Things you will endlessly lecture on if given the chance (aka woe to anyone who asks me about muppets when I'm drunk)

- quitting smoking

- jane austen (so embarrassing)

- kraftwerk

the upper peninsula of michigan

- whatever nonfiction i'm reading at the time

- new york yankees baseball teams of the early, mid and late 1990s
- good nutrition & the state of food politics in contemporary north america (sometimes with added "phenomenology of food and what can heidegger tell us about how we eat" bonus) <--- guaranteed party-clearer
- super smash bros. (n64 and melee)
- strategy in settlers of catan
- r. kelly

Have you successfully quit smoking, slocki? I'm trying (and succeeding), I mean I need to quit but the impetus right now is "have no $$$," and I'm worries once I have $$$ I'll be like "oil well, what'll a little while longer hurt?"

-Idaho, Idaho culture, Idaho counties and Idaho politics
- Also Wyoming
- Also Utah
- Also, marrying the above three, mormons and their x-treme weirfness

- the inadequacies of various word processing programs, specifically grammer & spellchecking.

- the different political biases of different newspapers.

- why all types of pasta are redundant aside from spagetti, tagliatelle, penne, and lasagne.

- the under/misrepresentation of my area of the country on TV.

- the decline of the IT hardware business in the UK.

- reality TV and the cult of meaningless celebrity.

- System analysis and design methodologies.

- The history of various games consoles, illustrated with various "interesting" anecdotes.

- why it's vital that Han shoots first.

- why it's vital that Han shoots first.

OTM

ILX itself is kind of a testament to my answers to this question already

The economy, politics, and sometimes feeling irate?

and BABY BOOMERS

Tomboto dittoto

you guys are neglecting my litany of musings on ILNFL and ILG

OMG I can imagine having ultimate drunk ragefest at baby boomers w/tombot.

Oh yeah and on dragon quest too!

don't forget offensive line play as the microcosmic metaphor/tea leaves of a team's entire season and the playstation 3 as being doomed from the start

im tempted to start a 'favorite tombot rant topic' poll

I'm a baby boomer, you guys can rage at me while I rage at Democratic Party.

This is totally going to shock anyone who doesn't know me off-board, but, umm ... I don't think I have any of these topics? I might be wrong.

I complain abt baby boomers to my mom-in-law more than anyone, the woman who said "there's nothing weirder than being filmed for the woodstock movie while yr on mescaline and then watching that while on mescaline." She is the only one who is not a DOUCHE about money and future generations. OTOH she is addicted to stealing Coach/D&B/BCBG purses.

- David Mancuso/ Nicky Siano

well, you future generations are certainly gonna steal all our goddamn money.

- good nutrition & the state of food politics in contemporary north america

our library has hosted quite a few talks about this! i think the most recent one was about the farm bill. (marion nestle works at this school)

on a related note, my own answer to the question:

- the importance of establishing easily accessible archives for research purposes
- the best diners in the north-central new jersey area
- why disco was important (i actually did give this lecture to a friend who claimed otherwise)
- eurovision

one of my major topics is a multi-part defense of NJ

- strategy in settlers of catan

^^^ this!!!

also
• free trade
• canada's "new" government
• photoshoping images

Abbott, I would seriously like to get drunk with you and discuss the muppets.

I'm very, very good at it! It's probably the best thing to do when drunk. If I ever see you around, we are SO. ON.

- the role of Taiwan in Sino-Japanese relations (LOL HONORS THESIS)
- China in general
- MY OPINIONS ON THINGS.

Abbott I actually kind of want your opinions on Blankets.

haha jessie i would talk to ANYONE who asked abt my thesis a month or so ago but now that ive been working on it for a while i HATE talking about it and speak in as vague terms as possible

my roommate is a china politics nerd too btw so i hear more than i need to about taiwan

-whaling
-imperialism, but only specific areas
-Armenian national identity/diaspora
-cooking
-Jesus (actually, I think I am more likely to talk about Jesus when drunk than any of the above...once, this led to me and a couple other nerds singing Jesus Christ Superstar through at a disintegrating party and then the Catholic making me and the Jewish guy promise to go to afternoon mass tomorrow, which we actually did, and kinda liked.)

But usually, this does not happen, because usually I don't start going on about any of my obsessions when drunk unless someone prompts me. Really, I'm not that ridiculously awful to be around.

