I HAVE HAD ALL THE MOUNTAIN DEWS

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I have experienced SIX different varieties of Mountain Dew, as of five minutes ago. I will now share with you my knowledge. Comments within parentheses are formatted as follows: ([color of liquid], [principle flavor], [comments])

  • MD (yellow, "...," the original)
  • MD Code Red (red, "..."
  • MD LiveWire (orange, "orange")
  • MD Pitch Black (black, "grape")
  • MD Baja Blast (turquoise, "lime" + "...," exclusively available at Taco Bell)
  • MD Pitch Black II (black, "grape," sour version of Pitch Black)

    Code Red and Baja Blast are fairly refreshing. The rest of the list I'm not likely to ever seek out again. Mountain Dew has a weird enough cult following that they can perform these kind of social experiments and get away with it; I can't help thinking though that most folks aren't getting "bored" of the original flavor, however, so each time they come out with something new, they're just space-shifting sales from one section of the gas station cooler to another, and most of those sales are returned to classic Yellow by the end of the month.

    All of them are sweeter than Lucozade itself. Mountain Dew is a bit like american-bottled Coca Cola - you could swear you can actually FEEL the corn syrup. The Pitch Black and LiveWire flavors are the worst offenders, for both excessive sweetness and poor balancing of acidity.

    TOMBOT, Friday, 9 September 2005 18:21 (seventeen years ago) link

  • The thread title makes it read like you've claimed their virginities.

    Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (Eastern Mantr, Friday, 9 September 2005 18:27 (seventeen years ago) link

    You do realize you killed that thread, right?

    TOMBOT, Friday, 9 September 2005 18:36 (seventeen years ago) link

    Where did you come upon the six varieties of Mountain Dew?

    Confounded (Confounded), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:38 (seventeen years ago) link

    this is my favorite type of ILE thread

    petesmith (plsmith), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:39 (seventeen years ago) link

    What is the goddamn matter with you!

    Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:39 (seventeen years ago) link

    I thought this was going to be about how you were totally wired and climbing the walls because you had HAD ALL THE MOUNTAIN DEWS in the house, ALL THE MOUNTAIN DEWS you could possibly have, but in your crazed state you desired even ONE MORE MOUNTAIN DEW!

    k/l (Ken L), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:40 (seventeen years ago) link

    You seemed to have skipped Diet Mountain Dew and Caffiene Free Diet Mountain Dew.

    svend (svend), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:42 (seventeen years ago) link

    The World of Mountain Dew

    Confounded (Confounded), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:43 (seventeen years ago) link

    THe thing is I can never tell, by what he's saying, if he means he just had SIX MOUNTAIN DEWS, 5 minutes ago, or as of 5 minutes ago, he finally achieved the accomplishment of tasting the 6th.

    Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:45 (seventeen years ago) link

    go brush your teeth. yech.

    cutty (mcutt), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:45 (seventeen years ago) link

    one of my bosses at work drinks diet code red

    petesmith (plsmith), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:46 (seventeen years ago) link

    Tom I salute your achievement, FUCK THE HATERS.

    n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:47 (seventeen years ago) link

    YOU ALL NEED TO QUIT DRINKING HATORADE AND START DRINKING ALL THE MOUNTAIN DEWS, THEN YOU'LL HAVE SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT

    n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:47 (seventeen years ago) link

    Yeah, where's the diet? That's what I get at 7-11 at 2am when I've been really drunk - seems like a good idea.

    Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:48 (seventeen years ago) link

    Maybe it's time to move on to Green River?

    k/l (Ken L), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:49 (seventeen years ago) link

    TS: GATORADE VS. VITAMIN WATER

    cutty (mcutt), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:49 (seventeen years ago) link

    I HAVE HAD ALL THE VITAMIN WADDERS

    cutty (mcutt), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:50 (seventeen years ago) link

    Tom drinks all the gatorade too. Tom has never heard of water.

    Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:51 (seventeen years ago) link

    OMG I just bought a 2-liter of Pitch Black II. I am not encouraged by this negative report (although I did like the original Pitch Black).

    So far Baja Blast pwns all. Code Red is for sucks.

