kinda think it could have been executed better
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Thursday, 24 May 2012 16:43 (eleven years ago) link
I'm also reminded of this, which, while derivative in a super corny way, nonetheless has some moments:
http://vimeo.com/35314812
it's back!
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/23/dining/easy-homemade-mayonnaise.html?hpw
“DON’T you know the mayonnaise trick?”
My friend Dori and I were standing in front of Empire Mayonnaise in Brooklyn, the city’s first and only artisanal mayonnaise shop, ogling its wares: flavors like lime pickle and, of course, bacon, when she asked me that.
― j., Thursday, 24 May 2012 17:38 (eleven years ago) link
ogling its wares
― jump them into a gang - into the absurd (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 24 May 2012 17:49 (eleven years ago) link
tbf this article contains good practical advice
― lag∞n, Thursday, 24 May 2012 17:50 (eleven years ago) link
The first time I tried it, I achieved the lightest, most ethereal mayonnaise I’d ever made. It tasted deeply of the good olive oil I used, seasoned with lemon and mustard. We ate it with roasted asparagus, dunking the spears two, three and four times into the tasty sauce until we swabbed the bowl clean.
― jump them into a gang - into the absurd (forksclovetofu), Thursday, 24 May 2012 17:50 (eleven years ago) link
And what a trick — a potential game-changer, the kind that turns homemade mayo from a special-occasion recipe into an everyday endeavor, ending our dependence on subpar, corn-syrup-filled commercial stuff.
BULLSHIT *sounds airhorn*
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 24 May 2012 17:52 (eleven years ago) link
from http://old.cbbqa.org/recipes/Mayonnaise.html
The Hellmann's Mayonnaise ingredients label shows that it contains the following ingredients, which are listed in the quantity order in which they occur: Soybean oil, whole eggs, vinegar, water, egg yolks, salt, sugar, lemon juice, natural flavors, calcium disodium EDTA (used to protect quality).The Best Foods Mayonnaise ingredients label shows that it contains the following ingredients, which are listed in the quantity order in which they occur: Soybean oil, whole eggs, vinegar, water, egg yolks, salt, sugar, lemon juice, natural flavors, calcium disodium EDTA (used to protect quality).
Soybean oil, whole eggs, vinegar, water, egg yolks, salt, sugar, lemon juice, natural flavors, calcium disodium EDTA (used to protect quality).
The Best Foods Mayonnaise ingredients label shows that it contains the following ingredients, which are listed in the quantity order in which they occur:
I mean, why would you even put corn syrup in mayo
― that is a weird thing to bring up over lean cuisine (DJP), Thursday, 24 May 2012 17:57 (eleven years ago) link
thickening agent + preservative
― mh, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:01 (eleven years ago) link
EXACTLY, that's why we have to help these little artisanal shops stand up to big corn syrup whenever we can
― j., Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:01 (eleven years ago) link
"corn syrup" is a metonym for "shitty processed food" i guess
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:01 (eleven years ago) link
if they only used natural corn syrup instead of whatever this horrible "calcium disodium EDTA" is then you wouldn't even have to stir it when reopening
the bias against corn syrup in mayonnaise is ruining what could be a great product
― mh, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:04 (eleven years ago) link
don't worry I've started producing my own small batch corn syrup, will be aging it in whiskey barrels and opening a storefront soon
― I DIED, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:10 (eleven years ago) link
is "supermarket mayo has corn-syrup in it" the foodie version of "bubblicious is made from spider eggs"?
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:13 (eleven years ago) link
good plan
I really need to stop making jokes along this line at work, it probably violates some sort of ethics thingy
― mh, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:14 (eleven years ago) link
delicious, delicious spider eggs
Maize Syrup
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:15 (eleven years ago) link
teosinte tincture
― mh, Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:17 (eleven years ago) link
http://gifr.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Bart-Blowing-Bubbles.gif
― it was a dark and stormy genitals. (Phil D.), Thursday, 24 May 2012 18:19 (eleven years ago) link
you don't use olive oil in mayonnaise! philistines!!!!!!
