Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

n/m

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 12:59 (twelve years ago) link

Possibly cf with the ILM Noah and the Whale thread, actually.

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:00 (twelve years ago) link

it probably would if their smoothies weren't actually head and shoulders above the competition.

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:01 (twelve years ago) link

Not really. Although I suppose as part of (precursor to?) the whole twee countryside picnic Waitrose type adverts with some warbling accoustic number in the background I can see how it could grate a bit.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:02 (twelve years ago) link

oh xp, 'cos yes their xmoothies are (mostly) very good.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:02 (twelve years ago) link

I used to have to deal with their marketing department on a regular basis, and they were uber-cynical cunts of the highest order, even by marketing department standards.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:03 (twelve years ago) link

xpost huh
also i think every supermarket now has a generic smoothie line with the damn-near exact same packaging aesthetic.

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:04 (twelve years ago) link

Snakes On A Plane!

DJ Mencap, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:04 (twelve years ago) link

The aesthetic is repellent and the drinks are insanely over-priced bollocks so yes just a bit.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:05 (twelve years ago) link

^^^somerfield

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:06 (twelve years ago) link

xp
Not going to their picnic then?

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:06 (twelve years ago) link

This Water (tm) is full of the lovingly squeezed juice of forty-eight cranberries OK WE GET IT I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND 2 QUID ON A SMALL BOTTLE OF FRUIT

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:08 (twelve years ago) link

Earl Okins playing...

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:09 (twelve years ago) link

...at the picnic that is.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:09 (twelve years ago) link

yes wtf with this water

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:09 (twelve years ago) link

This is what happens when you let Belle and Sebastian fans into the food and drink industry.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:10 (twelve years ago) link

They invented it and then everyone else ripped it off. I didn't mind it when they did it.

But when everything you buy these days has got a section in their packaging saying "Hello you, welcome to the side of the packet! My name is Tad Fadley's new urban wenge and did you know that I am made out of 100% pure organic smugness. The scrummy goo inside me was personally farted out through the buttocks of a lovely young homosexual called Jason - MmmmmMMM! Oh it's delicious, drink me drink me! I'd really like to know what you think of me so drop me a letter, fax or even a tattooed baby (LOL! JKS!) of what you think. If you have a phone you can actually speak to Jason himself while he shits into a vat of pure untreated fairtrade effluent." it gets rather annoying, yeah.

the next grozart, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:11 (twelve years ago) link

I couldn't tell whether this was a musical subgenre or a category of porn.

jaymc, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:11 (twelve years ago) link

"The people at Innocent deal with the fruit-based products, and This Water with the water-based ones." - actual comment on bottle of This Water I once regrettably bought

(both Innocent and This Water deal with fruit-and-water-based products)

lol DL

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:12 (twelve years ago) link

I just get annoyed by so much other stuff, this is pretty far down the list.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:13 (twelve years ago) link

dude i used to work with tried to jump ship to their marketing department AND FAILED HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DG, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:14 (twelve years ago) link

Tad Fadley's new urban wenge

Oh for the days etc

DJ Mencap, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:15 (twelve years ago) link

Soft drinks as I know and understand them.

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:16 (twelve years ago) link

who gives a fuck about this

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:18 (twelve years ago) link

No, this is the real shit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thxAqdxGSPU

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:18 (twelve years ago) link

I inadvertently found myself at their picnic a few years ago. Ruined my afternoon in the park. Fuckers.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:19 (twelve years ago) link

And they're charging for it this year. Double fuckers.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:19 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5F23TxSpZk

I would drink all this orange pop

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:20 (twelve years ago) link

i had a smoothie phase, but after deciding to cut down on sugar i am back on the cherry coke

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:20 (twelve years ago) link

Cresta: The blackcurrent beverage that induces strokes.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:20 (twelve years ago) link

^ Xpost! LOLZ. Lolz at phrase 'warbling acoustic number'.
Yeah Innocent Smoothies....I'm just waiting for the Ribena (notsotoothkind) style scandal to happen.
"Hello you, welcome to the side of the packet! My name is Tad Fadley's new urban wenge and did you know that I am made out of 100% pure organic smugness. The scrummy goo inside me was personally farted out through the buttocks of a lovely young homosexual called Jason - MmmmmMMM! Oh it's delicious, drink me drink me! I'd really like to know what you think of me so drop me a letter, fax or even a tattooed baby (LOL! JKS!) of what you think. If you have a phone you can actually speak to Jason himself while he shits into a vat of pure untreated fairtrade effluent." it gets rather annoying, yeahHahaha
But like Ned says, this is irritating but not as much as many other things.

