Christian Food Products

Baltimore area Christian makes Blessed Christian Salt, as a response to Kosher Salt:

http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/dining/reviews/blog/2009/03/christian_salt.html

http://memphi.net/images/christian-blessed-salt.jpg

i'm guessing this guy doesn't know much about kashrut

I wonder if this guy puts Blessed Christian Salt on his Blessed Christian Pie Sandwiches?

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_idzsaV6c7aM/RdcqYuwi5cI/AAAAAAAAAMI/1WUGPFK9GS0/s1600-h/jesus+candy+footprints.jpg

http://i40.tinypic.com/316soox.jpg

this is turning out to be a surprisingly difficult google search

"when there was only one bag of fruit snacks... that's when i was carrying you"

elmo I greet you with a holy kiss

There's VITA-J, the original vitamin drink:
http://www.vita-j.com/mission.html
(J stands for JESUS)
I used to drink it all the time, but it's become really hard to find.

try the road to damascus quickie mart

also:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1002/743203285_01d35ab845.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/34/122320812_1cf73105d8.jpg

The OG motherfucker:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3231/2465204935_9e328b5911_o.jpg

http://lh4.ggpht.com/abramsv/R-igxvXRfbI/AAAAAAAAMf8/7S95PasL9X8/s800/2123546539_107c5292c1.jpg

See also Cadbury's, Fry's Rowntree's and Hershey.

http://www.getraptureready.com/appendix/img/0e953d41f65f420703243ab656b59b13image699x550_photo_1.jpg

http://msnbcmedia4.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/050325/050325_chococross_vlrg_7a.widec.jpg

For the sake of the thread, while mentions of Chick-Fil-A or In-N-Out would be illuminating to some, I'm talking about products that pretty much wear the manufactured Christianity on the wrapper here.

(like the last two posts. hmmm, sweet cross)

Is there any other world religion that toes the line between devotion and blasphemy more closely than Christianity?

"Cross Pops". Good grief.

http://www.getraptureready.com/appendix/img/k294_photo_0.jpg

Hinduism gets pretty trashy, but...

http://www.iloveftw.com/images/jesus.jpg

(I'm sure that's more in line with the hey-soos variety, but whatever.)

To be fair, In N Out does do this covertly. If you didn't already know, get your "o_O"'s out now. ooh ahh. ok.

http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/2930/innoutbiblereferenceor6.jpg

And that Ezekiel bread is awesome btw!

http://archives.starbulletin.com/2002/08/19/features/artd.jpg

http://www.allnaturalprevention.com/Bible%20Bars/Elijah-Fire-large.jpg

Do supplements count?
http://www.houseofdavid.net/images/productos/DS--90_thmb.jpg

there is a whole diet plan to this, too, i guess?

http://www.livelong-livestrong.com/assets/images/LLLS/MakersDiet.jpg

http://www.jiesworld.com/tyson-foods.jpg

Chairman John Tyson is a practicing Christian. In addition to placing 128 part-time chaplains (ranging from fundamentalist Christians to Catholic priests to Muslim Imams) in 78 Tyson plants,[8] in 2006, the company invited their customers to download a prayer book, containing prayers from many faiths, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam and Native American spirituality, from their website to read during mealtime.

"elijah's fire chocolate treat" sounds awesome fwiw

http://www.kidology.org/network/listings/newbcpic.jpeg

http://www.koshergiftbaskets.com/images/Bible-Bread-&-Honeybb.jpg

http://image.orientaltrading.com/otcimg/5_228.jpg

http://timesonline.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/04/28/jbeans.jpg

I heart you guys. This is bringing back my semi-thesis on Christianity vs. rave culture overlap.

(especially kingkongvsgodzilla, who's the MVP of the thread so far)

http://www.familychristian.com/images/shop/detail/11808_detail.jpg

http://thesituationist.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/famous-nun-bun.jpg

^^^ Direct from God's Own Bakery.

http://chattahbox.com/images/2008/12/dec02_chocolate_jesus.jpg

And from God's taco-stand: The Virgin Mary tortilla

http://cas.bellarmine.edu/tietjen/RootWeb/VirginTortilla.gif

that is a magic eye tortilla

You'd figure that there'd be some kind of Christian habenero sauce or something, but I can't seem to find any.

http://jasonthedce.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/ezekiel-cereal.png

^^ This is more of a "Judeo-Christian food product," maybe? I feel like they're trying to keep the appeal wide, but maybe there's something I just don't know about it.

http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/8508/organicgreentea10020.jpg

Christian green tea. Prince of Peace, super cheap.

http://www.deepershopping.com/imagelib/productimages/000/000/089/89077_jumbo.jpg

I like that that cereal box quotes Scripture about making bread in support of a product that is not bread.

