More than repulsed by the Donnie Darko love a lot of my homies professed in 2001, I studiously avoided him. He was ok in Lovely & Amazing (the last time he'd be sexy again until Brokeback), forgettable in The Good Girl, and tried very hard in The Day After Tomorrow. Never saw Jarhead
Nothing in those pictures suggested that he was anything more than a Tobey Maguire manque (and, to rewrite Oscar Wilde, so is Tobey Maguire) with some erotic frisson; but he's a revelation in Brokeback, a statement for which I've gotten a lot of ridicule over the holidays. Ledger is fantastic, but if his lover can't project thwarted homosexual lust than the movie's a failure. His performance is impressively physical; he finally learns how to use those killer blue eyes in character. When called upon to demonstrate Great Oscar-Worthy Thespian Chops in his stentorian kiss-off to Ledger, he more than holds his own.
Still, I probably remember his performance more for the audience gratification: we've wanted to see Jake in a movie worthy of his looks, and he plays to every seat in the house. My Favorite Brokeback Moment: how his Jack Twist, during the reunion scene, pulls away from Ennis as he's being mauled with kisses, looking at his old lover with a mixture of shock, relief ("Is this really happening?" he seems to be thinking), and euphoria.
― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:37 (eighteen years ago) link
(Oh wait, he's queer, AND a bottom...)
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:44 (eighteen years ago) link
― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:48 (eighteen years ago) link
― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:51 (eighteen years ago) link
Big beautiful eyes aside, how so?
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 20:52 (eighteen years ago) link
― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:18 (eighteen years ago) link
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:21 (eighteen years ago) link
― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:22 (eighteen years ago) link
― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:25 (eighteen years ago) link
― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:46 (eighteen years ago) link
― Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 21:48 (eighteen years ago) link
― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:02 (eighteen years ago) link
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:05 (eighteen years ago) link
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:07 (eighteen years ago) link
― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Tuesday, 3 January 2006 22:23 (eighteen years ago) link
― emilys. (emilys.), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 05:03 (eighteen years ago) link
-- Lars and Jagger (nicole.kessle...), January 3rd, 2006 3:48 PM. (Ex Leon)
rofl
― HAKKEBOFFER (eman), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 05:40 (eighteen years ago) link
― tokyo nursery school: afternoon session (rosemary), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 13:48 (eighteen years ago) link
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 14:16 (eighteen years ago) link
― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 14:18 (eighteen years ago) link
http://actors.pick2web.com/pics/1222725/jakegyllenhaal.jpg
― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:07 (eighteen years ago) link
― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:11 (eighteen years ago) link
― Sick Mouthy (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:17 (eighteen years ago) link
― jed_ (jed), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:19 (eighteen years ago) link
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:35 (eighteen years ago) link
― ShawShank Rambo Connection (Carey), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:43 (eighteen years ago) link
― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:45 (eighteen years ago) link
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:46 (eighteen years ago) link
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:52 (eighteen years ago) link
― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:54 (eighteen years ago) link
but i also imagine him strong, and quiet absorbing me in his arms, as i weep about the state of the world.
he is the only man i imagine topping me...i saw him once in TO last year, and he was as handsome, old fashioned in his taciturn tendencies, i didnt know how to say TAKE ME NOW, so i didnt
― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:58 (eighteen years ago) link
Anthony, you might have to fight me for'em.
― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 15:59 (eighteen years ago) link
There are always threesomes, triads, circle jerks, orgies, and any number of other higher mathametics
― anthony easton (anthony), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:00 (eighteen years ago) link
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:02 (eighteen years ago) link
― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:03 (eighteen years ago) link
this makes up for all the mimsy indie-boy threads about his sister in the world, ally.
― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:04 (eighteen years ago) link
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:05 (eighteen years ago) link
― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:06 (eighteen years ago) link
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:07 (eighteen years ago) link
― cancer prone fat guy (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:08 (eighteen years ago) link
xpost ...
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:09 (eighteen years ago) link
― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:10 (eighteen years ago) link
― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:12 (eighteen years ago) link
― Allyzay must fight Zolton herself. (allyzay), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:13 (eighteen years ago) link
― Lars and Jagger (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:14 (eighteen years ago) link
― Alfred, Lord Sotosyn (Alfred Soto), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:15 (eighteen years ago) link
― Je4nn3 ΖurΒ₯ (Je4nne Fury), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:18 (eighteen years ago) link
― elmo, patron saint of nausea (allocryptic), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:19 (eighteen years ago) link
He'd still have to explain the "These characters are not, like, gay" interview, and I might hafta slap him. Repeatedly.
― Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 4 January 2006 16:21 (eighteen years ago) link
lol
― Acting Crazy (Instrumental) (jed_), Tuesday, 15 January 2019 20:41 (five years ago) link
Does he give anyone else crispin glover vibes these days? Felt it for sure in wildlife
― Pierrot with a thousand farces (wins), Tuesday, 15 January 2019 20:42 (five years ago) link
he plays a fastidious oddball english detective in a so so western i watched last night, and yeah I can see a bit of that comparison.
― calzino, Tuesday, 15 January 2019 20:59 (five years ago) link
Is that Sisters Brothers or is he in another western I don't know about?
Velvet Buzzsaw looks like it could be anywhere from great fun to total garbage but there is some A+ Gyllenhaal freaking the fuck out in the trailer
― You guys are caterpillar (Telephone thing), Tuesday, 15 January 2019 22:59 (five years ago) link
Also his character in Okja.
― Yerac, Tuesday, 15 January 2019 23:00 (five years ago) link
xp
yeah that's the one.
― calzino, Tuesday, 15 January 2019 23:01 (five years ago) link
oh also: that Velvet Buzzsaw trailer seems like it spoils *EVERYTHING*. Like, major characters' deaths, at the very least
― You guys are caterpillar (Telephone thing), Tuesday, 15 January 2019 23:05 (five years ago) link
'SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME' Star TOM HOLLAND Couldn't Walk After JAKE GYLLENHAAL Workout! https://t.co/JW4ufH6Zw8 pic.twitter.com/JBC8G50lpD— ComicBook NOW! (@ComicBookNOW) June 25, 2019
― π ππ’π¨ (caek), Wednesday, 26 June 2019 02:37 (five years ago) link
I need a Jake workout :(
― recriminations from the nitpicking woke (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 26 June 2019 02:45 (five years ago) link
I can't
https://networthbuzz.com/uploads/biography/2019/7/11/fp-1562813345903.jpg
― TikTok to the (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 15 November 2019 19:05 (four years ago) link
fuck sake.
― Heavy Messages (jed_), Friday, 15 November 2019 22:54 (four years ago) link
i would c with his d in me amirite fellas?
― cheese canopy (map), Friday, 15 November 2019 23:00 (four years ago) link
i'm pretty sure i saw him once in a chinatown bar in 2008
― cheese canopy (map), Friday, 15 November 2019 23:03 (four years ago) link
my answer to this thread question is that he is both c (classic) and d (dreamy)
― cheese canopy (map), Friday, 15 November 2019 23:05 (four years ago) link
He's extremely good in The Sisters Brothers (the film is decent) and seeing Jake and Riz Ahmed onscreen at the same time had a significant effect on me.
― Cocteau Twinks (jed_), Friday, 9 April 2021 17:58 (three years ago) link
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EsQIQOiW8AIAptO.jpg
― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Thursday, 22 July 2021 14:21 (three years ago) link
JAKE CAN I JAB YOU TWICE
Jake Gyllenhaal: "More and more I find bathing to be less necessary, at times...I do also think that thereβs a whole world of not bathing that is also really helpful for skin maintenance, and we naturally clean ourselves." https://t.co/9zrNFIooey pic.twitter.com/6DxY27DJPw— Kaiser@Celebitchy (@KaiseratCB) August 6, 2021
― π ππ’π¨ (caek), Friday, 6 August 2021 14:28 (three years ago) link
I can bathe him.
― So who you gonna call? The martini police (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 6 August 2021 14:34 (three years ago) link
lol you don't get called a scruffy bastard when you're a sex-hunk. It reminds me of when the o.g. Ronaldo swapped shirts with Beckham and joked: his sweat smells like cologne!
― calzino, Friday, 6 August 2021 14:38 (three years ago) link
I could have sworn this is like the third story I've seen this week about celebrities not bathing.
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 6 August 2021 15:09 (three years ago) link
same.
― Heavy Messages (jed_), Friday, 6 August 2021 15:11 (three years ago) link
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/aug/05/i-dont-smell-meet-the-people-who-have-stopped-washing
― calzino, Friday, 6 August 2021 15:21 (three years ago) link
please make it stop. everytime a rich person doesn't bathe i'm the one who has to shower in their place and i'm so so tired pic.twitter.com/saITex2SGZ— ben wasserman (@benwassertweet) August 6, 2021
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 6 August 2021 21:53 (three years ago) link
I drifted off for maybe 10 minutes, but the rest of the way I found The Guilty excruciating. Almost bailed.
