fuck cancer

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ok, here goes.
after a long long day i have had a few glasses of red wine, so please bear with me.
on april 6th 2011 my wife was told "in error" that she had stomach cancer.
[long story - but this should have happened in my presence at some later pre-arranged time, but the fact was dropped while i was on childcare duties 30 miles away .. ]
given that my wife had previously been to see her GP for 2 years re ongoing stomach issues this came as no real surprise, but still, 2 years is quite a long time to have such concerns.
[turned out to be a stomach ulcer that had been left untreated .. resulting in the cancerous growth, but still the advise is that it has not spread beyond the stomach]
so after a 3 month stretch of radical chemo, to isolate and focus the growth, the surgeon today removed my wifes stomach, meaning that today is the beginning of a whole new life for us all.
so, the question is : are there ILX'r who have been through this process, as i have no idea as to what happens next !
how will she be able to digest food etc ?
and far more importantly, will red wine be no longer suitable as a method for her to deal with the daily demands of modern life ?
oh, and in the spirit of the original thread (i hate cancer) : fuck cancer.

mark e, Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:25 (eight years ago) link

as far as i could tell (i looked - honest !) , ile needed a proper 'fuck cancer' thread.

mark e, Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:26 (eight years ago) link

=( Best of luck to both of you

Elderflower Gimcrax Flores (admrl), Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:26 (eight years ago) link

Oh fuck, I'm so very sorry to hear that. btw there is a 'curse cancer' thread but fuck anyone who holds this thread against you.

ceci n'est pas une witty dn (Schlafsack), Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:27 (eight years ago) link

mark e, I am so sorry you and your wife are facing this. I know a few people who have had some or all of their stomach removed, for various reasons - each has certain foods that aren't processed well and so those are avoided, but digestion starts with chewing and nutrients are absorbed in the small intestine. One friend takes an additional enzyme with each meal, but the others eat smaller meals more frequently. They all are able to still enjoy alcohol, though I'm sure that can vary. See if you can find a support group locally or on-line that can help with the questions/concerns you will both be confronting. I wish your wife a rapid return to health and strength.

Jaq, Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:52 (eight years ago) link

while i understand and appreciate the concerns, can i just state the following : today is a great great] day.
the surgery went well, my wife is ok (as far as i know), and that is a massive, repeat massive thrill-buzz.
oh, and while red wine is not the answer to most of our daily stresses it can form part of our occasional parental release ..
(i would prefer a very loud listen-n-dance session to kylie, but hey, cant have everythintg ! )

mark e, Wednesday, 10 August 2011 23:59 (eight years ago) link

others eat smaller meals more frequently. They all are able to still enjoy alcohol, though I'm sure that can vary.

have heard this from others.
only time will tell.

ta.

mark e, Thursday, 11 August 2011 00:28 (eight years ago) link

Fuck cancer indeed, so many of my relatives are dead from or are have contracted some form of cancer.

Super Villains With Drum Machines (MintIce), Thursday, 11 August 2011 13:39 (eight years ago) link

My paternal grandmother had her stomach removed for the same reason back in the 1960s. Although her meal size was reduced, she still very much enjoyed food and drink; one of the first things she taught my brother and me when we used to go and visit as wee lads was how to make a "proper" gin and tonic for her. She lived until she was 90.

I really hope your wife can continue to enjoy life in a similar spirit, and that she's making a fast and full recovery from the op.

that mustardless plate (Bill A), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 12:01 (eight years ago) link

cheers bill.
cant believe that its only 7 days since surgery given that yesterday she was looking so good, and up and walking (aka "thank f*ck for the nhs").
and yes, the advise seems to be that she can eat-n-drink whatever.
there may be some food types that may cause issue, but hopefully, the main impact will be that meal times will be a lot more relaxed as opposed to gobble-and-go.

mark e, Wednesday, 17 August 2011 12:06 (eight years ago) link

I guess it must not be too major to have your stomach removed since lots of people get their stomach removed who have a gastric bypass. I mean not too major compared to having your pancreas removed or your colon and getting an ostomy or something. I hope it goes well, I'm sure you will adapt in time and you will be just fine. SOrry to hear it

I love obscure members of the Athrotheiria mammal genus and... (Latham Green), Wednesday, 17 August 2011 13:34 (eight years ago) link

four months pass...

