If I was marooned on on island with a 40 ft container of cheap, processed food, I'd fucking wazz you into the ocean.
― xelab, Thursday, 6 February 2014 23:06 (ten years ago) link
That makes me sad. Old Spice used to be for grown men.
― painfully alive in a drugged and dying culture (DavidM), Friday, 7 February 2014 21:53 (ten years ago) link
Now it's just for groan men...
― And when you f--- up, you go backwards (snoball), Friday, 7 February 2014 21:58 (ten years ago) link
Netflix's new descriptions and automatically generated category blurbs have gone off on a weird kinda tangent with this lately
AUSCHWITZ: INSIDE THE NAZI STATEThe infamous World War II death factory comes to life. Step inside and experience the horror for yourself.
Looking for amotional stories? You've just found one. Lucky you.
― random accies memories (Sgt. Biscuits), Sunday, 9 February 2014 15:34 (ten years ago) link
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Doojo-DOO-A-1008-Sleeve-Blanket-Ferrari/dp/B002BJ7XLC
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/91YXeBQqVZL._SL1500_.jpg
Product DescriptionDoojo about itself:I am actually a normal blanket. However, my inventor always had cold arms and hands, when he fell asleep. This is how he had the idea of giving me hands and arms.The sleeve blanket was born. My hands are detachable.My hobbies are reading, sleeping, watching TV, cuddling, ... and keeping people warm.
Dimensions: 200x150 cm
― j., Wednesday, 12 February 2014 21:53 (ten years ago) link
I think it's not a bad thing to be cold sometimes
― conrad, Thursday, 13 February 2014 09:19 (ten years ago) link
http://metro.co.uk/2014/03/11/argos-helpers-tweet-epic-reply-to-immy-badman-bugti-about-ps4-4525631/
Immy 'BADMAN' Bugti @BadManBugti@Argos_Online YO wen u gettin da ps4 tings in moss side? Ain't waitin no more. Plus da asian guy whu works dere got bare attitude #wasteman Argos Helpers @ArgosHelpersFollow
@BadManBugti Safe badman, we gettin sum more PS4 tings in wivin da next week y'get me. Soz bout da attitude, probz avin a bad day yo. LD
LD
― wank-bond-villain-looking villain, (dog latin), Tuesday, 11 March 2014 13:24 (ten years ago) link
"epic"
― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Tuesday, 11 March 2014 14:10 (ten years ago) link
twitter unsuited to epic form imo
― Prostitute Farm Online (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 11 March 2014 14:10 (ten years ago) link
infuriating
http://i.imgur.com/xYz7oA0.jpg
― Walter Galt, Wednesday, 9 April 2014 10:07 (ten years ago) link
that picture kinda suggests their 'easter extravaganza deal' is a single shitty slice of pizza in a grease-covered box.
― bizarro gazzara, Wednesday, 9 April 2014 10:23 (ten years ago) link
infuriating is the word.
― 1 pONO 3v3Ry+h1n G!!!1 (dog latin), Wednesday, 9 April 2014 10:27 (ten years ago) link
Although I'm often surprised at how fast food companies go for this idea that you order takeaway because 'GODDAMN IT YOU NEED PIZZA RIGHT AWAY OR ELSE YOU'RE GOING TO FLIP THE FUCK OUT!' as opposed to 'Hey, it's Friday night, you've got people round, you can't be bothered to cook and clean-up and besides, eating pizza is fun and tasty' which is what goes through my mind on 90% of the rare occasions I order Papa Johns.
― 1 pONO 3v3Ry+h1n G!!!1 (dog latin), Wednesday, 9 April 2014 10:34 (ten years ago) link
those scattering toppings seem to have come from a different pizza
― two bunny rabbits on mushrooms singing Proclaimers songs (onimo), Wednesday, 9 April 2014 11:42 (ten years ago) link
"Huzzah", "tummy" and "noms" in one blurb? Hats off guys.
― What is wrong with songs? Absolutely nothing. Songs are great. (DL), Wednesday, 9 April 2014 12:28 (ten years ago) link
what my pizza partner and I think about daisy chains is not a matter for the record fyi
― From Tha Crouuuch To Da Palacios (DJ Mencap), Wednesday, 9 April 2014 12:37 (ten years ago) link
wait, are they saying that kittens are sometimes a taste-bud-tingling alternative to a domino's deal?
― bizarro gazzara, Wednesday, 9 April 2014 12:50 (ten years ago) link
We actually had a discussion yesterday about using the "99 problems but a *blank* ain't one" in some marketing web thingy, and I'm now even more glad to say I managed to get the idea nixed. Also it generally just reminds me that they're not using the word "bitch".
― Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 9 April 2014 13:00 (ten years ago) link
i could see 99 problems working in like an RAC advert with a broken down ice cream van
― It's Pablum Time with (NickB), Wednesday, 9 April 2014 13:10 (ten years ago) link
http://www.digitalnewsroom.co.uk/brewdog/dead-pony-portman-group/
― sktsh, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 15:55 (ten years ago) link
yes, this. especially as it's the equivalent of complaining about speed limits or smoking bans.
― koogs, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 16:39 (ten years ago) link
at BrewDog we will just get on with brewing awesome beer and treating our customers like adults.
uh.
