Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

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n/m

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 12:59 (ten years ago) Permalink

Possibly cf with the ILM Noah and the Whale thread, actually.

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:00 (ten years ago) Permalink

it probably would if their smoothies weren't actually head and shoulders above the competition.

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:01 (ten years ago) Permalink

Not really. Although I suppose as part of (precursor to?) the whole twee countryside picnic Waitrose type adverts with some warbling accoustic number in the background I can see how it could grate a bit.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:02 (ten years ago) Permalink

oh xp, 'cos yes their xmoothies are (mostly) very good.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:02 (ten years ago) Permalink

I used to have to deal with their marketing department on a regular basis, and they were uber-cynical cunts of the highest order, even by marketing department standards.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:03 (ten years ago) Permalink

xpost huh
also i think every supermarket now has a generic smoothie line with the damn-near exact same packaging aesthetic.

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:04 (ten years ago) Permalink

Snakes On A Plane!

DJ Mencap, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:04 (ten years ago) Permalink

The aesthetic is repellent and the drinks are insanely over-priced bollocks so yes just a bit.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:05 (ten years ago) Permalink

^^^somerfield

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:06 (ten years ago) Permalink

xp
Not going to their picnic then?

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:06 (ten years ago) Permalink

This Water (tm) is full of the lovingly squeezed juice of forty-eight cranberries OK WE GET IT I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND 2 QUID ON A SMALL BOTTLE OF FRUIT

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:08 (ten years ago) Permalink

Earl Okins playing...

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:09 (ten years ago) Permalink

...at the picnic that is.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:09 (ten years ago) Permalink

yes wtf with this water

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:09 (ten years ago) Permalink

This is what happens when you let Belle and Sebastian fans into the food and drink industry.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:10 (ten years ago) Permalink

They invented it and then everyone else ripped it off. I didn't mind it when they did it.

But when everything you buy these days has got a section in their packaging saying "Hello you, welcome to the side of the packet! My name is Tad Fadley's new urban wenge and did you know that I am made out of 100% pure organic smugness. The scrummy goo inside me was personally farted out through the buttocks of a lovely young homosexual called Jason - MmmmmMMM! Oh it's delicious, drink me drink me! I'd really like to know what you think of me so drop me a letter, fax or even a tattooed baby (LOL! JKS!) of what you think. If you have a phone you can actually speak to Jason himself while he shits into a vat of pure untreated fairtrade effluent." it gets rather annoying, yeah.

the next grozart, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:11 (ten years ago) Permalink

I couldn't tell whether this was a musical subgenre or a category of porn.

jaymc, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:11 (ten years ago) Permalink

"The people at Innocent deal with the fruit-based products, and This Water with the water-based ones." - actual comment on bottle of This Water I once regrettably bought

(both Innocent and This Water deal with fruit-and-water-based products)

lol DL

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:12 (ten years ago) Permalink

I just get annoyed by so much other stuff, this is pretty far down the list.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:13 (ten years ago) Permalink

dude i used to work with tried to jump ship to their marketing department AND FAILED HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DG, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:14 (ten years ago) Permalink

Tad Fadley's new urban wenge

Oh for the days etc

DJ Mencap, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:15 (ten years ago) Permalink

Soft drinks as I know and understand them.

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:16 (ten years ago) Permalink

who gives a fuck about this

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:18 (ten years ago) Permalink

No, this is the real shit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thxAqdxGSPU

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:18 (ten years ago) Permalink

I inadvertently found myself at their picnic a few years ago. Ruined my afternoon in the park. Fuckers.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:19 (ten years ago) Permalink

And they're charging for it this year. Double fuckers.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:19 (ten years ago) Permalink

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5F23TxSpZk

I would drink all this orange pop

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:20 (ten years ago) Permalink

i had a smoothie phase, but after deciding to cut down on sugar i am back on the cherry coke

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:20 (ten years ago) Permalink

Cresta: The blackcurrent beverage that induces strokes.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:20 (ten years ago) Permalink

^ Xpost! LOLZ. Lolz at phrase 'warbling acoustic number'.
Yeah Innocent Smoothies....I'm just waiting for the Ribena (notsotoothkind) style scandal to happen.
"Hello you, welcome to the side of the packet! My name is Tad Fadley's new urban wenge and did you know that I am made out of 100% pure organic smugness. The scrummy goo inside me was personally farted out through the buttocks of a lovely young homosexual called Jason - MmmmmMMM! Oh it's delicious, drink me drink me! I'd really like to know what you think of me so drop me a letter, fax or even a tattooed baby (LOL! JKS!) of what you think. If you have a phone you can actually speak to Jason himself while he shits into a vat of pure untreated fairtrade effluent." it gets rather annoying, yeahHahaha
But like Ned says, this is irritating but not as much as many other things.

