The dying days of the Fourth Reich: it's the 2007 AUSTRALIAN FEDERAL ELECTION

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Six weeks until the end of 11+ years of John "No, I never stole any of my ideas from Pauline Hanson" Howard as the Big Kahuna of Australia? Apparently so since he called it today.

We Australians now have a choice between the Liberal Party (note: in Australia, Liberal means right-wing nutcase) and the New New Labor Party (Blair so obviously ripped off Hawke/Keating, except they never invaded Iraq) run by a guy that kinda looks a younger John Howard but speaks Mandarin and went to a strip club once.

The obvious response from the public has been, "SIX MORE WEEKS OF THIS SHIT?"

...

King Boy Pato, Sunday, 14 October 2007 10:06 (thirteen years ago) link

I am also watching out my front window, waiting for some Liberal Party foot soldier to put an election poster up by my house so I can diss the conservative fool and shove that cardboard up where the sun don't shine.

But knowing my neighborhood, I reckon The Greens will get there first.

King Boy Pato, Sunday, 14 October 2007 10:10 (thirteen years ago) link

But would the Greens bloke use cardboard???

Fred Nerk, Sunday, 14 October 2007 10:16 (thirteen years ago) link

You're right. Bob Brown probably will send out a YouTube vid instead. It should be the Democrats who'll get there first.

Hey, remember the Democrats?

King Boy Pato, Sunday, 14 October 2007 10:27 (thirteen years ago) link

Proof that Julia Gillard is a socialist and possibly a communist that wants to be the next Stalin: she has RED hair!!

King Boy Pato, Sunday, 14 October 2007 13:40 (thirteen years ago) link

DAY ONE:

John Howard is down and hip with "the kids" - promising tax cuts on YouTube!

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 08:57 (thirteen years ago) link

a tax cut ain't gonna do it this time johnny (or ever for that matter)

electricsound, Monday, 15 October 2007 09:03 (thirteen years ago) link

Never underestimate the stupidity/gullibility of the Australian public, Jimbo.

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 09:08 (thirteen years ago) link

I really havent been paying any attention: is it looking impossible for the Libs to get back in? Its just we were all so confident last time round and well, look what happened...

Trayce, Monday, 15 October 2007 09:08 (thirteen years ago) link

... and what he said.

Trayce, Monday, 15 October 2007 09:08 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah but this time we got someone SANE leading the Labor Party.

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 09:16 (thirteen years ago) link

Could Rudd be the John Kerry of Australia though?

Zelda Zonk, Monday, 15 October 2007 09:35 (thirteen years ago) link

nar he's hillary

electricsound, Monday, 15 October 2007 09:37 (thirteen years ago) link

I mean he's the nerd who speaks a weirdo foreign lingo and can't kick a football, I mean what kind of real Aussie is he?

Zelda Zonk, Monday, 15 October 2007 09:38 (thirteen years ago) link

wayne swan for PM

electricsound, Monday, 15 October 2007 09:42 (thirteen years ago) link

The 'Right Leadership' line seems set to be the Libs bumper sticker slogan.

At lweast they didn't pick something really smug and self-righteous....

I'm more concerned about the Kruddmeister as the John Howard of the ALP. Which means that by some time around 2025 his zero-impact personality might have osmoded into enough voters' minds to be seen as a potential Prime Minister.

Fred Nerk, Monday, 15 October 2007 09:46 (thirteen years ago) link

I should mention that my local MP is totally hot and very much rootable.

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 11:12 (thirteen years ago) link

LOL at the English papers going "look at John Howard for calling an election unlike THAT WIMP GORDON BROWN".

And not because John Howard has been putting it off for months and *had* to finally call it.

This is why we need another Republic referendum. This time, one not rigged by Howard.

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:06 (thirteen years ago) link

Foreigners: feel free to ask questions. I will respond with obscure jokes, I promise.

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:14 (thirteen years ago) link

Foreigners: feel free to ask questions. I will respond with obscure jokes, I promise.

In Australia, is it necessary to have no charisma to be in the running for prime minister?

Zelda Zonk, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:18 (thirteen years ago) link

Yes since 1996, I'm afraid.

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:21 (thirteen years ago) link

In the good old days, you need to be an alcoholic to be in the running for PM.

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:22 (thirteen years ago) link

If you elect a new leader, will your countrymen please fuck off out of East London en masse?

Dom Passantino, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:37 (thirteen years ago) link

I should mention that my local MP is totally hot and very much rootable.

-- King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 11:12 (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

.jpg plz

Pashmina, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:38 (thirteen years ago) link

"I should mention that my local MP is totally hot and very much rootable."

I never knew you lived in Fabulous Phil Ruddock's electorate?

