HEY JEWS

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Pesach is upon us. Who up in this bitch is keeping Kosher for Passover?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:38 (ten years ago) link

Nope. My excuse is that my wife wouldn't tolerate it, but really it's me, not her.

otm in new york (G00blar), Monday, 6 April 2009 14:40 (ten years ago) link

Yep. With family for Passover and they're huge kosher-keepers, so we're also kosher-keepers by default.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (ten years ago) link

I'm all for eating some matzah, but no way I'm koshering my kitchen.

Also: not actually Jewish, so technically not obligated to do shit.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:42 (ten years ago) link

i'm invited to a house for passover where they'll be drinking and smoking lots of trees

Surmounter, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:47 (ten years ago) link

Haha, ditto. Possibly the same one.

What does koshering actually involve, anyway? I'm vaguely aware of boiling water and possibly some earth or dirt or something? I know you can kosher stainless steel sinks and dishwashers etc but not ceramic or enamel ones. It must be enough of a pain that people cover their counters for Passover rather than deal with it.

strut around with a candle looking for leavened shit

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:56 (ten years ago) link

Okay so I read this thread title to the tone/pace of the sample starting Front 242's 'Welcome to Paradise.'

Ned Raggett, Monday, 6 April 2009 14:58 (ten years ago) link

xxp

My parents fill their sinks with boiling water, then drop a burning hot brick into the water in the sink until it overflows on the counter. I think that's how they kasher their sinks. I know one guy who uses a blowtorch.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (ten years ago) link

whoa

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:06 (ten years ago) link

Oh yeah. You can't really blow-torch the Corian, can you. I guess I assumed you'd have to get a rabbi in for the ritual re-purification. Is that actually a DIY project? Cool!

We got offered a couple of really cheap apartments in a Lubavitch nabe, until they found out my roomie has a dog. But I specified that we wouldn't be a religious household, or keep kosher, and they were like, whatever, we can take care of that. So...really? The oven, too?

Self-cleaning oven.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:12 (ten years ago) link

And yeah, this stuff can all be done DIY style. As long as you know the laws, there's nothing you need a Rabbi for.

Mordy, Monday, 6 April 2009 15:13 (ten years ago) link

Awesome. I do love the endless ingenuity, practical AND theological.

I'm celebrating Passover by saying something about it on the internet.

Zero Transfats Waller (Oilyrags), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:41 (ten years ago) link

we have some matzah in the house and will probably be going to a seder. I don't bother with the kosherness, I ain't wandering in any stupid desert.

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 15:52 (ten years ago) link

i really like passover, am i crazy?

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:04 (ten years ago) link

no its usually my fave

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:11 (ten years ago) link

i bought kosher for passover coke yesterday. it's delicious.

right thread, Ned (mizzell), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:14 (ten years ago) link

ooh nice

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:16 (ten years ago) link

it's like thanksgiving, in april, without bread

cutty, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:18 (ten years ago) link

OH SHIT PASSOVER COKE. Need.

I am going to a seder (my first), but because the hostess can't do it on the usual night(s), we're doing it on the 18th. Pseudo-seder. But I'm still psyched. Might try to sort of keep kosher-ish just to see what it's like.

Ooooh and I'm in charge of making charoset for the pseudo-seder, so recipes pls!

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:24 (ten years ago) link

lol i read that coke thing really wrong.
xposts

tehresa, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (ten years ago) link

Also: how much hebrew vs. english at your seder?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:25 (ten years ago) link

I never understood why anything other than unleavened bread is necessary though? I mean no bread as a symbol/reminder of events passed makes sense, keeping kosher out of respect for the period I can see, but, like not being allowed to eat corn? What's up with that?

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:32 (ten years ago) link

um are you unfamiliar with the passover story or what

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:33 (ten years ago) link

oh snap

s1ocki, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (ten years ago) link

During Passover, Jews refrain from eating chometz: anything that contains barley, wheat, rye, oats, and spelt, and is not cooked within 18 minutes after coming in contact with water. No leavening is allowed. This signifies the fact that the Hebrews had no time to let their bread rise as they made a hurried escape from Egypt.
Jews of different backgrounds do not observe all of the same rules. Ashkenazi Jews, who come from Europe (most Jews in America), also avoid corn, rice, peanuts, and legumes as they are also used to make bread and may have other grains mixed in. These items are known as kitniyot.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:35 (ten years ago) link

I thought it was anything that swells in contact with water? Or something like that. No corn syrup, in any case, which gives us delicious REAL SUGAR COKE.

