TS: Daily Mail vs The Guardian

Basically, it's the poll that had to be made.

T/S: Middle Class hate-rag filled with self-satisfied Tory shitbag columnists, or the Daily Mail.

^^^Textbook opener, 9/10

my mum met a female mail writer and said she was fun. also, they probably pay their staff. but i gotta hold my nose here and go with der grau -- and where would they be without ilx?

xpost

lololololololol

YAYYYY

T/S: Middle Class hate-rag filled with self-satisfied Tory shitbag columnists, or the Daily Mail.

-- Noodle Vague, Monday, 31 March 2008 10:14 (50 seconds a

Someone stole my stalinbot login

Are we supposed to be voting for best, or worst? Fuck if I can choose, either way.

T/S arseholes vs irrational nutjobs.

The Guardian, perhaps the modern day definition of "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining"

This is kind of going-through-the-motions cock-grinding so far. Needs more Eastenders, and possibly a batshit Martian post or two.

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/c/cc/200px-Big_ron.jpg

FACKING GAAAAAARDIUN?!? LEAVE IT AHT

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/645000/images/_645246_nigel300.jpg
http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/site_imagery/michael_hann_140x140.jpg

Amazing what a bit of a diet and some hairdye can do.

http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/site_imagery/john_harris_140x140.jpg http://www.sitcom.co.uk/fools_horses/graphics/char_rodney.gif

I'm not sure there's a single Guardian reader in the Square these days, compared to a possible 8-10 for the Mail. Poor showing, Graun.

Geirdnight Sweetheart

xp

Hadley Freeman on naked used car salesmen in spinning bow ties: this year's hot trend?

Amazing what a bit of a diet and some hairdye can do

Oi! Leave Paul Bradley out of this! I know him, lovely chap.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/eastenders/images/characters_cast/characters/bianca_j/bianca_jackson_large_1.jpg

"I read that woman, Rebecca West, go on about how Ophelia was a real slut and manipulated by all the men around her, and it pissed me off. I think feminism is about finding things that aren't there."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/eastenders/images/characters_cast/characters/minty_p/minty_peterson_large_1.jpg

"Throughout, Badu herself is serene and strong, picking a steady path through the turbulence as if guiding her people. Each listen to New Amerykah brings fresh rewards: it demands to be explored."

Heather Trott/Fratellis review would be a bit obvious here, wouldn't it?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/eastenders/images/characters_cast/characters/alan_j/alan_jackson_large_1.jpg

"The question here is simple: how do you get from the simple declarative statement that opens this passage - "but do not commit aggression - for verily God does not love aggressors" - to the blanket warrant for violence? Answer: only by distorting one's reason and ignoring how this passage fits within the whole of the Qur'an's moral and ethical framework."

http://www.bbc.co.uk/eastenders/images/characters_cast/characters/derek_h/derek_harkinson_large_1.jpg

"At the minute, I'm working in a restaurant with a bunch of lovely, funny people; writing a play; writing bits for Skins; spending any sort of money I earn on food and skinny jeans, and drinking my way to a financially blighted two-month trip to India and Thailand. Clichéd I know, but clichés are there for a reason."

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41294000/jpg/_41294831_ethel_1987_203x250.jpg

Finally, I'm ready and willing to be called on as a personal "anti-life coach" for anyone who's currently too pleased with themselves. I can offer energy-sapping depressitudes and personally targeted invective round the clock, for just £3,000 a month. Unless you're an Apprentice candidate. Then it's free.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/eastenders/images/characters_cast/characters/pat_e/pat_evans_large_1.jpg

"There is much to be proud of in voting Labour - but I have a free offer for the reluctant. On my desk is a basket of wooden nose-pegs marked "Labour". Any reluctant voter can have one of these to wear to the polls; apply here now."

http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/icnewcastle/aug2007/7/2/3504D853-DD43-3504-E627A16759A52A33.jpg

"I don't need to tell you that the motherlode will be a single image. And that image is Peaches herself wearing a Save Peaches badge - proving that she is the ironist's ironist, and therefore a true hipster, at whom we may all shake our fists and shriek, "Damn you, Peaches! You win again!"