My grandfather is in the last stage of leukemia. I am trying to keep in mind he had a long and healthy life so far. But given that his life wasn't too great, it's difficult...

nathom, Friday, 13 January 2012 13:51 (eight years ago) link

two months pass...

exactly one year on and shit gets raised to a new level of emotional chaos.

we weren't even able to get away for 7 days for some well deserved family time without a mad midnight 250 mile dash to a&e.

oh, and all the positivity and hope i displayed earlier in this thread proved to be fucking worthless.

outcome post chemo/surgery : stage 4. terminal. no more treatment.

we currently live in waiting rooms dreading the test results.

fuck cancer.

mark e, Friday, 6 April 2012 20:47 (seven years ago) link

i'm really sorry, mark. my best wishes and support to you and your loved ones. and fuck cancer.

dayo, Friday, 6 April 2012 21:13 (seven years ago) link

mark, I'm so sorry. fuck cancer.

that mustardless plate (Bill A), Friday, 6 April 2012 22:29 (seven years ago) link

I am at a loss for words. I... I wish I could take some of the pain away. Fuck FUCK FUCK cancer. I am so so sorry.

Nathalie (stevienixed), Saturday, 7 April 2012 13:51 (seven years ago) link

How terrible. I wish you love. Fuck cancer.

World Congress of Itch (Dr Morbius), Saturday, 7 April 2012 14:07 (seven years ago) link

Mark, I'm really, really sorry. My best wishes to you and your family.

God, Music and Romeo and Juliet (DJP), Saturday, 7 April 2012 14:17 (seven years ago) link

Echoing the above. Utterly terrible news.

Ned Raggett, Saturday, 7 April 2012 14:18 (seven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

emsley clan : -1

cancer scoreboard : +1

fuck cancer.

mark e, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:27 (seven years ago) link

Mark, I'm so sorry; my condolences to you and your family.

I'M THAT POSTA, AAAAAAAAAH (DJP), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:29 (seven years ago) link

oh Mark I am so sorry. sending you love and support in this time.

cosi fan whitford (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:31 (seven years ago) link

echoing the above. my sincere condolences to all of you

dayo, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:35 (seven years ago) link

A hug and kiss for you, Mark.

Exile in lolville (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:37 (seven years ago) link

echoing the above. my sincere condolences to all of you

― dayo, Thursday, April 26, 2012 8:35 AM (1 minute ago)

^^^ So sorry, Mark. Fuck cancer.

improvised explosive advice (WmC), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:39 (seven years ago) link

Sending you love and the tiniest lightening of this burden. I'm so sorry.

how did I get here? why am I in the whiskey aisle? this is all so (Laurel), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:40 (seven years ago) link

i'm so sorry mark.

diafiyhm (darraghmac), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:42 (seven years ago) link

Horrible news, very sorry to hear this, good thoughts to you and family Mark.

ooooiiiioooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaoooooh un - bi - leevable! (LocalGarda), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:46 (seven years ago) link

ta for the wired tlc ..

this just goes to prove that even in this day and age of techno miracles, in the majority of cases, the powers that be really dont have a grasp on this evil disease.

we were told back in december that there was a good chance of 12 months of settled life.

to say the last 4 months have been a living hell of health related shyte would be an understatement.

we have no let up from the hospital/a&e chaos, so in some ways, i'm glad that she is now no longer suffering, but damn, its heavy on those of us left behind.

mark e, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:49 (seven years ago) link

how horrible, Mark. RIP, & I hope you too are able to find some peace in this.

Euler, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:50 (seven years ago) link

mark i'm so sorry for you and your family's loss, i hope you all get all the love and support you need

seapunk run. run punk run! (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:55 (seven years ago) link

Oh Mark, I'm so sorry to hear that. Wishing you all the strength in the world over the next few days and weeks.

btw didn't i braek ur heart (NickB), Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:57 (seven years ago) link

That is horrible to hear, take care of yourself, man.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 26 April 2012 13:58 (seven years ago) link

Also: fuck cancer.

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 26 April 2012 14:06 (seven years ago) link

Oh my God. I am so so sorry to read this. I can't imagine how horrible the past year must have been for you. My best wishes go out to you and your family.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Thursday, 26 April 2012 14:10 (seven years ago) link

Damn.

My condolences.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 26 April 2012 14:27 (seven years ago) link

mark, I'm very sorry. words on a message board don't do it justice.

this just goes to prove that even in this day and age of techno miracles, in the majority of cases, the powers that be really dont have a grasp on this evil disease.

I switched oncologists recently, going to the big medical center named after one of the Rockefellers. My new guy is the teacher who taught my two old guys.

