WHO WOULD WIN IN A FIGHT

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

Who would triumph

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Darth Vader 19
Hulk 14
Gargamel 13
Batman 11
Predator 9
Sonic the hedgehog 8
Hellboy 7
Wolverine 7
Jean-Luc Picard 6
Xena 5
Super mario 4
Rambo 4
Alien 4
The Hobbit 2
Rocky 2
Dracula 0
Frankenstein 0


s1ocki, Thursday, 1 January 2009 21:32 (twelve years ago) link

The Hobbit

Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Thursday, 1 January 2009 21:33 (twelve years ago) link

If he saw a bank, he'd rob it.

Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Thursday, 1 January 2009 21:35 (twelve years ago) link

beck

El Tomboto, Thursday, 1 January 2009 21:37 (twelve years ago) link

LOL I should have put beck. and mario batali

s1ocki, Thursday, 1 January 2009 21:44 (twelve years ago) link

Is this to be a fight involving all these dudes at once, like the great outdoor fight?

µ^µ (libcrypt), Thursday, 1 January 2009 22:08 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.tmresimler.com/data/media/279/Gargamel_Resimleri.jpg

Creeztophair, Thursday, 1 January 2009 22:19 (twelve years ago) link

Is this to be a fight involving all these dudes at once, like the great outdoor fight?

― µ^µ (libcrypt), Thursday, January 1, 2009 10:08 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

yes

s1ocki, Thursday, 1 January 2009 22:23 (twelve years ago) link

darth vader ftw

u forgot goku

㋡ (cankles), Thursday, 1 January 2009 22:27 (twelve years ago) link

duh, sonic.

primalfixations, Thursday, 1 January 2009 22:32 (twelve years ago) link

Batman if there's room to spread out, Hulk if it's close-quarters

(sorry, took the question too seriously)

WmC, Thursday, 1 January 2009 22:40 (twelve years ago) link

I would play a Smash Brothers of this poll.

Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Thursday, 1 January 2009 22:41 (twelve years ago) link

I think it depends mainly on two things. 1) environment, and 2) weapons. The Predator could kick just about anyone's backside in a jungle environment. Batman could do the same in a city. But then only if he had has gadgets. Which brings in the question of are weapons allowed? And what constitutes a weapon? Does the USS Enterprise count as a weapon? Because if it does, then Picard would be able to own everyone else on that list. "Nuke photon torpedo the site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure."

snoball, Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:00 (twelve years ago) link

Picard gets a phaser but other than that his wits are his only weapons

s1ocki, Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:09 (twelve years ago) link

Sonic the Hedgehog wouldn't win shit. Mario is too busy jumping on mushrooms, Xena is all porking that other bird all the time and Frankenstein is too busy creating emo humans to attack stuff.

Pope Gay Homo Awful House Music (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:15 (twelve years ago) link

I think that Picard should at least get a phaser rifle as that's his weapon of choice in the movies. The Hobbit is the real loose cannon. If Bilbo has the Ring, he's won. If he doesn't, he's toast. Gargamel, and Dracula are basically toast anyway.

snoball, Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:21 (twelve years ago) link

Leaving Baggins out of the argument for a moment, I think it would have to be Vader that wins. Most of the others he'd just Force push through the nearest wall. The only ones who really have a chance are Batman, Wolverine, or Xena, but only if they can get up close. Adamantine claw, meet life support system... Picard has a chance at longer range, but effectively he has to take out Vader first, then deal with the others. Of course if everyone else realises that Vader is the main threat, and they all jump on him at the start of the fight, then I don't know what to suggest.

snoball, Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:40 (twelve years ago) link

(xpost) Although if Iron Man was in this as well, he would own everyone. Because he can fly.

snoball, Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:43 (twelve years ago) link

Mario can fly.

if some1 could fills me in i would like it (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:46 (twelve years ago) link

I thought about that, actually. He can only fly when he has the wing cap or whatever it's called, so I don't think that really counts as regular equipment.

snoball, Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:48 (twelve years ago) link

yeah does he get the bee suit

El Tomboto, Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:48 (twelve years ago) link

yes but he also gets the boing-oing suit

if some1 could fills me in i would like it (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:49 (twelve years ago) link

(xpost) the bee suit only allows Mario to hover, which I think would make him a bit of a sitting duck.

snoball, Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:51 (twelve years ago) link

surely it must be Darth Vader. You do not want to mess with the Dark Side.

