Yesterday's EastEnders

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It's a bit naff to discuss TV shows on here I realise, but last night's Eastenders -- WHAT THE HOLY FUCK?

Alan Trewartha, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I don't watch it regularly, in fact it's dropped right off my priorities. Yesterday came in with shopping, switched on the teev while unpacking, to be confronted with what appeared to be a spin-off sit-com. Bonkers.

Alan Trewartha, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Fair Deal Fwank's faux tache and toupee reduced me to hysterics. But then I am easily pleased on a Monday night.

Emma, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

What was wrong with it. I liked Frank's moustache. Rula Lenksa says she would love a permanent role in the soap and Dennis Waterman's daughter being in it 'is no barrier'.

Quiz: which ILE-er once stood up Dennis Waterman's daughter on a date?

N., Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

What was wrong with it? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH IT?! it's difficult to know where to start. i was laughing too hard, and aghast at the audacity of what they were doing. it was like another tv show altogether. acting, scripting, pacing, style, all thrown out for... for... i don't know what. Even the other abroad specials that they've had seemed like part of the eastenders story. This just made me realise how coherent a world the square is (usually) presented as.

Alan Trewartha, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

What happened?? I was watching four and a half hours of Buffy and missed it! What happened??? Tell me!!!

Sarah, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

It was a bit like a whole separate soap being spun off from Stenders in the style of Knots Landing but this is surely A GOOD THING? I liked the way they were setting up all the daft intrigues & stuff e.g. the timeshare sales rep trying to cop off with the much younger son of Rula Lenska. Plus I used to live in that neck of the woods so was whisked into nostalgia land from the comfort of my sofa.

Emma, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

And Sarah there is no point telling you what happened as you are out tonight too, watch the onmibus like everyone else. In a nutshell, Frank faked his own death as part of a dodgy timeshare scam and is now attempting to scam a golf club with Rula Lenska (who he is shagging). Peggy is trying to track down New Sam with the help of a charming gent she encountered by chance who happens to be the Chairman of the golf club Frank is trying to scam. With hilarious consequences.....

Emma, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Oh dear.

DG, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I never watch this, but I was gripped by the last 10 minutes last night - mostly due to the presence of 1970s Voice Over Man as the ex- CID golf-club supremo who helps Babs Windsor out. What is his name? BBC's Eastenders site less than useless wrt this.

Michael Jones, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Michael Jayston (Radio Times still best for cast lists, even in internet edition)

N., Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Michael Jayston -- another in a long line of Doctor Who/Eastenders cross-overs. He played a sort of avatar of the Doctor from the future called The Valeyard. (Allegedly the Doctor when he'd run out of regenerations).

scuse me.

Alan Trewartha, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I watched it on a Pocket TV and thus missed hilarious tache action. I feel robbed.

Graham, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Graham, you must be the only person in Britain who watches things on a Pocket TV. Also, why have you got so many gadgets. Are you moneyed?

N., Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Not any more.

Graham, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

(I was in the kitchen cooking dinner. It's not like I wander the streets watching TV, that would be sad)

Graham, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

Is the answer Mark C?

Ally C, Tuesday, 29 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I am not a regular either because of various reasons, i.e. my lack of living room and TV anymore, but alas, destiny always throws in my path these gems of chapters in which the cockneys decide to be naughty and go to the playground of the naughty cockney par excellence, that is, SPAIN.

It is satisfactory that my home land is the only landscape that serves as background as the little happy-go-lucky moments in 'EastEnders', though...Another San Miguel, please!

Arantxa, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

My only knowledge of "Eastenders" is thru that Osymyso track "Pat n' Peg"



We're lookin' for ROY!

Brian MacDonald, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

I got an e-mail yesterday from my friend who works a mile away from me in Ancoats, to say that the Beeb were filming another special there - the RETURN OF BYANKAH AND RICKEEE!

misterjones, Wednesday, 30 January 2002 01:00 (nineteen years ago) link

two years pass...

This programme has really taken a turn for the better! I am impressed. Okay so little mo is still a wet whimpering sap, and Chrissie still acts and looks like a pantomime dame, but Wow - the Moon brothers? Give me a piece of that - quick!

