English Eccentrics that are complete cunts thread.
― calzino, Saturday, 15 September 2018 10:20 (five years ago) link
yeah something like that, a non-commercial equivalent of this thread basically
― every day there's a whining choad (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 15 September 2018 10:26 (five years ago) link
we've got this tiresome old bigot called Jake Mangel Wurzel, he has a bath mounted on top of his car, a dog called Manhole, wears wellington/pyjama combos. I always say ignore a vulgar attention seeker and they will get bored, but this fucker never gets bored.
― calzino, Saturday, 15 September 2018 10:31 (five years ago) link
i always say everybody needs some attention but not this way, not this way
― every day there's a whining choad (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 15 September 2018 10:35 (five years ago) link
I have a lot of time for autism spectrum mavericks, but anyone who could be bothered with such a maintained charade of "eccentricity" could only be a 100% neurotypical imo.
― calzino, Saturday, 15 September 2018 10:49 (five years ago) link
https://preview.ibb.co/jOjfZz/20180919_001421.jpg
― Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Tuesday, 18 September 2018 23:19 (five years ago) link
Ha, I was just watching Limmy's Dee Dee sketch where he's in the kitchen and imagining the inner life of his t-shirt, this one sounds a bit less aggressive though.
― mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 18 September 2018 23:23 (five years ago) link
I'm gonnae gi' its face a wee dunt wi' the iron. Show it who's boss.
― Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Tuesday, 18 September 2018 23:36 (five years ago) link
lets to go back to the 70's and get a fucking washboard or twin tub, just so you can wear high maintenance fabrics. that sounds like fun.
― calzino, Tuesday, 18 September 2018 23:40 (five years ago) link
From: Alex at Morning Brew <a✧✧✧@morningb✧✧✧.c✧✧>Subject: Are you ok?
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― conrad, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 13:25 (five years ago) link
Wasn't there actually a terrible roller-coaster accident in this country not that long ago? I hope they've got their CRM/legal team in order.
― Matt DC, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 13:42 (five years ago) link
I was going to say, I remember reading about people being seriously injured and a girl who had her leg amputated. Not cool.
― calzino, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 13:45 (five years ago) link
Yeah, they can't even do twee bollocks right. Correct form would be "catastrophic knitting accident" or the like
― Number None, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 13:46 (five years ago) link
when knitters die, do they pass through the purly gates?
― Herb Achelors (NickB), Wednesday, 10 October 2018 13:50 (five years ago) link
Nothing says welcome back like "I've just been imagining your grisly death"
― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 15:43 (five years ago) link
third cousin of mine put a needle straight through his own spleen a week back. last words to his wife were 'wear the scarf for me'
― imago, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 16:07 (five years ago) link
not sure this belongs here but I have two bugbears right now with social media adversiting:
1) announcements of local shows by performers are always phrased as: "San Francisco, we can't wait to see you!" Fuck off, I don't believe for a second anyone in the Damned thinks this.2) I think this shit started with that stupid Omaze place but the photos of celebrities holding white signs with words written on them....drives me up the fucking wall.
― akm, Wednesday, 24 October 2018 15:56 (five years ago) link
wait, white signs w/words like in the Bob Dylan "Subterranean Homesick Blues" movie ... or something else?
― sarahell, Monday, 7 January 2019 02:11 (five years ago) link
it's 'cause some charities only get five minutes every six months with their celeb.
so they take a picture of them holding up a white piece of card and add the copy later
― Chuck_Tatum, Monday, 7 January 2019 10:43 (five years ago) link
Here are the 'sales pitches' for all four of HSBC's adventures in city-branding: for Birmingham, Leeds, Manchester and London pic.twitter.com/rkA9r72tQH— dan hancox (@danhancox) January 18, 2019
deeply fucking irritating? ✅
― calzino, Sunday, 20 January 2019 14:24 (five years ago) link
What point are the Hong Kong and Shanghai Bank trying to make there?
― koogs, Sunday, 20 January 2019 15:00 (five years ago) link
Argh, the Manchester one is "PM candidate visits McDonalds" level cringe.
Also, obvs more people know the song than the play, but "Look Back in Anger" is quoting John Osborne, who's from... Fulham
― Chuck_Tatum, Sunday, 20 January 2019 15:06 (five years ago) link
claim that Leeds invented fish and chips seems very questionable afaict
― Terry Major-Ball Will Tell You (DJ Mencap), Sunday, 20 January 2019 16:12 (five years ago) link
straight out of Harry Ramsden's bullshit origin story I'm guessing
― have you ever seen a VONC's tears? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 January 2019 16:20 (five years ago) link
actually, seeing the ayoade tv advert again, those echo the narration on those pretty closely.
