WORLD WAR THREE

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According to the WOPR.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
Not To Play5
Taiwan Theaterwide 4
Uganda Maximum 3
India Pakistan War 3
Chad Interdiction 2
Albanian Decoy 2
Turkish Heavy 2
Swiss Incident 2
Denmark Massive 2
U.S. First Strike 2
English Thrust 2
Arctic Minimal 1
Moroccan Minimal 1
Czech Option 1
S. African Offensive 1
Gabon Rebellion 1
Pakistan Sovereignty 1
Hawaiian Escalation 1
Mexican Takeover 1
Iceland Maximum 1
Sudan Surprise 1
SEATO Decapitating 1
Zaire Alliance 1
USSR First Strike 1
Middle East Heavy 1
Hong Kong Variant 1
S.African Subversion 0
Romanian Strike 0
Thai Subversion 0
US USSR Escalation 0
Mediterranean War 0
Kenya Option 0
Chile Confrontation 0
USSR Alert 0
Pacific Defense 0
Far East Strategy 0
Bangladesh Theaterwid (sic) 0
Taiwan Misdirection 0
Arabian Offensive 0
Spain Counter 0
Burmese Maneuver 0
NATO/Warsaw Pact 0
Arabian Clandestine 0
Polish Paramilitary 0
Northern Territorial 0
Thai Variation 0
Romanian War 0
Gabon Takeover 0
Palistinian Local (sic) 0
Portugal Revolution 0
Pacific Maneuver 0
NATO Territorial 0
Pact Medium 0
Cambodian Heavy 0
U.S. Defense 0
NATO Incursion 0
Saudi Maneuver 0
U.S. Subversion 0
Arabian Theaterwide 0
French Alliance 0
Libyan Local 0
Syrian Provocation 0
Vietnamese Retaliotio (sic) 0
Iceland Escalation 0
NATO Containment 0
Iranian Maneuver 0
Cuban Provocation 0
SEATO Takeover 0
Argentina Escalation 0
Chad Alert 0


El Tomboto, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:21 (sixteen years ago) link

many of these are also sex acts, according to urbandictionary

I DIED, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:22 (sixteen years ago) link

i walked in on my college roommate once while he was engaged in the Thai Variation

Mr. Que, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:23 (sixteen years ago) link

have you ever done a Vietnamese Retaliotio?

Mark Clemente, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:24 (sixteen years ago) link

"I'm going to give you the Kenya Option tonight"

El Tomboto, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:24 (sixteen years ago) link

hahah this is great

Mark Clemente, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:24 (sixteen years ago) link

English Thrust actually NOT a sex act

I DIED, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:24 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pk5CQBLqMwE

Alex in Baltimore, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:25 (sixteen years ago) link

I like how Iceland is so important it gets TWO options

Shakey Mo Collier, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:25 (sixteen years ago) link

Seriously, who the fuck even knows where Gabon is?

El Tomboto, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:26 (sixteen years ago) link

Africa

Mr. Que, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:26 (sixteen years ago) link

I love this fucking movie. I've told teenage coworkers with FRIEND DRAMA "The only winning move is not to play" and they think I'm some fount of wisdom. hahaha

Abbott, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:26 (sixteen years ago) link

Gabongoans know. (xxpost)

StanM, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:27 (sixteen years ago) link

Do they also know that a rebellion or a takeover in their country could apparently set off the end of the world?

El Tomboto, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:28 (sixteen years ago) link

least pleasant to receive:

Sudan Surprise
Swiss Incident
Syrian Provocation

I DIED, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:28 (sixteen years ago) link

The Turkish Heavy was the result of a Adana kebab feast at Incirlik, which clogged the sewers all the way to Antakya.

Euler, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:29 (sixteen years ago) link

I likt this one:

Arctic Minimal

Where the hell did you find this list, T-bot?

Abbott, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:29 (sixteen years ago) link

nothing gets them dressed and the door faster than SEATO Decapitating, I find

El Tomboto, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:30 (sixteen years ago) link

I, uh, wrote it down from the youtube clip.

El Tomboto, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:30 (sixteen years ago) link

I am sick at home.

