How am I going to stay sane for the next 3 months?

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I'm stuck in Rye until university starts again in September. There's nothing here, I don't know anyone, the nearest half decent town is 16 miles away, trains/buses are stupidly expensive and rare and hardly worth the effort, I completely forgot/didn't get a chance to get phone numbers for a lot of the people I knew at university, and my parents are, well, doing my head in.

― Graham, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Anyone have a spare room?

― Graham, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You cld visit Henry James' house approx 90 times.

― Andrew L, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

you could ride on the Romney, Hythe and Dymchurch miniature railway

― michael, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

a) go to london for the summer (as ronan is doing)
b) go to europe for the summer
c) go to new york.

― gareth, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You could hijack nuclear fuel/waste trains on their way to/from Dungeness.

― Caitlin, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

You could allow everone on here to make decisions for you? You might end up having waccy adventures. Or being arrested, but at least it would help while away those hours.

― Dave, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Aso I am poor.

― Graham, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

=also

― Graham, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Three months of taking it easy and reading lots of books (I imagine Rye has a library?) by the sea and having the opportunity to chow down on lots of very fresh fish sounds pretty good to me.

Also lots of very fine old churches in the Rye area as I recall.

Alternatively, set up a weblog. Then, magically, you will run out of spare time.

― Tim, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

write a wurtzel-like book about how you became addicted to masturbating and spent three mopnths ripping the peeling skin off your vans def until it erupted in putresecent pusballs = bestsellah!

― Queen Don't you point those squiggly things at G, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Try eating cheese.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hibernate.

― DG, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

what Tim said. use it as an opportunity to refresh body and mind by going for lots of long walks, getting lots of fresh air and reading lots of lovely books. and also, haven't you got homework to do? ;)

― katie, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Cor blimey I don't recommend long walks or fresh air. Taking it easy, I said.

― Tim, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

TIM H IS OTM.

― the pinefox, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

hmph then you agoraphobics, take up yoga!

― katie, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Yoga schmoga. Become an expert on local public houses.

― Tim, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Three months of taking it easy

See "parents doing head in"

and reading lots of books (I imagine Rye has a library?)

It may do

by the sea

Rye isn't by the sea. Near the sea, maybe.

and having the opportunity to chow down on lots of very fresh fish.

Me = vege

Also lots of very fine old churches in the Rye area as I recall.BROING. me = teenager

― Sorry, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

do you have a laptop or a desktop? if the former, i suggest getting out of the house to somewhere scenic, downloading a copy of Fruity Loops and a bunch of free sound samples and going mad.

― Dave M., Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Go to Camber and tell me what it's like sans two and a half thousand noisy smelly drunk people. Much the same I would imagine, actually...

Go to the beach. Fly a kite. Look at the coathanger tree!

― Ally C, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

write a guide book for studes about going home and having nothing to do or fill in every single online/newspaper/teletext /radio/magazine competition you can - someone i know in work does this and has won a holiday every year the last 3 years.

so very very few people enter the stupid things you're bound to win something.

― piscesboy, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

BROING. me = teenager

I suggest you practice face-pulling and behaving in an irritating and mardy way, then.

― Tim, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Catch up on your life's work.

― Little Nipper, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Spend all day on ILX.

― Tim Bateman, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Spend all day on ILX trying to get everyone else to come up with the excuses you'll give your tutors for not doing any homework for three months.

― Tim Bateman, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, and I'm not meant to use the phone during the day.

― Graham, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

BROING.

You could continue to make noises like a wound-up spring going off.

― Dan Perry, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I could send you another ridiculous CD if it'd help.

― Helpful Arthur, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

learn a new language.

― jel --, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ooh God, I haven't emailed you back yet. sorry. sorry. sorry.

― BA-DOYNG, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Do you mean me? No hurry. Your "I'll e-mail you when I stop laughing" comment on some other thread will suffice. They were supposed to cheer you up and it appears they did!

― Oi'll Give i, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

The backing's good but the beat's kroomeh.

― Oi'll Give It Foive, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Visit the locations of Malcolm Saville and Monica Edwards books, something I've always rather wanted to do. http://www.witchend.demon.co.uk and http://www.punchbowl.freeuk.com should give you a few clues.

― post-war children's literature enthusiast, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

1 - Big Brother

2 - Instant Messages

― Chupa-Cabras, Monday, 24 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i've been in this kind of situation before. my answer = obvious, but it worked for me: self-improvement! i ended up spending the summer reading fuckloads of books and exercising lots = i came back to university in september feeling v gd about myself = result.

― toby, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

London would be the answer, although you'll end up doing a shit job, for very little money and living with antipodeans.

― Ed, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

It's true, it's so true.

― Ronan, Tuesday, 25 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

living with antipodeans

with 21 yrs experience in this field, i don't recommend it.

― petra jane, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Tell me more about this "London" thing (I can't find Ronan's thread about it).

― Graham, Wednesday, 26 June 2002 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

two months pass...

So I failed.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:18 (twenty-three years ago)

graham, at least those 3 months are now over, and you can go to manchester and escape. (if it is any consolation graham, the last 3 months of my life have been the hardest, and it may decline before it improves)

― gareth (gareth), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:22 (twenty-three years ago)

at least you don't have this STUPID JOB. i'm giving it another 3 months, it's doing my freakin head in....

― katie (katie), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:30 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't want to go back to Manchester.

Fuck off Gareth.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:31 (twenty-three years ago)

That was totally uncalled for.