― Prostitute Farm Online (Bananaman Begins), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 16:43 (ten years ago) link
there's nothing more punk than cirrhosis
― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 17:46 (ten years ago) link
difficult to get cirrhosis with that one cuz its about 3.7 abv, also not that good
― Little Saint Hugh of Lincoln (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 17:47 (ten years ago) link
pretty sure i'm never going to pay what they ask for one of those fuckers and find out
― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 17:48 (ten years ago) link
their punk ipa (ikr) is nice, four of those and a box of guylian chocolate seashells was a nice supper
dont mind their confrontational tone in that release but fuck off with 'awesome', although at least they didn't use 'awesomeness'
― Little Saint Hugh of Lincoln (nakhchivan), Tuesday, 29 April 2014 17:51 (ten years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUusL43R_EE
BrewDog has never really appealed to me because I always thought it was some Australian thing and anyway most of their beers seem to range from 10% to 40%, which adds needless complication to drinking. This is the first I've heard that it's a Scottish thing, so I guess I should support local produce, though I still don't need complication. Their reply to whatever it is they're replying to doesn't bother me though. Well said, even.
― Eyeball Kicks, Tuesday, 29 April 2014 23:09 (ten years ago) link
Brewdog = somewhere in the middle of a triangle, where each point is a concept, drawn between 'the innocent smoothie aesthetic', 'hip young professionals' and the 'real ale fans' from Viz
― cardamon, Wednesday, 30 April 2014 22:31 (ten years ago) link
http://www.clipartbest.com/cliparts/jRT/Gnk/jRTGnkEiL.png
― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 1 May 2014 06:10 (ten years ago) link
two people just got on the tube and tried to convince everyone to do the conga because it meant they would win £200 in their office competition. everyone was just looking a bit mute and then they started going "come on guys, let's do the conga" and I snapped a bit and told them to fuck off. then inevitably got accused of having no sense of fun, which may well be true for all the fuck I car. piss off and leave everyone alone!
― Fizzles, Thursday, 1 May 2014 17:49 (ten years ago) link
snapping "fuck off" at wankers on the Tube is my idea of fun tbh
― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 1 May 2014 21:13 (ten years ago) link
Presumably anyone who's been to the Midlands lately has seen this:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BkSH7WsIIAAcMC3.jpg
I mean, sweet Jesus...
― Matt DC, Thursday, 1 May 2014 21:21 (ten years ago) link
oh god yes i think Joel saw it when we went to mom and dad's over Easter then we had a discussion about the Innocent Smoothies aesthetic and he agreed it was deeply fucking irritating
― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 1 May 2014 21:22 (ten years ago) link
On the virgin pendolinos there's a disembodied voice actually reads that out to you when you lock the toilet door
― sktsh, Thursday, 1 May 2014 21:33 (ten years ago) link
― you poll a lot, but you're not saying anything (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 1 May 2014 06:10 (16 hours ago) Permalinktwo people just got on the tube and tried to convince everyone to do the conga because it meant they would win £200 in their office competition. everyone was just looking a bit mute and then they started going "come on guys, let's do the conga" and I snapped a bit and told them to fuck off. then inevitably got accused of having no sense of fun, which may well be true for all the fuck I car. piss off and leave everyone alone!
Marry me?
― Prostitute Farm Online (Bananaman Begins), Thursday, 1 May 2014 22:34 (ten years ago) link
and if you like you can buy the ring...
― i lost my shoes on acid (jed_), Friday, 2 May 2014 01:21 (ten years ago) link
It just doesn't work. Quirky notices on something as functional as a train toilet
― cardamon, Sunday, 4 May 2014 21:32 (ten years ago) link
Maybe not quite the IS aesthetic, but I'm upgrading a laptop to Windows 8.1 today and there's currently a message saying 'Setting up a few more things'. Really, Microsoft? Why not just be honest and say 'This is going to take a long arse time. Suck it.'
― an office job is as secure as a Weetabix padlock (snoball), Sunday, 11 May 2014 10:02 (ten years ago) link
"Taking care of a few things" - yes I'm sure you are, Microsoft. Meanwhile, you've turned a £300 laptop into a colour changing mood light.
― an office job is as secure as a Weetabix padlock (snoball), Sunday, 11 May 2014 10:18 (ten years ago) link
I love how you're just supposed to accept everything, based on their say-so. Most people do, especially the older or less experienced folks.
― I am Sporadicus! (I M Losted), Sunday, 11 May 2014 14:43 (ten years ago) link
― Fizzles, Thursday, May 1, 2014 12:49 PM
'what's my cut?'
― j., Sunday, 11 May 2014 15:07 (ten years ago) link
http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2014/5/28/1401284044412/Stephen-Collins-31-May-001.jpg
― kinder, Saturday, 31 May 2014 12:09 (nine years ago) link
I'm alarmed by the way this aesthetic seems to be cross-pollinating with FASTER YOU FUCKERS style edicts to think positively and be active
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sZ9G1JHwyg
― Groovy Wordbender (soref), Saturday, 31 May 2014 12:27 (nine years ago) link
those awful B&Q adverts probably qualify as well
― Groovy Wordbender (soref), Saturday, 31 May 2014 12:28 (nine years ago) link
i came here to post that cartoon 8)
― koogs, Saturday, 31 May 2014 15:29 (nine years ago) link
https://www.google.co.uk/logos/doodles/2014/world-cup-2014-9-and-fathers-day-5439838778032128.3-hp.gif
― Little Saint Hugh of Lincoln (nakhchivan), Sunday, 15 June 2014 02:15 (nine years ago) link
Those FIFA ads on tv are some Innocent Smoothies-esque tweeness
― everyday sheeple (Michael B), Sunday, 15 June 2014 04:23 (nine years ago) link
I can't understand why no ad exec has had an advert where some charmless becardiganed nit has his ukulele smashed to pieces by the object of his affection.
― now I'm the grandfather (dog latin), Sunday, 15 June 2014 06:58 (nine years ago) link
https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5073/14535593834_399a8f5810.jpg
― koogs, Sunday, 29 June 2014 20:42 (nine years ago) link