VeronaInTheClub, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

I miss the 70s and I want to go back there right now. This century fucking sucks.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:21 (ten years ago) Permalink

When did adverts stop trying to be hip? Those Noodle ones are grebt

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:22 (ten years ago) Permalink

I am an unashamed Innocent fan.

Scik Mouthy, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:23 (ten years ago) Permalink

"It's frothy at the mouth, man!"

Mark G, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:23 (ten years ago) Permalink

xpost now I have the Billy Joel song in my head!

Mark G, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:23 (ten years ago) Permalink

Yeah, back to the seventies with its needless foreign wars and epidemics of knife crime in our streets.

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:24 (ten years ago) Permalink

I was going to poll every flavour of Rubicon earlier this week and never got round to it.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:25 (ten years ago) Permalink

matt dc - do it!

the next grozart, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

100% pure organic smugness.

I'm all for eating fresh stuff, but this kind of twee bollocks just makes me want to smoke a carton of R0thmans, drink six Red Bulls, and eat a kebab containing Alsatian meat cooked rare.

snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:28 (ten years ago) Permalink

i had a smoothie phase, but after deciding to cut down on sugar i am back on the cherry coke

er...

CharlieNo4, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:29 (ten years ago) Permalink

It must be good for you, it's got cherries in it.

snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:32 (ten years ago) Permalink

Diet Coke = no sugar
Smoothies = a whole shitload of sugar

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:33 (ten years ago) Permalink

Diet Coke = no meaning in the universe

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:33 (ten years ago) Permalink

^OTM

Ed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:34 (ten years ago) Permalink

People who don't like Diet Coke should just kill themselves, imo

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:36 (ten years ago) Permalink

Don't tell me, I only drink any of that shit as a mixer.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:36 (ten years ago) Permalink

Srsly shit ALL TASTES THE SAME

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:36 (ten years ago) Permalink

that metaphor sounds like it would results in some serious burns/lacerations

Number None, Wednesday, 7 March 2018 07:53 (ten months ago) Permalink

Pls do not throw a molotov cocktail at a ceiling

(robot gives Mum a hot dirty slap) (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 7 March 2018 11:32 (ten months ago) Permalink

no it will go through the ceiling because it is glass and at that point the laws of gravity will be broken also

Under the influence of the Ranters (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 7 March 2018 11:36 (ten months ago) Permalink

oh what a feeling
molotoving on the ceiling

War, Famine, Pestilence, Death, Umami (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 March 2018 11:37 (ten months ago) Permalink

what could be more punk
than a molotov dunk?

Under the influence of the Ranters (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 7 March 2018 11:41 (ten months ago) Permalink

not gonna lie, i've always fancied having a go at lobbing a molotov cocktail

there's a brewdog pub five minutes' walk from where i am now, maybe i should use it for target practice when i nip out for lunch

War, Famine, Pestilence, Death, Umami (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 7 March 2018 11:42 (ten months ago) Permalink

beers not for girls, its not for guys- its for after work wankers who go round asking everyone of they have cocaine

(robot gives Mum a hot dirty slap) (Bananaman Begins), Wednesday, 7 March 2018 12:39 (ten months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

Nuclear war = buy more pies

https://i.imgur.com/G83jkm3.jpg

Chuck_Tatum, Tuesday, 24 April 2018 09:24 (eight months ago) Permalink

pretty sure i saw charlie bigham's fish pie at the basingstoke festival a few years back?

i'm surprised to see your screwface at the door (NickB), Tuesday, 24 April 2018 09:34 (eight months ago) Permalink

one month passes...
one month passes...

https://i.imgur.com/b0YwwE0.jpg

conrad, Sunday, 15 July 2018 18:09 (six months ago) Permalink

ugh; I'd assume that's supposed to be ironic given recent circs of the company (or the ordinary) but perhaps not.

kinder, Sunday, 15 July 2018 20:07 (six months ago) Permalink

💦

illegal economic migration (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 15 July 2018 20:08 (six months ago) Permalink

I hate, hate, hate it the most when it's making a claim about what the company is like to work for. 'Cute and happy' does not fit in with the reality of what any job is like, even if the job is looking after the puppy in a shop that sells fairies and glitter. Imagine the mental stress involved in making 'cute and happy!' fit in with getting a bollocking off a boss for being below target and they're wrong but you need the money.

