Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

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n/m

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 12:59 (eleven years ago) link

Possibly cf with the ILM Noah and the Whale thread, actually.

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:00 (eleven years ago) link

it probably would if their smoothies weren't actually head and shoulders above the competition.

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:01 (eleven years ago) link

Not really. Although I suppose as part of (precursor to?) the whole twee countryside picnic Waitrose type adverts with some warbling accoustic number in the background I can see how it could grate a bit.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:02 (eleven years ago) link

oh xp, 'cos yes their xmoothies are (mostly) very good.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:02 (eleven years ago) link

I used to have to deal with their marketing department on a regular basis, and they were uber-cynical cunts of the highest order, even by marketing department standards.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:03 (eleven years ago) link

xpost huh
also i think every supermarket now has a generic smoothie line with the damn-near exact same packaging aesthetic.

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:04 (eleven years ago) link

Snakes On A Plane!

DJ Mencap, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:04 (eleven years ago) link

The aesthetic is repellent and the drinks are insanely over-priced bollocks so yes just a bit.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:05 (eleven years ago) link

^^^somerfield

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:06 (eleven years ago) link

xp
Not going to their picnic then?

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:06 (eleven years ago) link

This Water (tm) is full of the lovingly squeezed juice of forty-eight cranberries OK WE GET IT I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND 2 QUID ON A SMALL BOTTLE OF FRUIT

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:08 (eleven years ago) link

Earl Okins playing...

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:09 (eleven years ago) link

...at the picnic that is.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:09 (eleven years ago) link

yes wtf with this water

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:09 (eleven years ago) link

This is what happens when you let Belle and Sebastian fans into the food and drink industry.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:10 (eleven years ago) link

They invented it and then everyone else ripped it off. I didn't mind it when they did it.

But when everything you buy these days has got a section in their packaging saying "Hello you, welcome to the side of the packet! My name is Tad Fadley's new urban wenge and did you know that I am made out of 100% pure organic smugness. The scrummy goo inside me was personally farted out through the buttocks of a lovely young homosexual called Jason - MmmmmMMM! Oh it's delicious, drink me drink me! I'd really like to know what you think of me so drop me a letter, fax or even a tattooed baby (LOL! JKS!) of what you think. If you have a phone you can actually speak to Jason himself while he shits into a vat of pure untreated fairtrade effluent." it gets rather annoying, yeah.

the next grozart, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:11 (eleven years ago) link

I couldn't tell whether this was a musical subgenre or a category of porn.

jaymc, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:11 (eleven years ago) link

"The people at Innocent deal with the fruit-based products, and This Water with the water-based ones." - actual comment on bottle of This Water I once regrettably bought

(both Innocent and This Water deal with fruit-and-water-based products)

lol DL

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:12 (eleven years ago) link

I just get annoyed by so much other stuff, this is pretty far down the list.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:13 (eleven years ago) link

dude i used to work with tried to jump ship to their marketing department AND FAILED HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DG, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:14 (eleven years ago) link

Tad Fadley's new urban wenge

Oh for the days etc

DJ Mencap, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:15 (eleven years ago) link

Soft drinks as I know and understand them.

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:16 (eleven years ago) link

who gives a fuck about this

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:18 (eleven years ago) link

No, this is the real shit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thxAqdxGSPU

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:18 (eleven years ago) link

I inadvertently found myself at their picnic a few years ago. Ruined my afternoon in the park. Fuckers.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:19 (eleven years ago) link

And they're charging for it this year. Double fuckers.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:19 (eleven years ago) link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5F23TxSpZk

I would drink all this orange pop

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:20 (eleven years ago) link

i had a smoothie phase, but after deciding to cut down on sugar i am back on the cherry coke

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:20 (eleven years ago) link

Cresta: The blackcurrent beverage that induces strokes.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:20 (eleven years ago) link

^ Xpost! LOLZ. Lolz at phrase 'warbling acoustic number'.
Yeah Innocent Smoothies....I'm just waiting for the Ribena (notsotoothkind) style scandal to happen.
"Hello you, welcome to the side of the packet! My name is Tad Fadley's new urban wenge and did you know that I am made out of 100% pure organic smugness. The scrummy goo inside me was personally farted out through the buttocks of a lovely young homosexual called Jason - MmmmmMMM! Oh it's delicious, drink me drink me! I'd really like to know what you think of me so drop me a letter, fax or even a tattooed baby (LOL! JKS!) of what you think. If you have a phone you can actually speak to Jason himself while he shits into a vat of pure untreated fairtrade effluent." it gets rather annoying, yeahHahaha
But like Ned says, this is irritating but not as much as many other things.

