fuck cancer

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ok, here goes.
after a long long day i have had a few glasses of red wine, so please bear with me.
on april 6th 2011 my wife was told "in error" that she had stomach cancer.
[long story - but this should have happened in my presence at some later pre-arranged time, but the fact was dropped while i was on childcare duties 30 miles away .. ]
given that my wife had previously been to see her GP for 2 years re ongoing stomach issues this came as no real surprise, but still, 2 years is quite a long time to have such concerns.
[turned out to be a stomach ulcer that had been left untreated .. resulting in the cancerous growth, but still the advise is that it has not spread beyond the stomach]
so after a 3 month stretch of radical chemo, to isolate and focus the growth, the surgeon today removed my wifes stomach, meaning that today is the beginning of a whole new life for us all.
so, the question is : are there ILX'r who have been through this process, as i have no idea as to what happens next !
how will she be able to digest food etc ?
and far more importantly, will red wine be no longer suitable as a method for her to deal with the daily demands of modern life ?
oh, and in the spirit of the original thread (i hate cancer) : fuck cancer.

mark e, Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:25 (eight years ago) link

as far as i could tell (i looked - honest !) , ile needed a proper 'fuck cancer' thread.

mark e, Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:26 (eight years ago) link

=( Best of luck to both of you

Elderflower Gimcrax Flores (admrl), Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:26 (eight years ago) link

Oh fuck, I'm so very sorry to hear that. btw there is a 'curse cancer' thread but fuck anyone who holds this thread against you.

ceci n'est pas une witty dn (Schlafsack), Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:27 (eight years ago) link

mark e, I am so sorry you and your wife are facing this. I know a few people who have had some or all of their stomach removed, for various reasons - each has certain foods that aren't processed well and so those are avoided, but digestion starts with chewing and nutrients are absorbed in the small intestine. One friend takes an additional enzyme with each meal, but the others eat smaller meals more frequently. They all are able to still enjoy alcohol, though I'm sure that can vary. See if you can find a support group locally or on-line that can help with the questions/concerns you will both be confronting. I wish your wife a rapid return to health and strength.

Jaq, Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:52 (eight years ago) link

while i understand and appreciate the concerns, can i just state the following : today is a great great] day.
the surgery went well, my wife is ok (as far as i know), and that is a massive, repeat massive thrill-buzz.
oh, and while red wine is not the answer to most of our daily stresses it can form part of our occasional parental release ..
(i would prefer a very loud listen-n-dance session to kylie, but hey, cant have everythintg ! )

mark e, Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:59 (eight years ago) link

others eat smaller meals more frequently. They all are able to still enjoy alcohol, though I'm sure that can vary.

have heard this from others.
only time will tell.


mark e, Thursday, 11 August 2011 00:28 (eight years ago) link

Fuck cancer indeed, so many of my relatives are dead from or are have contracted some form of cancer.

Super Villains With Drum Machines (MintIce), Thursday, 11 August 2011 13:39 (eight years ago) link

My paternal grandmother had her stomach removed for the same reason back in the 1960s. Although her meal size was reduced, she still very much enjoyed food and drink; one of the first things she taught my brother and me when we used to go and visit as wee lads was how to make a "proper" gin and tonic for her. She lived until she was 90.

I really hope your wife can continue to enjoy life in a similar spirit, and that she's making a fast and full recovery from the op.

that mustardless plate (Bill A), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 12:01 (eight years ago) link

cheers bill.
cant believe that its only 7 days since surgery given that yesterday she was looking so good, and up and walking (aka "thank f*ck for the nhs").
and yes, the advise seems to be that she can eat-n-drink whatever.
there may be some food types that may cause issue, but hopefully, the main impact will be that meal times will be a lot more relaxed as opposed to gobble-and-go.

mark e, Wednesday, 17 August 2011 12:06 (eight years ago) link

I guess it must not be too major to have your stomach removed since lots of people get their stomach removed who have a gastric bypass. I mean not too major compared to having your pancreas removed or your colon and getting an ostomy or something. I hope it goes well, I'm sure you will adapt in time and you will be just fine. SOrry to hear it

I love obscure members of the Athrotheiria mammal genus and... (Latham Green), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 13:34 (eight years ago) link

four months pass...