The Real Dirty Vicar, Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:56 (twelve years ago) link

And I also have to say, re the "Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe" game, is that the only way a fight between Sub Zero and Superman would be anywhere near equal would be if Lois had given him a Zune 30 encrusted in Kryptonite for Christmas...

snoball, Thursday, 1 January 2009 23:57 (twelve years ago) link

I would play a Smash Brothers of this poll.

― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Thursday, January 1, 2009 5:41 PM (1 hour ago)

^god yes

anyway, it'll come down to batman and darth vader. i think vader takes this

"made smashable" (k3vin k.), Friday, 2 January 2009 00:00 (twelve years ago) link

Are you kidding me? It's fucking RAMBO!

http://i43.tinypic.com/a13i9s.jpg

"80s Baby" (Z S), Friday, 2 January 2009 00:02 (twelve years ago) link

He would kill half of these people/characters/things in the first 20 seconds of the fight!

"80s Baby" (Z S), Friday, 2 January 2009 00:02 (twelve years ago) link

Huh? Rambo will be firing at Vader, but the bullets will be bouncing off Vader's gauntlet. Remember what happened at Bespin with Han? How could you forget so easily?! He was stuck in that carbonite for ages!

snoball, Friday, 2 January 2009 00:04 (twelve years ago) link

Although I have to agree that Rambo vs Dracula/Sonic/Mario/Rocky/Gargamel = Rocky win

snoball, Friday, 2 January 2009 00:06 (twelve years ago) link

If the fight lasted several days, Dracula could sneak around gaining recruits during the night.

Who's going to hurt Hulk?

james k polk, Friday, 2 January 2009 00:07 (twelve years ago) link

Which Hulk though? If it's throw-tanks-around Hulk, then I see your point. TV series Hulk, meanwhile, would get owned by, let's see... Alien, probably Batman, Wolverine, and definitely Vader.

snoball, Friday, 2 January 2009 00:10 (twelve years ago) link

xpost
Darth Vader is included in the half of these people/characters/things that aren't killed in the first 20 seconds of the fight. I'm confident Rambo could find a way to take him down eventually though. I'm thinking these people are immediately shot and killed by Rambo:

Frankenstein
Dracula
Hellboy
Sonic the hedgehog
Super mario
The Hobbit
Xena
Jean-Luc Picard
Gargamel

(Rocky lives only because Rambo gets really freaked out when he looks at himself, and hesitates)

"80s Baby" (Z S), Friday, 2 January 2009 00:10 (twelve years ago) link

Frankenstein is too busy creating emo humans

Haw, well-put pedantry there.

Rambo couldn't do better than bronze medal in the high jump, so probably not him.

anatol_merklich, Friday, 2 January 2009 00:16 (twelve years ago) link

What If? Bruce Banner Was Bitten by Tomb of Dracula?

maybe it was 6:30 PM and Hulk was angry and annoyed because why was everyone always bothering Hulk, and Xena was wiping his forehead with a wet towel, and it was getting dark.

james k polk, Friday, 2 January 2009 00:22 (twelve years ago) link

IMPORTANT - how many lives do Sonic and Mario get?

Matt DC, Friday, 2 January 2009 00:24 (twelve years ago) link

Not that it matters, I am plumping for Wolverine.

Matt DC, Friday, 2 January 2009 00:25 (twelve years ago) link

Is Adamantine resistant to light sabers the same way Cortis ore is?

snoball, Friday, 2 January 2009 00:28 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.richiebits.com/comics/covers/BatmanJudgeDredd.jpg

snoball, Friday, 2 January 2009 01:03 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.richiebits.com/comics/covers/BatmanJudgeDredd.jpg

snoball, Friday, 2 January 2009 01:03 (twelve years ago) link

folx let's just be honest, this is a fatal two way between the alien and the predator

voted alien, think I shda gone pred

cozwn, Friday, 2 January 2009 01:24 (twelve years ago) link

how in the shit do you calculate that either the alien or the predator have a chance against darth fucking vader

TOMBOT, Friday, 2 January 2009 01:26 (twelve years ago) link

i think batman and picard would team up, because they would figure out that was the only way they could stand a chance against a sith lord
it is clear to me that this battle's victors will need on-the-feet cleverness and not so much the more primal attributes

TOMBOT, Friday, 2 January 2009 01:30 (twelve years ago) link

wht does DV even do? light saber? bleurgh, pred wd take him out from long range in a one-on-one; alien wd fuck him up by stealth. either way that's moot, cos rambo wd take him out w/his AK before we even need these hypotheticals

besides, I don't like darth vader

cozwn, Friday, 2 January 2009 01:31 (twelve years ago) link

oh hey! you didn't tell me DV ws a "sith lord"

cozwn, Friday, 2 January 2009 01:31 (twelve years ago) link

clearly you don't know what a high midichlorian count provides

TOMBOT, Friday, 2 January 2009 01:32 (twelve years ago) link

any Predator or Yautja or whatever is still gonna be the 5th or 6th hottest combatant here on paper

