wasps shoot out a/c vents while you're driving
― dyao, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:08 (eleven years ago) link
D:
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:11 (eleven years ago) link
Satan bets he'll make you curse your existance. God accepts.
― Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:11 (eleven years ago) link
diarrhea rainstorm
― hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:15 (eleven years ago) link
lol, nice, two words.
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:16 (eleven years ago) link
girlfriend screams at 4AM, flashlight shines into bedroom window
really happened^
old lady standing at the foot of your bed, staring
― rent, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:17 (eleven years ago) link
omg!
xpost
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:17 (eleven years ago) link
all your cell walls collapse.
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:18 (eleven years ago) link
your cock is a spiral ham
― Lamp, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:18 (eleven years ago) link
looooool
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:19 (eleven years ago) link
an idiot gets ahold of a nuclear weapon
― Mordy, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:19 (eleven years ago) link
bleeding from the ankle in open waters, great white approaching.
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:20 (eleven years ago) link
parks and recreation marathon
― I’ll put you in a f *ckin Weingarten you c*nt! (history mayne), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:20 (eleven years ago) link
i wanna hear the rest of that flashlight story!
xpost ha aa haa ha ha ha haaa
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:20 (eleven years ago) link
bound & gagged by cannibal dwarfs
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:23 (eleven years ago) link
the flashlight moved away from the window seconds after my girlfriend woke me up and my initial reaction was, surprisingly, delirious anger. i ran outside in my boxers to see if i could see someone running away but by the time i got out there they were gone. end of story. i'm thinking aliens.
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:25 (eleven years ago) link
every Cannibal Corpse song ever
― the new hot dawg stand in compton (Pillbox), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:29 (eleven years ago) link
Ebola everywhere. Bleeding from eyes only a matter of time.
― Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:30 (eleven years ago) link
wake up, no light, can't move
― karl...arlk...rlka...lkar..., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:32 (eleven years ago) link
Everything starts catching on fire.
― kkvgz, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:42 (eleven years ago) link
Oops that's a penis
― i maybe does drugs (rip van wanko), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:43 (eleven years ago) link
^^^^^^^^^ next m. knight shyamalan film.
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:44 (eleven years ago) link
Relative says "Let's have a big family Christmas!"
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:44 (eleven years ago) link
next m. knight shyamalan film.
^^ most terrifying scenario so far
― goth (crüt), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:44 (eleven years ago) link
― kkvgz, Sunday, July 18, 2010 6:42 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQZ3nICd8uk
― del griffith, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:46 (eleven years ago) link
worms start wriggling out the pores of your skin
― dyao, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:47 (eleven years ago) link
world's fattest man sits on you, doesn't get up
― dyao, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:48 (eleven years ago) link
stuck in an elevator for 72 hours
Your martini arrives garnished with a tiny shrunken head.
― Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:50 (eleven years ago) link
you are marrying an otter
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:55 (eleven years ago) link
you marry an otter who turns out to be gay
― del griffith, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:56 (eleven years ago) link
still posting to ILX in 10 years
― al-goreda (s1ocki), Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:57 (eleven years ago) link
still alive in 10 years
― Lamp, Sunday, 18 July 2010 18:59 (eleven years ago) link
still D.R.E. in 10 years
― al-goreda (s1ocki), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:00 (eleven years ago) link
lol
― Daniel, Esq., Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:04 (eleven years ago) link
The Republicans retake control of the House and Senate.
― Aimless, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:04 (eleven years ago) link
president palin
― iatee, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:08 (eleven years ago) link
fellow apartment-resident palin
― goth (crüt), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:08 (eleven years ago) link
palin takes over the tonight show
― iatee, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:09 (eleven years ago) link
While eating a chocolate bar, someone says "That's not chocolate"
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:12 (eleven years ago) link
all the world's food becomes carob
― del griffith, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:14 (eleven years ago) link
soy-based alternative to sex invented & becomes norm
― Everytime I hit 'submit post' the internet gets dumber (darraghmac), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:15 (eleven years ago) link
GB General Election decided by ILX poll
― ninjas and lasers and gold and (snoball), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:16 (eleven years ago) link
Every time you fall asleep, you die and are replaced.
