Shitty roommates: an advice thread

I moved in with this girl nine months ago...I had posted a housing wanted ad and she responded saying we had a lot in common and would probably get along fairly well, and the house was pretty cheap so I took the offer. Long story short, this girl is a total bitch...mostly just because she lived here first, she views this as her house with her fucking uptight rules and treats me as basically a guest living in her house. We had another guy living with us for a while and he hated her more than I did and left after four months.

Her new boyfriend moved in with us about a month ago and she never asked me if it was cool or anything like that; plus, he doesn't pay any rent. At first, it was that he was only here when she was here, but he has his own set of keys now and I'm not sure he even has a place to live anymore (although I guess all of his stuff must be stored SOMEWHERE). I'm leaving June 15 and trying to find some minor form of payback to make myself feel better about this whole thing, juvenile as it is. Any ideas? Is it shitty to keep putting off my rent check and then just ditching the place a day early without paying my half-a-month's rent? I never signed anything, there was never any contract or agreement other than verbally.

I've lived in a number of different situations, both through craigslist and just with friends, and I've never been so miserable about a housing arrangement.

Now, I'm in one of those utilities-included-in-the-rent situation, so I'm paying the same whether he lives here or not. It just really pisses me off that he has ALL of the same access to the house that I have, that I have to wait for the bathroom while he's getting ready in the mornings, etc. etc.

Should I be mad about this? Would YOU be mad about this? I'm just trying to see if I have any right to be pissed off about it. I'm thinking about leaving a day early and stiffing her on the half-a-month's rent...would that be a shitty thing to do? As far as I'm concerned, her boyfriend can pay it.

And the other thing is, I feel like they must know it's kind of a shitty thing to do or otherwise they would spend some time at his place, assuming he has a place.

And the part about the rent is in there twice...who needs proofreading?

pay your rent, move out and forget about it imo

talking to them about the situation beforehand and calling them dicks if they're not cooperative is optional

wouldn't consider a month with a s.o. crashing that unreasonable in any of my previous houseshares but it's the kind of thing you'd expect people to explain and set ground rules for in advance; passive-aggressive theft is probably not the healthy way to respond to it though

murder the boyfriend and frame your roommate

By not being on the lease you are essentially just month-to-month which is pretty sweet but doesn't give you much right to complain, so MPx4A itm

itm = otm

not really looking for advice, just a place to vent. sorry this is so long.

i moved into the basement of a small-ish 60s tract house at the end of april. the owner of the house, a 60-something woman named v3rona, lives on the main floor. in the basement are: a large bedroom, a bathroom, a large "family room" or den, a second storage room and a small "kitchen" area that only has a mini-fridge. no sink, oven, or stove. there is also no separate entrance to the basement. so basically, i agreed to move into a fairly large separate floor, sharing only entrance access and the upstairs kitchen with a roommate/landlord.

a week after i move in, someone turns on the front outdoor spigot for the first time this year and there's a pipe burst from earlier freezing. i come home from work and the entire den/kitchen area is flooded. luckily only a little bit of my bedroom is wet and none of my stuff is ruined.

i stay in the basement for as long as possible because i am not looking forward to moving upstairs into the tiny baby bedroom next to v3rona's bedroom and sharing her bathroom. but i agree to do it because people are starting to tear up the carpet in the basement, work on the ceiling / walls etc. luckily, v3rona and her boyfriend head out camping for a month and a half, which gives me the space and time to move upstairs. i take out all of the "baby's room" stuff that is in that room, and i mean it's fully stocked for her grandkid with diapers, weird kids art on the walls, etc. i put the stuff in the upstairs living room / tv area. there is nowhere else to put it inside the house where it won't be in the way or get dirty (i don't watch tv). i can't put it into a second bedroom (an empty one, not v3rona's) because she has locked it before leaving.

v3rona informs me that friends of hers are coming to stay for three days. she has mentioned it in passing before the basement flooded. this would be much less of an imposition if i were still in the basement, but now i will have to share the kitchen, bathroom and generally small living area with two strangers. it isn't a long time, but still, not looking forward to it.