I look forward to hearing from you. Let's make a difference."

Legit lolz

Should there be a 'Pitch TV drama ideas that involve Dean Gaffney' thread?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/eastenders/images/characters_cast/characters/ali_o/ali_osman_large_1.jpg

"At the very moment that our soldiers are giving their lives to defeat the Taliban, how can the Defence Secretary - of all people - say that Britain should be talking to them instead?"

Pitch TV drama ideas that involve Dean Gaffney' thread

the answer is 'anything'

This just in from Jacqui Smith:

"I. AM. NOT. GOING. TO. THE. ISLE. OF. DOGS. I. AM. GOING. TO. PLAY. CARDS. WITH. DEN."

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

i find thid entire thread confusing. guardian loads better than mail obv. when will the zzzzzzzzing britishers culture end?

define "better" without recourse to politics, says the hacked-off hack.

in purely newspaper terms, mail >>>>>>>>> guardian.

i fucking loathe the thing -- would never let it cross my doorstep -- and i ain't voting in this poll. but strip away the subjectivity and that's how i'd have to roll.

Oh come on, Daily Mail is so massively rubbish that Guardian would have to win by default, wouldn't it? It's pick the best of these toiletty arse biscuits, not pick which is brilliant.

hmm. the mail knows its (vile) market, has incredibly high production values (for what it is) and manages to maintain its sales. the guardian is mostly a floundering mess these days.

like i say, this doesn't mean i'm a fan of the thing -- and if i'm "taking sides" then yeh, guardian all the way. but the "better" paper, in purely newspaper terms, is, sadly, the mail.

A polished turd...

has incredibly high production values

I've heard the same thing said about The Sun and the Express and I don't think I understand what it means. When pressed the esteemed journalist I was talking too mumbled something about the puns in The Sun and way the Express looked neat and tidy! Both of which I felt were unsatisfactory answers to my query.

Talking about "high production values" on a newspaper to justify its superiority is a bit like Geir banging on about the number of chords in a song.

What does it mean? The ink doesn't come off in your hands?

Murdoch does better spell checking, doesn't mean The Times is any fucking good.

Actually I was being a bit harsh there. A friend of mine who works at the Indy regularly says that the reason the paper has gone all SHOUTY EDITORIAL ON FRONT PAGE OMG WE'RE ALL DOOMED is to distract from the fact that its news section is almost entirely rewrites from newswires.

Of course the Mail is fiendishly brilliant; most things which are generally the focus of anger and opposition need to be opposed because they are technically good enough to not simply disappear through incompetance.

It means that Mail have a proper news section, written by actual journalists, and go to incredible efforts to talk to people in the stories and get photographs of them. You'd be surprised at how many of the other papers don't do any of this and just use unrewritten wire copy and sit on their thumbs waiting for pictures.

Mail has a huge and deep news section. Sadly it's really fucking hateful as well.

i've read more Daily Mails than Guardians :(

written by actual journalists

Clearly, then, this is not always a good thing.

"production values" basically means it's put together by people who understand what the story is, how to sell it and exactly who's reading it. not a word, picture or comma is wasted (unlike the express, which is a feeble facsimile).

the guardian, on the other hand, is often style over substance: you get the feeling nobody is actually *engaging* with the copy.

the mail knows exactly what it's doing, every day. the guardian occasionally strikes it lucky. that's the key difference.

fundamentally, if i'm going to take sides, it's the guardian. but my original point, which i stand by: in pure newspaper terms the guardian is in no way "better".

stet OTM, too, natch.

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

so grimly voted daily mail in the end then?

i abstained, honourably! but if i'd voted, i'd have gone for the 'nad -- it is, after all, taking sides.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1024808/The-double-act-stormed-Britains-Got-Talent-reveal-theyre-BOTH-proud-British.html

'We hear a lot about the bad side of Britain - the knife culture, the cultural problems - but what struck me about the competition was how decent everyone was. The kids, too, were nice, well brought-up kids.'