My grandfather is in the last stage of leukemia. I am trying to keep in mind he had a long and healthy life so far. But given that his life wasn't too great, it's difficult...

nathom, Friday, 13 January 2012 13:51 (seven years ago) link

two months pass...

exactly one year on and shit gets raised to a new level of emotional chaos.

we weren't even able to get away for 7 days for some well deserved family time without a mad midnight 250 mile dash to a&e.

oh, and all the positivity and hope i displayed earlier in this thread proved to be fucking worthless.

outcome post chemo/surgery : stage 4. terminal. no more treatment.

we currently live in waiting rooms dreading the test results.

fuck cancer.

mark e, Friday, 6 April 2012 20:47 (seven years ago) link

i'm really sorry, mark. my best wishes and support to you and your loved ones. and fuck cancer.

dayo, Friday, 6 April 2012 21:13 (seven years ago) link

mark, I'm so sorry. fuck cancer.

that mustardless plate (Bill A), Friday, 6 April 2012 22:29 (seven years ago) link

I am at a loss for words. I... I wish I could take some of the pain away. Fuck FUCK FUCK cancer. I am so so sorry.

Nathalie (stevienixed), Saturday, 7 April 2012 13:51 (seven years ago) link

How terrible. I wish you love. Fuck cancer.

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 7 April 2012 14:07 (seven years ago) link

Mark, I'm really, really sorry. My best wishes to you and your family.

God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Saturday, 7 April 2012 14:17 (seven years ago) link

Echoing the above. Utterly terrible news.

Ned Raggett, Saturday, 7 April 2012 14:18 (seven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

emsley clan : -1

cancer scoreboard : +1

fuck cancer.

mark e, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:27 (seven years ago) link

Mark, I'm so sorry; my condolences to you and your family.

I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:29 (seven years ago) link

oh Mark I am so sorry. sending you love and support in this time.

cosi fan whitford (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:31 (seven years ago) link

echoing the above. my sincere condolences to all of you

dayo, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:35 (seven years ago) link

A hug and kiss for you, Mark.

Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:37 (seven years ago) link

echoing the above. my sincere condolences to all of you

― dayo, Thursday, April 26, 2012 8:35 AM (1 minute ago)

^^^ So sorry, Mark. Fuck cancer.

improvised explosive advice (WmC), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:39 (seven years ago) link

Sending you love and the tiniest lightening of this burden. I'm so sorry.

how did I get here? why am I in the whiskey aisle? this is all so (Laurel), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:40 (seven years ago) link

i'm so sorry mark.

diafiyhm (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:42 (seven years ago) link

Horrible news, very sorry to hear this, good thoughts to you and family Mark.

ooooiiiioooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaoooooh un - bi - leevable! (LocalGarda), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:46 (seven years ago) link

ta for the wired tlc ..

this just goes to prove that even in this day and age of techno miracles, in the majority of cases, the powers that be really dont have a grasp on this evil disease.

we were told back in december that there was a good chance of 12 months of settled life.

to say the last 4 months have been a living hell of health related shyte would be an understatement.

we have no let up from the hospital/a&e chaos, so in some ways, i'm glad that she is now no longer suffering, but damn, its heavy on those of us left behind.

mark e, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:49 (seven years ago) link

how horrible, Mark. RIP, & I hope you too are able to find some peace in this.

Euler, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:50 (seven years ago) link

mark i'm so sorry for you and your family's loss, i hope you all get all the love and support you need

seapunk run. run punk run! (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:55 (seven years ago) link

Oh Mark, I'm so sorry to hear that. Wishing you all the strength in the world over the next few days and weeks.

btw didn't i braek ur heart (NickB), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:57 (seven years ago) link

That is horrible to hear, take care of yourself, man.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:58 (seven years ago) link

Also: fuck cancer.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 26 April 2012 14:06 (seven years ago) link

Oh my God. I am so so sorry to read this. I can't imagine how horrible the past year must have been for you. My best wishes go out to you and your family.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Thursday, 26 April 2012 14:10 (seven years ago) link


My condolences.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 26 April 2012 14:27 (seven years ago) link

mark, I'm very sorry. words on a message board don't do it justice.

this just goes to prove that even in this day and age of techno miracles, in the majority of cases, the powers that be really dont have a grasp on this evil disease.

I switched oncologists recently, going to the big medical center named after one of the Rockefellers. My new guy is the teacher who taught my two old guys.

