The Seaside: Classic Or Dud?

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And come to think of it who's for an ILE Day Out?

― Tom, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Classic except when it s touristy and crowdy

― Mike Hanle y, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

and full of incontinent old ladies walking incontinent dogs.

― kevan, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Classic, esp. for writing songs about. Coast / water / estuaries / deltas / beaches / etc: great imagery.

― the pinefox, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

When I was 9 Clacton = the furthest limits of all possible fun, a kind of Kiddie Kubla Khan pleasuredome for my nine year old brane.

When I went back a few years ago there was a solitary donkey ride in the rain. We went in a Wimpey for old time's sake and it was Rubbish.

Isn't getting old a terrible thing?

― stevie t, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes. But maybe that's a thread in itself?

― the pinefox, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Surely an ILM Day Out would be more fun, Tom?

― Nicole, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

How about ILM goes to the pudding circus?

― Mike Hanle y, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Classic. High school on Lytham St. Annes background. Hanging out with mates in Blackpool. I will admit to screaming at the more wankerish of tourists. THEY WEREN'T LOCAL LIKE US.

Love seaside. Love lakes. I just like WATER, really.

ILE meetups are good by me. Maybe we could all go to the Isle of Dogs.

― sarah, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yay! The seaside! Just don't go to Frinton-On-Sea, that would be bad. I used to live there, y'see...

― DG, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Sarah [yells]: "This is local sea, for local people!!"

― mark s, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ah the seaside. My insane grandpa used to live in Brixham so we'd go there for holidays when I was a little girl and my brother would fall into rock pools. Last time I went properly was to Shoreham with stupid ex who thought he could surf there. But of course there were no waves. I went and swam in the sea cos I am hard as nails, he pussied around on the beach in his wetsuit.

― Emma, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

it should be somewhere vaguely smart (ie not Brighton) How about somewhere like Whitstable?

― cabbage, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

WARNING: dissenting voice about to embark on seaside town rant

i mean, sand, woo fucking hoo. does sand actually do anything? can it keep you amused for more than two minutes? don't you realise that practically every seaside town in britain is a depressing shoddy dump? these places have been falling apart for fifty years, they have the highest levels of unemployment and crime outside of the inner cities, and they STINK of FISH. what is there not to HATE about them? the local sea for local people joke is sadly inaccurate, even the public toilets are padlocked closed outside of the tourist season. i too grew up by the seaside.

DUDDEST DUD EVER DUDDED. come armageddon, come armageddon, come.

― kevan, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Whitstable = Consumption of large numbers of oysters + beer = aphrodisiac = danger.

How about Southend, in honour of two bands we have rightly and properly forgotten, the Kursaal Flyers and The Records?

― Tim, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

sarfind? nice, longest pier in England isn't it? Lovely Ice cream apparently. I'm all for it, so long as it's not Brighton, I'm never going back there.

― cabbage, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I have fond memories of winkle picking in Whitby.

― scott, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes! Southend = the titties. And I can get the train from my local station straight there. Southend Southend Southend!

― DG, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I grew up in a town whose beaches were three miles away from my house. I got it out of my system early.

Dud.

― JM, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Mmmm, Southend, I have a thing about Essex Barrow Boy types.

― Emma, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Southend trains go from Liverpool Street don't they? I'm all for that.

― Madchen, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

TH ebeaches of Maine are my seaside jaunt of life. White flabby families. EYE CANDY!

― Mike Hanle y, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes! Liverpool Street ----> Southend Victoria.

― DG, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

"a depressing, shoddy dump"... this phrase has me laughing out loud. Are they really that bad? I guess I don't picture England as being a paradise for beaches...

― Sean, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I hate the seaside, the sand, the heat, the summer. Just give me a depressing winter.

― nathalie - pseudo goth chick (nathalie), Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Seaside resorts during summer = hell on Earth.

Seaside resorts off-season = classic. Esp. Broadstairs.

― Andrew L, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Isn't Southend beach just mud?(something to do with having no sand or shingle in the first place) That doesn't sound nice if it is the case. I don't mind getting sand in my sandwiches but mud is a different matter entirely.

― Jonnie, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Actually Bruges is much the same: During summer it's hell. In winter time, I wouldn't want to live anywhere else. When you're on your bike, you just want to cycle over the tourists in the middle of the street taking a picture of the Belfry.

― nathalie (nathalie), Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Going to the seaside != going to the beach. If you lot are going to the beach I'm not coming. The beach is rubbish (unless pavement built upon it, naturally, yawn). Depressing, shoddy dump with top qual chippies and high-qual pubs = classic.