Timezilla vs Mechadistance (blueski), Friday, 16 January 2009 23:52 (twelve years ago) link

His name isn't even capitalized, how the fuck is he supposed to beat Batman (note capitalization)

So that's e e cummings out of the running.

ledge, Friday, 16 January 2009 23:53 (twelve years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Saturday, 17 January 2009 00:01 (twelve years ago) link

Hulk can not harmed. Never tires. Has no limit to his strength or power. To kill him you would need to annihilate his existence from space & time. Batman is the only one capable of thinking and fighting the Hulk on level of defeating him.

See, thing is, Hulk has been around long enough for retards to have though of all kinds of retarded shit to have him do. But none of that counts. Hulk is Bruce Banner until Bruce gets angry, then he becomes this insane, basically invulnerable monster until he calms back down. That it. He can't "see enemies on the (fucking) astral plane" or think properly in Hulk form or any of that geeked-out nonsense. He just Hulks around for a while and distresses the furniture until the mood passes, and then he has a nap. Everybody knows this, and everybody is right.

So all you have to do to take out the Hulk is to talk him down and then drop a brick Dr. Banner. Half the dudes in the list could accomplish the task.

Calling All Creeps! (contenderizer), Saturday, 17 January 2009 00:07 (twelve years ago) link

..or any of that geeked-out nonsense.

Pillboxxx/The Lol Belol (Pillbox), Saturday, 17 January 2009 00:08 (twelve years ago) link

rimshot

Calling All Creeps! (contenderizer), Saturday, 17 January 2009 00:10 (twelve years ago) link

lol

mark cl, Saturday, 17 January 2009 00:15 (twelve years ago) link

But in Predator movies(and when you're playing the AvP games), it's always a lone predator(haven't seen the latest piece of franchise shit). So it's not just _a_ predator, but The Predator. Even in the first Dark Horse AvP comic, you had the chick and a lone predator dude taking on a horde of aliens, right?

kingfish, Saturday, 17 January 2009 00:17 (twelve years ago) link

in the avp movie several of them came as a team, they're just a_predators, for whatever the fuck that's worth

No, I mean sure, predator is a person , I won't deny that. But he's not a hero, or even a protagonist.

well we don't make predators the protagonists of our movies cause they kill us, it's established at least by the time avp came around that the earthly hunts (the hunts for Aliens at least) are quasi-religious rites of passage for presumably young predators so yeah, they probably got all kinds of hero tales and movies and wonder years and shit on the home planet. they're from an obviously authoritarian society and when we see them onscreen (on a mission) they're obv. all about business but they are individuals capable of thought and resourcefulness and even gallows humor as kingfish pointed out, and frankly i think you need to check your racial baggage at the door, which is becoming a theme with you...

none of they business (tremendoid), Saturday, 17 January 2009 00:25 (twelve years ago) link

j/k

none of they business (tremendoid), Saturday, 17 January 2009 00:26 (twelve years ago) link

anyways summarily ignoring people's canonical superpowers means you get to bet on adam west

none of they business (tremendoid), Saturday, 17 January 2009 00:33 (twelve years ago) link

'arbitrarily' excuse me

none of they business (tremendoid), Saturday, 17 January 2009 00:45 (twelve years ago) link

oh and a zombie great whale

― kingfish, Friday, January 16, 2009 2:56 PM

Stormwatch: Team Achilles to thread.

butt-rock miyagi (rogermexico.), Saturday, 17 January 2009 03:24 (twelve years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Sunday, 18 January 2009 00:01 (twelve years ago) link

Sonic the hedgehog 8

Socktor Duperman (k3vin k.), Sunday, 18 January 2009 00:04 (twelve years ago) link

whatevs, some asthmatic guy in a cloak with telekinesis could take the hulk or hellboy, suuuuuure.

ledge, Sunday, 18 January 2009 00:08 (twelve years ago) link

lol Gargamel

carne asada, Sunday, 18 January 2009 00:24 (twelve years ago) link

You can tell that some people simply aren't treating this poll with the seriousness it merits.

