So mainstream now
http://www.tubecrush.net/
― Alba, Monday, 18 April 2011 23:58 (thirteen years ago) link
Woman who sat right next to me and immediately sneezed her cold all over me: thick fuck
― finish with a fast piston pump (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 4 May 2011 22:13 (thirteen years ago) link
Woman eating a WHOLE CHICKEN on the train with her fingers: 0/10
― Child Hoodie's End (King Boy Pato), Thursday, 25 August 2011 08:47 (twelve years ago) link
Rather that than http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=715_1314132581
― James Mitchell, Thursday, 25 August 2011 08:55 (twelve years ago) link
Shrieking, turquoise-skinned mercenary regiment on the lower deck of the 185, deliberately mocking me by holding aloft the severed heads of my favourite primary school teachers: 3/10
― MPx4A, Thursday, 25 August 2011 09:05 (twelve years ago) link
The most awesome person who ever sat across or next to me on public transport asked me and my friends what three words in the English Language begin with "dw". We got "dwarf" straightaway and "dwell" not long after but couldn't think of the third, and my friends and I went back to talking amongst ourselves and he went back to doing whatever he was doing before he offered his conundrum. The bus reached its final destination and everyone got off, he started walking in the opposite direction to us but just at that moment I figured it out and called after him "dwindle". Without stopping or looking round he raised his fist in the air and shouted "Dwindle!"
― ledge, Thursday, 25 August 2011 09:27 (twelve years ago) link
that is amazing
― TracerHandVEVO (Tracer Hand), Thursday, 25 August 2011 09:50 (twelve years ago) link
15-yr-old girl who casually gave her number out and then, as the boy got off the bus and bid adieu with the words "I'll see you around", rebuffed him with "Yeah. Right. And that was my boyfriend's number": 10/10― lex pretend, Tuesday, April 3, 2007 1:48 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
― lex pretend, Tuesday, April 3, 2007 1:48 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink
Guy on bus with a roll of Morrison's "Reduced 10p" stickers for clearance items, passing them out to people and telling them it really helps with the shopping - both 1/10 and 10/10, the sentiment is nice but I hope most of the #26 aren't thieves as well.
― ha ha ha ha jack my swag (boxedjoy), Thursday, 25 August 2011 10:23 (twelve years ago) link
Kenta Kobashi and Toshiaki Kawada, violently trading Strong Style near-falls on the 484 towards Lewisham: 7/10 - breathtaking stuff, but caused quite a lot of confusion and crowding and a woman who'd been trying to get off the bus at Goose Green ended up having to stay on until the Oakhurst Grove stop as a result
― MPx4A, Thursday, 25 August 2011 11:18 (twelve years ago) link
ledge, i love that story.
― jed_, Thursday, 25 August 2011 14:42 (twelve years ago) link
"dweeb" is in my dictionary
― lex pretend, Thursday, 25 August 2011 14:53 (twelve years ago) link
Idiot couple sitting across from me on 3.5 hour train journey yesterday, you deserve more detail than one sentence allows; So...
Slurring, lager downing man, whose every mumbled utterance was leapt upon by (clearly) new girlfriend as though it were Oscar Wilde/Dorothy Parker reborn, accompanied by incessant, braying laughter, and you also put your filthy feet all over the seats in front - 3/10, at least I couldn't hear you much.
As for you, his sweet babboo, when you reach the point that a father on seats behind takes to imitating your laugh, to the delight of his children ("That's it Dad! She sounds just like a sheep!!") you might want to think about dialling down the chuckles, also when you complained that my wife and I were just sitting quietly reading and enjoying the scenery rather than pawing each other, making out and hobbling off to take coke in the train toilets: WE CAN HEAR YOU. That's a solid 0/10, you vacuous imbecile.
― that mustardless plate (Bill A), Monday, 13 February 2012 08:48 (twelve years ago) link
Guy noisily chowing down on a family-sized bag of crisps for your breakfast with a large bottle of coke to wash it down, 2/10 with a side order of diabetes.
