Masterchef Goes Large

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I love it!!!

czn, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 12:05 (sixteen years ago) link

Eggs Benedict.

Mark G, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 12:28 (sixteen years ago) link

Eggs Benedict -vs- Pain Perdu.

C J, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 12:33 (sixteen years ago) link

Sheridan ftw!

Ward Fowler, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 13:33 (sixteen years ago) link

Emily must win

Jarlrmai, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 14:54 (sixteen years ago) link

recap of yesterdays programme>>recap of each contestant's performance so far>>"cooking "DOESN'T get TOUGHER then THIS"/"if they win this it will CHANGE their LIVES">> overlong introduction to each new cook>> tiny bit of cooking then judging>> recap of the tiny bit of cooking we have just seen even though we just watched it>> professional kitchen for 5 minutes>> recap of professional kitchen we just watched combines with another recap of round one /"experimental cook emily impressed in the first round but she floundered in the professional kitchen">> 5 minutes of cooking then judging then fake devils advocate thing between john and greg to decide the winner>> preview of tomorrow's show. they would recap the preview but the show has to end some time.

jed_, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 15:34 (sixteen years ago) link

SO addicted to the programme. Where the fuck did they dig up identivoice shouty guys? They must be the most charmless presenters on TV, which kind of adds to the show's compellingness.

chap, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 16:02 (sixteen years ago) link

Experimental Emily.
Single-dad Jonny.
Banker Sheridan.
Nothing to say about stupid-haired other guy.

Bald shouty guy used to be Millwall hooligan.

What was the format of the show in the Grossman years - I can only think of that Reeves and Mortimer sketch?

Bocken Social Scene, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 16:36 (sixteen years ago) link

That's the best way to remember it. Print the legend.

ledge, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 16:40 (sixteen years ago) link

arr.

Mark G, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 16:49 (sixteen years ago) link

I think every reality show now does this interminable recap nonsense. Dog Borstal and the Panic Room are hour-long shows!

Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 16:54 (sixteen years ago) link

they all do recaps but this show takes it to a whole new level.

i thought it was a bit ridiculous to go through six weeks of heats to eliminate 2 qrt finalists in a one show chicken cook-off.

jed_, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 17:27 (sixteen years ago) link

emily ftw. i wish they'd go back to the early evening slot cos i keep missing it now.

or something, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 18:17 (sixteen years ago) link

I only see bits of it. Have they asked Sheridan why she's got a bloke's name?

Noodle Vague, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 18:39 (sixteen years ago) link

i wish they'd go back to the early evening slot cos i keep missing it now.

Me too. Last series it was on half an hour after I usually got back from work, which was absolutely perfect as it's great wind down from the day telly.

chap, Wednesday, 20 February 2008 18:47 (sixteen years ago) link

Farewell to Sheridan last night. Her nerves let her down, and she was starting to look a bit out of her depth.

Emily must win.

C J, Friday, 22 February 2008 08:44 (sixteen years ago) link

yes. even clare rayner's son, family guy and the obnoxious woman recognised her genius. the best bit was when john torrode got all serious about the chip "people KNOW what a chip is" and then greg wallace didn't really know what to say. turned out he was right though.

or something, Friday, 22 February 2008 11:15 (sixteen years ago) link

I was gutted for Johnny last night, he's the only one I actually like. God that food critic woman had an arsey face.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 22 February 2008 11:18 (sixteen years ago) link

what a miserable looking bitch, i kept thinking. actually she wasn't as bad as i had anticipated.

james is going to win but i'd like emily to.

jed_, Friday, 22 February 2008 11:53 (sixteen years ago) link

Sheridan's the only one whose personality I found annoying, so I'm glad she's gone.

chap, Friday, 22 February 2008 13:59 (sixteen years ago) link

I keep expecting James to say "which was nice".