VeronaInTheClub, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:21 (twelve years ago) link

I miss the 70s and I want to go back there right now. This century fucking sucks.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:21 (twelve years ago) link

When did adverts stop trying to be hip? Those Noodle ones are grebt

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:22 (twelve years ago) link

I am an unashamed Innocent fan.

Scik Mouthy, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:23 (twelve years ago) link

"It's frothy at the mouth, man!"

Mark G, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:23 (twelve years ago) link

xpost now I have the Billy Joel song in my head!

Mark G, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:23 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah, back to the seventies with its needless foreign wars and epidemics of knife crime in our streets.

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:24 (twelve years ago) link

I was going to poll every flavour of Rubicon earlier this week and never got round to it.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:25 (twelve years ago) link

matt dc - do it!

the next grozart, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:28 (twelve years ago) link

100% pure organic smugness.

I'm all for eating fresh stuff, but this kind of twee bollocks just makes me want to smoke a carton of R0thmans, drink six Red Bulls, and eat a kebab containing Alsatian meat cooked rare.

snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:28 (twelve years ago) link

i had a smoothie phase, but after deciding to cut down on sugar i am back on the cherry coke

er...

CharlieNo4, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:29 (twelve years ago) link

It must be good for you, it's got cherries in it.

snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:32 (twelve years ago) link

Diet Coke = no sugar
Smoothies = a whole shitload of sugar

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:33 (twelve years ago) link

Diet Coke = no meaning in the universe

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:33 (twelve years ago) link

^OTM

Ed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:34 (twelve years ago) link

People who don't like Diet Coke should just kill themselves, imo

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:36 (twelve years ago) link

Don't tell me, I only drink any of that shit as a mixer.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:36 (twelve years ago) link

Srsly shit ALL TASTES THE SAME

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:36 (twelve years ago) link

The Southern Impact Team were excited on Friday and making preparations to celebrate National Onion Day on the Saturday (yep - apparently this is actually a thing).
Whilst on patrol in the Arbury; hoping to find more onion enthusiasts, they instead came across a car linked to County Lines Drug Dealing.
Whilst the officers had a "spring" in their step, the occupants of the car appeared to be peeling rather nervous.
The vehicle was searched, with several wraps of Class A drugs recovered, a large amount of cash, and more worryingly, a TASER disguised as a torch.
Despite the pair protesting their innocence shallot, they were in something of a pickle and arrested.
There were tears from one of the suspects, and the officers didn't want to keep going onion about it so transported them to Parkside Custody.
During a strip search the driver of the vehicle was found with a further bundle of Class A wraps in his pants, which didn't quite onion ring true with the rest of his story.
Both were interviewed and released under investigation.

#OpRaptor #WeHateDrugsShallot #AllCardsOnTheVegeTable #RingThePolice #PeelySilly #InAPickle #DryYourEyes #StrangePlaceToKeepYourDrugs #DontShineTheTorchInYourFaceByAccident #SOUTHERNIMPACTTEAM

Fuck offffffffffffffffffff

Keir’d flex (wins), Tuesday, 30 June 2020 12:52 (four months ago) link

what in the world

maf you one two (maffew12), Tuesday, 30 June 2020 13:23 (four months ago) link

two months pass...

lmao oatly have sold out to amazon-destroying venture capital monsters blackstone and their social media team are tying themselves in knots trying to justify it to their many angry customers

(2/3) We know that as a relatively small oat drink company, we can’t solve the global challenge of combating climate change alone. To succeed, we’re convinced that everyone needs to start somewhere to make changes - and this includes private equity.

— OatlyUK (@OatlyUK) August 31, 2020

scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 31 August 2020 14:12 (two months ago) link

lol ethical capitalism

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Monday, 31 August 2020 14:16 (two months ago) link

but what if could change the system from the inside? and if we get rich while doing it, well... money won't change me! i've got principles!

scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 31 August 2020 14:29 (two months ago) link

For a very brief moment I thought that you meant Amazon the company rather than Amazon the rainforest there bizarro and I got a flash of excitement at the existence of a venture capital monster that could destroy them. Then I felt sad when I realised the obvious actual meaning.

brain (krakow), Monday, 31 August 2020 14:32 (two months ago) link

Of course, a venture capital monster that could destroy Amazon (the company, not the rainforest) would probably be de facto even more horrific than Amazon themselves, but still it was a nice little daydream for a split second.

brain (krakow), Monday, 31 August 2020 14:34 (two months ago) link

sorry 4 false hope, we are in fact still doomed, perhaps even a little more than we were before

scampo, foggy and clegg (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 31 August 2020 14:40 (two months ago) link

Not to worry. If I drew cartoons it gave me an idea for a bad one.