The Torah instructs a Jew not to eat (or even possess) chometz all seven days of Passover (Exodus 13:3). "Chometz" is defined as any of the five grains (wheat, spelt, barley, oats, and rye) that came into contact with water for more than 18 minutes. This is a serious Torah prohibition, and for that reason we take extra protective measures on Passover to prevent any mistakes.

Which brings us to another category of food called "kitniyot" (sometimes referred to generically as "legumes"). This includes rice, corn, soy beans, string beans, peas, lentils, peanuts, mustard, sesame seeds and poppy seeds. Even though kitniyot cannot technically become chometz, Ashkenazi Jews do not eat them on Passover. Why?

The Smak (Rabbi Moshe of Kouchi, 13th century, France) explains that products of kitniyot appear like chometz products. For example, it can be hard to distinguish between rice flour (kitniyot) and wheat flour (chometz). Therefore, to prevent confusion, all kitniyot was prohibited.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:40 (ten years ago) link

I'm throwing myself in with the Sephardic camp this year.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:42 (ten years ago) link

Take a Hot Dog
and make it Kosher

Oh makes more sense, and yes, I know the story, but I'm wondering why go so much further than just bread, I mean, Matzah is just unleavened bread, still has wheat in it and all, it's not like they didn't have enough time to cook pasta when escaping Egypt.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:46 (ten years ago) link

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

•--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:47 (ten years ago) link

Which is to say, eating corn is a long ways away from letting bread rise.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:48 (ten years ago) link

Keep hearing the spoken intro to "One Step Beyond" when I see this thread title.

Don't eat that - EAT THIS

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 16:51 (ten years ago) link

passover is a great holiday.
G R E A T

BUT, the Haggadahs have not arrived in the mail from my grandfather yet and I'm also getting a bit nervous about seating... also, anyone have a good veggie matzoh ball soup recipe? vegetarians certainly won't eat teh brisket.

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:55 (ten years ago) link

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:58 (ten years ago) link

apparently quinoa is ok.

mizzell, Monday, 6 April 2009 16:59 (ten years ago) link

good to qui-know-a

rip dom passantino 3/5/09 never forget (max), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (ten years ago) link

Seven days of quinoa and matzah sounds . . . constipating.

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:00 (ten years ago) link

Can we turn this thread also into a list of all of the awesome things about being jewish in general?

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:01 (ten years ago) link

1. Chosen people.
2. Latkes

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:02 (ten years ago) link

3. Talmud

ian, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (ten years ago) link

4. hot sabbath sex

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:03 (ten years ago) link

5. Neuroses

This Board is a Prison on Planet Bullshit (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (ten years ago) link

6. control of the media/money

good god how do vegetarians ever survive during Passover without the grains?

― quincie, Monday, April 6, 2009 11:58 AM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

This may explain my increased secularism that started around the time I became vegetarian.

mehlt, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:04 (ten years ago) link

6. Noodle kugel

quincie, Monday, 6 April 2009 17:05 (ten years ago) link

My thought is I (liberal Jewish Zionist) care about as much about it as about the politics of ANSWER, which organized a lot of protests against the Iraq War. Women's March took place in tons of cities, including my own; the one here was an organic expression of solidarity that was fundamentally local and had nothing to do with Farrakhan, Israel, or Jews.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Wednesday, 19 December 2018 14:54 (nine months ago) link

^^^

well I don't consider myself a Zionist but otm to the rest of it

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 19 December 2018 16:46 (nine months ago) link

While I would like those particular National Board members to be removed, thankfully their personal views have not overly influenced the tenor of the Women’s Marches. I was not and am not a fan of Answer as well.

curmudgeon, Wednesday, 19 December 2018 16:50 (nine months ago) link

one month passes...

It was either here or the anti-semitism thread, but this thread seems better. Remarkable story about an invisible hero:

https://www.omaha.com/columnists/hansen/hansen-an-omahan-saved-countless-jews-during-the-holocaust-then/article_357296fc-cd60-563a-a221-8c18456c5c9a.html

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 7 February 2019 16:03 (seven months ago) link

two weeks pass...

one thing i'll say about Jumaane Williams, who just won the public advocate special election, is that nobody consistently shouts out obscure Jewish holidays like he does https://t.co/UHaM8IYObj

— Sam Raskin (@samraskinz) February 27, 2019

Mordy, Wednesday, 27 February 2019 22:06 (six months ago) link

If you represent Midwood and East Flatbush, you better know the Hebrew calendar like the back of your hand lol

we're far from the challops now (voodoo chili), Wednesday, 27 February 2019 22:15 (six months ago) link

tru

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 28 February 2019 17:23 (six months ago) link

(tru is on april 14 btw, stock up on eggnog now)

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 28 February 2019 17:23 (six months ago) link

tru bishvat

voodoo chili, Thursday, 28 February 2019 17:25 (six months ago) link

three weeks pass...