We went down the list, talking about the medications I had been given, what my diet could be, drawing a DNA helix on the paper of the examination chair and saying 45 minutes of exercise based on my age x 5 - 2 or something. That last one, "What does running up and down stairs have to do with cancer?" made him literally stroke his beard and say "We don't know. Everything I've told you is basically an educated guess at best."

Now, this guy is pretty educated, but every honest doctor would be the first to tell you that plugging tubes of poison into people's veins and blasting them with radiation is witchcraft at best.

pplains, Thursday, 26 April 2012 14:51 (seven years ago) link

Now, this guy is pretty educated, but every honest doctor would be the first to tell you that plugging tubes of poison into people's veins and blasting them with radiation is witchcraft at best.

i have an uncle who is a highly qualified doctor in canada - and he basically told me this back last year, so while we were getting the 'we will cure you' story from various folks here, i've been quietly preparing for this outcome due to the insider information from him.

still, doesn't make dealing with the fallout any easier ..

good luck with your battle pplains - you have my heartfelt wishes and hopes for a more successful outcome.

for us, the big reveal was the discovery of an evil lump weeks after the completion of premium grade chemo that she underwent as that confirmed just how aggressive the fucker was.

(uncle confirmed that she got the best that was available .. so no complaints on that score)

mark e, Thursday, 26 April 2012 15:08 (seven years ago) link

Heartfelt condolences, mark. I'm so sorry that things turned out this way.

that mustardless plate (Bill A), Thursday, 26 April 2012 19:03 (seven years ago) link

i'm so very sorry, mark.

estela, Thursday, 26 April 2012 19:13 (seven years ago) link

Found out yesterday that mother in-law likely has pancreatic cancer. She got sick the day after we left for vacation, but apparently her doctor's been all kind of amazing and has run 6 months worth of tests in 2 weeks. From what I understand they think it's still in early stages, and possibly slow-growing though I'm still trying to make sense of everything so I don't exactly know all the details.

the worst part is that her Mum died of cancer when she was quite young, and her brother died of pancreatic cancer a couple of years ago, so it's just like AAAAAGGGGH FUCK YOU CANCER SERIOUSLY

the gallows-humor lighter side is that because of a blocked bile duct she now has a major case of jaundice. She said over the phone that she was pretty green, but when she answered the door mr Veg and I were like, 'Whoa. you weren't kidding.' Wicked Witch of the West level neon green. It's really weird!

We visited with her yesterday - she's very scared, tired, etc, but still very much herself. I love her so much...it just fucks me up that she's dealing with all of this. Ugh!


Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 April 2012 20:17 (seven years ago) link



hope they caught the fucker in time peppermint.

mark e, Monday, 30 April 2012 20:30 (seven years ago) link

I know. I'd like to have her around for a lot longer :)

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 April 2012 20:38 (seven years ago) link

btw, my condolences to you, mark...a big DOUBLE FUCK YOU CANCER

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 April 2012 20:42 (seven years ago) link

cheers pepper.

borderline alcoholism + v. loud music helps.

a little.

mark e, Monday, 30 April 2012 20:48 (seven years ago) link

<3 <3 <3

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 April 2012 20:58 (seven years ago) link

my mother in law was diagnosed with terminal cancer on Friday. Somehow the fucking doctor she has been getting x-rays and cat scans from for the last five years completely missed the huge tumor crushing her heart. My wife had to take an emergency red-eye last night and fortunately made it home before her mom died. now they're waiting for more tests.

fuck you, incompetent doctors, fuck you cancer, etc.

sleeve, Monday, 30 April 2012 21:31 (seven years ago) link

Somehow the fucking doctor she has been getting x-rays and cat scans from for the last five years completely missed the huge tumor crushing her heart.

due to the time, i am assuming you are US based pepper, cos this scarily similar to our situation.

