Ask Rufus (Maria & Scott's 7-year-old)

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hi im rufus and my dad set up an ilx account. and i saw a parlophone label test copy of beatles rubber soul for $86.77 on ebay.

p.s. how much do you think a mint copy of hey jude could sell for?

rufusmagufus, Saturday, 21 November 2009 00:46 (ten years ago) link

dear rufus,

what is it like being the youngest ilxor ever?



p.s. like $300 maybe

a used up cumrag who now plays NFL for the Bengals (acoleuthic), Saturday, 21 November 2009 00:48 (ten years ago) link

hey rufus what is your favorite band?

I don't know if it's just the smurfiness of it or what (M@tt He1ges0n), Saturday, 21 November 2009 00:50 (ten years ago) link

lj, that display name in this context...

jØrdån (omar little), Saturday, 21 November 2009 00:50 (ten years ago) link

(also welcome! your parents are awesome so you probably are too)

welcome new ilxors (acoleuthic), Saturday, 21 November 2009 00:50 (ten years ago) link

(can a mod edit that)

welcome new ilxors (acoleuthic), Saturday, 21 November 2009 00:51 (ten years ago) link

what's the most valubal beatles record?
my fave band has to be beatle's.And it's weird being the youngest.gotta go.

rufusmagufus, Saturday, 21 November 2009 00:58 (ten years ago) link

Hey Rufus! Hello from Belgium! It's between 6 and 9 hours later here than where you are, so slaapwel! (ask your mother if I just insulted you or not) :-)

StanM, Saturday, 21 November 2009 01:25 (ten years ago) link

No worries about that display name BTW. Tonight Rufus and Cyrus performed with the Cave Bears at our record store. Maybe the Zebu guy will put it on Youtube. Now they're sleeping - almost 3 hours later than usual.

A question for the morning: Hey Rufus, what would a toenail do on a doorknob if it were spinning and asked a cow te llammmooooo?

Maria :D, Saturday, 21 November 2009 04:12 (ten years ago) link

I was thinking 'hey, he's up really late!'

tehresa, Saturday, 21 November 2009 04:16 (ten years ago) link

Rufus, embrace lollypops. That's what you have to do. Every day. Or the leg fairy will come and steal the hair on your legs.

Nathalie (stevienixed), Saturday, 21 November 2009 18:38 (ten years ago) link

Hey rufus, have you ever drawn any comics or cool pictures? If so, I'd really like to see them!

mascara and ties (Abbott), Saturday, 21 November 2009 20:38 (ten years ago) link

Also, rufus: what do you think I should make for Thanksgiving dinner? Do you have any favorite items or desserts? Not that you'd get to be around to eat them. ;_;

mascara and ties (Abbott), Saturday, 21 November 2009 20:39 (ten years ago) link

hey rufus, what do you want to be in the future? when i was your age i wanted to be a taxi driver

a hoy hoy, Saturday, 21 November 2009 20:44 (ten years ago) link

rufus what are the "in" cereals that 7-year-olds find "cool" to eat this day and age

iiiijjjj, Saturday, 21 November 2009 21:01 (ten years ago) link

rufus what is your "personal style" and how will you monetize it

how fast can you text

johnny crunch, Saturday, 21 November 2009 21:35 (ten years ago) link

yes i've done some cool comic's. for instance I did a comic called the hangover overhang.and I do have some fave deserts.espesuly bluberry pie.when Im an adult I want to be a guy who sells and trades of my fave cereals has to be oatmeal persanal style has to be whatever my family gets me.

rufusmagufus, Saturday, 21 November 2009 23:05 (ten years ago) link

What's the hangover overhang about? Also you should watch this tv show called Antique Roadshow, you'd love it.

big darn deal (Z S), Saturday, 21 November 2009 23:11 (ten years ago) link

my persanal style has to be whatever my family gets me.

^feeling u on this.

DAN P3RRY MAD AT GRANDMA (just1n3), Sunday, 22 November 2009 01:08 (ten years ago) link

Rufus, what's your favorite way to annoy grownups? Can you teach me it?