What are the best nuanced portrayals of reform or conservative judaism in film and literature? I feel like the standard schtick is either "look at this overly lavish bar mitzvah" or some other kind of cynical and simplistic take. A Serious Man might be an exception even though it is arguably a negative portrayal.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 17:58 (five months ago) link

transparent does a pretty good job of incorporating a realistic view of reform/conservative judaism into its larger story.

Neus Anneus (voodoo chili), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 18:03 (five months ago) link

related: can anyone confirm/deny the quality of Shtisel? some of the ol' ladies from queens in my ceramics studio seem to like it a lot.
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/21/arts/television/shtisel-netflix-orthodox-judaism-hasidim.html

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 18:05 (five months ago) link

my wife loved it

Mordy, Tuesday, 26 March 2019 18:18 (five months ago) link

transparent does a pretty good job of incorporating a realistic view of reform/conservative judaism into its larger story.

― Neus Anneus (voodoo chili), Tuesday, March 26, 2019 1:03 PM (fourteen minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Yeah actually that's a fair point. Rabbi Raquel is probably the most likeable character on the show.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 18:19 (five months ago) link

I guess as someone who actually found conservative judaism meaningful when I was younger, I never see anyone in fiction find it meaningful. I also never really see the sort of serious, reserved, inward quality of it captured. I guess reform is more commonly portrayed than conservative though, in part because it's the most common form in hollywood and media circles.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 18:26 (five months ago) link

A Serious Man is like the most Jewish movie ever made.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 26 March 2019 20:23 (five months ago) link

People in my community are so over the moon for Shtisel that I've been resisting watching it because I don't want to be a cliche.

Guayaquil (eephus!), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 20:25 (five months ago) link

watch shababnikim instead. i actually have links to see the first four eps with subs. it's so good. (and v true to my experiences from yeshiva.)

Mordy, Tuesday, 26 March 2019 20:27 (five months ago) link

if u want i can webmail u them

Mordy, Tuesday, 26 March 2019 20:28 (five months ago) link

if it's not a hassle, would be curious

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 21:51 (five months ago) link

well the opening of that first episode didn't disappoint mordy!

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 26 March 2019 22:09 (five months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Chag sameach, yehudim

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Saturday, 20 April 2019 05:34 (five months ago) link

four months pass...

so the temple I belong to recently lost our cantor/music director and the rabbi drafted me into the music ensemble (since they now needed a guitar player) for the high holy days and omg what have I gotten myself into

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 16:49 (one week ago) link

Hopefully a face-melting solo during the Kol Nidrei.

I don't get wet because I am tall and thin and I am afraid of people (Eliza D.), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 16:56 (one week ago) link

Minor keys!

Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 17:23 (one week ago) link

lol yeah almost everything is in fuckin D minor

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 17:25 (one week ago) link

How many niggunim are in diatonic keys at all

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 17:39 (one week ago) link

I'm way outside my comfort zone and learning a lot. none of the stuff is particularly complicated but since I don't read music I'm having to pick my way through things by ear in a lot of cases. there's a "swinging" version of the barechu in 3/4 time that's kinda cool. and at some point apparently I am going to back someone singing "Wade in the Water" (a song I actually already knew!)

Οὖτις, Wednesday, 11 September 2019 17:56 (one week ago) link

Kol Nidrei music is dope, probably the best Jewish music there is.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 21:51 (one week ago) link

otm, my synagogue growing up the cantor was (and remains) a truly wonderful soprano, and hearing her chant it is like the profoundest depths of my religion

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Wednesday, 11 September 2019 23:18 (one week ago) link

Avinu malkeinu was my jam as a kid, haunting

change display name (Jordan), Thursday, 12 September 2019 04:10 (one week ago) link

^^^this

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 12 September 2019 10:59 (one week ago) link

avinu malkeinu is still haunting! especially when it switches up the melody at the end

normal fucking rockman (voodoo chili), Thursday, 12 September 2019 11:22 (one week ago) link

I’ve head two versions though and I prefer what seems to be the less common one?