3 years of 'problems' that were ignored cos it would have cost a few quid to send bh for a CT scan ..

so, yes fuck you incomp. doctors and fuck you tory policy to make doctors even more important in the decision making process.

once bh was escalated to the next level of care then it has to be said, the care was absolutely fantastic, but the fact of the matter is that he problems were ignored by the the GPs for 3 years .. and the GPs defence : 'bh is too young to get stomach cancer'

ok, time for more wine ..

mark e, Monday, 30 April 2012 21:39 (seven years ago) link

hang in there, also check out the revive on the Steve Albini thread, very inspiring.

sleeve, Tuesday, 1 May 2012 00:36 (seven years ago) link

I was told just today that my aunt was in the final stages of her cancer, so I feel you. It's amazing how much money + resources gets pumped into research and how it's still such a crapshoot of who survives and who doesn't.

musicfanatic, Tuesday, 1 May 2012 00:47 (seven years ago) link

maybe some form of system encouraging skilled medical practitioners from Europe to move to the UK would help

quelle sprocket damage (sic), Saturday, 13 July 2019 22:58 (three months ago) link

CP, i'm so sorry this is happening to you and especially yr wife. just awful.

blue light or electric light (the table is the table), Monday, 15 July 2019 23:25 (three months ago) link

Got my date for surgery today.

They're going to take out my whole rectum, sew me up, and I'll have a permanent colostomy. The tumor has shrunk, and I feel great (I ate tacos at South Philly Barbacoa (the one from Chef's Table, yes) and then went to the gym for an hour and a half after the appointment today, ffs), but it's kind of sinking in how much shit is going to change beyond just feeling like garbage because of treatments.

Gonna get TMI for a sec, but as many of you know, I'm gay...and not being able to have anal penetrative sex again again is really getting me down. I've had a good run of dicks in my ass, but it's still an enormous bummer, and I'm not sure how my husband and I are going to deal with it.

blue light or electric light (the table is the table), Monday, 15 July 2019 23:31 (three months ago) link

That’s unimaginable.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 16 July 2019 00:03 (three months ago) link

I mean everything on this thread is to me, frankly, I don’t know why that struck me as more uff da than anything else.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 16 July 2019 00:05 (three months ago) link

<3 you table

Dan S, Tuesday, 16 July 2019 00:14 (three months ago) link

thanks y'all.

it's pretty...yeah, hard to think about. but so is dying, which i'm not quite ready for, so i'm taking what i can get.

blue light or electric light (the table is the table), Tuesday, 16 July 2019 02:30 (three months ago) link

I'm not really sure if people just think I'm a dick or if they just don't know what to say. I spent about 15 minutes ranting about how literally everybody is failing us to my therapist yesterday and he just said I suppose that must be difficult to deal with. This week my wife's oncologist "forgot" to put her anti-nausea meds on her chart so when she got an injection that causes nausea the chemo nurse refused to give her anti-nausea medication. If she had a non-jobsworth cunt nurse they would just give it to her anyway, but this nurse just said sorry not on the chart fuck you. Her palliative care nurse is back from sick leave. Tbf she had a reason to be off sick, some fucking scumbag set fire to the hospice 4 years ago and she had PTSD from it. The cunt died before he could be charged but killed 3 people on his way out. So that's good I suppose. She had a scan yesterday which will determine if she continues chemo or just stops treatment and we see what happens

Try not to get ill, nobody will help you

Colonel Poo, Thursday, 18 July 2019 18:46 (three months ago) link

in terms of in the thread at least (imo), its so genuinely hard to know how to respond that wouldnt seem so totally inadequate CP

thats no excuse not to acknowledge the horrific situation you're in and what a shambles it all seems and how nightmarish it has to be for you

im so sorry youve to deal with this, any of this, all of this, and i hope that the venting helps even an iota, you deserve any outlet and relief you can get

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Thursday, 18 July 2019 22:26 (three months ago) link

^^^This is very well said. No one does or at least should begrudge you feeling the way you do. I would likely feel the same way. I wish you and your wife any momentary relief you can get.

Mazzy Tsar (PBKR), Thursday, 18 July 2019 23:47 (three months ago) link

CP, been thinking of you and yr wife.

blue light or electric light (the table is the table), Friday, 19 July 2019 00:50 (three months ago) link

Indeed so. And you as well, table. What a collective misery.

Ned Raggett, Friday, 19 July 2019 01:06 (three months ago) link

yeah, it's pretty awful!

i'm looking at the bright side, which is that now i get to get another cheeky tattoo: "Rectum? I nearly killed him!"

blue light or electric light (the table is the table), Friday, 19 July 2019 01:53 (three months ago) link

(one friend i said this to was like, "that's horrible!" and i couldn't really make them understand that the joy of a dumb but true joke like that is what keeps me going )

blue light or electric light (the table is the table), Friday, 19 July 2019 01:55 (three months ago) link

Thinking of you, table.

