Blue Saturday

thread of mumbling to myself. you can play too.

Playlist, shuffled

Popol Vuh - Hosianna Mantra
Actress - Splazsh
Paysage d'Hiver - Kristall & Isa
v/a - Mystic Records Presents We Got Power - Party or Go Home
Alva Noto - Xerrox Vol. 2
Debris - Static Disposal
Pere Ubu - The Modern Dance
Pussy Galore - Exile on Main Street
Decayes - Not Yet!
Ulver - Nattens Madrigal
Edgar Varèse - noise interpolations from "Déserts"
Orbital - Brown Album
The Fall - Escape Route from the Wonderful and Frightening World of
John Beltran - Earth and Nightfall
Celtic Frost - To Mega Therion
Expo '70 - Animism & Black Ohms

add zoloft and low-grade hangover, play freecell, lean back, stir

freecell is fucking tedious tbh.

spent a lot of time this week watching young people going about their business, wondered why the fuck they were bothering for the most part. humans' sense of a worthwhile life/survival is pretty fucking tedious tbh.

i mean we are ape-y and not much imbued with magic or wonder

have been semi-inclined to go to Beverley and get properly drunk and lost today, out of spite and dickishness really, but this feels like a more satisfactory and less damaging way of getting some of that out of my system. damn i love a temporary solution tho. temporary dissolution.

okay, "Remind" is proper classic. lolstalgia. here is a notable story from the annals of Hull history

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article145635.ece

the other weekend we decided there should be a giant animatronic goat-fucker alongside the railway line just before the station, with a neon "Welcome to Hull" sign over it

i missed the last d off of "Edgard", I know

lolstalgia. jaysus

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMFspaHFl3Q&feature=related

in the service of full disclosure, obv. there's not much more ridiculous than middle age, but youth is probly one of the things

http://www.sabotagetimes.com/wp-content/uploads/Hull-Fair-7.jpg

so in love with the decent past but this picture could've been took anytime, really

city lost to time, city that fell from grace with the sea

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=px5RkcwxkZQ

oh Hessle Road

half fucked now but still classic

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6bWJd44i-o

best band ever btw

http://bill.terebenthine.free.fr/images/spiders_from_mars.jpg

This is the 2nd best band from Hull ever. They were still Quite Good.

http://bill.terebenthine.free.fr/images/spiders_from_mars.jpg

man this tension between wanting to escape and knowing i won't escape very far, tawdriness in advance, wanting a pub with chet baker on the jukey or at the least Stock Aitken and Watermang's "SS Paparazzi" - lolstalgia again tho - can't even get a pint of Double Diamond anywhere now, not sure they still brew it - or that i want it tbh

not sure how much of this is the medicine flexing its muscles either but

not cut out for another 5 - 50 years of this really and pondering whether maintaining a facade of functional dignity is doing anybody any favours when i shd be beatniking it out in the wilds of this hilarious city

http://www.heritagepubs.org.uk/images/pubphotos/Hull-OldeWhiteHart-MainBar.jpg

Allegedly - tho you know history and publicity make bitch liars and memory is quite rewriteable - this is where we started to win the Civil War. Charles was keen on coming into the city and securing the arsenal and the docks but local capitalist plutocrat guys got together in this pub and told the mayor to lock the gates and tell him to get tae fuck. which he did, against his will. this pub is really cosy and still pub-esque, which y'know is an increasingly rare fucking commodity in the 2K10s. also where i heard some dude being accused of being "racist against gays".

Pubs I have loved: the Piper, the Gardener's, Hockneys when it were old and working man's clubbish, the Golden Ball, the Engineers, the Mint, the Black Boy, the Olde White Hart, the Schnapps Bar, the Empress, the Star of the West RIP you were a beautiful dump, the Station, the Turnpike and that stupid sports bar at the back where I watched us win the play-offs and got so splattered by half time I didn't remember a fucking thing about it, also where I watched Eubank fuck up Watson but missed the fatal punch and said something unfortunate about him not getting tagged that hard

interrupted because our joel just texted to inform me that a pet shop in town is selling bird food labelled "6 fat balls for wild birds"

and I KNOW HOW IT FEELS

http://www.eyorks.com/hullpub/

this virtual pub crawl is kinda sick-making with lolstalgia. the probable siberian wind knifing ice-sleet into yr face is doing a good job of keeping my safe in the house tho. am gonna cheat and make myself a little sump'n sump'n now to tilt the balance. might as well be hung for a whole pen full of sheep etc

honest to god there used to be a fishing tackle shop on Anlaby Rd called "Master Baits"

ginger beer, is there anything you don't mix with?