VeronaInTheClub, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:21 (eleven years ago) link

I miss the 70s and I want to go back there right now. This century fucking sucks.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:21 (eleven years ago) link

When did adverts stop trying to be hip? Those Noodle ones are grebt

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:22 (eleven years ago) link

I am an unashamed Innocent fan.

Scik Mouthy, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:23 (eleven years ago) link

"It's frothy at the mouth, man!"

Mark G, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:23 (eleven years ago) link

xpost now I have the Billy Joel song in my head!

Mark G, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:23 (eleven years ago) link

Yeah, back to the seventies with its needless foreign wars and epidemics of knife crime in our streets.

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:24 (eleven years ago) link

I was going to poll every flavour of Rubicon earlier this week and never got round to it.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:25 (eleven years ago) link

matt dc - do it!

the next grozart, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:28 (eleven years ago) link

100% pure organic smugness.

I'm all for eating fresh stuff, but this kind of twee bollocks just makes me want to smoke a carton of R0thmans, drink six Red Bulls, and eat a kebab containing Alsatian meat cooked rare.

snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:28 (eleven years ago) link

i had a smoothie phase, but after deciding to cut down on sugar i am back on the cherry coke

er...

CharlieNo4, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:29 (eleven years ago) link

It must be good for you, it's got cherries in it.

snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:32 (eleven years ago) link

Diet Coke = no sugar
Smoothies = a whole shitload of sugar

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:33 (eleven years ago) link

Diet Coke = no meaning in the universe

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:33 (eleven years ago) link

^OTM

Ed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:34 (eleven years ago) link

People who don't like Diet Coke should just kill themselves, imo

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:36 (eleven years ago) link

Don't tell me, I only drink any of that shit as a mixer.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:36 (eleven years ago) link

Srsly shit ALL TASTES THE SAME

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:36 (eleven years ago) link

it's been horrible

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f8pA5qZGzo&feature=emb_title

the Swedish taboo (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 21 January 2020 12:56 (five months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7f8pA5qZGzo

the Swedish taboo (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 21 January 2020 12:57 (five months ago) link

next level basic, baby ;_;

the Swedish taboo (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 21 January 2020 12:58 (five months ago) link

Oatly's obnoxious ads are on every bus stop locally at the moment, including directly opposite my flat. Thankfully I think of this thread every time I see them, which helps offset the daily horror.

brain (krakow), Tuesday, 21 January 2020 14:37 (five months ago) link

stealing that image upthread for most 2020 images

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Tuesday, 21 January 2020 18:04 (five months ago) link

New snack at work being shared as artisanal low calorie food. “Pork Clouds”. Same fucking pork skins you find in any gas station east of the Mississippi. Except in a black bag...with some justified type. https://t.co/odxgBEmjMK pic.twitter.com/nTQGGFGg6T

— Lucidbeaming (@lucidbeaming) January 22, 2020

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Wednesday, 22 January 2020 23:45 (five months ago) link

out of interest are these what would be called pork scratchings in the UK? it looks like it.

Fizzles, Saturday, 25 January 2020 20:57 (five months ago) link

Yes

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Saturday, 25 January 2020 22:28 (five months ago) link

one month passes...

https://digitalcontent.api.tesco.com/v2/media/ghs/7c9426f2-d16f-4c62-9ab0-9adb7004f338/b2bb2455-2bdd-471e-ba91-608cef6f82f0.jpeg?h=540&w=540

glad to be a doomed miserable alcoholic when I come across deplorable twee bullshit like this when doing online booze-shop on Tesco

calzino, Monday, 2 March 2020 01:00 (four months ago) link

one month passes...

different but similar... (thread)

a couple months ago, a fellow millennial colleague and I tried to explain the 'whimsy' fad of the early 2000s to our gen Z colleague. we were like, you don't understand how bad it was. we participated in public pillow fights — we did graffiti that said 'you are beautiful' —

— fangmeli (@pangmeli) March 31, 2020


to this day I cringe when I see something with the same spiritual circuitry as that fad, like 'little free libraries' or strangers in opposite high-rise buildings sending messages to each other via signs in their windows