Buck naked in the bushes, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 13:52 (sixteen years ago) link

"But he's me son!"

Actually, Patrick, didn't we find out a while ago that he's technically not your son? Hmm?

accentmonkey (accentmonkey), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 14:57 (sixteen years ago) link

i cannot wait for andy to be brought down!

also, ian and jane + sexual congress = vomit.

lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 14:58 (sixteen years ago) link

ian and ANYONE + sexual congress = vomit!

Rachel Verinder, Wednesday, 26 January 2005 15:14 (sixteen years ago) link

Ian captivates ladies with his enormous throbbing business acumen

Stevem On X (blueski), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 15:16 (sixteen years ago) link

And pictures of his impressive moustache

RickyT (RickyT), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 15:18 (sixteen years ago) link

omg i had to switch channels on that scene last night with ian and jane. ew.

i demand an appearance by bricktop & co to 'sort out' Andy.

Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 15:22 (sixteen years ago) link

i think they were "doing it" on the floor. BARF!

lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 16:53 (sixteen years ago) link

I'm glad I was in the pub now.

I like the new Ronnie Kray 'loves his mother, only kills his own' type East End gangster. Have we found out what the connection between him and Pat is yet?

Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 17:19 (sixteen years ago) link

johnny allen. he's so dignified.

lauren (laurenp), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 17:20 (sixteen years ago) link

Yeah, I'm watching it regularly for the first time in a year now. The Moon Brothers, Alfie and Little Mo, Billy's little rant at the end of last night's show, and with any luck Patrick's going to kill Andy Hunter. Yay!

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 26 January 2005 18:07 (sixteen years ago) link

Yeah, Ian and Jane 'spooning' - delightful.
Can't wait for tonights, can't believe Eastenders is now the highlight of my life. About time Andy went down.
Are the Ferraras actually out of it now? Under what circumstances did they leave? And where the hell are Martin and Sonia? They came back from america and were in the pub for all of ten minutes then vanished into thin air....

One day all things will come sliced, Thursday, 27 January 2005 10:24 (sixteen years ago) link

has Dennis knocked up everything that walks in the Square yet?

Stevem On X (blueski), Thursday, 27 January 2005 10:37 (sixteen years ago) link

no his dad seems to be doing that instead

Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 27 January 2005 10:44 (sixteen years ago) link

Everything except Zoe. (x-p)

Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 27 January 2005 10:45 (sixteen years ago) link

i must say i've noticed hardly any incestuous shenanigans since moving to East London.

Stevem On X (blueski), Thursday, 27 January 2005 11:56 (sixteen years ago) link

Haven't you been to a FAP recently?

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:17 (sixteen years ago) link

You people need to stop bringing your sisters to FAPs! Jeez!

The Phantom of the Operating System (kate), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:26 (sixteen years ago) link

i couldn't help reading next week's spoilers in one of the trashy women's mags. guess what? apparently an angry mob led by sam (and patrick, i'd assume) goes after andy. i can't wait!

lauren (laurenp), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:30 (sixteen years ago) link

Are there any gays in Eastenders at the moment? I like a good gay character.

My Aunt Eileen On X (blueski), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:31 (sixteen years ago) link

There's Derek, but he is not under any circumstances a good gay character. Or even a good character.

So Paul Trueman is properly dead then? I was hoping they were going to keep it open, in a Dirty Den kind of way.

Eastenders has got so much better since they dropped the absurd pretence that Leslie Grantham is supposedly attractive to women and made him into the durty old man everyone really thinks he is. Did you hear Den say "its so vulgar having your photo in the paper" the other week?

Also there's a Den whodunnit coming up, apparently. Soap whodunnits are always great in a preposterous kind of way.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:34 (sixteen years ago) link

was the return of Den covered by the media in Eastenders world as well then? as in ''River murder' Landlord alive after all shockah' tabloid headlines?

Stevem On X (blueski), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:39 (sixteen years ago) link

This has reminded me to actually script that Eastenders zombie special, when Albert Square's dead come back to eat the living. Mostly because I just like the idea of Zombie Trevor lurching across the market going "Mooooooaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh".