Fred Nerk, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:45 (thirteen years ago) link

If you elect a new leader, will your countrymen please fuck off out of East London en masse?

Perhaps a new PM could negotiate a population exchange with all the Brit backpackers in Bondi?

Zelda Zonk, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:47 (thirteen years ago) link

Can we just drown both groups somewhere off the coast of Madagascar?

Dom Passantino, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:49 (thirteen years ago) link

Although that chain of Ozzie pie shops in London have some good eating. Like a less council Greggs.

Dom Passantino, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:49 (thirteen years ago) link

Pato election commentary. This thread is going to be GOLD. Please post pics of the candidates.

question: if im a US resident but an Australian citizen, do I need to vote?

sunny successor, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:50 (thirteen years ago) link

Sadly, not that genuine stud (or that gay sex symbol himself, Wilson "Ironbar" Tuckey) but the rather lovely MP for Adelaide.

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:50 (thirteen years ago) link

If you elect a new leader, will your countrymen please fuck off out of East London en masse?

That would be about the same time when your countrymen fuck off out of East Sydney en masse?

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:51 (thirteen years ago) link

Aw shit, someone beat me to that cliche.

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:52 (thirteen years ago) link

that would please a lot of people. (xpost)

sunny successor, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:53 (thirteen years ago) link

if im a US resident but an Australian citizen, do I need to vote?

No, they changed the law so nobody under 50 can vote (I was told this by Triple J).

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 13:53 (thirteen years ago) link

"if im a US resident but an Australian citizen, do I need to vote?"

The H of R and Senate seats you would vote in are both determined by where you live in Oz, and as you don't live in Oz at all, I would guess not. It might depend on whether you own property use in Oz, or how long you've lived elsewhere and whether you intend to return.

(KBP, is 'East Sydney' also known locally as 'West Dunedin'?

Fred Nerk, Monday, 15 October 2007 14:03 (thirteen years ago) link

roffle of the day from JOHN LAWS of all people: he interviewed howard and rudd on his show this morning. an early talkback caller commented that he sounded quite pally with rudd and antagonistic toward howard, and asked if laws was getting paid by the ALP. lawsie asked the dude if he was being paid to be a fuckwit!!

haitch, Monday, 15 October 2007 14:10 (thirteen years ago) link

Of course 'Disgusted of Drummoyne' wasn't being paid to be a fuckwit, Lawsy.

At least nowhere near as much as you are.

Fred Nerk, Monday, 15 October 2007 14:14 (thirteen years ago) link

Paying Laws to be a fuckwit is like paying a rhinosceros to be ugly.

Fred Nerk, Monday, 15 October 2007 14:18 (thirteen years ago) link

I never knew you lived in Fabulous Phil Ruddock's electorate?

I live there this week! Call me, Phil!

energy flash gordon, Monday, 15 October 2007 22:10 (thirteen years ago) link

King Boy Deporto, not Estie.

energy flash gordon, Monday, 15 October 2007 22:10 (thirteen years ago) link

Ask King Boy more questions, overseas people.

moley, Monday, 15 October 2007 22:15 (thirteen years ago) link

I should mention that my local MP is totally hot and very much rootable.

samez, she in middle: http://www.anthonyalbanese.com.au/images/400Richmond.JPG

W4LTER, Monday, 15 October 2007 22:16 (thirteen years ago) link

Phwoar!!

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 22:23 (thirteen years ago) link

KBP, is 'East Sydney' also known locally as 'West Dunedin'?

West Dunedin is the entire coastline from Sydney to Cairns!

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 22:24 (thirteen years ago) link

I don't know why gangstas be hatin' on John Laws. Hegot dat bling bling, yo.

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200706/r154265_554938.jpg

King Boy Pato, Monday, 15 October 2007 22:26 (thirteen years ago) link

What's that shining in his glasses? A gold plated console?

moley, Monday, 15 October 2007 22:49 (thirteen years ago) link

This morning on Kochie and Mel the phone in poll voted 90% to 10 in favour of spending the $30+ billion on better services rather than the tax cuts promised by Howard & Costello. It looks like Joe Public's going to need more convincing than getting their own money taxed then handed back to them.

badg, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 00:20 (thirteen years ago) link

OMG the public in thinking sensibly shock

electricsound, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 00:47 (thirteen years ago) link

is lawsy's ring a GOLDEN LION???

sunny successor, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 01:54 (thirteen years ago) link

Yes, it appears so. There appears to be a ring of gold plating around the microphone too.

moley, Tuesday, 16 October 2007 02:01 (thirteen years ago) link

they should just split the party and be done with it

SBing Crosby (haitch), Wednesday, 25 November 2009 02:44 (eleven years ago) link

I really want Kevin Andrews to be leader, it's difficult to think of someone simultaneously so evil and so uncharismatic. It shouldn't be possible to describe someone as "like Ruddick but with a personality bypass."

