Put your skinny latte down, and choose your favourite right-wing British newspaper columnist

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"The reason I get booked on Sky, Alan Titchmarsh and Newsnight is that there aren't many people like me. In the past, when they want a rightwinger, they had to go for Peter Hitchens. Peter Hitchens doesn't represent me or the working classes. He's fucking bizarre."

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Jeremy Clarkson 6
Boris Johnson 2
Max Hastings 2
Jon Gaunt 1
Anne Widdecombe 1
Quentin Letts 1
Jimmy Young1
Richard Littlejohn 1
Peter Hitchens 1
Melanie Phillips 1
Frederick Forsythe 0
Tom Utley 0
Suzanne Moore 0
Stephen Glover 0
Peter Oborne 0
Amanda Platell 0
Liz Jones 0


Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 09:56 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm hoping no-nonsense straight-talking Man of the People Jon Gaunt will get the dukes here, but we're probably gonna see a bunch of Americans voting for Clarkson.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 09:57 (sixteen years ago) link

Peter Hitchens is totally bizarre.

Presumably that quote is Littlejohn?

Mark G, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 09:58 (sixteen years ago) link

Jon Gaunt.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 09:58 (sixteen years ago) link

serious answer: oborne.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:02 (sixteen years ago) link

"John Gaunt is a pathetic c**t" - so says Youtube

Upt0eleven, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:04 (sixteen years ago) link

Jeremy Clarkson is supposed to be a 'comedian', as opposed to the rest.

That said, I'm not voting.

Mark G, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:05 (sixteen years ago) link

I genuinely didn't realise Liz Jones had a stance on anything aside from herself and her ex-husband

DJ Mencap, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:09 (sixteen years ago) link

Andrew Winkless (West Midlands) wrote
at 7:37pm on January 8th, 2008
THE GAUNT says what i think the majority of the nation thinks....this nation, if that is what it`s called now, has, as GAUNTY says, gone SOFT....GAUNTY for KING
Message - Report

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:09 (sixteen years ago) link

Oborne

Tom D., Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:11 (sixteen years ago) link

Andrew Winkless (West Midlands) wrote
at 7:37pm on January 8th, 2008
THE GAUNT says what i think the majority of the nation thinks....this nation, if that is what it`s called now, has, as GAUNTY says, gone SOFT....GAUNTY for KING
Message - Report

is this like a recognised condition or something

That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:12 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm not voting for any of them, they're a bunch of wankers.

Pashmina, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:24 (sixteen years ago) link

least favourite would be either littlejohn or platell.

Pashmina, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:25 (sixteen years ago) link

Least favourite = Melanie Phillips. No contest.

Tom D., Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:26 (sixteen years ago) link

littlejohn = the voice of arrationality
platell = embodiment of brit centralised mediathink "nothing in britain even exists if it's outside london, nothing in london matters if it's outside whitehall"

Pashmina, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:26 (sixteen years ago) link

i hate jon gaunt with a purity that is breath-taking

stevie, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:27 (sixteen years ago) link

Actually, Hastings' book on the Korean war was very good, so I'm voting for him.

Pashmina, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:27 (sixteen years ago) link

Is Suzanne Moore right wing now? I haven't read anything by her since she wrote for Marxism Today c.1988 :/

Stevie T, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:29 (sixteen years ago) link

I thought everyone who wrote for Marxism Today was a right-winger?

Tom D., Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:31 (sixteen years ago) link

Hastings does at least have a aire of age, experience and academic rigour about him. I prefer reading him to anyone else.

Ed, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:32 (sixteen years ago) link

Not heard Gaunt. The last time I knew about Suzanne Moore was 10 years ago when she was writing shit for the Graun - lol class will out. I probably "enjoy" Hitchens' mentalism the most of these. Forsythe is always kinda fun too.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:32 (sixteen years ago) link

No Carole Malone?

DJ Mencap, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:32 (sixteen years ago) link

Hastings I like less as a historian than Paul Johnson, who should've been on here if he's still alive.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:34 (sixteen years ago) link

Alive but insane

Tom D., Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:36 (sixteen years ago) link

Comes with the territory.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:37 (sixteen years ago) link

Suzanne Moore isn't right wing though; she's the Mail's Token Leftie "See We're Openminded Really" columnist.

Additionally, where is Nick Cohen band?

Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:42 (sixteen years ago) link

Dude if you take the King's shilling then you're in the Army.

Noodle Vague, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:43 (sixteen years ago) link

Also missing: Michael Gove and David "It's OK To Bomb Museums In Iraq So That Our Children Can Sleep Overnight In Our Museums EWWWWWWWW" Aaronovitch.

Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:44 (sixteen years ago) link

L*uis J*gger (Cambridge) wrote
at 11:45am
saw some quality gaunt the other day. he had his say on the goth couple who weren't let on the bus for the girl wearing a dog lead. something along the lines of "in today's society they may have the right to do what they want, to offend human decency in this way. but should they also have the right to live unemployed in council houses and plan to raise a family?" asking all the right questions IMO

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 12:27 (sixteen years ago) link

Additionally, where is Nick Cohen band?

-- Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 10:42 (1 hour ago) Bookmark Link

The Eustonists really don't fit in with this list, feel free to start a poll for them.

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 12:28 (sixteen years ago) link

even talksport trails and other talksport presenters take the piss out of jon gaunt. but they still employ him so screwfix Direct and vauxhall vans must like him.

Frogman Henry, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:13 (sixteen years ago) link

Michael Gove, the original called out cockfarmer, is a shocking oversight. Aaronivitch and Cohen don't really fit. I went with BoJo, at least he can be funny.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:21 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh shit I suddenly realised I have voted for Boris Johnson in something.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:21 (sixteen years ago) link

Also no Kelvin Mackenzie!

Matt DC, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:24 (sixteen years ago) link

Anyone remember that C4 current affairs/comedy programme in the early nineties with David Baddiel, Tracey McLeod and M Gove which was supposed to be the nineties' answer to TW3? I can't remember what it was called but it was terrible.

Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:26 (sixteen years ago) link

Poor Tracey!

Tom D., Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:26 (sixteen years ago) link

I've just realised, one the genuinely certified mixed nuts has been missed out, Simon Heffalump.

Frogman Henry, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:30 (sixteen years ago) link

And he is about as hateful as it gets.

Frogman Henry, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:30 (sixteen years ago) link

Actually yeah leaving out Simon Heffer is like voting for your favourite Nazis without mentioning Hitler.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:31 (sixteen years ago) link

Heffer is politically on the right, being very critical of the European Union and New Labour, whilst being supportive of the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Heffer opposes almost all government intervention in the Economy and is against any national minimum wage. He also supports the death penalty. Culturally, however, he is of the Americosceptic Old Right rather than the pro-American Neoconservative/New Right, as can be seen through his criticism of the "hideous pop music" liked by David Cameron.[3] He has also written with pungency about the decline of tie-wearing among British men. Perhaps surprisingly, in the mid-1990s he was generally supportive of New Labour, due to his dissatisfaction with John Major and the Conservative Party at the time. Recently Heffer has written sympathetically of United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) and Nigel Farage.[4] However, he has also described himself as a Glastonian liberal.

Heffer believes that Christianity should have a strong role in shaping both the moral foundation of society and public policy, although he is an atheist.[5]

When the Home Office put Heffer on its Law and Order Task Force, left-wing politicians were concerned about the direction that criminal law reform might take, with human rights lawyer Baroness Kennedy saying that the government "had not just lost the plot but was handing the plotting over to their most feared critics."[6]

In 2004, Heffer wrote the unsigned editorial in The Spectator critical of Liverpudlian "vicarious victimhood", for which Boris Johnson was forced to apologize to the city.

In 2006, Heffer sharply criticised the film The Wind That Shakes The Barley, a movie by director Ken Loach about the Irish War of Independence [4] despite not having watched it.

In 2008, Heffer called for the United Nations to be strengthened, stating that: "If the UN ceases to be regarded by the larger powers as a institution to secure the peace of the world and justice therein, then that holds out all sorts of potential dangers."[7]

Quotes
"Portugal has revealed itself to be little more than a banana republic through the handling of this case. Whether you have small children or not, you would be mad even to think of having a holiday there." [8], Simon Heffer writing in the The Daily Telegraph about the Case McCann, January 2008.
"The evil that drug dealers do cannot be adequately punished under our present law; I would take a leaf out of China's book, and have them taken out and shot in the back of the head. That isn't going to happen. But using the laws we do have more effectively, applying them with zero tolerance, and making junkies pay - literally - for the damage they do to society would be a start. I fear, though, that it is already too late.", Simon Heffer writing in the The Daily Telegraph about Drug policy, January 2008.

Frogman Henry, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:33 (sixteen years ago) link

Piece of work

Frogman Henry, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:33 (sixteen years ago) link

Jimmy Young has a column does he?

"Ar-HAR Hanging. Is. Too. Good for them you see. Children of today need a short sharp shock, speaking of which here is Ray Davies and his Button Down Brass Raymondo."

Dingbod Kesterson, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:34 (sixteen years ago) link

Didn't he have something esp. sensitive and insightful to say about the Ipswich prostitute murders? (xp)

Tom D., Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:35 (sixteen years ago) link

Here 'tis:

"... if drugs use is made more difficult, there will be fewer pushers. If there are fewer pushers then life will become harder for those further up the food chain.... there would still be tarts, and there would still be people who kill tarts. There would probably, though, be gratifyingly fewer of both."

