm hesitant to discuss it (re: fucking older guys) with a lot of people because of how freaked out they get. I've thought about it quite a bit and I'm convinced it comes down to the way people use age as a means of sorting people into some hierarchical structure whose upper/lower tiers are "off limits" to them in terms of closeness, friendship, intimacy, etc., and it's something that they cling to very dearly and get very nervous about when it's permeated. I mean, I just find it really easy to talk to/relate to guys of all ages and have a great deal of friends who are around or over 40 who I'd consider my peers; obviously there's that inevitable gap of life experience and, often times, wisdom, but I've never thought that it was some sort of thing that had to actually separate people. So, as a result, I often times approach/talk to/build friendships with older guys like they're people my own age.

I mean, on the flip side, I've definitely interacted with older guys who also cling dearly to this hierarchical structure and as a result talk down to and even fetishize me as a "young guy", and it's really skeevy.

Also a lot of times (but not always [but a lot of times]) 40 year olds are, like, *really* good at sex.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6213/6274794847_cf5f3f8ec3.jpg

lame pic of me (what *am* I doing with my head?) but it's the best pic i have of this cardigan, which I love

it sort of looks like an old TV tuned to static, only in sweater form

I'm 40 and I like getting it on with dudes of many diff. ages

totally get that if you overplay the age divide it can be creepy

hard not to tho, esp. when some people are very into roleplay about that difference

best to treat people as individuals and just follow their lead about verbal stuff that goes there

I like and am attracted to people my own age too, and I feel like that avoids the "chickenhawk" sketchy thing

Whoa, you got some crazy moiré all up in that. Yeah, the age roleplay is something I could never get down with, and I've had a few guys that have wanted to be my "daddy" or some shit and I tried playing along once for a little bit and then was like "okay, no". I just cannot do it; it feels really icky and incestual to me. I have absolutely no desire to be viewed as younger/juvenile/baby/etc. I mean, dom/sub is totally fine, and even sir/boy I can get down with, but something about "daddy" and "son" is just eeugggh to me.

I mean I guess it's a reality that people have "types" but that doesn't mean that you treat actual people as if they were just living examples of a type- the trouble with people who are "chickenhawks" -or "daddyhunters" for that matter- is that they are looking for some living individual person to plug into a fantasy scenario that is about categories rather than individuals (in this case, age categories, but maybe not so different from people who need a bearded person or a tall person or a certain race of what have you)- so there's something kind of un-ethical and instrumentalizing about it insofar as a person is being treated as a type rather than a unique agent- but then, as somebody prone to think in terms of psychoanalysis, I also have to fess up that it is simply no surprise that those linguistically defined terms and categories really are how many people's desires are wired- and it is no surprise that lurking behind a lot of sexuality is a fetishization of power differences that are bound up with early childhood experiences- I mean, I couldn't be a Freudian and not see that these totemic parental figures are objects of desire for all of us, and Stevie I think that that's what is behind your visceral "eeugghhh" response here- the incest taboo is really powerful and it's there for a reason- but because it's powerful, people want to tap into that power in controlled bursts during sex through things like roleplay, dirty talk, etc. Your disgust is just as intense as other people's pleasure at getting into these kinds of scenes- and in both the disgust and the pleasure, the source is the same early childhood training we all have.

that is so totally otm

dr#w otm -- about power relationships and his hair.

I'm praying that this isn't the UK's Matthew Shephard moment:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-15426893

Not that on its own it's any less horrific and twisted of course.

NO STEVIE HE DIDN'T BUT WAY 2 BRAG ANYWAY

drew OTM for realz upthread.

In my experience the decision to Act My Age around younger prey depends on the guy's demeanor. In a couple of cases "role playing" is unavoidable: he sought An Older Man, so that's what I'll play. I find the practice slightly loathsome because the exchanges can't escape a certain condescension, and it's alien to my nature.

it's not alien to my nature, but I think most younger men are confused when one breaks into laughter.

(i'm trying to parse the prey doing the seeking in the first 2 sentences)

A healthy sense of irony, like a well-used semicolon, is catnip.

This weekend I had an overnight encounter with a 52 year old who after we had already spent a lot of time together revealed his age like he was dropping bit of a bomb on me.

aww. was it fun?

jess what is the name of that kitty litter thing again?

It's Smart Cat Box. http://www.smartcatbox.com. I'm getting an error message when I visit the site right now, but it was working earlier today (I was buying more seeds, I wasn't just browsing).

lol

thanks!!

I started using it the first week of August and the 4 lb. bag of litter (seeds) lasted until the second week of October. That's longer than I should have waited before changing it and the seeds were beginning to lose their waterproof quality. It's probably realistic to say that a 4 lb. bag 6 weeks.

xp- NP! Also, FYI, I have two cats, one of whom I wonder if she is* sort of diabetic or something b/c she pees so much!

Anyway, I really recommend it with no significant qualifications.

yes you know - my cat is peeing more in her older age so i'm thinking this is the way to go

Sometimes I think about starting a thread in which I recommend products, "life hacks," and what not, and where others do the same. If there were such a thread, I would say: The Roomba is a miracle appliance. More value in my life than the dishwasher.

is that the DIY vacuum?

they need to make one of those that mops

and btw a "jesse reports" thread would be most welcome

very drunk 24yo hit on me while I was watching World Series in a gay sports bar. We kissed a little and I gave him a hug when I left.

It's kind of the opposite of "DIY"! It's DIFY (does it for you). And they do make one that mops

http://www.robotbuy.ca/images/products/secondary/125.jpg

I just remembered the name of M1ndy K@ling's blog: Things I've Bought that I Love.

I do not know what a Smart Cat Box is, but it sounds intriguing. Might have to get one for the boy's 4-month-old kitten.

Write-up of the queer camp @ Occupy Baltimore, wheeee!!!

http://www.baltimoreoutloud.com/lgbt-news/local-news/item/831-mortville-the-queer-encampment-at-occupy-baltimore

omg i want that mop

PS awesome Morbzy!!

great name choice. there's a punk house slash performance art/music venue in chicago called mortville that i always get dragged to, so usually the name has a semi-bad connotation for me, but it's really perfect for the circumstances (also: hi guys)

*~~**-Hi-**~~*

Who are you??

hi, uh, i live in chicago, have lurked ilx off and on for a long time but have only recently started posting a little bit?