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 22 November 2009 01:42 (ten years ago) link

Rufus what are you looking forward to most in the future? (Near future or distant future)

I see what this is (Local Garda), Sunday, 22 November 2009 01:43 (ten years ago) link

rufus, the beatles are for sure the best band ever. what is your favorite beatles' album that you've heard so far?

kamerad, Sunday, 22 November 2009 02:21 (ten years ago) link

i fart a lot. is this good or bad?

luol deng (am0n), Sunday, 22 November 2009 03:52 (ten years ago) link

So Rufus is actually still 6 for another couple of weeks. Rufus, what do you want for your 7th birthday?

Maria :D, Sunday, 22 November 2009 04:10 (ten years ago) link

haha i hope to only communicate w/ any future kids i have thru ilx

johnny crunch, Sunday, 22 November 2009 04:16 (ten years ago) link

We don't like to make sound. I can't wait until Cyrus can read so I can communicate with him.

Maria :D, Sunday, 22 November 2009 04:17 (ten years ago) link

rufus, have you ever listened to ruphus?

kamerad, Sunday, 22 November 2009 04:47 (ten years ago) link

Maria :D, Sunday, 22 November 2009 05:28 (ten years ago) link

The peanut butter song at the beginning is awesome.

& other try hard shitfests (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Sunday, 22 November 2009 05:30 (ten years ago) link

My dad dealt in antiques. Shall I hook you up.

So how is school? Still boring? don't believe your teachers!

Nathalie (stevienixed), Sunday, 22 November 2009 12:28 (ten years ago) link

I do like antique roadshow. the hangover overhang is about a guy whos haning on to the roof of a house and he falls off of it and his head falls off right next to a bottle of beer he drinks more beer and the doctor is a heghog. if you really want to ahnoy adalts screaming always works. in my distant future i'm looking forward to being an adult so I can stay up as long as I fave beatles record has to be beatles 1962 to 1966.if you fart a lot thats I have not ever in my life listend to ruphus.

rufusmagufus, Sunday, 22 November 2009 14:00 (ten years ago) link

Hello Rufus. My name is Mr. Snrub, and I come from... uhhh... some place far far away. (Yes, that will do.)

Mr. Snrub, Sunday, 22 November 2009 14:29 (ten years ago) link

Hi Rufus, do your mum and dad do anything which is really embarassing, silly or gross, or are they really cool?

go in go hard brother (Billy Dods), Sunday, 22 November 2009 14:35 (ten years ago) link

love this thread

I see what this is (Local Garda), Sunday, 22 November 2009 14:42 (ten years ago) link

screaming always works, a lifelong maxim really, best thread ever!

MaresNest, Sunday, 22 November 2009 14:52 (ten years ago) link

Rufus, am I making a mistake in pursuing professor-type girls?

hey it's (jel --), Sunday, 22 November 2009 15:18 (ten years ago) link

rufus, is it cool having your birthday so close to christmas or do you wish they were farther apart in the year?

mookieproof, Sunday, 22 November 2009 16:01 (ten years ago) link

rufus- you can have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do w/ it?

a hoy hoy, Sunday, 22 November 2009 16:07 (ten years ago) link

Rufus, my son is 4. If you could go back to age 4 and do one thing differently, what would it be?

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 22 November 2009 16:32 (ten years ago) link

Rufus, I like TV sometimes. What shows do you like to watch with your whole family and what do you like to watch if they're not around?

sexual alien v. sexual predator (m bison), Sunday, 22 November 2009 17:26 (ten years ago) link

uhhh just realized i pulled an lj re: display name

e honda v. (m bison), Sunday, 22 November 2009 17:28 (ten years ago) link

my parents are mostly you are not wrong persueing perfesser type girls.and its sweet having my b day so close to cristmas.if I had a superpower it would be hotdog vison.i'd use it to make hotdogs.I used to have a show when I was 4 and I only made 1 episode and i wish I could change how boring it was.sometimes I like to watch the simpsons with my family.somtimes I like to watch spongebob alone.

rufusmagufus, Sunday, 22 November 2009 17:43 (ten years ago) link

I relate to you.

bamcquern, Sunday, 22 November 2009 17:44 (ten years ago) link

"it would be hotdog vison.i'd use it to make hotdogs"

great answer!

