itt blogs instruct you how to be a man

THE
No. 322
RULE OF A GENTLEMAN

Put a towel on the floor by the two-inch gap under the door.

i mean okay i guess i can read a positive message in that but uh -- xp

How to Have Sex Like a Man

1. Engage in intercourse.

2. Stand up.

3. Hold out your hand.

4. Say “Thanks!” and “Goodbye.”

5. Gather your things.

6. Walk to the door with confidence.

7. Open the door.

8. Walk away.

loll

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llljcyuE2j1qktoezo1_400.png

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llljds1jQ01qktoezo1_400.png

hmmmm...

fuck you girltips

also lol Tracer

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lllj5fAXK01qktoezo1_400.png

*sigh*

"...bitch!"

http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llk6wk4SMq1qktoezo1_400.png

this is a pretty clear indicator of a borderline personality, y/n?

those kind of sound like random Facebook status updates TBH

I thought those girltips were ironic and meant to point out the craziness of the How to be a Lady ones, but I guess not???? I like that there is NO man worth a girl's virginity. None.

oh maybe they are!

yeah girltips is definitely not the same sort of advice but still horrible and disgusting, also pretty certain they have no satiric intent

oh jeez, these are all so, so fucking ridiculous, but I almost can't bring myself to get upset over them bcz it's only a niche thing that only ppl who already feel this way are going to seek out, not some huge widespread mainstream publication. Though OTOH this is, of course, just perpetuating all of this bullshit, and very few things set me off like queer/gender politics (reinforcement of dumb gender roles being a big one). Is it unfair to say that the ladies who eat this kind of shit up are probably just as dull and as the guys?

This is just really fucking stupid, I guess.

just, thank heavens for @feministhulk

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llk3ig2a5U1qktoezo1_400.png

brb gonna shoot myself in the face

i feel like the ladies who eat this kind of shit up are probably 12. maybe the guys, too.

OH GOOD

that last one cannot be serious

I was just looking at the rest of the site and yeh, the context suggests that it's probably not satire :(

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llk5l7wP7f1qktoezo1_400.png

FOR SHAME

ya dude that jersey shore one is the one where you stop being upset and just ryde and walk away; these probably aren't changing anyone's mind or "teaching" anyone anything in the first place

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lljydftcwg1qktoezo1_400.png

okay wendy shalit

Ok I call bullshit on girltip #95. Fess up, whomever shopped it.

hah DON'T YOU GET IT??? WE ARE ALL POLITE AND CHIVALROUS ANGELS WAITING FOR YOU DUMB SLUTS TO SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND KNOW YOUR PLACE

http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llmf3g8PfH1qktoezo1_400.png

KIP!

yeah these aren't "tips" so much as insane person rantings

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lllm5lhVHy1qktoezo1_400.png

ok this one is just making me lol

I CAN'T TURN MY HEART INTO A CONDOM

oh sure i know that steve. i just... idk i just feel horribly for the adolescent kids (and older ppl too i guess) who fall into this advice trap, i guess, even though they end up perpetuating bullshit gender types. it just plays into so many kids' deep insecurities that some obnoxiously opinionated ppl exploit to get followers & reblogs.

i wonder if people were exposed to quite so much life-crushing idiot folk wisdom before the Internet era, feels like they weren't

they weren't basically huge swathes of content need to be machete'd out plus maybe the internet needs to be closed for a few hours each day or curfews put in place or something so that the people that write this crap, the people that read it looking for life cues and the ppl that read it and just feel slightly queasy at it all can have a break from it all and git real or whatever

Noodle you are forgetting "fax humor"

well i was gonna say Trace at one time u had to wait until you were in a horrible job before you got exposed to this shit so much, now it's out there for teens and younger

was also gonna say tho it's not just the internet, i guess reality TV shows have developed their own vocabulary and allowed a whole swathe of street philosophers to get their message out globally

i guess there were always wack-ass bumper stickers and t-shirts too plus real men don't eat quiche type books

t-shirts and bumper stickers are more like unfunny jokes that get less and less funny, whereas these kinds of blogs really set themselves up as HOW TO LIVE YOU LIFE 4 REAL

yeah, you're right.

good point you made connecting it to reality shows, too

i know someone who went abroad for a couple of years in the early nineties...and when she came back she was shocked and sorta mystified at how everyone seemed to be speaking in this new way, sorta like FRIENDS tv series-speak. can't imagine what it would be like to go away at the dawn of the 2000's and then come back to find people's speech peppered with all of the reality tv-isms

love the way "I'm just being real" became code for "FUCK YOU BUDDY I WILL BE AS NOXIOUS AND ENTITLED AS I WANT"

There have been women's and teen mags full of terrible advice for a long time.

yea for certain, but it's all ~decentralized~ now, all the kids telling other kids how to act horribly

#
Ok. I just want to let you all know, I got more submissions and more hatemail and to be honest, this blog is meant to amuse and not to hurt anyone. Im glad I have publicity :) If im so hated, why do i have 1,218 followers? Pleasee.. Tell me:) Haters will hate. I will get back to posting new tips soon :) <3 xoxo.

1 hour ago / 5 notes

sometimes haters hate because the hated is just so hateable.

i like to think if the internet was around in 1940 there wd've been all these butthurt nazis with "Haters Gonna Hate" gifs on their MeinSpaces

lol

that feels like another reality TV invention tho, the whole "if you hate anything i say or do the problem is with you and not with me, ever"

Starting at about age 10, I was consciously looking for help figuring out gender roles, mine in particular. 13 year old Jesse would have eaten a lot of this shit up. While I accepted feminist ideas, I also was influenced by the trend of bucking the strictures of being "PC," and I wanted desperately to fit in as a guy, so I could imagine myself acting out some of the crap from these sorts of advice sites.