We went down the list, talking about the medications I had been given, what my diet could be, drawing a DNA helix on the paper of the examination chair and saying 45 minutes of exercise based on my age x 5 - 2 or something. That last one, "What does running up and down stairs have to do with cancer?" made him literally stroke his beard and say "We don't know. Everything I've told you is basically an educated guess at best."

Now, this guy is pretty educated, but every honest doctor would be the first to tell you that plugging tubes of poison into people's veins and blasting them with radiation is witchcraft at best.

pplains, Thursday, 26 April 2012 14:51 (seven years ago) link

Now, this guy is pretty educated, but every honest doctor would be the first to tell you that plugging tubes of poison into people's veins and blasting them with radiation is witchcraft at best.

i have an uncle who is a highly qualified doctor in canada - and he basically told me this back last year, so while we were getting the 'we will cure you' story from various folks here, i've been quietly preparing for this outcome due to the insider information from him.

still, doesn't make dealing with the fallout any easier ..

good luck with your battle pplains - you have my heartfelt wishes and hopes for a more successful outcome.

for us, the big reveal was the discovery of an evil lump weeks after the completion of premium grade chemo that she underwent as that confirmed just how aggressive the fucker was.

(uncle confirmed that she got the best that was available .. so no complaints on that score)

mark e, Thursday, 26 April 2012 15:08 (seven years ago) link

Heartfelt condolences, mark. I'm so sorry that things turned out this way.

that mustardless plate (Bill A), Thursday, 26 April 2012 19:03 (seven years ago) link

i'm so very sorry, mark.

estela, Thursday, 26 April 2012 19:13 (seven years ago) link

Found out yesterday that mother in-law likely has pancreatic cancer. She got sick the day after we left for vacation, but apparently her doctor's been all kind of amazing and has run 6 months worth of tests in 2 weeks. From what I understand they think it's still in early stages, and possibly slow-growing though I'm still trying to make sense of everything so I don't exactly know all the details.

the worst part is that her Mum died of cancer when she was quite young, and her brother died of pancreatic cancer a couple of years ago, so it's just like AAAAAGGGGH FUCK YOU CANCER SERIOUSLY

the gallows-humor lighter side is that because of a blocked bile duct she now has a major case of jaundice. She said over the phone that she was pretty green, but when she answered the door mr Veg and I were like, 'Whoa. you weren't kidding.' Wicked Witch of the West level neon green. It's really weird!

We visited with her yesterday - she's very scared, tired, etc, but still very much herself. I love her so much...it just fucks me up that she's dealing with all of this. Ugh!

bleh

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 April 2012 20:17 (seven years ago) link

AAAAAGGGGH FUCK YOU CANCER SERIOUSLY

seriously.

hope they caught the fucker in time peppermint.

mark e, Monday, 30 April 2012 20:30 (seven years ago) link

I know. I'd like to have her around for a lot longer :)

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 April 2012 20:38 (seven years ago) link

btw, my condolences to you, mark...a big DOUBLE FUCK YOU CANCER

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 April 2012 20:42 (seven years ago) link

cheers pepper.

borderline alcoholism + v. loud music helps.

a little.

mark e, Monday, 30 April 2012 20:48 (seven years ago) link

<3 <3 <3

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 30 April 2012 20:58 (seven years ago) link

my mother in law was diagnosed with terminal cancer on Friday. Somehow the fucking doctor she has been getting x-rays and cat scans from for the last five years completely missed the huge tumor crushing her heart. My wife had to take an emergency red-eye last night and fortunately made it home before her mom died. now they're waiting for more tests.

fuck you, incompetent doctors, fuck you cancer, etc.

sleeve, Monday, 30 April 2012 21:31 (seven years ago) link

Somehow the fucking doctor she has been getting x-rays and cat scans from for the last five years completely missed the huge tumor crushing her heart.

due to the time, i am assuming you are US based pepper, cos this scarily similar to our situation.

3 years of 'problems' that were ignored cos it would have cost a few quid to send bh for a CT scan ..

so, yes fuck you incomp. doctors and fuck you tory policy to make doctors even more important in the decision making process.

once bh was escalated to the next level of care then it has to be said, the care was absolutely fantastic, but the fact of the matter is that he problems were ignored by the the GPs for 3 years .. and the GPs defence : 'bh is too young to get stomach cancer'

ok, time for more wine ..

mark e, Monday, 30 April 2012 21:39 (seven years ago) link

hang in there, also check out the revive on the Steve Albini thread, very inspiring.

sleeve, Tuesday, 1 May 2012 00:36 (seven years ago) link

I was told just today that my aunt was in the final stages of her cancer, so I feel you. It's amazing how much money + resources gets pumped into research and how it's still such a crapshoot of who survives and who doesn't.

musicfanatic, Tuesday, 1 May 2012 00:47 (seven years ago) link

Or what imago said.