9-1 never forget (a hoy hoy), Sunday, 22 November 2009 17:45 (ten years ago) link

Rufus, I'll pass your advice on to my son, thanks!

Guayaquil (eephus!), Sunday, 22 November 2009 17:47 (ten years ago) link


Do you follow soccer? I can resommend an up and coming team in the English Premier Division if you're interested.

Louis Cll (darraghmac), Sunday, 22 November 2009 17:54 (ten years ago) link

Rufus, what is your favorite thing to do on a computer?

mascara and ties (Abbott), Sunday, 22 November 2009 19:00 (ten years ago) link

rufus, i would like to hear more about what makes having a birthday near christmas so sweet! i also have a birthday near christmas, and have found it to be quite a hassle.


p.s. is the 1 episode of your 4-year old show available on the internet?

tehresa, Sunday, 22 November 2009 19:50 (ten years ago) link

rufus, fries or chips? this is not a trick question

Nathalie (stevienixed), Sunday, 22 November 2009 19:52 (ten years ago) link

Rufus, hello, it's me again. What is the worst music your mom and dad have ever played to you?

welcome new ilxors (acoleuthic), Sunday, 22 November 2009 22:26 (ten years ago) link

Heh that's the way to do it out there! Sounds like a treat.

Frogbs Day Afternoon (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 27 June 2011 23:57 (nine years ago) link

Rufus do u like Futurama?

Bloompsday (Trayce), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 00:42 (nine years ago) link

rufus! what does the music yr working on sound like?

markers, Tuesday, 28 June 2011 00:46 (nine years ago) link

words that are not rufusmagufus: riffmungous

bamcquern, Tuesday, 28 June 2011 04:01 (nine years ago) link

YES!i LOVE futurama!

rufusmagufus, Saturday, 9 July 2011 11:11 (nine years ago) link

the music we're working on doesn't sound like anything in particular.

rufusmagufus, Saturday, 9 July 2011 11:14 (nine years ago) link


rufusmagufus, Saturday, 9 July 2011 11:18 (nine years ago) link

four months pass...

rufus is turning nine in december. oh how times flies. he's been in new york city with grandpa and cyrus. having lots of fun. which means i want to look at pictures of him.

scott seward, Tuesday, 15 November 2011 00:00 (eight years ago) link

that's from today.

scott seward, Tuesday, 15 November 2011 00:00 (eight years ago) link

rufus is a top bloke.

estela, Tuesday, 15 November 2011 00:01 (eight years ago) link

oh and with grandpa yesterday. posted this on the OWS thread. what can i say? i miss my boys. coming back tomorrow night.

scott seward, Tuesday, 15 November 2011 00:02 (eight years ago) link

yes, he rules

horseshoe, Tuesday, 15 November 2011 00:03 (eight years ago) link

hello,i am your self conshios or am i homer simpson i really never decided.

― rufusmagufus, Thursday, July 29, 2010 3:07 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i looove everything!

― rufusmagufus, Thursday, July 29, 2010 3:09 PM (1 year ago) Bookmark

horseshoe, Tuesday, 15 November 2011 00:03 (eight years ago) link

he's been in new york city

does he fancy a pint?

mookieproof, Tuesday, 15 November 2011 00:03 (eight years ago) link

a pint of ice cream, for sure.

scott seward, Tuesday, 15 November 2011 00:04 (eight years ago) link

that pic from OWS is great, yr kids will treasure that when theyre older

max, Tuesday, 15 November 2011 00:13 (eight years ago) link

two months pass...

Rufus: Not to be too personal on a public (ish) blog, but I want to hear some Can.


johnny crunch, Monday, 23 January 2012 01:19 (eight years ago) link

:D i love everything about this, Scott! I demand a tv show.

Janet Snakehole (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 23 January 2012 01:36 (eight years ago) link

Rufus: You sorta have to strain your eyes to see the disco.


no more mr. nice girls (Abbbottt), Monday, 23 January 2012 02:32 (eight years ago) link

This is totally wonderful, Scott.

Let A Man Come In And Do The Cop Porn (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 23 January 2012 04:24 (eight years ago) link

Rufus is so erudite, I'm p jealous

oneohtrix and park (m bison), Monday, 23 January 2012 04:36 (eight years ago) link

^^ otm and <3 it

future debts collector (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 23 January 2012 07:34 (eight years ago) link

This was really fun! And thanks, Rufus, for my great new screen name!