Noodle Vague, Friday, 22 February 2008 16:32 (sixteen years ago) link

It bugs me a bit how everyone's like 'It's my dream to work in a pro kitchen'. Well do then! If you've got a modicum of cooking talent, as even the shittest contestants do, how hard can it be to get a low-end job in one?

chap, Friday, 22 February 2008 18:06 (sixteen years ago) link

they don't know they're being filmed

blueski, Friday, 22 February 2008 18:08 (sixteen years ago) link

every section recorded in a professional kitchen cements my belief that working in one would be an absolute nightmare. people yearn to do this day after day?

jed_, Friday, 22 February 2008 18:15 (sixteen years ago) link

it's the final.
emily just had jt virtually in tears with the genius of her scallops and beetroot vermicelli. she MUST win.

or something, Thursday, 28 February 2008 20:21 (sixteen years ago) link

"Women fall in love with men who make pudding like that, Jonny"

willem, Thursday, 28 February 2008 20:45 (sixteen years ago) link

that was an entirely prxedictable cop-out. load of rubbish.

or something, Thursday, 28 February 2008 20:59 (sixteen years ago) link

MPW hair man won.

Mark G, Thursday, 28 February 2008 21:36 (sixteen years ago) link

Emily's blatantly going to do really well for herself anyway.

chap, Thursday, 28 February 2008 21:54 (sixteen years ago) link

Aye, that's what we said - Emily didn't *need* to win, I reckon she will have her own show/restaurant/cookbooks before too long on the back of that. Curly-haired dude wanted it too badly, and it was odd that he won despite displaying all the trying-too-hard overcomplicating-it that made them kick Craig Revel Horwood out of the celebrity one. I guess they thought he needed it more having jacked in his stupidly paid last job to fulfil his dream of being a chef and doing it by going on the telly rather than getting an actual job.

Jonny might as well not have been there, tbh.

ailsa, Thursday, 28 February 2008 22:08 (sixteen years ago) link

two months pass...

the new loyd grossman sauce ads, with all those people doing impressions of him, i'm finding inexplicably hilarious.

CharlieNo4, Monday, 5 May 2008 22:01 (sixteen years ago) link

nah

czn, Monday, 5 May 2008 22:05 (sixteen years ago) link

the new loyd grossman sauce ads, with all those people doing impressions of him, i'm finding inexplicably hilarious.

Hah, so does my girlfriend. I think they're OK.

chap, Monday, 5 May 2008 22:08 (sixteen years ago) link

one month passes...

Celebrity Masterchef in twenty minutes.

chap, Wednesday, 2 July 2008 18:40 (fifteen years ago) link

six months pass...

COOKING DOESN'T GET TOUGHER THAN THIS!

chap, Thursday, 8 January 2009 17:00 (fifteen years ago) link

JOHN TORODE IS BACK THEN?

ledge, Thursday, 8 January 2009 17:10 (fifteen years ago) link

I saw John Torode doing a demonstration at a food fair in Devizes. He was flanked by a massive photograph of himself, confirming my opinion of him being a tool.

Beloved lightbulb (Neil S), Thursday, 8 January 2009 17:13 (fifteen years ago) link

A friend of mine who's a chef has met him a few times and can confirm that he is indeed a tool.

chap, Thursday, 8 January 2009 17:18 (fifteen years ago) link

And the other one's a jumped up greengrocer.

Beloved lightbulb (Neil S), Thursday, 8 January 2009 17:19 (fifteen years ago) link

I've got a lot more time for Greg than John.

chap, Thursday, 8 January 2009 17:20 (fifteen years ago) link

I actually watched last night's on the iplayer after getting back from the pub. That's how shamelessly addicted I am.

chap, Thursday, 8 January 2009 17:22 (fifteen years ago) link

It's an hour long tonight too. Fuck, between this and trying to finish the Wire before half the world accidentally tells me what happens I have no time for anything else.

chord simple (j.o.n.a), Thursday, 8 January 2009 17:34 (fifteen years ago) link

The new food recognition round in the quarter finals is bullshit.

chap, Thursday, 15 January 2009 23:10 (fifteen years ago) link

And the 'passion test' is even bullshittier.

chap, Thursday, 15 January 2009 23:14 (fifteen years ago) link

The new food recognition round in the quarter finals is bullshit.

this was always in it but yeah it's wrong. just have the show being four of them cook a 3 course meal. it doesn't make any sense to get rid of one after that ingredients test, it kind of negates that whole day. worse comes later when one of the semi finalists gets knocked out in a similar half baked episode essentially writing off a whole week of the competition.

having said that, this years is much better for the simple reason that they reduced the recapping & voice overs by at least 2/3rds.

jed_, Thursday, 15 January 2009 23:19 (fifteen years ago) link

Yeah i thought I noticed there was more cooking action this time 'round. We can't stop watching.

