Has ILE become too pally?

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When one wanders into an internet community for the first time, as with a party in real life really, more self-conscious types (eg ME) tend to think that everyone knows each other and aren't interested in talking to new people. In fact, they're all usually sitting there thinking "I wish those people over there would come and talk to me - I'm bored".

I am often wary of referring to people on ILE / talking about ILE too much cause it reinforces that image. Some days it's all just in jokes and not talking about things in the open ended ways that made the community thrive in the first place. It's NOT a clique, but it's important maybe to bear in mind that it would look that way to newcomers.

Do you worry about this kind of thing?

― N., Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

yes, and then i think that no - one would really give a dman if i didn't post for a few months...

it sometimes makes me feel as if I'm back in highschool, trying to fit in again...

but a lot of that is my own headspace, sooooo...

― Queen G, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Well, I am a newcomer (though not to some of you.) And I like gatecrashing cliques :)

― Archel, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I tend to think people take no notice of what I post (and I am not well-liked), I certainly don't feel like a part of any clique. So I'm not really very concious of that when I am posting things to ILE.

― Nicole, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

ideally it's a mix of both. It's obvious (even usually from the title) which threads are kind of serious mided forums where people are exchanging opinions and which ones are cliquey gets talking in code.

Both are fun in their own way and surely one leads to the other, for the uninitiated.

But somedays it is a bit bobbins. Just like real life

― misterjones, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I guess it's some kind of evolutionary thing where only people who aren't too shy or whatever will ever get noticed, which allows for the possibility of lots of nice people never being found. but fuck it I don't know what I'm missing do I, so I can't really worry about it. even the in-jokes are picked up quite quickly.

But I mean even answering this now I'm thinking should I add some sort of disclaimer so people don't read it and go "what's HE talking about our ILE for".

― Ronan, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Oh, totally. * winks *

― Tracer hand, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Yes, now fcuk off, "pal".

― Sarah, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

sniffle

― Ronan, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I'm doing my best to be rude to Nick as much as possible Does that count.

― Pete, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

No, it just shows you secretly want to kiss me. Now go away.

― N., Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I didn't think that was a secret.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I didn't know. Pucker up then Dastoor. No tongues though.

― Pete, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I tend to think people take no notice of what I post (and I am not well-liked)

*insert protestion to the contrary and annoyance that anyone would think such a thing about you here*

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I am still nice to her, but all I get back is abuse.

― N., Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

[ie. she is my ideal woman]

― N., Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ptee is your ideal woman? Oh Nick... *pats N. sympathetically on the back, then gives him a cookie*

― Dan Perry, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Should be 'protestation' rather than 'protestion,' shouldn't it? Although I like the economy of the latter.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I don't like this message board because I am not popular. I don't like anywhere if I am not going to be popular.

― Mandee, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

But you are popular! Um, whoever you are.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ned, I'm just the geeky girl you are trying to make feel WELCOME.. it's obvious you really hate me!

― Mandee, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Well that wasn't very nice, Mr. Nicest Poster on ILE. It doesn't take a Playboy spread to get your crown revoked, you know.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

But hey, don't let that stop you.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Sorry Mandee, I just realized I'm guilty of exactly the "pally" behavior being decried in the question. If it makes you feel any better, yes, I totally hate you, but it's only because you're popular :P

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I do *not* hate Mandee at all, and Tracer Hand is a poopie-head. Hmph. To Mandee = based on yer various posts so far, you are cool. :-) Talk more, I say!

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I like Mandee, but then I'm not popular either. I would be in the ile a/v club.

― Nicole, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

*insert protestion to the contrary and annoyance that anyone would think such a thing about you here*

I wasn't talking about you, but I did get schooled about some other people...

― Nicole, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I would be in the ile a/v club.

I was sorta in that by default in high school. Never formally so, but I was the one bringing the Monty Python tapes to watch.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

I was in the AV club in high school, but at least for a while that's where the handful of punk rockers hung out, so for me it was the coolest.

― Sean, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Ned - should be protest, not protestation. Protestation in this sense according to Webster is rare. But protestion is not a word. ;-)

― Ron, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Do you not know the power of neologisms? Hmf!

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

you go head wit you word-inventin' self! I only commented because when I first read your initial post I thought 'hmm, is that even a word?' and looked it up. then saw your second comment so thought I'd throw my two cents in since I'd been to the dict.

On the topic, I'm afraid everyone will hate me forever because I tried to defend Sting on ILM.

― Ron, Friday, 22 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

Don't be melodramatic, Ron. Most of us do plan to forgive you before hell freezes over.