Montgomery Burns' Jazz (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Friday, 19 July 2019 02:01 (three months ago) link

sorry, and thanks everyone

table, what's happening to you is also horrible and I do feel for you, and everyone else going through this

Colonel Poo, Friday, 19 July 2019 06:17 (three months ago) link

Good thoughts to you and your wife CP, the amount of shit you have to endure is staggering.

Table, please be well <3

Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 19 July 2019 07:27 (three months ago) link

<3 CP and table.

pomenitul, Friday, 19 July 2019 07:32 (three months ago) link

Yeah both of you <3

jou're much too jung, girl (Noodle Vague), Friday, 19 July 2019 09:00 (three months ago) link

Same here.

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 19 July 2019 10:48 (three months ago) link

<3 to cp and your wife, and also to table (i completely appreciate the joy of the joke)

cancer is such an asshole

estela, Saturday, 20 July 2019 02:36 (three months ago) link

Indeed it is.

xyzzzz__, Saturday, 20 July 2019 07:32 (three months ago) link

Damn, Nick. Brutal. But also I'm so so glad things are - at the moment - ok. ish.
Arrival's on telly on Tuesday, btw.
How's Em - going back to work is a big deal.?

kinder, Saturday, 20 July 2019 22:36 (three months ago) link

Nick that was so powerful and hits on so many feelings I'm also experiencing - suicidal urges, anger at religious sentiments. our situations are quite different but so much is the same. I am OK, mostly, too, it might not seem like it on here sometimes and on those occasions I'm not OK, I am trying though.

Colonel Poo, Sunday, 21 July 2019 00:07 (three months ago) link

love to the Colonel and table

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Sunday, 21 July 2019 00:11 (three months ago) link

so we got the scan results today, and they were bad. been kind of expecting it because they are always bad, but you always hope something might work. further progression in the liver, this chemo not working either.

we had some good news, or at least not totally awful news, though. the previous useless wanker of an oncologist told us that was it, if that chemo didn't work then it was spending hours in a chemo ward on a daily basis or nothing. but the new oncologist (I hadn't met him before, my wife saw him once a few weeks ago before the scan) seems OK and he says there is another tablet chemo we can try, although if that doesn't work, then it really is IV chemo or nothing. my wife is pretty sure she won't do the IV chemo because she'd have no quality of life. she'd be in a hospital ward for hours per day and feel like shit all the time. life expectancy if she comes off chemo is 6-12 months.

Colonel Poo, Friday, 26 July 2019 14:16 (two months ago) link

Ah man, that's rough - I'm glad there's some good news though.

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 26 July 2019 14:19 (two months ago) link

sorry about the bad news, CP - though glad there may be another option to explore. best wishes to you both

also best wishes to table, that's brutal - as Tombot put it, unimaginable. it's good to see you back, sorry it's in these circumstances

a passing spacecadet, Friday, 26 July 2019 15:13 (two months ago) link

jfc scik mouthy, that really opened up the waterworks over here.

it gets at what has been bothering me the most recently: that so much of what i do is colored, if not defined, by this thing that i have little control over and didn't ask for, obviously.

love to you and yr family, and also to you and yr wife, CP. <3

blue light or electric light (the table is the table), Friday, 26 July 2019 15:46 (two months ago) link

so sorry CP
and to you, table x

kinder, Friday, 26 July 2019 19:53 (two months ago) link

hoping for the best for ye cp

phil neville jacket (darraghmac), Friday, 26 July 2019 21:44 (two months ago) link

I just tried to apply for a "Carer's Discount" card, because I've started going swimming as some kind of vague attempt at looking after myself, and the nearest swimming pool has a discount for "carers", and these are the options for "Relationship to Carer":


am I missing something here? or is "spouse" not valid for this or something. don't get me wrong, cancer sucks whoever you are, but like what the shit?

Colonel Poo, Saturday, 27 July 2019 00:25 (two months ago) link

today's fun thing was that after we had the meeting with the oncologist, my wife checked the status of her repeat prescriptions, and they all came up as "Rejected". which we haven't had for a while, because as per instructions from her GP, my wife has been writing pleading notes with her prescription requests, begging them not to refuse them, because this is where we are now, you have to beg for your medicine to get it. this is all absolutely fine and just practising medicine as they normally do.