    The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:51 (seventeen years ago) link

    THe thing is I can never tell, by what he's saying, if he means he just had SIX MOUNTAIN DEWS, 5 minutes ago, or as of 5 minutes ago, he finally achieved the accomplishment of tasting the 6th.

    Doesn't matter. He's temporarily fucked when they release the seventh one.

    Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (Eastern Mantr, Friday, 9 September 2005 18:52 (seventeen years ago) link

    i liked pitch black for a change of pace tho it was v. much like grape soda. code red was icky.

    Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:53 (seventeen years ago) link

    I think the word "icky" was pre-emptively coined for the flavor of Code Red, which could be charitably described as "the aftertaste in a downtrodden prostitute's mouth after eating an entire package of Luden's cough drops in a vain attempt to drown the taste of unwashed cock".

    The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:57 (seventeen years ago) link

    you could swear you can actually FEEL the corn syrup.

    Interestingly, I've been told that Mountain Dew was the last of the big brand sodas to make the switch from sugar to HFCS (aka diabetes in a bottle). I did love it back in the day, but, yeah, it's kinda nauseating nowadays.

    M. V. (M.V.), Friday, 9 September 2005 18:57 (seventeen years ago) link

    That thing about the prostitute was so not necessary.

    Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:00 (seventeen years ago) link

    omg dan. you've finally gone too far.

    Sterling Clover (s_clover), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:02 (seventeen years ago) link

    As punishment, you will not be invited to the LesBarbie Wedding.

    k/l (Ken L), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:04 (seventeen years ago) link

    it figures that it'd take Mountain Dew's involvement for that to happen

    Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:04 (seventeen years ago) link

    Dan, it was the frosting on the MD cake. really.

    kelsey (kelstarry), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:04 (seventeen years ago) link

    Where did you come upon the six varieties of Mountain Dew?

    I came upon the original elephant urine version in my childhood, as it was widely available, thought at the time I seem to recall preferring Mello Yello. That is no longer the case.

    When I was 22 and in the military, I was ordered to travel from Monterey, CA, to San Angelo, TX, and I did this over a weekend, with the help of a cohort in a separate vehicle and many bottles of Mountain Dew: Code Red. Many times that summer and in the following months I would hear another of my colleagues, an enlistee from Guam, quote a line from "A Few Good Men" in my presence, trying to be funny.

    When I was 25 and still in the military, living in a basement apartment in Maryland, I purchased two bottles of Moutain Dew LiveWire and started this thread.

    Last weekend, we went to Taco Bell to get lunch in the middle of a road trip to North Carolina, and I acquired a mssive plastic cup of Mountain Dew Baja Blast. It hit the spot.

    When I was 25 or 26 I discovered the original Mountain Dew Pitch Black in the cafeteria beverage coolers of the J. Edgar Hoover building. Now, almost a year later, I have found the sequel in almost exactly the same place, about 5 rows down and to the left just a bit.

    TOMBOT, Friday, 9 September 2005 19:05 (seventeen years ago) link

    "we got mountain dew and clam juice."
    "ewwww! i'll take the clam juice."

    andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:06 (seventeen years ago) link

    You remember all THAT but not my birthday!

    Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:06 (seventeen years ago) link

    about 5 rows down and to the left just a bit.

    Saga of sagas! Glad I asked.

    Confounded (Confounded), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:07 (seventeen years ago) link

    omg dan. you've finally gone too far

    Nonsense! Carry on, sir.

    M. V. (M.V.), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:09 (seventeen years ago) link

    "You Can't Handle the Dew?"

    Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:09 (seventeen years ago) link

    Half the time I can't tell whether I am reading this thread or the Plan My Wedding thread.

    k/l (Ken L), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:09 (seventeen years ago) link

    (x-post, meant to be posted after Ally's post)

    k/l (Ken L), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:10 (seventeen years ago) link

    Mountain Dew was invented in Knoxville.

    (This is mostly true.)

    gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:10 (seventeen years ago) link

    oh there's no wedding.

    Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:10 (seventeen years ago) link

    i've tried diet and code red--both were disgusting. but the original is cherce.

    perhaps we should toast with it at the WEDDING

    mookieproof (mookieproof), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:13 (seventeen years ago) link

    I really don't understand the massive amount of dislike for Code Red. I much prefer it to the original, though I think Dan might be right, Baja Blast is the kid at school that everybody likes.

    TOMBOT, Friday, 9 September 2005 19:14 (seventeen years ago) link

    (There are so many points in that last post of mine where I wanted to stop but it felt like demons were egging me on.)

    (And yes, if Code Red was the color of Baja Blast I would have much less of a problem with it.)

    The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:15 (seventeen years ago) link

    omg dan. you've finally gone too far.

    And people here complain about me. Sheesh. But he's actually not too far from truth. I had some last week because some eejit put it in the vending machine slot at work where Wild Cherry Pepsi was supposed to be, and it was, well, icky indeed.

    Ian Riese-Moraine: Let this bastard out, and you'll get whiplash! (Eastern Mantr, Friday, 9 September 2005 19:16 (seventeen years ago) link

    Like Wild Cherry Pepsi is this huge improvement

    Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:17 (seventeen years ago) link

    Drink That Funky Pepsi, White Boy.

    k/l (Ken L), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:19 (seventeen years ago) link

    God what is wrong with all of you people that you'd even consider putting these things into your bodies.

    Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:20 (seventeen years ago) link

    You're the one marrying Tom.

    n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:21 (seventeen years ago) link

    I'm not putting him in my body either!

    Allyzay knows a little German (allyzay), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:21 (seventeen years ago) link

    I guess your mom hasn't told you about what happens on the honeymoon yet.

    n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:23 (seventeen years ago) link

    I.e., YOU WILL BE FORCEFED ALL THE MOUNTAIN DEWS.

    n/a (Nick A.), Friday, 9 September 2005 19:23 (seventeen years ago) link

    https://twitter.com/boring_as_heck :

    http://i.imgur.com/wlZydlq.png

    pplains, Sunday, 23 August 2015 00:00 (seven years ago) link

    flavor designator

    brimstead, Sunday, 23 August 2015 00:09 (seven years ago) link

    http://kttv.images.worldnow.com/images/7234273_G.jpg

    It tastes pretty good mixed with vodka.

    Frobisher, Sunday, 23 August 2015 01:51 (seven years ago) link

    one month passes...

    http://i.imgur.com/3fWC7Zl.jpg

    pplains, Saturday, 26 September 2015 02:33 (seven years ago) link

    one year passes...

    http://i.imgur.com/sm69U7E.jpg

    pplains, Sunday, 8 January 2017 03:21 (five years ago) link

    one month passes...

    No, I guess this is the wrong thread.

    http://i.imgur.com/ovgZdtI.jpg

    pplains, Monday, 6 March 2017 01:46 (five years ago) link

    omg

    example (crüt), Monday, 6 March 2017 01:52 (five years ago) link

    epic

    El Tomboto, Monday, 6 March 2017 01:57 (five years ago) link

    three months pass...

    Today I'm trying the MTN DEW KICKSTART in ENERGIZING ORANGE CITRUS flavor (all of the flavors are ENERGIZING I think so perhaps the flavor is just ORANGE CITRUS). If nothing bad happens maybe later this week I will go back for the MIDNIGHT GRAPE.

    Alternatively I could act my age and go back to drinking espresso shots with hot water and half & half added. Maybe when it's no longer 96F outside at 10am.

    El Tomboto, Tuesday, 13 June 2017 15:54 (five years ago) link

    I tried the ENERGIZING MANGO LIME KICKSTART and it tasted like Pinesol, but it didn't necrotize my liver or poison my intestinal flora or anything. I find that the acrid, synthetic taste of most energy drinks is a helpful deterrent — you're really only supposed to drink this stuff every once in a while when you're feeling like shit and you happen to pass a convenience store, and I can't imagine having one every morning before work (especially with the $1.29 price tag). I can't stand coffee and tea so I usually just pop a caffeine pill or drink some Diet Mtn Dew when I need a cheap caffeine boost.

    the baby grew up to be a secessful kid (unregistered), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:53 (five years ago) link

    I think it was a commercial for one of these things that I saw last night which made me and my gf totally crack up in a 'wtf are we even looking at right now' way. Which I guess is effective advertising but which isn't enough to make me buy a Dew product.