Tim F, Wednesday, 25 November 2009 07:36 (eleven years ago) link

Duelling Kevins. Feel the charisma.

Attention please, a child has been lost in the tunnel of goats. (James Morrison), Wednesday, 25 November 2009 22:00 (eleven years ago) link

Kevin Andrews so crappy on 7.30 Report last night. "Malcolm should embrace everyone in the party, whatever their view" over and over again. Difficult to see what this means practically apart from Malcolm folding and agreeing with the Minchin Crew.

Tim F, Thursday, 26 November 2009 01:35 (eleven years ago) link

So five lib frontbenchers have resigned, and I'm completely confused now. Which'll learn me for not bothering with political news. Its oer the emissions trading scheme - were the resginees aganist there being one at all, or did they want it more tough, or..? (Im assuming the former but god knows)

hulk would smash (Trayce), Thursday, 26 November 2009 07:43 (eleven years ago) link

Basically the resignees/anti-Malcolm faction are a coalition of two only slightly different position - the hardliners who are all "no ETS no way no how", and then recalcitrants who want to wait until after Copenhagen before agreeing to an ETS (as if Copenhagen will make a difference one way or another). Either way they think agreeing to ETS now is a disaster.

At least some of it is a more generalised, inchoate protest vote against Malcolm Turnbull emphasising the Liberal Party's liberalism at the expense of its conservatism.

Tim F, Thursday, 26 November 2009 10:09 (eleven years ago) link

So what's happening now.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 30 November 2009 03:04 (eleven years ago) link

joe hockey going to push for leadership takeover tomorrow

electrical audio's sm57 (electricsound), Monday, 30 November 2009 03:06 (eleven years ago) link

You people have funny names down there.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 30 November 2009 03:09 (eleven years ago) link

Your names are funnier. You people have names like Preston Schifflebein, Faith Popcorn, and Rudi Dangler.

moley, Monday, 30 November 2009 03:17 (eleven years ago) link

America is just wonderful that way! :-D

Ned Raggett, Monday, 30 November 2009 03:29 (eleven years ago) link

Yeah but we have Abbott and Costello! :D

hulk would smash (Trayce), Monday, 30 November 2009 04:37 (eleven years ago) link

Or er... we did, until this week.

hulk would smash (Trayce), Monday, 30 November 2009 04:38 (eleven years ago) link

wish i could find the offending paragraph on abbott & costello that got removed from bob ellis' book

SBing Crosby (haitch), Monday, 30 November 2009 05:46 (eleven years ago) link

about one changing political persuation after banging the other's then-girlfriend

SBing Crosby (haitch), Monday, 30 November 2009 05:51 (eleven years ago) link

ABBBOTTTTTT

electrical audio's sm57 (electricsound), Monday, 30 November 2009 22:59 (eleven years ago) link

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

electrical audio's sm57 (electricsound), Monday, 30 November 2009 22:59 (eleven years ago) link

Oh FUCK NO. WAAHHT. Stupid little head-bigeared bastard!

hulk would smash (Trayce), Monday, 30 November 2009 23:06 (eleven years ago) link

http://i45.tinypic.com/23rtmw3.jpg

electrical audio's sm57 (electricsound), Monday, 30 November 2009 23:07 (eleven years ago) link

As one of my friends just posted elsewhere "liberals elect blow up doll as new leader"

hulk would smash (Trayce), Monday, 30 November 2009 23:09 (eleven years ago) link

He'll be at least as effective as William Hague wa...wait a minute.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 30 November 2009 23:46 (eleven years ago) link

Anyway our Abbott would do a much better job than yours so let's send her over so she can tell the Liberals to go away and usher in better times.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 30 November 2009 23:47 (eleven years ago) link

Huzzah! I'd vote that.

hulk would smash (Trayce), Monday, 30 November 2009 23:48 (eleven years ago) link

Holy shit. This is madness. Ah well, why worry, it's not as though I want the Liberals to get back in. Crazy-arse fascist numbnuts that they are.

Attention please, a child has been lost in the tunnel of goats. (James Morrison), Tuesday, 1 December 2009 00:11 (eleven years ago) link

From http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/12/01/2757994.htm

Then there's Tony Abbott - the great 'People Skills' himself, whose defiance of political orthodoxy is beginning to rival Mr Turnbull's own.

What other leadership candidate would have had the magnificence, on Sunday, to ignore not just one, and not even two, but three central tenets of the political picture opportunity?