Chairman John Tyson is a practicing Christian. In addition to placing 128 part-time chaplains (ranging from fundamentalist Christians to Catholic priests to Muslim Imams) in 78 Tyson plants,[8] in 2006, the company invited their customers to download a prayer book, containing prayers from many faiths, including Christianity, Judaism, Islam and Native American spirituality, from their website to read during mealtime.

― 2 ears + 1 ❤ (Pillbox), Wednesday, March 4, 2009 12:29 PM (43 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i stopped buying any tyson b.s. after i read in nytimes how they install preachers in their slaughterhouses and force the workers to listen to sermons while they kill chickens

Serious question: are there Christian frozen dinners? or Christian soy/meat-free products?

Christianity has DEFINITELY got the candy/junk food and supplement thing nailed, but what about the rest?

xxxpost: ya, that wiki quote I originally posted makes it seem like Tyson is pluralistic in their emphasis on faith, but, from what I've read elsewhere, they basically siphon loads of cash into positioning evangelicals in politically influential roles.

I did a little research and Quaker Oats has no ties to the real Quakers.

Harvest Pumpkins Are Like Christians

http://www.scripturecandy.com/store/bmz_cache/b/b7c7caa963221477a83c364d02bb1cf6.image.306x550

http://www.scripturecandy.com/store/bmz_cache/b/b7c7caa963221477a83c364d02bb1cf6.image.306x550.jpg

http://www.dltk-bible.com/how_a_christian_is_like_a_pumpki.htm

Harvest as a concept is really, really PAGAN.

you reap what you sow

xpost: Yeah, but so was Christmas once.

http://onthuhlist.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/2002-pumpkin-jesus-defeats-death-small.jpg

Substituting "Christian" for "pumpkin" in sexyDancer's link is kind of terrifying.

That Ezekiel bread is good shit, though.

DLTK's Bible Activities
How a Pumpkin is like a Christian

Thanks to Amber for sharing this with us!

This is a fun way to share the Pumpkin message! It would be great to use around Halloween or Fall.

A lady recently being baptized was asked by a co-worker what it was like to be a Pumpkin. She replied, "It's like being a Christian:
God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off you may have gotten from the other Christians.
Then he cuts the top off and scoops out all the yucky stuff.
He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc.
Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

1. Take a Christian. "You aren't a Christian, but all of us are something like one. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off you may have gotten from the other Christians." Talk about how a Christian is like us: it has an outside and an inside. The outside is what people see. The inside is like our soul or our heart. A Christian left to itself will soon rot and die. We will die some day too."

2. Carve out eyes and a small "o" shaped mouth. As you make the holes and pull out the pieces of rind, ask people what they see inside (yucky stuff). "This is what we look like to others and what we are like when are hearts are not changed. The hearts of men are full of evil and there is madness in their hearts while they live (Ecclesiastes 9:3). How can we get rid of this icky stuff?"

3. "God is the only one who can change our heart. But in order for God to change our heart we must become open to him." Carve an opening in the top of the Christian big enough to put your hand through. You might want to quote Revelation 3:20: Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.

4. Put in your hand and pull out the insides. "God scoops out all the yucky stuff inside of us. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, impurity, and greed." Talk about the cross and how Jesus was willing to become messy for us, so that we might be clean. I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. (Ezekiel 36:25b-27).

5. "But if we leave a Christian with just the insides taken out, then it's just hollow. We need to have a light inside that will truly make us alive! Jesus said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.' Add a light to the inside of the Christian. "When Jesus lives inside of you, you can glow! You will want to be kind and honest. You will want to please God, to help others, and to tell other people about your Friend and Lord."

6. At this point you might want to carve the mouth into a smile! "God carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

Poor Tyson. Can't win for playing those sermons, can't win for trading Labor Day for Ramadan.

He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, impurity, and greed. - qualities which, when baked and seasoned, are really delicious.