    Oh, I see now it was a Super Bowl ad so the entire rest of the country has probably already seen it but still
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ql7uY36-LwA

    The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T & the Women (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:56 (five years ago) link

    Mountain Dew for sophisticated grown-ups!!!

    http://i.imgur.com/NRTtF5Y.jpg

    the black label stuff is a decent pseudo craft soda even though it's a bit disingenuous of them to market it as 'dark berry' when the only berries it contains are grapes. it tastes lie Mountain Dew mixed with grape juice and trace amounts of orange juice

    the green label stuff tastes like green apple Jolly Ranchers. I hated it but ymmv

    the baby grew up to be a secessful kid (unregistered), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 16:59 (five years ago) link

    ah i saw the white one at a store in chicago the other day, was wondering what the deal was

    maura, Tuesday, 13 June 2017 17:00 (five years ago) link

    the white label one is unsweetened evaporated milk

    the baby grew up to be a secessful kid (unregistered), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 17:12 (five years ago) link

    great now they are making craft dew

    Dean of the University (Latham Green), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 17:18 (five years ago) link

    artisanal Mountain Dew

    what a world

    a butt groove but for feet (DJP), Tuesday, 13 June 2017 20:45 (five years ago) link

    five months pass...

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DQNt1HZUQAAzh1J.jpg:small

    mookieproof, Monday, 4 December 2017 16:13 (four years ago) link

    ^good stuff

    JRN, Monday, 4 December 2017 18:33 (four years ago) link

    one month passes...

    I just had Mountain Dew Ice, a clear variety of dew:

    https://i.imgur.com/RT8biu5.jpg

    It was good, it kinda tasted like sierra mist but better.

    Frobisher, Sunday, 21 January 2018 21:04 (four years ago) link

    The "Holiday Blend" was good

    JRN, Sunday, 21 January 2018 21:25 (four years ago) link

    A thread of renown:

    I just walked in on my friends having a Mountain Dew tasting party and I thought they were joking but they've definitely tasted 15 kinds so far and they have 27 flavors altogether. one friend says: "this is worse than the worst SAW movie"

    — priscilla page (@BBW_BFF) January 20, 2018

    Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 23 January 2018 00:18 (four years ago) link

    #jelly

    calstars, Tuesday, 23 January 2018 01:12 (four years ago) link

    I need some friends like that

    JRN, Tuesday, 23 January 2018 01:55 (four years ago) link

    it's a fucking soda

    The times they are a changing, perhaps (map), Tuesday, 23 January 2018 04:30 (four years ago) link

    pop

    mookieproof, Tuesday, 23 January 2018 04:37 (four years ago) link

    one year passes...

    That's right friends I'm looking at pictures of store brand Mountain Dew again pic.twitter.com/KeBno0lCPD

    — weed opposer (@yerpalmildsauce) April 19, 2019

    mookieproof, Saturday, 20 April 2019 22:04 (three years ago) link

    Glad they added the extra 'e' to HEEE HAW to avoid litigation from the Roy Clark Estate.

    pplains, Saturday, 20 April 2019 23:53 (three years ago) link

    KNow what goes good with some Mountain Shoutin'?

    https://i.imgur.com/BrXZRuC.jpg

    pplains, Sunday, 21 April 2019 04:10 (three years ago) link

    Dyin’

    calstars, Sunday, 21 April 2019 07:59 (three years ago) link

    incredible

    she carries a torch. two torches, actually (Joan Crawford Loves Chachi), Sunday, 21 April 2019 11:31 (three years ago) link

    one month passes...

    A thread of Eminem as bottles of Mountain Dew pic.twitter.com/B8CtTio5kM

    — ☥Seymour Guapo🌅 (@MacheteBlak) April 17, 2019

    mookieproof, Thursday, 6 June 2019 15:41 (three years ago) link

    two years pass...