Couple Chicago peeps on this thread (including me). Welcome. :)

hi, gays!

Huzzah!! I am so happy you decided to join us!!

You should be getting your honorary membership card and safer sex packet within 4-6 weeks.

Do you two know each other?

No, but I always get rly excited when we get new homos.

thanks stevie, although i'll probably lose the membership card like i did my cosi card and my blick card

the hipster thread is that way ====>

there's a punk house slash performance art/music venue in chicago called mortville

mortville!

mort is my middle name

woah. that's quite a revelation.

this is v exciting to have a new person on the thread.

the hipster thread is that way ====>

:( sry i didn't know cosi was so exclusive

i used to love cosi bc they had pizza that i liked, and smores, on the island

cosi the restaurant? there's no way that shit is hipster

there's a punk house slash performance art/music venue in chicago called mortville

mortville!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Desperate_Living

there's one in the lobby of my office building, it's p aight

good breakfast sandwiches

cosi's bagels are called "squagels" because they are square, and i always found that name disgusting but i sort of miss them now that i'm not next door to a cosi every day

Hi there, new person!

So I won a pile of booze at the gay film fundraiser silent auction last week (two bottles of scotch and one bottle each of silver tequila and spiced rum, to be precise). Unfortunately I feel sick-ish at the moment, but a good strong scotch totally relieves sinus congestion right?

i find a shot always goes a long way. a shot and then like keep drinking your water and tea or vitamins or whatever.

Or or or wait til roommate gets back and then make hot buttered rum??

cosi's bagels are called "squagels" because they are square, and i always found that name disgusting but i sort of miss them now that i'm not next door to a cosi every day

― 1staethyr, Wednesday, October 26, 2011 11:43 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark

lol i really would love to tell the founder of cosi that making a bagel a square instead of a circle and calling it a "squagel" doesn't make it unique or anything

everything in the score should be a square or served in a square cup

store*

a square bagel i just don't know - that's like against a law of nature

it's really stupid

i feel stupid saying "squagel" but i've worked at enough food chains with fucking stupid names for their products to know that the only person stupider than the person that doesn't say "squagel" is the person that goes out of their way to be to cool to say "squagel"

I only heard about squagles/Cosi through a David Cross bit. Had no idea they were real until I moved here. I like their caprese sandwich, which is especially good when I'm in the Loop, which is kind of a food desert after 7pm.

square was their thing tho huh? why is that

they just like, liked square things

right? like pizza slices, sandwiches. no? i feel everything was squarish

Ugh. I had no idea that Cosi called them "squagels"!

I never find myself at a Cosi. Usually Corner Bakery, though recently I've been in Au Bon Pains a couple of times.

Welcome 1staethyr! I'm a Chicagoan, too.

jesse ur so nice

i feel the world could use a few more ppl like u

Wow, thanks, though I'm not sure what I did that was nice!

i've seen "squonuts" in shops. gave them the side eye

Excuse my ignorance, but what is the significance of the name "Mortville"?

it's the name of the queer shantytown ruled by edith massey in desperate living

PS everyone there's an interesting bit of discussion on the OKC thread about gay stuff re: availability of NSA sex, having sex with friends, etc. if you guys wanna jump in

Just when you thought it was safe - OK CUPID PART 3: The Return of the WOO!

it's the name of the queer shantytown ruled by edith massey in desperate living

!! I LOVE Edith Massey and I can't believe I haven't seen Desperate Living! Gonna correct this problem this week. It's not available streaming or I would be watching it right now on the bus.

Desperate Living is up there with Female Trouble imo. Peak Waters.

I deleted OKC (again)

Still have my dummy profile up. Sound and fury, signifying nothing. Forgot my login.

i keep a google doc of all my logins for everything

SNAP

My logins and passwords are currently horribly undermanaged. I was keeping two very spearated spreadsheets, one on Google Docs with user names and the other hand written with passwords, but that was unwieldy.

I started using KeePass, but then I FORGOT THE MASTER PASSWORD :( and it has absolutely no recovery process, which is as it should be, but still a problem.

Now I use Last Pass, which is awesome, but I have been way too busy to input all the passwords.

The thought of snuggling up on the overstuffed chair with my laptop and a mocha at the adorable coffee shop by my house and spending a couple hours spiffing up my logins is like the dreamiest thing I can imagine right now. Especially if it were snowing outside.

Apparently it is queer film festival season in Montreal? Bunch of interesting looking stuff, including Weekend and a musical by Eytan Fox and We Were Here (doc about early AIDS crisis in SF). Any thoughts by those who have seen the above? Or better queer cinema from recent years?

Image+Nation is the festival in question, btw.

Also, a hearty welcome to our latest compatriot.

The massive construction on my bus route home is giving me more time to catch up with iLX guilt-free. Missed y'all.

I missed you too. How's law school?

i forgot my passwords to EVERYTHING online. h8 our brave new digital world so much

It's chugging along. More practical/activist-y extra-curricular law-related work is keeping me sane (pro bono whatnot, course development, etc. etc.). This semester I'm getting rid of a lot of mandatories, so it's fairly dry but next semester should be fucking awesome.

This is a light week, and I have a functional computer once more, so life is good. Essentially.

We Were Here doesn't reinvent the interviews-and-clips doc, but it's solid, esp for people who weren't in old San Francisco (me included). And some of the stories are harrowing, obviously.

i finally picked up the samuel steward biography. it's good! it's been making me think about desire in a clear-headed way -- very new for me, lol. when it comes to sex, i think i've always confused histrionics with passion. now i'm seeing how clarity can actually uncover passion, if that makes any sense.

also, has anyone ever been to langlitz leathers in portland? i swooned like hell, it's amazing. the whole shop is pretty much there to see. $1500 leather jackets crammed next to each other on dowel racks. the guy behind the counter was really really nice too.

