"If you must know, I got 'Freaky Friday'-ed."
― Victory Chainsaw! (DJP), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:09 (eleven years ago) link
"It's not my negative space, or your negative space. it's our negative space."
― Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:09 (eleven years ago) link
"CAW! CAW!"
― click here if you want to load them all (Hurting 2), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:09 (eleven years ago) link
i think you mean "QUACK! QUACK!"
― Jesu swept (ledge), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:10 (eleven years ago) link
"got any lettuce?"
― Mark G, Monday, 2 July 2012 15:11 (eleven years ago) link
"well the kids are all gone now and marcy- that's my wife, marcy- marcy said "you've always wanted to do it, you should go for it!" and i just thought, well, why not?"
― snoopsheepysheep (darraghmac), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:14 (eleven years ago) link
"Just go ahead and say it. Say it to my face, Hinkwell!"
― Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:18 (eleven years ago) link
Yeah i figured there was a mix up, you needed a nap not a snap....ping turtle!
― that's why Love made the weirdos (brownie), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:18 (eleven years ago) link
"um, help?"
winner
― boxall, Monday, 2 July 2012 15:19 (eleven years ago) link
if you pass an old guy with balloons attached to his house, ask him if anyone is missing, and then tell him to go fuck himself
― Roberto Spiralli, Monday, 2 July 2012 15:20 (eleven years ago) link
No, I make the best soup
― that's why Love made the weirdos (brownie), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:21 (eleven years ago) link
lol roberto
― Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:21 (eleven years ago) link
"I'm bored."
― Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:22 (eleven years ago) link
"When I hit puberty I'm going to turn into a swan."
― EZ Snappin, Monday, 2 July 2012 15:25 (eleven years ago) link
I have a death wish
― that's why Love made the weirdos (brownie), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:26 (eleven years ago) link
"well, in my opinion that kind of negative attitude is exactly what helps perpetuate outdated and oppressive species roles"
― snoopsheepysheep (darraghmac), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:27 (eleven years ago) link
"Fuck you, I'm flying!"
― Victory Chainsaw! (DJP), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:29 (eleven years ago) link
"ugh, whenever i fly i get stuck with the middle seat"
― congratulations (n/a), Monday, 2 July 2012 15:32 (eleven years ago) link
"Boy, they really changed the evolution tree in Pokemon Turquoise!"
― s.clover, Monday, 2 July 2012 15:38 (eleven years ago) link
"And so I say to my therapist -- Come out of my shell? I'll show you coming out of my shell!"
― s.clover, Monday, 2 July 2012 15:41 (eleven years ago) link
"Just dropping byyyyyyyy."
― s.clover, Monday, 2 July 2012 15:42 (eleven years ago) link
"Tell my wife I love her."
"The fish couldn't make it. When do we start tessellating?"
― abanana, Monday, 2 July 2012 15:43 (eleven years ago) link
"Why a duck? Why not a turtle?"
― s.clover, Monday, 2 July 2012 15:45 (eleven years ago) link
"Seriously? Turtle's can't fly? Why didn't someone tell me soooneeeeeeeee....."
― s.clover, Monday, 2 July 2012 16:00 (eleven years ago) link
erm "Turtles" that is. No apostrophe.
"Want to scramble some eggs?"
― Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Monday, 2 July 2012 16:01 (eleven years ago) link
"Actually, I'm not a duck. I'm working on an article for the New Yorker."
― click here if you want to load them all (Hurting 2), Monday, 2 July 2012 16:09 (eleven years ago) link
replace New Yorker with Rolling Stone and it might be a winner!
― s.clover, Monday, 2 July 2012 16:17 (eleven years ago) link
Yeah, so it doesn't have the meta angle. I was also thinking the wording could be tweaked, like maybe throw in an italicized "really" before "a duck"
― click here if you want to load them all (Hurting 2), Monday, 2 July 2012 16:18 (eleven years ago) link
"Half, on my mother's side."
― Authorities don't know who shot the 50 Cent the goose. (forksclovetofu), Monday, 2 July 2012 19:54 (eleven years ago) link
"Actually, I'm not really a duck, I'm Barbara Ehrenreich"
― click here if you want to load them all (Hurting 2), Monday, 2 July 2012 20:45 (eleven years ago) link
"Hey turtle, tell Aeschylus hi for me."
― chupacabra seeds (Abbbottt), Monday, 2 July 2012 21:35 (eleven years ago) link
forks' is real good too. you should submit it.
― s.clover, Monday, 2 July 2012 21:44 (eleven years ago) link
ah, god, i'm pissed, but abanana's REALLY made me laugh.
― If you live in Thanet and fancy doing some creative knitting (Fizzles), Wednesday, 4 July 2012 21:56 (eleven years ago) link
"whoooooaaaaaaaa! Whoaaaaaaaa!
― Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Thursday, 5 July 2012 02:58 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.newyorker.com/images/2012/07/23/p465/120723_contest_p465.jpg
― Mark G, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 09:16 (eleven years ago) link
Pig: "I've got a beef..."
― second dullest ILXor since 1929 (snoball), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 09:26 (eleven years ago) link
"I can't find the Up escalator!"
― Mark G, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 09:28 (eleven years ago) link
"My tail used to be a squiggly as the cartoonist's signature, but I had it shortened."
― second dullest ILXor since 1929 (snoball), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 09:29 (eleven years ago) link
"Well I'm sorry you feel that Mr. Wolf is an unsuitable building standards inspector, but we're quite satisfied with his performance in the role"
― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 09:29 (eleven years ago) link
Pig: "I'm fed up with this 'mmmm bacon' meme."Clerk: "Well I'm tired of this 'everything is better with zombies' thing.'
― second dullest ILXor since 1929 (snoball), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 09:32 (eleven years ago) link
clerk ”Well if you don't like it why don't you go live in a MOSLEM country?”
― starfish entryprize (darraghmac), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 09:38 (eleven years ago) link
On top of the filth and stench in there, the joker with the prod is, like, "No, Mr Pig, I expect you to die."
― Grampsy, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 09:54 (eleven years ago) link
"God help me, the Mu Shu Pork is made of Piglet!"
― Mordy, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 12:45 (eleven years ago) link
"I wish I was taller"
― max, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 12:49 (eleven years ago) link
"Do you have a pen I can borrow?"
― EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 12:51 (eleven years ago) link
"Where are my pants?"
― ledge, Wednesday, 18 July 2012 13:19 (eleven years ago) link
"Look, you knew our policy didn't cover straw OR sticks when you signed it."
― Marco YOLO (Phil D.), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 13:22 (eleven years ago) link
it's weird that both of them have open mouths. i guess it's the clerk speaking, and the pig astonished
― your friend, (Z S), Wednesday, 18 July 2012 13:23 (eleven years ago) link