- why the real value at Taco Bell isn't to be found on the Value Menu
- can't think of anything else at the moment

- how there is nothing whatsoever that you can do to prevent, stall, hinder or obstruct the gentrification of whatever area you don't want to see gentrified, that is unless you are a trillionaire

burt reynolds: awesome without mustache, cheesy with mustache

why the real value at Taco Bell isn't to be found on the Value Menu

I am actually interested in hearing this riff. Particularly if I'm also drunk, and it's 1 in the morning, and we're on the way to Taco Bell.

BLASPHEMY!

xpost

- why Norman McLaren's Lines Horizontal is FUCKING AMAZING
- why modern advertising is extremely detrimental to capitalism
- film grain vs. pixels
- AUDIO: vinyl for listening to music, 96Hz 24-bit poly-wav for everything else, HERE'S WHY
- the works of Haruki Murakami, and how I printed his face on my hoodie

Did you guys know I'm in college?

the upper peninsula of michigan
Idaho, Idaho culture, Idaho counties and Idaho politics

I have lectured on both of these topics (the latter much less knowledgeably than the former) within the last week.

Most recently I went off about various Unix daemons to a group of friends who didn't know what I was talking about and didn't know why I would know about these things.

Han totally fired first, and I can discuss that at length at the drop of a hat. Along with how the only "real" Star Wars movies are the first three, original release. None of this CG-doctored crap that was added later.

Viggo, his movies, his art, his politics ... it's kinda sad. Also, how his son really, truly needs to meet our daughter. ;D

Religion.
Journalism.
History.
The history of religious journalism.
The journalism of religious history.
The religion of historic journalism.
Books books books books
Writing.
Role-play gaming.
Anything, really. It's sad.

Most recently I went off about various Unix daemons to a group of friends who didn't know what I was talking about and didn't know why I would know about these things.

Once I was talking to a client on the phone, and started going on about Shroedinger's Cat, and he freaked out a bit and hung up. I later realised that because of my manic delivery he thought that I actually had a cat in a box with a canister of poison gas and that I was threatening him or something.

did you open it and find out?

Well it was something like this:

Client: "I'm just calling to see if those parts I ordered have arrived."
Me: "Well we've just had a delivery, but I haven't opened it yet. Your stuff could be inside the box, but it might not be. A bit like Shroedinger's Cat."
Client: "Erm... sorry, like what?"
Me: [getting excited] "Shroedinger's Cat! It's like I've got a cat in a sealed box with a poison gas canister! And there's a 50-50 chance the canister will go off and kill the cat! But because the box is sealed you don't know if the cat is dead or alive until you open the box!"
Client: "Er... I'll call back later thanksbye" <CLICK>

Unlimited Texas Hold Them Poker Card Game.

-the use of war dogs by Allied forces in WWII
-WWII in general
-why the sociopolitical & -economical aspects of Max Brooks' World War Z were more interesting than just the zombies, including his satire of modern american cultures and openly advocating for a return to New Deal sensibilities.
-Grim Fandango, and how it is a cultural product even as it synthesizes several different cultural products
-the experience of watching college athletics v. professional, which quickly morphs into a discussion of Univ. of Michigan football vs Michigan hockey, and eventually it just dissolves into me telling stories of the shit we would pull at hockey games.

-also, politickin' and the controlling ideologies of batshit rightwing fuckheads.

- Bourbon
- The familial conditions that lead to how people i know became the people they are today
- Why the lack of bourbon in my glass is a travesty of life altering proportions
- How amazing my wife is
- Tony Rice and his guitar playing
- Blues music
- Whatever nonfiction I'm reading at the time - This is SO OTM I cannot even express it. I was SUCH an asshole about fast food for like months after Fast Food Nation
- Why SUVs really, really suck

Idaho, Idaho culture, Idaho counties and Idaho politics

OMG joygoat what did you say?

Also, maria, you have no idea how many times I've busted into JC Superstar in public.

People who shit loudly

- The Wire
- Galaxies, astrophysics (but not cosmology or quantum mechanics or other bong-hit pop sci, which is the only bit of my job anyone actually wants to talk about at parties)
- Why satsumas are the best citrus fruit and how people who confuse them with mandarins or (especially) clementines are worse than paedophiles
- If you or I were in a film, who would play us?
- The film Shadowlands

There is a great McSweeney's list about this called something like "Topics my father will talk about at great length if mentioned". I will copy it out when I get home.