Matt DC (Matt DC), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:44 (sixteen years ago) link

haha yes and include Rolly the dog in the zombie hord.

Ste (Fuzzy), Thursday, 27 January 2005 13:48 (sixteen years ago) link


will anyone tell the difference?

Stevem On X (blueski), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:00 (sixteen years ago) link

Den's going to get buried under the Vic, isn't he?

Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 27 January 2005 15:14 (sixteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...
Well well well, wasn't fridays episode EXCITING? What a SUPER twist, eh, what?

I was terribly disappointed at Andy Hunters death, I was expecting him to be torn apart by Alfie or Patrick, but hey ho, can't have all the square murderers.

Gosh, I'm sad.

Rumpington Lane, Monday, 21 February 2005 14:51 (sixteen years ago) link

Best bit of Friday's episode = Ian Beale playing air guitar.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 21 February 2005 14:55 (sixteen years ago) link

Worst bit = naked Martin Fowler. Ewww.

Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 21 February 2005 14:55 (sixteen years ago) link

Andy's death was pathetic, such a rub way to go for someone supposedly so dangerous.

how did Den fake his dead pulse?

Ste (Fuzzy), Monday, 21 February 2005 16:06 (sixteen years ago) link

It's like he's scuffing out some kind of code!
Although I don't know if new-style hoodie lurker Max wears the same hard-soled shoes.

trishyb, Saturday, 30 December 2017 22:14 (three years ago) link

They've been showing him with his shirt off a lot lately, presumably to add at least a shred of credibility to the world's least convincing screen lothario.

Matt DC, Sunday, 31 December 2017 11:33 (three years ago) link

I know, its been great!

boxedjoy, Sunday, 31 December 2017 18:09 (three years ago) link

Chuck_Tatum, Sunday, 31 December 2017 18:33 (three years ago) link

giving us baldies hope yet !

( saw last 5 mins of the xmas day episode, and realised why i stopped watching after bh died ... )

mark e, Sunday, 31 December 2017 19:20 (three years ago) link

this was, perhaps, the stupidest thing i've ever watched.

Heavy Messages (jed_), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:04 (three years ago) link

tell me about it, and it went on so long. couldn't tell if they were going for comedy or misery half the time.

you shoulda killfiled me last year (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:04 (three years ago) link

Can’t believe this is the new universities regulator.

— Dion Georgiou (@DrDionGeorgiou) January 1, 2018

calzino, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:07 (three years ago) link


you shoulda killfiled me last year (Noodle Vague), Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:13 (three years ago) link

I particularly enjoyed how they wrapped up the Jay's Dad storyline with about thirty seconds of dialogue, which happened while Jay was spending New Year's Day chilling by an iron railing

boxedjoy, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 17:40 (three years ago) link

Well, it's not like he can sit on the tyre swings like every other adult in the square.

trishyb, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:06 (three years ago) link

They had a change of showrunner not so long ago which resulted in a load of stories being very rapidly tied up which makes sense because most of them were terrible, especially the "oh yeah that guy wasn't your dad at all" one.

Matt DC, Tuesday, 2 January 2018 18:35 (three years ago) link

Yesterday's EastEnders was completely insane - jumped ahead two days about twenty minutes in, Masood's aunt cured Danny Dyer's bullet wound with a bowl of soup, and the bloke who shot him appears to have just moved in and become another terrible comedy character. And Masood's aunt seems to have mellowed quickly to the area she was so dead set against via the medium of Linda's terrible brand of down-to-earthishness and, er, getting involved in covering up a shooting.

The Abi storyline seems like it's just been inserted into the rest of it whenever they remember about it. No-one outside of Max or Jack seem to really care that Abi's baby has been delivered and that the two Branning sisters are still in hospital.

ailsa, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 12:29 (three years ago) link

Yeah, it's absolute rubbish. Hour-long episodes are a disaster, too. They need to get back to some proper Eastendersing.

trishyb, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 14:25 (three years ago) link

I also loved the fact that Sonya said "Uncle Max" about fifteen times in her one scene at Ian's house, as if the writers have just remembered that they are related. And these Irish gangsters; I don't know. Unless they're a roundabout way of dragging Janine back in, I'm not interested. But my suspicion is that they're going to drag Alfie or Kat or both in with them.

trishyb, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 14:28 (three years ago) link

This stuff is cobblers but actually preferable to the hamfisted boardroom shenanigans of the last year or so.