Tom D., Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:40 (sixteen years ago) link

what value of 'favourite' are we on here?

Alan, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:49 (sixteen years ago) link

Didn't he have something esp. sensitive and insightful to say about the Ipswich prostitute murders? (xp)

-- Tom D., Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:35 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

Littlejohn on those murders was clearly a work of journalistic brilliance, up there with "J'Accuse" and "How It Feels To Be Forcibly Fed".

Dom Passantino, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:53 (sixteen years ago) link

Prostitution seems to esp. rile middle-aged male right-wing hacks - I wonder why that would be?

Tom D., Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:56 (sixteen years ago) link

"Here lies a prostitute. Not someone who worked as a prostitute. A prostitute. Signed, Richard Littlejohn. A cunt. Not someone who works as a cunt. A cunt."

That mong guy that's shit, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 13:59 (sixteen years ago) link

i vote for peter hitchens because he has goggly eyes and never seems to blink, ergo he is a giant goldfish

DG, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 14:10 (sixteen years ago) link

went with BoJo, at least he can be funny.

that said, all of these people are right, right about everything. and they stand up to bullies.

darraghmac, Tuesday, 29 January 2008 14:15 (sixteen years ago) link

Sad that Dom Lawson didn't get the props in this thread.

NickB, Friday, 18 July 2008 10:43 (fifteen years ago) link

There's 6 Clarkson boosters that want a good banning, for starters.

Noodle Vague, Friday, 18 July 2008 10:44 (fifteen years ago) link

No Stephen Pollard?

His latest piece of crap is a wonder to behold.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1036106/STEPHEN-POLLARD-Knife-attacks-Damned-lies-crime-figures.html

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 10:58 (fifteen years ago) link

remember this: statistics can be used to support almost any argument

including his.

Mark G, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:01 (fifteen years ago) link

Also a picture of knives with the words "Knives are everywhere in britain to-day"...

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:05 (fifteen years ago) link

The whole jist of that article is Ooh, it's not as good as the old days which sums up the Daily Mail really.

Ed, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:05 (fifteen years ago) link

TERRIFYING FACT: there is at least one knife in every house in Britain.

Matt DC, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:06 (fifteen years ago) link

Britain's most dangerous place...
http://www.bintangkarya.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/kitchen-makeovers-00.jpg

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:07 (fifteen years ago) link

Seriously, look at the toaster underneath the microwave, you could easily bang your head getting your toast. Not like in the olden days when people didn't have toasters.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:09 (fifteen years ago) link

They had a scaremongering article in the Mail yesterday about gas knives that freeze your innards. :D

Just got offed, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:09 (fifteen years ago) link

BAN THIS FILTH: http://www.damnilikethat.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/the_ex.jpg

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:10 (fifteen years ago) link

XXP
Also a bottle with BINGE DRINKING BOOZE HELL BRITAIN written all over it.

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:10 (fifteen years ago) link

sorry about big size

but the internet is also flooded with knives and i think the Mail should lead the crackdown.

Upt0eleven, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:11 (fifteen years ago) link

There's 6 Clarkson boosters that want a good banning, for starters.

What's the alternative? Throw your vote away?

DJ Mencap, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:12 (fifteen years ago) link

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/07/17/article-0-0053A007000004B0-384_233x423.jpg

Is this Eddie the Eagle?

DJ Mencap, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:13 (fifteen years ago) link

PEOPLE BE DOWNLOADING KNIFES AND STABING PEOPLE WITH THEM!

Mark G, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:13 (fifteen years ago) link

Origami flip knive!

Ned Trifle II, Friday, 18 July 2008 11:18 (fifteen years ago) link

four months pass...

pig man

GSOHSHIT (blueski), Wednesday, 19 November 2008 00:54 (fifteen years ago) link

four months pass...

Is Suzanne Moore right wing now? I haven't read anything by her since she wrote for Marxism Today c.1988 :/

― Stevie T, Tuesday, January 29, 2008 11:29 AM (1 year ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

suzennem with the blog war.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/mar/23/alastair-campbell-new-statesman

tbh s-mo is right. the NS can fuck off with alastair campbell as guest ed.

FREE DOM AND ETHAN (special guest stars mark bronson), Monday, 23 March 2009 15:30 (fifteen years ago) link

i would've voted liz jones in the original poll due to her terrifying insanity

lex pretend, Monday, 23 March 2009 15:45 (fifteen years ago) link

Nick Cohen v Peter Hitchens, at the Orwell Prize Debate.

