worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

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Gringo Sushi
We developed the "Gringo Sushi" for those that aren't quite ready or sure about "Sushi Maki", with its "raw fish and seaweed". Gringo Sushi is rolled with rice paper and filled with anything from BBQ Brisket to Cajun Chicken.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95 13
Kemosabe Roll $6.95 6
Texas Club $6.95 4
NEW! Hidden Chicken Roll $7.95 4
Morgan’s Earthy Crunchy Roll $6.95 3
Big Bird on Fire $6.95 2
Jackass Roll $6.95 2
Kamikaze Kowboy Roll $6.95 1


2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:44 (twelve years ago) link

Texas Club $6.95
Cajun chicken, bacon, romaine lettuce, tomatoes, & Caesar dressing wrapped in sushi rice with tapioca paper.

NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95
Roasted turkey, jalapenos, pepper jack, avocados, green onions, mayonnaise and sriracha mayonnaise wrapped in sushi rice and tapioca paper. First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Kemosabe Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, BBQ beef brisket, french fries, crispy onions & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

Big Bird on Fire $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, blackened chicken, french fries & a sweet chili sauce.

Jackass Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, BBQ pork, french fries & a garlic chili mayo sauce.

NEW! Hidden Chicken Roll $7.95
Grilled marinated teriyaki chicken, wrapped with avocado, mandarin oranges, crushed wontons and lettuce in tapioca paper. Served with a teriyaki dipping sauce.

Morgan’s Earthy Crunchy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, crunchy tempura bits, avocado, cucumber, julienne vegetables, daikon sprouts served with a ponzu dipping sauce.

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, tempura chicken & eel sauce.

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:44 (twelve years ago) link

off topic but: i decided that the worst way to wake up in the morning would be to have this guy come into your room yelling at you, screaming about barbecue sauce

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (twelve years ago) link

First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.

Winner!

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (twelve years ago) link

kemosabe roll -- aka brisket sushi

http://www.cuisinecapers.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/P42100441.JPG

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:45 (twelve years ago) link

killer thread!

voted kemosabe

goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:46 (twelve years ago) link

jesus christ

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (twelve years ago) link

where is the "fuck you, guy fieri" poll option

STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (twelve years ago) link

i didn't notice the name of the only one that looked remotely palatable--oh lol it's the "earthy crunchy" roll

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:47 (twelve years ago) link

Big Bird On Fire couldn't be worse if it actually was Big Bird, on fire

Ismael Klata, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:48 (twelve years ago) link

i voted for NEW! Screaming Gobbler $7.95 tbh -- turkey, pepper jack cheese AND SUSHI RICE

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:48 (twelve years ago) link

o jesus

just sayin, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (twelve years ago) link

voted hidden chicken cause i don't dig orange w/savory dishes, but am starving and would gobble up all the other ones and then scream. I might have the order of that reversed.

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (twelve years ago) link

*BARFS*

robert bly is mrs. doubtfire? (Matt P), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:49 (twelve years ago) link

Kamikaze Kowboy Roll

semi-surprised he left "Krunchy" off the front of this

STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (twelve years ago) link

i love how this sentence loses absolutely none of its meaning if you write it like this

We developed the "Gringo Sushi" for those that aren't quite ready or sure about "Sushi Maki", with its "gay raw fish and seaweed, which is what fags eat"

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (twelve years ago) link

hey guys i'm going to post the names of some other items at this establishment

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:50 (twelve years ago) link

Koi Fish Tacos – (just kidding!) $6.95

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (twelve years ago) link

hahaha

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (twelve years ago) link

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places? "oh this is just too healthy, americans won't eat it. deep fry some shit quick"??

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (twelve years ago) link

Eddie’s Mommy (Eda-Mame) $4.25

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:51 (twelve years ago) link

Tootsie Roll $9.95
A tempura battered roll with smoked salmon, cream cheese, togarashi (chili powder), green onion, & eel sauce drizzled over the top.

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (twelve years ago) link

what is with tempura being involved in ~70% of sushi rolls at most places?