one can't help but feel that social evolution is something of a pig in that it discards all use for male libido about 30 fucking years before yr male does

NON-ALIGNMENT PACT YES BANG ON TIME

am looping that fucker

don't know when i, when i'll be conte-eh-eh-ent btw

really tho motivation is a funny thing. i dunno that aristotle was right about the unexamined life not being worth living but fuck i seem to see a lot of unexamination going down. ruminants. being a ruminant is plenty cool if you like cud tho. absolutely don't despise peoples alignments with themselves, just am wickedly out of sync and not getting how to get my groove "back" ha like it's been there since what 10? 5? seem to remember being reasonable centred playing army on the grass square at the top of our street but even then i was more of a cloud watcher rilly.

you reach this point when you think "man i am all ego self-centred aspie not good for people observer only bollocks" and that's a thing that you can be, one doesn't like to think it about yourself but we aren't all cut out for being productive and reasonable and loveable guys really

ginger ale not great with sambuca fwiw

got no real issues with the rest

yeah that seems true, wdn't mix sambuca tho tbh. ginger beer, not ale. I like ginger ale but it's a pretty low key mixer? have an unopened bottle that i might bring into play when the ginger beer runs out unless mrs v comes home and slaps me upside my head

which wd be a dece excuse tbh

we should totally go out on the lash, darragh, it would be most excellent times imo

no issues with that either, but no aristotle pls

i don't do aristotle in the pub, or anywhere else really, dude was shit

most tedious fucking philosopher ever award or maybe leibniz or that twat brother of Henery James's's

i forgot the old fake irish bar appendage to the mainbrace in my list of much loved pubs, and the mainbrace itself, spent a glorious new years eve in there one time off my swede on mushrooms thinking i'd got a glowing sign on my head saying "this dude's on mushrooms"

i miss hallucinogens

booze is a ready, loving, companiable buddy for ALL TIME tho

it was all-encompassing dismissal of discussion of all higher modes of though tbh

For drinking purposes, that is. Time and a place, time and a place

exackly

sport and giant animatronic goat-fucker tableaux are ideal pub convos tbh

don't even take my "oh pity poor me i is so sad" face to the boozer, it is NOT THE PLACE

i wouldnt trust booze with my money or missus but i'll go drinking with him alright.

not that i is so sad, i am kinda focused and edgy and probly not real level-headed but sadness is sort of not there except an impending "i like where this relationship is going" gif sadness and wondering hmmm can i keep up a veneer of not-great for another 10 years or so until the kids are all safely launched

goat fucker convo def has icebreaker value

he is an hull legend. shd definitely feature in the publicity blurb imo, also he is one of those dudes where everybody you meet knows somebody who knows him

but this is like the biggest village in the world so

six degrees of separation in hull = about 3

fond memories of P4ul H34ton allegedly fending off Poll Tax bailiffs with an air rifle from his Grafton Street mansion

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sNffR-yTA4

our civic anthem

reckon a goatfucker or similar on the sound bridge would put achill on the map

Ok, on phone, in body lotion section of an actual irl fancy dept store, and my full attn is required. Continue at yr own pace will check validity of the remainder of thread later

suddenly I have Depeche Mode's "Just Can't Get Enough" with the lyric changed to "Just Can't Get It Up" stuck in my head as a good idea for a Weird Al song

am not even dressed yet but gotta admit the water on the windows did inspire a bit of "oh sweet (not)..." earlier. mostly just glad to be the not at work though evne if this afternoon fails in my quest to do anything productive 4th week running.

lucky I have the new Radiohead album to listen to, high spirits ahead!

Love to you gyac ❤️ In fact, I love all of you. You too Pom ;)

You too, LBI. :)

Fuck, it’s bad though isn’t it

Dunno whether to vent in here or mostly apolitical or ukpol or usLOL or the_slack or just shut my debbie downer mouth but anyway thinking of y’all you lot and hope you are finding ways to cope (I am doing a self care by not caring for myself at all) & stave off the blues. Much love, and that goes for all of you, plus pom

I mentioned to a beloved ilxor earlier (plus pom) the idea some brane genius hat of Cambridge fap and i think that’s still a great idea whenever. Maybe I could bring you a new Christmas card?!