― Tim, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Southend = lots of pubs, chippies (good ones too!), crap beach (doesn't matter), lots o' decent shops, arcades, and of course, Peter Pan's Adventure Island. Which as seaside amusement parks go, is actually GRATE. And the pier, of course.
Broadstairs = dud. The Greenfield family have a flat down there (courtesy of late grandmother), so I know it quite well. Strange mutant people and bad seafood restaurants. Nice ice cream parlour though: Morelli's = yum yum.

― DG, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I'm starting to feel a fondness for depressing, shoddy dumps myself, suddenly. But what's a chippie?

― Sean, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

What's the coolest / most uncrowded beach near NYC anybody? I like Long Beach (the ladies go topless!) but I think I need an alternative.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

DG - you may well be right abt Broadstairs, been years since I went there, though remember Morelli's with great fondness, as well as a rather good second-hand bookshop.

― Andrew L, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Broadstairs is a dump, but the someone is trying to give it a makeover - there are some quite lovely new flats (with indoor swimming pool!) on the clifftops. Otherwise, it's pretty grim. One of the most pathetic things I've ever seen is the tiny one-screen cinema they've got there. And the strange mutant people who smell of cabbages (no offence to the Cabbage that posts here, of course).

― DG, Thursday, 26 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

There is bacteria in bosotn beaches. yuk

― Mike Hanley, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

> There is bacteria in bosotn beaches. yuk

You would've loved the Jersey Shore ten years ago, when all the shit from NYC floated thereupon. Nowadays the bacteria remains on the boardwalk (esp. in S[l]easide Heights).

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

My best friend in Victoria lives a block form the ocean. It is surronded by forrests . I want to live there.

― anthony, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

ok. so i hate seaside towns, but, but, but, I GREW UP IN BROADSTAIRS and it is NOT A DUMP. why on earth would you single out broadstairs for abuse when the abominations immediately to either side of it are MARGATE and RAMSGATE, two of the most horrible and depressing towns in the whole of the uk???? aside from the attractive flint buildings and relative absence of shoddy amusement arcades, broadstairs has one distinguishing feature: it is a town specifically designed for a pub crawl. the main body of the town consists of a single pub lined road that leads straight down to the sea. what more could you ask for? plus broadstairs has one of the best second hand bookshops anywhere ever. and the whole point of the windsor cinema is that it is so small, its the smallest cinema in the country or something, and run independently rather than by mr warner or whoever. sheesh.

― kevan, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Tim H: I'm glad to see you mention the Kersaal (sp?) Flyers, but are you sure you spelled their name correctly?

― the pinefox, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Er, yes. Google supports me on this one, too and Google cannot lie.

Apparently there is a 2CV enthusiasts' club which shares the name. Fascinating.

― Tim, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I meant to add: Kevan, Broadstairs sounds ACE. Is your hatred for seaside towns a result of no other seaside town matching up to the glory which is ver 'stairs?

I too grew up by the sea, in delightful Sidmouth, the jewel of Lyme Bay. Around this time of year, I start wanting to be going home for the Folk Festival, then I read this year's line-up and realise I'm better off staying put.

― Tim, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I like the seaside. In fact, I LOVE the seaside, even though I hate swimming, and refuse to do it since I nearly drowned off the coast of Cape Cod when I was a teenager.

But I do very much like sitting on the beach and *looking* at the sea, it's very calming. When we were young, we used to go to Eastbourne for Parish Eggy Holiday. That was brilliant.

Now I just want to go to Walton on the Naze. I mean, it's called Walton on the NOSE, after all! Surely this bears investigating?

― Kate the Saint, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Southend = 4000 loud fat families attempting to spend their summer fortnight on a 30-yard strip of mud by a main road. The odourous blend of beer, chipfat, cigarettes and sweat pervades a radius of five miles. Dud, I think.

Other southern England beaches, in bad weather and devoid of human detritus please = classic.

― berbis, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Human beings = classic.

The phrase "human detritus" = mega-dud.

Person who only likes the seaside when it's deserted = no fun whatsoever as companion on trip to seaside.

― Tim, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oi Hopkins who made you phrase-judge? Scared I'd kick sand in your face? Damn, you need to get laid.

― berbis, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Excuse me?

― Tim, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I was right proud of *human detritus* you meany

― berbis, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I see.

― Tim, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Trivia alert

Pinefox: it is spelt 'Kursaal'. The actual place has a website too I just discovered. http://www.kursaal.co.uk

"Originally opened in 1901, the Kursaal was the world's first ever theme park, pre-dating Coney Island in America." it claims.

― m jemmeson, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

tim, no, i don't look down on seaside towns because of their failure to live up to broadstairs. i don't even like broadstairs that much, i just didn't think it was fair to single it out as an example of a bad seaside town. what has made me hate seaside towns so much is spending so much time in them "out of season". there are few things more depressing than margate (or blackpool, or southend) when they are cloudy and grey, closed and deserted. after you've lived with that for years all the summer frivolity just seems so, well, fake.