Pardon the interruption: If a young man responds with an enthusiastic "I love to craft!" when faced with a query regarding the art projects and happily shows up at a work Halloween party wearing monkey ears and tail, is it possible that he might belong to your brotherhood?

possible and indeed probable

j/k idk

I don't really think the costume means anything, but "I love to craft!" otoh

new ish of the wire came in the the mail today with "dr3w daniel on queer sound" on the cover, i was like "oh hey!"

he's famous

so listen, there's an underwear party in the hood tonight. i just don't know. i have not been going out for a while and i'm feeling sensi. what do we think about this

i think i could keep my shirt on tho

so it would be more like a shirt and minis

it's like a dance party with DJ's you know it's not a eyes wide shut type thing

well, what fun is that?

sometimes ur very smart

anyone else? gut instincts? reactions? what is everyone out?

and btw virginia honey any guy who says he loves to craft is blowin some smoke in the opposite direction if you know what i'm sayin mokaaay

I am being sick for Halloween. (not by choice)

Although maybe for the better since I put no thought at all into a costume this year. I'm bad at Halloween.

i'm sorry dollface

Haha, it's probably for the best if he is gay because otherwise, oops sexual harassment, but on the other hand, how often does an adorable young man fall into my life? Will report back. (He also dresses well and has really nice shoes, and a good haircut, if that's of any import.)

that's hot

out of my league.

get well, donna. I was going to be Jack in The Shining bcz I have the unshaven slob look right now, but didnt buy an axe. (also, I don't like the film, but I can do a reasonable Nicholson)

He is totally hot. Sigh. He doesn't seem gay, but maybe Midwestern gays are different?

I'm seeing "The Shining" at MOMI tomorrow night, 7 pm, if you need any inspiration. I was Harriet the Spy today at work.

Did you wear a hoodie and Converse sneakers and carry a notebook?

Of course. Also wore glasses, binoculars around neck, utility belt with a flashlight, magnifying glass and pouch attached to it. Forgot the Swiss army knife and tomato sandwiches.

Harriet the Spy changed my life b/c it was from her that I learned of the glorious tomato sandwich.

Oh god, I let summer pass without a farmer's market tomato in a sandwich :(

Guy from country bar called and left a voicemail. He sounded so nervous!

ugh, terrible week. i swear, if i fall for another straight boy (and the intern, of course)...:/

hey j0rdan, did you ever try grindr in columbia? good/bad?

well i don't have an iphone so, no

they just got on android recently, been thinking about it, but the immediacy of it bothers me

you kids & Grindr. It's cheating.

grindr for blackberry still hasn't emerged despite their promises

displeased about the growth of halloween as a thing in the uk, h8 fancy dress, it stresses me out. i am going to a halloween rave tonight though.

ha i'm doing the same and uhh... my friend somehow convinced me to go as a wrestler! it's probably been 15 years since i've gone anywhere near a costume, so this is no small feat.

i blacked out at a halloween party last year and later discovered that i behaved terribly. i was dressed as dionysus so i guess i can blame it on an invocation of the godform, but tbh i'm okay with staying in this year and watching just watching some cronenberg & argento flix.

Last night was all Hallowe'en drama and debauchery. But also a lot of dancing, so that was fun.

Went half-assed on costume this year. Just a cowboy, which is boring as fuck compared to last year's high concept group modern art gallery. But I couldn't think of anything as good, so didn't really bother.

Two minds about costumes. They feel like a pain in the ass obligation most years but on the few occasions when you think of something really fun/clever, they can be a blast. Two of my friends went as Cruella deVille and a Dalmatian.

I wore a lycra skeletonsuit costume to DJ in last night at this techno Halloween party at the Bank in Baltimore

kind of a crazy rollercoaster evening

con: a beer was accidentally spilled into my laptop, fucking it up and curtailing my dj set (laptop is now okay, getting cleaned/fixed)
pro: went home with two friends and had ridiculous triangular liason till 5 am
con: had to get up again at 8 am and put on suit and tie to be presentable at university function

so, downs n ups n downs basically

there's hope for us all

Harriet the Spy changed my life

Mine too! And I spied on my neighbors.

too broke to do anything for hw, but I'm not bummed.

going to see a 3D Soviet film (1947) tonight

snow/ice/slush in NY on Oct 29 is creepy enough for me

oh, and (tmi): messing around with a boy and girl at the same time is weird

I remember "Harriet the Spy" having a curiously strong emotional impact on me too

Doesn't it have a friendship-reversal-plot ala "Blubber"? (not to say that they're similar, but)

Sorry, gays: I don't care at all for Halloween, although I usually go to a couple of homo benefit parties. I won't this year though. Plus, in this town you gotta drive everywhere, and the cops are merciless.

oh, and (tmi): messing around with a boy and girl at the same time is weird

It's weird if they're a couple.

My ridiculously simple costume this year is gonna be

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljxq9k7fG51qbqoxjo1_500.gif

I've always wondered what would happen in that scenario and I feel like no matter what it'd be me on the guy and the girl on the guy and the other guy on the girl and it would just be weird.

It's the usual threesome drama compounded: either everybody's interested or it's drama in the morning.

hmmm, same w/ male couple the one time i did that

Doesn't it have a friendship-reversal-plot ala "Blubber"? (not to say that they're similar, but)

Yeah, kinda.

The ending of Harriet the Spy is one of the most poignant I've read. Fitzhugh finds the right note ("Sometimes you have to lie").

<3 Ole Golly.

In March 2010, Disney Channel premiered an all-new version of the story, entitled Blog Wars, with Wizards of Waverly Place cast member Jennifer Stone as Harriet, Alexander Conti from Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005) as Harriet's friend Sport, and Degrassi: The Next Generation's Melinda Shankar as Janie.

Oh dear.

oh, and (tmi): messing around with a boy and girl at the same time is weird

It's weird if they're a couple.

― lumber up, limbaugh down (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, October 29, 2011 6:29 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

in this case- I had a long n torrid affair with the guy ending a year ago, he used to go out with the girl, and I've been making out with the girl lately at shows in a "drunk n experimental so fuckit" kinda mode, so there are various layers of "ex-ness" going on too

fun, would do again

haha excellent -- you're my kind of hedonist, dr#w.

We def must meet if I visit Baltimore soon.