My job also = minus minus. I realise a lot of this is my own fault for not applying for enough other jobs though!

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Graham - stop telling people to fuck off.

(Insert most obvious ILE post evah here:)

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:36 (twenty-three years ago)

why do you keep telling everyone to fuck off graham?

― katie (katie), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Because they hate me anyway.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Graham = a million times harder on the internet than in real life.

― chris (chris), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:41 (twenty-three years ago)

Graham for crying out loud! Stop being so bloody paraniod. Gareth was trying to be nice to you there. Getting on with people is a two-way thing.

― Anna, Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Graham, chill - maybe Gareth presumed you liked living in Manchester compared to smalltownsville nothing happening Rye?

― DJ Martian (djmartian), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:45 (twenty-three years ago)

No one takes any notice of this two way thing when I do it.

It was him saying he's had it hard. Fuck off.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:49 (twenty-three years ago)

right, i've had it. i came here for RESPITE from the bloody stupid job, not to see even more stupid petty squabbles and rubbishness. BYE.

― katie (katie), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Seconded what Katie said.

(Gareth I know I owe you an email, I'm not ignoring you! Graham I also owe you an email but quite frankly I don't know if I even want to write it to you now).

― Sarah (starry), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Graham with all due respect, I know you're not very happy at the moment, but attacking Gareth when he was trying to show some kind of empathy is not the way to go. Also you don't (and neither do I) know the full details of his life. It's unfair and presumptious to assume that your problems are much, much worse than anybody else's.

― Anna, Tuesday, 3 September 2002 12:57 (twenty-three years ago)

I know Gareth was only trying to be helpful but I've seen he has absolutely no problem with what I'm miserable about so it felt like a total kick in the teeth.

And if people noticed me any other time I wouldn't have any urge to be hostile.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 13:11 (twenty-three years ago)

I know you hate the phrase, but we're right back at telepathy again Graham: you are demanding that people understand what's going on in your head without actually being prepared to tell them.

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 13:21 (twenty-three years ago)

Alright then. I have never had real friends, ever, and no I did not tell them all to fuck off. I have spent the last few years trying my hardest to be kind and caring and nice and funny and interesting to everyone and have got absolutely nowhere, and I am just *exhausted*. And I've spent the last three months trying to figure out whether I'll be able to have any kind of reciprocated relationship with anybody and I know telling people to fuck off is not constructive to that but I'm sick of being totally unappreciated as a person so maybe I wanted people to appreciate me more when I am being nice or something. I really don't know. I'm miserable and crying and desperately lonely here and all I want is a fucking email or a call.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 13:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Can I transfer that to a new thread, Graham, or d'you want to? There will be other people on ILx who had this problem and worked their way out of it, or maybe who have it still and can talk through it.

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 13:48 (twenty-three years ago)

If you like.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 13:50 (twenty-three years ago)

If you feel unappreciated Graham may I direct you to this thread Give It Up For Graham

And if you want to stay sane trying to work out whether or not you can have reciprocated relationships is certainly not the way to do it. Over self analysis can just magnify the problems, making those random pointless chats which are the start of a relationship more and more difficult to have. I am not really sure what you mean by a reciprocated relationship but as Mark sez above - its not very fair to chastiXor people if they don't know what they have supposedly done wrong.

You can certainly go back to University a changed man. You don't have to hang around with the people you did last year, you don't have to do what you did last year. Find a decent college society that you are interested in, offer your services work-wise, get a job - maybe you need enforced sociability for a while.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 13:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Graham, one of the hardest lessons to learn in life is that people will NEVER appreciate you as much as you think they should. I can't think of a single relationship between any two people I know (myself included) where both parties don't feel underappreciated on some level.

You might want to look at what you consider to be a "real friend". It could be that you're expecting too much from people (my wife has this issue all the time). Another point is that trying hard rarely ever works; in fact, the vast majority of the people I'm friends with now are people who I didn't spend tons of time trying to impress. The only thing advice I can offer is to do your own thing and screw bending over backwards trying to make people like you, because all it will do is depress you.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 13:59 (twenty-three years ago)

ok i started a new thread, so maybe flip over to there also

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 14:02 (twenty-three years ago)

maybe you need enforced sociability for a while

Just what I was going to say. Taking a break from the virtual life might be the best thing, and everything else Ptee said.

The irony of course is that we do appreciate all that you've done for us as a community (see other thread) -- but your verbal/written attempts to connect with individuals on the board have been way too abrasive to say the least -- certainly not the sort of thing that IRL would be at all acceptable, or likely to help you make any sort of friendly contact with other people.

― Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 14:06 (twenty-three years ago)

I was trying my best Alan. I don't understand.

― Graham (graham), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 14:09 (twenty-three years ago)

The recent exchanges haven't really been your best though. Do you believe they are? There was certainly a time when you weren't telling people to fuck off quite so regularly. you've been quite rude to a number of people recently - and perhaps cos it's just ASCII characters on a screen you judge it to be a sort of "matey rudeness" and of a lesser impact, than if you'd said them IRL.

This is why I agreed with the enforced sociability thing -- to my mind you might find it beneficial to socialise your responses to real people some more, as the feedback and quirks of personal intercourse just don't exist on line, and perhaps you are learning some bad lessons on-line because of the non-existent cues.

You are a clever and talented person with many interests and much enthusiasm -- anyone fitting that description will always be able to make friends.

― Alan (Alan), Tuesday, 3 September 2002 14:17 (twenty-three years ago)

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