????

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (twelve years ago) link

never seen tempura in a sushi roll

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:52 (twelve years ago) link

Jumpin’ Jack Fish Roll $11.95
w/ cream cheese, pepper jack cheese, jalapeño, togarashi, green onion, hamachi, and eel sauce.

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (twelve years ago) link

jesus fucking christ

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (twelve years ago) link

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

2 guys 1 jag (J0rdan S.), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:53 (twelve years ago) link

NEW! Wonton Wonderland $6.25
3 flash fried wontons, dredged in cinnamon sugar, with vanilla ice cream between layers. Topped with raspberry, white chocolate, chocolate and caramel sauces finished with whipped cream and dusted with powdered sugar.

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.texwasabis.com/images/index_11.jpg
SURFS UP FAGS!!!
http://www.texwasabis.com/images/index_13.jpg

goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (twelve years ago) link

i'm serious -- pepper jack cheese and sushi is literally the most disgusting thing that someone has ever thought of -- not even just in the realm of food

now add cream cheese to that

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:54 (twelve years ago) link

I am amazed he kept from throwing bacon onto this shit.

STAY ALIVE USING EQUIPMENT (HI DERE), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:55 (twelve years ago) link

I envy you, Mr Que. It's an epidemic in these parts.

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:56 (twelve years ago) link

"california style sushi"

✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (twelve years ago) link

Welcome to the world headquarters for our exclusive line of Tex Wasabi/Johnny Garlics merchandise and our very popular gift cards. While our on-line catalog is being shot in exotic locations with screaming hot models, jump in the pool now and make gift giving simple, affordable, and a guaranteed hit with…Gift Cards! Your “Guy Fieri Signature” gift card can be used for anything we offer guests in any of our restaurants in Sonoma County, Sacramento, and Roseville. Buy them in packs so you always have one on hand for anniversary’s, birthdays, special soccer parties, bridal showers, or for those emergencies when cooking for the family is “not an option!” Give them away or use them yourself…but don’t be caught without one!

Please note that after you order your gift cards, delivery will be complete in 7-10 business days. If you live near one of our restaurants, feel free to stop in and buy them there so you have them when you want them….now!

As soon as our models shake the sand out of their clothes we will be able to publish our on-line catalog. Just click here so you can bookmark this page and check back. It will blow you away!

goole, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (twelve years ago) link

fuckin' america.

circa1916, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:57 (twelve years ago) link

sooo meta: countryfied texas-style california-style sushi

✌.✰|ʘ‿ʘ|✰.✌ (Steve Shasta), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:58 (twelve years ago) link

seriously! even the name Tex Wasabi's is blowing my mind

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 20:58 (twelve years ago) link

Thought of kemosabe roll makes me physically ill.

a cross between lily allen and fetal alcohol syndrome (milo z), Friday, 2 April 2010 20:59 (twelve years ago) link

half-expected one of these to literally just be shit wrapped in rice

Kaleidoscope Funk Network (Shakey Mo Collier), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:00 (twelve years ago) link

sushi with an attitude!

gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:01 (twelve years ago) link

gahhhh i'm searching so hard for the achewood strip with the mexican chain restaurant, because it is basically this

call all destroyer, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:01 (twelve years ago) link

aw

gelatinous rube (brownie), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:02 (twelve years ago) link

Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]
Guy's look, which he describes as "kulinary gangsta",[7]

hope this helps (Granny Dainger), Friday, 2 April 2010 21:05 (twelve years ago) link

i love how Ray's all into it

Mr. Que, Friday, 2 April 2010 21:05 (twelve years ago) link

We talked to Trump voters

assert (MatthewK), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 20:15 (one year ago) link

xpost Val looks older than Sammy now

Seriously, Hagar appears to be turning into ALF.