Velma can stay (Oilyrags), Sunday, 18 January 2009 00:53 (twelve years ago) link

Do not underestimate the power of the Dark Side...

snoball, Sunday, 18 January 2009 00:59 (twelve years ago) link

Now that is some straight up bullshit.

WmC, Sunday, 18 January 2009 01:30 (twelve years ago) link

Sonic the hedgehog 8

― Socktor Duperman (k3vin k.), Saturday, January 17, 2009 7:04 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lulz

Lamp, Sunday, 18 January 2009 01:33 (twelve years ago) link

wow nice to see only mongos voted here

9
8

cozwn, Sunday, 18 January 2009 01:40 (twelve years ago) link

weird fukkin results -- darth vader isnt even lol

xhuxk d (deej), Sunday, 18 January 2009 10:45 (twelve years ago) link

Nice to see so many people voting, but Gargamel polling over twice as many votes as Picard? WTF?

snoball, Sunday, 18 January 2009 12:57 (twelve years ago) link

Kirk woulda made a better showing, frankly.

Millsner, Sunday, 18 January 2009 15:56 (twelve years ago) link

this is really surprising!

s1ocki, Sunday, 18 January 2009 16:15 (twelve years ago) link

i will put up poll #2 later today

s1ocki, Sunday, 18 January 2009 16:15 (twelve years ago) link

Will Dick Dastardly be in it?

Matt #2, Sunday, 18 January 2009 17:33 (twelve years ago) link

plz include "a Philadelphia Eagles fan"

butt-rock miyagi (rogermexico.), Monday, 19 January 2009 01:25 (twelve years ago) link

;_;

Socktor Duperman (k3vin k.), Monday, 19 January 2009 01:26 (twelve years ago) link

Darth Vader probably couldn't even kill a smurf (neither could gargamel, but he got my vote)

CaptainLorax, Monday, 19 January 2009 02:10 (twelve years ago) link

Darth Vader lost every major fight he was in!

^likes black girls (HI DERE), Monday, 19 January 2009 02:20 (twelve years ago) link

I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND

*cuts legs*

゙(゚、 。 7 (cankles), Monday, 19 January 2009 02:20 (twelve years ago) link

James Earl Jones, OTOH, would beat that ass

^likes black girls (HI DERE), Monday, 19 January 2009 02:22 (twelve years ago) link

xena was robbed

mumps (iiiijjjj), Monday, 19 January 2009 02:45 (twelve years ago) link

in the end, I'm sure xena got what she wanted anyways
http://www.deankhsdelights.com/catalog/8a75_1_b_57_1.JPG

CaptainLorax, Monday, 19 January 2009 02:50 (twelve years ago) link

http://xenite.net/legacy01.jpg

CaptainLorax, Monday, 19 January 2009 02:51 (twelve years ago) link

ok i can't find round 2 but here you guys go

http://gamu-toys.info/sonota/sw/obama/DSC_4681.JPG

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 22 January 2009 19:16 (twelve years ago) link

http://gamu-toys.info/sonota/sw/obama/DSC_4696.JPG

the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 22 January 2009 19:16 (twelve years ago) link

Amazing.

Millsner, Friday, 23 January 2009 10:07 (twelve years ago) link

Props to Picard voters, the thinking person's choice.

zero learnt from nero (Neil S), Friday, 23 January 2009 10:17 (twelve years ago) link

paging Kant to thread

Millsner, Friday, 23 January 2009 10:23 (twelve years ago) link

eleven months pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dUSbId7Earc

latebloomer, Thursday, 7 January 2010 19:46 (eleven years ago) link

two months pass...

If Troi was with Picard, she could tell him that she sensed the Hulk was "very angry".

might seem normal but is actually (snoball), Saturday, 13 March 2010 17:23 (ten years ago) link

four months pass...

Batman is considered by the Predator species to be "the Ultimate Hunter" and is honored as such in their culture.

blap...tremendo (deej), Wednesday, 28 July 2010 07:38 (ten years ago) link

ultimate hunter != best in a fight tho

"It's far from 'lol' you were reared, boy" (darraghmac), Wednesday, 28 July 2010 09:02 (ten years ago) link

yep

what if "middlebrow" is pubes? (Matt P), Wednesday, 28 July 2010 09:04 (ten years ago) link

and even if it was 'who would win in a fight in the jungle' then i dunno has batman got rambo or even gargamel

"It's far from 'lol' you were reared, boy" (darraghmac), Wednesday, 28 July 2010 09:05 (ten years ago) link

or ewoks, for that matter

Millsner, Wednesday, 28 July 2010 17:04 (ten years ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.