Does the entire Innocent Smoothies aesthetic strike you as deeply fucking irritating?

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

n/m

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 12:59 (twelve years ago) link

Possibly cf with the ILM Noah and the Whale thread, actually.

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:00 (twelve years ago) link

it probably would if their smoothies weren't actually head and shoulders above the competition.

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:01 (twelve years ago) link

Not really. Although I suppose as part of (precursor to?) the whole twee countryside picnic Waitrose type adverts with some warbling accoustic number in the background I can see how it could grate a bit.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:02 (twelve years ago) link

oh xp, 'cos yes their xmoothies are (mostly) very good.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:02 (twelve years ago) link

I used to have to deal with their marketing department on a regular basis, and they were uber-cynical cunts of the highest order, even by marketing department standards.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:03 (twelve years ago) link

xpost huh
also i think every supermarket now has a generic smoothie line with the damn-near exact same packaging aesthetic.

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:04 (twelve years ago) link

Snakes On A Plane!

DJ Mencap, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:04 (twelve years ago) link

The aesthetic is repellent and the drinks are insanely over-priced bollocks so yes just a bit.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:05 (twelve years ago) link

^^^somerfield

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:06 (twelve years ago) link

xp
Not going to their picnic then?

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:06 (twelve years ago) link

This Water (tm) is full of the lovingly squeezed juice of forty-eight cranberries OK WE GET IT I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND 2 QUID ON A SMALL BOTTLE OF FRUIT

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:08 (twelve years ago) link

Earl Okins playing...

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:09 (twelve years ago) link

...at the picnic that is.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:09 (twelve years ago) link

yes wtf with this water

G00blar, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:09 (twelve years ago) link

This is what happens when you let Belle and Sebastian fans into the food and drink industry.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:10 (twelve years ago) link

They invented it and then everyone else ripped it off. I didn't mind it when they did it.

But when everything you buy these days has got a section in their packaging saying "Hello you, welcome to the side of the packet! My name is Tad Fadley's new urban wenge and did you know that I am made out of 100% pure organic smugness. The scrummy goo inside me was personally farted out through the buttocks of a lovely young homosexual called Jason - MmmmmMMM! Oh it's delicious, drink me drink me! I'd really like to know what you think of me so drop me a letter, fax or even a tattooed baby (LOL! JKS!) of what you think. If you have a phone you can actually speak to Jason himself while he shits into a vat of pure untreated fairtrade effluent." it gets rather annoying, yeah.

the next grozart, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:11 (twelve years ago) link

I couldn't tell whether this was a musical subgenre or a category of porn.

jaymc, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:11 (twelve years ago) link

"The people at Innocent deal with the fruit-based products, and This Water with the water-based ones." - actual comment on bottle of This Water I once regrettably bought

(both Innocent and This Water deal with fruit-and-water-based products)

lol DL

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:12 (twelve years ago) link

I just get annoyed by so much other stuff, this is pretty far down the list.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:13 (twelve years ago) link

dude i used to work with tried to jump ship to their marketing department AND FAILED HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DG, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:14 (twelve years ago) link

Tad Fadley's new urban wenge

Oh for the days etc

DJ Mencap, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:15 (twelve years ago) link

Soft drinks as I know and understand them.

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:16 (twelve years ago) link

who gives a fuck about this

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:18 (twelve years ago) link

No, this is the real shit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thxAqdxGSPU

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:18 (twelve years ago) link

I inadvertently found myself at their picnic a few years ago. Ruined my afternoon in the park. Fuckers.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:19 (twelve years ago) link

And they're charging for it this year. Double fuckers.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:19 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5F23TxSpZk

I would drink all this orange pop

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:20 (twelve years ago) link

i had a smoothie phase, but after deciding to cut down on sugar i am back on the cherry coke

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:20 (twelve years ago) link

Cresta: The blackcurrent beverage that induces strokes.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:20 (twelve years ago) link

^ Xpost! LOLZ. Lolz at phrase 'warbling acoustic number'.
Yeah Innocent Smoothies....I'm just waiting for the Ribena (notsotoothkind) style scandal to happen.
"Hello you, welcome to the side of the packet! My name is Tad Fadley's new urban wenge and did you know that I am made out of 100% pure organic smugness. The scrummy goo inside me was personally farted out through the buttocks of a lovely young homosexual called Jason - MmmmmMMM! Oh it's delicious, drink me drink me! I'd really like to know what you think of me so drop me a letter, fax or even a tattooed baby (LOL! JKS!) of what you think. If you have a phone you can actually speak to Jason himself while he shits into a vat of pure untreated fairtrade effluent." it gets rather annoying, yeahHahaha
But like Ned says, this is irritating but not as much as many other things.