    $SAM $PEP Boston Beer Partners w PepsiCo for U.S. Launch of New 'HARD MTN DEW' Alcoholic Offering. Adults of legal drinking age will experience the HARD MTN DEW bold flavors & distinctive branding, all w an Alcohol by Volume (ABV) of 5%, perfect for occasions to dial-up the fun pic.twitter.com/pIH1m5wfJv

    — Hammerstone Markets (@HammerstoneMar3) August 10, 2021

    mookieproof, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 13:33 (one year ago) link

    That's gotta go against the "no advertising to minors" rule.

    pplains, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 15:09 (one year ago) link

    this is just four loko isn't it

    criminally negligible (harbl), Tuesday, 10 August 2021 15:32 (one year ago) link

    I think the word "icky" was pre-emptively coined for the flavor of Code Red, which could be charitably described as "the aftertaste in a downtrodden prostitute's mouth after eating an entire package of Luden's cough drops in a vain attempt to drown the taste of unwashed cock".
    ― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Friday, 9. September 2005 13:57 (fifteen years ago) bookmarkflaglink

    christ

    groovemaaan, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 15:56 (one year ago) link

    'Zero sugar' doesn't sound fun to me... it'll probably have aspartame or something gross like that.

    Andy the Grasshopper, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 16:40 (one year ago) link

    Those look excellent

    calstars, Tuesday, 10 August 2021 16:41 (one year ago) link

    two weeks pass...

    I was tempted to wrack my brain in pursuit of the most disgusting mashup of various PepsiCo. products I could think of but I guarantee that PepsiCo. has already beat me to the punch somewhere along the line. I think maybe like a modified Arnold Palmer that's like half lemon Lipton and half ground up Funyuns is the only thing they have yet to try.

    Marty J. Bilge (Old Lunch), Friday, 27 August 2021 15:18 (one year ago) link

    hmm, a hot cold drink...could be interesting

    calstars, Friday, 27 August 2021 15:39 (one year ago) link

    I'd certainly take Flaming Hot Mountain Drew over Cool Ranch Mountain Dew.

    MarkoP, Friday, 27 August 2021 20:07 (one year ago) link

    that little demon lighting the hills on fire is not gonna fly here in the west

    Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 27 August 2021 20:15 (one year ago) link

    missed opportunity in thread title, should be MOUNTAINS DEW

    Lavator Shemmelpennick, Friday, 27 August 2021 20:19 (one year ago) link

    Throw some flamin' hot cheetos in there and call it a boba

    Andy the Grasshopper, Friday, 27 August 2021 20:25 (one year ago) link

    A road game my old band came up with driving back from shows was to try to top each other coming up with a more one up ridiculous combination of 3 things out of truck stop/convenience store. Usually a combination of food item, drink and then wild card.

    Like I went into the Redimart and got me a Code Red Mt. Dew, a package of Ho Ho's and a bag of Spicy Corn Nuts.

    One might reply with - I went into the Love's truck stop and got me a hot pickle in a bag, a pack of Cinnamon Dentyne and a King Cobra Malt Liquor.

    Fun for the whole family or doom band roadtrip...

    earlnash, Friday, 27 August 2021 20:28 (one year ago) link

    one year passes...

    i've preemptively named every mountain dew-based cocktail. please note I've only made like 3 of these combinations pic.twitter.com/GbaGQ8novD

    — Jack Grimes (@Jackapedia_) September 19, 2022

    mookieproof, Wednesday, 21 September 2022 04:18 (one week ago) link

    Need tombot to have all the mountain dews cocktails and report back

    mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Wednesday, 21 September 2022 04:22 (one week ago) link

    “Deaths Dynamic Grog “
    DDS going mainstream huh

    calstars, Wednesday, 21 September 2022 05:15 (one week ago) link

    I've never made a Mtn Dew based cocktail, but recently tried a Gatorade Gimlet and it was pretty darn good

    Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 21 September 2022 16:30 (one week ago) link

    not sure how it escaped comment, but the so-called Hard Mountain Dew not only has no sugar, it also has zero caffeine
    a couple of them accurately present a MD-like flavor, the rest totally miss

    mh, Wednesday, 21 September 2022 16:35 (one week ago) link


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