— fangmeli (@pangmeli) March 31, 2020


I think that fad feels shameful to me because it's a confluence of things I don't believe in anymore — pushing intimacy instead of letting it grow at its own pace, performing community/connectivity instead of building it, seeing boundaries as obstructive instead of protective etc

— fangmeli (@pangmeli) March 31, 2020

𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Thursday, 2 April 2020 22:10 (three months ago) link

it's a performance alright - I mean re: all this this nauseating happy clappy bullshit in the UK. You voted for the tories now it is the time to take your medicine. Good things can grow in communities but this feels so forced and awkward and dishonest. Just crude propagandist denialism at a time when they should be putting all that energy into building gallows!

calzino, Thursday, 2 April 2020 22:23 (three months ago) link

otm

budo jeru, Thursday, 2 April 2020 22:27 (three months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Oh no, it's still here.

wow who knew buying vegan bacon could make me feel this disgusted in myself pic.twitter.com/ve2CDLrD2Y

— Vex Ashley 🩸 (@vextape) April 29, 2020

emil.y, Wednesday, 29 April 2020 18:35 (two months ago) link

if anything the lockdown should generate more of this shit

clap for content-providers (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 29 April 2020 19:14 (two months ago) link

My god, the PUNCTUATION alone on that thing...

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Wednesday, 29 April 2020 19:19 (two months ago) link

we want you to nom nom it too

This is egregious and repulsive.

Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Thursday, 30 April 2020 04:28 (two months ago) link

jesus christ

Fuck the NRA (ulysses), Monday, 4 May 2020 14:42 (two months ago) link

what

doorstep jetski (dog latin), Monday, 4 May 2020 18:25 (two months ago) link

wasn't expecting this, went to order directly from Dodax to avoid Amazon .
" Your order has been placed!
You did everything right, now it’s on us to verify and process. Checking the arrival of your payment and other boring stuff we’re glad our bookkeeping department does it for us. As soon as we have their GO we’ll go.
We appreciate your trust in our nimbly hands and promise we’ll do our best to send your items soonest possible. One item is ready, one item gets the move on! (Perhaps devided into several shipments.)
Below you can see a short summarization of your order – aka anticipation list.
As soon as your items are leaving our hands you’ll receive another notification. "

That is that aesthetic isn't it?

Stevolende, Saturday, 9 May 2020 17:07 (one month ago) link

oh yes

Flaneuring Bevan (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 9 May 2020 17:10 (one month ago) link

among outdoor product retailers, moosejaw.com also fully subscribes to this tweeness-used-as-a-joke-without-humor aesthetic.

A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 9 May 2020 18:22 (one month ago) link

'our nimbly hands' fuck right off

Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Saturday, 9 May 2020 19:57 (one month ago) link

for the sake of my mental health, i do not want to read the word "awesomesauce" in the context of a psychotherapy practice

sarahell, Sunday, 10 May 2020 17:36 (one month ago) link

two weeks pass...

Wackaging is a new term for me but this fits the bill

Is there any sector so sullied by #wackaging as the granola industry? What is it about the hawking of clustered oats that provokes such purple prose? pic.twitter.com/EbsjOzSHdh

— Max Tundra (@MaxTundra) May 29, 2020

BRAVE THE AFRIAD (onimo), Friday, 29 May 2020 12:02 (one month ago) link

ugh I want to smash that box

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Friday, 29 May 2020 12:46 (one month ago) link

The word "wackaging" makes me ill. It's somehow nearly as bad as the thing itself.

trishyb, Friday, 29 May 2020 17:00 (one month ago) link

White guys of a certain age who love old school Hip Hop are up there with aging Wellers

Children of Bo-Dom (Noodle Vague), Friday, 29 May 2020 17:02 (one month ago) link

The package design and branding messaging on it are not appealing to me, but Max Tundra does not know what "purple prose" is. This example doesn't land anywhere close to "purple prose".