Never changed username before (cardamon), Sunday, 15 July 2018 21:12 (six months ago) Permalink

^ word. Know someone who briefly worked in a 'cat cafe' and they were cunts

Neuer write off the germans (Bananaman Begins), Monday, 16 July 2018 08:54 (six months ago) Permalink

one month passes...

English Eccentrics that are complete cunts thread.

calzino, Saturday, 15 September 2018 10:20 (four months ago) Permalink

yeah something like that, a non-commercial equivalent of this thread basically

every day there's a whining choad (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 15 September 2018 10:26 (four months ago) Permalink

we've got this tiresome old bigot called Jake Mangel Wurzel, he has a bath mounted on top of his car, a dog called Manhole, wears wellington/pyjama combos. I always say ignore a vulgar attention seeker and they will get bored, but this fucker never gets bored.

calzino, Saturday, 15 September 2018 10:31 (four months ago) Permalink

i always say everybody needs some attention but not this way, not this way

every day there's a whining choad (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 15 September 2018 10:35 (four months ago) Permalink

I have a lot of time for autism spectrum mavericks, but anyone who could be bothered with such a maintained charade of "eccentricity" could only be a 100% neurotypical imo.

calzino, Saturday, 15 September 2018 10:49 (four months ago) Permalink

Ha, I was just watching Limmy's Dee Dee sketch where he's in the kitchen and imagining the inner life of his t-shirt, this one sounds a bit less aggressive though.

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 18 September 2018 23:23 (four months ago) Permalink

I'm gonnae gi' its face a wee dunt wi' the iron. Show it who's boss.

Non, je ned raggette rien (onimo), Tuesday, 18 September 2018 23:36 (four months ago) Permalink

lets to go back to the 70's and get a fucking washboard or twin tub, just so you can wear high maintenance fabrics. that sounds like fun.

calzino, Tuesday, 18 September 2018 23:40 (four months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

From: Alex at Morning Brew <a✧✧✧@morningb✧✧✧.c✧✧>
Subject: Are you ok?

Oh, good. We were worried something had happened to you—because you haven't opened a Morning Brew email in a while. (And we naturally assumed the worst: a terrible roller coaster accident.)

Still interested in receiving the Brew? Then just click here and we'll keep delivering you the goods. If not, you don't have to do anything — we'll automatically remove you from our list.

Thanks,
Alex Lieberman
CEO, Morning Brew

conrad, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 13:25 (three months ago) Permalink

Wasn't there actually a terrible roller-coaster accident in this country not that long ago? I hope they've got their CRM/legal team in order.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 13:42 (three months ago) Permalink

I was going to say, I remember reading about people being seriously injured and a girl who had her leg amputated. Not cool.

calzino, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 13:45 (three months ago) Permalink

Yeah, they can't even do twee bollocks right. Correct form would be "catastrophic knitting accident" or the like

Number None, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 13:46 (three months ago) Permalink

when knitters die, do they pass through the purly gates?

Herb Achelors (NickB), Wednesday, 10 October 2018 13:50 (three months ago) Permalink

Nothing says welcome back like "I've just been imagining your grisly death"

Chuck_Tatum, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 15:43 (three months ago) Permalink

third cousin of mine put a needle straight through his own spleen a week back. last words to his wife were 'wear the scarf for me'

imago, Wednesday, 10 October 2018 16:07 (three months ago) Permalink

not sure this belongs here but I have two bugbears right now with social media adversiting:

1) announcements of local shows by performers are always phrased as: "San Francisco, we can't wait to see you!" Fuck off, I don't believe for a second anyone in the Damned thinks this.
2) I think this shit started with that stupid Omaze place but the photos of celebrities holding white signs with words written on them....drives me up the fucking wall.

akm, Wednesday, 24 October 2018 15:56 (two months ago) Permalink

two months pass...