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:07 (eleven years ago) link
that mayonnaise article is goofy, it's like the least complicated thing ever if you have a hand mixer and a modicum of patience
― call all destroyer, Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:28 (eleven years ago) link
Olive oil mayo is actually really, really good.
― it was a dark and stormy genitals. (Phil D.), Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:29 (eleven years ago) link
It is! I feel weird having to defend it, but there you go.
― Respectfully, Tyrese Gibson (Nicole), Thursday, 24 May 2012 19:31 (eleven years ago) link
if you use strong olive oil it turns out too bitter, but its good w/light stuff or blended
― lag∞n, Thursday, 24 May 2012 21:58 (eleven years ago) link
one weird trick to make delicious home made mayonnaise [CLICK HERE]
― chris paul george hill (dayo), Friday, 25 May 2012 00:19 (eleven years ago) link
agree with icey on the straight EVOO; doesn't taste right at all. Canola or veg blend for me--maybe I'd put in a little olive oil, but would not make it the primary.
― quincie, Friday, 25 May 2012 01:03 (eleven years ago) link
Compare the advent of digital recording to an event in the history of food or agriculture.
Mayonnaise is as it is now known a bastardization of the Sauce Mayonnaise every saucier learns to make his first season as an apprentice. Pre-packaged mayonnaise sold in jars is almost nothing but tasteless vegetable oil and water, emulsified by gum and gelatin. I think this product is analogous in many ways to the CD, and it's introduction has degraded the standard of eating in much the same way digital recording has degraded the standard of music.
― atlas arghed (brownie), Friday, 25 May 2012 01:33 (eleven years ago) link
-steve albini
― atlas arghed (brownie), Friday, 25 May 2012 01:34 (eleven years ago) link
ha, great dn brownie
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Friday, 25 May 2012 01:41 (eleven years ago) link
oh steve
its
― mookieproof, Friday, 25 May 2012 01:42 (eleven years ago) link
“The sauce was invented as a new sensation for jaded palates at court by the duc de Richelieu, at first known as mahonnaise after Mahon, the chief port of Minorca, the scene of the duc’s dubious ‘victory’ in 1756 over the ill-fated Admiral Byng. Basically Louis’s drug dealer and pimp, Richelieu, known for opium recipes to fit all occasions, is also credited with the introduction into France of the cantharides, or Spanish fly.” She gazed pointedly at Kit’s trousers. “What might this aphrodisiac have in common with the mayonnaise? That the beetles must be gathered and killed by exposing them to vinegar fumes suggests an emphasis on living or recently living creatures — the egg yolk perhaps regarded as a conscious entity — cooks will speak of whipping, beating, binding, penetration, submission, surrender. There is an undoubtedly Sadean aspect to the mayonnaise. No getting past that.”
Kit was a little confused by now. “It always struck me as kind of, I don’t know… bland?” “Until you look within. Mustard, for example, mustard and cantharides, n’est-ce pas? Both arousing the blood. Blistering the skin. Mustard is the widely-known key to resurrecting a failed mayonnaise, as is the cantharides to reviving broken desire.”
“Until you look within. Mustard, for example, mustard and cantharides, n’est-ce pas? Both arousing the blood. Blistering the skin. Mustard is the widely-known key to resurrecting a failed mayonnaise, as is the cantharides to reviving broken desire.”
― s.clover, Friday, 25 May 2012 03:18 (eleven years ago) link
emulsified by gum and gelatin
again with the invented bullshit ingredients, i don't get it
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Friday, 25 May 2012 14:12 (eleven years ago) link
I mean homemade mayo does taste way better, but yeah the ingredients list on Hellman's is surprisingly non-scary, all things considered.
