fuck cancer

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ok, here goes.
after a long long day i have had a few glasses of red wine, so please bear with me.
on april 6th 2011 my wife was told "in error" that she had stomach cancer.
[long story - but this should have happened in my presence at some later pre-arranged time, but the fact was dropped while i was on childcare duties 30 miles away .. ]
given that my wife had previously been to see her GP for 2 years re ongoing stomach issues this came as no real surprise, but still, 2 years is quite a long time to have such concerns.
[turned out to be a stomach ulcer that had been left untreated .. resulting in the cancerous growth, but still the advise is that it has not spread beyond the stomach]
so after a 3 month stretch of radical chemo, to isolate and focus the growth, the surgeon today removed my wifes stomach, meaning that today is the beginning of a whole new life for us all.
so, the question is : are there ILX'r who have been through this process, as i have no idea as to what happens next !
how will she be able to digest food etc ?
and far more importantly, will red wine be no longer suitable as a method for her to deal with the daily demands of modern life ?
oh, and in the spirit of the original thread (i hate cancer) : fuck cancer.

mark e, Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:25 (eleven years ago) link

as far as i could tell (i looked - honest !) , ile needed a proper 'fuck cancer' thread.

mark e, Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:26 (eleven years ago) link

=( Best of luck to both of you

Elderflower Gimcrax Flores (admrl), Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:26 (eleven years ago) link

Oh fuck, I'm so very sorry to hear that. btw there is a 'curse cancer' thread but fuck anyone who holds this thread against you.

ceci n'est pas une witty dn (Schlafsack), Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:27 (eleven years ago) link

mark e, I am so sorry you and your wife are facing this. I know a few people who have had some or all of their stomach removed, for various reasons - each has certain foods that aren't processed well and so those are avoided, but digestion starts with chewing and nutrients are absorbed in the small intestine. One friend takes an additional enzyme with each meal, but the others eat smaller meals more frequently. They all are able to still enjoy alcohol, though I'm sure that can vary. See if you can find a support group locally or on-line that can help with the questions/concerns you will both be confronting. I wish your wife a rapid return to health and strength.

Jaq, Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:52 (eleven years ago) link

while i understand and appreciate the concerns, can i just state the following : today is a great great] day.
the surgery went well, my wife is ok (as far as i know), and that is a massive, repeat massive thrill-buzz.
oh, and while red wine is not the answer to most of our daily stresses it can form part of our occasional parental release ..
(i would prefer a very loud listen-n-dance session to kylie, but hey, cant have everythintg ! )

mark e, Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:59 (eleven years ago) link

others eat smaller meals more frequently. They all are able to still enjoy alcohol, though I'm sure that can vary.

have heard this from others.
only time will tell.

ta.

mark e, Thursday, 11 August 2011 00:28 (eleven years ago) link

Fuck cancer indeed, so many of my relatives are dead from or are have contracted some form of cancer.

Super Villains With Drum Machines (MintIce), Thursday, 11 August 2011 13:39 (eleven years ago) link

My paternal grandmother had her stomach removed for the same reason back in the 1960s. Although her meal size was reduced, she still very much enjoyed food and drink; one of the first things she taught my brother and me when we used to go and visit as wee lads was how to make a "proper" gin and tonic for her. She lived until she was 90.

I really hope your wife can continue to enjoy life in a similar spirit, and that she's making a fast and full recovery from the op.

that mustardless plate (Bill A), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 12:01 (eleven years ago) link

cheers bill.
cant believe that its only 7 days since surgery given that yesterday she was looking so good, and up and walking (aka "thank f*ck for the nhs").
and yes, the advise seems to be that she can eat-n-drink whatever.
there may be some food types that may cause issue, but hopefully, the main impact will be that meal times will be a lot more relaxed as opposed to gobble-and-go.

mark e, Wednesday, 17 August 2011 12:06 (eleven years ago) link

I guess it must not be too major to have your stomach removed since lots of people get their stomach removed who have a gastric bypass. I mean not too major compared to having your pancreas removed or your colon and getting an ostomy or something. I hope it goes well, I'm sure you will adapt in time and you will be just fine. SOrry to hear it

I love obscure members of the Athrotheiria mammal genus and... (Latham Green), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 13:34 (eleven years ago) link

four months pass...

