Innocuous things that make you irrationally angry (a list thread)

82. The one or two guys I work with who obsessively & exclusively talk about Fantasy Football, in the manner that 10 year old boys talk about dinosaurs. I don't mind general, occasional chatter about FF, as a football fan I kinda enjoy it, but if that's the *only* thing you can talk about then AAAAGGGH OMG OMG STFU

83. the fact that wasps/hornets only exist in order to live out their darwinian purpose of being dicks

these are all very rational things to get angry about

the point of this thread is not to show how other people are dickheads, it's to show the ways in which you are a dickhead

i was talking about wasps/hornets, which are not people

neither are mosquitos

or dollar bills with things stamped on them

84. Ppl on my bus in the morning who don't pull the stop cord for the train station stop b/c they assume the bus is going to stop there anyway.

85. The cheerful guy whose entire job is to hand commuters copies of the Red Eye (free, terrible commuter paper produced by the Chicago Sun Times) b/c if I want this piece of shit publication, I can grab it out of the ubiquitous paper boxes in front of the station. I don't need you to mock bow and sing out "Good morning!" and flourish the paper in my face as I enter the station.

86. People who wear sports jerseys to work. You're a grown up in a professional job. Dress like one.

wish to register protest at #86. proper grownup jobs let you decide to dress yourself

Protest all you want. It will not change that it is an innocuous thing that annoys me.

- when other people arrive like 10 minutes late to work, on the one day that i'm not 15 minutes late to work

"what slackers" i say to myself

"they should take this job more seriously" i think, as i munch a muffin and check my personal email

"do they really think no one notices?"

then i show up at my normal time, 15 minutes late, for the next two months

88. slowmoving massive line to get into a large, multi-stalled women's bathroom....where over HALF the stalls are actually empty.
the reason for the line is that PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING RETARDED THEY STOP DEAD AT THE ENTRANCE AND STARE FOR AN HOUR TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHICH STALLS ARE EMPTY. JUST WALK IN YOU FUCKING SHEEP. WALK. IN.

89. People who talk about Glee to say anything other than "it sucks"

people who exist, near me

I'm so with you today, Tracer.

People who beat me to the printer/copier when two of the three machines are out of order, and there are like 40 people all sharing the remaining one.

90. People who misuse apostrophes over and over again, putting them in every plural word. I DEMAND PERFECT GRAMMAR, EVEN ON THE INTERNET.

people who buy things in shops, if they are in front of me in line

the people behind me are cool

retail staff who don't move with 100% videogame-like efficiency

HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO DAWDLE OVER THAT POPPADOM

People who audibly disapprove of me or my wishes, anywhere, any time, in any language.

testify

I wish I were kidding.

91. people getting irrationally angry about other people who walk slowly. i want to walk at whatever pace i feel like thank you very much

Hangers. Just because.

People who disappear off the face of the Earth for a month, completely out of phone/e-mail contact, then suddenly send a group e-mail at 5:20PM scheduling a pair of two hour "catch up" meetings for the following day at 10AM and late afternoon. Thanks for that, it's not like I was DOING ANYTHING oh wait I WAS AND YOU BOLLOCKS'ED UP MY DAY

94. people who quote rules, policies or laws at me rather than just acquiescing to my demands

93. People in restaurants who order using either "Can I get . . ." or "I'm going to have . . . " instead of "May I have . . . " or "May I please have . . . "

94. Motherfuckers who pay for things by putting the money on the counter, rather than handing it to the cashier.

Seriously, 94 has caused more spikes in my blood pressure than anything else ever.

96. People who only go one stop on the bus. They could walk, most of them. Obviously, it'd be mean to chastise the elderly or the infirm for going one stop. Though, it's probably a good idea for the elderly to keep active.

Let me explain: Why, because hangers grab onto clothes when you're standing on tiptoe holding a cup of hot liquids or a cigarette in the other hand, just trying to get a jacket out, and it will require three hands to disentangle the item from every clip and crevice of any hanger within reach. Conversely, when you put a shirt or dress ON the hanger, the hanger will plumb refuse to grip anything, and the item will slither off the tip of the thing as soon as you take your hand away from placing the hanger on the bar. You can watch it in slow motion, as the strap slips, sliiiips...a little more! and then WHOOSH it's crumpled on the floor behind your dry cleaning pile.

Motherfuckers who pay for things by putting the money on the counter, rather than handing it to the cashier.

sometimes i do this and i always feel bad about it but sometimes i have an important phone game to continue playing

it's worse when the shop asst. puts your change on the counter, that's rude.

laurel what about otherwise empty hangers that hide inside the top of already hung clothes, it's like THEY HATE ME

I am actively trying to train myself out of number 93.

I was just about to say that 93 seems over the top to me. I always order with "I'll have..." and don't really see anything wrong with it.

94 is de rigueur in some surprising places, mostly involving people of other cultures and religious faiths, who may not want to touch their customers' hands for various reasons.

97. People who stand in front of a cashier after paying for their goods, and immediately hold their hand out waiting for change, rather than waiting for the cashier to hand them their change before extending their hand. It drives me batshit, and has the same effect as tapping your hand or foot impatiently. Simmer the fuck down, rudeperson.

I would explain why 97 sometimes happens by accident but honestly that's not what this thread is for and it's already humming along so nicely that I hate to soften the blows with justifications.

98. when you tell someone about a problem or worry you are having and their response is something along the lines of "eeeek". thanks for the help!

Sometimes life may feel like it's sucking you up
But it's not, it might be just you sucking

Sometimes life may feel just like you're losing the race
But you're not, you're just letting everyone else win

Sometimes it feels like everyone's being a dick
But they're not, it's just you being a dick to everyone

Some days it seems like nothing works right
But its fine, you're probably just using it wrong

99. Opening goods in the supermarket & eating/drinking them before you've paid for them (and then handing the opened package to the cashier at the checkout). The only exception I will allow is maybe, *maybe* if you have small children/toddlers with you. But if you're a grown person, surely you can wait til you've paid for the damn thing. It's called impulse control.

xxxposts, Laurel the accidental extending of the hand is definitely exempt in this case. It's more directed to the crabby, oblivious, rudey mcrudensteins who live to belittle salespeople.

100. Dust jackets. I feel I should keep them, but I don't really like them. Not that I'm incandescent about it, just mildly urrgh.

That's very sad because most books are ugly.

98. People who complain about every little trivial dumb thing in life because that apparently is their only outlet for releasing their rage.