Things you'd like to see Cameron Diaz do

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1) Go into space. She can bouce off the walls and spin in the air and giggle hysterically. Then, point at the earth and breathlessly talk about how beautiful it is. "It's beautiful!" she will say, meaningfully.

2) Change a tire.

3) In an episode of "Trippin" that turns into a strange homage to "There's Something About Mary," she gets monkey spunk in her hair. Bemused, she asks her native guide, "Do they always do that?"

― happy fun ball (kenan), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:25 (eighteen years ago) link

make a movie where heather matarazzo plays a character that's a very cutting very mean caricature of sofia coppola.

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:29 (eighteen years ago) link

o, and gain some weight

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:30 (eighteen years ago) link

Play the living shit out of a banjo.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:30 (eighteen years ago) link

I wouldn't like to see Cameron Diaz get monkey spunk in her hair, actually. I doubt that I am alone in this.

― The Ghost of Monkeyspunk Television? Who Knew? (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:30 (eighteen years ago) link

1)ot make another film where she shakes her ass at the camera in a corny dance routine.
2)not smile
3)fuck off

― European Samuel Glickstein (nordicskilla), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:32 (eighteen years ago) link

I thought this would be a Calum thread.

― Leon Future Coffee (Ex Leon), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:33 (eighteen years ago) link

AWWW YEAH

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:33 (eighteen years ago) link

Totally back up a toilet and then plunge the thing until it drains.

― dan m (OutDatWay), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:35 (eighteen years ago) link

"1)not make another film where she shakes her ass at the camera in a corny dance routine."

the really weird thing about her doing those is that SHE HAS NO ASS.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:35 (eighteen years ago) link

I wouldn't like to see Cameron Diaz get monkey spunk in her hair, actually.

Some decisions will have to be made in the editing room, obv.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:36 (eighteen years ago) link

Melt.

― Aimless (Aimless), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:36 (eighteen years ago) link

move to London, mwah ha ha

― Aaron A., Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:38 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.kenston.k12.oh.us/khs/tplookalike_new/Micky_Dolenz4.jpg

"Here we come...."

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:40 (eighteen years ago) link

1) me
2) porn

― shookout (shookout), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:40 (eighteen years ago) link

Give Patrick Stewart a noogie.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:41 (eighteen years ago) link

swallow Britney Spears whole

― sugarpants: new and improved! (sugarpants), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:41 (eighteen years ago) link

Shoot a shark with a harpoon gun, screaming at the top of her lungs, while nu-metal blares over the speakers.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:42 (eighteen years ago) link

i think she is cuet, though.

― sugarpants: new and improved! (sugarpants), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:42 (eighteen years ago) link

Ride a giant python through rush hour traffic, laughing hysterically.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:42 (eighteen years ago) link

start a nu-metal band

― sugarpants: new and improved! (sugarpants), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:43 (eighteen years ago) link

kick Lucy Liu in the nuts

― sugarpants: new and improved! (sugarpants), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:43 (eighteen years ago) link

then kiss her

― sugarpants: new and improved! (sugarpants), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Spontaneously combust.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Sew the sides of her joker-mouth together.

― Lemonade Salesman (Eleventy-Twelve), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:45 (eighteen years ago) link

Direct Paris Hilton's "official" porn debut. With soundtrack by N*Sync.

― sugarpants: new and improved! (sugarpants), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:45 (eighteen years ago) link

Shill for PETA. As long as it involves TITTAYS.

― Aaron A., Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:45 (eighteen years ago) link

Develop Tourette's.

― sugarpants: new and improved! (sugarpants), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Ummmmmm, some of this stuff isn't funny. Fuck you people!

― Cameron Diaz, Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:47 (eighteen years ago) link

strangle Stephen Hawking

― Aaron A., Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:47 (eighteen years ago) link

Post on ILX.

xpost!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:50 (eighteen years ago) link

dude shookout you realize Cameron Diaz HAS done porn before, right? Just do an internet search on "Cameron Diaz porn"--she's suing the guy who spread around the video, even though it wasn't exactly a Paris Hilton/Pamela Anderson "private" video turned public scenario, Diaz was paid to do it!