Leave it to you guys to turn an innocent Halloween discussion into a litany of all our perversions. God luv ya <3

sorry, I should have focused on the skintight skeleton outfit. I was just trying to imitate this scene:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1DmdgOdHgw

holler at me alfred if you come thru Baltimore, though Stevie D and Tabes can attest that I am often kinda slammed with work and tend to only socialize in brief manic outbursts (#compensatingforbeingaworkaholic)

If you wear that costume when we meet I'll take it as a brief manic outburst.

Changed my mind. I'm now going out dressed as "bondage." (Thematic costume, more so. Not actual bondage gear.)

oh bondage up yours

Whatever I do tonight I'm going to listen to Change's "The End" ad infinitum.

Awfully hard to type this way.

i'm being lazy and going as a Lost Boy. there's something about Halloween that has started to rub me the wrong way as i get older. but then again, i've also grown to really dislike dressing up. let me wear my fucking black cut-off shirt with my black jeans and my black combat boots, like i do every day.

evidence: my housemate just put some mascara and eye-shadow on me, and i couldn't stop giggling because it tickles so much, and then she said, "you're so butch when it comes to make-up."

Morbs, I was thinking tonight of dressing up as Shelly Duvall in the Shining: beige turtleneck sweater underneath green checkered cambray shirt, brown overall corduroy culottes, sheepskin and suede booties, and a knife. Maybe next year we can coordinate as a duo.

Please do that, and deliver everything you say in a really unnatural and forced manner.

grindr for blackberry still hasn't emerged despite their promises

it has, i use it but it glitchy as hell. i hate my blackberry but i got it free as a friend's cast off.

weird night: i went to a friend's for a drink and walked home past the uni - lots of hot boys dressed up. half a mile further on i catch up with gorilla-suited guy (sans mask) with a northern irish accent asking me if he was walking in the direction of town and explaining that he had to get to his mate's flat so that he could get some sleep before his 10am flight to belfast. i explained that he wasn't but if he walked with me for a bit he could get to the main road where he could get a taxi.

as we are walking he told me he had lost his friends because he had gone back to a girl's flat and she had thrown him out. the guy seems adorable (he's 21, 21, 21...) so i sympathise with him. shortly afterwards he asks me where i've been and i tell him about my uneventful night. after that he asks me if i'm top or bottom (!), taken aback slightly (although i was getting a vibe off him) i say that i'm mostly top "but it depends" etc... he tells me he's bottom. okay....

when we get to the main road and find a taxi he ends up coming back to mine, i'm pretty excited, this hasn't really happened to me before and he's hot. we get straight down to it as soon as we get into the flat. he takes off his gorilla suit and he's wearing jeans but no top under it. a quick feel tells me his cock is fucking massive, yep.

after some kissing and to-ing and fro-ing and whatever else (i'll spare you) he's trying to fuck me but it's not really happening so i try to fuck him which i do relatively successfully (actually not too well tbh) but i'm so het-up i come pretty fast (shit happens) and have to end up... well, whatever, fill in the blanks.

as soon as he's done he gets up and goes back through to the lounge to put on his jeans and gorilla suit again. i get up and ask him if he wants me to phone a taxi? i phone several numbers but they're all engaged, it's Halloween weekend, after all. he's getting pretty stroppy by this point, actually, smoking a cigarette in the flat without asking and flicking the ash on the floor - he starts throwing a rubber-band ball around the room, knocks over a painting and is generally being a bit threatening, he's a big guy, much bigger than me. i can see the main road from my window so i can see that there are lots of taxis on the street and they're all going back into town empty so i tell him where to go to flag one down.

after he leaves i breathe a sigh of relief but as i look the back window to watch him go i wait, and wait... it seems he's taking ages to leave the building. i realise why as soon as i see him - he's stolen my bike which i generally leave on the half landing unchained (silly i know) and he's opening the garden gate and getting on to it. i grab my keys and run like fuck down the stairs. i'm wearing jeans and socks and nothing else. by the time i get to the gate he's only 50 yards on because he's so drunk and i live on a cobbled lane which is a nightmare to cycle on - unfortunately it's also a nightmare to run on since i've only got socks on and it's been raining. i'm gaining ground on him though. it seems it's easier to run in socks on wet cobbles than it is to cycle in a gorilla suit on wet cobbles.

just as he's about to reach the end of my lane and turn onto the tarmacked part on the next street & therefore gaining ground on the flat surface (shakespeare street, my side street is called hathaway lane, i love this fact) i see a guy walking towards him who seems to work out the situation without me calling for help, i can;t anyway cos i'm so out of breath. the approaching guy grabs the handlebars of the bike and it topples over. gorrilla suit (brian) falls off but rights himself pretty fast and runs ahead but the nice guy has my bike. he's pissing himself laughing and asks what the situation was and i make up some b.s. about a Halloween party that got out of hand. it doesn't even make any sense to me as i'm telling it and he's looking at me oddly but laughing good-naturedly anyway.

so i shagged a 21 y.o. irish lad with a massive shaved cock and i still have my bike and all's well, i guess. THE END.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmOoekbK6YI

wait what jed? that is fucking crazy.

it was kind of good that i posted that shining scene right after :-)

anyway, i'm about to go to the party i promote. halloween themed. ay! it's going to be nuts.

haha tl,dr obviously. i just write that for myself so i could remember the night before i go to bed. night-night.

have a good party! x

oh it's definitely worth reading. crazy story. glad you and your bicycle are all right. gnight.

GOOD STORY

best story. That's crazy.

yeah, only my last roommate (1995)'s tricks stole anything of mine (electric razor).

so i shagged a 21 y.o. irish lad with a massive shaved cock

must. visit. Ireland.

Went to the gay bar in Slope where there were a lot of opera costumes (big-boned bartender as Brunhilde). Then to my gay friend's 'regular' bar filled with 28ish kiddies. I step out to the snowy patio w/ him and we hear some str8guy (v hot) relating how he thought the girl he fucked last week "broke his dick" since it was sore for days after; she kept interrupting the fucking w/ going down on him, and he'd never been hard for 2 hours w/out coming before.