VeronaInTheClub, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:21 (twelve years ago) link

I miss the 70s and I want to go back there right now. This century fucking sucks.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:21 (twelve years ago) link

When did adverts stop trying to be hip? Those Noodle ones are grebt

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:22 (twelve years ago) link

I am an unashamed Innocent fan.

Scik Mouthy, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:23 (twelve years ago) link

"It's frothy at the mouth, man!"

Mark G, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:23 (twelve years ago) link

xpost now I have the Billy Joel song in my head!

Mark G, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:23 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah, back to the seventies with its needless foreign wars and epidemics of knife crime in our streets.

Dingbod Kesterson, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:24 (twelve years ago) link

I was going to poll every flavour of Rubicon earlier this week and never got round to it.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:25 (twelve years ago) link

matt dc - do it!

the next grozart, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:28 (twelve years ago) link

100% pure organic smugness.

I'm all for eating fresh stuff, but this kind of twee bollocks just makes me want to smoke a carton of R0thmans, drink six Red Bulls, and eat a kebab containing Alsatian meat cooked rare.

snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:28 (twelve years ago) link

i had a smoothie phase, but after deciding to cut down on sugar i am back on the cherry coke

er...

CharlieNo4, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:29 (twelve years ago) link

It must be good for you, it's got cherries in it.

snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:32 (twelve years ago) link

Diet Coke = no sugar
Smoothies = a whole shitload of sugar

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:33 (twelve years ago) link

Diet Coke = no meaning in the universe

blueski, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:33 (twelve years ago) link

^OTM

Ed, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:34 (twelve years ago) link

People who don't like Diet Coke should just kill themselves, imo

The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:36 (twelve years ago) link

Don't tell me, I only drink any of that shit as a mixer.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:36 (twelve years ago) link

Srsly shit ALL TASTES THE SAME

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 13:36 (twelve years ago) link

"ah'm no a grass, coach b"

J.G Ballard otm (Bananaman Begins), Friday, 20 November 2020 10:47 (six months ago) link

this is close enough to the same thing to post it here instead of "worst TV ads"

the recent Asda ads have all been pretty brutal, featuring a delightfully quirky buffoon who loves Asda so much he makes stan videos for them, but there's one current one where the spokesclown thanks Asda for all they're doing to keep people safe during the pandemic, so we have an advert for Asda, paid for by Asda, where we're invited to praise Asda for their awesomeness. somehow this just seems next level.

Bandscamp Fryday (Noodle Vague), Friday, 20 November 2020 11:11 (six months ago) link

him and his disgustingly cute family, prostituting themselves for Asda/Walmart

Neil S, Friday, 20 November 2020 13:39 (six months ago) link

two months pass...

We stand against discrimination🏳️‍⚧️ pic.twitter.com/xAWca1Wak5

— innocent drinks (@innocent) February 2, 2021

groovypanda, Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:31 (four months ago) link

^ predictable replies to that

tl;dr: lots of transphobes are now boycotting Innocent

groovypanda, Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:33 (four months ago) link

Do many companies actually follow 'regular' people (as opposed to other brands, orgs or celebs) on Twitter?

kinder, Tuesday, 2 February 2021 14:53 (four months ago) link

https://i.ibb.co/sQNyMmx/20210202-183750.jpg

conrad, Tuesday, 2 February 2021 18:47 (four months ago) link

It's a classic example of how people and organisations can have both good and rather naughty in them.

Alba, Friday, 5 February 2021 13:23 (four months ago) link

one month passes...