My grandfather is in the last stage of leukemia. I am trying to keep in mind he had a long and healthy life so far. But given that his life wasn't too great, it's difficult...

nathom, Friday, 13 January 2012 13:51 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

exactly one year on and shit gets raised to a new level of emotional chaos.

we weren't even able to get away for 7 days for some well deserved family time without a mad midnight 250 mile dash to a&e.

oh, and all the positivity and hope i displayed earlier in this thread proved to be fucking worthless.

outcome post chemo/surgery : stage 4. terminal. no more treatment.

we currently live in waiting rooms dreading the test results.

fuck cancer.

mark e, Friday, 6 April 2012 20:47 (ten years ago) link

i'm really sorry, mark. my best wishes and support to you and your loved ones. and fuck cancer.

dayo, Friday, 6 April 2012 21:13 (ten years ago) link

mark, I'm so sorry. fuck cancer.

that mustardless plate (Bill A), Friday, 6 April 2012 22:29 (ten years ago) link

I am at a loss for words. I... I wish I could take some of the pain away. Fuck FUCK FUCK cancer. I am so so sorry.

Nathalie (stevienixed), Saturday, 7 April 2012 13:51 (ten years ago) link

How terrible. I wish you love. Fuck cancer.

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 7 April 2012 14:07 (ten years ago) link

Mark, I'm really, really sorry. My best wishes to you and your family.

God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Saturday, 7 April 2012 14:17 (ten years ago) link

Echoing the above. Utterly terrible news.

Ned Raggett, Saturday, 7 April 2012 14:18 (ten years ago) link

two weeks pass...

emsley clan : -1

cancer scoreboard : +1

fuck cancer.

mark e, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:27 (ten years ago) link

Mark, I'm so sorry; my condolences to you and your family.

I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:29 (ten years ago) link

oh Mark I am so sorry. sending you love and support in this time.

cosi fan whitford (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:31 (ten years ago) link

echoing the above. my sincere condolences to all of you

dayo, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:35 (ten years ago) link

A hug and kiss for you, Mark.

Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:37 (ten years ago) link

echoing the above. my sincere condolences to all of you

― dayo, Thursday, April 26, 2012 8:35 AM (1 minute ago)

^^^ So sorry, Mark. Fuck cancer.

improvised explosive advice (WmC), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:39 (ten years ago) link

Sending you love and the tiniest lightening of this burden. I'm so sorry.

how did I get here? why am I in the whiskey aisle? this is all so (Laurel), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:40 (ten years ago) link

i'm so sorry mark.

diafiyhm (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:42 (ten years ago) link

Horrible news, very sorry to hear this, good thoughts to you and family Mark.

ooooiiiioooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaoooooh un - bi - leevable! (LocalGarda), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:46 (ten years ago) link

ta for the wired tlc ..

this just goes to prove that even in this day and age of techno miracles, in the majority of cases, the powers that be really dont have a grasp on this evil disease.

we were told back in december that there was a good chance of 12 months of settled life.

to say the last 4 months have been a living hell of health related shyte would be an understatement.

we have no let up from the hospital/a&e chaos, so in some ways, i'm glad that she is now no longer suffering, but damn, its heavy on those of us left behind.

mark e, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:49 (ten years ago) link

how horrible, Mark. RIP, & I hope you too are able to find some peace in this.

Euler, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:50 (ten years ago) link

mark i'm so sorry for you and your family's loss, i hope you all get all the love and support you need

seapunk run. run punk run! (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:55 (ten years ago) link

Oh Mark, I'm so sorry to hear that. Wishing you all the strength in the world over the next few days and weeks.

btw didn't i braek ur heart (NickB), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:57 (ten years ago) link

That is horrible to hear, take care of yourself, man.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:58 (ten years ago) link

Also: fuck cancer.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 26 April 2012 14:06 (ten years ago) link

Oh my God. I am so so sorry to read this. I can't imagine how horrible the past year must have been for you. My best wishes go out to you and your family.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Thursday, 26 April 2012 14:10 (ten years ago) link

Damn.

My condolences.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 26 April 2012 14:27 (ten years ago) link

mark, I'm very sorry. words on a message board don't do it justice.

this just goes to prove that even in this day and age of techno miracles, in the majority of cases, the powers that be really dont have a grasp on this evil disease.

I switched oncologists recently, going to the big medical center named after one of the Rockefellers. My new guy is the teacher who taught my two old guys.

We went down the list, talking about the medications I had been given, what my diet could be, drawing a DNA helix on the paper of the examination chair and saying 45 minutes of exercise based on my age x 5 - 2 or something. That last one, "What does running up and down stairs have to do with cancer?" made him literally stroke his beard and say "We don't know. Everything I've told you is basically an educated guess at best."