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:53 (eighteen years ago) link

I'd like to see Cameron Diaz punch an Anne Coulter, really hard, like, nose-breakingly hard. I'm not sure why.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:55 (eighteen years ago) link

that wasn't porn it was a "topless modeling" shoot. who cares about her non-existent boobies anyway....

x-post

― Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:55 (eighteen years ago) link

Kiss a kitten.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Kiss a red panda.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:56 (eighteen years ago) link

S&M "topless modelling" = soft-core porn, dude, I mean that's what British tabloids and Playboy make all their money off of!

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:57 (eighteen years ago) link

hey playboy's showing lips now!

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:58 (eighteen years ago) link

i read.

― j blount (papa la bas), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:58 (eighteen years ago) link

yeah I know, it just seems really tame to me... especially compared to other celebrity "porn" (Paris, Tommy Lee)

Playboy is *all* about full frontal nudity as money shot.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 20 April 2005 18:58 (eighteen years ago) link

....not make a movie like INVISIBLE CIRCUS......

― Roman (Roman), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 19:29 (eighteen years ago) link

Act without making me cringe.

― Ian Riese-Moraine. To Hell with you and your gradual evolution! (Eastern Mantra), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 19:38 (eighteen years ago) link

"Non existent boobies"... now to me this is the sort of misogynistic clap trap that gets my heckles up.

It's not about how big a girl's bust is, it is about how she carries herself. Some of the hottest women in history have had small busts. Go fuck yourself - Diaz is a fox.

― NamC-, Wednesday, 20 April 2005 19:44 (eighteen years ago) link

hysterics

― The Ghost of Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 19:49 (eighteen years ago) link

I would like to see Cameron Diaz do that butt-plug/pop-rocks/pissing-in-her-own-mouth trick.

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 19:50 (eighteen years ago) link

That sounds like more than one trick.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 19:54 (eighteen years ago) link

it's kind of a hop, skip, jump.
if Jon Williams was still alive he could post a video demonstration.

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 19:56 (eighteen years ago) link

Direct Paris Hilton's "official" porn debut. With soundtrack by N*Sync.

Paris is too busy fucking with Paris to have his kids. (I kid you not.)

― nathalie doing a soft foot shuffle (stevie nixed), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 20:00 (eighteen years ago) link

I would like to see Cameron Diaz do that butt-plug/pop-rocks/pissing-in-her-own-mouth trick.

You're dangerously close to invoking t*b g*rl here.

― nickn (nickn), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 20:22 (eighteen years ago) link

maybe, but it's the "cute" version

― The Sensational Sulk (sexyDancer), Wednesday, 20 April 2005 20:26 (eighteen years ago) link

haha - Calum called me a mysogynist! awesome.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 20 April 2005 20:33 (eighteen years ago) link

"Who cares about her non-existent boobies anyway...."

Yeah, this sort of judgemental horseshit about what a woman's breasts should or should not look like strikes me as misogynistic.

Like you'd turn down Diaz anyway. You'd fucking cut of your right leg to have a girl half as hot as her.

― Nam_C, Wednesday, 20 April 2005 21:33 (eighteen years ago) link

you know me so well.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Wednesday, 20 April 2005 21:51 (eighteen years ago) link

shakey you don't love skinny flat assed white chicks with joker mouths?

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 21 April 2005 00:57 (eighteen years ago) link

WHOA PLAYBOY IS SHOWING THE VADGE NOW??? damn

Cameron Diaz's body isn't why she's totally nonhot, and you better watch it with that joker mouth nonsense, sailor!

― Allyzay Subservient 50s-Type (allyzay), Thursday, 21 April 2005 00:58 (eighteen years ago) link

"shakey you don't love skinny flat assed white chicks with joker mouths?"

No, in fact I think they should be subject to forcible breast enlargement surgery and big-assification and required to read a steady diet of Andrea Dworkin and Katherine McKinnon while recovering/waiting for the swelling to go down.

― Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 21 April 2005 01:37 (eighteen years ago) link

you damn dirty misogynist!

― j blount (papa la bas), Thursday, 21 April 2005 01:39 (eighteen years ago) link

I do not want to see Cameron Diaz do that.

― happy fun ball (kenan), Thursday, 21 April 2005 01:40 (eighteen years ago) link

administer lysol douche

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 21 April 2005 01:41 (eighteen years ago) link

Sort her skin out

― Paul Kelly (kelly), Thursday, 21 April 2005 01:43 (eighteen years ago) link

now that I think about it Cameron Diaz as a Dworkin-quoting proto-feminist would actually be kinda funny. We could giggle cruelly behind her back while she mispronounces "priapic" and "oligarchy"

― Shakey Mo Collier, Thursday, 21 April 2005 01:43 (eighteen years ago) link

i'd like to see her live a full and happy life

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 21 April 2005 01:49 (eighteen years ago) link

also, bukakke

― kyle (akmonday), Thursday, 21 April 2005 01:51 (eighteen years ago) link

play basketball against Calum Robert Waddell

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 21 April 2005 01:55 (eighteen years ago) link

wash her face

― MURDERBALL OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS (deangulberry), Thursday, 21 April 2005 01:55 (eighteen years ago) link

wash my face

― MURDERBALL OF THE TRAVELLING PANTS (deangulberry), Thursday, 21 April 2005 01:59 (eighteen years ago) link

pet the forest

― gabbneb (gabbneb), Thursday, 21 April 2005 02:00 (eighteen years ago) link

get off her bitch-ass and make me some pie

― ()ops (()()ps), Thursday, 21 April 2005 02:03 (eighteen years ago) link

shave her head

― Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 21 April 2005 02:04 (eighteen years ago) link

Calum: "Women are beautiful in all of their forms, as long as they're skinny white girls."

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 21 April 2005 02:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Things you'd like to see Cameron Diaz do (69 new answers)

*snicker*

― Markelby (Mark C), Thursday, 21 April 2005 10:43 (eighteen years ago) link

I'd like to see Cameron Diaz win a hot dog eating contest.

― Matthew C Perpetua (inca), Thursday, 21 April 2005 11:15 (eighteen years ago) link

Arabian Goggles

― Chris 'The Nuts' V (Chris V), Thursday, 21 April 2005 11:39 (eighteen years ago) link

I like her. I saw her on Letterman once and she was entertaining. She has acne and is just one of those girls with a super fast metabolism. Some of my best friends have super fast metabolism. She gets injured all the time doing cool shit, like snow boarding.
I dig.

― Nellie (nellskies), Thursday, 21 April 2005 12:08 (eighteen years ago) link

Time

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 21 April 2005 12:29 (eighteen years ago) link

I'd like to see her handle an angioplasty on a collapsed aorta.

― Ian Riese-Moraine. To Hell with you and your gradual evolution! (Eastern Mantra), Thursday, 21 April 2005 15:01 (eighteen years ago) link

The Locomotion (with me)

― Penelope_111 (Penelope_111), Thursday, 21 April 2005 17:07 (eighteen years ago) link

seven years pass...

NSFWish
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mblhz7TsdA1qa42jro1_500.jpg
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mblhzyHU5o1qa42jro1_500.jpg
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbli0cVeo31qa42jro1_500.jpg
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbli0r9BnD1qa42jro1_500.jpg

just sayin

― carne asada, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:40 (eleven years ago) link

not safe for wishing

― some dude, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:42 (eleven years ago) link

So no-one had 'feed A-Rod popcorn'?

― pandemic, Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:47 (eleven years ago) link

Heh heh, I'll tell you what I'd like to see her do...

― has important things to say about gangnam style (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:49 (eleven years ago) link

Kabuki Theater

― has important things to say about gangnam style (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:49 (eleven years ago) link

that would be very interesting

― has important things to say about gangnam style (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 9 October 2012 14:49 (eleven years ago) link

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