Yarraville news @AsFarce: https://t.co/fwyOS6rzVA

— unwanted fuckery (@hailants) March 22, 2021

John Cooper of Christian rock band Skillet (map), Monday, 22 March 2021 20:47 (two months ago) link

“I actually put that question to the grade sixes at St Margaret’s Primary School in Maribyrnong, and all 41 kids were very clear that they wouldn’t run onto the road just to look at circles,” he said.

lol

jmm, Monday, 22 March 2021 20:51 (two months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Ordered a book from a second hand place that looked quite good, the type of company you're happy to give business to. And then they emailed this confirmation

(Your book(s) wanted to write you a personal note - it seemed unusual, but who are we to say no?)

Holy moly! It's me... it's me! I can't believe it is actually me! You could have picked any of over half a million books but you picked me! I've got to get packed! How is the weather where you live? Will I need a dust jacket? I can't believe I'm leaving Dunfermline, Scotland already!

I can't wait to meet you! You sound like such a well read person. Although, I have to say, it sure has taken you a while! I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but how would you like to spend five months sandwiched between Jane Eyre (drama queen) and Fundamentals of Thermodynamics (pyromaniac)? At least Jane was an upgrade from that stupid book on brewing beer. How many times did the ol' brewmaster have one too many and topple off our shelf at 2am?

But hey, enough about me, I've been asked to brief you on a few things.

We sent your order to the following address:

And now I dont want to deal with them ever again

ignore the blue line (or something), Friday, 9 April 2021 11:38 (two months ago) link

that is terrible

Daniel_Rf, Friday, 9 April 2021 11:55 (two months ago) link

that's hands down the worst

kinder, Friday, 9 April 2021 12:04 (two months ago) link

omg -- that is so horrible it is hilarious!

sarahell, Friday, 9 April 2021 15:29 (two months ago) link

Oh dear god.

emil.y, Friday, 9 April 2021 17:30 (two months ago) link

i would've thought hard about cancelling my order

Call of Scampi: Slack Nephrops (Noodle Vague), Friday, 9 April 2021 17:51 (two months ago) link

my heart is breaking imagining the clueless lonely dork stuck in dunfermline behind that

imago, Friday, 9 April 2021 17:55 (two months ago) link

better world books

conrad, Friday, 9 April 2021 19:07 (two months ago) link

the first child of results here

conrad, Friday, 9 April 2021 19:10 (two months ago) link

child couple

conrad, Friday, 9 April 2021 19:11 (two months ago) link

Yeah I didn't want to name names but fuck it, throw them under the bus

ignore the blue line (or something), Friday, 9 April 2021 19:20 (two months ago) link

this did lead me to this google excerpt gem:

You are so far off base it will be an easy pick-off when the terrorists decide to march ... If your guy wins, good luck in the socialist system you will be living in, Denise! ... It's funny how I can't remember what I had for breakfast, but I can close my eyes and see ... Besides, it's what Kerry did when he returned that makes me sick.

sarahell, Friday, 9 April 2021 23:30 (two months ago) link

that particular brand of deeply-fucking-irritating has an origin story:

https://sive.rs/cdbe

linee, Saturday, 10 April 2021 14:14 (two months ago) link

one month passes...

nnngh

bring me death pic.twitter.com/IwKkNPNl3P

— Luke Bailey (@imbadatlife) June 2, 2021

Neil S, Wednesday, 2 June 2021 12:56 (one week ago) link

the crossover event of the century

you are like a scampicane, there's calm in your fries (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 2 June 2021 13:10 (one week ago) link

what bothers me even more is the fact that there do seem to be people who aren't immediately repulsed by this, who think it's cool/cute/funny. i want to believe most of them are bots or paid for their engagement. but brands have been doing so much of this it must be working

Left, Wednesday, 2 June 2021 14:13 (one week ago) link

Good username, good tweet

These are just slides in the next Amazon antitrust case pic.twitter.com/6xKAuWwaL4

— Edward Ongweso Jr (@bigblackjacobin) June 2, 2021

Neil S, Wednesday, 2 June 2021 17:16 (one week ago) link

Brewdog is an Innocent-adjacent aesthetic, perhaps an unpleasant older sibling.