Pete W, Friday, 27 March 2009 14:41 (fifteen years ago) link

one year passes...

wait what?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1265077/GENERAL-ELECTION-2010-Suzanne-Moore-standing-Hackney-North--Stoke-Newington.html

(nb i don't think suze is rly "right wing" but this would have derailed the gen election thread etc etc)

rolling stupid fruity crazy frog (history mayne), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 15:15 (thirteen years ago) link

aw shit son

mdskltr (blueski), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 15:20 (thirteen years ago) link

SARAH SANDS

sausage s4rgent (acoleuthic), Wednesday, 28 April 2010 15:24 (thirteen years ago) link

not that i care too much for diane abbott but i have to admit that i am kind of gleefully anticipating her reaction

Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 28 April 2010 15:27 (thirteen years ago) link

five years pass...

those are some english teeth up there

Jerry Lee Lewis: The Total Film-Maker (stevie), Wednesday, 20 April 2016 07:40 (eight years ago) link

Hate speech imo, particularly as English teeth >>>>>> Irish teeth

Daithi Bowsie (darraghmac), Wednesday, 20 April 2016 08:04 (eight years ago) link

oh dude i have the most english teeth so therefore i am allowed to say that

Jerry Lee Lewis: The Total Film-Maker (stevie), Wednesday, 20 April 2016 08:22 (eight years ago) link

Young bones groan, and the rocks below say "Throw your skinny latte down, son"

Interesting. No, wait, the other thing: tedious. (Trayce), Thursday, 21 April 2016 00:05 (eight years ago) link

Amazing that there was a Britain before Katie Hopkins, a mere eight years ago.

the joke should be over once the kid is eaten. (chap), Thursday, 21 April 2016 11:16 (eight years ago) link

How many in the original poll, actual politicians aside, have more power (audience/influence-wise) now than then?

nashwan, Thursday, 21 April 2016 11:57 (eight years ago) link

two weeks pass...

The political sketch writer Quentin Letts from Herefordshire has apologised for an article he wrote mocking the disability of broadcaster Andrew Marr.
In a Daily Mail review of the new Robert Peston show on ITV, Letts described Marr as "Captain-Hop-Along, growling away on BBC One, throwing his arm about like a tipsy conductor".
Marr had a stroke in January 2013.

https://twitter.com/thequentinletts/following

nakhchivan, Monday, 9 May 2016 16:23 (seven years ago) link

four years pass...

Giles Coren has deleted his Twitter account as a result of vicious Momentum thugs/someone on the receiving end of one of his racist tantrums telling all (delete as applicable)

That Giles Coren has deleted his account after this exchange is one of those great Twitter tales, it truly is.@JosieLong who's tweet about the astoundingly bad people included in this new Times Radio thing & responded to the exchange below with incredible dignity, is awesome. pic.twitter.com/mrWV9eqy0u

— Zoe Gardner (@ZoeJardiniere) June 2, 2020

/

Neil S, Tuesday, 2 June 2020 19:48 (three years ago) link

rip big man

Boris Johnson 2

pomenitul, Tuesday, 2 June 2020 20:06 (three years ago) link

2 Boris 2 Quit

Anti-Cop Ponceortium (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 2 June 2020 20:07 (three years ago) link

there's a dedicated giles coren thread iirc

imago, Tuesday, 2 June 2020 20:31 (three years ago) link

dedicated to racism

hip posts without flaggadocio (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 2 June 2020 20:34 (three years ago) link

Boris Johnson 2

... and we know who one of those two was.

Is Lou Reed a Good Singer? (Tom D.), Tuesday, 2 June 2020 20:36 (three years ago) link

this is the true giles coren thread, linked at the point where his awfulness is thoroughly raked-through: Sub-editors: how can I avoid killing them?

imago, Tuesday, 2 June 2020 20:37 (three years ago) link

also lol Matt DC is cancelled forever XD

imago, Tuesday, 2 June 2020 20:38 (three years ago) link

lol soz Matt

Is Lou Reed a Good Singer? (Tom D.), Tuesday, 2 June 2020 20:39 (three years ago) link

consistently repping for Hitchens for over 10 years :D

hip posts without flaggadocio (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 2 June 2020 20:39 (three years ago) link

now you have calz to help! :D

imago, Tuesday, 2 June 2020 20:41 (three years ago) link

obviously if the fbook post of mine dom helpfully retrieved wasn't heavily sarcastic i am very cancelled too. fortunately i am choosing to believe that it was

imago, Tuesday, 2 June 2020 20:42 (three years ago) link

lol

The full exchange. Good grief. pic.twitter.com/0jpL7WKcYV

— rhys (@rhysjeffs) June 2, 2020

The convo in full btw. At least he took Fiona fucking Bruce down with him.

Le Bateau Ivre, Wednesday, 3 June 2020 12:05 (three years ago) link


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