Then he cuts the top off and scoops out all the yucky stuff.
He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc.
Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

http://content6.flixster.com/question/35/94/37/3594372_std.jpg
YOU SICK FUCK

Poor Tyson. Can't win for playing those sermons, can't win for trading Labor Day for Ramadan.

― •--• --- --- •--• (Pleasant Plains), Wednesday, March 4, 2009 1:47 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

it was eid al fitr u ignorant cracker

What do I know. I live in Nova Scotia.

Wait...Seed of Samson?

yeah I was trying not to go there

ethan--pleasant plains is real people--he lives in the midwest--why would he know about muslim holidays, or kevin smith

http://lh5.ggpht.com/abramsv/R-xiK_XRhNI/AAAAAAAAMwM/mF8NSNjpN9M/s800/19691880_0a3f87805b.jpg

it was eid al fitr u ignorant cracker

― shirt_panton (and what), Wednesday, March 4, 2009 1:49 PM (13 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Eid al Fitr is part of Ramadan.

http://lh5.google.ca/abramsv/R-xiK_XRhNI/AAAAAAAAMwM/mF8NSNjpN9M/s800/19691880_0a3f87805b.jpg

Put in your hand and pull out the insides.

How can we get rid of this icky stuff?

ethan--pleasant plains is real people--he lives in the midwest--why would he know about muslim holidays, or kevin smith

― homie bhabha (max), Wednesday, March 4, 2009 1:58 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

arkansas is not the midwest u ignorant yankee

Eid al Fitr is part of Ramadan.

― kingkongvsgodzilla, Wednesday, March 4, 2009 2:04 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

thats like saying boxing day is a part of xmas

And that Ezekiel bread is awesome btw!

― System Jr. (Mackro Mackro), Wednesday, March 4, 2009 12:26 PM (4 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

I always thought Boxing Day was kinda part of Christmas, hence the boxes and not the St. Stephen stuff

dogg u realize that mine is only cuz of the [.]¿[.] right

haha it doesn't show up that way in display names, though! at least not for me?

i think you're the only one who can see it

for me all my posts look like

― [.]¿[.] (and what)

I just wanted to change my display to someone else's name and then post about how I was petitioning the government to be allowed to marry a turtle, is that so wrong :(

It might be a browser thing, actually -- the little change-function shows up in posts but not in display names. I will go change now

nabiscos full last name shows up in display names for me

It's a pretty common name, if anyone ever asks I will just say the great runner [.] Mekonnen posts here

^^ oh crap, the "I Love East-African Maranthonners" board is gonna be confusing

http://crosebrough.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/10/16/jespez.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/200/446642446_b15701c215.jpg

(Ive a feeling the second one might be an art piece and not an actual Pez)

http://www.christian-promotions.com/Bible/4406834.jpg

Bible fortune cookies! How... obvious.

btw yeah I can see the nabs last name thing to eth.

too. dammit.

I always thought Boxing Day was kinda part of Christmas, hence the boxes and not the St. Stephen stuff

― padgett?padgett (nabisco), Wednesday, March 4, 2009 4:46 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

we need to get ☪ to settle this ramadan stuff

i don't know anything about boxing day, but eid-ul-fitr is the first day of the month after ramadan. meant to celebrate the end of ramadan.

its the raddest muslim holiday ime, at least in se asia

not that ive experienced it in se asia but i watched a pbs special about it once

irish catholic

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_0DySLTT4PWo/SX-3tIgjM3I/AAAAAAAAFA0/w4iTKUv4xrc/s320/drink.jpg

Jesus looks like he's had a bad weekend in the ice reflection

Or is that just the soul of someone who touched oneself? hard to tell.

http://jezebel.com/one-of-englands-most-recent-religious-debates-concerns-1794789406?utm_campaign=socialfow_jezebel_twitter&utm_source=jezebel_twitter&utm_medium=socialflow

“England might be a major producer of asparagus, and the Vale of Evesham might be hosting the world famous Asparagus Festival, but where exactly does this stop? Would the Church of England permit a man dressed up as a baked bean to process behind a Heinz tin of the things, and sanctify the mummery with a facade of thanksgiving? And why only adoration of asparagus? Where’s the sprout liturgy, or equality for mushrooms? Would the Dean really permit a walking fungus to participate in an act of divine worship?”