Hawaiian mime montage (Dan Peterson), Monday, 23 January 2012 16:01 (eight years ago) link

rufus seems really smart & well-spoken for a 12/13 year old

flopson, Monday, 23 January 2012 16:03 (eight years ago) link

two months pass...

Rufus, your dad says you've been watching silent comedy movies. What movies do you think are the funniest?

fun loving and xtremely tolrant (Billy Dods), Thursday, 29 March 2012 07:44 (eight years ago) link

Also, have you seen the freaky, funky silent movie 'MAn with a Movie Camera'? It is ace

Not only dermatologists hate her (James Morrison), Thursday, 29 March 2012 23:55 (eight years ago) link

rufus you are more articulate at 9 than i am at 34.

flesh, the devil, and a wolf (wolf) (amateurist), Friday, 30 March 2012 06:46 (eight years ago) link

two weeks pass...

From: Rufus Seward
Sent: Apr 7, 2012 2:23 PM
To: skotrok

Yo! Wussup?

On Sat, Apr 7, 2012 at 2:42 PM, <skotrok> wrote:

Good evening, Lobster Face. I can only hope that your tentacles are properly tethered so as not to inflict undo pain to the other crustaceans in the tank. You have travelled many millennia to this place in order to extract justice from the jaws of tyranny in the form of cloud-shaped knick-knacks found on the mantel of destiny located under the stairs and beside the winter coats and grandpa's orthopedic cane collection. Use your powers wisely and never forget Tina Turner's words to the children of the Thunderdome: "You can't spell party without the letter P because if you do you just end up swimming in the deep end with arty sharks and arty sharks still owes me fifty bucks so if you see him you tell him i said he's an old so and so and i better not catch him at the tether ball tournament next week, okay?"

And with that I bid you a fond fondue. Your brother fox delta codename charlie, sxuse kot

From: Rufus Seward
Sent: Apr 7, 2012 3:18 PM
To: skotrok
Subject: Re:

Excuse me is this the right adress? Yes, quite. Mr. Sakafoofoo, your mission is simple. I actually never planned for you to have a mission. Make one up for yourself. This will only be a good thing if you DO NOT harm the Super molecular whoosywhat of the universe. The only way you could harm this is if you break the code of hard rocking around the traditional headbanger superfreeze. If this doesn't make sense, then read a book. You're sure to find it...

P.S.: I never inflict undo pain on other crustaceans in the tank.
Fond Fondue, Mr. Sakafoofoo............................................................................................................................What are you looking at?

From: skotrok
Sent: Sat Apr 07 23:21:22 EDT 2012
To: Rufus Seward
Subject: Re:

Monsiour Refeefee, Never before has a fate befallen a fate such as the fate that befell that most befouled of fates, Temptation. T. Tinklepink. As far as we know, the laundery matron who witnessed the attack escaped with her life only through the good graces of that beagle/chow/dachsund mix (a bechodach) Senor Peepers, and had she remained at her post a moment longer, the earth would have split and the clouds would have parted and all holy hell would have erupted inside her laundery cart and we never would have seen hide nor hair of her again. All hail Peepers! The wonder dog of wonder dogs! Three cheers for the marvelous mutt! The one and the only! Hip Hip Hoooooooorah!!!! Yay!!!!!! Peepers Peepers he's our man, if he can't do it nobody can! I mean, it's true isn't it? Who else could do such a thing? Surely not YOU. Not your fault of course. We all have our roles to play.

Chicken breast in the loaf, your man in Panama, Freddy the Fry Cook

From: Rufus Seward
To: skotrok
Subject: Re:
Date: Apr 11, 2012 7:42 PM
Mr. Sakafoofoo, I must say that you have been the only person to make a stand against the extra terrestrial jib jab of "Hollywould". Because of course if you hadn't you would have been the first person to make the statement 'Wussup! Srsly smne shd gt th peple sme rel fd!' Although that statement is barely legible it means as much as a dog peeing in the moonlight to me. (It doesn't mean much to me.) Take my advice clearly or else you will disturb the lobsters in the tank. (I have evolved above them.)

scott seward, Friday, 13 April 2012 18:13 (eight years ago) link


mookieproof, Friday, 13 April 2012 18:23 (eight years ago) link

three months pass...

rush vs yes

which would rufus pick

― the late great, Thursday, July 26, 2012 8:01 PM (41 minutes ago)

mookieproof, Friday, 27 July 2012 00:45 (eight years ago) link


the extra terrestrial jib jab of "Hollywould"

am0n, Friday, 27 July 2012 17:12 (eight years ago) link

four months pass...