v3rona asks me if i can clean the kitchen, the bathroom and put the stuff i removed to the tv area in the shed outside before they arrive (which was yesterday). i agree. on sunday, i clean the bathroom and the kitchen. i don't move the stuff from the living room because i can't open the shed doors and i don't think it's that big a deal. also, monday night i am late home from work, i make dinner, leave some dishes in the sink because i'm tired and have to get up early for work.

the day these people arrive, i get home from work. they are out but their car is in the driveway. i go into my bedroom and v3rona is calling. she starts telling me that she's very upset with me. her voice is raised. she asks me why i haven't cleaned, why there are dishes in the sink and why the stuff is still in the living room. i'm upset and say this isn't going to be a productive conversation, but then proceed to tell her i cleaned, there were some dishes in the sink from a late dinner, and i couldn't figure out the shed. she's yelling at me about how i need to communicate with her if i'm not going to do this stuff.

so basically, this boomer couple from california had communicated to v3rona right after they arrived how there was stuff in the living room and dishes in the sink. i'm not sure if she asked them or if they volunteered the information. either way, my opinion of these people is not off to a great start.

right after i get off the phone, the people come into the house. i come out and say hi. the woman says "we thought there was a squatter living here." i recoil. i say back "i appreciate you informed my landlord of that" and things feel a little tense. i'm visibly upset. and i already hate this woman. what is her problem, complaining about workaday messes in an otherwise clean place when she knows the basement is being remodeled. having the audacity to say that to me, who gets to share my living space with these strangers.

the woman is a miserable, manipulative person and her husband is whiny. their interactions are quarrelsome. they are both extremely entitled. it's high season in moab and they're staying in my living space for free without their friend here, but they seem to expect that i should host them by default, asking me to clear my stuff onto one shelf in the fridge to make room for all the food they brought, for instance. i walk out of my bedroom this morning and the man can't figure out v3rona's coffee maker and he asks me if i know how to use it. i say no. i make my morning smoothie. i'm drinking it at the kitchen sink, out of the blender bottle like usual, with the hot water running because i will rinse it out in 15 seconds. he is hanging at my side, "may i please have some water?" "can you hold on for just a second?"

i cannot muster anything other than ignoring these people as much as possible, i don't care how rude it seems. the whole situation is just absurd to me. and v3rona yelling at me like it was my responsibility to make sure her entitled guests were in an appropriately clean space is just really pissing me off. she is a weird woman. i generally like her and can tell she has a good heart but she's very dramatic and just ... busy to no good reason, kind of a mess.

the thing is, i don't want to move again in the next month. i've been moving every few months for the last year. i'm tired. i signed this lease through october and i intend to stick it out but i'm feeling a little sick to my stomach about what i've signed up for with this roommate/landlord who can't help but wrap people in close proximity to her up in her bullshit. god i fucking hate having to share my living space with other people.

i'm sorry maps, that sounds like a shitty situation. moving sucks but you should get out if possible imo

thanks. yeah you're right. i'll feel better even if i just start looking for a new place.

i'm pretty happy with the place i moved to in most every other respect, at least, and work is pretty cool. so i imagine if i can find some decent roommates now that i'm here, things will be relatively good. i know at least two people who are leaving town in july (coworkers), so i'll talk to them. and i might be able to qualify for low-income housing which could be a way to afford living on my own, at least until next april.

murder the boyfriend couple and frame your roommate landlord

― ☂ (max), Saturday, June 4, 2011 1:17 PM (six years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i just told my terrible roommate to fuck right off out of here and it feels great and terrifying

i guess i can’t help but feel i could’ve communicated better but like constantly consuming my things in the fridge without asking and attempting to replace them clandestinely without telling me is fucking horrendous roommate behavior and i told her plenty of times to just fuckin tell me when she’s accidentally on purpose drank all of the beers i was intending to share with my girlfriend

the final straw is i have been obviously cleaning the stovetop over the past few days and i came home to like an entire fucking egg and grilled cheese grease on top of where i had just cleaned and i texted her like “i really need you to clean up after yourself better” and she was like “no one has ever cleaned the stovetop, it is full of your cats’ hair anyway, i don’t see how this is my problem.” and i was just like, well. FUCK. OFF

i'll forgive "accidentally on purpose drank all of the beers" as a roommate when you're still in college, but if you're a working professional and you lean into that, get gone asap.