wait, white signs w/words like in the Bob Dylan "Subterranean Homesick Blues" movie ... or something else?

sarahell, Monday, 7 January 2019 02:11 (two weeks ago) Permalink

it's 'cause some charities only get five minutes every six months with their celeb.

so they take a picture of them holding up a white piece of card and add the copy later

Chuck_Tatum, Monday, 7 January 2019 10:43 (two weeks ago) Permalink

Here are the 'sales pitches' for all four of HSBC's adventures in city-branding: for Birmingham, Leeds, Manchester and London pic.twitter.com/rkA9r72tQH

— dan hancox (@danhancox) January 18, 2019

deeply fucking irritating? ✅

calzino, Sunday, 20 January 2019 14:24 (three days ago) Permalink

What point are the Hong Kong and Shanghai Bank trying to make there?

koogs, Sunday, 20 January 2019 15:00 (three days ago) Permalink

Argh, the Manchester one is "PM candidate visits McDonalds" level cringe.

Also, obvs more people know the song than the play, but "Look Back in Anger" is quoting John Osborne, who's from... Fulham

Chuck_Tatum, Sunday, 20 January 2019 15:06 (three days ago) Permalink

claim that Leeds invented fish and chips seems very questionable afaict

Terry Major-Ball Will Tell You (DJ Mencap), Sunday, 20 January 2019 16:12 (three days ago) Permalink

straight out of Harry Ramsden's bullshit origin story I'm guessing

have you ever seen a VONC's tears? (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 20 January 2019 16:20 (three days ago) Permalink

actually, seeing the ayoade tv advert again, those echo the narration on those pretty closely.

koogs, Tuesday, 22 January 2019 20:48 (yesterday) Permalink

my mum gave us some teething biscuits for our daughter from a company called BICKIEPEGS and occasionally i find the unbearably twee word BICKIEPEGS swimming unbidden into my consciousness and it makes me furious

even worse my daughter has a little drinking cup from BICKIEPEGS called the DOIDY CUP and i am occasionally haunted by the phrase ‘the DOIDY CUP from BICKIEPEGS’ which might be the worst string of syllables i’ve ever heard

Effectively Big Jim with a beard. (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 22 January 2019 22:37 (yesterday) Permalink

lol

Number None, Tuesday, 22 January 2019 22:52 (yesterday) Permalink

haha OTM
I quite like saying Doidy cup though

Everything to do with babies is vomit-inducing. My son's bunny is branded a 'sleepytot' and there's all sorts of 'babba wuv' type things. There is also a kids' clothing brand called Polarn O. Pyret which I can never ever remember the name of (spent 5 mins googling it just now) and constantly call it Porno for Pirates instead

kinder, Tuesday, 22 January 2019 23:10 (yesterday) Permalink

"Sippy cup" is also a thing

koogs, Wednesday, 23 January 2019 03:45 (fifteen hours ago) Permalink

Bickiepegs have been about since I was teething in the early 70s, and a quick Google shows they first went on sale in 1925. So not innocentsmoothieisation I'm afraid.

Bimlo Horsewagon became Wheelbarrow Horseflesh (aldo), Wednesday, 23 January 2019 08:37 (ten hours ago) Permalink

proto-smoothie, then

“I'm the sexy gorilla and I'm going to hell“ (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 23 January 2019 09:20 (nine hours ago) Permalink

And doidy cups were around 50 years ago (at least); I had them as a toddler. It might not have been their official name, but that's what we called them. Back then they had a lid with a small spout: probably terribly bad for infant teeth.

The first time I saw an adult in London drinking a takeaway coffee through a sipper-lid (25 years ago? 30?), I thought "Ugh, Doidy Cup."

fetter, Wednesday, 23 January 2019 09:59 (eight hours ago) Permalink

a doidy cup, iirc, is specifically designed to avoid the spout and it's potential damaging effects on tooth development. they're built with a slant to allow infants to learn to drink with potentially less spills, thus avoiding the need for a lid.

ime they don't work very well like, but still

Sarri, Sarri, pride of our alley (Noodle Vague), Wednesday, 23 January 2019 10:27 (eight hours ago) Permalink

deeply fucking irritating?

... I saw one of these in Glasgow too.

Wee boats wobble but they don't fall down (Tom D.), Wednesday, 23 January 2019 10:31 (eight hours ago) Permalink


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