A is for (Aimless), Friday, 29 May 2020 17:07 (one month ago) link

the only purple prose is his text !

budo jeru, Friday, 29 May 2020 17:08 (one month ago) link

this isn't exactly the right thread, but does anybody feel like helping me pinpoint real-world examples of the creepy faux-rustic aesthetic of Village Brand food in number six's kitchen ? do we have a thread where we talk about the conspicuous inconspicuousness of generic brands that evoke ye olde general store / simpler times and feature uber-simple / sleek design + crude cutesy drawings of benevolent objects ?

https://i.imgur.com/bxbkOCH.png

trader joe's sort of ?

budo jeru, Wednesday, 3 June 2020 12:32 (one month ago) link

johnny trunk had a similar book out as well iirc. something about biscuits.

koogs, Wednesday, 3 June 2020 13:39 (one month ago) link

lol, that was the trunk book.

koogs, Wednesday, 3 June 2020 13:40 (one month ago) link

that egg is from the late '50s I don't want to nom nom it

i will FP you and your entire family (rip van wanko), Wednesday, 3 June 2020 15:19 (one month ago) link

xp thanks koogs

budo jeru, Wednesday, 3 June 2020 16:35 (one month ago) link

these are the trunk biscuits i was thinking of (a cd of jingles)

https://www.trunkrecords.com/turntable/biscuits.shtml

koogs, Wednesday, 3 June 2020 16:52 (one month ago) link

The Sainsburys archive is great. Sure we were discussing it somewhere.
https://www.sainsburyarchive.org.uk/timeline/150

kinder, Wednesday, 3 June 2020 17:23 (one month ago) link

https://www.imgur.com/QILYj9k.jpeg

conrad, Wednesday, 17 June 2020 15:13 (two weeks ago) link

oh my god FUCK OFF

Yanni Xenakis (Hadrian VIII), Wednesday, 17 June 2020 15:26 (two weeks ago) link

I'm sure the Bangladeshi sweatshop workers making their jackets appreciate that message 🙃

Neil S, Wednesday, 17 June 2020 15:27 (two weeks ago) link

Twattery of the highest order, Coco Pops possibly the worst single infringement

Ivan Scampo (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 17 June 2020 15:32 (two weeks ago) link

Altho urging people to read as if any old shite is somehow improving always gets a rise out of me too

Ivan Scampo (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 17 June 2020 15:33 (two weeks ago) link

the fake-working-class remember-the-80s aspects of the ISA grind my gears, but "drink good coffee" is real mask off stuff.

𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Wednesday, 17 June 2020 18:04 (two weeks ago) link

Fuck you pic.twitter.com/vDSfK361bw

— Shrieking Tinman (@phased_bemused) June 23, 2020

calzino, Tuesday, 23 June 2020 18:46 (one week ago) link

Love to see the phrase "wee wee wee" on something I'm about to drink

kinder, Tuesday, 23 June 2020 21:14 (one week ago) link

I just opened up a new pack of uncompostable, non-biodegradable trash bags, from a regular degular brand (Brabantia) and when I unfolded the first one I saw that it had words written on the side:

“MAKING ROOM FOR BIGGER DREAMS”

what??

Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Tuesday, 23 June 2020 21:29 (one week ago) link

Xp
What a truly horrible label, it probably isn't true innocent smoothies aesthetic, but seriously what kind of a wanker would do that to a malbec?

calzino, Tuesday, 23 June 2020 21:47 (one week ago) link

The Southern Impact Team were excited on Friday and making preparations to celebrate National Onion Day on the Saturday (yep - apparently this is actually a thing).
Whilst on patrol in the Arbury; hoping to find more onion enthusiasts, they instead came across a car linked to County Lines Drug Dealing.
Whilst the officers had a "spring" in their step, the occupants of the car appeared to be peeling rather nervous.
The vehicle was searched, with several wraps of Class A drugs recovered, a large amount of cash, and more worryingly, a TASER disguised as a torch.
Despite the pair protesting their innocence shallot, they were in something of a pickle and arrested.
There were tears from one of the suspects, and the officers didn't want to keep going onion about it so transported them to Parkside Custody.
During a strip search the driver of the vehicle was found with a further bundle of Class A wraps in his pants, which didn't quite onion ring true with the rest of his story.
Both were interviewed and released under investigation.

#OpRaptor #WeHateDrugsShallot #AllCardsOnTheVegeTable #RingThePolice #PeelySilly #InAPickle #DryYourEyes #StrangePlaceToKeepYourDrugs #DontShineTheTorchInYourFaceByAccident #SOUTHERNIMPACTTEAM

Fuck offffffffffffffffffff

Keir’d flex (wins), Tuesday, 30 June 2020 12:52 (five days ago) link

what in the world

maf you one two (maffew12), Tuesday, 30 June 2020 13:23 (five days ago) link


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