― good luck in your pyramid (Neil S), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 08:47 (eleven years ago) link
I'm sure your army friend who takes the piss out of black people, Chinese people, Indian people, is really really funny and totally justified because he has the experience.
― Autumnal the faun (ledge), Sunday, 30 September 2012 15:45 (eleven years ago) link
(4/10 cause your friend clearly thinks you are hilarious)
― Autumnal the faun (ledge), Sunday, 30 September 2012 16:15 (eleven years ago) link
Respectable-looking middle-aged guy on the metro intently reading the articles in what appears to be a barely-legal porn magazine oblivious to the giggling fits of the teenage girls sitting on both sides of you, although i applaud your dedication to the literary arts, this really isn't socially acceptable. 3/10
― Go Narine, Go! (ShariVari), Sunday, 7 October 2012 11:43 (eleven years ago) link
Be the change you want to see imo.
― fish frosch (seandalai), Sunday, 7 October 2012 13:14 (eleven years ago) link
Loud yank girls trading long flat syllabic inanities loudly- 2/10
Innercity couple arguing about whether the smell has come out of her tracksuit 7/10
Fat aged marketing cokehead with expert opinions on stuff, to be shared with random crosseyed nun beside him 5 at best
― posters who have figured how to priv (darraghmac), Tuesday, 11 June 2013 08:34 (ten years ago) link
And only 5 cos she rolled her eyes at me about you
― posters who have figured how to priv (darraghmac), Tuesday, 11 June 2013 08:35 (ten years ago) link
At least i think she did
There's a man diagonally opposite me on the train right now literally shouting into his phone while detailing the events of his day. He's doing this while eating McDonald's and every other sentence is soused in chewing noises. He's in a business suit, of course. 2/10
― imago, Monday, 17 March 2014 19:54 (ten years ago) link
elderly dude wearing black everything with red trim including leather laptop bag, teased up white hair, general air of Kraftwerk's older brother: 9/10
― From Tha Crouuuch To Da Palacios (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 10 April 2014 18:39 (ten years ago) link
Sharply-dressed man with immaculate haircut eating sloppy porridge from a green plastic bowl - 6/10 simply for making me wonder where he produced said bowl from
Shameless lady in commuter sportswear speaking extremely loudly on the phone about what a fantastic weekend she had driving around in her new car - 4/10 why do people do this? Nobody gives a shit!
Woman who bustled in and proceeded to plonk herself down with such aimless force between me and another passenger that she practically sat on my lap, then pretended not to notice my audible 'oomph' and the fact I had to spend the rest of the journey sitting with just one butt-cheek on my seat. - 3/10 just ask and i'll happily get out your way.
― Piss-Up Artist (dog latin), Monday, 17 November 2014 14:54 (nine years ago) link
beanie hat playing loud autotuned dancehall on the jubilee line - 7/10 for causing not inconsiderable consternation amongst white bourgie exec types sitting opposite
― vacuum head tree disease (imago), Wednesday, 25 February 2015 19:44 (nine years ago) link
entire harlequins home support - 2/10 because this is the premiership rugby special out of waterloo after all
am in a 'quiet zone' and am somewhat tempted to invoke it for the only time in my life
― probably.tasteful.forever (imago), Sunday, 27 December 2015 13:14 (eight years ago) link
braying tories really are one of the worst things about the uk
they're louder than any other group people hatefully tar with the same brush
― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Sunday, 27 December 2015 13:24 (eight years ago) link
would you rather be in a train carriage full of harlequins fans or harlequin foetuses
― things that are jokes pretty much (nakhchivan), Sunday, 27 December 2015 15:39 (eight years ago) link
depends. the latter, if the train train was going from ireland to the uk.
― japanese mage (LocalGarda), Monday, 28 December 2015 00:45 (eight years ago) link
Too late to make the trip across the water for the latter
― The difficult earlier reichs (darraghmac), Monday, 28 December 2015 01:19 (eight years ago) link
someone on my 380 bus is beatboxing, drumming and singing some old-school r&b very loudly
it is the driver
10
― imago, Thursday, 16 November 2017 16:57 (six years ago) link
by the time I got off he had moved on to some particularly melodious whistling
― imago, Thursday, 16 November 2017 17:02 (six years ago) link
Please stop scratching yourself down there
― fake pato is kind of racist, dude (darraghmac), Thursday, 23 November 2017 08:30 (six years ago) link
Couple of days ago, guy having a weird phone conversation:
"So, my sister died last week and no-one in my family told me, my brother said I should phone her but I didn't know how close she was to death. Anyway, how's you and the dog?"