Panel one: Angry protest outside the corporate headquarters of "Venture Capital Corp.", with protestors carrying signs saying "Amazon-destroying monsters!", "Save the Amazon!" etc.

Panel two: Bulldozers etc. (branded with "Venture Capital Corp.") in midst of destroying an Amazon.com warehouse.

brain (krakow), Tuesday, 1 September 2020 10:51 (two months ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Eg8cpDMXYAEXpG-?format=jpg

Number None, Thursday, 3 September 2020 07:19 (two months ago) link

oh my fucking god

this is my clean tone (NickB), Thursday, 3 September 2020 07:26 (two months ago) link

think i probably hate a good 70% of those things

this is my clean tone (NickB), Thursday, 3 September 2020 07:30 (two months ago) link

that doesn’t even count any more imo, that’s just standard british “relatable” adspeak.

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 3 September 2020 07:34 (two months ago) link

yeah it's not quite cuddly enough but on the other hand maybe we just live in an Innocent Smoothies world now

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 September 2020 08:00 (two months ago) link

I hear that advert read by Renton ala his iconic/ironic voiceover monologue in Trainspotting ("Choose Life" etc). Does this kind of thing stem from there, or elsewhere?

brain (krakow), Thursday, 3 September 2020 08:39 (two months ago) link

It could also be done in the style of 'Fitter Happier' from OK Computer.

brain (krakow), Thursday, 3 September 2020 08:41 (two months ago) link

interpellation just isn't as subtle as it used to be

A Short Film About Scampoes (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 3 September 2020 08:43 (two months ago) link

krakow i think you could be right about that

if so it's another example of the classic evolution of satirical irony congealing into earnestness through years of overuse cf. every one of coogan's 'saxondale' mannerisms

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 3 September 2020 09:14 (two months ago) link

I hear that advert read by Renton ala his iconic/ironic voiceover monologue in Trainspotting ("Choose Life" etc)

ha, you weren't the only person who thought that:

Choose death pic.twitter.com/ub5NL3Sa3V

— Irvine Welsh (@IrvineWelsh) September 3, 2020

this is my clean tone (NickB), Thursday, 3 September 2020 14:15 (two months ago) link

"Proper bants"?

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 3 September 2020 14:50 (two months ago) link

Proper bants for a proper job

kinder, Thursday, 3 September 2020 15:14 (two months ago) link

The result of that layout is that I keep reading 'plastic pants' and wondering what the hell I'm missing in the World of Work

kinder, Thursday, 3 September 2020 15:15 (two months ago) link

listing random shit is not marketing

doorstep jetski (dog latin), Thursday, 3 September 2020 15:21 (two months ago) link

"What is the DEAL with office carpets? So weird"

doorstep jetski (dog latin), Thursday, 3 September 2020 15:22 (two months ago) link

1) listing
2) random shit
3) is
4) totally marketing!
5) LYSOL DOUCHE

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Thursday, 3 September 2020 15:26 (two months ago) link

Love me a buzzword

doorstep jetski (dog latin), Thursday, 3 September 2020 15:31 (two months ago) link

I did have a little chuckle when I saw Irvine Welsh's tweet.

brain (krakow), Friday, 4 September 2020 17:51 (two months ago) link

This is soooo much better. Thanks @TheGreenParty pic.twitter.com/fczDuzBjpO

— Katy Beale (@katybeale) September 4, 2020

syphilitic wolf prose errata (Hadrian VIII), Saturday, 5 September 2020 12:46 (two months ago) link

Absolutely no buzzwords, boss jokes or proper bants

The Green Party clearly don't have bloody Skype conference calls or Microsoft Teams.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Saturday, 5 September 2020 12:56 (two months ago) link

I think the green party is promising you they'll not bant around.

koogs, Saturday, 5 September 2020 13:56 (two months ago) link

No bants, no tricks.

emil.y, Saturday, 5 September 2020 14:57 (two months ago) link

three weeks pass...