El Tomboto, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:30 (sixteen years ago) link

Syrian Provocation can be a nice change, if it's done correctly.

Mr. Que, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:30 (sixteen years ago) link

the Mexican Takeover destroyed my marriage

El Tomboto, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:31 (sixteen years ago) link

http://cache.kotaku.com/assets/resources/2007/04/defcon.jpg

kingfish, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:31 (sixteen years ago) link

Strange game.

stet, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:31 (sixteen years ago) link

I CAN'T DECIDE BETWEEN "MEXICAN TAKEOVER" AND "CHAD ALERT"

Curt1s Stephens, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:32 (sixteen years ago) link

Looks like FOURTH OF JULY BLESS MY SOUL

Abbott, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:32 (sixteen years ago) link

Libyan Local sounds like some kind of improvised anaesthetic (ie doctor hits you in the head with a hammer)

Shakey Mo Collier, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:33 (sixteen years ago) link

you have to be pretty limber to attempt the Pacific Maneuver.

That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:35 (sixteen years ago) link

wooo Taiwan Theaterwide!

jessie monster, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:48 (sixteen years ago) link

Taiwan Theaterwide

most likely

Catsupppppppppppppp dude 茄蕃, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:56 (sixteen years ago) link

I think Chad Interdiction is going to be my next screen name.

Rock Hardy, Monday, 19 November 2007 20:59 (sixteen years ago) link

how bout you and I do the Arabian Clandestine *wink* *wink*

Heave Ho, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:02 (sixteen years ago) link

SEATO Decapitating, Taiwan Misdirection, and Arabian Clandestine should all be band names.

jessie monster, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:03 (sixteen years ago) link

I, uh, wrote it down from the youtube clip.

Tombot, you are a hero.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:05 (sixteen years ago) link

wow, apparently BRGR is a real place now.

kingfish, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:23 (sixteen years ago) link

Do they also know that a rebellion or a takeover in their country could apparently set off the end of the world?

I recall that Gabon has some oil reserves, so anything potentially petro-related = WW3 bait.

Elvis Telecom, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:46 (sixteen years ago) link

I voted for the Denmark Massive

Elvis Telecom, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:47 (sixteen years ago) link

These also could be missing titles for Global Underground's DJ sets.

Elvis Telecom, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:48 (sixteen years ago) link

guys I heard there's gonna be a revolution in Portugal

Shakey Mo Collier, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:49 (sixteen years ago) link

Uganda Maximum would make a killer porno name

latebloomer, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:50 (sixteen years ago) link

The ARCTIC, guys, it seems hardly volatile unless Santa or some Caribou are stashing enriched uranium.

Abbott, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:50 (sixteen years ago) link

Well, it does look like it has some dangerous PLAYZONES:

http://www.arcticcirclerest.com/images/playzone.gif

Abbott, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:52 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.arcticcirclerest.com/images/cnr_frysauce.jpg

Abbott, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:53 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.arcticcirclerest.com/images/kidmeal.jpg

Abbott, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:53 (sixteen years ago) link

Swiss Cheese Incident?

elmo argonaut, Monday, 19 November 2007 21:53 (sixteen years ago) link

http://www.dickdestiny.com/gameoversmall.JPG

Gorge, Monday, 19 November 2007 23:55 (sixteen years ago) link

Moroccan Minimal was my pick. Sounds like some sort of crappy dragon J.K.Rowling might invent.

Just got offed, Monday, 19 November 2007 23:58 (sixteen years ago) link

did Norman Podhoretz write the script?

Alfred, Lord Sotosyn, Monday, 19 November 2007 23:59 (sixteen years ago) link

hehehehehe

Heave Ho, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 01:02 (sixteen years ago) link

this is tremendous, but 'not to play' shouldn't be a visible option--unless you add 'a nice game of chess'

mookieproof, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 01:19 (sixteen years ago) link

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/206/511470436_b8ab13cdaf.jpg

Elvis Telecom, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 02:22 (sixteen years ago) link

Last time I was in Other Music it was like the Arctic Minimal section had taken over the whole store.