I rang up basically ready to shout at anybody that had the bad luck to answer the phone, and it's all fine because the prescription app shows "Rejected" when the actual status is "Waiting For Authorisation". I mean you have to take the good with the bad, sometimes the complete failure of the NHS to be any kind of remotely functioning system at all works in your favour! it's all fine, it's just not been authorised yet. with any luck, it'll be authorised within the next 70 years

Colonel Poo, Saturday, 27 July 2019 00:46 (two months ago) link

just found out an old friend has terminal cancer. feel like a jerk for not keeping in touch. she has a young family too.

kinder, Saturday, 27 July 2019 14:47 (two months ago) link

sorry about yr friend, kinder.

and jesus, CP, yr making the horrors of our system in the US seem like child's play.

blue light or electric light (the table is the table), Saturday, 27 July 2019 16:41 (two months ago) link

Fuck Colonel, that's horrible, even if there is a potential bit of hope via the other oral chemo. I don't know what NHS trust you're under but it sounds terrible. Makes me think we've been very lucky with ours. Love to you and your wife.

Table: love to you and your husband.

Kinder: Em's understandably struggling. Been off work for 18 months now, no confidence or interest in going back to work, but I think she'll benefit from it once she's in it. She's kind of accepted that she needs some counselling now, and could manage it logistically, but is having real difficulty finding one; the crappy over-the-phone assessment by our work-counselling scheme determined that she didn't need counselling (wtf?!), and two other people she's approaching privately simply haven't got back, which strikes me as bad practice for any fucking business soliciting trade, but morally well out of line if your business is counselling people.

Wrote another thing: https://sickmouthy.wordpress.com/2019/07/29/who-are-we-if-were-not-that-cancer-family/

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 29 July 2019 10:04 (two months ago) link

For me, returning to work now would need some sort of total immersion, re-absorbing it all again without being required to actually do anything for a couple of weeks - and not having to switch to badgered-parent-mode for the rest of the time. At least that's what I found difficult before. The counselling thing sounds rubbish! Hope she has more success.

kinder, Wednesday, 31 July 2019 18:50 (two months ago) link

two weeks pass...

my wife started going downhill 2 weeks ago, we called 111 and our GP, who were both absolutely fucking useless, as per fucking usual. The GP didn't even call back until I called again the next day. the hospice nurses did come out and gave her injections but she wasn't getting better so she was admitted to hospice for 2 weeks for tests. it turned out to be swelling in her liver, but it's not currently life threatening, but was making her sick. they gave her steroids which seem to have helped but now she is back home, and needed to get anti-nausea medicine refilled, and now she's not in hospice care, that means going through the fucking GP.

I called this morning because although she's been prescribed this medication before, it wasn't on the list for repeat prescriptions. we've had this issue before and the GP receptionist just put it on the list and she was able to order it. this time they said they couldn't do that, but my wife could write in the medication on the online prescription request and they would do it. but she tried to do that and there wasn't anywhere she could see to do it. so I called back this afternoon and after 20 minutes on hold was told that actually they were wrong this morning and you can't do that. and they have no record of her ever taking this medication before so they would not be able to fill the prescription, even if the GP did a phone consultation. I contested this because she definitely has had this medication before, and she then checked again and found a letter from the hospice from a few weeks ago and that was enough.

why do we have to go through this shit all the fucking time? they can't even give correct information out, the incompetent fucking cunts. all the fucking time we have to deal with these absolute scumbags. everytime we hear "oh you have to go through your GP for that" our hearts just sink. probably doesn't help that my wife's assigned GP is on holiday for the entire month of August. please tell me more about our poor overworked GPs. the fucking dregs of the healthcare profession

Colonel Poo, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 13:55 (two months ago) link

seems unbelievably & relentlessly shit, I can't imagine how it feels to keep running up against such total dysfunction & indifference in these circumstances. all the best to you two, you deserve so much better.

ogmor, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 14:55 (two months ago) link

I'm really sorry to hear that, hope that things turn around a bit for you.

Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 20 August 2019 21:45 (two months ago) link

So I'm kind of grossed out by this, but Casper's in The Sun today. Or, at least, on their website.