Now, this guy is pretty educated, but every honest doctor would be the first to tell you that plugging tubes of poison into people's veins and blasting them with radiation is witchcraft at best.

pplains, Thursday, 26 April 2012 14:51 (ten years ago) link

Now, this guy is pretty educated, but every honest doctor would be the first to tell you that plugging tubes of poison into people's veins and blasting them with radiation is witchcraft at best.

i have an uncle who is a highly qualified doctor in canada - and he basically told me this back last year, so while we were getting the 'we will cure you' story from various folks here, i've been quietly preparing for this outcome due to the insider information from him.

still, doesn't make dealing with the fallout any easier ..

good luck with your battle pplains - you have my heartfelt wishes and hopes for a more successful outcome.

for us, the big reveal was the discovery of an evil lump weeks after the completion of premium grade chemo that she underwent as that confirmed just how aggressive the fucker was.

(uncle confirmed that she got the best that was available .. so no complaints on that score)

mark e, Thursday, 26 April 2012 15:08 (ten years ago) link

Heartfelt condolences, mark. I'm so sorry that things turned out this way.

that mustardless plate (Bill A), Thursday, 26 April 2012 19:03 (ten years ago) link

i'm so very sorry, mark.

estela, Thursday, 26 April 2012 19:13 (ten years ago) link

Found out yesterday that mother in-law likely has pancreatic cancer. She got sick the day after we left for vacation, but apparently her doctor's been all kind of amazing and has run 6 months worth of tests in 2 weeks. From what I understand they think it's still in early stages, and possibly slow-growing though I'm still trying to make sense of everything so I don't exactly know all the details.

the worst part is that her Mum died of cancer when she was quite young, and her brother died of pancreatic cancer a couple of years ago, so it's just like AAAAAGGGGH FUCK YOU CANCER SERIOUSLY

the gallows-humor lighter side is that because of a blocked bile duct she now has a major case of jaundice. She said over the phone that she was pretty green, but when she answered the door mr Veg and I were like, 'Whoa. you weren't kidding.' Wicked Witch of the West level neon green. It's really weird!

We visited with her yesterday - she's very scared, tired, etc, but still very much herself. I love her so much...it just fucks me up that she's dealing with all of this. Ugh!

bleh

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 April 2012 20:17 (ten years ago) link

AAAAAGGGGH FUCK YOU CANCER SERIOUSLY

seriously.

hope they caught the fucker in time peppermint.

mark e, Monday, 30 April 2012 20:30 (ten years ago) link

I know. I'd like to have her around for a lot longer :)

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 April 2012 20:38 (ten years ago) link

btw, my condolences to you, mark...a big DOUBLE FUCK YOU CANCER

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 April 2012 20:42 (ten years ago) link

cheers pepper.

borderline alcoholism + v. loud music helps.

a little.

mark e, Monday, 30 April 2012 20:48 (ten years ago) link

<3 <3 <3

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 April 2012 20:58 (ten years ago) link

my mother in law was diagnosed with terminal cancer on Friday. Somehow the fucking doctor she has been getting x-rays and cat scans from for the last five years completely missed the huge tumor crushing her heart. My wife had to take an emergency red-eye last night and fortunately made it home before her mom died. now they're waiting for more tests.

fuck you, incompetent doctors, fuck you cancer, etc.

sleeve, Monday, 30 April 2012 21:31 (ten years ago) link

Somehow the fucking doctor she has been getting x-rays and cat scans from for the last five years completely missed the huge tumor crushing her heart.

due to the time, i am assuming you are US based pepper, cos this scarily similar to our situation.

3 years of 'problems' that were ignored cos it would have cost a few quid to send bh for a CT scan ..

so, yes fuck you incomp. doctors and fuck you tory policy to make doctors even more important in the decision making process.

once bh was escalated to the next level of care then it has to be said, the care was absolutely fantastic, but the fact of the matter is that he problems were ignored by the the GPs for 3 years .. and the GPs defence : 'bh is too young to get stomach cancer'

ok, time for more wine ..

mark e, Monday, 30 April 2012 21:39 (ten years ago) link

hang in there, also check out the revive on the Steve Albini thread, very inspiring.

sleeve, Tuesday, 1 May 2012 00:36 (ten years ago) link

I was told just today that my aunt was in the final stages of her cancer, so I feel you. It's amazing how much money + resources gets pumped into research and how it's still such a crapshoot of who survives and who doesn't.

musicfanatic, Tuesday, 1 May 2012 00:47 (ten years ago) link

nice to hear from you, onimo! the good days are indeed the best

so sorry about yr loss, emil.y.

broccoli rabe thomas (the table is the table), Saturday, 2 July 2022 13:05 (one month ago) link

Here's to more good days than bad onimo, but wishing you strength for all the shitty ones.

