Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

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aye but both of those adult bins are male - an important breakthrough for representation of lgbtq+ refuse containers imo

yes!!! its ur real Hogbards world (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 26 July 2017 12:11 (six years ago) link

do they think that by announcing the birth of the two bins people will be pleased at having yet more complicated waste disposal practices?

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 26 July 2017 12:16 (six years ago) link

not sure if this counts as Innocent Smoothies aesthetic so much as just rubbish marketing

Shat Parp (dog latin), Wednesday, 26 July 2017 12:54 (six years ago) link

four weeks pass...

Hope all is well, I have been trying to reach you over the past few weeks to discuss your 2017 cloud based projects. However, I have not heard back.

This leads me to believe that...

a) at the moment, your company sees no value in taking advantage of all the Google Cloud Platform has to offer

or....

b) 2017 is not the year for your company to realize the performance, scalability and savings of moving to the Google Cloud Platform

or possibly....

c) you are trapped under something heavy, just outside of reach of your PC desperately trying to respond

Whatever the case may be, in efforts to give you some time to mull it over or find availability, this will be my last correspondence. If you would like to discuss any aspect of your cloud computing initiatives via a google hangouts you can book an appointment here . I am always a call or email away.

𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Wednesday, 23 August 2017 20:37 (six years ago) link

For the record, this is the goofiest, most infantilizing rejection letter I've gotten since, maybe, first year of college? pic.twitter.com/Mzuf9qil7O

— Jason Scott (@textfiles) September 1, 2017

This actually made me shout OH FUCK OFF at my phone.

Thomas Gabriel Fischer does not endorse (aldo), Friday, 1 September 2017 18:49 (six years ago) link

lol, when i saw this thread bumped i was JUST about to post that here!

Karl Malone, Friday, 1 September 2017 18:53 (six years ago) link

The very same here. Amazing.

brain (krakow), Friday, 1 September 2017 18:59 (six years ago) link

The scope of newEpicJob is a bit limited.

And those single quotes around Uber look decidedly non-ascii.

koogs, Saturday, 2 September 2017 22:24 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Advert/warning on the All4 app. This must be one of the worst things like this I've ever seen.

http://i.cubeupload.com/dsGBCl.png

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 19 September 2017 20:29 (six years ago) link

gnnnnnggggghhhhhh

Mr. Eulon Mask, urging the UN to ban the "homicide robot" (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 19 September 2017 20:34 (six years ago) link

the fucking ads make All4 unwatchable, if you make the mistake of pausing, forwarding, rewinding you get subjected to another bunch of unskippable ads

be the cringe you want to see in the world (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 19 September 2017 20:57 (six years ago) link

that's why I love illegal torrent sites. At least even when the viewing is predictably dire, I can console myself that at least I'm successfully depriving this appalling channel of a few clicks.

calzino, Tuesday, 19 September 2017 21:07 (six years ago) link

Good grief

That is fucking monstrous

It's not just 'business transactions presented in kid-speak', it's knowing adult to knowing adult in knowingly pretend kid-speak

Never changed username before (cardamon), Tuesday, 19 September 2017 21:28 (six years ago) link

my line in full

A: the grown-ups are all gone, we will not see them again in our lifetimes
B: bcz it's up to us now god help us
C: deeper magic from before the dawn of modernity :|
D: ^^^a fuckton of this, it's everywhere, it's the ground we all walk on and it's gone live again

― mark s, Thursday, 7 September 2017 18:59 (one week ago) Bookmark

calzino, Tuesday, 19 September 2017 22:12 (six years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Not sure if this belongs here but

https://i.imgur.com/8YtBQgT.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/GEu1ysI.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/L3IMCdW.jpg

nate woolls, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 09:32 (six years ago) link

I might be getting old and boring, but I'm so glad life has led me away from having to meet people like Atticus

Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 09:49 (six years ago) link

Is that supposed to be some sort of super-meta level of irony? Like hipsters are now so self-aware they're being ironic about themselves?
Or did the copywriter get the brief and literally copy and paste the audience description into the body text of the advert?

Shat Parp (dog latin), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 09:49 (six years ago) link

"His beer crafty and his food street" is ultraviolet level ugh

Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 09:51 (six years ago) link

Seriously, if it wasn't for the text in the tiny black rectangle at the bottom, I'd have thought this was an extract from the creative agency's pitch to their client, not the actual advert itself

Shat Parp (dog latin), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 09:52 (six years ago) link

that is exactly how it reads, yeah

Number None, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 09:53 (six years ago) link

No way do any of the Atticuses I've met have a "quiet" distaste

Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 09:53 (six years ago) link

Unfortunately Atticus is going to be living 10 minutes away from my front door

nate woolls, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 09:55 (six years ago) link

wonder what atticus' ilx login is

more bemused than human (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 09:56 (six years ago) link

From the website:

https://i.imgur.com/0qtIv8t.png

Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 09:57 (six years ago) link

gnnnnnggggghhhhhh

― Mr. Eulon Mask, urging the UN to ban the "homicide robot" (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 19 September 2017 20:34 (two weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

more bemused than human (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 10:01 (six years ago) link

this is amazing. i'm amazed

Shat Parp (dog latin), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 10:10 (six years ago) link

Also the flats are being built on the site of Manic Street Preachers' old studio.

nate woolls, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 10:13 (six years ago) link

surely this is just really bad copy - like nobody self-identifies as a hipster, isn't that the entire thing that makes the word so frustrating? nobody is going to read that and think "yes that's me, i'm that guy", even subconsciously? maybe i'm putting too much faith in people.