― Tim, Saturday, 23 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

phew!

― Ron, Saturday, 23 March 2002 01:00 (twenty-two years ago) link

ten months pass...

I think ILE has definitely got too meta and injokey of late.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 25 January 2003 17:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

Maybe adding stuff to the FAQ might help? If newcomers don't look at the FAQ then they can't really complain....

― MarkH (MarkH), Saturday, 25 January 2003 17:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeah, I'm inclined to agree. It's the multiple joke versions of threads that I dislike really.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 25 January 2003 17:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

I liked your general injoke laden joke, sorry I realise that's an injoke now. I'm unsure if ILE has been meta or injokey, to be honest the old threads keep coming up and I read the sort of comic ping pong of funny posts and think that ILE has become less cliquey in the sense that now threads derail a bit less often. Is this my imagination?

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 25 January 2003 17:52 (twenty-one years ago) link

Yeah Martin, sorry about the Charmin one. Though I think one every so often is good and it was funny once and once only to have a million off one thread.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 25 January 2003 17:54 (twenty-one years ago) link

but N you're the one who is mainly responsible for the injokes and stuff?

― gareth (gareth), Saturday, 25 January 2003 18:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

It's the multiple joke versions of threads that I dislike really.

It's probably hypocritical for me to talk about annoying things, but the multiple joke versions of threads are intensely annoying.

― Nicole (Nicole), Saturday, 25 January 2003 18:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

thirded, but whatever floats yr boat. let people have their fun - although i didn't read any of them, it looked like this latest round had many threads with quite a few answers.

― ron (ron), Saturday, 25 January 2003 18:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

this injokiness is inevitable. live with it.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 25 January 2003 18:53 (twenty-one years ago) link

that's your answer to everything.

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 25 January 2003 18:58 (twenty-one years ago) link

yes.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 25 January 2003 18:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

Gareth that's just not true.

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 25 January 2003 20:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

five months pass...

Tonight, I feel totally out of it, for example. Maybe because I've been playing Age of Sodding Empires II all night but still, I look at at, and it's like a chatroom.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 00:15 (twenty years ago) link

It has gotten like that on certain threads.

― Lars (Nicole), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 00:23 (twenty years ago) link

They're just back and forth joshing one-line posts between a few people for the entire thread. On questions that looked interesting. Ah well - I know hw easy it is to get into that mindset. It'll pass, I guess.

― N. (nickdastoor), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 00:30 (twenty years ago) link

ILX goes through good spells and meh spells, I suspect another meh spell is in effect right now.

― Lars (Nicole), Wednesday, 16 July 2003 00:34 (twenty years ago) link

Skipping 308 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

Embrace emoticon love.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:05 (twenty years ago) link

Hi Ned! (or was that too pally?)

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:06 (twenty years ago) link

Yes, I believe I will. :-)

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:07 (twenty years ago) link

Hello everyone! Yay everything! :-)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:08 (twenty years ago) link

YAY!!! It's a good ol' late night ILE circle jerk! PASS THE LOTION!

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:11 (twenty years ago) link

Hooray for the Western Hemisphere! The rockin'-est continent around!

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:11 (twenty years ago) link

YAY!!! It's a good ol' late night ILE circle jerk! PASS THE LOTION!
-- Bryan (bryan...), July 20th, 2003. (Bryan)

erm. that might be a little difficult on this end....

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:14 (twenty years ago) link

I'm sure we could work something out! Or maybe I could just shut my fucking pie hole!

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:18 (twenty years ago) link

Lol. I'm just not sure how a female circle-jerking would work--lotion is *definitely* out. I think you might have to mail me a strap-on.

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:19 (twenty years ago) link

How drunk do you have to be to call the Western Hemisphere a continent?

― oops (Oops), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:25 (twenty years ago) link

Canadian drunk! Millar drunk! Pretty fucking drunk!
I told you we could work something out, Orbit!

― Bryan (Bryan), Sunday, 20 July 2003 06:26 (twenty years ago) link

Shit! Is that what circle jerk means? I always thought it was badass guys who ride motorbikes.

Stop corrupting me ILE!

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 20 July 2003 08:42 (twenty years ago) link

Was the band Circle Jerks or Cycle Jerks? I'm convinced it was Cycle Jerks.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 20 July 2003 08:48 (twenty years ago) link

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/dre600/e625/e62520eusx4.jpg

― Chris Barrus (Chris Barrus), Sunday, 20 July 2003 09:06 (twenty years ago) link

Orbit we don't know you from shit. Give us time before you call us "pally". Most of us have been posting here for 2+ years. You've been here like what, 2 weeks? It takes time, honey.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Sunday, 20 July 2003 09:13 (twenty years ago) link

Cor you lot are so paranoid! This is grebt. I must get gAIM working so I can get all the backstories to this. I for example, find all the NYC-ers talk impenetrable, so either I ignore it or make something entertaining up...