Pinche Cumbion Bien Loco (stevie), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 22:06 (one year ago) link

Hagar: "well I do eat a lot of cats... IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!!! and by that I mean pussies!!! as in, I go down on a lot of women even though I'm 72!!! yowwwww!" *takes eleventh shot of tequila in two hours*

the burrito that defined a generation, Tuesday, 23 June 2020 22:14 (one year ago) link

the Guyliners

seriously what is up with that

j., Tuesday, 23 June 2020 22:18 (one year ago) link

holy fuck Carrot Top is 55, I woulda guessed 70

assert (MatthewK), Wednesday, 24 June 2020 00:06 (one year ago) link

Last Exit to Flavortown

https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/flavortown-ohio-thousands-want-columbus-124315609.html

earlnash, Wednesday, 24 June 2020 01:25 (one year ago) link

five months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8kUZbaHKKc

Change Display Name: (stevie), Thursday, 10 December 2020 13:41 (one year ago) link

That is a great story but... I've eaten at Fieri's restaurant in Vegas and it was godawful

DJP, Thursday, 10 December 2020 14:55 (one year ago) link

ha his description of Fieri as some kind of Adonis (6'5"?)

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 10 December 2020 15:03 (one year ago) link

Yeah I was like... you are grossly undercutting your story by showing the picture you took of yourself with Guy towering over him

Also:

maybe we can get Guy's restaurant to give us a drink with a falafel garnish

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:01 PM bookmarkflaglink

I actually did this myself during my quarantine home cocktail adventures

DJP, Thursday, 10 December 2020 15:12 (one year ago) link

I cannot begin to imagine what that would look like

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 10 December 2020 15:24 (one year ago) link

This was the recipe:

3 oz rye
1 oz sweet vermouth
juice from 1/4 lemon
1 clove garlic, roughly chopped
1 tsp tahini
salt and pepper

Muddle tahini, garlic, salt, pepper, and lemon juice in a shaker. Add rye and sweet vermouth and shake vigorously for 1 minute. Serve over ice and garnish with a falafel.

DJP, Thursday, 10 December 2020 15:29 (one year ago) link

that actually sounds outstanding until the floating a fried bolus of chickpeas part

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 10 December 2020 15:32 (one year ago) link

wait i thought guy was short? this is turning my world upside-down

superdeep borehole (harbl), Thursday, 10 December 2020 16:24 (one year ago) link

yeah, I pictured him about five and half foot-longs tall

a certain derecho (brownie), Thursday, 10 December 2020 17:52 (one year ago) link

He grew up in Humboldt County CA, across the river from myself. But his name was Guy Ferry, he changed it to sound more ethnic.
I remember him selling pretzels at the fair.

Andy the Grasshopper, Thursday, 10 December 2020 17:57 (one year ago) link

guy fieri is average height. not tall or short

Babby's Yed Revisited (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 10 December 2020 17:58 (one year ago) link

He grew up in Humboldt County CA, across the river from myself. But his name was Guy Ferry, he changed it to sound more ethnic.
I remember him selling pretzels at the fair.

― Andy the Grasshopper, Thursday, December 10, 2020 9:57 AM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

he changed it back to the original family name that had been anglicized. respect to an Italianx king

Babby's Yed Revisited (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 10 December 2020 17:59 (one year ago) link

I thought he was Bryan Ferry's meatball brother?

Patriotic Goiter (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 10 December 2020 18:01 (one year ago) link

Or maybe just having the last name of "Ferry" is difficult in high school.

Andy the Grasshopper, Thursday, 10 December 2020 18:02 (one year ago) link

He's largely a tool but I do respect his help to the firefighters & folks who the CA fires have displaced. My cousin is a firefighter and Guy bought him two cans of chewing tobacco at the gas station.

Andy the Grasshopper, Thursday, 10 December 2020 18:08 (one year ago) link

Gas Station Chewing Tobacco sounds like a righteous appetizer

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 10 December 2020 18:10 (one year ago) link

especially if you order Amoco Cheez Chili Dog as a main course.