Happy tenth birthday dude!

Ned Raggett, Monday, 3 December 2012 03:08 (seven years ago) link

the three of you guys looked like the death metal hanson on facebook :-D

the late great, Monday, 3 December 2012 03:10 (seven years ago) link

four months pass...

rufus wowing his school with his original piano piece this morning.

scott seward, Friday, 5 April 2013 15:18 (seven years ago) link

scott seward, Friday, 5 April 2013 15:19 (seven years ago) link

oops sorry that's twice.

scott seward, Friday, 5 April 2013 15:19 (seven years ago) link

scott seward, Monday, 15 April 2013 23:16 (seven years ago) link


Pope Frank is the messenger of your doom (Tarfumes The Escape Goat), Monday, 15 April 2013 23:20 (seven years ago) link

half an hour on the laptop. I was impressed!

scott seward, Monday, 15 April 2013 23:24 (seven years ago) link

I listened to this half an hour ago and it's still stuck in my head

pssstttt, Hey you (dog latin), Monday, 15 April 2013 23:37 (seven years ago) link

space cowboys...

scott seward, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 02:06 (seven years ago) link


Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 17 April 2013 02:18 (seven years ago) link

two years pass...

poem for school:

I am from the place where loud music fills rooms,
Where science fiction litters tables and shelves,
And raggedy, not-so-stuffed animals comfort even those who shall not pass.
I am from the driveway that I would bike down for hours,
From the baby blue porch, the paint peeling like old wallpaper,
And the miniature ravine behind our house, a new adventure every time.
I am from the neglected planters - filled with mint and basil,
From the small tree to which our dog was chained,
And the ever-expanding grapevine jungle, knotted with weeds and thorns.
I am from my great grandmother Hope’s kindness and wisdom,
From my uncle Jason’s constant joking,
And my aunt Robin’s insightful nature.
I am from “many hands make light work,”
From “a watched pot never boils,”
And “never look a gift horse in the mouth.”
I am from frothy banana smoothies, a “banana blend,” if you will,
From my dad’s vegetable pasta bake, where seconds are expected,
And a genuine Philly cheese steak from my birthplace.
I am from the rustic Green Cabin, and fashioning seaweed wigs,
From Cedar Tree Neck, the trees twisted and inviting,
And the Girl’s Club on the corner, where making lines was almost fun.
I am from raucous Yankee Swaps, fighting over a cashmere scarf,
From fast-paced Easter egg hunts with family and friends,
And the warm Thanksgivings that I hid from, playing Mario Brothers.
I am from the Seat of the Synod, source of vedalken arcana,
From the Temple Garden, and Godless Shrine,
And the Glimmervoid, where an empty canvas holds infinite possibilities.
I am from the chime of a piano, and practicing faster than I should,
From the aroma of garlic bread, fresh out of the oven,
And the din of heavy metal, through my dad’s gargantuan speakers.
I am from the place where loose nails line the treacherous attic floor,
Where memories are as cluttered as the closets that hold them,
And where a disheveled home is just as warm.

scott seward, Thursday, 8 October 2015 17:35 (five years ago) link

rufus, however, is not here to answer questions. he's 12 now, much too busy.

scott seward, Thursday, 8 October 2015 17:36 (five years ago) link

one year passes...

holy crap! teenagers they grow like weeds, how time flies etc

Flamenco Drop (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 2 December 2016 23:44 (three years ago) link

nine months pass...

new EP. i dig it. he played everything and recorded it. Greenfield D.I.Y.

scott seward, Monday, 4 September 2017 00:39 (three years ago) link

three years pass...

the burrito that defined a generation, Saturday, 17 October 2020 23:51 (one week ago) link

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