I told him "I'm in my fifth hour right now."

morbs!!

surm (and hi everyone else, str8 dude checking in on yall's (bookmarked) thread), I saw some guys on atlantic in full secret mask regalia that may have been bound for the party you were considering? they looked good. also, playing your (what i think is yr work?) tomorrow. maybs see you down there

woah! r u playing with sufjan?

yep tmrw, u work?

o god no, i worked all day today

sorry to miss u though, the show looks cool

yeah! catch u nxt time, be eeeasy

you too dude, be good

I went to a soul night that my friends didn't show up to, and spent most of the night dancing with a cute girl who was dressed as Nancy Drew until I had to run out and catch the last bus home. Rather uneventful by comparison.

Jed, that is a totally nutso story! Glad you got the bike back tho, I'd've been furious if he'd gotten away.

Ended up having Halloween funtimes after all! Went to get bent's party where we all watched the Paul Lynde Halloween Special (featuring Florence Henderson, Betty White and KISS) and then went to a crazy warehouse party in Lincoln Heights. My roommate, our friend and I dressed as Party Down caterers, matching pink bowties and all (I even managed to find identical serving trays for us at the very last minute).

Ladies and gentlemen, jed.

Great story, jed. Well worth reading.

Table, I love that scene from The Shining.

My Halloween partying was a movie marathon at a friend's house. 7 horror movies in a little over 12 hours. We chose movies that none of the organizers had seen before and we wound up with a pretty nice variety.

Today, rock climbing even though I have a little cold, and then maybe going to see Future Islands? I want to not go climbing b/c I'm sick but last week my arm was injured and if I miss two weeks in a row I'm not going back.

Oh man Jed your story rules

haha, cheers. i kept waking up last night wondering about this really vivid dream i had had before realising that it actually happened.

can't believe he ashed on your floor, i woulda lost it

Oh, Corey: I bought a b&w baja yesterday!

It finally happened: I met a namesake.

good afternoon

sorry yr fave unemployed basketball guy-reality hoe newlyweds broke up.

good morning/afternoon!

i have a date tonight, in pasadena! i have never been to pasadena before.

morbs he's so hot

a date!! who is the guy? is he cutey?

i like pasadena. there's an old bar there, i hope it's still there, where you can still smoke (on the d/l). xp

pasadena seems p chill from what everyone's told me about it

r4mz, his friend approached me in the bathroom line after my groundbreaking karaoke performance of "moonlight shadow" to ask if i was single, and then i approached him on the dance floor later.

this is v storybook

crazy weekend guys, went to glasgow, ended up trying to rob some dude's bike

this guy

what was al ship doing in Glasgow?

stevie d could you please like email me or something

al did u ever get a hug?

ugh T i wish you were here for pacific standard time

i mean, besides by me and darraghmac earlier xp

t3d, is this that guy you don't like? bcz based on this article i'm inclined to agree:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/03/fashion/rhyme-or-reason-alex-dimitrovs-wilde-boys-salon-for-poetry-or-maybe-a-hot-date.html?_r=2&ref=fashion&pagewanted=all

ugh T i wish you were here for pacific standard time

― vitameatawalloginavegamin (donna rouge), Tuesday, November 1, 2011 11:36 PM (2 days ago)

i had no idea what you meant by this until a girl in my class was telling me about it today. i thought you were just referring to time zones are were potentially high.

nearly posted that in the quiddities NYT thread. ugh, I get rlly homophobic when I read that shit; have your lil fashion twink reading on a raft off Fire Island, preferably in a bad storm.

xp

one of the guys in the lead photo is a friend of mine

this is about halfway vicious enough a response:

http://www.theatlanticwire.com/entertainment/2011/11/attractive-young-writers-finally-find-way-hook/44495/

i can't even care enough to read that times article, it's basically a vom-fest in text

i miss nyc less and less every time i read about things like that

I hate it when reasonably smart, reasonably attractive people are all gathered in one spot!

otm

are u guys saying u r not annoyed by that write-up

what on earth is wrong with those guys' mouths?!

They either got fresh liposuction or gave fresh blowjobs.

" Stylishly disheveled and slimly tailored, they took stock of one another at the bar"

i.e. "They checked each other out"

R Lawson hit nail on head:

the poetry salon Wilde Boys has been formed with the express purpose of walling the beautiful bon vivants in and the malformed SUNY grads out.

I do admire his honesty: it's something I would said to the reporter.

“I invited the cute gay poets right away,” Mr. Dimitrov said. “I sort of had a list of gays that I wanted to come, and some of them that I wanted to sleep with.”

Would bet 90% of the poetry they have to listen to sucks, so there's that.

pretension soup

or blows

i have no problem with smart attractive people, it is the airs that i have a problem with. i have no patience for airs.

speaking of airs, they probably all wore the worst cologne.

ie, cologne

I wouldn't listen to the poetry most SUNY grads I've met wrote.

are u guys saying u r not annoyed by that write-up

Didn't get that far, tbh; TG;DR

POETRY AS PICKUP LINES:

“This is actually my first salon that I’m attending as a single bachelor,” he said. Having poems as a centerpiece of the night, he added, helped ease him back into the group. “You kind of forget that we’re all attracted to each other and want to go home together.”

poems as lubricant

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

You'd prefer lube as poetry?

"The lube was a poem."

At work, so I can't quite pull up the embarrassing litany of Astroglide pr0netry I know exists.

i didn't even read it. the opening graf made me cringe. plus whogivesashit.jpg. fussy self-involved privileged young gay men with literary aspirations surrounded by stupid furniture boners. i'll take ugly and stupid, thanks.

tbh they're really not even that attractive

"furniture boners"!

now, see, THAT is a poetic figure.

starting Ugly & Stupid salon at my apartment; lube provided

^^^ spring gay thread title

The guy organizing it is pretty fine imo. The rest maybe not so much.

googled "ugly gays" and got

http://rantventrant.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/ugly-lesbians.jpg

I'm ugly and stupid, but you don't see me going around celebrating the fact.

i just realized i know the guys who's apartment that is as well. i work with them; they send my office brownies at christmastime.

haa they found each other! xp

surm maybe you can infiltrate the salon and report back!

lol that would be SO COOL if i could make it thru the night without impaling myself with a cheese knife

i'm probably mustering more hatred for this than i otherwise might because i just watched 'metropolitan' last night

The guys in Metropolitan are more smhable than Queer Poesy in Williamsburg.

my bf just told me he's 'friends' with dimitrov on facebook bc dimitrov randomly friended him a couple of years ago. he's like, i have no idea why he friended me. just the whole idea of this guy setting himself up with an arbitrary circle of friends-gone-possible-fuckbuddies skeeves me out.