― Darramouss, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:27 (eleven years ago) link
actually alive during your autopsy.
― my cock is a spiral ham (The Cursed Return of the Dastardly Thermo Thinwall), Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:29 (eleven years ago) link
Joseph Stalin having butt sex with your mom (without lube)
― Michael B, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:30 (eleven years ago) link
World Cup Final 2010 : Netherlands vs Spain - Netherlands wins.
― StanM, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:31 (eleven years ago) link
England wins World Cup
― iatee, Sunday, 18 July 2010 19:32 (eleven years ago) link
You eat lunch. One by one your teeth fall out.
― A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 25 October 2017 21:04 (four years ago) link
Sissoko starts every game for the rest of the season
― Gary Synaesthesia (darraghmac), Wednesday, 25 October 2017 21:05 (four years ago) link
Emperor Bundy
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Saturday, 28 October 2017 14:06 (four years ago) link
“madam, i’m scott adams”
― estela, Saturday, 28 October 2017 23:11 (four years ago) link
found our parakeet with all of her beak broken off.
― Ripped Taylor (Old Lunch), Thursday, 7 December 2017 14:46 (four years ago) link
Your ambitious mortgage application has been approved
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Thursday, 7 December 2017 14:48 (four years ago) link
^^^braggin
― imago, Thursday, 7 December 2017 14:55 (four years ago) link
Future Guinness record holder for 'largest kidney stone ever passed'.
― Ripped Taylor (Old Lunch), Thursday, 7 December 2017 14:58 (four years ago) link
XP fantasy tbu
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Thursday, 7 December 2017 15:34 (four years ago) link
Emperor Trump stuck on Imperial Toilet
― fuck you, your hat is horrible (Neanderthal), Thursday, 7 December 2017 16:08 (four years ago) link
congrats dmac
― infinity (∞), Thursday, 7 December 2017 16:35 (four years ago) link
Will ye stop
― remember the lmao (darraghmac), Thursday, 7 December 2017 16:35 (four years ago) link
― Mordy, Sunday, July 18, 2010 2:19 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
crystal ball yo
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 August 2018 03:31 (three years ago) link
you have to write so dully that all ilx comprehends
― flaneur brayin (darraghmac), Saturday, 18 August 2018 08:19 (three years ago) link
blabbermouth who spills secrets to russians still has security clearance
― slugbuggy, Saturday, 18 August 2018 09:06 (three years ago) link
Leeds United fans celebrate Premier League return in style
― anvil, Saturday, 18 August 2018 09:14 (three years ago) link
painful bowel movement releases writhing mass of razor-toothed worms― bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 26 February 2015 10:46 (three years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
― bizarro gazzara, Thursday, 26 February 2015 10:46 (three years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
still occasionally think about this one
― ghost beef (bizarro gazzara), Saturday, 18 August 2018 09:15 (three years ago) link
― slugbuggy, Saturday, August 18, 2018 10:06 AM (twenty minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
& can arbitrarily pull the clearance of people who were using it legitimately, seemingly without immediate consequences.
O, even more so, the total lack of oversight repercussions to the acts of a maniac.
― Stevolende, Saturday, 18 August 2018 09:29 (three years ago) link
clearly not ten words
― flaneur brayin (darraghmac), Saturday, 18 August 2018 09:31 (three years ago) link
There was a good one in the back of Eno's Diary book that I was rereading, in an appendix called Unthinkable Futures.
People of different astrological signs wage war with each other.