― clemenza, Sunday, 26 September 2021 20:50 (two years ago) link
Having trouble getting my head around the fact Morbs both saw and enjoyed Bubble Boy.
― Precious, Grace, Hill & Beard LTD. (C. Grisso/McCain), Sunday, 26 September 2021 21:29 (two years ago) link
I liked the Danish Guilty but the concept definitely wears thin by the end. And the remake is 5 minutes longer, apparently
― Vinnie, Monday, 27 September 2021 02:27 (two years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/c5SY51q.jpg
― Malevolent Arugula (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 10 January 2023 17:52 (one year ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/hlMQbZt.jpg
― the dreaded dependent claus (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Monday, 28 August 2023 23:51 (one year ago) link
Agreed
― H.P, Tuesday, 29 August 2023 10:50 (one year ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/5mRz3jQ.png
― stuffing your suit pockets with cold, stale chicken tende (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 00:14 (nine months ago) link
Nice mug
― omar little, Tuesday, 28 November 2023 00:43 (nine months ago) link
when will he give us a live action guy smiley
― close encounters of the third knid (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 01:02 (nine months ago) link
Jake, I can take or leave.
Maggie, on the other hand . . . I can't.
― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 14:10 (nine months ago) link
I remembered Jakey is younger than me, but I didn't remember it's only by a year and a half. Life is not fair
― active spectator of ecocide and dispossession (Eric H.), Tuesday, 28 November 2023 14:32 (nine months ago) link
Happy birthday!
https://www.instagram.com/p/C1FmKfTOvwI/
― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 20 December 2023 22:03 (eight months ago) link
https://i.ibb.co/S3mthSy/IMG-2540.jpg
― badpee pooper (Eric H.), Wednesday, 24 January 2024 21:26 (seven months ago) link
Papi.
― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 24 January 2024 21:35 (seven months ago) link
So.
― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 12:01 (five months ago) link
Watched Road House last night. JG is very good in it, but calling the movie tonally inconsistent would be very generous. And Conor McGregor looks like a CGI/motion capture gimmick.
― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Friday, 22 March 2024 12:39 (five months ago) link
how does it compare to the original?
― the absence of bikes (f. hazel), Friday, 22 March 2024 14:47 (five months ago) link
you could never replicate the brilliance of that part were Dalton jumps over the front porch of his house with that amazing ballet move. that whole original movie is just gold every minute until the credits roll.
― scott seward, Friday, 22 March 2024 14:53 (five months ago) link
I have a lot of thoughts, but basically this is an attempt to make a PG-13 Road House that the whole family can enjoy. The first one was about people who liked fucking, and punching each other. This one is about people who have never fucked, and only punch each other because they're forced into it. But hey, there's a precocious teen girl who says vaguely joke-like things to the protagonist.
― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Friday, 22 March 2024 14:56 (five months ago) link
That sounds absolutely fucking awful
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2024 15:08 (five months ago) link
The trouble is, there's already a good variant on Roadhouse in theaters called Love Lies Bleeding.
― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 15:12 (five months ago) link
Rather!
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 22 March 2024 15:13 (five months ago) link
i think one key problem i have w/the idea of this film is Patrick Swayze was such an absolutely likable screen presence and JG is increasingly less so, and i feel like Roadhouse requires some kind of likable toughness, a kind of noble tough humility that PS was so good at.
― omar little, Friday, 22 March 2024 16:20 (five months ago) link
speak for yourself!
― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 16:24 (five months ago) link
Yeah, Swayze was likable; Gyllenhaal is amiable. Two very different things.
Here's the difference between the two movies in a nutshell: in the original, Swayze wakes up and is doing naked tai chi and the female bartender from the roadhouse brings him breakfast and we see her blatantly ogling his naked ass. In this version, Gyllenhaal is awakened on the boat where he's living by the female bartender from the roadhouse; he's wearing boxer briefs and says, embarrassed, that he'll get dressed; she says, "Don't worry; I have brothers."
― Tahuti Watches L&O:SVU Reruns Without His Ape (unperson), Friday, 22 March 2024 16:27 (five months ago) link
I envy those boxer briefs.
― poppers fueled buttsex crescendo (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Friday, 22 March 2024 16:37 (five months ago) link