a poke in the eye for the atlantic
― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 13:33 (eight years ago) link
"it almost looks as though that divebombing bison is doing a nazi salute and hitler moustache combo"
― conrad, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 13:37 (eight years ago) link
"Well, I heard the bull market had taken a dive, but I had no idea an actual bull would climb up a diving board and jump into this swimming pool."
― Vic Perry, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:31 (eight years ago) link
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo cannonball
― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:43 (eight years ago) link
that's good!
― Vic Perry, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:49 (eight years ago) link
"I've heard of buffalo jumps as historical hunting sites, but this is ridiculous."
― jmm, Wednesday, 23 September 2015 15:54 (eight years ago) link
"Cannonbull!"
― Meta Forksclove-Liebeskind (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 17:13 (eight years ago) link
"I'm all for free range, but c'mon!"
― Enter nothing in the dialog and click 'OK' (Øystein), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 17:42 (eight years ago) link
http://suckmydicknewyorker.tumblr.com/
― sʌxihɔːl (Ward Fowler), Wednesday, 23 September 2015 21:52 (eight years ago) link
http://41.media.tumblr.com/7ea8f04bee88a418e1f62d29454ff69b/tumblr_nn4husDSin1qceynno1_1280.jpg
They actually used this?
Wouldn't it be 1000+ entries saying ".. and this is where the magic happens" ?
― Mark G, Friday, 15 January 2016 16:52 (eight years ago) link
"Have you met the other half?"
― bored at work (snoball), Friday, 15 January 2016 17:02 (eight years ago) link
...and i didn't notice there were kids in the back until i was driving away. they haven't set foot outside this room in 25 years.
― Roberto Spiralli, Friday, 15 January 2016 17:16 (eight years ago) link
my desires are...unconventional
"Time for some butt stuff!"
― Very selfish, and very ironic (DJP), Friday, 15 January 2016 17:40 (eight years ago) link
"Are you still sure you don't want to play Magic: The Gathering?"
― EZ Snappin, Friday, 15 January 2016 18:11 (eight years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/160711_contest-690.jpg
― Mark G, Tuesday, 12 July 2016 12:56 (seven years ago) link
"I'm sorry but we've decided not to renew your contract"
― conrad, Tuesday, 12 July 2016 13:20 (seven years ago) link
"look at the naked contempt i have for you, my audience"
― Roberto Spiralli, Tuesday, 12 July 2016 13:23 (seven years ago) link
"Because it wasn't there."
― oculus lump (contenderizer), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 13:31 (seven years ago) link
Something about "clinging to white privilege" but I'm struggling with this one.
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 13:47 (seven years ago) link
"Never better!"
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 13:53 (seven years ago) link
"Shut up, it's working!"
― oculus lump (contenderizer), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 14:00 (seven years ago) link
^ Like
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 16:53 (seven years ago) link
"This is normal"
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 16:55 (seven years ago) link
"Giant steps are what you take, climbing on the Moon"
― and all the politicians making crazy sounds (snoball), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 17:24 (seven years ago) link
Contenderizer x2
― poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Tuesday, 12 July 2016 18:15 (seven years ago) link
"There's really nothing to it."Submitted by Throop Wilder, Lincoln, Mass. "If you see the cartoonist, have him drop me a line."Submitted by J. Michael Shanley, Marshfield, Mass. "Because it's not there."Submitted by Susan Robinson, Willow, N.Y.
― Mark G, Monday, 25 July 2016 14:27 (seven years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/160801_contest-690.jpg
― Mark G, Monday, 25 July 2016 14:28 (seven years ago) link
"I want to cut cable"
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Monday, 25 July 2016 15:09 (seven years ago) link
"im just really struugling with the glass ceiling at work"
― poor fiddy-less albion (darraghmac), Monday, 25 July 2016 15:43 (seven years ago) link
"you need a taller door, dickweed"
― a simba man (Will M.), Monday, 25 July 2016 15:43 (seven years ago) link
"I'm sleeping with another giraffe, who looks exactly identical to both of us"
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Monday, 25 July 2016 15:51 (seven years ago) link
"I never thought putting an unplugged LCD television in the middle of our room would work - and I was right"
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 25 July 2016 17:09 (seven years ago) link
"Who's got a long neck and rams his TV table up against a couch? This guy!!!!"
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 25 July 2016 17:11 (seven years ago) link
"don't get short with me!!!!!"
― brownie, Monday, 25 July 2016 17:11 (seven years ago) link
"put some clothes on"
"Let's Neckflix and chill. Get it? Neck flix"
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 25 July 2016 17:12 (seven years ago) link
"Did you do something different with your tail? Come on Lisa.. Why won't you talk to me?? Oh yeah, giraffes can't talk"
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 25 July 2016 17:14 (seven years ago) link
"I'm not going to stick my neck out for the DNC when I can watch the convention from home"
― mh, Monday, 25 July 2016 17:17 (seven years ago) link
"I am sick of not having balsamic vinegar"
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 25 July 2016 17:42 (seven years ago) link
I don't know how you can watch that garbage anyway... Come on, why are you being like this? I said I was sorry, and actually I think you'll find that "cow" is simply the correct term
― kasybian (wins), Monday, 25 July 2016 17:44 (seven years ago) link
Can we just watch more Friday Night Lights tonight? I know The Wire is good and all but I kind of just want to turn my brain off. You know? It's been a really hard day. I had accounting up my ass the entire day about some receipts I lost while I was at that conference in Philly. It's like, "guys, I will pay the thirteen dollars myself. You don't need to be such pricks about it." But no, they have to cross every T and dot every I. Seriously, I think they'd save money if they didn't have to chase down meaningless bullshit like this. So I had to e-mail the hotel and get them to FAX me the receipt. Fax, right? Can you believe it? In 20-goddamn-16? I couldn't even find the fax machine. I've been at that office for six years... and I'd never seen the fax machine. Did you buy more acacia leaves? That's what giraffes eat.
― a simba man (Will M.), Monday, 25 July 2016 18:23 (seven years ago) link
"Your neck is fine — all those actresses are just horses with spots painted on."
― Rimsky-Koskenkorva (Øystein), Monday, 25 July 2016 18:35 (seven years ago) link
lol Will M
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Monday, 25 July 2016 18:55 (seven years ago) link
"Look I know the job search can feel overwhelming, but just start with the high-hanging fruit."
― never have i been a blue calm sea (collardio gelatinous), Monday, 25 July 2016 18:57 (seven years ago) link
"I just voted you off the island"
― illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Monday, 25 July 2016 20:27 (seven years ago) link
"I feel that I should mention the elephant in the room."
― and all the politicians making crazy sounds (snoball), Monday, 25 July 2016 20:48 (seven years ago) link
"I only watch TV for the nature documentaries."
― and all the politicians making crazy sounds (snoball), Monday, 25 July 2016 20:49 (seven years ago) link
"I don't even own a television. Because I'm a fucking giraffe."
― and all the politicians making crazy sounds (snoball), Monday, 25 July 2016 20:50 (seven years ago) link
"If I see Jeremy Clarkson on TV again, I swear I'll put my foot through the screen."
― and all the politicians making crazy sounds (snoball), Monday, 25 July 2016 20:53 (seven years ago) link