FAPs anywhere and everywhere when it's possible IMO

love to anyone struggling or not struggling atm. it's fucking shit and never ends. I'm off the booze at the moment so can't even drown my sorrows. tbh if I didn't have weed I don't think I could manage it.

Much love to you Colonel, we will meet at some stage and in the meantime please cuddle lovely Dottie and her happy tail ❤️ Just awful shit the whole time.

Monocle dropping out at it taking 4 hours to get from Edinburgh to Peterborough, and a further hour to get from there to Cambridge?

Just stay overnight, fool, almost everyone will be travelling from somewhere anyway. It will surely be worth it to meet some of us irl you haven’t met before? You too, pom.

Yeah definitely up for FAPs wherever once we come out the other side. I have been to hastings once but didn't get a chance to sample the pubs. gyac I have still not ruled out the first card arriving!

I should be back in the UK some time in May – I don't know exactly for how long but, worst comes to worst, I'll be back again after that. Either way, a Cambridge FAP is a lovely prospect and I do want to meet you all in meatspace (plus gyac).

Hang in there, Colonel. It's not quite in the spirit of a Blue Saturday, but I'm doing dry January at the moment and so far it has been a (mild) boon to my morale.

No no I'll definitely be at the FAP, just a bit o_O that 'the direct route' isn't significantly quicker than going in to King's Cross and out again.

I never do dry january or new year's resolutions so last year I made a point of going to the pub on Jan 1 but after that I didn't drink for the first quarter of the year - until lockdown basically

(plus gyac).

fwiw I am not doing Dry January. I just drank way too much over xmas/new year and felt like I was going to have kidney failure. they only stopped hurting yesterday after being sober for a week. it may end up being Dry January anyway although I drank all day on the 1st so have already broken it tbf

Oh I also drank on the 1st but fuck that, let's not make it more onerous for ourselves than it already is.

I am pro drinking on the 1st, i) it is a good day to drink ii) it makes not drinking in the rest of jan/the year less of A Thing

I have had the throbbing kidney feeling too many times, sometimes I tell myself it's just backache but yeah giving it a rest a good idea

Look I worded it weird earlier cos pom is a slack denier also I was talking to gyac

You bunch of cunts

I am deliriously happy this week and I feel almost guilty about that but you know I love you all

Cunts

*and pom too

xp right back at ya, big man

gyac I hate you so much right now

_ _ u t_ _ p_m

ffs zing

I am not looking forward to having to leave the house today, but once again we are missing or almost out of lots of groceries (plus missing everyone I didn’t see on the sssooomm)

I had enough food today, I need to go tomorrow and I need to do laundry and other delayed chores

You too, pom

Up for Cambridge FAP too. Good thought in dark times.

Lawks a lawd a lads
Save me from the comedown
The universe is infinitely blue
Bluetiful

Drink water before bed, lad

^^^

Well yeah sure but

I’ll post Keir to the thread unless you get up and get some right now

Look I've drunk loads of fluid today and it's not helping

Bluetered

The wust of it is I'm not as pished as I ought

Wustfil drinking

OK when I'm listening to "Sex Weed" on a loop that's bed time

Playing SAW I in bed as a John Harris tribute

that thing inside you
it were outside you
malavarice eats us up

the urge to sneak into saturnonymity

and that's what makes my life so fucking fantastic

Don't have time to be fanciful, just noting how sweet the sadness is of gazing into the shifting shades of blue at a slight remove

Which is just a way of being pointlessly always a bit sad I guess, always missing some little object, eh?

The difference between melancholy and gloom? Perhaps I’ve misinterpreted that first one.

It is, also it's a soft melancholy, like when you're tapped into the universal blue.

Lots of defrosted feelings at my end, tho I believe in the collective blue of the universe

Just needed to whitter and jot it down here, lol havent felt the urge for ages for some reason.

twhitter nest pas

Well now.

I never really know how to define melancholy. Instinctively i think of it as sort of sadness tinting everything, diluted but pervasive? Sadness itself is almost a pain (at least for someone who feels all their negative emotions physically it is too), stronger and harder to ignore.

Melancholy = there is a fundamental sadness underpinning existence and it's beautiful so that's ok

(nb there is also a fundamental joy underpinning existence probably but joy feels much more atomised/personal)

I can bask in melancholy but joy is more unsettling idk

melancholy is the pretty rainbow colours shifting across the surface of the dark petrol gloop of sadness

That’s a great way of putting it

A little bubble of black nihilism stuck in my lungs today for no obvious reason.

It's good to observe this stuff calmly until I can cough it up