El Tomboto, Thursday, 13 February 2020 15:44 (one week ago) link

cosigning all the love here CP

sleeve, Thursday, 13 February 2020 15:45 (one week ago) link

Best wishes to you and yours, CP. So sorry for your loss.

We're jumping on the road with @Nickelback this summer! (PBKR), Thursday, 13 February 2020 15:47 (one week ago) link

i’m so sorry CP<3

estela, Thursday, 13 February 2020 16:02 (one week ago) link

Sending all the love indeed. My deepest condolences.

Ned Raggett, Thursday, 13 February 2020 16:40 (one week ago) link

my heartfelt condolences, cp <3

obliquity of the ecliptic (rrrobyn), Thursday, 13 February 2020 19:52 (one week ago) link

Oh fuck. Condolences. Look after yourself.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 14 February 2020 10:33 (one week ago) link

Man I’m so sorry

wee jim o’conor (wins), Friday, 14 February 2020 13:06 (one week ago) link

<3 So sorry CP

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 16 February 2020 19:23 (one week ago) link

my heart goes out to you, CP

so the grief doesn't completely overwhelm me

grief is terrible & hard, but it's the tribute we pay to love.

A is for (Aimless), Sunday, 16 February 2020 19:32 (one week ago) link

I’ so sorry, CP

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Sunday, 16 February 2020 19:36 (one week ago) link

My condolences, CP.

But guess what? Nobody gives a toot!😂 (Karl Malone), Sunday, 16 February 2020 19:42 (one week ago) link

all the best to you again CP mate.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2009/nov/28/christian-brothers-ireland-child-abuse

My Uncle passed from prostate cancer on Thursday. He was a good guy and a campaigner/survivor for victims of Irish state/Catholic Church child abuse. The only person in my family to get a Graun centre page article in the Saturday edition! Having chats with him in my formative years probably did more to turn me into a commie than anything. London/Irish Tottenhem Hale ilx might have met him in the 80's/90's when he was maths supply teacher and also did private tuition in that area.

calzino, Sunday, 16 February 2020 19:46 (one week ago) link

My condolences, Calzino

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Sunday, 16 February 2020 19:50 (one week ago) link

Very sorry to hear it, Calzino.

xyzzzz__, Sunday, 16 February 2020 20:16 (one week ago) link

he's a legend for once posting a huge clump of weed to my mum wrapped up in a magazine. It had got intercepted en route and the result was an early morning drugs bust at my house when I was like 6 years old. Me and my brother were like: this is cooler than an episode of The Sweeney!

calzino, Sunday, 16 February 2020 20:33 (one week ago) link

My sincere condolences, calz.

romanesque architect (pomenitul), Sunday, 16 February 2020 20:42 (one week ago) link

rip calz

BSC Joan Baez (darraghmac), Sunday, 16 February 2020 21:57 (one week ago) link

sorry to hear that calz, he sounds like a great guy

Homegrown Georgia speedster Ladd McConkey (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 16 February 2020 21:59 (one week ago) link

Very sorry for your loss, Calz

Le Bateau Ivre, Sunday, 16 February 2020 22:09 (one week ago) link

Sorry to hear that, man.

Andrew Farrell, Sunday, 16 February 2020 22:25 (one week ago) link

Sorry for your loss, Calzino.

Oor Neechy, Sunday, 16 February 2020 22:34 (one week ago) link

Sorry for your loss :(

hyds (gyac), Sunday, 16 February 2020 23:34 (one week ago) link

My wife passed away on Sunday. I don't have much to say at the moment but I knew I would need to tell people at some point and I am trying to get things done, partly to keep myself busy I think so the grief doesn't completely overwhelm me.

My heart goes out to you, CP. Just take things slowly, allow yourself plenty of time to grieve, feel whatever emotions you want to feel and do whatever you want to do (save for the more drastic measures, of course), get plenty of rest, don't overwork yourself too much with the funeral arrangements, etc. Please reach out to me via private communications if you need a rock to lean on.

We Live as We Dee, Alone (deethelurker), Monday, 17 February 2020 14:40 (one week ago) link

Also, once again, fuck cancer.