The only thing that would skeeve me out about it is not being selected to join the circle.

the new york times is so weird why are they covering a private party

bcz everyone is well-dressed and Important.

(I'm sure their mentors and sugar daddies can dress how they like, tho)

I wonder if you gays will like Noel Coward's letter counseling a heartsick Marlene Dietrich:

http://selfstyledsiren.blogspot.com/2011/11/noel-coward-tells-marlene-snap-out-of.html

I don't mind this "peek" into privilege.

xpost

ugh, idk man, that salon sounds like an absolute nightmare

I think I just stumbled (via Facebook) onto the fact that a fairly well-known gay pr0n star also works at my parent company.

oh, that Ch4rles 0sg00d!

that poetry thing seems too remote to get worked up about. there was a guy i thought was cute in one of the photographs.

also btw hi

Update: he's not gay! (He mentioned a former girlfriend.) But he is 23 and nominally my employee.

He says he likes to watch old movies but has no one to watch them with . . . how can I refuse?

CAREFUL!

surm today i had a conversation with a girl in my class about my so called life and she brought up how rayanne does an angela chase impression in the our town episode

she's like "and then your face falls"

it was a major bonding experience

I wonder if you gays will like Noel Coward's letter counseling a heartsick Marlene Dietrich

About as much as this series:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2N2vNpHR0a0

i'm sure it was plaxi, ur very bondable

at the NY FAP last night, I threated to get a mobile device as soon as there's an app to find older gsy men near you, which would be activated by answering questions about Judy Garland films or Queen albums. It would be called Limpr.

:|

Here's an enema, old man.

lolll DR MORBIUS

i'm listening to a radio pgm from the late '60s with gay men talking about bars/hangouts/cruising spots of the time in nyc. there was once a bar in north bergen, nj called Charlie Dickens

one of the hosts says he goes to cruise bingo halls in east village churches at least once a week

It would be called Limpr.

Eldr

goitr

one of the hosts says he goes to cruise bingo halls in east village churches at least once a week

― vitameatawalloginavegamin (donna rouge), Thursday, November 3, 2011 2:44 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

nice boys with their mothers?

oh man that nyt thing about the salon, barf city

the vampiric way that older-n-wealthy transacts access to young-n-cute by way of a supposed passion for "poetry" is really grotesque

the Lillian Vernon angle is hilariously naff too

I mean, yeah, twas ever thus- looks help, and who you know helps, and that's always been true in life, duh, but still . . . this is so blatant

I've always been annoyed by this phenomenon in the art world, what my bf and I call "Cute boy art", that is young/emerging gay artists whose work is heavily narcissistic and which tends to commodify and sell access to either the (attractive) artist's body or the hot bodies/faces of the demimonde of their friends/lovers/peers- and you can see this across the arts scene- the breakout of Anthony Goicolea, Ryan McGinley in the last decade- it perpetuates this proximity between "gay" and "goodlooking"/vapid/narcissistic/shallow/looks-ist which I see as implicitly different from, say, the "queer" abjection school- of a Robert Gober or a Jerome Caja or the more humane and measured presentations of, say, Cathy Opie

I never really thought that poetry would be amenable to this kind of bimbo-ification because it's mediated through texts and, y'know, not about "looking" in the first place

guess I was wrong

I wonder if he's getting invited:

http://gawker.com/5785017/this-awful-poetry-video-is-not-a-spoof

The way to put a stop to the cute boy objectification is to ask the twink-poets how well they know Raphael's parts in Paradise Lost.

paul mpagi sepuya

ugh THANK YOU xp. i hate cute boy art. i can't even tell you how much i hate it.

omg and i was JUST thinking of paul sepuya! i've met him, he shows at our gallery once. i hate his stuff.

i've met him too, he's a sweetie

but generally, yeah, "cute boy art", meh

i started a thread about something related to this a while back, and i mentioned sepuya's fotographs in there, tho i don't think by name Sex, drugs and art (and you)

n+1 had an article recently about the "two ryans" of contemp art (mcginley/trecartin) and how they represent a divide in thinking about/expressing queerness post-21st c and what have you. my allegiances are pretty firmly with the latter (messy and boisterous and exclamatory over tasteful and "looking"-y and overly, uh, aesthetic or something)

I mean it's not that I don't love looking at beautiful people- of course I do- but we have a pornography industry and a fashion industry and a movie star / TV / media "hotness" factory already- yes we also have an art practice that is free to draw on everything in order to fuck around with what gets called art- yadda yadda- but so often I feel like "cute boy art" is dog-paddling along on cuteness/hotness in ways that are so derivative of industries which are a lot more honest about their agenda- a jeans ad knows it's a jeans ad, porn knows that it is porn, but "cute boy art" stands in bad faith to those domains thinking that it is art if it's in a gallery and for sale and made by somebody with an MFA from some program in which they were graded more easily by their older gay mentor because of their entitled cute lil face- I'm not saying it's not art, just saying that it's bad art in that it contributes nothing other than "hey! a cute person! over here!"-

I mean, think about how "meh" you feel as a gay man when you see, say, an American Apparel ad with a hot chick in a tight/skimpy outfit- you see it and you recognize it for what it is and it does pretty much nothing for you from the waist down- that's what the str8 world gets out of gay coffeetable book after gay gallery after gay art show after gay retrospective of "cute boy art"- nothing more than the sense that "wow these gay dudes sure are obsessed with skinny twinks looking bored in sparkly white apartments, aren't they? anyway . . . "- which is, y,know, whatever- but if "gay art" means CARAVAGGIO-to-WARHOL and not *just* WARHOL (and yeah I picked these artists because both are relentlessly aware of male beauty as subject and problem) then "cute boy art" just isn't doing anything that ought to be celebrated or rewarded with our attention and care- the bar needs to be set higher in terms of technique, meaning, consequences, internal relationships- and that would probably bridge the gap from the cute to the beautiful in the process- sepuya's guys are cute, jack smith's art is beautiful; james bidgood is the ultimate problem here because it's "cute boy art" that transcends that to attain beauty (he's the Hegelian synthesis)

i can give or take much of ryan mcginley's work (tho he is occasionally stunningly brilliant) but i have a thing for ryan mcginley the person

I suspect the poetic equivalent of Cute Boy Art is Rupert Brooke. Aesthetic too.