Also the Daily Mail, and Metro.co.uk too.

We offered to be a case study for the life insurance company, and they do all their marketing via press. We thought about it, and figured if it raised awareness of the disease that was a good thing, so we said yes. Em did a phoner last week, we sent the press company photos, and now he's a human interest story.

The Daily Mail website managed to mangle all sorts of basic facts (like his fucking age and name) that everyone else got right.

Yeah, not sure how I feel about this. We've got no money out of it. Dunno if the company will sell more critical illness for kids cover. But if it helps someone, somewhere, that's a plus, right?

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 2 September 2019 14:12 (one month ago) link

the Sunday Times did an article about end-of-life doulas and featured my wife in it and got her name wrong, it's par for the course with these scumbags tbh.

just got back from the GP. had to hand-deliver a letter to request they move my wife's anti-nausea medication from the acute list to the repeat list because they won't do it over the phone, or rather they might, but it depends on how much of a jobsworth cunt the receptionist who answers the phone is. they used to accept prescription requests via email but no longer do for some fucking reason. why are they going backwards? only written letters are acceptable, in 2019. we'll see if they actually fix it this time or if we have to go through this rigmarole next time she runs out

Colonel Poo, Monday, 2 September 2019 14:25 (one month ago) link

Written letters? wtf.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Monday, 2 September 2019 14:39 (one month ago) link

more complete shit from the completely broken NHS:

- my wife had stopped taking the previous chemo because it wasn't working, then went into the hospice, but was supposed to start taking a different chemo when she got out. for unexplained reasons this was delayed, something to do with the oncologist referral not going through. but even when it did go through, they couldn't fit her in at the chemo ward for another 3 weeks, so she would be off chemo for 6 weeks
- so my wife emailed her Macmillan nurse to complain about the delay when it is urgent that she gets back on chemo. she gets an out of office, nurse is on holiday. fair enough people go on holiday. so she emails the other nurse. she is also on holiday. how the fuck are they letting both cancer nurses go on holiday at the same time? I can't even do that at my job. when the nurse gets back from holiday she managed to persuade the chemo ward to fit my wife in a week earlier, so that's something I guess
- a community nurse calls and makes an appointment to visit last Friday. she doesn't turn up. no phone call, nothing. we don't have a number for the community nurses because they don't like giving them out
- today at the chemo ward a nurse realises the pharmacy didn't put the chemo in the fridge, so they have to go back to the pharmacy and get another batch. lucky she noticed eh?

these are the people we have to trust our lives with. just relentless incompetence over and over and over and over

Colonel Poo, Thursday, 12 September 2019 14:37 (one month ago) link

two weeks pass...

hello all. CP, i'm so sorry you and your wife are suffering so. totally inhuman incompetence, it seems.

an update from me: surgery went well, though i've had two hospitalizations in the six weeks since due to issues with my small intestine, which tend to be the most usual complications following the specific type of surgery enacted upon me.

i went back to work after twelve days, which is as totally bananas as it sounds, but i'm only teaching two classes and they're both going pretty well. only had to cancel one session due to health stuff (knock on wood).

the big news: the pathology reports were negative from all the tissue and lymph and everything they took out of me. so at this point, i am cancer free.

it's my birthday on Friday— i turn 35— and we are going out to my favorite restaurant and i am going to eat a fancy expensive hamburger and drink too much.

thank you for all of your well-wishes and thoughts, they've meant a great deal.

i'll also be around here more now that i can sit down without experiencing massive amounts of pain. (long story).

blue light or electric light (the table is the table), Monday, 30 September 2019 21:41 (three weeks ago) link

thats great news table

all over bar the shouting (im here for the shouting) (darraghmac), Monday, 30 September 2019 22:23 (three weeks ago) link

a great update, ttitt. I hope the remainder of your recovery goes smoothly.

sending out good wishes to Mr. and Mrs. Poo as well.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Monday, 30 September 2019 22:35 (three weeks ago) link

tabes, happy to hear you are living well, dear fella!

Colonel, wishing the best for the missus and you.

These days my chief medical worries remain paying for care (or rather, everything else, as my family will pay for the care if I can't).

a Mets fan who gave up on everything in the mid '80s (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 1 October 2019 00:53 (three weeks ago) link

<3 tabes!!<3

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 1 October 2019 03:14 (three weeks ago) link

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