Gorgeous Preppy (G00blar), Thursday, 15 January 2009 23:22 (fifteen years ago) link

The professional kitchen round never seems to count for much. Also, whoever Torode likes best always wins.

Number None, Thursday, 15 January 2009 23:22 (fifteen years ago) link

Has the food recognition really been there all along? I can't remember it at all, goes to show what boring telly it makes for.

chap, Thursday, 15 January 2009 23:50 (fifteen years ago) link

I wish they'd bring back the man who cooked the pork chop in the first episode.

Alba, Friday, 16 January 2009 00:07 (fifteen years ago) link

haha that guy was great

Gorgeous Preppy (G00blar), Friday, 16 January 2009 00:29 (fifteen years ago) link

wittingly or unwittingly, the producers of gbm have produced an invaluable survey of the tyrants, egomaniacs and petty squabblers who run british kitchens in the 21st century, and for that they must be commended

a photographer, satanist and ukip voter (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 8 April 2019 10:49 (five years ago) link

That one neck tatooed fellow who produced a dish called CONTEMPT FOR ORTHODOXY which was like a fish spine sticking out of 3D printed head did make me laugh.

chap, Monday, 8 April 2019 10:58 (five years ago) link

Haha yes - demonstrating his contempt for orthodoxy by spraying oysters silver and shaping them to look like studs on an oh-so-unorthodox leather jacket. The restaurant he works at in Leeds sounds... not to my taste.

Tim, Monday, 8 April 2019 11:02 (five years ago) link

Ben from the other week's restaurant is just round the corner from me and is actually very nice so I couldn't help rooting for him, even though he was a slight moron.

chap, Monday, 8 April 2019 11:06 (five years ago) link

Yeah as documented on the London restaurants thread we ate at his restaurant this weekend and it was really good.

Tim, Monday, 8 April 2019 11:12 (five years ago) link

Ali Campbell explain what Grime was to Matthew Fort

oh god i'm gonna have to watch this now aren't i

― a photographer, satanist and ukip voter (bizarro gazzara), Monday, April 8, 2019 12:37 PM (three hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Be glad you missed Mani 'dish is aight' slurping up some soup.

Ps. I watch this religiously. The 'concept' plates are frequently bonkers.

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Monday, 8 April 2019 14:02 (five years ago) link

Wtf has this guy got against fish curry?

Great to see the kooks up for a place in the pantheon of 50 years of british music.

what if bod was one of us (ledge), Wednesday, 10 April 2019 20:16 (five years ago) link

What was the deal w/ that guy who - twice - didn't actually deliver the brief in any way? Is he thick?

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 11 April 2019 11:46 (five years ago) link

"I'm doing a dish called Northern Sole."
"What fish is in it?"
"Cod."

That guy?

chap, Thursday, 11 April 2019 11:52 (five years ago) link

oh god i'm gonna have to watch this now aren't i

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 11 April 2019 11:53 (five years ago) link

xp haha yeah, that guy. Thought it was expert trolling at first but c'mon man. Despite him explicitly saying it was called 'Northern Sole' the editors of the show just put 'Northern Soul' underneath it, because it was just too wtf.

I like that this week's judge let's off a little more about how things are going during the cooking. The others all tried their very best to not let anything on. When they'd taste a sauce they'd be like *must... keep... blank... expression*

xp BG you need to see this pronto imo

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 11 April 2019 12:06 (five years ago) link

We have developed the habit of watching the week's worth of these on a Friday or Saturday night. I can barely wait! (Mind if you lot start spoilering who goes through I will have to catch up in the thread later, not that that should stop you obv.).

Tim, Thursday, 11 April 2019 12:17 (five years ago) link

We're a small but dedicated crew, I think we can manage no spoilers.

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 11 April 2019 12:24 (five years ago) link

Despite him explicitly saying it was called 'Northern Sole' the editors of the show just put 'Northern Soul' underneath it, because it was just too wtf.