That must have difficult for a DM journo to type.

Elsewhere in the paper Mail scumbags revert to type and write up hatchet job of murdered woman while suggesting political correctness prevents people of Asian descent getting sacked...

Really what a fucking disgrace that article is - unnamed sources (typical disgruntled Met types that the Police Federation point the Mail towards whenever they've got an axe to grind), slagging off 'downmarket' tabloids while repeating the same shit and an underlying implication that she got what was coming.

Never gonna top this classic, though:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/columnists/article-423549/Littlejohn-Spare-Peoples-Prostitute-routine-.html

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ltxCWvi_SlE/SOdtgMuPHWI/AAAAAAAAAOo/UlJqHhjSZC8/s1600-h/yes.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnV5vgr-LFs

I maintain that nothing is funnier than Dom being butthurt over The Guardian.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/index.html <--- got their own 'comment is free' rival now

curiously low-res byline pic for Littlejohn there

for a sec I thought he only had one chin

Criminals must fear the police again, vows new Met chief

Or at least give them proper bungs like in the good old days.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/09/13/article-2036845-0DDDA0B900000578-877_636x264.jpg

PIGEONS SHIT ON UNION FLAG

http://pierceblog.dailymail.co.uk/2011/09/now-im-a-union-man-amazed-at-what-i-am-i-say-what-i-think-that-the-company-stinks-yes-im-a-union-man-when-we-meet-in-the-lo.html

getting off to a flying start

holy hell what a url

Tube workers are paid £42,500-a-year considerably more than British soldiers laying their life down for Queen and country in Afghanistan.

See, to me this is an argument for saying that if the armed forces aren't happy with the way the government treats them they ought to unionise and fight for better pay and conditions rather than pulling lorries with their teeth thru shopping centres on a Saturday.

Maybe pulling a lorry with your teeth is good training for when you have to go and drive tube trains.

Is this some elaborate hoax?

At the slightest hint of industrial action he should have sent in the Army to take over the underground. And you know what. The tubes might then even run on time.

MUSSOLINI HAD THE RIGHT IDEA.

http://pierceblog.dailymail.co.uk/2011/09/now-im-a-big-fat-blamange-chasing-after-lyndsay-lo.html

aw, they've fixed that blip:

also, and i don't wanna be a bastard or anything, but in my experience tube trains running in London have been considerably more useful to me than some guys laying down their lives for the Queen and Country in Afghanistan, so on a pure cost-benefit level the disparity in pay seems fair.

cos as I see it, that's the Market at work. ARE YOU SAYING YOU HATE THE MARKET, ANDREW "STALIN" PIERCE??

tbf travel on the district line would be vastly improved by being hooded, bound w/cable ties and beaten to death

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOu_BszChIE&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL1B32E01C0A996AC5

sorry wrong link
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2011/sep/14/gender-studies-male-blaming-bias

I'm guessing that guy can't really get down to the specifics of his grievance because it might prejudice his totally useful and groundbreaking lawsuit... but that basically makes him writing about it completely pointless as he doesn't really say anything?

his link to support "women are more likely to initiated domestic violence" comes from TheHappyMisogynist's youtube channel.

Dude stuck it out at the LSE for 6 weeks, must've been hell.

Only alerted to this via my sister:

Readers’ Editor, Chris Elliott, announced recently that, instead of using the current, and accurate, rape conviction rate of 6.5%, journalists would “use the figure of 13% as the benchmark.”

This represents the combined total of convictions for rape and other ‘sexual offences’, a less serious category of crime.

Nice bit of trolling by The Guardian.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/apr/29/loaded-magazine-men-baxendale-walker

His plan marks the latest revamp for a title that has struggled for the past 10 years, as its stock in trade of titillating images became freely available online, from the mainstream Mail Online to adult sites.

So, this Daily Mail advert at 5:53, then...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk-XWTlwAMo

...wtf?