Hang on, forgot three.

- The history of the state of California
- The history of Sydney, Australia
- Teddy Roosevelt

- neko case
- johnny cash
- water resources law and property rights to water in australia
- sustainability policy and/or the triple bottom line
- the australian labor party
- our abominable local 'newspaper' (the west australian)
- the bell litigation
- the merits of harm minimisation in dealing with alcohol and other substance use problems
- corporate governance and corporate social responsibility

also
- driver errors/behaviour

two of the topics in my list formed the subject of two separate honours theses. Pity my friends. Astonishing they still speak to me at all really.

Just remembered:

- The Evils of Nationalism and Amoral Patriotism

Twin Peaks
Sociolinguistics
Why we are all going to die and my apocolyptic nightmares that I hope never come true
Dresses
British magazine journalism 1980 - present day.
If I am very drunk: how wonderful you are and why I don't appreciate you enough.

- good nutrition & the state of food politics in contemporary north america (sometimes with added "phenomenology of food and what can heidegger tell us about how we eat" bonus) <--- guaranteed party-clearer

i got way too high last night and did this lecture basically in full in front of a few ppl i dont know that well and i think they dont ever want to talk to me again

i actually went to my room to get "the question concerning technology" to read bits of it to them

i must also drink with Kate and learn how in the hell she does it! I MUST KNOPW!

Marvel Comics 1972-1978
Frank Zappa

- ethanol/hydrogen fuel

i only lecture to audiences of more than 6 people

i have these other things called conversations tho

this thread makes me want to have sooo many conversations, or be a lecture audience. where do y'all live again?

Swedish film
Spanish film
Mystical philosophy
German film

haha rrrobyn congratulations on your fancy "social skills"

where do y'all live again?
http://photos-d.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v150/103/125/36910239/n36910239_35469211_4596.jpg

Hrotsvitha.

Also, that article I just read in, was it the Atlantic or Harpers? I forget. I didn't like it when I read it but I've been thinking a lot about it lately.

Tennyson.

Kids I teach, and teaching them.

- Any tangent that involves being devil's advocate in the current conversation

ha this is me

- triathlons
- the joys of junk food
- shitty parents
- shitty hipster music fans
- sex
- magazines, newspapers, and books
- why large organizations are doomed to fail
- the music business

i don't really speak unless i'm drinking

I dare you to find a more Muppety beat than this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUJyX62HTxc

Which is the victory song from their Gamecube game

Dig that bass!

public sector pension schemes and the variant strands thereof and the considerable differences between each

Public sector recruitment policy and the role played by public sector unions in determining said policy. And Robespierre.

and the link, presumably

Would that a link existed.

the public service loan forgiveness program

...and marble madness

hamlet

why bands in the local music scene aren't successful

-Whiskey
-Silent and early sound films

* alex trebek
* linguistics
* how much i hate andrew jackson
* whatever the hell i just read about on wikipedia (usually "on this day")
* jazz musicians nobody else has heard of

-pro-wrestling.

Yakuza games
The noise Morrissey makes in Rubber Ring pretending to be a lift
Whatever weird internet thing that I would never talk about normally

american wites

photography

kraftwerk

2001: a space odyssey

this is why no-one invites me to parties

multilingualism and minority languages

xp wkiw

full solidarity with fellow 2001 obsessives

ILX

I was really drunk on Saturday and I think the cab driver got a full hour on English history, Celts -> Normans w/ the occasional Brexit digression.

Virginia Woolf
Mid-career Elvis Costello
Lawns, why they are stupid
Local history
Cahokia
Patronizing sports bars while not even remotely liking sports
Stonewall Jackson's flank march at the battle of Chancellorsville
X-linked intellectual disability
Post-impressionist painting
Erotic thrillers
Eggs Benedict

Any topic about which I know slightly more than the listener(s) (thus exploiting my relative breadth of knowledge/interests without exposing its correlative lack of depth, what up my fellow mega-dilettantes)

Patronizing sports bars while not even remotely liking sports

opposite

dance dance revolution
babies, sorry

Haneke