Casuistry, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 03:03 (sixteen years ago) link

WTF with Spain Counter, there's pretty much just one, innit.

nickn, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 03:39 (sixteen years ago) link

"Denmark Massive"

isn't this a street gang?

Ste, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 09:38 (sixteen years ago) link

"Heh, the old Albanian Decoy, eh Bond? Saw it coming a mile away."

en i see kay, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 09:49 (sixteen years ago) link

Chilly Confrontation haha

Ste, Tuesday, 20 November 2007 09:51 (sixteen years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

ILX System, Monday, 26 November 2007 00:01 (sixteen years ago) link

HONG KONG VARIANT

Jimmy The Mod Awaits The Return Of His Beloved, Monday, 26 November 2007 00:04 (sixteen years ago) link

I offer myself up to whoever wants to do an Iranian Maneuver to me.

The Reverend, Monday, 26 November 2007 00:34 (sixteen years ago) link

Czech Option

I thought you could czech option on any of these.

Pleasant Plains, Monday, 26 November 2007 01:24 (sixteen years ago) link

Uganda Maximum.

J0rdan S., Monday, 26 November 2007 01:26 (sixteen years ago) link

How many of these are also novels that can only be bought in airports?

Ed, Monday, 26 November 2007 11:30 (sixteen years ago) link

Perhaps Grady can post some pics of the Hawaiian Escalation.

Mark C, Monday, 26 November 2007 12:10 (sixteen years ago) link

Vietnamese Retaliotio

Some kind of fusion pasta dish

ledge, Monday, 26 November 2007 12:11 (sixteen years ago) link

A lot of these sound like chess strategies.

Tuomas, Monday, 26 November 2007 12:12 (sixteen years ago) link

most of them sound cribbed from Robert Ludlum's bibliography

i voted for Turkish Heavy

Tracer Hand, Monday, 26 November 2007 12:15 (sixteen years ago) link

Most of these scenarios have a rustic 1980s feel to them.

I miss the days when a KGB vs CIA tussle in a dirt poor African country could threaten human existence.

Ed, Monday, 26 November 2007 12:35 (sixteen years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

ILX System, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 00:01 (sixteen years ago) link

Oh, come on.

El Tomboto, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 00:04 (sixteen years ago) link

SEATO Decapitating, Albanian Decoy, and English Thrust splitting the awesome vote, I see.

en i see kay, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 00:06 (sixteen years ago) link

wooo Taiwan Theaterwide!

-- jessie monster, Monday, November 19, 2007 3:48 PM (Monday, November 19, 2007 3:48 PM)

jessie monster, Tuesday, 27 November 2007 00:07 (sixteen years ago) link

eight years pass...

The Walloon Impasse

mookieproof, Friday, 28 October 2016 15:17 (seven years ago) link

Most of these scenarios have a rustic 1980s feel to them.

I miss the days when a KGB vs CIA tussle in a dirt poor African country could threaten human existence.

― Ed, Monday, November 26, 2007 12:35 PM (eight years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

the scenario that some people are sketching out that goes: Clinton victory > US establishes no fly zone in Syria > aerial confrontation between US and Russia > WW3 - is this in any way plausible or just alarmist scaremongering

soref, Monday, 7 November 2016 03:06 (seven years ago) link

Completely implausible. For all his faults, Putin seems to have a decent grasp on reality.

I was just about to say "would be the quickest WW3 ever" but then realized I started this poll with a list of variations on a theme, and every WW3 ever is the quickest WW3 ever, because that's what WW3 would be if it ever happened.

ELECTION (no comey I) (El Tomboto), Monday, 7 November 2016 03:17 (seven years ago) link

OK, how about this scenario? http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2016/07/russia-nato-trump-shirreff/492938/

“In terms of the risk equation for whoever’s sitting in the Kremlin, if he or she decides to have a go at the Baltic states, he may just decide, ‘Yeah I think the chances are I’ll get away with it,’” Shirreff told me. “And that, of course, makes the world more dangerous.”

The ensuing conflict, according to Shirreff, could escalate in harrowing ways. Russia, he said, “integrates nuclear thinking into every aspect of their military thinking and doctrine,” which includes the concept of “nuclear de-escalation.” Putin, for example, could attack and occupy the Baltic states and then, before NATO has a chance to retaliate, threaten to drop a tactical nuclear weapon on a NATO target.