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 10:13 (six years ago) link

frustrating? nobody is going to read that and think "yes that's me, i'm that guy",

"He is a pioneer of style and architect of his own subculture"

I'm guessing they're not trying to attract the hipster, but the conceited ageing douchebag hipster who manages him

Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 10:18 (six years ago) link

"critically self-aware" = life-threatening levels of self-awareness

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 10:19 (six years ago) link

Yeah maybe. I suppose to an extent any of these "types" created to sell a given brand are deeply hateful. I've done bits of copy for some hotels in Dubai in the last few years and I feel dirty and sick inside each time I see the finished brochure.

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 10:20 (six years ago) link

xpost

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 10:20 (six years ago) link

the export of the "hipster" brand seems to have done more damage outside of big cities like london than the same thing did within the metropolis itself. like the amount of bullshit trickledown is off the scale, ime, bbq and burger restaurants everywhere, terrible copies of the london copies of nyc - just really grim.

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 10:21 (six years ago) link

Also the flats are being built on the site of Manic Street Preachers' old studio.

so it's not all bad

more bemused than human (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 10:24 (six years ago) link

xpost

Yeah, even in the London suburbs where I live, mostly middle-aged and older people, gentrification seems geared towards the 20 and 30somethings only - everything's a coffee shop for new parents, a chicken shack, a brunch place with the stereo on too loud etc. We're in boring Zone 3 and the biggest development is a boutique hotel.

Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 4 October 2017 10:27 (six years ago) link

xxp true dat. as though the caricature of the odious 2011 hipster strawman has been co-opted by smaller cities and commuter towns into an aspirational figure. While OG London hipsters feigned individuality, 2017's suburban hipsters WANT to drink in cafes with cartoon moustaches painted on the window as a matter of course.

Shat Parp (dog latin), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 10:32 (six years ago) link

On a different note, while the "ISA" is grating on product packaging and promotional emails, the one place I can't stand it is on job adverts. Seeing '...and we even get to clock off early on the first Friday of every month YA-HOOOOO!!' on a job description definitely puts me off applying. If I wrote my CV like this, I doubt I'd get considered for an interview

Shat Parp (dog latin), Wednesday, 4 October 2017 10:46 (six years ago) link

one month passes...

a big fuck off to Oatly

https://i.imgur.com/AzfV3cY.png

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 28 November 2017 14:26 (six years ago) link

that's p cynical, almost admirably so, at least as far as highlighting many people's blithe barely real interest in "street art"

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 28 November 2017 14:29 (six years ago) link

it caused me vaguely irritably to read the whole thing when i passed it on the bus (which was stopped at that point): so i guess job done!

mark s, Tuesday, 28 November 2017 14:32 (six years ago) link

"hey, maybe you stopped to say just the word 'look' at this wall, thinking it's something you know nothing about and hence could be interesting. well it's not, it's an ad for some fucking oat milk. did you take a photo of it too? you fucking idiot. anyway drink our oat milk."

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 28 November 2017 14:37 (six years ago) link

"oat milk, filling the gaping empty holes riddled through your terrible eternal tourist existence"

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 28 November 2017 14:38 (six years ago) link

i mean to be fair however they advertise this it has to conclude "drink our oat milk" and since that's the actual problem moment for most people they might as well go for broke

mark s, Tuesday, 28 November 2017 14:40 (six years ago) link

like jonathan glazer's ad for flake (not used):
https://vimeo.com/21190241

mark s, Tuesday, 28 November 2017 14:43 (six years ago) link

these self-aware, faux-cringingly-apologetic ads are a fucking scourge

hi i’m darren and i’m a bouncer from bendigo (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 28 November 2017 14:52 (six years ago) link

it also looks like it was designed by someone who’s never actually seen any street art, so it even fails on its own terms ffs

hi i’m darren and i’m a bouncer from bendigo (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 28 November 2017 14:54 (six years ago) link

yeah the font just looks like bakery product #1

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 28 November 2017 14:56 (six years ago) link

a better ad would be "continue to consume oats" with an image depicting a vast trough with people bent double over it, desperately scooping oat milk into their mouth with their hands

Bein' Sean Bean (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 28 November 2017 14:57 (six years ago) link

maybe a factory full of grinning workers, each squeezing an oat between their thumb and forefinger to express the oats’ sweet, precious milk

hi i’m darren and i’m a bouncer from bendigo (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 28 November 2017 15:01 (six years ago) link


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