Perhaps the NYC-ers could explain some of their injokes to us? I shall try to explain a London injoke in turn except that all I ever joke about these days is linux and Dr Who eg GOT A LIGHT? NO MATCH ahahhahahahahaha.

― Sarah (starry), Sunday, 20 July 2003 09:25 (twenty years ago) link

i get the majority of the ILXNYC0R injokes and I live in TX, WTF?

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Sunday, 20 July 2003 09:31 (twenty years ago) link

I guess you talk to them on AIM? Or you met up or something? Also Americans have a common language of syrup on pork products and stuff that mean there is already a bond which us over the pond with our pork products and tomato ketchup will never understand.

― Sarah (starry), Sunday, 20 July 2003 09:45 (twenty years ago) link

Sarah, if there's something you don't understand and would like to know please ask -- I'm sure the result will be as disappointing as Tottenham Geezers Swan Kiosk but the NYC crew would be happy to explain nevertheless.

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 20 July 2003 11:37 (twenty years ago) link

Mary I must admit that I have only got the interweb at home a couple of days ago so I not down with all the young peoples groovy jokes! But I shall make sure to revise this thread when curious!

BTW I now have great hatred for the Tottenham Swan bcz of many nights spent waiting for the sodding N73 to start running but all there are are bloody 73's going to Tottenham. Grrrr. And all you want to do is go home cos you are tired and drunk and grumpy and all your friends have gone home and buses only go to TOTTENHAM. Unless you go to Angel and change. I can recommend this method.

― Sarah (starry), Sunday, 20 July 2003 11:47 (twenty years ago) link

Get the N38 and go via BAKERS ARMS instead!

― RickyT (RickyT), Sunday, 20 July 2003 11:54 (twenty years ago) link

I want to go to Tottenham Swan.

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 20 July 2003 11:59 (twenty years ago) link

Toda is going to dye his hair blue next season.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 20 July 2003 12:36 (twenty years ago) link

Like Starry says, I think there is a tendency for ILx becoming just a spin-off from AIM chat. And I think this leaves those of us with no desire to go on group AIM chats a little out of the loop (cf the Polyamory thread).

― Jerry the Nipper (Jerrynipper), Sunday, 20 July 2003 12:56 (twenty years ago) link

i think this only applies to ILE jerry.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Sunday, 20 July 2003 13:22 (twenty years ago) link

syrup on pork products is canadian dammit

― s1utsky (slutsky), Sunday, 20 July 2003 14:56 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.norfolkwindmills.com/images/tottenhamswan.jpg

― gareth (gareth), Sunday, 20 July 2003 16:20 (twenty years ago) link

"Salsa is what I put on my scrambled egg."--Tito (It's-still-Mambo-to-me) Puente

― Al Andalous, Sunday, 20 July 2003 16:22 (twenty years ago) link

the Swan like the Viaduct pub near Ealing Hospital.

― jel -- (jel), Sunday, 20 July 2003 16:23 (twenty years ago) link

I know many of the people on this board for 5-10 years, that girl, in real life and not on the internet. I was simply de-lurking myself on this board, and responding to the question asked in the thread.

― Orbit (Orbit), Sunday, 20 July 2003 17:48 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.manchester2002-uk.com/buildings/strangewys1.jpg

― Mary (Mary), Sunday, 20 July 2003 17:49 (twenty years ago) link

Orbit we don't know you from shit. Give us time before you call us "pally". Most of us have been posting here for 2+ years. You've been here like what, 2 weeks? It takes time, honey

What is this? This whole thread was started because I was concerned how the board looks to newcomers. Newcomers are more qualified than anyone to give their thoughts on how pally and inward-looking it comes across as. I'm surprised you should be like this Sam.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 20 July 2003 17:58 (twenty years ago) link

The vast majority of people here were newcomers at some point or other tho right? So to draw from my own experience - I checked out a few threads now and then based on the odd Google search or recommendation by other people but seldom posted or lurked. this went on for about 6 months before i became a full on ILE devotee. the only reason i avoided this board for that long was because I knew it would engulf me, but I eventually gave in when I saw how much pally fun was being had and i thought 'hey gimme a slice' - well thats not entirely true as i became a regular on ILM a good 2 or 3 months before ILE

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 20 July 2003 18:14 (twenty years ago) link

N, my point was people can't get upset that they aren't automatically in on everything right away. (if anyone is/was, I dunno). But it's not hard to get all the BS if you stick around. The group will draw you in if you let it.