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Thursday, 12 September 2019 14:27 (one week ago) link

lol yeah almost everything is in fuckin D minor

hinei yom ha D minor

Guayaquil (eephus!), Thursday, 12 September 2019 14:31 (one week ago) link

Some years when I can't actually attend a kol nidrei service I just put on the Richard Tucker record. I can't really listen to it any other time, it does sort of feel too holy to just listen to anytime.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 12 September 2019 14:36 (one week ago) link

I’ve head two versions though and I prefer what seems to be the less common one?

Same, I don't like the other one, this is the one for me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvX-dCaAVcg

change display name (Jordan), Thursday, 12 September 2019 14:41 (one week ago) link

that's the one my shul does

Mordy, Thursday, 12 September 2019 14:44 (one week ago) link

My dad was our cantor for many years, and a really good one if I may say so, not sure if I've ever mentioned that

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 12 September 2019 14:47 (one week ago) link

Jordan that’s the one I know

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Thursday, 12 September 2019 14:49 (one week ago) link

Although I remember the last note of the first phrase being the same as the first note (in the first two phrases), I wonder if this is how the cantor sung it when I was a kid?

(also does the melody start on the minor third of the scale? I am a music theory idiot)

change display name (Jordan), Thursday, 12 September 2019 14:55 (one week ago) link

We have a few guitarists at our temple, most in simple folk singer mode, but one dude with real chops that is fun to watch. Also, there's the son of the former temple pres who fought cancer and was given barely any time to live, but did, and, confined to a wheelchair and with near-blind with an eye patch, has gotten really good at guitar and sometimes plays at services.

Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:12 (one week ago) link

I’ve head two versions though and I prefer what seems to be the less common one?

Same, I don't like the other one, this is the one for me

my temple starts with one version, switches to the version upthread for the last minute or two. it's pretty cool.

Mommy...can I go out and VAPE tonight? (voodoo chili), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:15 (one week ago) link

that's the only avinu malkenu melody I know, not sure what the other one is

tbc I'm playing as part of an ensemble - cellos, clarinet, hand drum, and a chorus - so thankfully there will be no folk singer turns from me.

there was some chatter at the last rehearsal about the composer of a lot of the melodies we do (Carlsberg? something like that) being #metoo'd and whether or not we should do any of his compositions as a result, but I couldn't quite follow the discussion. does this ring a bell with anybody?

Οὖτις, Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:16 (one week ago) link

here's a melodramatic version of the melody i was thinking of by the most famous jewish singer in the world (or at least the most-famously jewish singer in the world):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YONAP39jVE

Mommy...can I go out and VAPE tonight? (voodoo chili), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:19 (one week ago) link

Idk anything about it but it must be this guy
https://www.jta.org/2018/01/30/united-states/in-the-metoo-era-these-synagogues-are-banning-shlomo-carlebach-songs

change display name (Jordan), Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:32 (one week ago) link

ah
yup that's him

Οὖτις, Thursday, 12 September 2019 15:36 (one week ago) link

Carlebach is/was a major player in the Jewish music world. If you've been to a Friday night service in the past decade or two that was traditional enough to do most of the full Hebrew songs/prayers but not ultra-orthodox, chances are good at least a melody or two of his was used. His #metoo transgressions were extensive and well known for a long time but surprise surprise most looked the other way. From what I gather he also had a cult leader-like persona -- center of gravity for hippy Jews in the Bay Area in the 60s, then started a moshav in Israel and a whole community of acolytes made aliyah with him and raised their families there. I used to be friendly with a bunch of their kids.

Definitely an interesting twist on the question of cancelling ppl's art, given that the venue is religious... shul is a place where ppl might feel that moral ambivalence/hypocrisy more acutely. otoh worldless melodies don't evoke the skeeviness of their creator the way the characters and plotlines of a Woody Allen movie do.

Also Hey Jews! I'm mostly a lurker on ilx but never saw this thread before.

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Thursday, 12 September 2019 17:27 (one week ago) link

I belong to a Jewish liturgical music group on fb whose only rule is no Carlebach

Mordy, Thursday, 12 September 2019 17:30 (one week ago) link

Mordy I think my wife signed me up for that group too but I don't really go on facebook anymore. It's a good rule to diversify things even without the metoo stuff

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Thursday, 12 September 2019 17:47 (one week ago) link


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