I've been photographed by Ryan, I like his work, and he's hot (otherwise we wouldn't have taken our clothes off for BUTT) but . . . I can still call a spade a spade

i really love what you're saying.

i mean - i would LOVE to have a jeans ad hanging up in my apartment

really would

but not a sepuya :(

i also think that art is often made in a kind of social way, or that milieu and coterie impact heavily on how and why people bother making things. desire and bodies. what irks me more is the self-consciousness of it, the obsession with certain codifications of how that milieu should look, a focus on a certain stylisation: this poetry salon seems so deliberately reverential and referential. my god a salon. or even that butt magazine style revival of a sortof retroed queerness. although really a lot of this is just people with money having high concept parties.

To play devil's advocate: if I'm a queer scion and putting money into a "scene" or look, I want my money's worth, i.e. attractive butts reading fourth-rate homo poetry.

i mean its your money i guess

yeah i think butt mag has a lot to do w/ "cute boy" art, like it's always bothered me how they focus more on the subject's looks and sex life than the work that they do?

than on the work that they do

not trying to blame butt magazine for the phenomenon obvs

best gay male zing line about poetry's relationship to getting laid is frank o'hara's: "As for measure and other technical apparatus, that's just common sense: if you're going to buy a pair of pants you want them to be tight enough so everyone will want to go to bed with you. There's nothing metaphysical about it.”

only now we've got the consequences of that flippant remark but not the brains and nous that backed it- a poetry salon scene that is, ala Dr. Seuss, "a pair of tight pants with nobody inside them"

(that said, I can't dislike Eileen or Brenda or Susan etc. i.e. their cast of Ladies They Love has some undeniable greats)

Huh, poetry day. Now I know how Morbs feels when the topic turns to food.

I have to admit that I've always been closed off to the artistic power of poetry outside of the weird exception of Robert Creeley.

heh, i was in a writing workshop class w/ sepuya @ nyu

like wtf is this

http://paulsepuya.com/newsite/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/1120515cb-450x600.jpg

o WOW how insightful

i can't.

rawr, et al, fuiud

haha surm

I try not to think about the whole "cute ____ boy" thing too much bcz it just frustrates me. Like, "Okay we're all going to be wanted and win at everything because of this sorta arbitrary thing that we just happen to have and you can just go stand in that corner over there"

Like, sorry I'm not beautiful. Don't even bother having a conversation with me or anything; clearly I'm not worth talking to and won't have anything interesting to say.

you are beautiful

that picture of you with chocolate all over yourself from a while back - shits all over all of it :)

yeah really stevie

Hah! I totally forgot that existed--did I actually post that?? Ooops. I mean I guess that sounded way more mopey and self-pitying than it was supposed to and it's not like I think I'm hideously ugly or something but idk, sometimes I think it wd be nice to be more "conventionally attractive" or whatever. Of course, this is mostly just insecurities talking and 99% of the time I'm p damn content w who I am and fuiud, etc.

Poetry only breaks through to me on rare occasions, E, so don't feel so bereft.

The more I plumb the depths of an alluring man who's not 'conventionally 'hot, he seems infinitely sexier than some unapproachable random lovely.

rawr, et al, fuiud

― dor Dumbeddownball (Eric H.), Friday, 4 November 2011 13:27 (27 minutes ago)

pretty cantankerous lately, huh? or has that always been your thing?

What, I'm the only one that can't lay down the fuiud card?

it was just kind of random but do what you need to do

It was not random and fuiud.

Larry Kramer mad.

Sun sets in west.

what should i order for lunch

Corned beef and hash, mimosa.

what abouuuuuut . . . . . a falafel wrap and tabouleh?

I guess there's a point to being mad as long as gays are stupid enough to love Obama and give $ to HRC.

man, talk about a morning where all i'm doing is catching up on my internet ranting and rebutting and raving....

Alex Dimitrov is a self-serving, assimilationist, trust funded, elitist piece of garbage. His poetry is fucking awful sentimental garbage with no insight into anything of much substance except feelings that housewives and dumb rich faggots can appreciate. Fuck his salon, fuck its attendees, fuck him.

Seriously, I encourage everyone to go here and read this shit: http://alexdimitrov.blogspot.com/ .

He is the one who once said to me, "I'm not interested in politics, I'm interested in poetry," which is perhaps one of the most ignorant statements I've been witness to in the past couple of years. And that's saying a lot, as I'm sure you all can surmise.

wow, this guy is a real dumbass

i never want to look at that website again.

i'm hardly an expert on what constitutes 'good' poetry but that one on the front page of his blog is pretty dull

the picture of him in paris pretty much says it all

he comes from the Mark Doty/Sarah Lawrence school of poetry that says and does nothing except appeal to the trite emotions of the ruling class. There are plenty of ways to write beautiful, inspiring poems that actually have some substance, politically and socially. But his do not.

aieeeeeeeeee:

http://www.lambdaliterary.org/features/poetry-spotlight/10/05/alex-dimitrov-james-franco/

What is also really quite interesting is that one of his largest supporters and mentors, Marie Howe, is the sister of Susan Howe, whose poetry and criticism is wildly experimental, critical, and gorgeous. Dimitrov also once said to me that he 'doesn't understand' Susan's work, which betrays not only a lack of imagination and insight but also a profound lack of curiosity in exploring more adventurous work.

ok, that one is just dreadful. like i would actually just laugh at him if i were at one of his readings

He's probably the only person I stay friends with on Facebook just so I can become totally enraged.

also, in terms of the cute boy art phenomenon— i believe i've stated my problems with the whole thing here before, but i tend to agree with dr3w and others. THOUGH setting up weird binaries b/w Trecartin (whose work i find fascinating but weirdly unwatchable, for some reason) and McGinley (whose work i find gorgeous if sentimental and foolish) is not really my perogative.

drew, just as a question: how do you feel about Bruce LaBruce, or Guy Maddin? what about some of the emergin cute buy artists, like Gio Black Peter? curious.

oh hey, susan howe was with WBAI! we've got some recordings of her

here is a marie howe poem:

Hurry
BY MARIE HOWE
We stop at the dry cleaners and the grocery store
and the gas station and the green market and
Hurry up honey, I say, hurry,
as she runs along two or three steps behind me
her blue jacket unzipped and her socks rolled down.