Matt DC, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 14:32 (three years ago) link

Ha, I noticed the "uncle Max" thing as well. I think the Irish gangsters might be to drag Melanie back in - I think I read somewhere that Tamzin Outhwaite was coming back, so probably as another gangster. Because Stenders needs more gangsters.

ailsa, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 15:57 (three years ago) link

I've only ever given up watching Eastenders once before. Something about Ian pretending to be gay or married to someone he wasn't married to, or some other farcical thing that he was doing to get well in with the local chamber of commerce. I'm very close to giving up again.

trishyb, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 16:52 (three years ago) link

Cupla focal ar Eastenders! All is forgiven.

trishyb, Wednesday, 3 January 2018 20:25 (three years ago) link

this programme, fuck sake. just wow.

Heavy Messages (jed_), Sunday, 14 January 2018 01:24 (three years ago) link

Friday was like watching a show where rhe main cast were all on holiday.

boxedjoy, Sunday, 14 January 2018 13:34 (three years ago) link

the whole thing of Karen and Masood having a clean-off and her saying mr popaloo, mr dopapom, mr popadoodle.... i mean WHAT

Heavy Messages (jed_), Sunday, 14 January 2018 14:04 (three years ago) link

Don't like the Taylors anyway, but Karen's racism idiocy (and Mr Papadopoulos letting it slide and still considering her for a job) is just awful.

ailsa, Sunday, 14 January 2018 14:21 (three years ago) link

At this stage we've all been watching soaps long enough to know the drill: mouthy, noisy family moves into the square/onto the street, shakes things up for a while, gets accused of all sorts, turns out to be solid gold, and eventually gets sucked into the same routine as everyone else. Battersbys, Slaters, Taylors, they're all the same.

The stuff with the launderette was ridiculous. Masood's ice cream van thing was ridiculous. Mel's hat not being blown off her head on the ferry was particularly ridiculous. Maybe they should go back to two half hours a week.

trishyb, Sunday, 14 January 2018 21:05 (three years ago) link

I'm sure it's less than a year since we had someone take a briefcase to a fake white collar job.

Chunky Backgammon (onimo), Wednesday, 17 January 2018 10:30 (three years ago) link

This Tiffany storyline is awful as well, like why wouldn't Whitney just pick up the phone to Bianca at any point rather than swallow every single thing that comes out of Tiffany's mouth?

ailsa, Wednesday, 17 January 2018 16:18 (three years ago) link

five months pass...

Shakil's funeral episode was really powerful. I've never seen anything like that done on a soap.

Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Tuesday, 10 July 2018 23:10 (three years ago) link

Not having watched Eastenders regularly for a while, I caught a few bits of it recently. I'm kind of disappointed that they've retconned Tina so that her inability to take anything seriously, including motherhood, right up into her forties is the result of a trauma. I've never liked that character, but I always admired the writers for having someone who was just plain old useless.

trishyb, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 19:00 (three years ago) link

it's really bad just now but apparently Kate Oates, the exec producer who just left Corrie and turned Emmerdale around a few years ago, is being considered for the job

boxedjoy, Tuesday, 24 July 2018 19:04 (three years ago) link

it's truuuuuly awful. it's not just the writing and storylines though, it's the directing as well, like why are people talking like that? like they're in a comedy sketch from the 1970s?

Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Tuesday, 24 July 2018 19:29 (three years ago) link

Corrie has been dreadful under Kate Oates. Good luck Stenders :-(

ailsa, Wednesday, 25 July 2018 11:51 (three years ago) link

I think its been a lot better than it was under the last guy. Phelan took too long to finish off but David's attack and Aidan's death were brilliant.

boxedjoy, Wednesday, 25 July 2018 17:33 (three years ago) link

Yeah, but both brushed over far too quickly in favour of more Connor factory shite and more Bethany shite (and particularly affecting because David, Shona, Aidan and Eva were up to the acting, unlike most of the rest of the cast). The repercussions have been minimal (see also Phelan where Anna was sent on her way after killing him, Nicola and Michelle were shot with no lasting effect, and no-one seems to even really remember he was there). Oates' thing seems to be rushed issue-led storylines and a complete disregard for longer-term continuity.

ailsa, Wednesday, 25 July 2018 17:49 (three years ago) link

Shall we head over to the Corrie thread to discuss the upcoming McDonald debacle?

ailsa, Wednesday, 25 July 2018 17:50 (three years ago) link

that upcoming McDonald debacle really needs to not be discussed, or happening

boxedjoy, Wednesday, 25 July 2018 19:50 (three years ago) link

Yep. It's going to be the thing that finally stops me watching, I think.

ailsa, Wednesday, 25 July 2018 21:09 (three years ago) link

I don't know what you are referring to and google gives a lot of conflicting information so please do take it to corrie rolling.

I can't get over some of the acting in Eastenders and suppose I've always felt this way. It's either so pantomimey or so gruff and dull and one-note. A lot of Emmerdale actors are poor but most of the bad ones at least have a modicum of charm. Corrie's cast still has charm in abundance even when it's bad. Who are the charming or charismatic performers in Eastenders? As grindingly depressing as Ee can be it's the tin ear with comedy that truly lets them down. That heist episode with Mick in novelty slippers truly beggared belief.

Britain's Sexiest Cow (jed_), Wednesday, 25 July 2018 23:31 (three years ago) link

three months pass...

This show is really grim. I've gone through periods of watching it recently because I've been looking after my quite ill mother and she has it on but she stopped watching it on the reg because it was getting her down. I saw tonight's though and, omg, mum otm.

brokenshire (jed_), Thursday, 1 November 2018 23:01 (two years ago) link

The Sharon-Keanu affair storyline complete with extended shirtless scenes seems dreamed up by a lab to be as camp as possible on paper and yet utterly useless on screen

boxedjoy, Friday, 2 November 2018 11:46 (two years ago) link

two months pass...

How many people live in Martin and Stacey's house?

brokenshire (jed_), Friday, 4 January 2019 20:13 (two years ago) link


brokenshire (jed_), Friday, 4 January 2019 20:16 (two years ago) link

not only that but a lot of them are small children - a total nightmare

I was also agog at the new Slater family tradition which seems to be recreating the dance routine from Mean Girls?!

boxedjoy, Friday, 4 January 2019 22:12 (two years ago) link

The general consensus is between 15 and 17 people, so let's do some maths and see if that is correct: there's Stacey and her three children (four) Jean, Kat and Mo (seven), Whitney and Tiffany (nine), Martin (10), Hayley and her newborn (12) and now Alfie and the kids (16).

I forgot about Tiffany.

brokenshire (jed_), Friday, 4 January 2019 23:00 (two years ago) link

three months pass...

Ben Mitchell as a camp arch-villain in the style of Brendan from Hollyoaks - completely at odds with a lot of the character's history but watching it play out on screen has been hilarious

boxedjoy, Wednesday, 17 April 2019 20:14 (two years ago) link

I stopped watching and have only just learnt I missed a '30 years on' appearance from Lofty and Mary the Punk.

Luna Schlosser, Thursday, 18 April 2019 18:23 (two years ago) link

Which was utterly pointless as anyone they would have recognised was on panto leave

boxedjoy, Thursday, 18 April 2019 20:33 (two years ago) link

four months pass...

Eastenders is really good just now

boxedjoy, Monday, 2 September 2019 19:51 (two years ago) link

two years pass...

What an episode tonight… Serious fire, heroics, a birth, comedy. The ratings fight back is clearly on.

Luna Schlosser, Monday, 13 September 2021 20:26 (five days ago) link


boxedjoy, Monday, 13 September 2021 20:57 (five days ago) link

Well the Jack scenes were in the time-honoured line of EastEnders’ tin eared feel for comedy, but I did like Jean’s expression at the end.

Luna Schlosser, Monday, 13 September 2021 21:09 (five days ago) link

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