https://i.ibb.co/r7gjHCP/20200927-164341.jpg

here we go, ten in a rona (onimo), Sunday, 27 September 2020 15:46 (one month ago) link

what app is it?

sarahell, Sunday, 27 September 2020 19:37 (one month ago) link

Train Line - like where you check train times and order tickets 🤷🏻‍♂️

here we go, ten in a rona (onimo), Sunday, 27 September 2020 20:16 (one month ago) link

lol

sarahell, Sunday, 27 September 2020 20:27 (one month ago) link

it's asking for feedback...

koogs, Sunday, 27 September 2020 20:42 (one month ago) link

What you’ll be doing at Pace

Taking on and responding to a variety of fast-paced client briefs; from designing a short gif, to creating a fresh animation style to bring a campaign to life
You’ll be working within the design team on exciting new pitches and client briefs, across a range of sectors
You’ll be bringing content to life with bold, stand-out creativity across various platforms, from advertising to social media
You’ll be working with a team of energetic, outgoing folk who are not just passionate about what they do as individuals, but who root for one another in their own specialisms and disciplines
You’ll be part of a purpose-led team that has a real commitment to positively impacting society and the environment
You’ll be having a laugh, every single day at work. Because the Pace team like to laugh, loudly. Just ask our neighbours!

Perks of the job

We’re based in Hull’s creative centre in the Fruit Market. So, imagine leisurely lunch-time walks around the Marina and a cheeky drink after work down Humber Street.
You’ll get your birthday off plus 25 days annual leave plus public holidays every year
You’ll be part of the company-wide bonus scheme.
You’ll enjoy lots of team events
And biscuits (we love biscuits). And coffee. And cake. And our office dog, Tilly.

1000 Scampo DJs (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 1 October 2020 10:43 (one month ago) link

When do you start?

Dadjokke (Sgt. Biscuits), Thursday, 1 October 2020 11:01 (one month ago) link

that's... not the worst i've seen, i'll admit

Specific Ocean Blue (dog latin), Thursday, 1 October 2020 11:12 (one month ago) link

Working on the loudness of my laugh before I apply

1000 Scampo DJs (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 1 October 2020 11:12 (one month ago) link

the thrusting, gif-making young laughers of humber street

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 1 October 2020 11:37 (one month ago) link

Just ask our neighbours!

This is going to be a future lockdown horror story isn’t it

seumas milm (gyac), Thursday, 1 October 2020 11:45 (one month ago) link

You got a loud laugh, girl!

📺👁️ (peace, man), Thursday, 1 October 2020 11:47 (one month ago) link

https://www.fgr.co.uk/news/october-2020/news-innocent-secure-stadium-naming-rights

However, until then - and for one game only - it will officially be named the ‘innocent [insert name here] stadium. The club has even erected a new sign above the main entrance.

here we go, ten in a rona (onimo), Friday, 2 October 2020 08:39 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

“We’ve missed you, Tracer”

no you fucking haven’t. you literally have not missed me. there is a database field that today’s date has triggered, and you are sending me a mailshot to try and weasel a little bit of money out of me to make this month’s figures look good so that you can boast to your colleagues and feel better about yourself on the 6:43 commuter service to radlett you disingenuous piece of...... i’m arguing with software but you get my point

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Friday, 20 November 2020 07:38 (three days ago) link

i got annoyed once when an automated station announcement said "i am sorry for the late running of this service". you're not sorry you're just a pre recorded message! "we are sorry..." i could accept.

the 120 days of sod 'em (ledge), Friday, 20 November 2020 09:07 (three days ago) link

This reminds me of the train carriage signs that say something like "I am coach b, I am proud that I look and smell nice but if you have any concerns then you can let my bosses know by texting this number"

or something, Friday, 20 November 2020 10:10 (three days ago) link

"ah'm no a grass, coach b"

J.G Ballard otm (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 20 November 2020 10:47 (three days ago) link

this is close enough to the same thing to post it here instead of "worst TV ads"

the recent Asda ads have all been pretty brutal, featuring a delightfully quirky buffoon who loves Asda so much he makes stan videos for them, but there's one current one where the spokesclown thanks Asda for all they're doing to keep people safe during the pandemic, so we have an advert for Asda, paid for by Asda, where we're invited to praise Asda for their awesomeness. somehow this just seems next level.

Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 November 2020 11:11 (three days ago) link

him and his disgustingly cute family, prostituting themselves for Asda/Walmart

Neil S, Friday, 20 November 2020 13:39 (three days ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.