And bigger than usual hugs to you emily, I'm sorry to hear that <3

o shit the sheriff (NickB), Saturday, 2 July 2022 13:34 (one month ago) link

very sorry to hear about your loss, emil.y.

great to hear from you as always onimo and wishing you the best.

Doop Snogg (Neanderthal), Saturday, 2 July 2022 14:21 (one month ago) link

Sorry to hear about your friend, Emily, take care.

ailsa, Saturday, 2 July 2022 17:41 (one month ago) link

Good to hear from you Onimo.

Sorry for your loss, Emily.

xyzzzz__, Saturday, 2 July 2022 17:43 (one month ago) link

We were at the hospital today and the latest scan shows my brain tumour is stable and there has been no growth for 6+ months, which is great news. it.

Change display name in my last (onimo), Monday, 11 July 2022 15:04 (one month ago) link

Indeed, so wonderful! May it continue to be great news for sure.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 11 July 2022 15:05 (one month ago) link

glad to hear onimo!

Very happy to hear the good news, onimo. Be well.

Am I doomposting? I would say you’re not doomposting enough. (PBKR), Monday, 11 July 2022 15:13 (one month ago) link

Excellent news, onimo! Hope it continues, or as Ned said :-)

broccoli rabe thomas (the table is the table), Monday, 11 July 2022 15:47 (one month ago) link

so delighted to read this!

mark s, Monday, 11 July 2022 16:10 (one month ago) link

Great news!

DJI, Monday, 11 July 2022 16:18 (one month ago) link

Fantastic news, onimo! Hope the news continues to be good and the good days get more and more plentiful. Wishing you all the best.

(Sorry for your loss, emil.y)

a passing spacecadet, Monday, 11 July 2022 22:25 (one month ago) link

This is great news! Keep on truckin' onimo!

o shit the sheriff (NickB), Tuesday, 12 July 2022 06:12 (one month ago) link

so good, onimo. I hope your strength continues for what must be a hard-fought recovery - and that your remission lasts forever.

assert (matttkkkk), Tuesday, 12 July 2022 06:30 (one month ago) link

Well, it has been a good 30something years with these breasts. Seriously, I was blessed with a really great rack. ILXors I have met IRL can vouch for this (in the “in clothes” sense, of course—get your minds out of the gutter!).

Bilateral mastectomy on Monday. Thanks, cancer!

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 16 July 2022 04:07 (one month ago) link

bye quincies boobs :(
fuck u cancer u jerk

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 16 July 2022 04:33 (one month ago) link

shit, well I hope it's a complete success

assert (matttkkkk), Saturday, 16 July 2022 06:12 (one month ago) link

quincie good luck and if you accept hugs from strangers on the internet, big hugs from me

o shit the sheriff (NickB), Saturday, 16 July 2022 06:15 (one month ago) link

Good luck, quincie. Hope everything goes well.

doomposting is the new composting (PBKR), Saturday, 16 July 2022 11:27 (one month ago) link

big hugs to you, quincie

broccoli rabe thomas (the table is the table), Saturday, 16 July 2022 11:33 (one month ago) link

Damn, Quincie. Hope everything works out for the best!

put a VONC on it (suzy), Saturday, 16 July 2022 11:39 (one month ago) link

quincie good luck

Change display name in my last (onimo), Saturday, 16 July 2022 14:28 (one month ago) link

Best wishes quincie

Sorry quincie, i hope so deeply that it takes all cancer away.

Warning: Choking Hazard (Hunt3r), Saturday, 16 July 2022 20:18 (one month ago) link

Good luck, quincie - best wishes for a successful operation and a swift recovery

a passing spacecadet, Saturday, 16 July 2022 20:23 (one month ago) link

Good luck, quincie.

xyzzzz__, Saturday, 16 July 2022 21:07 (one month ago) link

Good luck.

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Saturday, 16 July 2022 21:09 (one month ago) link

Aw shit, quincie. fFuck cancer that fucking fuck

Jaq, Saturday, 16 July 2022 21:48 (one month ago) link

Good luck, but sorry you’re having to deal with this.

DJI, Sunday, 17 July 2022 01:28 (one month ago) link

quincie, when you can, let us know how yr doing!