― The buttermilk of Beelzebub (Tom D.), Thursday, 23 November 2017 10:35 (six years ago) link
... followed by a lot of jokey football chat.
― The buttermilk of Beelzebub (Tom D.), Thursday, 23 November 2017 10:36 (six years ago) link
People deal, yknow
― fake pato is kind of racist, dude (darraghmac), Thursday, 23 November 2017 10:53 (six years ago) link
I know, but you had to be there to realize quite how weird it was, though I'm so old fashioned I would never have a personal conversation of any kind on public transport.
― The buttermilk of Beelzebub (Tom D.), Thursday, 23 November 2017 11:08 (six years ago) link
oh god no, i can barely even bring myself to talk to my wife when we’re together in a quiet waiting room or whatever
― It happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes. (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 23 November 2017 11:46 (six years ago) link
I recently heard someone at the back of the bus loudly explaining the dynamic of how people who are not "grassers" get falsely accused of being "grassers". And it went something like(with lots of fucks + fuckings): "When people can't afford a bottle of cider and are bored at home, they just go on facebook and make up fucking rumours about people, I'm fucking telling you pal!". When I saw him getting off he was a severe looking brute and I totally avoided any eye contact, lest I become a "grasser" suspect.
― calzino, Thursday, 23 November 2017 12:06 (six years ago) link
i just can't deal with taking calls on public transport. sadly a lot of people i know absolutely do not get this. 'Can't speak now, I'm on the train' / 'So? What's the matter with that?'... Just makes me feel like the Dom Joly sketch with the massive phone
― Fox Mulder, FYI (dog latin), Thursday, 23 November 2017 12:13 (six years ago) link
Bell-end who stood right up against me on a half-empty tram: minus several billion for being a dick
― You are wrong (Autumn Almanac), Tuesday, 23 September 2008 13:44 (nine years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
inexplicably i still remember this
― rove mcmanus island (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 23 November 2017 15:07 (six years ago) link
Hugely intolerant of people who double-strap their backpacks and then don't take them off in packed carriages.
― Matt DC, Thursday, 23 November 2017 15:17 (six years ago) link
there are several types of people for whom public conversations, on the phone or in person, have a performative aspect - they want your attention
― who says no to mentals? (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 23 November 2017 15:26 (six years ago) link
my 11 year old daughter double straps her backpack on packed carriages bc otherwise she'll get crushed or will risk having her pack stolen---that's life on her daily commute (which she does by herself) on two of Europe's busiest metro lines.
― droit au butt (Euler), Thursday, 23 November 2017 15:50 (six years ago) link
I've found that driver again! He's on the 124 this time. Singing some sort of devotional prayer and drumming along. It certainly adds something
― imago, Sunday, 4 February 2018 14:20 (six years ago) link
twats who insist on standing at the front making getting on and off a hassle even tho there are at least half a dozen empty seats -infinity/10
― drugs don't kill people, poppers do (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 4 February 2018 19:23 (six years ago) link
sitting in the aisle seat with your bag on the window seat DIE DIE DIE
― drugs don't kill people, poppers do (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 4 February 2018 19:24 (six years ago) link
this is why i travel everywhere on my own private hovercraft
― i gotta be a gazpacho man (bizarro gazzara), Sunday, 4 February 2018 19:28 (six years ago) link
Sitting across from a stranger at the crowded local lunch spot. I assumed she would be on her phone or something so I wasn’t eating my fried chicken very elegantly—sort of wolfing it down. Looked up and saw she did not have a phone and was looking directly at me.
― treeship 2, Sunday, 4 February 2018 19:29 (six years ago) link
0/10 even though it’s my fault for eating like a barbarian