We Live as We Dee, Alone (deethelurker), Monday, 17 February 2020 14:40 (one week ago) link

My beautiful, socially conscious, left-wing cousin who is an island of sanity in my life has just entered hospice care for the stage IV breast cancer first diagnosed two years ago. Right at the New Year the chest infection she was fighting turned into pneumonia and while battling that, the cancer that was already in her liver and bones got too serious to treat with chemotherapy. She is mother to two boys, who are 9 and nearly 5, and I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like for those kids.

Additionally, 20 years ago she fell out with my mum and sister for a long list of reasons including their criticism of her choice of husband. Honestly, I can’t blame her for doing that, because they say the kind of things well-adjusted people never would because once aired, they can’t be taken back. I am having to manage them being alternately upset and shitty about her - my mum in particular is testing my nerves.

As some of you will know, I am a survivor of a serious childhood cancer myself so losing Kelly to this shitty disease is a cruelty I can hardly bear. I love her so much and I can hardly think straight right now.

santa clause four (suzy), Friday, 21 February 2020 10:53 (four days ago) link

A lot of love and strength to you, Suzy!

Andrew Farrell, Friday, 21 February 2020 10:56 (four days ago) link

I'm so sorry, suzy. I can only hope that it's not too late.

romanesque architect (pomenitul), Friday, 21 February 2020 10:59 (four days ago) link

awful news, sorry to hear that Suzy.

calzino, Friday, 21 February 2020 11:00 (four days ago) link

I’m trying to get to Minnesota next week and hope I'm there on time. It would be very Kelly to check out on leap day to give her boys an unhappy anniversary that only comes up every four years.

santa clause four (suzy), Friday, 21 February 2020 11:02 (four days ago) link

I'm very sorry to hear that Suzy, love and strength <3

Le Bateau Ivre, Friday, 21 February 2020 11:02 (four days ago) link

Very sorry to hear this Suzy.

xyzzzz__, Friday, 21 February 2020 11:51 (four days ago) link

so sorry Suzy. I think we talked about your cousin at a FAP once, since what she has mirrored what my wife had. it is a cruel disease

Colonel Poo, Friday, 21 February 2020 12:33 (four days ago) link

Thank you CP. It means a lot to me that you took time out to send good wishes in your own time of mourning.

Kelly died today at 2.45 Minneapolis time, with her husband and boys close by. I am bereft (there is no other word for it).
Fuck you, cancer.

santa clause four (suzy), Saturday, 22 February 2020 00:12 (three days ago) link

So sorry for your loss suzy

Dunty Reggae party 🎉 (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 22 February 2020 00:19 (three days ago) link

2020 has just been straight garbage on this cancer front. Fuck cancer.

I’m sorry, suzy.

El Tomboto, Saturday, 22 February 2020 00:34 (three days ago) link

Suzy, sending you much much love.

nathom, Saturday, 22 February 2020 05:02 (three days ago) link

i’m so sorry, suzy

Generous Grant for Stepladder Creamery (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 22 February 2020 06:18 (three days ago) link

I’m really sorry, Suzy.

hyds (gyac), Saturday, 22 February 2020 07:28 (three days ago) link

so sorry, Suzy. It's all unbearably unfair.

kinder, Saturday, 22 February 2020 08:29 (three days ago) link

I’m trying to be thankful that the hellish, non compos mentis part of Kelly’s illness was so short. Right now, I’ll take what I can get.

santa clause four (suzy), Saturday, 22 February 2020 08:35 (three days ago) link

sorry for your loss Suzy.

Also thinking of the improvising guitarist John Russell this morning, who has just had a cancer diagnosis. Fuck cancer.

Ward Fowler, Saturday, 22 February 2020 09:20 (three days ago) link

sorry to hear that Suzy, what a wretched month it has been.

calzino, Saturday, 22 February 2020 10:23 (three days ago) link

My sincere condolences, Suzy. Fuck cancer.

romanesque architect (pomenitul), Saturday, 22 February 2020 11:05 (three days ago) link

best wishes and hugs suzy, and CP too and everyone else in the thread :(

mark s, Saturday, 22 February 2020 11:17 (three days ago) link

i'm so sorry suzy <3

american bradass (BradNelson), Saturday, 22 February 2020 13:57 (three days ago) link

Christ, hugs to you, suzy, and to you, calzino.

TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Saturday, 22 February 2020 14:21 (three days ago) link

My deepest condolences, suzy and calzino.

totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Saturday, 22 February 2020 16:10 (three days ago) link

My condolences, Suzy

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Saturday, 22 February 2020 21:08 (three days ago) link

I'm really sorry to hear of this Suzy, my condolences.

Oor Neechy, Saturday, 22 February 2020 22:10 (three days ago) link


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