― "Holy crap," I mutter, as he gently taps my area (silby), Friday, 25 May 2012 14:56 (eleven years ago) link
*holds flashlight under face*
as she read the ingredients... she realized... that the mayonnaise...
contained CORN SYRUP
― judas, a homo (elmo argonaut), Friday, 25 May 2012 15:06 (eleven years ago) link
noooooooooooooooooooooooo
― lag∞n, Friday, 25 May 2012 17:59 (eleven years ago) link
children of the corn syrup
― jump them into a gang - into the absurd (forksclovetofu), Friday, 25 May 2012 19:35 (eleven years ago) link
THE CORN SYRUP IS CALLING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE
― quincie, Friday, 25 May 2012 23:21 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/28/nyregion/in-manhattan-a-for-profit-private-school-that-calls-its-own-shots.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&src=recg&adxnnlx=1338387353-AzHYfkb94yn95bPwn9XN9g
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 14:20 (eleven years ago) link
Incidentally, I have wanted to start a separate thread for obnoxiously terrible writing in the nytimes:
“Kids are nicer than psychopaths,” he chirped in his English accent.
He "chirped" in "his English accent"? As opposed to the French accent he likes to put on when discussing other matters?
― this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 14:22 (eleven years ago) link
I also like how it makes sure to use at least one form of the word "exude"
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 21:24 (eleven years ago) link
Also, kids are psychopaths
― Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Wednesday, 30 May 2012 21:46 (eleven years ago) link
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/03/fashion/weddings/sage-mehta-and-michael-robinson-weddings.html
― of family bonds and individual triumph. Narrated by Tim Allen, (zachlyon), Sunday, 3 June 2012 05:51 (eleven years ago) link
"mehta"
― of family bonds and individual triumph. Narrated by Tim Allen, (zachlyon), Sunday, 3 June 2012 05:52 (eleven years ago) link
She is slightly built, graceful and soft-spoken. Yet she has also been known, when cross-country skiing with friends who are falling behind, to shout, “Buck up!”
― of family bonds and individual triumph. Narrated by Tim Allen, (zachlyon), Sunday, 3 June 2012 05:53 (eleven years ago) link
Mr. Robinson, 31, grew up in Bloomfield Hills, Mich., loving cars and French literature. He manages real estate investments for a family in New York and is writing a biography of Robert Cordier, a French filmmaker and theater director. He likes modern chairs and couches, partly because they are often uncomfortable and keep him from falling asleep while reading.
― of family bonds and individual triumph. Narrated by Tim Allen, (zachlyon), Sunday, 3 June 2012 05:54 (eleven years ago) link
Most of her education had been in girls schools. “I just found boys terrifying and alien,” she said. Months later, she mailed him a long handwritten letter on her personal stationery. “I’d just hate to lose you, oh that was an awful blah line,” she wrote.
― of family bonds and individual triumph. Narrated by Tim Allen, (zachlyon), Sunday, 3 June 2012 05:55 (eleven years ago) link
Years passed. She graduated from Princeton, then lived in Mumbai, India, studying yoga and writing. He graduated from Yale, then got a master’s degree in modern and medieval languages at Cambridge University, then moved to Paris to write.
― of family bonds and individual triumph. Narrated by Tim Allen, (zachlyon), Sunday, 3 June 2012 05:56 (eleven years ago) link
She remembers wondering why she didn’t feel more of a spark. Nevertheless, they made a plan to have dinner and catch up.They met at Lucien, a French restaurant downtown. He arrived on a black Bianchi bicycle, and this time she felt sparks.
They met at Lucien, a French restaurant downtown. He arrived on a black Bianchi bicycle, and this time she felt sparks.
― of family bonds and individual triumph. Narrated by Tim Allen, (zachlyon), Sunday, 3 June 2012 05:57 (eleven years ago) link
At one point during dinner, she asked him if he enjoyed swimming in very cold water. Growing up, Ms. Mehta spent summers at her family’s house on an island off Maine and swam in the frigid sea every day. “I was really asking if he jumped into things,” she said. “It’s about bravery to me. Unconsciously, I was asking him if he’d jump into a relationship with me, whether he’d just go for something.”
― of family bonds and individual triumph. Narrated by Tim Allen, (zachlyon), Sunday, 3 June 2012 05:58 (eleven years ago) link
One of those friends, Eliza Gray, an assistant editor at The New Republic magazine,
― of family bonds and individual triumph. Narrated by Tim Allen, (zachlyon), Sunday, 3 June 2012 06:00 (eleven years ago) link