"Don't wear silly hats" has been defied before.

"Don't wear budgie smugglers" has also been defied, though with tragic results for the former NSW Liberal leader Peter Debnam, whose photoshoot in the briefest of swimming costumes heralded his imminent failure at the polls in 2007.

"If you have an extremely hairy back, for God's sake keep your shirt on" is not so much an accepted political maxim as an article of common sense, but it is sage advice nonetheless.

And yet: There was People Skills on Sunday, prancing about in the shallows wearing naught but a scrap of lycra, a lifesaver's cap and a fascinatingly goatish pelt.

Attention please, a child has been lost in the tunnel of goats. (James Morrison), Tuesday, 1 December 2009 00:13 (eleven years ago) link

Countdown to media revival of abortion debate with new liberal leader Abbott, in 3...2...

Lord Byron Bay of Pigs (SeekAltRoute), Tuesday, 1 December 2009 00:34 (eleven years ago) link

Oh god no, aaargh.

hulk would smash (Trayce), Tuesday, 1 December 2009 00:38 (eleven years ago) link

I am enjoying the fun ride that is Barnaby Joyce: Shadow Finance Minister with policy ripped straight from the LaR0uche krew.

no mate bruce springsteen is the american jimmy barnes (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 December 2009 10:19 (eleven years ago) link

^ congrats on not c+p'ing T. Martin's tweet about Joyce

an terror has occurred (sic), Monday, 14 December 2009 10:32 (eleven years ago) link

As if I'd steal T. Martin's work and use it on ILX.

Meanwhile, I am perplexed by my cousin's choice of Facebook groups. First she signs up to the group "No Kevin By 2011" and five minutes later she has become a fan of Bob Hawke. I...don't get it.

no mate bruce springsteen is the american jimmy barnes (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 December 2009 10:33 (eleven years ago) link

i met bob hawke in a bar last year

jabba hands, Monday, 14 December 2009 10:35 (eleven years ago) link

he was v orange

jabba hands, Monday, 14 December 2009 10:35 (eleven years ago) link

Are you sure it wasn't some drunk tanned bloke going "aaaaaarrrrrrrhhhhhhh"?

no mate bruce springsteen is the american jimmy barnes (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 December 2009 10:38 (eleven years ago) link

^remind me to show you my hawke impression

blarinet (electricsound), Monday, 14 December 2009 10:39 (eleven years ago) link

Can't be as good as my Hawke impression. It isn't next-level like my Howard impression, through.

no mate bruce springsteen is the american jimmy barnes (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 December 2009 10:43 (eleven years ago) link

what amateur hour horrors have you wrought with your reminiscing, jabba hands.

estela, Monday, 14 December 2009 11:08 (eleven years ago) link

good thing i didn't mention the time i met the goatse guy tbh

jabba hands, Monday, 14 December 2009 11:43 (eleven years ago) link

six months pass...

Rudd out?

James Mitchell, Wednesday, 23 June 2010 09:56 (eleven years ago) link

well this could be intersting

kilgour's chronic (electricsound), Wednesday, 23 June 2010 13:06 (eleven years ago) link

hmm

t-shart weather (electricsound), Wednesday, 23 June 2010 23:40 (eleven years ago) link

I so didn't believe this was going to happen.

I've completely missed all the hoo-haa tbh, work's been the worst busy ever in my life. Is this kind of ousting/coup really rare and unusual? Is this like what happened to whitlam? im shit at politics

C.R.E.P.E (Trayce), Thursday, 24 June 2010 04:53 (eleven years ago) link

no this is more like hawkey/keating

t-shart weather (electricsound), Thursday, 24 June 2010 04:56 (eleven years ago) link

this is the third leadership spill we've had in the last year, pollies be forgetting how to be a party

dyaon't (sic), Thursday, 24 June 2010 05:22 (eleven years ago) link

i hope the sex party doesn't have a spill

t-shart weather (electricsound), Thursday, 24 June 2010 05:26 (eleven years ago) link

Haw.

C.R.E.P.E (Trayce), Thursday, 24 June 2010 05:37 (eleven years ago) link

Well done, Ozmalia.

James Mitchell, Thursday, 24 June 2010 06:14 (eleven years ago) link

i kinda feel a little bad for the dude tho

t-shart weather (electricsound), Thursday, 24 June 2010 09:42 (eleven years ago) link

three weeks pass...

Liberal candidate punched in face over asylum policy

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2010/07/18/2956861.htm

GAME ON

bettina arnderpandts (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 17 July 2010 22:26 (eleven years ago) link

fuck wrong thread

bettina arnderpandts (Autumn Almanac), Saturday, 17 July 2010 22:27 (eleven years ago) link


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