It was more wtf than that, he actually said "The dish is called Northern Soul, with a 'u', because it's cod". In other words "I'm not going for the obvious pun, instead I'm going for a dish which has no connection to the name or the brief whatsoever".

what if bod was one of us (ledge), Thursday, 11 April 2019 12:24 (five years ago) link

Mind = blown (I missed that "with a 'u'" remark!). That's some 5D concept cooking!

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 11 April 2019 12:26 (five years ago) link

Yeah he said "with a u" to both Aitkens and his fellow competition, separately, so he clearly rationalised it in his head that way.

Elitist cheese photos (aldo), Thursday, 11 April 2019 12:48 (five years ago) link

Maybe it was a meta-commentary on the futilty of trying to encapsulate a musical tradition through the medium of cookery - it wouldn't actually have had anything more to do with Northern Soul music if the name of the fish i had sounded the same as 'soul'.

That's possibly giving him a little too much credit seeing as he was a shouty self-satisfied chump.

chap, Thursday, 11 April 2019 13:18 (five years ago) link

B-but plates shaped like guitars! Skate tendon mohicans!

Tim, Thursday, 11 April 2019 13:39 (five years ago) link

he was a shouty self-satisfied chump.

Otm. He's a nuisance. All the better his chow will be further served off tonight.

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 11 April 2019 13:41 (five years ago) link

xp Oh god the mohicans <3

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 11 April 2019 13:42 (five years ago) link

So you're a top chef who worked at Noma, participating for the second time. What do you do? Choose a main ingredient (pig fat) you've never worked with before, massively over-salt your dish (how did he not taste this?) and as a consequence are scared shitless of overseasoning again so you completely underseason your next dish. Car crash.

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 18 April 2019 07:54 (five years ago) link

Aye, last night was a car crash all round.

In "how do you do, fellow kids" news, "small vinyls" go at "33 rounds per minute", you listen to a record player while fishing in a boat and devoted John Peel listeners owned all the Spice Girls singles on cassette.

Elitist cheese photos (aldo), Thursday, 18 April 2019 08:29 (five years ago) link

OMG.

So it turns out these little morsels of ludicrousness are making me more psyched to watch the show, rather than acting as spoilers.

Tim, Thursday, 18 April 2019 08:33 (five years ago) link

That's weird, we started watching an old series of M:TP last night. The one with savant psychopath James, who's either going to win at an absolute canter (no spoilers pls!) or get kicked out for hunting a fellow contestant

imago, Thursday, 18 April 2019 08:38 (five years ago) link

What's weird?

Masterchef (and, I think Mastercheftheprofessionals) has taken to using past winners and finalists as if they were food critics* in the early rounds - it turns out that I have a vague memory of about 5% of them and the rest I would swear I'd never seen before, even though I've watched every series of the thing going back to the dear dead days of Loyd himself. SO the chances of me spoiling anything are zero. Having said all that, GBM >>> any form of Masterchef.

*presumably the risk of being saddled with another Sitwell is just too great.

Tim, Thursday, 18 April 2019 08:44 (five years ago) link

and devoted John Peel listeners owned all the Spice Girls singles on cassette.

This had us cracking up too :D

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 18 April 2019 08:55 (five years ago) link

My favourite LOL was Richard Corrigan saying, "You're really pushing the boundaries by mentioning John Peel there"

Ward Fowler, Thursday, 18 April 2019 08:59 (five years ago) link

The bottom of the puns barrel was officially scraped with "Fleetwood Mackerel".

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 18 April 2019 09:20 (five years ago) link

Haha, I missed that. Stupid social life.

chap, Thursday, 18 April 2019 09:29 (five years ago) link

Someone who grew up in Buckie reckons they listened to loads of bhangra when they were at school. No wonder in such a hotbed of Asian culture.

The female chef justified her Club Tropicana inspired dessert because her sister was Wham daft when they were growing up. She's 32.

Elitist cheese photos (aldo), Thursday, 18 April 2019 19:44 (five years ago) link

My dish is called 'Sunny Afternoon'... yeah, yeah, The Stereophonics

what if bod was one of us (ledge), Wednesday, 1 May 2019 19:40 (five years ago) link

That caused groans in our house too. Also the Bowie quote she used is the same as the o e someone used last week. WTF? Is there a briefing document?

OMG they are playing the Stereophonics version of Sunny Afternoon! It is gross.