An open letter, to BrewDog. pic.twitter.com/xEd3B83qot

— Punks With Purpose (@PunksWPurpose) June 9, 2021

AlanSmithee, Thursday, 10 June 2021 16:19 (four days ago) link

do we have a "toxic work environment" thread? think we need one if not.

A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 10 June 2021 16:20 (four days ago) link

i shouldn't say i'm not surprised because i'm sure many of these egregiously "nice" companies are just as toxic. but i'm not surprised

Left, Thursday, 10 June 2021 16:56 (four days ago) link

there is definitely some connection between the superficial opposites of insufferable tweeness and hipster edgelordism (presumably some of the same people involved in marketing). it comes together a bit in some of the more passive aggressive stuff on this thread

disheartening that brewdog actually has a "fanbase" which includes "zealots". it feels like they just kind of forced themselves into the market

Left, Thursday, 10 June 2021 17:04 (four days ago) link

the response from brewdog is classic startup cunt boss stuff

Why wait? When you can have the future TODAY! 🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/TZSqNCQnvG

— Werewolf Beer - Coming Soon to Camden! 🇺🇸🐺💂 (@WerewolfBeer) June 9, 2021

A viking of frowns, (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 10 June 2021 17:08 (four days ago) link

wanker(s)

Left, Thursday, 10 June 2021 17:29 (four days ago) link

the brew dog owners have always seemed like obnoxious posho scottish tory twats tbh

《Myst1kOblivi0n》 (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 10 June 2021 17:29 (four days ago) link

obnoxious posho scottish tory twats in flannel and keffiyehs

Left, Thursday, 10 June 2021 17:32 (four days ago) link

brewdog beer is dull as ditchwater

imago, Thursday, 10 June 2021 18:09 (four days ago) link

they obviously went to the states and drank a bunch of hoppy ipas and thought that it was exciting to bring that to the uk. which was wrong. autochthonous, stuffy uk real ale culture > "craft beer"

《Myst1kOblivi0n》 (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 10 June 2021 18:19 (four days ago) link

they lost me when they used the word 'ballsy' in the reply

koogs, Thursday, 10 June 2021 18:24 (four days ago) link

their punk shit is fucking everywhere now, in places you’d never expect to find anything except bad lager and old man ale before. it’s frustrating there are so many better things that could be filling that niche but they’ve been way too successful at taking up all the space

Left, Thursday, 10 June 2021 18:31 (four days ago) link

all you can taste is hops and metal

Left, Thursday, 10 June 2021 18:33 (four days ago) link

uk beer culture IS hoppy ipas now, it is a fucking atrocity

imago, Thursday, 10 June 2021 19:06 (four days ago) link

https://twitter.com/mr_considerate/status/140297256150014771

Left, Thursday, 10 June 2021 19:09 (four days ago) link

try again

They’re the Zer0 Books of Brewing. They’re Kill All Normies in a can. This has been obvious for … a decade, maybe?

— Elvis Buñuelo (@Mr_Considerate) June 10, 2021

Left, Thursday, 10 June 2021 19:10 (four days ago) link

I've often bought some of their brands in cans when they are close to the expiry date and marked down to 50p cos I'll drink just about any cheap swillwater and the smaller sized cans is good for walking about with and not looking as much of a pish-head. But it is very unremarkable stuff and I think a big element of their success is more down to distribution than their nauseating marketing and branding. Like has already been said at some point in the last decade, suddenly this stuff was bloody everywhere.

calzino, Thursday, 10 June 2021 20:13 (four days ago) link

uk beer culture IS hoppy ipas now, it is a fucking atrocity

― imago, Thursday, June 10, 2021 12:06 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

reject modernity, embrace tradition

《Myst1kOblivi0n》 (jim in vancouver), Thursday, 10 June 2021 20:16 (four days ago) link

lager and lime>>>autochthonous, stuffy uk real ale culture > "craft beer"

calzino, Thursday, 10 June 2021 20:30 (four days ago) link

I get that the banality of the product is part of the shame but tbrr if Brewdog or Innocent made the tastiest shit in the world they'd still be scum and therein lies the point

Lage Lage Lage Shooting (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 10 June 2021 22:00 (four days ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/5UqjWXV.jpg

Number None, Monday, 14 June 2021 22:23 (one hour ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.