Sarah, you are right it's the syrup/pork that binds us all.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Sunday, 20 July 2003 18:21 (twenty years ago) link

ILE/ILM's problem from the perspective of every non-regular I've ever talked to is that it's this MASSIVE, INSANELY FAST conversation and it requires far too much time for most people to keep up. The weekends move a bit slower but every day coming home from work (where I can't read, much less post) I have to play catch-up on all the poop that happened between 4am - 5pm EST while London and NYC are up and chattering away.

Palliness is what makes people want to stay and keep up with everything. We're FRIENDS, here, of a sort, some moreso than others, and that's what friends do - make injokes and call each other silly things.

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 20 July 2003 18:25 (twenty years ago) link

Tom, don't lie. It's all about the pork.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Sunday, 20 July 2003 18:27 (twenty years ago) link

good point about how much your view of ILE depends on your circumstances and location. i have a fair bit of free time on my hands and i am in London area which explains why i have been such a frequent poster the last 6 months and enjoy the vibe of this place generally. i'd be a lot more frustrated if i was on 56k dialup, worked 9 to 5 everyday without permission to access this site and i lived somewhere where i couldnt go to a local FAP regularly - but those who come here in that situation and put up with all the cliquey bollocks are real troopers and i salute them (no pun intended Millar, bwahahaha)

― stevem (blueski), Sunday, 20 July 2003 18:31 (twenty years ago) link

I don't know, after reading some of the comments on this thread I wonder if anything I write is welcome here.

― Larcole (Nicole), Sunday, 20 July 2003 20:57 (twenty years ago) link

I am probably being paranoid, but when people speak in such generalities it does make you wonder who they are referring to. Maybe next time you find a post you take exception to you should comment on it on that thread.

― Larcole (Nicole), Sunday, 20 July 2003 21:03 (twenty years ago) link

Aw.

*hugs Nicole*

― Sommermute (Wintermute), Sunday, 20 July 2003 21:09 (twenty years ago) link

(You better get a streptococci vaccination soon, stranger.)

― Sommermute (Wintermute), Sunday, 20 July 2003 21:11 (twenty years ago) link

i think its interesting that someone pointed out upthread that a lot of the palliness follows from AIM chatrooms. and i hate to say it, but a lot of ilx AIM chatrooms, though individuals go out of their way to be welcoming and thats a good thing, hardly ever talk about anything with any relevance to me. sometimes ilx is like that too, but frankly you have to take the good with the bad, lifes like that. nicole, trust me, you have nothing to worry about.

When one wanders into an internet community for the first time, as with a party in real life really, more self-conscious types (eg ME)

i find this initial statement interesting, because N you don't come across as particularly self-conscious on the internet at all.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Sunday, 20 July 2003 21:49 (twenty years ago) link

a lot of ilx AIM chatrooms, though individuals go out of their way to be welcoming and thats a good thing, hardly ever talk about anything with any relevance to me.

that's everybody, I think. Unless you're me in which case the content of the AIM chat convo is whatever I have to say abt what is on my TV at the moment and not much else.

― Millar (Millar), Sunday, 20 July 2003 21:51 (twenty years ago) link

I am very self-conscious, lucylurex. I carefully examine all the things I am about to say and decide they are great. Ha ha. Actually I meant more in real life, I guess.

― N. (nickdastoor), Sunday, 20 July 2003 22:27 (twenty years ago) link

See, this is a good example of a thread which went into deep psychosis for a while there but managed to crawl back out of the abyss!

Oh it gives me hope.

― Chris P (Chris P), Monday, 21 July 2003 01:36 (twenty years ago) link

http://www.internalmemos.com/memos/memodetails.php?memo_id=1701

― Jody Beth Rosen (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 21 July 2003 03:50 (twenty years ago) link

Good Lord.

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 21 July 2003 03:57 (twenty years ago) link

Sounds fake to me. It decreases company morale? They're going to escort you to a meeting room?

― nickn (nickn), Monday, 21 July 2003 04:48 (twenty years ago) link

"All things in moderation" works pretty well in all works of life, including ILE.

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:38 (twenty years ago) link

Mark is a moderate smoker.

― N. (nickdastoor), Monday, 21 July 2003 12:52 (twenty years ago) link

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