Where do I want her to hurry to? To her grave?
To mine? Where one day she might stand all grown?
Today, when all the errands are finally done, I say to her,
Honey I'm sorry I keep saying Hurry—
you walk ahead of me. You be the mother.

And, Hurry up, she says, over her shoulder, looking
back at me, laughing. Hurry up now darling, she says,
hurry, hurry, taking the house keys from my hands.

and here is some of Susan's work:

http://www.english.illinois.edu/maps/poets/g_l/howe/sample.htm

i like that poemmm

it is the closed quotidian versus the openness of past, present, future. that is simplifying, yes, but the latter is certainly more engaging and challenging than the former, which is comfortable.

okay, done with my crazy poetry talk.

that's a v good poem imo

Susan Howe, whose boyfriends are wildly experimental, critical, and gorgeous

I read the entirety of In Memoriam for the first time since the nineties, maybe the most homoerotic poem ever written by a straight poet.

lol my bf was invited to that salon on facebook - he's not even a writer!

I bet he could churn out something of "James Franco" caliber for it!

lol.

i mean also, not to be a snotty shitbag, but that marie howe poem is garbage, imho.

agree with table. I'm not fond of poetry that looks like an upset stomach.

omg i'm sick of talking about this guy

http://www.cardmaking-companion.com/images/i-made-this-card-for-my-daughter-for-valentines-day-21306970.jpg

that marie howe poem belongs inside the above

what happened to us we just went on a trashtalkin bender

on the other hand I would allow James Franco to scribble sonnets on my body.

DONE.

let's talk about real things, like how i woke up on november 1st and two of my housemates looked at me and said, "we had to put earplugs in last night."

You farting bastard.

Did you eat Taco Bell the night before?

what, you leave the ball gag in the drawer on Halloween?

lol, morbz spot on. one of my housemates even said, 'i'm going to give th3o recommendationg for ball-gags when he gets out of bed.'

i am going to shave tonight

my face

(!!!!!!!!!!!!)

table im really liking your display name bc my new school friend is a lesbian who went to smith

that dimitrov guy has weird eyebrows, they make him look like he has an evil soul

so i chatted a bit with this guy on grindr this weekend. he'd messaged me before, usually stuff like "hello cute boy" or "good evening handsome man". i talked to him for a bit and he told me that he was so happy that i was talking to him and that sometimes he logs into grindr just so he can see my face because it makes him happy.

i need to get rid of this thing.

lolll

"good evening handsome man"

Kinda lol but also mostly sad is that I just shot a story about the new rock climbing gym in Mpls. and felt really awesome that I got some digits of one of the workers there so we could climb together at some point. Sad because there's no way the guy's not straight.

he's also "discreet"

er, xp

discreep am i right

lol i always think of discreet as being a kindof cute archaism .

God I fucking hate when people address me as "sexy" or "handsomel"

What about "girl"?

There was supposed to be a lot more to that post but Zing got in the way. The other day I realized how I was largely sick of Scruff/Grindr and I think I'm just going to stop initiating conversations altogether and see if anyone messages me. I erased all the profile stuff and just wrote something dumb about dancing to New Order

I mean "sexy" or "handsome" or whatever is fine if we are friends and we've already established that (and even then it's mostly tongue in cheek) but ffs that is nagl for attempted flattery from strangers

i think i realized tonight that my ideal man is topher grace circa 1999

so hot

"man"

Raise the year to 2001 and I agree.

hmmm. you mighta liked me around 1985.

pix or it didn't happen

steve what are your feelings on the term "studmuffin"

In Good Company gave us a task of Solomonic complexity: deciding between Dennis Quaid and Topher.

steve what are your feelings on the term "studmuffin"

It sounds disgusting. There are much nicer ways to chip a tooth.

Like on a Quaalude.

Grindr sounds more like okc than I realized. I didn't know there was any preliminary conversating--I thought maybe you just pressed a button and proceeded to the sexing.

Things are going well with my 23 y.o. Took the train home together last night and talked about men's fashion all the while. He says his favorite actress is Patricia Clarkson; could this mean he likes older women?

Maybe! That sounds cute! And yeah, Grindr can be whatever you want I to. Its all chat-based and some people just want to exchange stats and pictures and a meeting time/location but that's sort of dull.

pix or it didn't happen

― surm, Tuesday, November 8, 2011 7:53 AM (2 hours ago) Bookmark

Grindr's reputation for being mostly for immediate hook-ups is not in line with reality, IMO/IME, which is that many people who use it chat, date, hang out instead or first.

I do not scan old pics and put em on the web, but I do have some of my 1989 standup-comic glossies left. So start begging, surm & J0rd!

duuude you have to. we need to see the morbs of another time, the age of innocence

sarge made a terrible mistake mentioning the Toph before lunch.

well it was actually last night

before MY lunch

"lunch"

oh man I wanna see stand up Morbs

do it do it do it! upload that shit homie

Grindr can mean lots of time-wasting meaningless volleys of people saying "sup" and "hi" to each other for hours with no particular irl consequences

or sweet, lowkey chatting about stuff that is just fine with being chat and no more

or it can induce sero-to-100mph decadent crazy fuckfests with people you don't know before, during or after your experience with them

the choice is yours!

at chuck-o-rama

I thought about getting a Grindr account after The NYT said last Thursday that it was okay!

Grindr can also lead to all sorts of hilarious/awkward work situations

(i.e. your boss' boyfriend doesn't recognize you and initiates an exchange, your students are on there so if your profile pic is shirtless then, ta-da, you're exposing yourself to your students, etc.)

it can also become seriously addictive- you know you're in trouble if you're checking it while pissing at a urinal

kind of awesome to fire it up when a plane lands and find out who on the plane is a fag, how they look with their "gon get laid tonight" face on, etc.

life needs more mystery, i say.