Tim, Wednesday, 1 May 2019 19:51 (five years ago) link

Calling a dish “Top of the Cods” does not make it relevant to the music industry.

Tim, Wednesday, 1 May 2019 19:56 (five years ago) link

nor do endless stories about how you grew up.

what if bod was one of us (ledge), Wednesday, 1 May 2019 20:14 (five years ago) link

they cut away really fast but i think you can *just* see the judge die inside when the guy says stereophonics.

what if bod was one of us (ledge), Wednesday, 1 May 2019 20:16 (five years ago) link

Top of the Crops
Top of the Cods

...

The Stereophonics version almost had me clicking away ffs. Only dish that looked the part to me was the Bowie one, but apparently it tasted like shite, and the guy using cleaner tasting lemon in his dish got a higher grade.

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 2 May 2019 07:37 (five years ago) link

What a fucking mysoginist judge that was, last weeks. His disgust for her dripped off the screen. He'd've bitten the woman's head off if he wasn't being filmed. Sure, maybe her dishes weren't all that but neither were anyone else's. He scored her significantly lower than others who got the same, or worse, critique. Rigged.

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Sunday, 5 May 2019 12:30 (five years ago) link

"What's the connection to music?" the judge (and other competitors) say repeatedly over a dish which is called hip hop in a weak (but completely reasonable and understandable) pun over it being rabbit.

The ones which pass without comment are "Brixton academy through the years" which is a cube of hoggett and veal sweetbreads (because that's a posh kebab, obviously) and "oh you pretty things" which is a 'celebration of songs that mention breakfast'. Because it's a bowl of mushrooms served with mushroom ketchup and an empty mug with some song names written on it.

This has turned into the worst theme in years.

Elitist cheese photos (aldo), Wednesday, 8 May 2019 19:44 (five years ago) link

Otm to all of that. Would’ve gone with Procal Herring myself tbf

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Wednesday, 8 May 2019 20:23 (five years ago) link

Absolute cunt's parade all week, chefs and judges alike.

I had two new puns they should have gone with.

The final dish should have been called Choccy's Got A Temper. And the frozen one earlier should have had a peaty whisky added to it and been called La Islay Granita.

Elitist cheese photos (aldo), Thursday, 16 May 2019 19:51 (five years ago) link

lol at kemp throwing a hissy fit at the pigeon claw on his plate.

The Pingularity (ledge), Thursday, 16 May 2019 20:45 (five years ago) link

La Islay Granita

*doffs hat*

It's not been great. Peter Hook almost eating every desert was a highlight, which is saying something. I did like seeing Andrew Ridgely tbh, hadn't seen him since his last TOTP performance probably. This show force feeds you so much filler and repeatings of the same old dreariness ("the uk music scene continues to take the world by storm" etc) I'm glad it's over tomorrow actually.

Uptown VONC (Le Bateau Ivre), Thursday, 16 May 2019 23:40 (five years ago) link

six months pass...

what's the deal with professional chefs and sleeve tattoos?

Heavy Messages (jed_), Monday, 25 November 2019 02:45 (four years ago) link

They're often a bunch of weirdos on the Professionals.

chap, Monday, 25 November 2019 09:21 (four years ago) link

I don't know if you've been out in public in the uk recently but sleeve tattoos are virtually compulsory in most places.

The Pingularity (ledge), Monday, 25 November 2019 09:50 (four years ago) link

four years pass...

imo they kicked out philippe because they were afraid he's better than them. absolutely ridiculous. don't wanna watch the rest of the season

imago, Monday, 27 November 2023 21:19 (six months ago) link

don't have twitter but i hope everyone is giving them hell

imago, Monday, 27 November 2023 21:21 (six months ago) link

five months pass...

Brin 4 the win

chap, Tuesday, 14 May 2024 23:15 (two weeks ago) link

Yeah. We liked Cliodhna but I'm notorious for putting the kiss of death on anyone by calling them for the win just before they comically arse it up.

ailsa, Wednesday, 15 May 2024 07:52 (two weeks ago) link

Still broken-hearted Ajay went out, he seemed so good.

a based robot like Bender (stevie), Wednesday, 15 May 2024 08:36 (two weeks ago) link


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