― MaresNest, Saturday, 18 August 2018 10:34 (three years ago) link
Bono - Morrissey collaboration
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Saturday, 18 August 2018 13:08 (three years ago) link
socialism and anarchism found willing ears into which to pour
― reggie (qualmsley), Saturday, 18 August 2018 20:51 (three years ago) link
imagoPosted: August 18, 2018 at 1:47:44 PMbirdwatching and experimental writing crew that meets for afternoon tea
― F# A# (∞), Saturday, 18 August 2018 20:54 (three years ago) link
you clearly ordered the wrong thing
― a roomba of one's own (rip van wanko), Saturday, 18 August 2018 21:12 (three years ago) link
Guy Fieri, US Secretary of Flavor
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:20 (three years ago) link
Contagious scaly butt warts
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:23 (three years ago) link
The Beatles featuring Adam Levine
― fuck the NRA (Neanderthal), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:25 (three years ago) link
Misread that as 'The Beatles fucking Adam Levine'. I assume that also counts as an entry itt.
― Goody Rickels on the Dime (Old Lunch), Monday, 18 March 2019 17:27 (three years ago) link
Compulsory gyro-based autophagia. And you're all out of tzatziki.
― McGrief the Crying Dog (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 19:13 (two years ago) link
Tears that smell like doodoo
― FUCK YOUR POTATO (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 27 August 2019 19:20 (two years ago) link
water slide gets progressively smaller, you become wedged, dying slowly
― boobie, Tuesday, 27 August 2019 19:57 (two years ago) link
2020
― LaRusso Auto (Neanderthal), Sunday, 27 September 2020 01:37 (one year ago) link
haunting. even knowing I don't have any.
― swing out sister: live in new donk city (geoffreyess), Sunday, 27 September 2020 04:23 (one year ago) link
Rolling Stone lists the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.
― Deflatormouse, Sunday, 27 September 2020 06:54 (one year ago) link
Dying just restarts your life DVD
― LaRusso Auto (Neanderthal), Sunday, 27 September 2020 07:17 (one year ago) link
xp :D <3 :D
― Mille scampeaux (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 27 September 2020 10:02 (one year ago) link
the world today ... and tomorrow
― Stevolende, Sunday, 27 September 2020 10:18 (one year ago) link
white privileged theatre group tackle racism
― Stevolende, Sunday, 27 September 2020 10:19 (one year ago) link
your life has always been narrated by larry king
― Karl Malone, Sunday, 27 September 2020 15:53 (one year ago) link
(^a very personal message from Mr. Karl Malone)
also:
you dream you're a butterfly. waken as a butterfly. it sucks.
― the unappreciated charisma of cows (Aimless), Sunday, 27 September 2020 19:05 (one year ago) link
iPad stations being prepared for virtual ICU end-of-life visits
― You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Thursday, 3 December 2020 19:55 (one year ago) link
Lloris gets injured after January, that’s the season done.
― Scampo di tutti i Scampi (ShariVari),
― spruce springclean (darraghmac), Thursday, 3 December 2020 20:09 (one year ago) link
antibiotics don't seem to be working, how's your roommate feeling?
― the serious avant-garde universalist right now (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 3 December 2020 20:19 (one year ago) link
your taint appears on MS Teams in Executive meeting
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Thursday, 3 December 2020 20:23 (one year ago) link
instinctively knowing how to handle that situation (zoom in)
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 3 December 2020 20:26 (one year ago) link
Giuliani sponge bath
― Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 9 December 2020 05:39 (one year ago) link
zooming in on Giuliani spongebathing, trying to prove something
― Karl Malone, Wednesday, 9 December 2020 05:45 (one year ago) link
Giuliani handkerchief bath
― You will notice a small sink where your sofa once was. (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 9 December 2020 12:12 (one year ago) link
white pseudoliberal writes play on ethnicity
― Stevolende, Wednesday, 9 December 2020 12:28 (one year ago) link
Starland Vocal Band, house band in Hell
― Slowzy LOLtidore (Neanderthal), Monday, 20 June 2022 15:33 (one week ago) link