friend envy

not always the case though

The trick, therefore, is to think less about your friend and what they may have that you don't, but to work on building your own confidence and self esteem - and if these insecurities reveal something that you feel you should be doing more about, then work more towards that goal.

I know, easier said than done. I suffered from horrible friend envy when I was younger, always comparing myself negatively to others. But now I've got my life more in order, and made accomplishments of mine own, I've stopped comparing myself to others nearly as much.

(OK, except for romantic stuff - that I'm never going to stop feeling envy about.)

Perhaps the key is finding a way of being comfortable with yourself and being proud of your own achievements (however small they may be). Inner peace and happiness type thing.

OTM. i am totally better than all my friends and friends of my friends. except me, whom i'm only as good as.

not always the case though

you really think so? i don't

xpost kate you are pretty otm too. it's definitely about insecurity. i am just totally failing at not resenting her when it's really my problem.

"you will be good at things they're not and vice versa so ..."
not always the case though

you really think so? i don't

I do. Some people just have it made in every department. That's the way life sometimes is. I know some people who will say:"But I bet he's crap in bed (or whatever else they use as an excuse to make'em feel better)." and I just know that's just some silly excuse to make yourself better. It's a lie because some people just have it all. Live with it. Or rather, accept it and work at yourself by not comparing yourself to that (or other) person.

Rambling. As ever.

You just have to try and concentrate on doing your best, making your best case, and trying honestly, to let the "better (wo)man win".

And either way, whichever outcomes happens (and the very best thing would be for neither of you to get it, but a third party altogether, in which case you could both commiserate) don't let your *performance* negatively affect your view of your*self*.

Anyway, lots of "perfect people" are secretly miserable compulsive overperformers and perfectionists who are never actually happy with themselves, either.

these people always have one flaw - they're always shit at video games. SRSLY. Challenge them and see it firsthand.

Oh yes, that really erases everything else, now does it? ;-)

Happiness isn't a case of being perfect, it's a case of being content. (Not that I've cracked one either.)

Yeah. I used to think I was shit at everything, and all my friends did eveything better than me. I'm not athletic, I'm not a great musician, crap artist, and all my friends are good at these types of things. I really thought i wasn't good at anything, then I realised I wasn't including video games. I fucking pwn at games, and i pwn all my friends at 95% of the multiplayer games we play. I'll beat games before any of my friends, then go round their house and beat them too. I move on to competitive online gaming, and find i'm not only better than my friends - i'm better than a lot of people out there.

Why didn't I count video games when i was weighing up skills? Because i was trapped in thinking that they shouldn't count as skills. I realise that's bullshit now, obv. I'm REALLY fucking pleased I've found something I'm good at, and when people kinda disregard it as something not worthwhile, or something that's not a skill, I just tell myself that they must be jealous. Roffles!
You probably think i'm full of shit, but great precision, coordination and reaction times, combined together with strategic thinking, split second decisions and the ability to inspire teammates is just as skillful as kicking a football between some posts or playing a guitar solo.

you could be a Boy Scout leader!

That said, I can't even read my college bulletin anymore because of all of the young chippies headed off to Turkmenistan to study carpet weaving on a grant. But I get over it about 10 minutes later.

Please elaborate. You're destroying my dreams here, you could at least explain yourself.

I'm with teh kit. I'm fucking well proud of my gta achievements, because in reality it's all i have over most of my friends. oh and i think i'm better at cooking.

if only gta was multiplayer ;)

Arrogant, yeah, but still... I've got some damned cool friends.

(By "cool" I mean, well, good, constructive, interesting - rather than "trendy" or whatever.)

WORDS TO LIVE BY.

fuck off

no need for that.

This is so OTM!

ps multi theft auto kinda sux.

I know this probably makes me an asshole...I still get it though.

As a general rule I think these sort of thoughts are poisonous. It's better to think of career as your own thing, even if it can be hard.

Anna: Why are you so sad?
Kathy: I wish I could play the violin like you. You have more talents than me. That is why I am sad.
Anna: Kathy, you can play tennis better than I can. The dolphin can swim, and the seagull can fly.
Kathy: That makes me happy.

kate i totally know what you mean about admiring your friends and being glad they like you - that is how i felt about this friend up until the recent competitiveness! in general i think it is great to think so well of your friends.