I had what amounts to my three-year blood draws today, and still NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE :-)

The doctor was also surprised by how fit I was.

Some bright in the dark, there.

broccoli rabe thomas (the table is the table), Friday, 22 July 2022 16:12 (four weeks ago) link

Excellent news, table.

DJI, Friday, 22 July 2022 16:29 (four weeks ago) link

that's good to hear, table!

quincie, best of luck in your recovery <3

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Friday, 22 July 2022 17:00 (four weeks ago) link

Thank you! I am 4 days post-double mastectomy and doing well. I’m honestly experiencing significantly less discomfort than with my laparoscopic knee surgeries! And best of all I found out that my lymph node biopsies were all clear!!!! This is extremely good news and may even mean that I get to dodge radiation and/or chemo.

I wasn’t interested in implants, so I am sporting a very artfully executed “aesthetic flat closure.” It’s an odd feeling, but not a bad one, after carrying around DDs for a long time.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 22 July 2022 17:22 (four weeks ago) link

Tabes big congrats on NED. Such a good feeling.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 22 July 2022 17:24 (four weeks ago) link

that's wonderful news on the lymph node biopsies!!

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Friday, 22 July 2022 17:40 (four weeks ago) link

Glad to hear good news quincie and tabes.

doomposting is the new composting (PBKR), Friday, 22 July 2022 17:43 (four weeks ago) link

loving these updates for both of you A great news quincie & tabes!! <3

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 22 July 2022 19:25 (four weeks ago) link

great news, both, very happy to learn it!

Warning: Choking Hazard (Hunt3r), Friday, 22 July 2022 22:12 (four weeks ago) link

Big love to quince + tabes <3<3<3

o shit the sheriff (NickB), Friday, 22 July 2022 23:21 (four weeks ago) link

Amem!

dow, Friday, 22 July 2022 23:53 (four weeks ago) link

Not a deliberate typo, sorry. <3<3<3 indeed!!!

dow, Friday, 22 July 2022 23:55 (four weeks ago) link

Great to hear, quincie! may your recovery continue to go smoothly <3

broccoli rabe thomas (the table is the table), Saturday, 23 July 2022 15:37 (three weeks ago) link

Wonderful news to all who are free of this!

xyzzzz__, Saturday, 23 July 2022 15:42 (three weeks ago) link

All cheers, no jeers! Happy for you both. I wish you peace and belonging in your new and changing bodies/meat suits.

Ima Gardener (in orbit), Saturday, 23 July 2022 15:53 (three weeks ago) link

what they don't tell you top of cancer

every single problem keeps going in top of it

Change display name in my last (onimo), Monday, 1 August 2022 21:08 (two weeks ago) link

That was my experience, too. I have a longer thing to write but will wait until I’m not in rural Maine to do so.

broccoli rabe thomas (the table is the table), Friday, 5 August 2022 20:28 (two weeks ago) link

Rural Maine Summer, alright! Hope you're enjoying it, tables.

dow, Friday, 5 August 2022 20:31 (two weeks ago) link

Tabes big congrats on NED.

Indeed uh wait I may be mistaken. Belated best to you and quincie for sure!

Ned Raggett, Friday, 5 August 2022 22:20 (two weeks ago) link

Lol.

The trip in Maine was lovely, of course, but also weighed down with a load of awful circumstances. Like last year, we were going up to help my oldest friend and her partner fix up this small house overlooking the water. It's a dreamy spot next to a very swimmable cove, etc.

Issue was that her parents were nearby this year, and her mom had just been diagnosed with kidney cancer...meanwhile, her dad is slowly slipping away from himself due to dementia. Her mom is a fierce and intelligent woman who now treats her gentle and oft-confused husband like shit, particularly now that he keeps forgetting why she's upset or what her diagnosis is, etc. It's an awful situation, and while her mom was off for medical exams in Boston for most of the week, we hung around with her dad a lot— he's lovely and kind and very funny, and really thrives on human interaction. I am scared that he will slip further away when my friend goes back to her life in LA, and so she is now considering staying there. It's all so complicated and shitty.

What this has to do with what onimo wrote: cancer really does become one's life, and everything else comes on top of dealing with it, even if one is NED or hasn't had symptoms for years. The above situation is a perfect example: I understand my friend's mom's frustration, but also know that she should be treating her husband better than she is, and that some of what is happening is happening simply because she knows that she can't count on him to be totally understanding of the support she needs.

broccoli rabe thomas (the table is the table), Tuesday, 9 August 2022 15:05 (one week ago) link


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