Patriotic Goiter (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 10 December 2020 18:12 (one year ago) link

Diners, Dives & Fueling Stations, Season 3

Andy the Grasshopper, Thursday, 10 December 2020 18:13 (one year ago) link

i'd eat that off a flip-flop!

superdeep borehole (harbl), Thursday, 10 December 2020 18:20 (one year ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/CivWZC2.gif

DJP, Thursday, 10 December 2020 18:21 (one year ago) link

whoa not okay

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 10 December 2020 18:23 (one year ago) link

Not as disturbing as the eating in reverse video tbh

I want to change my display name (dan m), Thursday, 10 December 2020 20:23 (one year ago) link

is eating in reverse butt-chugging

Lover of Nixon (or LON for short) (Neanderthal), Thursday, 10 December 2020 23:03 (one year ago) link

butt-chugging did make for an entertaining Martin Amis novel

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 10 December 2020 23:08 (one year ago) link

Dan you have just undermined twenty years of excellent contribution to this borad

cerebral halsey (rip van wanko), Thursday, 10 December 2020 23:12 (one year ago) link

Did Martin Amis write The Human Centipede?

Andy the Grasshopper, Thursday, 10 December 2020 23:15 (one year ago) link

I mean the video is upthread, I'm nearly certain

I want to change my display name (dan m), Friday, 11 December 2020 00:00 (one year ago) link

But thx

underminer of twenty years of excellent contribution to this borad (dan m), Friday, 11 December 2020 00:01 (one year ago) link

eleven months pass...

lol I read that yesterday and was howling. the pictures were the best

hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Friday, 10 December 2021 04:06 (five months ago) link

omg the lips are going to haunt my memory. one of the creepiest dishes

hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Friday, 10 December 2021 04:12 (five months ago) link

The meal sounds terrible, but a couple observations:

1. Why would you go to Italy and eat in a restaurant like this?
2. Going to a tasting menu in a foreign country and asking for a bunch of changes to accommodate your dietary restrictions is something, for sure.
3. They should have served that dude's hair as a course.

ma dmac's fury road (PBKR), Friday, 10 December 2021 13:12 (five months ago) link

1. For the clicks
2. Quite.
3. Coulda fooled me that they didn’t

When Young Sheldon began to rap (forksclovetofu), Friday, 10 December 2021 13:42 (five months ago) link

Smiled at seeing the Snoqualmie Lodge called out in the Bros article's comments. Haven't ever been there for dinner, but thought the pampering spa/hotel environment, adjacent Snoqualmie Falls, Twin Peaks association, and the pancake breakfasts are the main draw. One of the Trip Advisor reviews gives it one star for "filet minion" left unfinished, lol.

the body of a spider... (scampering alpaca), Friday, 10 December 2021 13:48 (five months ago) link

Best food writing 2021 for sure. I guess this is what happens when one of these baby Alineas hits the COVID skids?

change display name (Jordan), Friday, 10 December 2021 16:03 (five months ago) link

Chef responds in very on-brand way:

EVERYONE, THE CHEF FROM BROS REPLIED TO MY REVIEW AND IT IS JUST AS RIDICULOUS AS YOU WOULD HAVE HOPED AND I AM SCREAMING WITH JOY.https://t.co/XHzrUhS7Gz

— Geraldine (@everywhereist) December 10, 2021

DJI, Friday, 10 December 2021 16:14 (five months ago) link

Foam is so '00s, even the places that used to do it have toned it down.

A Pile of Ants (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 10 December 2021 16:22 (five months ago) link

Also, the Michelin guide sucks bad.

A Pile of Ants (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 10 December 2021 16:23 (five months ago) link

wasn't Michelin-rated, but nothing made me laugh more than the time Gordon Ramsey on the UK version of Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares, went to this restaurant that had won local awards and was exasperated by the shitty dishes concocted (including salmon and strawberries).

hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Friday, 10 December 2021 16:26 (five months ago) link

Also, savory ice creams have been all over modernist menus for 20 years. Get with the program.

ma dmac's fury road (PBKR), Friday, 10 December 2021 17:55 (five months ago) link

what about ice cream that smells like belly button lint

hopefully this review helped someone (Neanderthal), Friday, 10 December 2021 21:03 (five months ago) link

two months pass...

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