― koogs, Tuesday, 22 January 2019 20:48 (five years ago) link
my mum gave us some teething biscuits for our daughter from a company called BICKIEPEGS and occasionally i find the unbearably twee word BICKIEPEGS swimming unbidden into my consciousness and it makes me furiouseven worse my daughter has a little drinking cup from BICKIEPEGS called the DOIDY CUP and i am occasionally haunted by the phrase ‘the DOIDY CUP from BICKIEPEGS’ which might be the worst string of syllables i’ve ever heard
― Effectively Big Jim with a beard. (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 22 January 2019 22:37 (five years ago) link
lol
― Number None, Tuesday, 22 January 2019 22:52 (five years ago) link
haha OTMI quite like saying Doidy cup though
Everything to do with babies is vomit-inducing. My son's bunny is branded a 'sleepytot' and there's all sorts of 'babba wuv' type things. There is also a kids' clothing brand called Polarn O. Pyret which I can never ever remember the name of (spent 5 mins googling it just now) and constantly call it Porno for Pirates instead
― kinder, Tuesday, 22 January 2019 23:10 (five years ago) link
"Sippy cup" is also a thing
― koogs, Wednesday, 23 January 2019 03:45 (five years ago) link
Bickiepegs have been about since I was teething in the early 70s, and a quick Google shows they first went on sale in 1925. So not innocentsmoothieisation I'm afraid.
― Bimlo Horsewagon became Wheelbarrow Horseflesh (aldo), Wednesday, 23 January 2019 08:37 (five years ago) link
proto-smoothie, then
― “I'm the sexy gorilla and I'm going to hell“ (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 23 January 2019 09:20 (five years ago) link
And doidy cups were around 50 years ago (at least); I had them as a toddler. It might not have been their official name, but that's what we called them. Back then they had a lid with a small spout: probably terribly bad for infant teeth.
The first time I saw an adult in London drinking a takeaway coffee through a sipper-lid (25 years ago? 30?), I thought "Ugh, Doidy Cup."
― fetter, Wednesday, 23 January 2019 09:59 (five years ago) link
a doidy cup, iirc, is specifically designed to avoid the spout and it's potential damaging effects on tooth development. they're built with a slant to allow infants to learn to drink with potentially less spills, thus avoiding the need for a lid.
ime they don't work very well like, but still
― Sarri, Sarri, pride of our alley (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 23 January 2019 10:27 (five years ago) link
deeply fucking irritating?
... I saw one of these in Glasgow too.
― Wee boats wobble but they don't fall down (Tom D.), Wednesday, 23 January 2019 10:31 (five years ago) link
I recently bought some Bickiepegs online (don't stock them in our Boots). To be honest, the packaging looks reassuringly uncutesy and it's a relief they haven't been rebranded as Peggybickies.
― Alba, Thursday, 24 January 2019 05:34 (five years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/UgqRnZW.png
― Terry Major-Ball Will Tell You (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 7 February 2019 15:02 (five years ago) link
y'all realize he does not want to go to back to the uk right?(directed not at uk ilxors but at FIXR)
― Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 7 February 2019 16:03 (five years ago) link
We've updated our icon to reflect how we bring email and calendar together with carefully crafted experiences that honor our Office heritage and welcome the future. Thank you for helping us make Outlook.
― American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Wednesday, 20 March 2019 21:09 (five years ago) link
is the animated MS paperclip an example of proto-Innocent aesthetic?
― sarahell, Wednesday, 20 March 2019 21:23 (five years ago) link
Kind of maybe but as i remember it didn't use the same ingratiating chummy slang that's the heart of Innocent speak
― Helel Cool J (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 20 March 2019 21:28 (five years ago) link
it's the only thing i can think of that remotely qualifies as "carefully crafted experiences that honor our Office heritage"
― sarahell, Wednesday, 20 March 2019 21:31 (five years ago) link
Yeah, i don't think that's an example of pure Innocent either, tho it's definitely Innocent-adjacent. It's more like hipster-artisanal.
― Helel Cool J (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 20 March 2019 21:39 (five years ago) link
The office paper clip bears culpability for the IA
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Wednesday, 20 March 2019 22:48 (five years ago) link
Blood on his hands, if he had any, can't remember. Dickhead paperclip.
― Never changed username before (cardamon), Wednesday, 20 March 2019 22:49 (five years ago) link
his name is clippy, show some respect
― i'm w/ tato, super hot AND weird!! (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 21 March 2019 00:01 (five years ago) link
clippy is a very Innocent-adjacent name
― sarahell, Thursday, 21 March 2019 01:26 (five years ago) link
It’s been a decade and I still haven’t looked up what an Innocent Smoothie is
― moose; squirrel (silby), Thursday, 21 March 2019 01:34 (five years ago) link
I see your Bickipegs (above) and raise youTOOFYPEGS
― kinder, Thursday, 21 March 2019 13:02 (five years ago) link
https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/375/cpsprodpb/B5EC/production/_106127564_mediaitem106127563.jpg
― AlanSmithee, Sunday, 24 March 2019 10:20 (five years ago) link
I regularly walk over a bridge with a blue plaque for Hull-born Venn and fortunately it doesn't look like that
― Helel Cool J (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 24 March 2019 10:26 (five years ago) link