(would rely appreciate it if Tombot or someone could tell me that this is similarly implausible)

soref, Wednesday, 9 November 2016 14:38 (seven years ago) link

Russia doesn't give a damn about the Baltics.

Even if they did, to 'get away with it' would require the rest of the EU and NATO to turn a blind eye, not just the US. The international community could trash the Russian economy overnight if they wanted to.

Bubba H.O.T.A.P.E (ShariVari), Wednesday, 9 November 2016 14:42 (seven years ago) link

two years pass...

just spent 20min painstakingly remaking this poll before searching for it in last-minute pre-post check lol

difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 24 April 2019 19:32 (four years ago) link

A good half of these are ready-made Ludlum titles. Reminding me of thisILX thread.

A is for (Aimless), Wednesday, 24 April 2019 19:38 (four years ago) link

god dammit i'd piss on a sparkplug if i thought it'd do any good

mookieproof, Wednesday, 24 April 2019 19:57 (four years ago) link

what kind of asshole lives on an island and doesn't even have a boat

difficult listening hour, Wednesday, 24 April 2019 20:10 (four years ago) link

"chad interdiction" sounds like some incel shit

they're not booing you, sir, they're shouting "Boot Edge Edge" (Will M.), Wednesday, 24 April 2019 21:04 (four years ago) link

two years pass...

from pandemic to the third world war

Punster McPunisher, Thursday, 24 February 2022 06:17 (two years ago) link

in almost all close calls russia played a major role, of course

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_III#Historical_close_calls

Punster McPunisher, Thursday, 24 February 2022 06:38 (two years ago) link

Whose corny sockpuppet account is this? Calzino? *ducks*

recovering internet addict/shitposter (viborg), Thursday, 24 February 2022 14:56 (two years ago) link

Chad Alert

ciderpress, Thursday, 24 February 2022 15:53 (two years ago) link

Ctl-F "Ukraine": phrase not found

whew!

more difficult than I look (Aimless), Thursday, 24 February 2022 18:09 (two years ago) link

i'm not following

Punster McPunisher, Thursday, 24 February 2022 20:55 (two years ago) link

no, I would not like to play a game

mh, Friday, 25 February 2022 03:27 (two years ago) link

probably with the bees

mookieproof, Friday, 25 February 2022 04:03 (two years ago) link

After very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that this thread revive sucks.

Elvis Telecom, Friday, 25 February 2022 10:52 (two years ago) link

Hell I'd piss on a sparkplug if I thought it would do any good

Ste, Friday, 25 February 2022 11:33 (two years ago) link

"this corn is raw"
"yes, it's healthier that way"
"can we take pills, and cook the corn?"

Ste, Friday, 25 February 2022 11:33 (two years ago) link

"He's dead? Wow he doesn't look very old?"
"oh he was 45"
"oh right, yeah that's old"

Ste, Friday, 25 February 2022 11:36 (two years ago) link

"Who first came up with the idea of A-sexual reproduction?"
"Your wife?"

Ste, Friday, 25 February 2022 11:38 (two years ago) link

this movie fucking rocks

Ste, Friday, 25 February 2022 11:39 (two years ago) link

I heard that the Denmark Massive are playing the 101 this Saturday

Ste, Friday, 25 February 2022 11:42 (two years ago) link

i'm in desperate need of a paleontologist

difficult listening hour, Friday, 25 February 2022 15:06 (two years ago) link

Mister Potato Head!, MISTER POTATO HEAD!

Ste, Friday, 25 February 2022 15:10 (two years ago) link

Does your little friend want to stay for dinner?

stet, Friday, 25 February 2022 16:13 (two years ago) link

did anybody bother to watch the sequel? Guessing it was just a generic hacker movie that had nothing in common with the original.

Ste, Friday, 25 February 2022 16:30 (two years ago) link

for the record, i just wanted an existing thread to talk about close calls

you guys are reading way too much into this

Punster McPunisher, Friday, 25 February 2022 17:53 (two years ago) link


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