― kevan, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ah. The jewel of Lyme Bay could have done with a little frivolity, fake or otherwise, at any time of the year.

Have you located the source of authentic frivolity on the Western edges of London, Kevan?

― Tim, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

no. no frivolity at all. bliss.

― kevan, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The continuous use of the words "dump", "shoddy", and "depressing" to describe English seaside towns has me laughing nonstop.

― Sean, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Don't believe the hype! Broadstairs = ultra-dud, though Ramsgate is even worse. Margate has lots of places for me to shovel my pennies into silly arcade games, and a theme park where the rides break down all the time. Therefore: classic. Best seaside town name: Dumpton, right nextdoor to Broadstairs. Yes, really, go check a map if you don't believe me.
Kate: Walton-On-The-Naze isn't that great. Apart from the ghost train on the pier. I used to live in Frinton, you see, wot is a short walk away from WOTN.

― DG, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

The idea of English beaches seems silly as a Sahara cross country ski resort.

― Mike Hanle y, Friday, 27 July 2001 00:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

one year passes...

filey.

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 21 September 2002 10:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

My parents lived in Weston-super-mare when I was born, and we went back there about 100 times a year* ever after. The tide there goes out about three miles, and throughout every summer an average of two people a week have to be rescued from the thick black mud.

*may be an exaggeration, but it felt like it

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 21 September 2002 11:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

I've not seen the sea in years.

I do like the seaside. I would like to live there in winter. If I could transfer everything and everyone I know to the coast, then I would.

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 21 September 2002 11:09 (twenty-one years ago) link

CLASSIC.

― robin carmody (robin carmody), Saturday, 21 September 2002 14:47 (twenty-one years ago) link

ten months pass...

Boys who go to the beach sans trunks&towel: classic ou dud?

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 24 July 2003 04:05 (twenty years ago) link

When I was a kid, my Dad would sometimes cheerfully ask on a Saturday morning : "Who wants to go to the seaside today?!" and my mother would look horrified and silently mouthe "say no, for god's sake say no!" to my brother and I because going to the seaside = a day at Weston-super-Mare.

It's a bleak place, really. I remember it being very sand-in-the-picnic-lunch windy all the time. And there were donkeys.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 24 July 2003 05:00 (twenty years ago) link

I live by the seaside. I see ships and ferries from my living room. And a SEA FORT.

― robster (robster), Thursday, 24 July 2003 07:53 (twenty years ago) link

Boys who go to the beach sans trunks&towel: classic ou dud?

This is Gareth, non?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 24 July 2003 07:54 (twenty years ago) link

Weston-super-Mare was my only experience of the seaside until I was about seven or eight. I thought all beaches were muddy and brown and smelt of donkey shit.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 24 July 2003 07:56 (twenty years ago) link

jane suck (= greatest punk rock writer of all, sounds 77-78) grew up in weston-super-mare

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 24 July 2003 08:00 (twenty years ago) link

So did Jeffrey Archer

― RickyT (RickyT), Thursday, 24 July 2003 08:25 (twenty years ago) link

AKA the 2nd greatest punk rock writer ever.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 24 July 2003 08:27 (twenty years ago) link

The Isle of Wight has some nice secluded beaches, i.e. Steephill Cove.

― C J (C J), Thursday, 24 July 2003 08:30 (twenty years ago) link

Sand Bay, just around the coast from Weston Super Mare = much nicer, if I remember correctly.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 24 July 2003 08:35 (twenty years ago) link

CJ is OTM. Climb over the hill north of Sandown (it's a bit of a trek but there's a pub by the monument on top) and drop down to the luvverly sandy crescent of Whitecliff Bay.

― robster (robster), Thursday, 24 July 2003 11:19 (twenty years ago) link

This is Gareth, non?

oui, et bnw

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 24 July 2003 14:49 (twenty years ago) link

I know the pub of which the robster speaks - it's the Culverhaven, isn't it?

― C J (C J), Thursday, 24 July 2003 15:07 (twenty years ago) link

Can't remember the name. But it would make sense, what with being on Culver Down and all.

― robster (robster), Thursday, 24 July 2003 15:16 (twenty years ago) link

Whitecliff Bay - Culver cliff in the background

http://www.goodbeachguide.co.uk/Images/beaches/seast/whitecliff.gif

― robster (robster), Thursday, 24 July 2003 15:19 (twenty years ago) link

My parents owned a caravan in Sand Bay for many years. I can't begin to imagine how many weekends we spent there. It's pretty dull, but there is less mud than Weston.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 24 July 2003 17:45 (twenty years ago) link

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