itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lljydftcwg1qktoezo1_400.png

okay wendy shalit

Ok I call bullshit on girltip #95. Fess up, whomever shopped it.

hah DON'T YOU GET IT??? WE ARE ALL POLITE AND CHIVALROUS ANGELS WAITING FOR YOU DUMB SLUTS TO SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND KNOW YOUR PLACE

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llmf3g8PfH1qktoezo1_400.png

KIP!

yeah these aren't "tips" so much as insane person rantings

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lllm5lhVHy1qktoezo1_400.png

ok this one is just making me lol

I CAN'T TURN MY HEART INTO A CONDOM

oh sure i know that steve. i just... idk i just feel horribly for the adolescent kids (and older ppl too i guess) who fall into this advice trap, i guess, even though they end up perpetuating bullshit gender types. it just plays into so many kids' deep insecurities that some obnoxiously opinionated ppl exploit to get followers & reblogs.

i wonder if people were exposed to quite so much life-crushing idiot folk wisdom before the Internet era, feels like they weren't

they weren't basically huge swathes of content need to be machete'd out plus maybe the internet needs to be closed for a few hours each day or curfews put in place or something so that the people that write this crap, the people that read it looking for life cues and the ppl that read it and just feel slightly queasy at it all can have a break from it all and git real or whatever

Noodle you are forgetting "fax humor"

well i was gonna say Trace at one time u had to wait until you were in a horrible job before you got exposed to this shit so much, now it's out there for teens and younger

was also gonna say tho it's not just the internet, i guess reality TV shows have developed their own vocabulary and allowed a whole swathe of street philosophers to get their message out globally

i guess there were always wack-ass bumper stickers and t-shirts too plus real men don't eat quiche type books

t-shirts and bumper stickers are more like unfunny jokes that get less and less funny, whereas these kinds of blogs really set themselves up as HOW TO LIVE YOU LIFE 4 REAL

yeah, you're right.

good point you made connecting it to reality shows, too

i know someone who went abroad for a couple of years in the early nineties...and when she came back she was shocked and sorta mystified at how everyone seemed to be speaking in this new way, sorta like FRIENDS tv series-speak. can't imagine what it would be like to go away at the dawn of the 2000's and then come back to find people's speech peppered with all of the reality tv-isms

love the way "I'm just being real" became code for "FUCK YOU BUDDY I WILL BE AS NOXIOUS AND ENTITLED AS I WANT"

There have been women's and teen mags full of terrible advice for a long time.

yea for certain, but it's all ~decentralized~ now, all the kids telling other kids how to act horribly

#
Ok. I just want to let you all know, I got more submissions and more hatemail and to be honest, this blog is meant to amuse and not to hurt anyone. Im glad I have publicity :) If im so hated, why do i have 1,218 followers? Pleasee.. Tell me:) Haters will hate. I will get back to posting new tips soon :) <3 xoxo.

1 hour ago / 5 notes

sometimes haters hate because the hated is just so hateable.

i like to think if the internet was around in 1940 there wd've been all these butthurt nazis with "Haters Gonna Hate" gifs on their MeinSpaces

lol

that feels like another reality TV invention tho, the whole "if you hate anything i say or do the problem is with you and not with me, ever"

Starting at about age 10, I was consciously looking for help figuring out gender roles, mine in particular. 13 year old Jesse would have eaten a lot of this shit up. While I accepted feminist ideas, I also was influenced by the trend of bucking the strictures of being "PC," and I wanted desperately to fit in as a guy, so I could imagine myself acting out some of the crap from these sorts of advice sites.

xpost

yeah, that combined with the idea that being a dick/instigating drama all the time somehow makes for an endearing personality trait is just bad news

that feels like another reality TV invention tho, the whole "if you hate anything i say or do the problem is with you and not with me, ever"

It's not reality-TV, it's the self-help/self-esteem boom of the 80s

society is in the gutter iirc

you're probably right Dan, we shd institute an archeology of douchery in the post-War era

Just DOn't read this
http://www.carnaval.com/initiation/iron_john.jpg

i'm aware of his work, isn't it mostly about beating women with all-natural weapons?

I appreciated the girltip about menstrual blood because I have been letting it run down my legs and pool into my socks and never understood why people avoided me for five days each month.

http://www.actlikeaman.org/

Men – we face tremendous pressure and stress everyday. Work will never be finished but if there is one thing we need to remember all the time – it is this:
DON’T FORGET THE GIRL!
In every movie that we see the main guy does his thing, fights the villain, slays the dragon for one good reason – the girl. He has to go and get back to his girl.
Spiderman faces his villain who is holding Mary Jane. The villain is about to let go of her but at the same time he needs to save the people who are dying. He does his thing and saves the people while the villain drops Mary Jane. He does it on time but he gets back, swings his web and saves his girl.
Husbands – we sometimes feel like Spiderman. We are given a choice everyday – do our job and love our family – both takes time.
Do whatever you can to have a great job but not in the expense of having a bad marriage. A great marriage is worth more than our job. So in the course of doing our job – don’t forget the girl.

lol Jenny

How could I forget the girl? They never shut up.

http://www.actlikeaman.org/category/homosexuality/

enjoy

Churches and the kind of MAN they produce

http://actlikeaman.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/38947_1394124211219_1175589896_30950199_5671855_n.jpg

okay guys, nothing homoerotic to see here, move along

A Man’s mind is like a toolbox. A compartment for the nails, a compartment for the hammer, a compartment for every tool. Women are like their handbags. Have you tried getting something in a woman’s bag. It seems like every woman’s handbag has a black hole in it. Everything is mixed up and they like it that way and they have the talent of finding stuff in the bag.

Jesus

that one i feel like i know actual people who secretly believe something along those lines

We are given a choice everyday – do our job and love our family – both takes time.

bzzzzt skrsssh crash

We are given a choice everyday – do our job and love our family – both are soul-destroying wastes of time, amirite fellas.

TS: "boobs or butts it doesn't matter" vs "We are given a choice everyday – do our job and love our family – both takes time."

we are given a choice everyday -- boobs or butts -- doesn't matter

^^^ OTM

As skewed and fucked up as these are, can one at least make the argument that on some crazy level, there is at least an attempt to, y'know, be nice to ladies and treat them right (vs. being a blatant misogynist and etc)? Even if it is a totally batshit and bad way to do it?

I mean tbh some of these are sorta OTM

no. no you can't.